


Prepare for trouble, make it double

by raging_fire



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Adoption, Bickering, Cassian is the sweetest father, Everything is Beautiful and Nothing Hurts, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Nesta comes around and is very protective
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:33:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 181,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24859204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raging_fire/pseuds/raging_fire
Summary: Years after the War, Nesta and Cassian lived an ideal life. Flexible schedules, tied only to each other, enjoying long vacations and delighting in each other's company while making the most of their carefree life. They never thought life could be so sweet, especially after the horrors of the War.That was until Nesta got pregnant, making them realise that they had to give up their hedonistic lifestyle and get their shit together before their child arrived.Hormonal Nesta, overly-protective Cassian, family feuds, assassination attempts and lots of stress about who the baby will like more. Welcome to parenthood!
Relationships: Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 239
Kudos: 400





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is going to be a long ride, my friends. Buckle up.  
> Daily updates!

"Pregnant," Elain whispers, as if in a daze. "Nesta, you're pregnant!"

‘Oh gods, a baby! You're going to have a baby! Wait, you actually _agreed_ to sleep with—‘

"Feyre, not now!" her sister hushed Feyre. "She's still in shock, can't you see?"

"I can see that clearly, but what did she expect? Babies come when you have sex! _Illyrian_ babies!"

"What do you think it'll be?"

"Oh, I'm definitely rooting for a girl--"

"But imagine if it's a boy, it'll be the splitting image of him!"

"A girl would look much more like us, silly! That's better for us!" said Feyre, making Elain laugh.

"Either way, it's going to be a hellion. Nesta, hello? Are you with us? Did you hear anything we said?"

"Majda, is she okay?"

"She's just in a bit of a shock right now," she heard the healer say with a joyous laugh. "Every female is when they hear the news. Fae children are scarce as it is, you know, and they never really expect them."

_Oh, if only..._

"Should we call him here to..."

At that, Nesta came to her senses. She whipped her head towards her younger sister, the High Lady of the Night Court, and gave her a look that promised murder. "Don't you dare call Cassian here or you'll pick up your fancy crown from the bottom of the Sidra."

Feyre frowned at her inaccurate threat. "Nesta, I haven't worn a crown in years, what are you on about? Breaking in the Vault will just--"

"If either of you say anything to Cassian, I will make your lives hell. I'll put goat poop inside your pillows and infect your food with termites. I can do worse than that, I assure you."

Her sisters exchanged a look and Feyre, the mischievous one of them, tried hard not to smile.

"Alright, fine, we won't. Are you... excited?"

Nesta tried hard not to snarl. _"Excited?_ I've been hurling my guts every damn day for the past week, I have terrible headaches, my mood is worse than usual and my favourite shop ran out of mango ice cream! I am the opposite of excited, I am furious and hungry and that damn idiot is halfway across the land, breaking fights and getting into fights and banging his chest like an ape while I am here, alone--"

"You're not alone, though,"

"Shh, don't interrupt her, Elain, let her finish."

‘—and extremely hungry! What do I even do?! I am twenty eight years old, too young to have children! We don't even have a room for a nursery! Oh my gods, I'm going to start crying. My sleep schedule will be fucked. I have to go on walks daily with the baby. My life is over. This is it, this is how my youth ends.’

As she looked at her two sisters, who didn't know if they should be excited or alarmed, Nesta came to one conclusion: she was doomed.

* * *

"Are you all better now?"

Nesta nodded, slowly sipping her tea. She realised with a pang that she could no longer spike it — the three of them had a habit of hosting so-called "tea parties" with their lady friends from Velaris in one of the grand salons from the House of Wind. They all dressed in their fineries, put on make up and jewelleries and Feyre ordered tons of delicacies and pastries and whatnot for the occasion. Musicians would play live music and it would all be sophisticated and very high-class, except that what they truly did was get fucking wasted until the males had to pick them up from the floors and hold back their glittery hair while they vomited for a day after. They couldn't do this once a week, because they'd usually be hungover for two or three days after (only top shelf alcohol, the strongest they could steal), so they had these parties once a month.

Nesta was officially banned from those parties. It was hard not to sob.

"Yes. No. I'm not ready for a baby."

"You always say you like babies, though," noted Elain.

"Yes, to look at them, not push one from my own vagina! Stars, I have to give birth. This is torture. Sex isn't worth all of this."

"Nesta, you're exaggerating. You know you don't have to have a baby if you don't want one," said Feyre.

That made Nesta focus on her sister. "An abortion?"

Feyre nodded, setting her teacup on the table. "No one is forcing you to have the baby. It's your choice. If you think you're not prepared then don't have it."

She looked at Elain, expecting to hear her protest, but she seemed just as resolute as her sister.

Nesta huffed. This was hell.

"No, I don't want to have an abortion. It's just..." she racked her brain, trying to find an explanation for the way she was feeling. "It's just extremely unexpected. We always use protection and we didn't even talk about babies yet."

Except for the times they're too drunk to remember about any sort of protection and just do it — but her sisters don't need to know that.

"You've been mated for well over five years," said Elain dryly, "and you haven't talked about babies yet? How?"

"We're both too young for such responsibilities!"

Feyre looked at her with wide eyes. "Too young? Nesta, Cassian is well over five hundred years old!"

Nesta made a sour face and fluttered her hand. "Please, not even you believe that bullshit. He's the most immature man I have ever met."

"He's also your mate."

She opened her mouth, then closed it again. Fair point.

"Due to my unfortunate taste in males. Cassian would probably drop the baby on its head on the first try."

That was a lie, she knew. Cassian loved children and it was obvious every time they visited the Illyrian camps — they'd flock to him like goslings around a goose. He taught them how to fly and fight and behave and gave them advice and even played with them. Cassian was good with them — _she_ wasn't. Not with the ones old enough to snap at her, because then she was inclined to send them flying into a river, but that was apparently "unacceptable" and "harmful". As if them calling her a witch and demon wasn't!

"Speaking of him, when is he coming back?"

"Tomorrow. At noon, probably. I don't have to tell him immediately, though, right? I can wait a couple more weeks."

"He's Fae, he will probably sense it on you if you don't tell him," said Feyre.

"Will he?" she wondered out loud. "Cassian's not that bright, it'll probably take him a while to notice."

Both of her sisters sighed. "He's the opposite of dumb and you know that," said Elain. "Just tell him, he'll be excited!"

Nesta glowered. She wasn't so sure about that.

"Well, one thing's for certain," she said in a chirpy voice, taking another sip of her bland tea. "Our vacation to the Summer Court is officially ruined. I can't possibly rock a revealing swimsuit while looking like a cannonball. Cheers to that!"

* * *

Nesta had spent the night in their apartment pacing, reading, stress eating, talking to herself out loud and organising her dressing room. All the while she mulled over the news.

A baby. There was a baby growing inside her stomach as she was folding her sweaters, and it was going to come out in less than nine months. Holy shit, she was going to be a mother!

After finishing her section of clothes, Nesta was bored enough that she moved to Cassian's side. She always made a fuss over his clothes — when they first moved in, he'd rarely fold them neatly and use hangers, less alone iron them. But after threatening him of moving out (extreme threats always worked on him), Cassian changed drastically. They shared their chores, but still, Nesta was a perfectionist. She organised her side of the dressing according to colour and season. Cassian always made fun of her for that.

A baby, she thought again. A small, crying, fat baby. They'd be in charge of it. They had to become responsible Fae, which was _outrageous_.

Since Nesta gave in to her feelings and accepted the bond with Cassian, the two of them lived a very carefree life. They indulged in their desires, partied, travelled, worked flexible schedules and had plenty of time for each other. Five years and the two of them were still pretty much inseparable — Nesta knew that wasn't going to go away anytime soon. She loved Cassian more than anything in the world, and she loved their lives. They were little more than carefree teenagers who had cake for breakfast and argued about washing the dishes; just the thought of having a routine for a baby made her head spin.

And yet...

As she stood kneeling in front of Cassian's multitude of shirts and folding them neatly, Nesta smiled.

A baby.

A part of her and Cassian. A tiny, incoherent creature that was going to look like both of them. A product of their love and clumsy, drunk sex nights. A new family member.

She was scared, obviously. Scared and worried and pretty sure that she wasn't fit to be a mother, but a part of her was excited.

But what if... What if he wasn't? What if he wasn't ready for such a big commitment and this was going to break their relationship?

Nesta sighed, worried again. She really needed to tell him.

* * *

Morning came and so did Nesta's nausea.

"Maybe bringing you rice pudding and cheese pastries wasn't such a good idea," mumbled Feyre as she held back Nesta's hair.

"You think?!" she half yelled, her head inside the toilet.

To her credit, Feyre stayed with her all throughout her puking session and didn't make any gag noises. After she was finished and clean, they moved to the living room, where she quickly cleared the coffee table of the food before Nesta could hurl again.

"Where's Elain?" she asked, trying to distract herself.

"Oh, Azriel took her to the summer market. Mor tagged along, she keeps eyeing one of the girls there."

That piqued Nesta's interest. "She has a crush?"

Feyre smiled. "It seems so. She storms out of the room whenever I ask her about it and Azriel told me that she sells pastries -- I actually picked these from her, I went undercover and she's really kind — and that she keeps making curtsies whenever she sees Mor. She got so flustered last time that she shoved a cupcake into her hands and it ruined her dress," she chuckled.

Nesta gasped. "And she wasn't pissed?"

"No, I think that's when she realised she liked her!" she continued to laugh, and Nesta joined in.

They gossiped until noon. Her apartment had an exquisite view of the Rainbow and they sometimes pointed out Fae they recognised. Feyre told her that Rhys is on audience duty and has to listen to people complain all day long, accompanied by Amren, who is most certainly reading a hex book and plotting their downfall or something. Oh, her reaction was going to be priceless once she revealed to them all about her pregnancy...

"Did you think more about it?" Feyre asked tentatively.

Nesta sighed. "All night long. I... I want this baby, of course I do, but I don't know if I'm ready."

That made Feyre smile in that soft, comforting way of hers. "Don't be stupid. You took care of me and Elain when we where babies and you managed it well enough. You are going to be an incredible mother, Nesta."

She smiled in earnest at her younger sister, because she knew she meant every word she said. But then she started ranting about how much she was going to spoil the baby, and she lost interest.

"Oh, I can't wait to give him or her presents and go on walks and play in parks and babysit! I already know what I'm going to give them when they'll turn one year old, I just have to forge Rhys' signature along with mine and that estate will be theirs! Oh, and the palace by the sea, and the one in the mountains! I hope it's a girl, I have so many diadems — well, maybe a boy will also like them, you never really know..."

When the clock chimed noon, Nesta made up an excuse and ushered Feyre out, promising to come visit her later in the afternoon. Cassian was supposed to be here any moment now, and she needed to mentally prepare for it.

Gods, she hoped it would go well...

* * *

"Demonic witch, I'm home! I brought liquor candies, this merchant said they'll get you wasted after eating two, wanna sample them? Nesta?"

She wasn't hiding in her study, but she wasn't particularly eager to jump into his arms and welcome him home. That was probably alarming for him, since Nesta was always excited to see Cassian come back from a mission and their clothes would disappear in less than three minutes, so she tried to appear composed when he stepped inside her study.

Her heart fluttered at the sight of Cassian. His hair was tied at his back, revealing his sharp jawline and prominent cheekbones. His hazel eyes were full of concern when they found hers, and his wings were tightly shut against his broad back.

"Sweetheart? What's wrong, why are you on the floor?"

Oh, right. She was sitting at the foot of her divan, hugging a manuscript she was currently reading. _That's_ how nervous she was.

"I'm fine, don't worry."

"You don't look fine," he said, now clearly concerned. "Nesta, what happened?"

And when he kneeled in front of her, their legs barely touching, Nesta didn't know if she should laugh or cry or hug him.

"Nothing bad," she managed to say, "but... I'm not sure if this is good or bad news for you."

He was skilled enough to control his expression, though Nesta could hear how fast his heart was beating, how nervous he was.

"Tell me."

"I... don't know how."

Cassian rolled his eyes, his worry getting the best of him. "Use your words, maybe?"

"It's not that easy!"

"Fine, do you want to write it down instead?"

"This isn't the time to mock me!"

"What? I'm not mocking you, you're the one scaring me!"

"I'm not scaring you, I'm trying to tell you something!"

"Then just say it or else I'm going to have a heart attack, you know surprises unnerve me!"

"You unnerve me right now!"

"You're acting like a child!"

"That's good, then, cause you're also going to have one!" she blurted out, then almost choked.

Well, that's one way of saying it.

Cassian froze. He looked at her without blinking, breathing, moving. Didn't sketch a single emotion. The longer the silence dragged, the more agitated Nesta became, so she nudged him.

"A-Are..." he said, then stopped, shaking his head as if in a daze. "Nesta, are you serious, or is this one of your jokes? Please don't lie to me."

She quickly shook her head. "I'm not joking. I've been vomiting since the day you left and I have all these other symptoms. I found out yesterday when Feyre and Elain took me to the healer and she confirmed it. I'm... I'm actually pregnant, Cass."

More silence.

His glazed eyes moved from her face to her stomach, and she realised by his expression that he did sense it -- the life inside her. The heartbeat. The scent.

Slowly, as if he couldn't believe it, Cassian shook his head, parting his lips to say something.

"Wait," she interrupted him. "Are you angry? Do you think it's too soon? I couldn't sleep last night 'cause I was so worried about your reaction, I didn’t—"

"Nesta," he said, and she shut up instantly.

His eyes were filled with tears as an enormous smile broke on his face. "Angry? How could I be angry, dumbass? We're going to have a baby!"

Nesta exhaled in relief and promptly burst into tears. She didn't realise how worried she was about his reaction until he said those words — and it filled her heart with so much joy.

Cassian hugged her to his chest while she cried. "I didn't think you'd want one now," she said between hiccups.

"Are you joking? Nesta, of course I want to have children with you! Oh my gods, this doesn't even feel real. I'm going to be a father."

That made Nesta pull back to see the tears flow on his shocked but happy face.

"We're going to be parents," he whispered, looking at her in awe.

Nesta nodded, sniffling. "We need a bigger place."

"We need clothes and toys and baby names. We also have to cancel our holiday."

"And give up drinking," she said with regret.

‘I can drink though, why—‘

Nesta shot him an icy look. "If I can't drink then neither can you, you bat. Throw out all the alcohol tonight."

He nodded solemnly, then grinned again. It lit his entire face and the excitement was so obvious that Nesta wondered why she was worried in the first place.

"I love you," he said, cupping her cheek and wiping her tears. "So fucking much. And I'll love our baby. And I have never, ever been this happy in my entire existence."

That made Nesta frown. "You said the same thing when we mated."

His smile twitched. "Yeah, w-well..."

"I'm just fucking with you, calm down."

"Are you done giving me heart attacks for the day?" he sighed, then pulled her in his arms again. "I can't believe this is real."

She smiled, drinking in his intoxicating scent, delighting in the way his arms felt around her body, how good it was to have him here, with her...

"I love you too," she said, looking up at him. "more than anything."

He kissed her forehead. "I didn't expect for this to happen today."

She moved closer, forgetting for a second what they were talking about. It's been a week now — and she had missed him so, so bad...

"Well, did you expect _this?"_ she asked when she kissed his neck, her hands deftly unbuttoning his flying leathers.

‘Can we—‘

"First thing I asked," she said, hands moving on their own accord.

That made Cassian smirk in that cocky way of his. "Let's celebrate, then."


	2. Chapter 2

That night, Nesta and Cassian invited their family to a restaurant by the Sidra. They booked a big table right next to the river, arrived there twenty minutes earlier just to enjoy some time alone in one of their favourite spots. After a very long and tiring ‘celebration’, which involved lots of sweet and slow sex (mostly because Cassian wasn’t a hundred percent sure that it wasn’t going to hurt her), they struggled to find the effort to get out of their apartment, but at the same time they wanted to tell the others as well. Gods knew for how long Feyre and Elain were going to keep their mouths shut and Nesta wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of telling them.

Azriel and Elain arrived firstly, followed by Rhys, Feyre and Mor, and lastly Amren, who looked like she’d rather be anywhere else but here. She had a spell book tucked under her arm and complained that she had work to do, but sat down and ordered the strongest drink nonetheless.

‘So, what’s the news?’ asked Mor, drinking from her champagne flute. ‘You said something happened.’

All eyes turned towards them. Cassian elbowed Nesta, indicating that she should be the one breaking the news.

Nesta looked at their curious faces — except for her sisters — and tried hard not to grin.

‘This idiot knocked me up. We’re going to have a baby.’

Their expressions were absolutely priceless.

The most dramatic one belonged to Rhys, whose mouth hung open and looked incredulously at the both of them, stuttering something incoherent. Then Mor, who squealed so loud that she scared some seagulls on the pier, knocking over the champagne bottle as she clasped her hands together. Azriel actually smiled — a genuine smile, teeth and all — while Amren made a face of disgust.

‘A baby? With _him?_ Nesta, I had higher hopes for you,’ she said, then leaned in towards her. ‘I can help you get out of this unwanted situation, if you’d like. I know this spell that…’

Cassian pushed Amren away. ‘Thanks but no thanks, she plans on keeping the baby.’

‘A shame, really.’

‘Wait, is this why you’ve been acting so weird?’ Rhys asked Feyre, who was positively beaming at the both of them. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?!’

‘The world doesn’t revolve around you, Rhys,’ replied Feyre, not even glancing at him over her champagne flute.

‘Try convincing him of that,’ muttered Amren.

Then came a maelstrom of questions. When, how, how long. Names. Gender. Nursery, birthing, clothes, education. Even Azriel inquired about their preference for the sex, and they both shrugged.

‘As long as it’s a healthy baby, does it even matter?’ said Cassian.

‘Gods above, I’m going to be an uncle,’ realised Rhys, watching the sky. ‘This is actually happening. The first of us having a baby. Azriel, we’re on our own now. The brotherhood of the bachelors has officially disbanded.’

Feyre elbowed him. ‘Bachelors?’

The rest of them laughed at Rhys’s incredulous face. ‘I didn’t expect them to have a baby so soon! It’s shocking!’

‘Feyre, I can only imagine how dramatic he’s going to be when you’ll get pregnant,’ pointed out Azriel, and Rhys turned white.

Oh, Nesta would pay to see that happening.

‘I’m so happy for you two,’ said Mor, wiping a tear. ‘I really hope it’s a girl, we definitely don’t need more of Cassians running around.’

Cassian threw his napkin in her face and before Mor could threaten to gut him, Feyre raised his glass and proposed a toast.

‘To a healthy baby! I hope it has all of my sister’s cleverness and Cassian’s skill in battle!’

‘And if it’s a boy all of my—‘

‘Cassian, just shut up and toast,’ said Nesta, raising her glass of juice.

They ate and celebrated until almost midnight. Most of them were obviously drunk by the end of it, including Amren, who was shockingly smiling at something Elain was telling her. It seemed almost surreal, that they were actually celebrating it, and as Nesta ate her third ice-cream, she leaned on Cassian.

‘I love you,’ she whispered, looking up at him.

Cassian smiled his giddy, tipsy smile, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

‘I love you more, sweetheart.’

‘Wait, what do you mean you already promised them the palace on the beach?’ she heard Rhys ask incredulously. ‘Feyre, I love that palace!’

‘Oh, stop being selfish, it’s for the baby’s birthday,’ replied his mate.

‘It’s not even born!’

‘Then make the most of that palace until then!’

Nesta laughed, and the others joined her when Feyre began filling Rhysand in on what else she’d promise their baby. His face of sheer horror said everything.

‘You two are going to bankrupt us,’ he told them with deadly seriousness.

Cassian laughed so hard that he chocked.

‘At least we won’t ever worry about money,’ she said, winking at Feyre.

* * *

Turns out that they had to worry about other things. More complicated things than money.

They gave themselves one month — one month to accommodate to the idea that they were going to be parents, set a healthy diet plan for Nesta, find another house to move in before the actual hell began.

She had just begun the last month of her first trimester and it was starting to show. Her stomach became more prominent and round, which meant that slowly, her clothes would stop fitting her. She was nauseous every damn morning, her appetite was off the charts and so were her moods. Cassian, her poor mate, barely left her side and looked more scared of her than ever, especially when they ran out of one of her favourite foods.

That was particularly difficult. Each time she bled she went out of her mind, until Madja assured her time and again that it was perfectly normal, and she realised that she needed to get out of the house more often to take her mind off of things.

When she began her second trimester, Nesta and Cassian began moving in their new house. It was just a few blocks away from their apartment and it was everything Nesta dreamed of — two story house with floor-to-ceiling windows, rustic interior, four bedrooms, a training room, a study, an enormous living room, spacious kitchen, a gorgeous porch, front and back yard, a basement for Cassian to store all of his weapons and balconies that overlooked the river. Nesta was in love with it.

When she offered to help with the carrying, Cassian was close to throwing her in the river for even suggesting it. He didn’t let her do any heavy lifting — his brothers joined him and took care of the grunt work while Feyre and her sipped lemonade on the porch. It took them three days to carry every little thing — it took them _an entire day_ to carry all of her books — and when they were finally done, Nesta helped Cassian unpack.

‘Nesta, you’re not supposed to do any work! I can take care of—‘

The book she hurtled at his head made him shut up.

Unpacking took them another week — mostly because Nesta took her sweet time picking the furniture and Cassian was indecisive about which gore paintings were appropriate to hang in their halls.

‘What about this?’

Nesta glanced at the painting depicting a half-naked man stabbing another half-naked man with an expression of pure bliss.

‘That’s not _that_ bad. Why don’t you put it near the door?’

They shared a passion for paintings of battle scenes, deaths and other grim scenes. The only happy ones they had were from Feyre — family portraits, random scenes from parties, sketches of the two of them when they were bickering, Nesta having a go at one of the war lords — and they kept those in their bedroom and living room.

Decorating the nursery was also a challenge. Feyre was there every day to paint the walls — she was the one who volunteered, actually. She painted towering mountains which looked all too realistic, nature scenes, glittering flowers and vines. On the ceiling she painted a blazing sun and a glorious moon, their faces glancing at each other while the starts surrounding them glowed even during the day.

‘It’s paint infused with starlight,’ Feyre explained her. ‘I figured we might do something with all the starlight that splashes us on Starfall. They glow brighter in the dark.’

It turned out so beautiful that Nesta began weeping, which she blamed on her hormones.

They picked a crib, filled the shelves with toys, prepared a changing table, a rocking chair, two armchairs, a bookcase with baby books which Nesta was more than glad to fill, then clothes. That’s when they began to bicker.

They were at one of the stores that sold baby stuff, which they almost raided anyway, and were fighting over what to buy.

‘Why can’t we get this? It’s gorgeous!’ she complained, showing Cassian the avocado onesie.

He levelled her a look. ‘Nesta, neither of us likes avocado. What even is the point?’

‘It’s cute!’

‘Fine, then we’re getting this as well.’

He held up a pair of baby Illyrian leathers, making Nesta grimace.

‘They’re pointless. Even if the baby has wings, they won’t fly until much later.’

‘It’s going to look adorable anyway.’

‘No.’

‘I wasn’t asking you. We’re getting it.’

‘Then we’re also buying that ballerina costume—‘

‘How do you know that they’ll like ballet?!’

‘I have expectations!’

‘Since when?!’

They ended up buying so many clothes that they probably wouldn’t even get to use them all, but it gave Nesta a sense of comfort nonetheless.

‘Have them delivered to our house,’ said Cassian to the helper, writing down their address. ‘You still have by bank number from last time, right?’

‘Yes, Commander,’ said the young girl, a lesser fae with pixie wings who couldn’t be more than fifteen. This was probably her parents’ shop but she was doing an amazing job of running it, since she managed to stay out of their way when they fought and brought out all the good stuff.

‘I told you to stop calling me that when we’re not training, Meira,’ said Cassian with a cheeky smile.

‘You’re still the Commander when we’re not training, though,’ Meira countered, making Nesta smirk. Oh, she liked her.

Despite being able to sense his amusement, Cassian gave her a hard look he usually used on the many young trainees he had — including this girl — which made her eyes widen. ‘Do you want to run fifty laps tomorrow morning? I can also pair you with that boy you’ve been eyeing for a while but still can’t find the guts to talk to him. Kayen, right? Didn't we have a talk last week about how important confidence is?’

‘No, no, I’m good,’ she said quickly, packing the additional baby bottles they bought and pushing the bags in his arms. ‘Thanks, Cassian!’

His serious façade fell, replaced by his usual bemused expression. ‘See you tomorrow, Meira.’

The girl waved at Nesta across the counter. ‘Bye, Nesta!’

She couldn’t help but smile at the girl. ‘Have a nice day, Meira.’

On their way home, Nesta couldn’t help but laugh. ‘The kids actually call you Commander? Oh, this is hilarious, I think I’m going to piss myself.’

They were on a bridge near the Rainbow, and the streets were bustling with Fae excited to watch the sun set and the live spectacles of the artists. The restaurants were beginning to fill, and random people saluted the both of them. Some women she knew even walked up to congratulate them, which she was beginning to get used to, but the ones who were accompanied by males did well to keep a respectful distance from her. Cassian didn’t make any scenes so far, but every now and then he’d tense whenever a male got too close to her, less alone touch her. None dared to, obviously.

It reminded her of the time they first mated — Cassian had an actual fight with an Illyrian male who thought it would be wise to grab her ass during a party. Enraged, Nesta punched him hard enough that her fist hurt for a week after, but then Cassian saw the scene and intervened. She didn’t even bother to stop him.

‘How else would they heed my orders when we’re training? You know I’m actually serious when it comes to training.’

‘I know, but I didn’t think it was the same with young children.’

‘That depends,’ he said, holding her hand with his free one. ‘I’m never strict with those under twelve, but the old ones always, _always_ have an attitude. They drive me mad sometimes with their sassy remarks and shows of power. Especially the mean ones… Cauldron, I wish I could strangle them sometimes. Azriel makes me punish them because apparently ‘ _I was one of them when I was young, so if I could be disciplined, then so can they_ ,’’ he mimicked Azriel’s quiet, gloomy voice, making Nesta laugh.

‘And what about that girl, Meira? Is she in your group?’

Cassian waved at a male from a tavern, then returned his attention towards her. ‘Yeah, she’s the one Azriel likes.’

‘Wait, what the—‘

‘Ew, not like that! She’s barely sixteen!’ he scrunched his nose in disgust. ‘I mean that he likes her because she’s the quiet one, which makes her one of the most unpredictable trainees we have.’

‘Is she strong?’

He pondered on that questions for a bit. ‘Depends on your perception regarding the word ‘strong’. Physically? Starting to. Her mother is a refugee from the Spring Court, one of the pixies who couldn’t afford to pay the Tithe. They were starving when they got here. Meira was barely a couple years old, I still remember when they got here. She’s been in my group since she was six. I taught her how to fly. Azriel is more fascinated by her ability to control her elements, but she can’t control them well due to her impatience.’

‘Oh, she’s impatient? You must also like her, then.’

‘True,’ he grinned. ‘But being impatient and quiet can be a dangerous combination. She can make rash decisions and not consult the others, so we’ve been trying to develop a buddy system for a while now to make them get along better with each other. You’d be surprised by how much teenagers fight.’

‘So that boy you mentioned, she likes him?’

‘She’s smitten with him, but would never make the first move. I already paired them together, just because I saw him staring at her as well. What's it with girls never making the first move?’

'I made the first move with you, Cass.'

He laughed. 'Because I made sure you knew I was in love with you already and there wasn't even the possibility of rejection or utter embarrassment for you. See how much consideration I have? It's the same with Meira, I'm just pushing her towards him because I know he already likes her.'

‘Aww, look at you, playing the matchmaker. I’m definitely not letting you train my kid, who knows what you’ll teach them.’

Cassian looked at her with bewilderment. ‘Who else is going to teach them how to fly?!’

‘Azriel, Rhysand, even Feyre…’

‘Fuck no. They’re all amateurs.’

Nesta let him complain until they passed one of her favourite restaurants. ‘Let’s eat, I’m craving some mashed potatoes with hot sauce!’

He groaned, letting her drag him towards a free table. ‘I swear your cravings become more and more disgusting by the day.’

* * *

Her cravings _did_ became more and more obscure with each passing day. Sometimes she’s wake in the middle on the night to eat olives with cheese until she’d fall asleep on the kitchen table, or pickles with peanut butter, or fries which she dipped in smoothies. That particular one made Cassian gag.

Other times she’d just munch on ice cubes. Whenever she felt the need for a cocktail, she’d ask Cassian for sour sweets. She tried to stick to her healthy diet, but it was impossible not to eat some junk food here and there. While she was at work, arguing with annoying ambassadors from other courts or continents, Nesta forced herself to drink as many green smoothies as possible, which angered her even more. Her co-workers knew well to steer clear of her.

The swelling wasn’t helping, either. She was growing bigger and bigger each week — too big. Her clothes didn’t fit anymore, so she had to buy new ones. Her feet hurt all the time and even though she wasn’t sick in the morning anymore, her moods were still fucked up. Cassian kept asking her to stop going to work, to stay home or go to the library, but she refused. Staying at home would just bore her to death, since he also had to work during the day.

‘What do you mean they refused to sign the trade contract? Why?’ she asked one of her subordinates, a young boy with purple skin and sharp horns.

‘Apparently we’re not giving them enough benefits,’ said Eleri. ‘They want more profit. They are supporting the costs of travel and taxes, so in exchange they want to receive more gems.’

Nesta simmered. Trade contracts were always precarious, especially with the cities from the continent, but this was just driving her mad. It was the third time they complained about taxes and whatnot.

‘I’ll review it later. What about the one with Ellesmere? They were supposed to send us rare medicinal herbs and potions in exchange for weapons.’

‘Oh, they also refuse to sign it.’

Nesta’s right eye twitched.

‘The herbs we requested are pretty rare, so they want only Illyrian weapons.’

‘That’s a joke, right?’

Eleri pursued his lips. ‘I’m afraid not, my lady. Their ambassador was very clear with his demands.’

‘Then please bring him here, Eleri, so I can make him reconsider his demands!’

He looked at her with wide eyes, opening his mouth to say something, until a familiar voice chuckled.

‘Don’t bother bringing that old man here, Eleri, he’d probably die before my mate would have the chance to threaten him. Aren’t you tired of terrorising old men?’

Nesta glowered at Cassian, who, walked inside her office without even being announced by her secretary. He probably bribed her.

‘You know that’s my favourite activity.’

Eleri was wise enough to gather all the paperwork and leave in a haste, saluting Cassian on his way out, who winked at him. As soon as he closed the door behind him, Cassian glared at her.

‘Why are you still here? We have an appointment in ten minutes!’

‘What? No, it’s at five, and it’s…’ she looked at the clock, then winced. ‘Look how fast the time flies.’

Groaning, Cassian picked up her coat from her chair and helped her put it on. ‘You idiot. She said she was going to tell us the gender today, how can you forget?’

‘I didn’t, I just got caught up in work! Look at these agreements and requests, they are—‘

Cassian grabbed her hand and almost dragged her towards the door. ‘Nesta, I love you with all my heart, but each time you say the words ‘agreements’ or ‘treaties’, I lose all interest. I’m more interested in learning if we’re going to have a boy or a girl.’

Nesta rolled her eyes, buttoning her coat. ‘I told you, I’m a hundred percent sure it’s going to be a boy. My maternal instincts won’t betray me.’

‘And what if it’s a girl?’ he asked, opening the front door of the embassy. ‘I honestly don’t know which one would be more difficult.’

‘It’s a child, they’re difficult nonetheless.’

They walked towards the building where their healer, Madja, had her office. Since she was near the end of her second trimester, she promised them that she’d try to find out the gender of the baby (she was quite a powerful midwife), which both thrilled and scared her. A part of her wanted a boy, because she always thought that boys were easier to handle, yet a girl would look more like her than Cassian. Hopefully.

As soon as they got to Madja’s office, Nesta was more nervous than ever. She answered her questions, let her touch her swelling belly, Cassian staying right next to her (he refused to wait outside, believing that it was a ‘discrimination’) and chirped in every now and then.

‘You’re also taking the vitamins, right?’ she asked.

Nesta nodded. ‘All of them.’

‘Did you two finish with the baby shopping?’

When Cassian said yes and Nesta said no, Madja laughed.

‘Please abstain from fighting for ten minutes, I’d rather…’ she faltered, a look of concern replacing her smile.

‘What? What’s wrong?’ she asked immediately.

Cassian tensed next to her while she tried hard not to jump from the table and demand answers. Madja continued to touch her belly, pushing slightly in different areas, closing her eyes and concentrating.

‘Madja,’ began Cassian, a shadow of warning in his voice. He never talked to the female that repaired his wings like that.

‘Shh, I’m trying to listen.’

They stood like that for three more minutes — she knew, because she counted each second. All types of horrible thoughts filled her mind; what if the baby was sick? Or dying? Or already dead? What if they had missing limbs or had an extra had or twelve toes?

She was a millisecond away from screaming at Madja to tell her what the hell was wrong when a smile spread across the her face. She raised her eyes at both of them and shook her head with incredulity.

‘There are two heartbeats in there.’

Nesta’s own heart stopped beating. Cassian took a step back.

‘I’m sorry, what?’ he asked. ‘A-Are you saying…’

‘Twins?’ asked Nesta, looking at her own belly with disbelief.

Madja nodded, patting Nesta on the shoulder. ‘Congratulations, mommy, you’re going to have two baby daughters.’

Silence. Two.

Two babies. _Daughters._

Nesta turned instinctively towards Cassian, who turned white. ‘Your maternal instinct my ass,’ he said, before dropping to the floor.

Fainted.

That idiot _fainted_ right in front of her, leaving her dumbstruck. Madja hurried to his side, attempting to wake him up, while Nesta didn’t know if she should laugh or cry.

Twins.

Cauldron boil them, now they were truly doomed.


	3. Chapter 3

‘Wait, did Nesta lie or did you actually _faint?’_

Cassian gave Rhys a pointed look. ‘You see what it’s like to find out that your mate is pregnant not only with one child, but _two,_ and they are _both_ girls. Mother’s tits, I am so fucked. I can barely handle Nesta, what the hell am I going to do with two miniature versions of her?!’

‘Maybe one of them will take after you,’ offered Azriel, who was trying to be sensible about the whole situation.

Cassian stared at the city sprawling under him, trying hard not to throw himself over the railing. As if that would help.

‘I am officially a dead Illyrian walking. How do I even tell them apart?’

‘Write numbers on them, or give them bracelets of different colours. When they grow older, just dye their hair a different shade. I’m sure they’ll be thrilled, kids love colours.’

‘Rhysand, I am seconds away from bashing your face in. I haven’t had a proper fight in days now.’

That bastard put his cocktail on the table and smirked. ‘Wanna take it out in the ring?’

‘Rhys, stop, he’s clearly distressed,’ intervened Azriel, always the voice of reason. ‘Are you upset?’ he asked him.

‘Why would he be upset? _I_ should be the one upset, Feyre told me to say goodbye to the palace in the mountains as well! Apparently we _‘can’t be cheap with our nieces’_ and she’s already going through the diadems to see which one are small enough to fit their heads. I told you, we’re going to be broke by the time those girls turn old enough to even understand the concept of money.’

Cassian turned towards his brothers, who were both sitting at the table on one of the balconies from the House of Wind. He called them here hours ago not only to break the news (apparently they had already found out from Nesta, and that snake also mentioned the fainting part) but also ponder on what that new information implied.

It’s been a day since they both found out and they were still shocked. Nesta spoke only after a couple of hours, and just to point out that it made sense why she ate so much, after which she debated out loud the cons and pros of the whole twin situation. Madja assured them that it didn’t mean they were going to be identical, which he prayed that it was true, but he was still scared shitless, which is exactly what he told them.

‘I mean, what if they don’t like me when they’re older? What if they don’t even want to learn how to fight or what if they fight between each other? What if they can’t stand each other?’

‘Siblings never stand each other when they’re young,’ mused Rhys, facing the sun and unbuttoning his shirt to tan. ‘Look at Feyre and Nesta. They hated each other’s guts.’

‘Fuck.’

‘Is Nesta excited?’ asked Azriel.

That made him groan in exasperation. ‘At first, no, but then she started liking the idea more and more, and now she has another excuse to go out and buy even more stuff. Can you even imagine how many boys I’ll have to threaten when they grow up?’

‘What if they like girls?’ inquired Rhys, taking a sip of his cocktail.

That made Cassian pause.

‘Imagine how many boys _and_ girls I’ll have to threaten when they grow up,’ he corrected himself. ‘I’m not making any differences when it comes to being heartbroken. Maybe they won’t even like boys or girls and I’ll never have to worry about someone breaking their hearts!’

At that, both Azriel and Rhys laughed.

‘Good luck with that,’ said Azriel.

‘Is Nesta demolishing the nursery yet? Feyre told me that she’s redecorating it now.’

‘To my utter despair, yes. We have to get another crib. At least we have enough clothes, since we basically bought the entire shop.’

Cassian sighed, finally sitting down. ‘I’ll need a longer leave from work. I’m not letting Nesta handle two babies on her own.’

‘Already figured that out,’ replied Rhys. ‘Don’t worry about it. Worry about all the tea parties you’ll have and how still you’ll have to be when they’ll want to put makeup on you. I can’t wait for that to happen,’ he chuckled.

‘Don’t worry, you and Feyre will still babysit them so you’ll know exactly how that feels.’

‘I hope they also make you wear dresses.’

‘Now you’re just being petty.’

Rhys rolled his eyes, straightening his back. ‘Look, I don’t get why you’re so worried. You love children, Nesta…’ he grimaced, making Cassian sigh. ‘Nesta _did_ raise her sisters well enough and she will obviously love her babies. You do realise how lucky you are to have twins, right? They are extremely rare as it is. You should be glad instead of worrying about such nonsense.’ Then, just to annoy him, Rhys imitated Cassian, but with a high-pitched voice which was definitely the opposite of his: ‘‘ _Oh, what if they don’t like me? What if they don’t like their clothes or blankets or the colour of their pacifiers or the colour of their room?’_ Boo hoo, you baby, worry about all those sleepless nights and changing nappies.’

‘He’s got a point,’ added Azriel. ‘Taking care of a baby is hard enough anyway. But you’ll learn, don’t worry. Babies are resilient creatures.’

‘Hey, Az, do you wanna make a bet? A hundred golden coins that they won’t make it a week without an army of nannies.’

Azriel’s lips turned upwards. ‘A week? I’m giving them five days.’

‘Make it two.’

He stood up and grabbed Rhys by the arm, pulling him up. ‘Okay, let’s get in that ring. _Now.’_

* * *

Two weeks passed since Madja revealed that Nesta was going to have twins and her life could not have become more complicated. While extremely skeptical at first, now she made her peace with the idea and was actually excited.

Two girls — they won’t ever have to worry about not having someone to rely on except their parents or aunts and uncles. She already modified the nursery with the help of her sisters, which were so shocked at first that Elain burst into tears.

‘Oh my gods, you are _so_ screwed,’ she first said, but then got all excited thinking about the things she’d teach them. ‘I can take them to the flower market every weekend or to see the deers and baby rabbits! It’s going to be so fun!’

Feyre kept talking about gifts and baby showers and teaching them how to hunt. Nesta didn’t really see how that would be necessary, but she didn’t want to burst her bubble.

Now, as she tried — and failed — to put on her shoes, Nesta realised that time was truly flying by. All she did these days was read as many baby books as she could, go to the embassy whenever Cassian was training or working and eating her weight in fries and whatnot. Pregnancies were harder than she expected.

Sighing, she sat down on the couch, cradling her bump. Cassian was supposed to be here any minute now — they were supposed to leave for the Hewn city for a celebration. He didn’t want to go at first, deeming it too dangerous for her, but after numerous threats and pleads, he relented.

‘Fine,’ he had said, ‘but you’re not leaving my side. Promise?’

‘Promise,’ was her reply, followed by a lingering kiss.

‘Your daddy might be an annoying ass sometimes,’ she told the girls, ‘but he is also extremely protective. You won’t ever have to worry about not being well taken care of.’

She began talking to her babies when Cassian initiated it — one night, when she was complaining about violent kicks, Cassian helped her to bed and gently kissed her belly, then telling them about how excited they both were to meet them. It made Nesta cry, obviously. She was worried that Cassian would think that two babies would be too much, but the idea also began to grow on him, and now they were both looking forward to it.

‘We’re still arguing about names, you know,’ she continued. ‘I want something more sophisticated and your daddy wants brutal names to instil fear in your enemies’ hearts. I already told him that he’s crazy, don’t worry. You’ll get used to it.’

Before she could talk more shit about her mate, she heard Cassian land on their balcony.

‘He’s also a savage,’ she whispered to them. ‘Let’s hope you won’t take after him because otherwise mommy will disown you both.’

‘Hey, sweetheart, how are you feeling?’

Nesta attempted to stand up to kiss Cassian, but it took a twist to the side and a push in her arms to actually manage it. ‘Like a daffodil,’ she mumbled.

He looked more disheveled than usual, which did wonders to her body (more than he already did). He had just gotten back from training with one of his Illyrian units which were posted in Velaris, and they always made him look a little less put together than usual. His hair was still sweaty and barely hanging in that messy bun he’d made, and as he took off his shirt to expose his tattooed, glistening chest, Nesta sighed.

‘And horny.’

He stopped taking off his clothes, looking a bit startled. ‘Nesta, we talked about this.’

She couldn’t help but stomp her foot. ‘It’s been a week!’

‘I love you with all my heart, but I’m not having sex with you until these two little munchkins get out of there,’ he said, kneeling in front of her and kissing her ginormous belly. ‘We’re not traumatising them before they even get to take their first steps, so no.’

‘But that’s not fair!’

Cassian sighed. ‘Nesta, you heard what Madja said last time. You’re too far ahead _and_ expecting twins, so having sex can involve complications. Is an orgasm worth delivering them early?’

She refrained from saying yes, because that would probably make her a horrible mother.

‘It’s not going to be long now.’

‘I know, but that doesn’t make it easier. Everything hurts, I’m tired all the time and I look huge!’

Cassian stood up and kissed her, then rested his forehead on hers. ‘You are not _that_ huge,’ he laughed. ‘I think you’re more beautiful than ever.’

‘Liar.’

‘Would I ever lie to you?’

‘You lied about eating the last of my cheese sticks.’

‘Yeah, well, those were desperate times. You were raiding the pantry and I was starving.’

Nesta laughed, then sat back down on the couch. ‘How was training?’

Cassian noticed her discarded shoes and picked them up, helping her put them on. ‘Same as always. Got into at least three brawls today and none even managed to punch me, which was a bit disappointing, since I was looking forward to kicking someone’s ass.’

‘Any more rebels?’

‘No. I threatened to level their petty camps, so now they’re all standing down. Some even pledged their alliance to us, which is a win. Azriel’s monitoring them, obviously, since we can’t trust them all.’

Nesta smiled and ruffled his hair. ‘I’m proud of you.’

He did that thing he always did when Nesta said that she was proud of him — looked anywhere else but at her, his cheeks turning slightly pink and smiling his sweet smile. At first it never occurred to her why it meant so much to him, but over time she realised that Cassian didn’t grow up hearing those words, so Nesta made sure to remind him every day how much she loved and even looked up to him. She had to admit, he was a true warrior who survived against all odds and still managed to turn into a male with a heart of gold.

‘And I of you,’ he said, kissing her hands. ‘Okay, I’m going to take a quick bath and then we can go to the Hewn city. Maybe I can get to kick someone’s ass there.’

* * *

The Court of Nightmares was certainly not a place of joy. Even though Mor’s father was thankfully out of the scene (long story), it was still run by a bunch of sadistic morons. Rhys and Mor’s cousin, a male named Conrad, took the reins and acted as the Steward. He had a bunch of misfit sons who did nothing but wreak havoc and torture innocents whenever Azriel’s spies turned their heads away, as well as throw languish parties and large-scale orgies. Rhys wasn’t particularly thrilled to fund their hedonistic lifestyle, but it was better than a civil war, and as long as they didn’t kill anyone they weren’t supposed to, they had no reasons to kill them.

The two of them accompanied by Feyre, Rhys and Azriel arrived just in time for one of those parties. They were honouring some forgotten god Nesta couldn’t remember or care about and closing a deal regarding some troops. Cassian was required to be here, unlike her — she was in just for the ride. Both Feyre and Rhys suggested that she should sit this one out, since she was heavily pregnant and more temperamental than ever, but Nesta wouldn’t hear any of it. She wanted to see some action.

‘My High Lord, High Lady, we welcome you to the Hewn city!’

Conrad appeared at the gates, bowing down before Feyre and Rhys, who had their business faces on. Nesta was sitting a few steps behind, with both Cassian and Azriel on her sides.

Her mate was super serious about keeping a close eye on her.

His instincts became worse as her pregnancy advanced. If at first he became wary whenever a strange male came too close to her, now he’d straight up growl in their face and shove them in the opposite direction. Sometimes he’d act out even when it was one of his brothers, which annoyed her to no end, but in such situations he knew which his enemies were.

After finishing with the pleasantries with Feyre and Rhys, Conrad moved to the three of them. He bowed again, smiling a what could pass as an innocent smile.

‘Ambassador Archeron, congratulations on your pregnancy. You and the Commander are extremely fortunate to have been blessed with twins.’

Nesta knew what Cassian was going to do, so he grabbed his hand and dug her nails hard enough in his skin that he winced.

‘Thank you, Conrad. We’re both excited to meet our girls.’

A rare display of diplomacy from Nesta — she only kept that side of her for important meetings, but it was better to act cordial than see Cassian decapitate this moron.

At that, Conrad’s smile faltered.

_Oh, no. Here we go._

‘Girls? Oh well, maybe the next one will be a boy,’ he laughed, then frowned when none of them joined him. ‘Strange, most Commanders like you, Cassian, wish for male heirs, not females. How can they follow in your footsteps?’

Well, Nesta tried, but at this point, this male was basically digging his own grave.

She expected Cassian to pull out his sword any moment now, and when she didn’t, she looked up at him to find him smiling in that vicious way of his that promised nothing but bloodshed.

‘You forget that we’re not all misogynistic bigots, Conrad. If any of them wishes to lead armies into battle one day, I’ll gladly show them how to properly wield a sword and gut their enemies. Maybe I’ll even let them practice on you. What do you say, sweetheart?’

Nesta grinned. ‘I can only pray that they won’t be squeamish.’

Next to them, Azriel coughed. ‘Maybe we should join the others, I’m sure that Lady Archeron here would like some refreshments.’

At that, Nesta’s mouth watered. ‘Ugh, I’m craving some chocolate pastries. Conrad, I hope you didn’t poison any of the food.’

They started making the way towards the main foyer, Conrad following them close behind. ‘I wouldn’t dream of it, my lady.’

Still, Cassian pulled out one of his daggers, twisting it between his fingers before pointing it at him.

‘Listen to me, Steward. I’m already in a piss poor mood and one wrong move will make me bury this in your neck. If anyone or anything disturbs my mate, you’re dead. You don’t come near her, touch her or say anything wrong to her. Hell, don’t even look at her.’

He saw the threat in Cassian’s eyes, so all he did was nod. Even Nesta felt a chill at the iciness in his voice, but calmed when he squeezed her hand, rubbing his thumb across her palm.

_All a front,_ she realised. _He’s worried someone will try to attack or threaten me._

She thought about that long and hard. Threatening a pregnant female was a serious offence in most of the courts, and almost no one, except those with a vendetta, dared to lay a hand on them. If the pregnant female also had a male partner, they usually became very cautious of the female’s safety, but if they had a mate… Somehow, that made things even more dangerous.

If someone harmed her right now, Cassian had the right to kill the perpetrator and no one would even blink an eye. She knew he wouldn’t hesitate to do it, and if someone actually threatened her, Nesta wouldn’t object.

They entered one of the grand ballrooms, which was packed with guests who had donned their finest, most revealing garments. Witchlights hung in mid-air, casting a soft glow across the room, and long tables were overflowing with food. The music momentarily stopped as everyone bowed to Feyre and Rhys, followed soon by their whispers. Some of them pointed at Nesta, muttering something about her having girls, which still baffled her — how could they be so narrow minded to think that either her or Cassian would be upset by the fact that they were having girls instead of boys? Will these people ever evolve?

Conrad joined Rhys for a toast while Feyre sneaked to her side. Seeing that his position had been occupied, Azriel joined his brother.

‘Cassian?’

‘Yes?’

‘You can also go talk to him, I’m just going to eat something.’

Cassian sighed. He predicted this.

‘Nesta, I am not letting you out of my sight, we talked about this.’

‘I am not leaving the room, you buffoon! I’m just going to sit right there—‘ she pointed to the chairs at the main table — ‘and eat! Feyre is going to sit with me!’

Feyre nodded immediately, moving closer to her. ‘I’m not leaving her side. Rhys needs you to talk about those accords, Cass. She’ll be fine.’

He looked torn between joining his brothers or staying with his mate. When she scoffed and pushed him towards them, Cassian finally relented.

‘Don’t go anywhere else without telling me,’ he said, taking out one of his daggers and pushing it in her hand. ‘Not even the bathroom.’

‘What if I really need to pee?’

‘Then I’ll come with you to pee! And don’t eat spicy food again or you’ll be sick all night.’

Nesta rolled her eyes and waved him goodbye. The two of them walked in tow towards the main table, the music slowly resuming. While most of them bowed, Nesta saw that they harboured no love for either of them; this was not Velaris. They were not welcomed here, and they probably never will be. To them, women in power were abominations, so they could never truly respect them.

‘Is he getting on your nerves yet?’ Feyre asked as she helped her sit down.

Nesta picked up a plate and started piling food on it. Even though she ate like three hours ago, she was famished already.

‘He’s trying hard not to, but I certainly don’t make it easy.’

As she bit into a soft pastry, Nesta caught Cassian’s eye across the room. They were talking with Conrad and some other official representatives of the Court of Nightmares, yet his attention was still focused on her. She winked while stuffing her face, which made him smile.

‘He’s helped me so much since we found out — not that he didn’t before, but now he barely lets me do anything without worrying that I’ll tire myself too much. His cooking skills also improved, which is a bonus.’

Feyre laughed while munching on some grapes. ‘Did he kill anyone yet?’

‘No, but he did snarl at my assistant a couple of days ago for handing me some paperwork. He scared the poor boy so much that he almost wet himself. I made him apologise, obviously.’

‘What about names? Did you pick any?’

‘No, we’re still arguing about that. Why aren’t you there with them? Shouldn’t you participate in political talks?’

Feyre looked at the group of men and scrunched her nose. ‘I’d rather let them handle this. I don’t have as much self-restraint as Rhys nor patience to deal with their troops. That’s more of Cassian’s field, anyway.’

‘I bet it’ll end in a fight before we leave.’

‘I was expecting that, anyway.’

The two of them chatted while the guests threw them shady glances here and there, although none dared to approach them. Dancers swayed and beckoned the rest to join them, and in a few minutes the whole ballroom became packed with dancing bodies. Cassian disappeared from Nesta’s sight, but she didn’t think too much about it. It was due to the crowded room.

‘I hate these gatherings,’ muttered Feyre. ‘I wish I was home in my own bed, not in this horrible place. Why did you even want to come?’

‘Trust me, staying home in your own bed gets extremely tiring after seven months of pregnancy. I feel like I’m losing my mind.’

‘Hello, ladies,’ said a voice Nesta didn’t recognise. ‘High Lady, Ambassador, it’s an honour to finally meet you.’

The man approaching their table was rather handsome, with long, pale hair and a roguish smile. His face was marred with scars, and his uniform indicated that he had a high rank in this court; he was surely one of Conrad’s sons.

Feyre put on her High Lady mask like a glove. ‘You must be Adrastos, Conrad’s eldest, am I correct?’

Adrastos — she heard about him. Horrible things.

‘Indeed, High Lady. Me and my brothers here,’ he gestured to a group of three men that were sitting close behind him, all looking rather joyful, ‘wanted to personally congratulate Ambassador Archeron here on her pregnancy. You must be extremely happy.’

Nesta acknowledged his words with a small smile. ‘I am. Thank you.’

‘And the father… It’s the Commander, am I right?’

‘He is my mate, after all.’

Adrastos smiled, daring to occupy the seat in front of her. His brothers, three males who shared his appearance, lingered just behind him, bearing the same arrogant smirks.

Feyre did not take that well. ‘Did I say you could sit?’

Oh, but Adrastos wasn’t even watching her. He was watching Nesta with a predatory gleam in his eyes, as if he could see into the depths of her soul. Instinctively, Nesta placed a hand on her bump, the movement hidden by the table that separated them.

‘I apologise, High Lady, but I have been looking forward to meeting your sister for quite a while now. We’ve all heard stories about her, you see. Dark, grim stories about a girl, a _human_ girl, who was turned into a Fae and gained malicious powers, close to those of Amren’s. Is that true?’

Nesta knew Feyre was about to send him spiralling into a wall, but she gripped her wrist under the table, making her frown in her direction.

‘It is,’ she said. ‘Do you want me to test them on you?’

Adrastos and his brothers laughed. She knew Feyre’s patience grew thinner and thinner by the second.

‘No, no, of course not. I was just surprised that someone of your stature with so many capabilities allowed herself to be sullied by none other than that bastard _Cassian_.’

Cold, dreadful silence replaced her chaotic thoughts. A shimmer of the power she hasn’t felt in months replenished her veins.

‘Be careful of what you say, Adrastos,’ warned Feyre in a deadly voice. ‘Cassian is also a brother of mine. I won’t hesitate to have your tongue for speaking like that about him.’

‘Why, though?’ he hit the table with his elbows, leaning his head on his open palms. ‘We all know him. He’s little more than a brute who lets his sword speak for himself. He can’t be fortunate either, since she gave Miss Archeron here girls instead of boys. Two as well!’

They laughed again, his brothers chirping in with more remarks and degrading slurs. Nesta counted in her head, giving them exactly twenty seconds before she’d unleash herself. Beside her, Feyre was also close to losing it, but Nesta’s hand on hers stopped her.

‘I mean, do we even know if he is the father?’ said one of the brothers.

‘No, trust me, Aillard, if it’s one thing that bastard can do, is fuck. That’s all Illyrians are good for, anyway. Brainless warriors.’

‘He broke my arm once as well. No wonder why no one around here likes him.’

‘Are you sure you don’t want to reconsider your options, Miss Archeron? Look at us, we could definitely be more suited to give you heirs. Male heirs.’

‘ _Worthy_ heirs.’

Less than ten seconds.

‘The girls would also be part Illyrian, right?’ asked Adrastos. ‘Will he also clip their wings, like they do back in the camps?’

‘If so,’ continued another, ‘we’d be willing to hold them down. We’d love to, actually.’

Five seconds.

‘Or if you want to be rid of them, we can also help with that.’

‘Oh, the things we could do to them…’

Her control snapped.

Nesta rarely used her power since she got pregnant. Madja didn’t particularly say not to, but she was afraid that it would tire her out too much, so she used it on little things, like making small objects move, helping flowers bloom or, occasionally, whenever she was in a mood, wilting them.

So now, while this nobody, this scum, this _vermin_ stood there laughing and mocking her mate and threatening her unborn daughters set her off.

Nesta picked the nearest knife and threw it in the male that said the last sentence, aiming for his throat. As soon as it found its mark and blood started spluttering out, all laughter ceased.

‘Nesta,’ Feyre warned, but it was all too late.

She stood up, leaned across the table and caught Adrastos by his collar, bringing him close to her face while the others tried helping his brother.

‘You insult me, that’s fine,’ she seethed, ‘but no one insults my mate like that and no one threatens my children. Especially not someone like you, who is worth absolutely nothing. You could die right now and no one would even miss you.’

Finally, all his amusement faded, replaced by anger.

‘I just killed your brother. Do you want to be next?’

She threw him back in the chair, and before he could attempt to stand up, Nesta used her powers to keep him incapacitated. Lying on the floor and surrounded by a pool of blood, the male was gurgling and choking while his brothers kept trying to cover the wound, to stop the bleeding, but to no avail. When he finally died, all the males turned towards her.

‘Stand down,’ warned Feyre, ‘or you will all die. This is an order.’

‘We don’t take orders from whores,’ one of the males sneered, hands covered in his brother’s blood.

The music finally died out as dancers and guests alike realised what was going on. Slowly, a semi-circle formed around them, and Nesta wondered where the hell was Cassian. He wouldn’t want to miss this spectacle.

When that male dropped to the ground, Nesta knew that it was Feyre’s work. She’d turned his brain into liquid.

‘Anything else you’d like to add?’

Adrastos roared so loud that Nesta was momentarily taken aback, her focus vanishing as she took a step back. Feyre stepped in front of her, but his remaining brother made a bold move and dived for them. Before either of them could block his attack, the male threw a thin powder in their faces, so thin that they inhaled it immediately.

Feyre inhaled a better part of it and started coughing immediately. When she bowed and gripped the edge of the table, she knew what that powder did.

It took away their powers for a limited time.

They were helpless.

The second she started coughing, Nesta began to panic, finally realising the danger she was in.

_‘You fucking whores!’_ gritted out Adrastos, finally standing up. ‘We should just slit your throats right here and now. You killed my brothers!’

Nesta’s back hit the wall as she coughed and coughed, arms cradling her bump. She felt how the powder number her powers, which enraged her more than anything. She was utterly and completely defenceless before these males — she couldn’t protect herself.

_Cassian, where the fuck are you?_ she attempted to tug on their bond, but her mind was so foggy that she couldn’t even find it, less alone concentrate on it.

‘You— You will die if you hurt her,’ coughed Feyre, kneeling next to the table.

Adrastos inched closer to her, gripping her shoulder hard enough that she was sure it was going to bruise. ‘Look at me!’

When she felt the tip of his dagger pointed to her belly, Nesta had no choice but to obey. From the corner of her eye she saw Feyre attempt to stand up and help her, but his other brother kicked her.

No one intervened. No one said a word. The crowd got bigger and bigger, all of them watching in fascination as they threatened the two of them.

_I should’ve stayed the fuck home,_ she told herself as she coughed again.

‘Not so brave now, eh?’

He looked mad. There was a crazy gleam in his eyes, and his hand was slightly shaking on that dagger he kept pointed towards her belly. Nesta didn’t dare make any sudden moves, because she knew he wouldn’t hesitate to stab her. This was a man that didn’t care about consequences, obviously — why else pick a fight with her and the High Lady?

‘I-I’m just waiting,’ she said between coughs.

‘Waiting for death?’

At that, Nesta grinned. ‘Something worse than death.’

Adrastos opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He seemed frozen in place — even his shaking stopped. When she looked at his eyes and saw how panicked he was, Nesta realised who was the author of this.

Rhys.

‘Adrastos?’ asked his brother, finally letting go of Feyre. ‘What’s wrong?’

When he got pulled by the back of his shirt and thrown over the table, Nesta finally allowed herself to breathe. She slid to the floor, inhaling as much oxygen as her lungs allowed her.

‘Nesta, look at me,’ a familiar voice said. ‘Are you alright? Did he hurt you? Are you wounded?’

Cassian kneeled in front of her, catching her face in his palms to examine it. She quickly shook her head when he saw the utter terror on his face — he patted her whole body, searching for injuries, looking for blood, even though she repeatedly told him that she was fine.

‘I’m fine, I’m fine,’ she said as she allowed him to hoist her back up. ‘I’m fine. The babies are fine, Cassian. Nothing bad happened, I promise.’

She never saw him like this. His whole body was shielding her from the view of the world, and his heart was beating so fast that she was surprised it didn’t burst out of his chest. When she caught his hand and placed it on her belly right when one of the twins kicked, a sign that they were perfectly fine, Cassian finally exhaled.

‘We’re all fine.’

Behind him, Nesta saw Rhys helping Feyre up, looking just as murderous as his brothers. He was the one that winnowed in and pulled Adrastos from her, she knew. She recognised his magic. Azriel appeared right when the other brother attempted to run away, punching him so hard that he ended up on the floor.

Adrastos managed to stand up, sneering at them.

_‘I am going to kill that fucking bitch of yours, bastard!’_

Cassian’s worry was replaced by another thing she rarely saw — bloodlust. Pure and raging, so frightening that the whole room seemed to vibrate with it. Cassian’s syphons glowed brighter and brighter as he turned around and faced the males who threatened his pregnant mate.

‘Once I am done with you,’ he said in a deadly voice, ‘there won’t even be enough of you left for your father to bury.’

Realising the situation he’s gotten himself into, Adrastos took a step back. His brother scrambled to his feet, joining him. Even the crowd backed away.

‘I didn’t—‘

He didn’t get the chance to finish that sentence, because Cassian unleashed himself upon him. The whole room became a carnage as her mate slaughtered in such hideous ways that even she had to avert her gaze.

‘Give me your hand, I’m taking you two home right now.’

Rhys appeared in front of her, supporting Feyre who looked like she was going to vomit.

‘Will he—‘

‘He told me to get you out of here. It’s okay, you don’t need to see this. I’m pretty sure he’s going to take his sweet time anyway. Let’s go.’

The last thing Nesta saw before taking Rhysand’s hand was her mate drenched in blood and running his sword through Adrastos’ abdomen until he hit the hilt, hoisting him up in the air like he was a sack of grain, then throwing him to the ground before moving to his cowering brother.


	4. Chapter 4

‘Are you sure you’re fine?’

‘Yes, Cass, I’m perfectly fine. Just like Madja said, along with the rest of twenty healers you brought on my head. You’re exaggerating!’

‘Exaggerating? You almost died!’

‘Don’t be ridiculous, he wouldn’t have killed me. He just threatened me a little.’

Nesta made sure to not tell him all the details of what Adrastos and his brothers said because then he’d probably find a way to bring them back to life just to murder them again.

He finally deflated, sitting on the edge of the bed. His hair was still wet at the ends from the shower she’d made him take once he got back, even though he almost snapped at her when she refused to see more healers. Rhys winnowed in an army of them, and they all assured both Nesta and Cassian that she and the babies were stable and unharmed.

That happened hours ago. Madja also took care of Feyre, who was still dizzy after inhaling that powder but was starting to get back her strength. Rhys took her home after that and Azriel lingered until Cassian assured him that they were going to be fine and that he and Amren should go back to the Hewn city to do some damage control.

It turned into a bloodbath after they left. Turns out that the three of them had been lured away to Conrad’s office to sign some documents while his sons threatened and belittled them, which was enough of a reason for Cassian to kill all of them and any other accomplices. When they winnowed here and Madja came at once to check on them, Nesta asked Rhys why he didn’t stay behind to help Cassian, since they also hurt Feyre.

‘Even though I would’ve loved nothing more than to do it, his anger is worse than mine. You’re pregnant, Nesta. Stopping him would’ve been madness. Why do you think there are no laws that protect criminals like Adrastos? Once you hurt a pregnant female, their partner goes mad with fury. He needs to get it out of his system before coming back here.’

While Madja had checked on Nesta, she watched the way Rhys stood beside her sister, holding her hand while she reassured him that she’d survive. She saw that he was all tense and angry, but despite Cassian, Rhys could keep himself composed for Feyre’s sake.

Cassian couldn’t.

Which is why even after hours, he still wouldn’t shut the hell up and let her eat her cheese sticks in peace.

‘And even your powers are back? Truly?’

She sighed, setting her plate on her belly. She used it for that sometimes.

‘Yes, they’re back and locked away until further notice. What about you?’

‘What about me?’

‘Are you okay?’

He frowned as if the question was absurd. ‘Why wouldn’t I be fine? I wasn’t the one who was threatened or drugged.’

She put the plate away and somehow managed to drag herself close enough to Cassian to kiss his shoulder. ‘I know, but you were still scared. I’m sorry for insisting to go there, I didn’t think that would happen.’

Cassian gazed down at her, a small smile finally appearing on his face. There he was — the mate she dearly loved.

‘Wow, an apology coming from you. That’s pretty big.’

Intertwining their fingers, Nesta kissed his neck.

‘I know. I’m sorry for worrying you.’

‘I should be the one apologising, I shouldn’t have left your side.’

‘I insisted that you leave, Cass, this wasn’t your fault at all.’

He turned around so he could cup her cheek and lean his forehead on hers, something he did whenever he wanted to soften her heart instantly. It worked every time.

‘I’m still sorry,’ he whispered, rubbing her cheek.

‘You can always make it up to me,’ she wiggled her brows suggestively, which finally made him laugh.

‘Not like _that,_ you witch. How about a bath? Your favourite food? Books? Chocolate?’

She shook her head, circling his neck with her arms and pulling him down the bed. His wrapped around her almost instinctively, though it was always a bit complicated with her ginormous bump.

‘Just hold me for a bit.’

With a hand he removed the hair from her eyes, staring lovingly at her. Even after years of being together and that look never ceased to make her heart stop just for a second.

There was so much love in that look, it was almost overwhelming. And it was all directed towards her.

How lucky she was.

‘I’ll hold you forever, my love.’

* * *

‘Like this?’

‘No, a little bit more to the left — wait, no, that’s too much left, more to the right. Cassian, it’s not that complicated, they have to be symmetrical!’

Cassian huffed, taking a step back from the crib to look at them. ‘Nesta, they’re literally in the same position. They won’t even care how close their cribs are!’

She attempted to stand up from the armchair, but decided not to when it became too much of an effort. ‘They are not. They’re not aligned! Just look at them!’

‘I am!’

‘Look at them better!’

He covered his face with both hands and groaned. ‘You are killing me!’

‘Oh, shut up, I am simply asking for perfection. It’s not that complicated.’

Cassian gave up and set on the floor, leaning on the white crib. It was barely noon and somehow Nesta already managed to wear him down with all the organising and moving the furniture around the nursery. First, they organised their wardrobe by colour, thickness and size, then the bottles, pacifiers, shoes, hats, diapers, powders and whatnot. Even Nesta was getting tired of seeing so many baby things and it wasn’t even the beginning. Then Cassian assembled a _second_ bookcase which Nesta ordered a few days ago behind his back (he wasn’t too happy about that), which she filled with more baby books and toys. They wouldn’t even get to use most of them until they were much older, except the colouring books, but they still made the room look more cozy. Now Nesta was sure that the furniture needed to be moved in a different position, but when she changed her mind and wanted them back the way they were, Cassian threatened to un-mate her.

‘Don’t you have training today?’ she asked while scooping another spoon of ice cream.

He shook his head, running a hand through his messy hair. ‘I asked Azriel to take over this morning, I knew you’d have more unreasonable requests and keep me home until noon.’

She grinned. He scowled.

‘Don’t look so cheerful, we still have to go and have dinner with the rest. Mor is finally introducing us to her girlfriend, after months of convincing on our part.’

That piqued her interest. ‘Mor finally agreed to let us meet Roslyn? Poor girl, she doesn’t know what she’s in for.’

Cassian laughed, picking up a stuffed water nymph and squishing it. ‘Why do you think it took Mor so long to let us meet her? She warned us that Roslyn’s shy, so she’s probably terrified to meet the rulers and their entire family of nut jobs.’

‘Except me.’

‘ _Especially_ you.’

Nesta pointed her ice-cream-covered spoon at him. ‘I am the most grounded person in this entire city, Cassian. Just because I’ve been a bit off my game lately doesn’t mean I’ve turned into a barbarian like the rest of you.’

Cassian threw that stuffed nymph at her, which managed to knock off her spoon.

‘You don’t complain about that whenever you want it rough, sweetheart.’

‘I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.’

‘Really? Shall I bring out all the ropes and cuffs to prove you wrong?’

‘Only if you’re going to use them,’ she said with a cheeky grin.

Groaning, Cassian stood up and offered her a hand. It became a struggle to do the most basic things these days, which completely threw her off her game — she felt like she was going to explode any day now.

‘If I can resist not having sex, then so can you.’

‘I’m the hormonal one, though. My body is _craving_ sex right now.’

‘Too bad, you’re not getting any.’

‘I just want to— _Ouch,_ you devils,’ she winced when one of the babies kicked her. Repeatedly. ‘I swear they’re hosting fights in there.’

Cassian pressed his hand on her belly, a smile spreading across his face when he felt the kick. ‘They obviously take after me. I’m already so proud.’

Nesta elbowed him. ‘We discussed this, you are not giving them weapons until they turn twenty!’

‘I only agreed to that just to make you stop talking. They’re half Illyrians, of course they’ll have weapons before they turn twenty!’

Her fury returned in an instant, but before she could say anything else, Cassian made for the door.

‘I’m going out to get your order from the bakery, try not to burn the house down while I’m gone. I’ll be back in twenty, love you!’

Sighing, Nesta sat back down and picked up her ice cream bowl, realising after a second that the spoon was on the floor.

‘Wait, come pick up this spoon, I can’t—‘

The front door shut before she could finish her sentence.

‘I hate your dad sometimes,’ she said to her belly, right before one of them kicked again. ‘You’re not even out and you’re already playing favourites? This is going to be fun.’

* * *

They hosted the dinner at Rhys and Feyre’s townhouse, even though the initial choice was the House of Wind, but they changed their minds because:

  1. It was too imposing and official for a family dinner party with a girl that was probably terrified and
  2. Flying Nesta all the way up there became quite difficult for Cassian, even though he wouldn’t admit, but after the last time when he kept panting for half an hour after, Nesta refused to set foot there until after the birth.



Winnowing was also not recommended in the last few weeks of her pregnancy, so they decided to stay put for the time being. As they made their way towards the townhouse, hand in hand, Cassian and Nesta made bets on how this dinner was going to turn out.

‘Ten gold pieces that Amren will freak her out within the hour,’ he proposed.

‘An hour? That’s Amren we’re talking about, give her twenty minutes and the girl with run away screaming.’

‘That if Azriel’s not spooking her with his silence.’

Nesta laughed. ‘I bet Rhys will try to act all sophisticated and will accidentally knock a glass of wine over her. It happened before.’

‘Rhys is so excited to meet her that I’m pretty sure he already wrote down Mor’s dowry and will offer her hand in marriage. Probably threw in a couple of estates as well, just to convince her.’

‘Last time he was complaining about wasting money on things they don’t need, and now he’s selling his cousin?’

‘Says a lot about what it’s like to live with Mor,’ Cassian laughed.

When they got there, the house was a mess. Feyre was fighting with Rhys over which was the best tablecloth, Azriel was trying to convince Amren to help him set the plates, which she ‘accidentally’ kept dropping on the floor, and Elain was busting her ass trying to unpack all of the food they ordered from their favourite restaurant. Neither of them were excellent cooks, so better to be safe than sorry.

Also, they didn’t even notice them walk in until Feyre stopped screaming at Rhys just to shove her tablecloth in their faces. ‘Isn’t the red one better? Tell me it’s better than the purple one Rhys wants to use!’

On the other side of the room, Rhys threw his head back and sighed dramatically.

‘That red tablecloth is too festive, the purple one is more sophisticated!’

Nesta tried hard not to laugh. Cassian snickered.

Feyre whipper her head towards her mate, looking bewildered. ‘This is a festive occasion! You just want the purple one because it goes with your eyes!’

Faced with the truth, Rhys was momentarily speechless, making Cassian burst out laughing.

‘I want to make a good impression!’

‘We’re using the red one,’ decided Feyre, setting it over the table.

‘Oh, good, you’re here!’ exclaimed Elain, emerging from the kitchen. ‘Cassian, come try the stuffing and tell me if it’s spicy enough!’

That was enough to tear her mate from her side. Cassian was always Elain’s subject when it came to tasting the food, mostly because she loved how enthusiastic he was about it and always willing to eat more. Plus, Cassian was too nice to even tell her sister if the food was too salty, so of course she liked him.

‘Hello, witch. Do you plan on getting fatter than this? You look like you’re about to explode any second now.’

Nesta turned to find Amren walking down the stairs, carrying what looked like an ancient tome. Her dark, short hair was pulled back in a bun, revealing her pointy, bejewelled ears. She even wore formal (still black) clothes, which was certainly an effort coming from her.

‘Imagine how I feel,’ she said, taking a seat at the table. ‘They won’t stop kicking and pushing. I bet they’re fighting for food and space.’

Amren sat down next to her, dropping the book on the table with a loud thud. Feyre glared at her but didn’t say anything, going back to arguing with Rhys about napkins. Freaking _napkins_.

‘When are you due?’

‘Couple of weeks. Why, you want a front row seat?’ she grinned at her disgusted face.

‘Nesta, in all my long existence I have witnessed one birth and it was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen, so excuse me if I’m going to visit you after you’re all clean and smell nice.’

‘That’s too bad, I was hoping you’d be there to tell me when the heads come out.’

‘Please don’t make me gag. That’s vile.’

Nesta kept on annoying Amren until she threatened to never talk to her again and opened the tome to show her an ancient spell she was interested in. While they discussed it, Azriel perked in with further information while setting the table. Feyre and Rhys finally decided on what napkins to use and brought down a vase with fresh peonies and dahlias straight from Elain’s garden.

‘Why are you all so nervous about this? It’s going to be fine, you’re acting like she’s going to care about the tablecloth or if we’re using the fancy china.’

At that, Feyre cast Nesta an icy look. ‘You think I don’t know that? Mor has been drilling us all day about what we can and cannot say, which made us all anxious. What if we say the wrong thing and scare her away?’

‘Aren’t they serious about each other though?’

‘Oh, they are, but the poor girl didn’t sign up for a crazy family as well,’ muttered Amren, flipping through the pages. ‘Feyre, listen to me. If it’s anyone you should worry about, it’s either your mate or Cassian. Probably Cassian.’

At that, Nesta nodded. Feyre’s eyes went wide and she ran to the kitchen, no doubt drilling Cassian on table manners and small talk, earning a very loud groan from him.

Twenty minutes passed and when the front door open, everyone in the room held their breaths, including Nesta.

‘Quick, act like you’re in the middle of something!’ said Feyre, gesturing with her hands towards absolutely nothing in particular.

Nesta and Amren returned their attention to the tome, Cassian kept eating the samples Elain gave him while talking with her and Azriel and Feyre faked laughed at something Rhys said that even he cringed.

‘Hello, everyone! Wow, it smells so nice in here, I’m famished.’

Mor walked in the dining room hand in hand with a girl — with Roslyn, which had an uncertain smile plastered on her flaming red face.

Roslyn was certainly beautiful, with her fiery red hair which hung in short curls, barely grazing her shoulders. Her blushing face was splattered with freckles and her wide, yellow eyes analysed everything and everyone in the room in just a couple of seconds. She was smaller than Mor, but had a certain poise despite her timid behaviour; this was a woman with an attitude, when the situation required one. She kept wiping her palms on her blue, billowy dress, not knowing where to look first.

‘Hello,’ she said, then even attempted to do a curtsy, but didn’t have the time to — Feyre practically pulled her into a suffocating hug.

‘Please, there’s no need for that nonsense. I’m Feyre, it’s so nice to finally meet you!’

‘You too,’ she replied, hugging her back while giving Mor a terrified look. She gave her the thumbs up as each of them introduced themselves to her. When it was her turn, Roslyn gave Nesta what seemed like a genuine smile.

‘Congratulations on your twins,’ she said, looking at her belly with amazement.

‘Thank you,’ replied Nesta with a smile. ‘Shouldn’t be long now, I can’t wait to not feel like I’m about to explode.’

‘Oh, I brought you this,’ she opened her satchel and pulled out a pink box, extending it to her. ‘You’ve been ordering eclairs and beignets from my bakery for the past week now, so I thought I’d bring you some tonight. I baked them a couple of hours ago, so they’re fresh.’

Nesta could honestly cry.

She accepted the box with a huge grin, already salivating at the divine smell. ‘You’re the one who makes the most delicious pastries I’ve ever tasted? Gods, these are divine, thank you.’ Then, she turned to Mor and gave her a look. ‘You better marry this girl, I want free access to her bakery for the rest of our lives.’

While they carried on with the introductions, Nesta sneaked in the kitchen and devoured the sweet eclairs and beignets, slapping Cassian’s hand away whenever he tried to steal one.

She already loved that girl.

* * *

‘So, Roslyn, did you grew up in Velaris?’ asked Cassian, barely noticing how Mor was slowly shaking her head in his direction.

Even she knew that it was a subject they were not supposed to broach, so silence settled in the room. Confused, Cassian looked around him, not understanding why everyone was glaring at him.

‘Did I say something wrong?’

Nesta stopped herself from eating long enough to jab him in the ribs.

‘No, it’s fine,’ Roslyn assured him with a small smile. ‘I’m actually from the Hewn city. I grew up as a servant there. I ran away years ago and received safe passage here.’

She said servant, but Nesta knew what being a servant there meant.

‘I’m sorry,’ said Cassian, finally understanding why everyone was glaring at him. ‘I… I had no idea. I’m really glad that you managed to get out of that horrible place.’

Her smile didn’t falter one bit, which Nesta found impressive.

‘Me too,’ she whispered, nodding towards Cassian.

Her hand found his under the table and squeezed it, knowing that he was already feeling guilty. Especially since Mor was looking like she was about to murder him, even though Rhys managed to tactfully change the subjects towards something more light.

‘How did you two meet?’

At that, even Mor’s demeanour softened. She looked at Roslyn and chuckled. ‘At the market. She threw a cupcake at me.’

Rosyn scoffed. ‘I didn’t _throw it_ at you, I accidentally dropped it on your dress. It’s different.’

‘Mhm,’ she grinned. ‘Then she knocked over three trays while trying to get me a napkin.’

‘I thought you’d be pissed because I destroyed your fancy dress! Who even comes to the market in a banquet dress?’

‘Mor,’ said everyone at once.

From there on, the dinner went smoothly. Slowly, Roslyn managed to engage into conversation with everyone, even laughing at the crass jokes Cassian made. She talked to Elain about baking and gardening, to Feyre about the people they both knew, which also intrigued Azriel, since he was all about gossip (he called it work, Nesta had a different opinion) and with Rhys about embarrassing things about Mor. He would not stop telling her unfortunate events from their childhood which certainly put poor Mor in a bad light, but Feyre snatched her away from the table to show her something in the kitchen. Nesta believed that it was his idea so he could embarrass Mor.

‘Oh, and this time she actually accepted a dare and put her head in a toilet while I flushed it. Our nannies were _furious_.’

While they laughed and bonded over that, Nesta retreated to a corner with Amren, talking about magic and grim stuff — their favourite topic.

‘Are you two plotting someone’s demise? Should I be worried?’

Nesta looked up at Cassian, who appeared behind her armchair and pressed a kiss into her hair.

‘Your demise, actually,’ said Amren, ‘since you’ve been slacking off on your duties. Where’s that report about the Illyrian camps I asked for two weeks ago?’

Nesta bit back a laugh while Cassian had the audacity to look shocked.

‘I thought you asked Azriel for that!’

‘No, you moron, Azriel has to give be a report about the _rebel_ Illyrian camps. There’s a difference!’

‘I know there’s a difference! It’s not my fault that I have to channel all of my energy on my _pregnant_ mate instead of writing papers about boring crap!’

‘Don’t bring me into your mess, even I told you to write that damn report.’

Cassian drew back his hands from her shoulders. ‘You traitor, you’re supposed to have my back!’

‘Not when you’re blaming me!’

Seeing that she started an argument between them, Amren left with a huge grin plastered on her face, ignoring the glares from Rhys and Azriel.

At least the dinner with Roslyn went well, but if Cassian wouldn’t shut up in the next couple of minutes, Nesta had a feeling that there would be bloodshed before dessert.

* * *

‘What about birth? Are you sure you want to deliver at the healers’ building?’

‘It’s safer this way. Plus, I don’t want to give birth in our bed, it will completely ruin our sex life.’

Cassian laughed as he peeled her another orange. Probably the fifth in the last twenty minutes.

‘Why do I get the feeling that you’re more preoccupied about our sex life than I am?’ he asked, handing her the peeled orange.

‘Because I haven’t had sex in more than a month.’

‘Me neither, a fact you somehow always forget or brush off.’

‘Ugh, it’s not the same,’ she whined, digging her fingers in the soft orange and pulling it apart. ‘Your hormones aren’t killing you. Also, are you sure about you being in the room when I give birth? You know you don’t have to.’

Cassian scoffed, dragging himself closer to her and resting his head on her lap. It was past midnight and they were lounging in their bed, talking about random things, just as they always did — but now most of their conversations lead to birthing and plans and reorganising their schedules. Nesta knew that Cassian liked to play by the ear, but for her sake, he actually sat down and talked to her about fixing sleeping schedules and how it was going to affect their work schedules as well — which was a pointless subject, since none of them was going back anytime soon. Not until they slept through the night, at least.

‘Of course I am going to be in the room, idiot. You’re not keeping me away while you give birth. I want to be in the room, by your side, having my hand absolutely crushed while our daughters are born. Why are you even asking me that, anyway? You know I want to be there.’

‘I know, but men never stay in the room while their wives or lovers give birth. I think they can’t take the screaming or all the blood and liquid…’ she trailed off after seeing Cassian’s raised eyebrows, ‘which might be a dumb reason when it comes to you, since you’ve seen more blood and heard enough screams of pain for a lifetime.’

‘See? You figured it all out by yourself.’

They weren’t far from the due date now — less than a month. Madja said that it could happen early, since that was the case with twins, but there was no way to be sure, so they had to be prepared for anything. Cassian wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about taking her to the healers’ building once her water broke, saying that it might be too hard on her body, but they both agreed when they realised that they had more help there. Numerous healers with different powers and capabilities, just in case anything went south.

It was also hard on her. She was tired all the time, peed every twenty minutes, ate more than ever and couldn’t even put on her damn shoes. Cassian always helped her, of course, but she felt bad to ask for his help for the most trivial things.

‘I’m also scared,’ she said as a matter of fact, still eating that orange.

Cassian shifted his body, leaning on his elbows. ‘About giving birth?’

‘No, I’m not worried about the pain, it’s just…’ sighing, she put what remained of the orange on the plate next to her. ‘what if I’m not ready? I’ve read all those books and sat through long discussions with healers and listened to advice from other mothers and prepared everything but what if it’s still not enough? What if I won’t be a good mother?’

‘Why would you even think that?’

She shrugged, averting her gaze. ‘Mine wasn’t the most nurturing, but I don’t want to be like her. I want to be the opposite of that. I’m afraid that my temper will get the best of me sometimes or that I won’t be warm or loving enough. What if I can’t get to stop crying or keep them clean all the time and what if they fight and hate each other?’

‘Love, I think all mothers have those fears, but you’re wrong. You’re more warm and loving than you think, and I’m telling you that as the person who receives most of it. And you’re nurturing with your sisters, even though you fight quite often.’

He pulled her hand and kissed it, giving her the same look of love and adoration that made Nesta fall for him.

‘You’re not going to fail, because you’re an incredible woman, Nesta, and I’ll be there with you every step of the way. You think I’m not scared as well?’

She wiped a tear, chuckling. ‘What do you have to be afraid of? You’re already handling this better than I am. I’m not even worried about your abilities, which says a lot about my confidence in you.’

‘Bitch,’ he laughed, still holding her hand. ‘You know I never met my father. And you know my mother did everything she could to take care of me and protect me, which was what killed her in the end. I don’t really know much about being a father except from what I’ve read in all those books you gave me, and I hope I won’t fail them or you, but I know for certain that no matter what, I’d never walk out on you. I want to be there and I want to be good at it as well.’

As always, his words, confidence and resilience whisked her worries away bit by bit. Their family always considered that Nesta was the one that grounded Cassian, but in reality, it was the other way around — it was her mind that took off most of the time, and it was hard to cope with her feelings, thoughts, fears. Even magic, the world. Cassian always helped her through the roughest patches, and for that, Nesta was eternally grateful.

‘You already are,’ she whispered, grinning like a fool. ‘And I love you even more for that.’

Mirroring her expression, Cassian pulled her into a lingering kiss. ‘I love you too, sweetheart.’


	5. Chapter 5

‘Wait, you still haven’t decided on names?’ Mor gasped, almost dropping her tea cup. ‘That’s outrageous!’

‘I know!’ agreed Elain. ‘I keep coming up with numerous names, but Nesta hates them!’

‘That’s because no one wants to name their daughter Hyacinth or Marigold, Elain. Or worse, Petunia. Do you want my kids to be bullied?’

Feyre snickered. ‘What about Cassian? Did he come up with any innovative names?’

‘Ugh, don’t even get me started on that. He suggested Seethe after a famous sword, Cormac after a famous warrior, Frost, Storm, Belladonna, Zelda, Desdemona, Vesperina, Ambrosina, Emerentiana — just imagine a toddler attempting to pronounce these names, less alone write them. And he’s under the impression that they’re very ‘pompous’, but I had to break it to him that it’s just going ruin their social lives.’

‘Desde—‘ Mor furrowed her brows, casting a glance at the other girls. ‘Where did he even come up with those names?’

‘Your guess is as good as mine,’ she replied.

Watching the sun set on the rooftop of Feyre’s townhouse and drinking (bland) tea with her sisters, Mor and Amren became a regular thing in the past few weeks. Mostly because Nesta desperately needed entertainment and they managed to make her laugh each time with ridiculous stories, Mor’s were her favourite, especially since she loved making fun of the boys when they were young, since that’s what Rhys did with Rosyn. Nesta guess she hasn't forgiven him yet.

‘Where is Cassian, anyway?’ asked Elain.

‘With Rhys and Azriel up there,’ she gestured toward the House of Wind.

‘Talking business or getting wasted,’ added Feyre.

‘Definitely getting wasted,’ muttered Amren.

‘How are things with Roslyn?’ she asked Mor, whose face morphed completely.

Every time someone brought up Roslyn, Mor’s usually exuberant personality multiplied by a hundred. They were still together, obviously, but Nesta didn’t realise how serious they were about each other. She would talk and talk about her girlfriend for hours if they let her, which they usually did, because it was endearing to finally see love on her face. She deserved it more than anyone among them.

‘Wait, when did you—‘ Nesta stopped mid-sentence, wincing at what she thought was another false labour contraction. ‘Damn.’

‘Are you okay? Did your water break?’

‘Is it happening? Oh my Gods, should we—‘

‘No, no,’ she shook her had, steadying herself. ‘Just a false… _Fucking hell!’_

Nesta bowed when another contraction hit her, making her whole body tremble in pain. No, this wasn’t one of the usual false alarms — they were never this painful. The girls were now surrounding her, hands on her shoulders, asking what they should do, where to take her, who to call first.

While they argued about that, Nesta looked under her and froze.

‘My water just broke,’ she whispered with dread, sending them all into a frenzy.

* * *

‘Where is he?! Where is that fucking idiot, I am giving birth and _he is not here!’_

‘Nesta, calm down, breathe, Feyre just left a second ago! He’ll be here!’ Elain reassured her, clasping her hand tight while the midwives took off her pants and put on a clean, paper-thin cloth over her legs, which were drenched in amniotic fluid already.

Mor was holding her other free hand, trying her best to encourage her to breathe and not burst a vein from screaming and cursing. Amren was sitting in the far-right corner next to the window, watching the sky for her stupid mate.

‘Okay Nesta, you’re not dilated enough so don’t push yet,’ said Madja, her main midwife. ‘It’s not the time yet.’

Panting and feeling like her whole body was about to be torn apart, Nesta gritted her teeth and dug her nails in Elain’s hand, making her yelp.

‘Then what the fuck am I supposed to do?! Everything fucking hurts, do something!’

‘Please give her something, I feel like my bones are being crushed!’ yelled Mor, her smile finally disappearing.

At least five midwives were in the rooms, some burning medicinal sages, others making her drink disgusting concoctions to numb her pain. Madja was seated on a small stool right between her spread legs, reassuring her that everything was normal and it wouldn’t be long now.

‘This is what I get for enjoying sex,’ she moaned, sweating like crazy.

‘It’s okay darling, this isn’t even the worst part yet. Save your strength for when you need to push.’

That made her eyes widen and squeeze both Elain and Mor’s hands tighter.

‘What do you mean ‘it’s not the worst part yet’? It gets worse than this?!”

Before Madja had a chance to reply, the door burst open and Cassian ran towards her side. Elain immediately let go of her hand and made room for her mate, who looked like he was about to faint.

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I came as soon as I could, how are you feeling? How is she feeling?’

‘She’s fine, cursing and threatening everyone. Nothing unusual,’ said Madja.

‘You are so fucking dead,’ she told Cassian, who picked up her hand and gave it a squeeze.

‘I’m so sorry, we were signing a deal with the Illyrian camps, I didn’t know you’d go into labour in the two hours I’d be away!’

‘Shut up!’ she screamed, squeezing his hand as hard as she could when another contraction hit her.

This was hell. Worse than hell. She was going to die on this fucking table and there was nothing she could do about it.

While everyone in the room tried their best to encourage and soothe her, Nesta panted and screamed and yelled at whoever annoyed her. Madja kept telling her not to push yet, that she wasn’t dilated enough, while Cassian wouldn’t stop telling her that she was doing an amazing job and that it would be over soon.

Judging by the clock on the wall, her water broke an hour ago; Nesta made Feyre winnow her here, in the healers’ building, after which she left to get Cassian. As soon as the healers saw Nesta they rushed her into the birthing room and put her on the bed, constantly checking on her.

Her contractions were getting worse as the minutes flew. She knew that the more frequent they were, the closer she was to actually giving birth. Cassian never once complained about how hard she was squeezing his hand, although she saw him wince once, which was saying a lot.

‘Not long now,’ said Madja, checking again. ‘Just try to relax, honey. Don’t overwork yourself. Breathe.’

‘Relax? _You think I can relax?!’_ she half-screamed at Madja, contemplating hitting her with her foot, but decided against it. No matter how loud she screamed, this woman didn’t even blink an eye at her profanities.

‘Nesta, sweetheart, listen to me,’ Cassian tried to reason with her for the twelfth time now. ‘you got this, okay? You can do this, I know you can. You’re the strongest person I know, so you have to do this. Think about the girls and that you’ll get to hold them in a little bit. They’ll be here and this will all be over, but you have to bear through the pain.’

Gasping, she gripped his hand tighter. Mor squealed to her right.

‘It’s not that easy,’ she managed to say.

‘I know, I know, I wish I could take that pain away. If I could trade places with you, I really would.’

‘Please, you wouldn’t resist ten minutes in labour,’ scoffed Mor.

Cassian glared at her while pressing a cold cloth on Nesta’s forehead.

When Feyre walked in, she was all smiles, until she saw the state Nesta was in. ‘Oh, Cauldron boil me,’ she whispered, wincing when Nesta swore at another healer who made her drink something absolutely disgusting. ’Mor, trade places with me, your hand is turning purple.’

Mor thankfully did so. Feyre tried to talk to her, even letting in cold breezes to cool her, while Amren stood in a corner and looked sick.

‘Rhys is in the hallway,’ she rambled on. ‘He really wants to come in and see the miracle happen, but I told him you’d likely throw something in his face.’

‘Good call,’ she gritted out.

‘Okay, Nesta, I’ll tell you to push in a bit, okay? The hard part comes now, so remember what we talked about — breathe in through your nose, out your mouth. Pace yourself. Don’t focus on the pain, focus on your babies. An hour of pain is nothing compared to a lifetime with them.’

She nodded while Cassian wiped her tears away, looking more scared than ever. That made her smile a bit.

‘You look terrified.’

‘I am terrified,’ he admitted, smoothening out her sweaty hair. ‘I also think you broke my hand, but that doesn’t really matter right now.’

‘I can do this, right?’

He kissed her wet brow. ‘Of course you can. I won’t leave your side.’

None of them did. Elain and Mor stood with Amren in the corner, even when the midwives asked them if they’d rather wait in the hall with Rhys and Azriel. To her amazement, Amren actually tried to console her, telling her that what they’d been through was worse than this and to suck it up. It only angered her, but in hindsight, she tried her best.

‘Deep breath, Nesta, and… okay, start pushing!’

With a sharp cry, Nesta started pushing.

And she pushed.

And pushed.

And pushed until she was sure she was going to pass out.

Nothing, absolutely nothing could have prepared her for this kind of pain. Her whole body was being torn apart from the inside and although she tried to heed Madja’s advice, it was difficult to not think about the pain. She cried each time Madja told her to push again, her hands like iron shackles on her ankles. Midwives pressed cold cloths to her damp forehead every couple of minutes while Cassian was trying his hard to encourage her. Feyre was doing her best to keep her cool and held tight her hand.

‘I see the head! Come on Nesta, push harder!’

That comment made Nesta push as hard as she could. Cassian swore to her left — she probably managed to finally break his hand.

‘Shut up, Azriel, I want to see! Is it done? Is it— Holy gods.’

Nesta opened her eyes long enough to see Rhys stand in the doorway, staring in horror at her lower body.

‘I think I am going to pass out,’ he announced, swaying slightly on his feet. ‘She’s half out.’

‘What? I want to see!’

Still holding her hand, Cassian bowed to peer past the cloth that covered her, and immediately went white.

‘I… That’s… Mother’s tits.’

His eyes rolled to the back of his head and he dropped to the floor.

‘What the fuck?!’ Nesta screamed, right before Madja urged her to push her again.

Nesta did, directing all of her anger at her idiotic mate. She couldn’t believe he actually fainted. Again.

‘He’s dead, I am going to kill him, I swear to the gods!’ she yelled, pushing as hard as she could.

Two midwives went to assist Cassian, along with Rhys, who wasn’t far from fainting as well. To her surprise, Amren stepped in to hold her free hand.

‘I thought… you hated births,’ she panted.

‘I’m making an exception. Now push harder so we can get this over with or I’m going to gag.’

‘One more, Nesta!’ instructed Madja.

Even though it probably ruined all of her insides, Nesta gave a final push, and she felt it — felt a tiny body slip outside of her body. Before she could ask anything, Nesta heard a loud, screeching cry.

‘Oh my gods, Nesta,’ whispered Feyre.

Nesta let out a cry when Madja raised the baby so she could see her — a girl, covered in blood and crying, tiny hands curled into fists and raised in the air. Another midwife snipped the umbilical cord and was waiting patiently to take her. She was so loud that even Azriel stepped in the room and looked at her with a big smile on his face.

‘Take her, clean her, make sure everything is perfect.’ she handed her to the waiting midwife, while resuming her position. ‘One out, one to go. You can do this, Nesta.’

Breathing hard, Nesta glanced at her knocked out mate. ‘Someone please wake that idiot, he’s going to miss the whole thing! Throw some water on him!’

While Madja instructed her to push and hold, Mor and Rhys attempted to wake Cassian. It seemed like there was no end to this torture; hard as she tried, the pain wouldn’t go away. Her head was spinning and it was hard to concentrate on anything, even on breathing, but those sharp cries kept her tethered to reality. She could do this; she had to.

‘I see the head!’ announced Madja.

‘Come on, Nesta, not long now,’ said Feyre.

Amren didn’t complain about her hand, not even once. She changed her damp cloths and told her that she was going to be fine, while Elain described the baby while the midwives washed her. 

‘She’s gorgeous! She has dark hair and… already looks so angry. Nesta, this one is definitely you.’

‘What? What did I miss? Is that— holy shit!’

Cassian finally came around, managing to stand up and take Amren’s place, although his eyes were glued to the crying baby.

‘Gods above, Nesta, you did it,’ he said in complete awe.

‘Without your help, you idiot!’ she yelled. ‘If you faint one more time I’m going to kill you!’

‘One more, Nesta! One more and we’re done!’

_One more,_ she told herself, giving it one last push. One more and I’m done.

With a cry that made the entire building tremble, Nesta gave a final push, feeling the baby slip out.

‘And the other girl is out!’ announced Madja.

‘You did it, you did it. I’m so proud of you, my love.’

Cassian kept kissing her wet forehead, smiling brightly than the sun itself, while the midwives surrounded Madja. One of them snipped the cord and Madja moved immediately to the empty table, where she gently set down the baby and started to rub a cloth all over the body, moving faster and faster.

Nesta immediately knew that something was off.

‘The baby isn’t crying,’ she whispered, attempting to sit upright. ‘I don’t hear the baby crying, Madja, why isn’t she crying?!’

‘Nesta, calm down—‘

Terror set in her body as she tried to stand up, but Feyre and Cassian kept her in place.

‘What the hell is wrong with her?’ yelled Cassian.

‘Bring me those herbs over there and unblock her airways,’ said Madja to another midwife, ignoring their questions.

Now she was truly scared. She pushed away a midwife that was attempting to stitch her up and managed to sit upright, yelling at Madja to tell her what was happening. Madja picked up the baby by the legs and slapped her backside until a cry ringed around the room.

‘There you are, little one, you gave us a scare!’

Nesta’s eyes welled with tears as the midwives picked the now-crying baby and began to clean her.

‘She’s fine? Are they both fine?’ asked Cassian, knowing that Nesta didn’t have it in her to say anything coherent.

‘Yes, they are both fine,’ Madja reassured them with a smile, then helped Nesta back in the bed while the midwife she pushed away resumed her work. ‘The younger one wasn’t breathing, but it’s not unusual. Most of the time they just need a massage or a slap across their bottom to get their blood to circulate. They’re whole and healthy.’

‘I want to see them, bring them to me,’ she managed to say.

The midwives cleaned them as fast as they could and wrapped them in different swaddles — red for the first baby and blue for the second, so that they could tell them apart.

She couldn’t help but feel jealous that Elain, Mor and even Amren watched them with big smiles on their faces as they swaddled them. To his credit, Cassian didn’t leave her side, reassuring her that they were fine and that it was all over.

When they brought them over and carefully placed them both in her arms, Nesta burst into tears.

They were healthy and perfect and already fast asleep. They both had a mop of hair that they had to push back with pink headbands with bows — knitted by Elain.The first one had dark hair, so much like Cassian’s, while the other one had fairer hair. Their didn’t make a noise as Nesta stared at them in wonder, sleeping soundly while she cried and laughed and touched their tiny, scrunched up faces.

‘They look so angry,’ she laughed, finally looking up at Cassian, who had tears in his eyes as he took them in. ‘Do you want to hold one?’

He nodded instantly. One of the midwives brought a chair for Cassian to sit just as another picked up the second born and placed her in his arms, instructing him to support her head.

‘She is so beautiful,’ he said, staring at her in wonder. ‘I can’t believe she’s real.’

Next to her, Feyre sniffed. ‘They are both beautiful. Good job, Nesta. You did it.’

One by one, every one of her friends came in to look at the babies. Rhys would not stop pointing out how big and chunky they were, while Azriel was mesmerised by their hair. Mor cooed at them and pointed out their resemblance to Nesta, which she knew was nonsense, because all newborns looked the same. Elain wouldn’t stop tearing up and burst into tears when Nesta asked her if she wanted to hold the one in her arms, while Amren actually grinned at both of them.

‘I can’t wait for the chaos they will cause.’

Cassian was still pretending not to cry while staring at the baby in his arms and the one in Nesta’s. Her heart swelled at his look of pure love and joy — and as she looked at their girls, Nesta didn’t think that they were truly real.

‘What about names? Did you finally decide, or do you need five more months?’ asked Rhys, gazing at the baby behind Cassian’s shoulder.

Nesta and Cassian exchanged a look, both of them grinning.

‘We did,’ she said. ‘This one is Evanora.’

‘And this one is Rheya,’ finished Cassian, still staring at the baby in his arms.

Rhys and Azriel looked at each other, smiling softly. Evanora had been the name of Cassian’s mother — Nesta came up with the idea to name one of them that. And since she came the way she did, fists in the air and raging like she already owned the world, it was obvious that she was a fighter. Evanora suited her perfectly.

Rheya was Nesta’s favourite character of all time, a girl she looked up to and admired greatly. She was an adventurer, a girl made of fire who loved fiercely and dreamed wildly. Somehow, Cassian loved the name as well.

‘You both are going to do great things,’ she said, kissing Evanora’s forehead. ‘You are so, so loved.’


	6. Chapter 6

They had spent the night there. Nesta fell asleep as soon as she had fed both girls, Cassian swearing to her that he wouldn’t leave their side. Relieved, she was out in less than five minutes, Madja reassuring him that she would be perfectly fine and that rest was all she needed.

The others left one by one, promising to be back in the morning to help them go home. Feyre and Elain insisted to stay and help, but Cassian persuaded them to go home and get some rest. He had no problem putting an all nighter and watch the girls sleep; in fact, he was looking forward to it.

‘I’m just in the next room if you need anything,’ the healer said after helping him change them into some of the clothes they’d brought. ‘They shouldn’t wake up for at least two or three hours, so you’re in the clear for now.’

Cassian thanked her and after checking on Nesta again, she left the room. He was seated on an armchair right next to the portable crib where the girls were sleeping soundly, all huddled up and glued to each other’s side, their small heads touching. Cassian couldn’t help but grin at the sight — out of the womb and still inseparable. It made his heart soar.

They were so, so tiny. Which was not really accurate, since one healer actually made a comment about how big they were for newborns, but to him, they were extremely small and precious. They had changed Evanora into a pink, thick onesie and Rheya into a yellow one, which both had animals embroideries sewn by Elain. Their swaddles were also embroidered by her, with small flowers and butterflies. The healer had chuckled at his nervousness as he dressed one of them, reassuring him time and again that it was fine, that even though babies were small, they were resilient. But how could he explain that his hands were used to sharpening swords and wielding them in battle, not cradling babies or holding them? What if he forgot, even for one second, that he needed to be gentle, that his touch was supposed to be lighter than a feather? As he mulled over that, he dared to touch Rheya’s hair, which was so much lighter than her sister’s.

‘I’ve waited so long to meet you two,’ he whispered to the sleeping babies. ‘I’m your dad. That one over there snoring is your mom, and she’s the most incredible and strong person I have ever met, and she loves you both so much.’

Rheya made a grunting sound, trying to wiggle her arms. He watched her with fascination.

‘You scared the hell out of us today,’ he said to her, gently tracing her features. Her skin was so pink and smooth. ‘Nesta told me not to use swear words around you, but she can’t tell me what do to all the time. You’re Illyrians, you’re supposed to know inventive swear words by the time you turn five. Your mommy will tell you that they’re for barbarians, but your mom is kind of a prissy sometimes, so don’t take her word for it. It’s better to be a barbarian with a mean swing than a pompous Fae.’

He turned around to look at Nesta, who was still fast asleep. She looked exhausted, but still beautiful. Gods, he was so in love with her, it blew him away every time he looked at her. And now she gave birth to their babies, which was nothing short of a miracle.

‘She’s smart, though,’ he continued to talk to the babies. ‘and scary when she wants to be. It took me a long time to find her, but I am so happy that I did. Now I got the two of you and I can’t wait to get to see you grow up. I promise that I will be the best dad that you could ask for, and you will always have me, no matter what. You have an entire family that is excited to get to know you two as well, so be prepared for a lifetime of craziness.’

While sitting with the babies and watching them and his mate sleep, Cassian realised just how fortunate he was. He never even expected to find love, less alone a mate who would bring his children into the world. He vowed that he could love and protect them until the day he died and that no matter what, he’d always be there for them.

* * *

‘Easy, easy, watch her head!’

‘I _am_ watching her head!’

‘Put that bumper over her head in case she’s going to move!’

Cassian set Evanora down in her crib as gently as he could, then gave Nesta a dirty look. ‘She’s a newborn, smartass, she’s not going to roll onto her stomach and hit her head. She’s not even aware she has hands.’

Still, Cassian put the bumper next to the wooden bars, just in case. After making sure that she was still sleeping, Nesta made to put Rheya down as well, who was fast asleep in her arms. The baby didn’t even move as she set her down, gurgling in her sleep. Nesta put a bumper above her head as well — paranoia kicked in — and looked down at her with amazement.

‘How long until they’re going to terrorise us?’

‘A few hours, probably,’ said Cassian, coming to her side. ‘so you should probably go to sleep while you can.’

‘I’m not tired,’ she insisted.

‘Nesta, you gave birth last night. Your whole body is tired. Go to sleep and I’ll watch them, okay?’

‘You watched them last night, you didn’t even sleep.’

‘I’m not going to fall asleep while watching them, I am a trained warrior! I never fall asleep on duty!’

‘How about you both go to sleep and I’ll watch them for you?’

Feyre appeared in the doorway, her gaze setting on the cribs immediately. She had sketchbook in a hand and some pens in the other.

‘I came prepared for duty.’

‘But what if they wake up? What if they’re hungry?’ began Nesta, worrying already.

‘If they wake up I’ll come get you, Nes. Don’t worry, I’m not going to leave this room, not even to use the bathroom. You’re both exhausted, go and sleep for a few hours. You’ll be up most nights from now on anyway.’

In the end, they relented. Feyre sat on one of the armchairs and began drawing whatever she was drawing these days, while the two of them went straight to the bedroom and fell asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillows.

* * *

Their life became completely chaotic from the first day that they got home.

It wasn’t that difficult at first — they took turns waking up and feeding them with the milk that Nesta pumped during the day, so that she could also sleep the nights, but it was hard to keep up with both of them. When one finally fell asleep after crying and then eating for half an hour, the other would wake up. They couldn’t handle the both of them on their own, so the other had to wake up as well.

Days of sleepless nights kept them both on their toes. Sometimes they’d get like twenty minutes to nap on the floor of their nursery and if it weren’t for her sisters that would constantly visit and bring them food, they’d probably starve themselves to death.

Three weeks after bringing them home, Nesta was so sleep deprived that she was close to asking Cassian to knock her out just so she wouldn’t hear the girls cry for a few hours. _That_ would be a miracle.

‘Okay miss Evie, you are all nice and clean now! Are you hungry? Do you wanna nap? Please say that you wanna nap and I will buy you a pony when you turn four! How about that?’

Nesta grinned from the doorway, watching Cassian change Evie and baby-talk to her. She wiggled her arms and legs consistently, watching Cassian with her wide, fascinated eyes while he carefully put on a clean set of clothes. No one told them how dirty babies were.

Seeing her standing in the threshold, Cassian dropped his bubbly façade just for a second and sighed. ‘Training rebel soldiers was easier than convincing her to sleep,’ he admitted.

‘Do you want me to take over?’

‘No, we’re fine, I’ll get her to sleep. You should probably go take a shower, though.’

‘Are you implying that I _smell_?’

Her mate picked their baby up, rocking her. ‘You have baby puke on your shoulder, sweetheart.’

Glancing down, Nesta observed that she did, in fact, have puke on her shoulder, thanks to the lovely Rheya, who was at least sleeping in her crib right now.

‘Fine, I’m going.’

While Nesta forced herself to stay awake while showering, she wondered for how long they’d have to keep this up. She knew that babies starting sleeping through the nights much later, but it never occurred to her that they requires so. Damn. Much. Attention.

They were worse than her when it came to this.

At least Rheya slept for more than an hour at a time. Not that she wanted to make differences between them, but she was so easy to lull back to sleep and didn’t scream her tiny lungs off each time Cassian or Nesta didn’t pick her up within a minute. She liked being swayed and rocked to sleep, especially by Cassian — probably because he always liked to talk to them. Nesta sung to them, which was one of the few ways to calm down Evie, but it didn’t always work. That girl was a hellion.

As soon as she was done and managed to get herself into clean clothes, Rheya started crying. She started telling their cries apart — Rheya’s was more high-pitched, while Evie stopped here and there to hiccup. There was no way in hell Cassian could manage to calm her _and_ put Evie to sleep, so she was prepared to step in and give him a hand, but stopped just a few feet from their nursery when she heard him talking.

‘It’s okay baby, shh, please don’t wake your sister, it took me ages to put her down.’

Nesta dared to take a peek and found Cassian picking Rheya up and rocking her by the window. By some miracle, Evie was finally asleep.

‘And your mommy is so, so tired, so let’s give her a break for a bit, okay?’

‘I am not that tired,’ she chuckled. ‘Come on, pass her to me and go sleep. You’re basically sleepwalking and I need to feed her anyway.’

‘I am not—‘

‘Not up for discussion, Cass.’

Nesta finally convinced him to pass Rheya to her and after giving her a quick kiss, he went straight to their bedroom.

‘You two love keeping us on our toes, don’t you?’

Nesta made herself comfortable on the armchair and began to nurse Rheya, who stopped crying the moment her lips closed around her nipple. She covered her legs with a blanket and hummed to her baby, running her fingers through her soft hair. The purple headband she had on was gifted by Elain — most of them were. She kept bringing them new stuff every day: yesterday she brought them ten pairs of different-sized baby gloves and knitted hats for going out, and today she brought tiny dresses that were absolutely adorable. Feyre and Mor visited as well, taking turns holding them, which gave her exactly an hour to sleep.

‘You have my hair, you know that? Soft and fair. That’s how your aunties’ was when they were teeny tiny like you are now,’ she whispered to her daughter, who was watching her with curiosity. ‘And your daddy’s cute nose and eyes. You certainly didn’t get our temperament, that’s for sure. Your sister got all of that and then some. Elain, your aunt, was also a reasonable baby. I would sing to her every night, just like I do with you, to make her sleep. Feyre, your other aunt, wanted stories. Stories about heroines and battles and coups, so I’d just read her a history book.’

Evie kept on sleeping in the crib, unbothered by their conversation. At least she wasn’t a light sleeper.

‘If you’re going to be into that sort of thing then I bet your daddy has some impressive war stories, but they might make you stop sleeping at night for a while. I’m speaking from my own experience. And he’ll also teach you how to fly, once your wings come out. He’s so excited about that — your uncles as well. They’ve been fighting over who gets to teach you first.’

They have wings, Madja told her, but they’re not out yet. Just like their teeth — it’s going to take a couple of months for them to come out, but when they’ll do, it would be hell unleashed on earth. They’ll cry all the time, not sleep through the night and probably even injure themselves with the wings if they’re not careful, so it was great to know that it was only going to get harder from there.

Nesta didn’t mind, though. Not when her baby was slowly falling asleep in her arms and the other was already sound asleep, looking like an absolute angel. They were healthy and happy — as happy as newborns could be — which mattered more than their fucked up schedule. They mattered more than anything in the world.

Plus, they had a village to help them, if they needed it. Nesta suspected that she might require their assistance sooner than later.


	7. Chapter 7

_6 months old_

Rheya’s wings came out first.

It happened a couple of weeks ago, right at the crack of dawn. They sprouted from her back overnight and when Nesta changed her diaper, she noticed them — small, leathery and pressed flat against her back. Nesta almost cried with excitement and screamed for Cassian to come immediately to their nursery. He ran as fast as he could, thinking that something caught on fire or worse, but when he saw Rheya’s small wings stretching, he nearly fainted. _Again._

They celebrated that day, inviting their family over for dinner and showing Rheya’s wings off. Her sister felt that the attention had been focused on Rheya, even though Mor kept bouncing her on her knees, making her giggle. Rheya was in Feyre’s arms while Rhys wouldn’t stop making faces at her, which completely fascinated her.

Evie’s wings came out a week later, but she had been so much fussier about it. Nothing would stop her crying except strolling outside, which is what they were currently doing.

‘They’ve gotten so big, it’s like they were the size of a melon a couple of days ago. And so damn cute!’

Feyre laughed at Rheya, who was smiling while attempting to bite her feet in her stroller. Evie was in the stroller pushed by Nesta, watching the sky and gurgling random noises every now and then. At least she wasn’t crying.

The strollers had been a gift from an ambassador in the Day court — basically a bassinet on wheels that they could push around the streets of Velaris. Highly practical, since it seemed to make them fall asleep faster. 

‘They’d be even cuter if they wouldn’t be so fussy about solid food. We’ve been feeding them mashed potatoes, bananas, apples, whatever you can think of. They eat like a spoonful and then start throwing it in our faces.’

‘At least they can sit upright and roll on their own now. Cassian told me last week that Evie wouldn’t stop pulling his hair and Rheya loves playing peekaboo.’

‘She’d play that for hours if she could,’ Nesta laughed.

‘Have you thought about going back to work yet?’

Nesta smiled at some waving Fae, all of them pointing at the strollers and attempting to steal a glance of the twins. Even though it was warm outside, Nesta made sure to keep them all bundled up, so that they wouldn’t get a cold. That was the last thing she needed.

‘Not really,’ she admitted. ‘As much as I hate staying inside most of the day, I can’t bear to leave them with a nanny, even for a few hours. Also, I got so used with baby talking that I’m afraid I’ll start doing it with my subordinates as well.’

‘What about Cassian? How is he managing it?’

‘Oh, he’s a natural. Some days I think that he’s handling them better than me. Now they wake up once or twice at night and he lets me sleep most of the time, and he manages to put them to sleep faster than me. He absolutely adores them.’

Feyre beamed. ‘I knew he would be an amazing dad. And you an amazing mom.’

‘I had my doubts about myself, but never about him. He’s amazing with them.’

They strolled around by the river, stopping here and there to chat with Fae they knew and showing the twins to them. Most of them were so amazed by how big and gorgeous they were that they wouldn’t stop staring, while others pointed out who took after who.

‘It’s obvious that Rheya takes after you,’ said Feyre when they finally sat down at a restaurant to eat. ‘She has our hair. Evie has dark hair, like Cassian. And probably your temperament.’

That was so true that Nesta didn’t even bother to object.

Next to them, the girls were fast asleep. They ordered food and chatted while enjoying the loud noises of the city — it had been a long time since she went out and the girls didn’t cry in the first ten minutes.

‘I’ll probably convince Cassian to go back to work in the next few days. He keeps insisting that there’s no need, but I know he wants to go back out there and train with his soldiers. Even the kids miss training with him, from what I’ve heard from Azriel.’

‘If he does, we can always come by and help you with the girls if you need help. Elain would probably give up her arm for more time with them.’

‘Last time she started crying when Evie smiled at her. It took Azriel quite a while to calm her down,’ she laughed.

Elain loved hanging out with her babies. Her and Mor would always come around to bring them gifts and play with them, which kept them entertained long enough for Nesta and Cassian to go do some grocery shopping or just take a walk by themselves. Amren would also come by here and there, but she wasn’t big into playing with kids. She’d just point out how fat they were and maybe bring them dark objects, which Nesta made sure to keep locked in a drawer.

‘Hello, ladies. What a surprise to bump into you here!’

They both groaned when Rhys and Cassian showed up.

‘Oh, no, what are you two doing here?’

‘I get _two hours_ away from you and you still show up!’ they both said in unison.

Cassian was the first one to cringe. ‘Tough crowd.’

‘This may come as a surprise, but we were actually just passing. We’re on our way to Fintan to see the new weapons forged in the mountains,’ said Rhys. ‘And we’re pretty excited about that, so we won’t linger much. How are these cute little stars? Hi, baby Evie, don’t you look cranky today! The splitting image of your mother!’

Evie somehow woke up and didn’t start bawling her eyes out, so Rhys took this opportunity to pick her up and talk to her about nonsense. Feyre was watching him with starstruck eyes, which made Nesta gag.

‘How the hell did you get them to be so quiet?’ asked Cassian, crossing his arms and watching them skeptically. ‘Did you poison them or something?’

‘No, I’m saving that for when they’re teenagers.’

Cassian sneaked a glance at Rheya, a smile blooming on his handsome face. Gods, she loved that face.

‘This girl could probably sleep through a hurricane. The War wouldn’t have even bothered her.’

It was true, Rheya was better at sleeping and self soothing than her sister. Twins, yet their personalities were already so different.

‘She gets that from you, obviously,’ said Nesta with a grin.

‘I’m not even going to deny that. Come on Rhysie, let’s go, we got things to do.’

‘Already? I need to spend more time with my nieces, they need to know that I’m a constant part of their life!’

‘Trust me, when they’ll need someone to pardon them for their crimes, they’ll be all over you,’ he pointed out.

Cassian gave Nesta a quick kiss, whispering sweet nothings that always put her in a good mood, then turned towards his brother, who somehow got Evie to laugh.

‘You’re the cutest thing in the world! Wait, no, don’t steal her from me!’

Cassian managed to sneak Evie from his arms, pressing a kiss onto her forehead. Recognising who was holding her, Evie began giggling and attempted to pull his hair.

‘I’ll see you in just a bit, Evie,’ he said, kissing her again. ‘I love you so much. Here, stay with your auntie!’

After passing her to Feyre, Cassian looked completely heartbroken over leaving, which made little sense to her, since he was always around the girls anyway.

‘Go on, they won’t miss you for another hour. I’ll see you back home.’

He nodded, eyes still glued on Evie. The man couldn’t take a hint.

After Rhys nudged him, Cassian was brought back to reality. ‘Huh? Oh, right. I’ll see you home, sweetheart. Bye, Feyre! Bye, Evie!’

Evie raised her hand up and down in an attempt to wave goodbye.

Nesta realised with a pang that they were growing up so damn fast.

* * *

_9 months old_

‘Look at them. So unbothered by the world. Completely carefree, blowing bubbles and splashing each other. When was the last time we were so relaxed?’

‘When we weren’t alive,’ huffed Cassian.

‘Evie, stop eating the bubbles, they’re not food.’

Of course she ignored them, watching the bubbles stick to her chubby fingers like they were magic. Rheya was playing with her doll, a gift from Amren — she had to check it at least fifty times to make sure it wasn’t hexed. She found it a little worrying that all she did with her was pull her dark hair as hard as she could, hurl her around the tub and hit the bottom of it with her face. Cassian was particularly fond of that.

‘Should we let them play more or take them out?’

‘I don’t know, I’m too tired to stand up,’ she replied.

‘Me too. Who knew that children had so much energy?’

‘Everyone,’ she mumbled, and Cassian elbowed her.

They were sitting on the floor of their bathroom while the girls played in the tub. It was always easier to wash them together, since they’d distract each other with toys and lots of babbling. Every now and then they’d start fluttering their wings like crazy, getting everything in the bathroom wet, including Nesta and Cassian.

‘Mamamama!’

Evie grinned, showing them her small four teeth while pushing a wooden boat towards her.

‘Thank you, Evie.’

‘Why is she only saying mama? Why can’t she say dada instead?’

Nesta tried hard not to laugh.

‘Because she prefers me, obviously. Quit being jealous. Maybe Rheya will say dada and you’ll stop moping around.’

Cassian was about to say something, but then Rheya extended her arms towards him, giving a small cry, which meant that she wanted to be picked up. Smirking, Cassian picked her up in a towel and began drying her.

‘I don’t see them asking for you to pick them up.’

‘That’s not true! Evie, do you want mommy to pick you up? Come on, let’s get you dry!’

As soon as Nesta attempted to pick her daughter up, she began to cry and kick.

‘Okay, more bath time then,’ she sighed, putting her down. The little demon calmed as soon as Nesta removed her hands, resuming her playing.

‘You were saying?’

She glanced at Cassian, who was sitting on a chair they brought in with Rheya on her hands. She was closely examining her doll, mumbling random vowels while Cassian dried her hair with the towel, glancing up towards him here and there to point towards things.

‘Yes, that’s a very pretty doll, Rheya. Prettier than the demon who gave it to you, that’s for sure.’

‘Amren would kill you if she heard you say that.’

‘Well, thank the gods that Amren isn’t omnipresent, right, Rheya?’ he said in his baby-voice, making Rheya squeal. ‘Come on, let’s get you dressed! And you try not to annoy Evie more, she’ll start throwing things and her aim is already impeccable.’

Nesta made a face, returning her attention towards her daughter, who was happily splashing her arms and screaming as hard as she could.

‘Well, at least you’re not crying.’

* * *

Getting them to bed was the tough part. They had the most energy right before going to sleep, so they had to find ways to tire them out — which explained why they both held their hands while they made clumsy steps, walking all over the house to explore it. It didn’t take long for Evie to get tired of having her hands held so she began crawling around the nursery, pulling toys around and playing with them. Rheya was still pseudo-walking with Cassian, who praised her every step and laughed every time she squatted, demanding to be picked up. She loved being held up.

Cassian hoisted her on his shoulders despite Nesta’s protests, who was on the floor with Evie.

‘You’re going to drop her!’

‘I’m not going to drop her, this isn’t the first time I’m doing this!’

‘What else have you done without telling me, Cassian? Please don’t tell me you took them flying or I’m going to kill you.’

‘I didn’t, though it would’ve been fun, right, Rheya?’

Rheya squealed again, pulling Cassian by his hair while he supported her back with his hand.

‘When do you need to leave tomorrow?’ she asked.

‘Not until noon. Are you sure you’re okay with me leaving, though? I don’t want to leave you alone. What if you need help?’

‘Don’t worry about that, Elain said she’s going to sleep over. Feyre will probably want to come over as well, so I’m all set.’

Still, Cassian looked distressed about leaving, even if it was just for a night. The war lords wanted to host a meeting in the Illyrian mountains and demanded his presence, since they haven’t seen him in months. Most of them thought that he was lying dead in a ditch somewhere, because the idea of staying home with your mate and helping with the babies was abnormal and downright offensive to them.

They resumed work about a month and a half ago; well, Cassian did. He began training again with his units, but only for the first part of the day, and Nesta worked from home, where she could supervise and play with her children as well. They napped twice or thrice per day now, so she had plenty of time to have her subordinates over and discuss issues. Whenever she needed to get down to the embassy and yell at someone or meet with dignitaries, she’d do it in the afternoon, when Cassian was home and could watch the girls.

They had a pretty nice schedule, but Cassian was never away for a whole night, and although Nesta understood his reluctance, she knew he needed to go see his people.

‘Cass, we’ll be okay, don’t worry. I can handle them on my own for a night.’

‘I know you can, love. I think I’m too dependent on these two. They’re like opium.’

He sat down next to her, Rheya sitting in his lap. Nesta picked up her ugly doll and gave it to her, which was all the distraction she needed.

‘We made cute babies,’ she pointed out. ‘and smart.’

Next to them, still crawling around, Evie was still blabbering. Her dark hair was pulled back by a headband, which she always tugged off and chewed on.

‘Imagine when they’ll start talking. We’ll be dead.’

‘Why do I get the feeling that you’ll teach them swear words before introducing them to other kids?’

‘Because I don’t want them to be bullied. They need to assert dominance on the playground, Nes. How else will the others respect them?’

Raising her eyebrows, Nesta tried not to burst into laughing.

‘Cass, I highly doubt that children care about dominance. They care who has the prettiest toys.’

‘Oh. Then they’re going to be so jealous of them, because they’ll have the prettiest toys. Right, Rey?’

Cassian put his palm up in front of her, which Rheya slapped instantly. He taught them both how to high five a long time ago.

‘I’m going to take a shower, you put them to sleep.’

‘But—‘

‘Good luck!’

Nesta bolted from the room before he had a chance to object.

* * *

The following day went by way smoother than Nesta could have predicted. The girls ate without making too much of a mess, only cried once when she changed them, took their first nap together (they did that during the day) and were now taking their second nap while she worked on some documents for work.

‘Are you sure this is all they sent to us? No other stipulations or requirements?’

Eleri shook his head while Alva rechecked the papers one more time.

‘No, they just want you to agree to the meeting date they set and reassure them that they have accommodation and all that is necessary for their travels. Also, the representative from the Autumn Court, Dusan, required the villa with the forest view and during the meeting he wants to be put as far as possible from the Dawn Court emissary, Evander.’

Furrowing her brows, Nesta looked at Alva, who was still sorting through the papers. ‘Did they have a fight?’

‘What? Oh, no, Evander discovered that Dusan’s lover, Ashbel, is actually his mate, so it caused quite a lot of drama. They won’t even look at each other, less alone discuss politics, which is why Dusan will be accompanied by an entire cohort.’

‘Can’t wait,’ she said dryly.

‘Really?’ frowned Eleri, missing her sarcasm again. ‘I thought you hated petty squabbles between Courts. And Raine, that overly enthusiastic female from the Winter Court will also be there, and you dislike her optimistic view of the world.’

For the first time in hours, Alva set down her papers and sighed. ‘She was joking, Eleri. Of course she’s not looking forward to it.’

‘Three years and I still can’t teach you the art of sarcasm,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘You’re hopeless, Eleri.’

Bewildered, Eleri began to object, but a loud knock made him flinch.

‘Oh my gods, is that—‘

‘Hello everyone! I brought pastries and alcohol. Who wants to get fucked?’

Feyre walked in, hands full with boxes and a satchel with what Nesta guessed were bottles of alcohol. Seeing the High Lady — not Feyre, her little sister — enter the house, Eleri immediately stood up and bowed low, making everyone chuckle.

‘High Lady, it’s an honour—‘

‘Stop calling me that Eleri, you’ve known me for years. We’re friends!’

Hearing that, Eleri swayed a bit, gulping loudly. Nesta tried hard not to laugh.

‘Mor and Roslyn will join us soon enough, and Elain said she’ll try to make it, but Azriel has got all of her attention, so I’m not too sure about her. Amren said she’ll swing by as well, which is new.’

Feyre began taking out each bottle and set them on their overflowing table. Alva sputtered something about those being important statistics, but Feyre paid her no attention.

‘Where are the girls?’

‘Sleeping. Weren’t you supposed to come by later? We’re not finished yet.’

Feyre took a seat on the couch right next to Eleri, who was close to having a heart attack. The boy looked at her like she was the epitome of perfection, worshipping the ground she walked on. Nesta guessed he was either smitten with her or really intimidated by her; probably both.

‘I closed the art workshop earlier and Rhys already left with Cassian, so I decided to come here. What are you working on? Maybe I can help.’

‘We were just about to make the seating arrangements for the meeting with the Courts representatives, which takes place in two weeks,’ explained Alva.‘Will you also be in attendance? If yes, then I need to know, because there are a bunch of Fae who mentioned that they also want to sit further away from you.’

Feyre’s cheerful smile dropped. ‘Well, that’s… kind of them. I take they still think we’re evil?’

‘A Fae from the Spring Court wrote a three-pages letter insisting that he be kept away from our kind. And made us promise that we won’t unleash Amren on them.’

‘That’s a reasonable request,’ said Nesta.

‘Also, since you are here, Feyre, I have a list of all the foreign Fae that want an audience with you. We need to work on a schedule and a place where you can host them. Do you prefer the embassy or the House of Wind?’

Before Feyre could protest, Alva pulled out another chart filled with names and numbers and began to assault Feyre with questions and protocols. Eleri was still staring at Feyre like she was the whole universe, so Nesta took this opportunity to go check on her girls.

She opened the nursery door as slowly as she could, sneaking a glance — they were both still sleeping in Evie’s crib, their small heads touching. Rheya had her doll tucked under her arm while Evie was sucking on her pacifier. Thank the gods.

When she returned to the living room, Mor and Roslyn had just arrived — along with Amren.

‘Fancy seeing you here,’ she said to Amren, who was sitting on her divan and sipping wine.

‘Hello to you too, witch. Where are your tiny demons?’

‘Sleeping. Pour me a glass please, I can’t remember the last time I tasted alcohol.’

To her surprise, Amren did just that. She said hello to Mor and Roslyn, who were currently bullying Eleri into admitting his feelings for Feyre, while she was still talking business with Alvi, unaware of what those two were doing. Nesta sat on the armchair next to Amren and drank half of the glass in one go.

‘That hard being a mom?’

‘Oh, you have no idea.’

* * *

‘What the hell…’

‘Cassian?’ she called out from the kitchen. ‘I’m here!’

Nesta was playing games with the girls in order to get them to eat their food when Cassian walked in, looking startled.

‘Why is everyone knocked out on the floor?’

‘Hmm? Oh, they got drunk last night. Feyre stole Rhysand’s oldest wine, so he might be pissed about that.’

‘I’m surprised you put pillows under their heads. Even Amren got drunk?’

‘The alcohol hits harder when you’re so small. How was the meeting?’

‘Horrible,’ he said with a bright smile, bending to get a kiss. ‘Might have ended with some casualties.’

‘Fae I wouldn’t have liked?’

‘You would’ve cheered for me if you were there, trust me. They were _that_ horrible.’

‘You always make me proud,’ she chuckled.

‘Look at you two! Eating without crying!’

Both of them began to flutter their wings when they recognised their dad, Rheya demanding at once to be picked up from her baby chair. He ignored Nesta’s protests and picked her up, then kissed Evie’s head.

‘If you picked her up then also convince her to eat those peas and mashed potatoes.’

Cassian rolled his eyes but sat at the table, placed Rheya on his knees and tried to trick her into eating. All he managed to do was get her dirtier.

‘So you had fun last night?’ he asked.

‘Not as much as them, obviously. I had to call it a night when the girls woke up and wanted to play. Eleri got so drunk that he attempted to kiss Feyre’s feet, though, which was a little embarrassing for him.’

‘He did _what?_ Oh, Rhys is going to love hearing this. Poor boy. What is he, eighteen?’

‘Seventeen. Roslyn and Mor got so drunk that they began making out, which he also watched with fascination, until Amren slapped him over the head. They all fell asleep around dawn.’

‘Did you manage to get any sleep?’

‘Sometime after midnight, when the girls got tired enough and went to sleep. Evie woke up first, of course.’

In front of her, Evie kept saying _‘mamamama’_ and played with the peas. Every now and then she’d eat a couple, but she mostly just threw them around.

‘Did _you_ get any sleep?’

Cassian made a face, which meant that no, he didn’t.

‘That bad?’ she winced.

‘Unfortunately. You know how the war lords are, always talking but never thinking. They got me pretty riled up within the hour.’

‘Wow, since when did you become so patient?’

Cassian have her one of his typical smirks. ‘Since I got a mate. And two kids who are more stubborn than me and you combined. Parenthood taught me a lot, Nes, like how to change diapers with one hand. Anyway, they wanted more money for gods know what and Azriel also found out that they clipped seven women’s wings in one of the camps.’

Nesta’s smile faltered, goosebumps covering her arms.

‘Did you kill them?’

He nodded.

‘Good.’

‘We brought them to Velaris this morning. Some of them are fully grown and have children of their own, others are barely more than ten. We placed them with some families who offered to take in any Fae children who are orphaned. They’ll be well taken care of, and Azriel and I will help train them when they’re better. They’ll survive.’

That meant that the parents were also dead. If they allowed those Illyrians to clip their daughters’ wings, then they deserved to be dead.

Nesta looked at her babies and their small, leathery wings — not that small anymore, since they grew just as they did. She couldn’t picture them without them; how they fluttered whenever they were excited or happy or dropped when they cried. Sometimes, when they were angry, they’d bat them furiously, managing to scratch her and Cassian in an instant.

Those wings were what made them Fae, just as their pointy ears. They were also Illyrians, and she couldn’t imagine— _couldn’t comprehend_ how they clipped their wings. If anyone ever attempted to touch them or their wings, Nesta would tear them limb from limb; that if Cassian didn’t get to them first.

‘I know they’re Illyrians,’ she whispered, twirling one of Evie’s curls around her fingers. ‘I know we’ll have to take them there one day, but I’m not letting my daughters train with them in the mountains, Cass. At least not until they’re old enough to be able to protect themselves and only if they wish to. I don’t want them to go through what you did. It’s not fair.’

‘I know,’ he approved. ‘I don’t want them to live there either. It’s a harsh place to grow up as a girl. I’m not even sure all of the camps would let them train, less alone take the Blood Rite or fight.’

Hearing that, Nesta bristled. ‘They don’t need to take that just to prove that they’re strong. They may not even be into fighting, for all we know.’

‘You know that’s not true,’ he said softly. ‘You read a ton shit of books about Illyrians. They _all_ have that fighting instinct, even if they’re part High Fae. Look at Rhys. He’s more chiseled now, because he’s older, but you should’ve seen him as a teenager. And we already know they will have part of your powers, so what do we do when they need to learn how to channel it? Control it?’

‘You train them. _You_ train them, their father, not those Illyrians in the camps. You, Azriel, Rhys, Amren, even Feyre. They have more than enough Fae here to teach them how to control their powers and fight. I don’t trust that the Illyrians who treated you the way they did wouldn’t treat your daughters the same way, Cass.’

At that, Cassian nodded. They both knew that they could always target them, attempt to hurt them. They would never take that risk.

‘We can always take them to see the camps, though. When they’re a bit older and one of us would supervise them all the time. I don’t want to keep them away from their birthright, but I also want to protect them.’

‘So do I, sweetheart. Which is why I also don’t want to pack them up and send them over there like Rhysand’s father did. We’ll train them here, with the other kids, when they’ll be old enough. They’re safe in Velaris.’

Nesta nodded, feeling her heart at ease. ‘Good thing we have a long while until then.’

At last, Cassian cracked a smile. ‘Oh, I wouldn’t be too sure about that. They’ll go wild in a couple of years.’


	8. Chapter 8

_10 months old_

Cassian was on his own with Rheya. They were in a war tent right on the outskirts of Velaris, where he was patiently waiting for some other lieutenants and war lords to show up. He wasn’t exactly looking forward to it — his daughter was in his care, while the other was in Nesta’s. This was one of the days they both feared — when their schedules were an absolute mess and they had no one to take the girls in for an unlimited amount of time. Feyre and Rhys, along with Mor, were in Hewn City. Roslyn was at the summer market, too busy to watch over their babies and take her of her stalls at the same time. Azriel was dealing with some war lords up north, and Amren flat-out refused to care for them, claiming that she had no knowledge whatsoever about babies. In reality, Cassian was glad that she refused; she would’ve probably accidentally killed them anyway. It was better like this.

So they each took one girl, the one they knew best how to soothe, and prayed to the ancient gods that they would not go rampant during their meetings.

So far Rheya had been nothing but an angel; sitting on his knees, drinking her juice straight from the bottle herself, mumbling incoherent words and even laughing whenever he bounced her on his feet. While doing all that, he was carefully surveying the territory map laid before him, which covered an entire table. Figures and flags pinpointed where certain camps were located, and which one were getting out of control. A part of him was aching to get there and solve the issues himself, but it wasn’t his fight. He had other priorities at the moment, and Azriel could handle them just as well.

Rheya made a screeching noise and pulled at his tunic, asking for his attention.

‘Hmm? Don’t tell me, you’re hungry again.’

She shook her head, noticing that his eyes kept darting to the map. Although her sister loved attention more, Rheya only got cranky when _he_ didn’t indulge her.

‘Dadaaaa!’

That certainly got his attention.

His eyes snapped towards her, who was watching him with a goofy smile.

‘Did you just say dada? Can you say it again?’

‘Dadadadaaa, up!’

‘Oh my gods, you just said dada! Holy fuck, wait until Nesta hears about this!’

He picked her up and stood up, hugging her close to his chest and smothering her with kisses on her cheeks and neck until she started laughing so hard that it also made him laugh. When he stopped long enough to look at her flushed cheeks and scrunched up eyes, he almost burst into tears.

‘This is the first time you called me dad, you know?’ he noted, his laughter turning into a soft, almost melancholic smile. ‘I knew one of you would eventually, but I just didn’t know what it would _feel_ like to hear it. To hear you acknowledge it.’

Of course, Rheya wasn’t even paying attention to his philosophical ramblings, attempting to tug at his wings instead, then at her braids that he carefully did a few hours ago. Against his will, a tear streaked down his cheek, although his heart was alight with joy and love. So, so much love for this small, loud, demanding creature. Sometimes it didn’t even seem possible.

‘I love you so much,’ he said, hugging her close to his chest. To his surprise, Rheya circled his neck with her arms and rested her head against his shoulder, a rare display of compliance. She didn’t give in so easily. Maybe he got lucky and she would fall asleep.

‘Commander, they arrived. Should I let them in?’

Cassian peered at the young male who entered the tent, and nodded his approval.

_Here goes nothing,_ he thought, sitting down in his chair.

One by one, the Illyrians entered the cabin, and, one by one, frowned and downright scowled at the sight of a baby in their midst. One of them, an old, grumpy lieutenant from a far away camp, pointed at Rheya.

‘That yours?’

‘One of them.’

‘Judging by that pink sweater, I take she’s a girl.’

Cassian nodded. ‘Two girls, actually.’

And as they all did, the Illyrian winced, then took his seat.

He knew most of the Illyrians in this tent — he fought with most, even grew up with some. Some were from Velaris, which meant that they were comrades, but others were from distant war camps, where they still followed old traditions. What Cassian did right now was basically a blasphemy.

‘Alright, I was informed that there were some disputes amongst some camps. Where did…’

‘You actually brought your kid to a _war council?’_ Arion, a burly male with braided dark hair and skin littered with scars asked.

Cassian sighed. ‘Yes.’

‘Isn’t she a little young for that, though?’ asked Angus, Arion’s older brother. ‘You really want to start ‘em young in the business, then,’ he laughed, joined in by the others.

Cassian levelled him a hard glare. ‘Quit talking shit. Nesta also has an important meeting and no one could take them both on such short notice.’

Kavan, one of the males who got along well with him, leaned in closer to take a look at his daughter. A soft smile spread on his face, followed by a sigh.

‘I forgot how small they are. Mine grew up so fast, it seems like centuries ago.’

‘How did you cope with it? Mine aren’t even one and I’m already struggling with it,’ he chuckled.

Kavan ran a hand through his white hair and leaned back in his chair. The males around them fell into a merry chatter, some of them — the older war lords — continuing to frown at his now sleeping daughter.

‘You stay around them as much as you can, or as much as they allow you. Alas, I only have one daughter, and she was hell after she turned ten, especially after the passing of her mother. The boys were too young to mourn her death, so it was easier with them.’

Despite his bright smile, Cassian didn’t miss the utter grief in his eyes; he’d known Lícia, fought with her, even. One of the few Illyrian female warriors that was killed during an ambush on her camp — she’d died protecting her three children. Kavan had been on another war front at that time, but when news reached them that her camp had been attacked, he went white with fear. Cassian knew — he’d been there. He’d never seen an Illyrian fly faster than him, leaving a trace of pure, undiluted terror in his wake.

When the others, Cassian included, caught up with him and reached the camp, he’d found him in the ruins of what was once their home, screaming at the skies whilst holding Lícia’s lifeless, wingless body in his arms. Not far away from them, huddled behind a broken wall, was a young girl, trembling from head to toe and shielding a young boy of four and the bassinet with her youngest brother in it, another boy of just a couple of months old. Cassian could never forget the mournful wails of Kavan and the sight of his little girl, Cahira, terrified to the core but ready to protect her brothers to the death.

It was a miracle the assailants hadn’t murdered them, too. But Kavan’s revenge on them… Oh, it had been gruesome. It went on for months, months in which he hadn’t been himself. But who could blame him? Losing one’s love was worse than death.

‘I still think about it,’ he admitted. ‘I’m sorry, my friend. She deserved much more.’

The corners of his mouth turned downwards. ‘I know. It’s been decades since she died but I still miss her. It gets easier, and the wound heals, but it never fades. I’ve made my peace with it, since I get to see her in my children.’

‘How are they? I heard Cahira’s a hell of a fighter. Got stationed in the Steppes?’

‘Yes, but she’s aiming for the mountains. She’s…’ Kavan shook his head, fumbling with his fingers. ‘She’s fierce. Fiercer than her mother, which says a lot. She has a gentle heart, but I know she still harbours resentment for what those males did to Lícia. How they targeted her because she was rising in station, and back then it was a blasphemy for a woman. She wants to make the camps are a safe place for women, but I still worry that it’s too soon.’

‘It’s not. It’s about damn time some things changed, and I’ll make sure it happens before my own girls can turn old enough to realise what’s happening in our world.’

‘Her brother thinks the same. Finley is also stationed in the same camp with her, while Larken is travelling the continent right now. He’s an adventurer, that one. Won’t plant roots anywhere for at least another fifty years.’

Cassian laughed, remembering his youngest son, a bright child who always laughed. ‘Maybe you’ll join him on his adventures one day.’

‘Are you joking? You think your children will want you supervising them forever? Oh, you just wait,’ he laughed. ‘Wait until they sneak out to meet their lovers and lie to your face about it. Younglings are skilled liars.’

Mortified, Cassian glanced at Rheya, who was drooling on his shoulder. ‘I really hope that won’t happen until you’re at least thirty.’

‘Good luck with that,’ Kavan added, then proceeded to begin the meeting.

* * *

Twenty minutes in and Rheya began screaming.

Not crying — screaming at the top of her lungs. One of the Fae actually pointed out that she had some strong lungs for such a small baby, and despite the fact that he was struggling to calm her down, Cassian felt somewhat proud of that. Yes, she was noisy, but at least she was impressive at the same time.

‘Oh come on, sweetheart, can you be quiet for another five minutes? Please? We can go see the ducks afterwards!’ he kept whispering to her, rocking her around the room while the others attempted to continue the conversation.

‘I say we ambush them at night,’ said one of the older lords. ‘Set their rogue legions on fire as a warning.’

‘We can’t kill them all,’ said another. ‘They’re young, maybe we can still sway them to our side.’

‘Sway them?! You’d wish to befriend someone who would call you friend in the light of day then slit your throat at night?!’

‘He has a point,’ agreed another.

‘We can’t allow them to rebel any longer. They’re raiding the nearby villages, killing the ones who dare oppose them and even claiming territory as if they have the power to do that. Their numbers are rising, and we can’t pretend that it’s not happening. If this continues, they’ll head down south, and I sure as hell am not allowing them to attack my own camp,’ said Arion, fists raised in protest.

The others joined him, hitting the wooden table with their ale in agreement.

‘We should barricade them in their camps,’ offered Cillian, a seasoned lieutenant. ‘Goad ‘em in and cut off all their supplies. You think they’ll last for long without provisions? Winter will come soon, and they’ll need food and furs. I give them three months until they surrender, and we do this without any bloodshed.’

Cassian listened carefully to all their proposals while rocking his daughter and giving her random things to hold in the hope that it’ll calm her down. One of them would glare at him from time to time, but they turned around as soon as his hand went for his dagger.

‘No, killing is more efficient. Not all of them, just a few. We need to send out a warning to those who also plan on rebelling.’

‘Killing will only fuel them more,’ observed Kavan. ‘They’re young, they lust for power. You think killing some of them will calm them down? It will just give them more reasons to oppose us.’

‘What do you propose, then?’ asked Angus.

Kavan raised his shoulders. ‘What is it they seek? More land and money? Better conditions? Bloodshed?’

‘All of them,’ muttered someone. ‘As you said, they’re young.’

‘Young and foolish to think that they can take on the entire fucking army. As soon as I lay my eyes upon them I’ll hang them by their intestines and make them choke on their own cocks, after—‘

‘Language, there’s a child here!’

All eyes snapped towards Cassian, who cursed under his breath.

The man who said those words, Mattias, rolled his eyes and shook his head with disappointment. ‘I’ve lived to hear the fearsome Commander of the Night Court scold us for our foul language. We are doomed.’

The tent boomed with their laughter, which somehow piqued Rheya’s interest, because she stopped long enough to stare at the group of men with fascination.

‘Mama?’

‘Your mother isn’t here right now, thank the Cauldron for that,’ he said, resuming his seat. He sat Rheya on his knees and she picked up a wooden soldier from the table, marvelling at it. ‘I have listened to all of your options, and I think Cillian is right. We should isolate them until they run out of resources. But we can’t let them off the hook easily, either, so I suggest we take out those who began this movement. Publicly, of course. Sends a better message.’

‘And what if the rest revolt afterwards?’

Cassian shrugged. ‘Then we have the perfect excuse to kill them all. It’s not like we’re running short on rebel Illyrians these days. All in favour?’

They all yelled ‘aye’, with some reluctant ones in the back, but no one refused him. As they concluded the most important task, they stood up and gathered in circles to talk while others went outside for a brawl or two. Cassian was aching for one, but he didn’t want to leave Rheya alone even for a second here. Nesta would murder him if she’d find out.

He wanted to discuss about the Blood Rite with Angus, but Rheya burst into tears one more time. It was sharper this time — she was hungry.

‘It’s okay, darling, I have your bottle right here, hang on,’ he said, balancing her on his hip while rummaging through her bag.

‘Seriously, Cassian, you need to learn how to shut your kid up. This isn’t even a man’s business, it’s degrading!’

He uncapped the bottle of milk with one hand and popped it into her mouth, which calmed her down at once.

‘Arkin, you’re lucky I’m in a good mood today, otherwise I would’ve broken your wings for even saying that crap. No wonder your wife’s screwing every male in the camp behind your back.’

‘Behind his back?’ Cillian laughed. ‘Please, everyone knows it. Half of the males in this tent screwed her!’

They all laughed, Cassian included, as Arkin reddened and sputtered some threats.

‘Please, we know you’re not gonna do shit,’ laughed Dagen, a young Illyrian from the same camp as Arken. ‘Your wife would beat your ass before we’d get to you. She values the meetings we have with her. Gotta keep our females satisfied before they leave us for the High Fae.’

‘Wait, isn’t your wife the redhead one with a mean swing?’ yelled Zyphir, coming around the table to face Arken. ‘I’ll be damned, that woman bested me in combat months ago and then fucked the brains out of me! Shit, Arken, what the hell is she doing with a sorry lad like you? Is she a masochist by any chance?’

‘Come on, we all know she keeps him around for his deep pockets,’ offered Cassian. ‘Half of his fortune went into her wardrobe.’

As they mocked the shit out of that idiot, then moved on to another, Cassian joining them with obvious satisfaction, Rheya fell back asleep in his arms. It seemed like not even these boisterous males could stop her from sleeping.


	9. Chapter 9

_18 months old_

‘Evie, slow down, you’re going to fall and split your lip again!’ called Nesta.

‘No!’ the girl yelled, running around the living room while Nesta chased her.

‘Don’t you want to eat something yummy? I made cupcakes, your favourites!’

‘Nonono don’t want to!’

As she always did, Evie hid behind the couch, saying very loudly ‘bye bye mama!’, and laughing. Nesta couldn’t help but laugh as well, because when she glanced over the couch to see what she was up to, Evie was flipping the pages of a book and pointing at the images.

‘Horse!’

‘Yes, that’s a horse, good job!’

She flipped a few more pages, stopping to analyse a battle scene. For some reason, Evie wasn’t interested in any of the baby books she had — even the ones Feyre painted for them — and preferred the ones she could barely carry but had tons of old sketches and descriptions or warriors and battles.

‘Dada?’ she asked, pointing to a soldier with long hair and a spear.

‘No, that’s not daddy, that’s… Roland the Terrible,’ she read, wincing. ‘Former High Lord of the Night Court, used to strike fear by using… Okay, this is not a good book, let’s read something else!’

Nesta attempted to pick her up and lure her to their room, where they kept they toys (a lie; there were toys all over the house now), but Evie was faster. So damn fast for a toddler.

She stood up and ran towards the stairs, where she climbed them one by one on all fours. Nesta stood right behind her, making sure she wouldn’t trip again and bust her lip like she did last week (a true horror story, she cried for the entire day).

‘Good job Evie, you’re doing great!’

She was also slow, but it was probably best not to point that out to a toddler who needed to be encouraged even when she peed or pooped in the potty.

She had gotten so damn big. Both of them had. Evie had half of her dark hair wrapped in a ponytail on top of her hair, while her blue leggings and white t-shirt were stained with the strawberries she ate ten minutes ago. Evie loved strawberries and any other kind of fruit, but she tended to be very messy when it came to eating them.

She also loved running. Evie was the first one to walk at 10 months old, followed shorty by Rheya. Cassian and her had been so happy about it that they both cried. Not long after that, they began walking them up at the crack of dawn by standing up all by themselves in their cribs (which they had to lower, so they wouldn’t climb over) and crying for food and attention. Sometimes both.

When they also began to run around, things got complicated. They kept them on their toes, because they got tired harder now and loved exploring the house. Usually they’d play together and exchange toys, but they had different preferences. While Evie loved running around, screaming random words and dragging her toys around, Rheya liked drawing, throwing things in their faces and playing games. She was also crankier than Evie; if they’d tell her no, she’d throw a tantrum. She hated not getting her way.

Evie knew immediately where her father and sister were, so she kept pointing to the door handle and saying ‘open door momma’ in her baby language. Nesta became good at deciphering their sentences.

As soon as she opened the door, Evie ran towards her father, who was in the middle of sparring with Azriel. They both stopped, dropping their wooden staffs, while Evie clung to his leg and began talking. About what, she wasn’t sure.

‘You did what? Wow, I can’t believe that! And then what? Tell me more, tell me more!’

He picked her up and spun her around, making her laugh and throw back her head in excitement. Noticing the attention her sister was getting, Rheya stood up from the mat where she was colouring and ran towards them.

‘Me too!’

Before Nesta could offer, Azriel picked her up and spun her. She held on to his neck while laughing wildly, her wings fluttering faster and faster.

‘They’re going to puke on you if you keep doing that!’ she warned them, but they didn’t listen. Azriel eventually stopped and hoisted her on his shoulders, making her kick her legs as hard as she could into his chest and ask to be shown around the room. As always, Azriel indulged her; he always played with them, sometimes for hours. Rheya was particularly fond of him, calling him ‘Aliel’ and tugging his wings whenever she could. It took her a while to realise that she also had the same wings, only smaller, so now she flared them wide open whenever he was around. Cassian was very jealous of that.

Cassian was still throwing Evie up and down, making her laugh while she screaming ‘more more more dadda!’

He indulged her as well.

‘Do you want me to take them so you can train?’

‘No,’ they said at the same time, making her laugh.

‘Look there, see that? That’s a bow, like the one your auntie Feyre uses!’ said Azriel, pointing to one of the bows they kept inside an enormous glass showcase, so the girls couldn’t get to them.

‘What that?’ Rheya asked, pointing to a spiked flail.

‘Something which hopefully you won’t have to use,’ he answered, moving to other weapons.

‘Aren’t you worried that your daughter is already interested in weapons?’ Nesta asked Cassian, who sat down so Evie could pull his wings. At first she worried that both him and Azriel would mind it, since Illyrians didn’t like having their wings touched without permission, but they never denied them. Not when they were so curious and fascinated by them.

‘I hope that was a joke,’ he replied, grinning. ‘It’s basically a dream come true. Right, Evie?’

‘Wings!’

‘Exactly!’

Nesta laughed, sitting down next to him. ‘We need to go to the House of Wind in a couple of hours, so I’ll go prepare first and then I’ll take them and dress them. Did you get Mor’s gift?’

‘Yes, it’s in your study. Do you need help with them?’

‘No, you finish training and I’ll come in half an hour. Come here, Evie!’

As soon as she saw her mother opening her arms, Evie launched herself towards Nesta. She was an affectionate baby; but only when it suited her.

‘We go bye bye?’ she asked, pulling her by the ears, as she always did.

‘Yes, we are going to go to your aunt Mor’s birthday party! Are you excited?’

Hearing Mor’s name, Evie’s face lit up. ‘Mol’s bilthday? When?’

‘In a couple of hours. Do you want to go and change into your dress?’

‘Hell no!’ she exclaimed, going back to examining Cassian’s wings, who was attempting hard not to laugh. As soon as he saw her furious face, he attempted to calm himself.

‘This is your fault. You swear all the time!’

‘I don’t swear around them! You’re the one who swears when you’re talking to the Fae from work!’

‘That’s not true! Yesterday, Rheya said _‘fuck’_ to Evie, and then they both repeated it until I had to bribe them with sweets!’ she whisper-yelled.

‘Where the hell did she hear that?’ he frowned, then winced when he realised what he said. ‘Shit, I’m sorry, that slipped.’

‘Shit!’ repeated Evie, dragging her sticky fingers down his wings.

Before she could scream his ears off, Nesta stomped off.

Fucking idiot.

* * *

‘What do you want to do? Do you want to colour with your sister?’

Evie glanced briefly at her sister, who was showing Azriel her masterpieces and explaining them to him, and pursued her lips.

‘No.’

‘Then what do you want to do?’

_Please don’t go for the staff, please don’t go for the staff…_

Cassian sighed as his daughter did exactly that, attempting to pick it up with her tiny hands.

‘Fight?’ she asked, flashing him a toothy grin.

‘Your mom thinks you’re too young for fighting, you know.’

Evie looked around at the mention of her mother and frowned. ‘Mommy’s not here.’

‘I know, she’s getting dressed downstairs.’

‘Fight!’ she exclaimed, dragging the staff and pushing it in his open palm, making him laugh.

‘And your mom thought you wouldn’t be warriors. You’re a natural at this!’

Evie clapped her hands as she usually did when she realised that she was being praised, though Cassian wasn’t sure if she knew what for. His daughter just loved the attention, and man, she was getting tons of it.

As he indulged her and showed her how to hold the staff, Evie wouldn’t stop trying to run away with it towards Rheya, who was still preoccupied with Azriel. Every now and then she would look up to see her sister drag around the staff, squeaking whenever Cassian picked his up and spun it with one hand. Soon enough Rheya became interested and abandoned Azriel, running towards them and sitting down next to Evie to watch their father.

‘Shall we give them a show?’ he asked Azriel.

‘Might as well. We can finish training and I can beat your ass at the same time, so it’s a win-win situation.’

‘You’re a d-i-c-k,’ he said, making Azriel smirk. ‘Come on, give me your best.’

Sometimes Cassian spelled out swear words so the girls wouldn’t understand, but it didn’t bring him the same satisfaction as fully swearing his brother.

They convinced the girls to sit down on the training mat, far away from them, while they resumed their training. It was one of the few ways in which Cassian could get them both to sit still for more than two minutes — even though sometimes they’d just start rolling around on the matt and playing. Now that they could also talk, the girls began to communicate better with each other, even if it was just to point towards stuff they wanted or saying a bunch of random words they heard.

Cassian sneaked a look at them while dodging one of Azriel’s hits, bending his knees so the staff wouldn’t hit his neck. They were so big now, it baffled him. They grew up so fast.

And they were both a menace.

While they pretty much looked the same — except their hair: Evie had darker hair and Rheya lighter — their personalities were so, so different. Rheya liked smart games, colouring, talking their ears off, listening to stories, playing with animals and feeding the ducks in the pond near their house. She also hated strangers, loved eating on her own and wouldn’t sleep without that damn doll that Amren got her months ago. Evie was loud in all ways; she didn’t usually talk, she screamed words. She cried if they didn’t pay attention to her, loved ripping pages from books and staring at their pictures, ran as fast as her toddler legs could carry her, threw stuff in their faces and was absolutely fascinated by fighting — that was something they both had in common. Unlike her sister, Evie loved attention, people doting on her (all of her aunts and uncles, basically) and eating sweets.

They were a handful.

‘Did you get Mor a present?’ he asked Azriel, blocking another attack and hitting him as hard as he could.

‘Asshole,’ he muttered low enough that the girls couldn’t hear. ‘I managed to track down that magic mirror she wanted.’

‘What for?’

‘To spy on her enemies. You know she’s a vengeful person.’

‘Yeah, that makes sense. Will Elain come as well?’

At the mention of his lover, Azriel’s lips formed a small, almost imperceptible smile.

‘Of course. She’s excited to see the twins.’

‘Until one of them will get tired and throw a tantrum,’ he sighed. ‘I’m wondering which one will break first.’

‘Evie, obviously. How is that even a question?’

‘I hope so, because if Rheya has one, nothing will calm her down. She’s as stubborn as her mother, I swear.’

They both laughed at the accuracy of his statement. Rheya was a stubborn child, even when it came to sharing her things with Evie, and she was her twin — it took lots of talking and persuasion from them to convince her to share even a damn teddy bear with Evie, who usually resorted to snatching it from her arms.

‘Wait until they start actually fighting with each other.’

That thought distracted him long enough for Azriel to land a rather painful blow, making him wince. ‘I’m genuinely afraid of that. Gods know how we’ll calm them down when _that_ happens.’

‘Just make them take it out in the ring, like Illyrians. After a few broken noses or fingers they’ll stop.’

‘I suggested that, but Nesta said that civilised Fae don’t do that. I told her that my children are also Illyrians, therefore uncivilised, so that means they can do it. She wasn’t too happy about that.’

‘I’m Illyrian and I’m civilised,’ he said dryly.

‘Who lied to you?’

That made Azriel hit him hard enough that his staff broke in two. The twins clapped.

‘I guess I won,’ he winked.

* * *

‘Will you put on your shoes now?’

‘No!’

‘Come on Rheya, we’ll be late—‘

‘No no no!’

Cassian sighed, contemplating sedating his daughter.

‘Please?’ he asked, forcing a smile on his face.

Rheya regarded him, playing with her shoe that she didn’t want to put on. Then she slowly shook her head, throwing that shoe behind her.

‘Oh for the love of the gods…’

‘Cassian, are you two done? We’re late already!’

Nesta appeared in the doorway, holding Evie in her arms, all dressed up and playing with the bow in her hair.

‘Why do you look so murderous?’

‘She doesn’t want to put on her shoes,’ he said, exasperated. ‘Again.’

‘You’ve been trying to get her to put on her shoes for the past twenty minutes?’

‘Yes.’

‘That’s sad. Move over, I’ll do it. Take Evie.’

Cassian gladly took Evie from Nesta’s arms while she picked up the shoe Rheya had thrown and sat down in front of her. Nesta had a way with words, everyone knew that, but she was so good at convincing their kids, it was almost frightening; while Cassian stood in the doorway with Evie in his arms, who was tugging on his hair, Nesta sweet talked their daughter into putting on her shoes in less than three minutes.

‘How did you do that?’

As she stood up, Nesta winked at him. ‘Find your own techniques.’

Now that she was fully facing him, Cassian could do nothing but gawk at his mate.

‘You look exquisite,’ he said, a little breathless.

At that, she smiled brightly. This was a new dress, fit for the occasion — completely black in the upper part and slowly changing into a soft cream, with a plunging neckline that shimmered when the light hit just right. The lower part was billowy and showed off her legs whenever she walked, making him gape at the high heels she wore. He knew better than to ask her if they were uncomfortable or not, but Cassian had to admit that they made her look absolutely delicious. He wouldn’t have objected if he threatened to gut him with them.

And to his utter surprise, Nesta had her hair down, some curls pinned to the back with a glittering silver headband. It was so long, it reached her elbows, framing her gorgeous face. Nesta rarely wore her hair down in public — she preferred to have it braided and secured, which made her look more formal and serious. Cassian’s heart always melted whenever she asked him to unbraid it and comb it; probably because she knew how much he loved seeing her like that. It made her look younger, more vulnerable.

‘At least it’s not tight enough to make me look fat.’

Cassian’s spell broke and he groaned loudly.

‘Don’t start with that. You dropped all the weight you gained with the pregnancy in a couple of months, you look better than before!’

Oh fuck. Wrong thing to say.

‘You mean I didn’t look good before?’

‘No, I mean that you’re more toned now from all the training with Feyre. And stronger. Motherhood looks absolutely stunning on you, sweetheart.’

‘You’re lucky we’re late, otherwise I would’ve started an argument about that.’

Thank the gods.

‘You also look very handsome,’ she said, closing the space between them. ‘Too bad we’re in a hurry.’

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him, ignoring the fact that both of their daughters began to lose their patience and kept tugging at them. Cassian didn’t mind; he was too caught up in his kiss with his beautiful, fiery mate.

‘Will you ever stop teasing me?’

Nesta pulled back just a bit, giving him her best intimate smile.

‘Never, my love. Fortunately, the girls will be tired after we return and won’t take them long to fall asleep, so you can tease me all you want.’

‘Gods, I hope it’ll be a short party.’

* * *

To their dismay, the party was definitely not going to be short. Everyone knew that Mor had a thing for grand parties, but when it came to her birthday, she went all out. The ballroom of the House of Wind had been transformed into a full on gala with magic, ice sculptures, chocolate fountains, singers and the most enchanting dances Nesta had ever seen. She needed to glance once at the long tables filled with the most elegant-looking food to know that this party probably costed more than she wanted to know.

‘Look at that,’ whispered Cassian, staring at an enormous ice sculpture. ‘Why would someone want an ice sculpture of themselves while putting on a crown?’

‘She knows she’s not actually a queen, right?’ Nesta whispered back.

‘Try convincing her of that.’

They navigated through all types of Fae dressed in their finery and mingling around, all of them sipping the most colourful beverages Nesta had ever seen. Cassian held both of their girls in his arms while they gawked at the Fae around them, sometimes pointing at the ones they found more intriguing. They were hoping to spot Mor, but her sister spotted her first.

‘You made it! Oh, Nesta, you look so beautiful!’

‘You do too, Feyre,’ she said, hugging her sister.

Feyre did look exquisite. She was wearing a black, tight dress that seemed impossible to breathe in, which matched her crown with obsidian stones.

‘And look at you two! You’re so cute, I could eat you right now! Oh my Gods, look at your pretty dresses!’

Evie immediately extended her arms to Feyre, who gladly took her in her arms while kissing Rheya’s cheek, though she batted her away a second later.

‘She’s in a mood,’ Cassian explained. ‘Are you hungry?’

Rheya seemed to think about it for a second, then nodded.

‘I’ll go get her something to eat. See you three in a bit.’

‘Don’t feed her—‘

‘I know!’ he yelled behind his shoulder, Rheya waving them bye-bye. All three of them waved back, Evie looking a bit conflicted about the two of them walking away, but distracted enough by her aunt to pay them too much attention.

‘So, where is Mor?’

‘Talking, dancing, eating, I have no idea. I only saw her once tonight.’

They walked to a remote table, which was filled with sculpted fruit. There was even a watermelon who had roses carved into it, which seemed more than extra, but decided not to point it out.

‘And your mate?’

‘Last I saw him, he was talking to some of his friends from the Dawn Court.’

‘Rhysand has friends?’

‘I know, I’m also surprised. When were you going to tell me that you’re going to that meeting in the Hewn city?’

As Feyre balanced Evie on her knees, she tried — and failed — to find an acceptable answer.

‘It’s work, Feyre. I have to.’

‘No you don’t,’ she replied. ‘Is Cassian okay with you going there again?’

‘Not really, but he knows Azriel will be there in case things get out of hand, but I doubt that will happen. Plus, I’m more than capable of taking care of myself. I’m no longer pregnant.’

Feyre ran a hand down Evie’s long hair while she played with the gems of her own red dress. ‘I know, but it can still be dangerous. Some of the Fae there still hold a grudge after what Cassian did to those despicable creatures.’

‘It’s an important meeting, I have to go. It’ll only take a couple of hours, anyway. And I won’t be alone.’

Feyre nodded, but there was still worry on her face, so Nesta took her hand in hers and squeezed it. ‘I’ll be fine, Fey, don’t you worry about me. Plus, I told Cassian that you’d come and help him with the girls, that is if you’re not busy with your High Lady duties.’

Judging by her growing smile, Nesta knew that she managed to ensnare her baby sister. Feyre loved hanging out with the twins, so now she had a free pass to go and do her job without worrying that she’ll pop up and ruin the meeting.

After what had happened at that banquet months ago, Nesta had been reluctant to go back to the Hewn city, but this was an emergency. They needed to seal the deal on a trading agreement and Nesta had to be personally there to make sure that they didn’t include any shady clauses, and she trusted no one to take care of that except herself. Cassian insisted on going with her, and was very vehement about her going on her own, but after persuading him to stay home with the twins, he relented.

It took her two days to convince him, which said a lot. It usually took her a couple of hours on important matters.

‘Nesta, Evie, hi!’

Mor appeared out of nowhere, flute of champagne in one hand and what appeared to be a bouquet of flowers — no, not just flowers, _gemstones_ that had the shape of flowers — in the other. Her long, blond hair was powdered with golden glitter, which matched her red, off the shoulders dress. It was absolutely spectacular, sewn with tiny stones and shimmering in the light, framing her gorgeous body. Mor truly looked like a queen.

‘What’s up with the bouquet?’ Feyre asked before Nesta had a chance to.

Mor casted a fleeting glance at the bouquet, then put it on the table.

‘A gift from Helios — one of them, actually. That male can _not_ get a clue.’

‘Happy birthday, Mor. I wish you all the best, but it seems like you have it all.’

Mor laughed and pulled Nesta into a tight hug. She hugged her back, smiling softly.

‘Truer words have never been spoken. Thank you, Nesta. Now let me see my beautiful and adorable niece! Come here, baby!’

Noticing her favourite aunt, Evie let out a loud screech, extending her arms towards Mor. Feyre seemed a bit put off by that, which amused Nesta terribly.

‘You know, the invitation clearly stated that no one except me can wear red, but I’ll make an exception. You’re just so cute in this dress, and look at your curls!’

Evie laughed and squealed as Mor pinched her cheeks and hopped her up and down.

‘We didn’t even receive an invitation, you just told us to come while we were having dinner by the Rainbow!’

‘Really? Oh, my bad then. Can I take her for a dance? Roslyn will die at the sight of her! I promise I won’t let her out of my arms.’

‘Sure, go ahead. We’ll be right here.’

Mor squealed louder than her daughter and disappeared in less than a second, going away to show Evie off.

* * *

‘What about this? Do you like this?’

Cassian watched as Rheya tasted some lemon pie, squinting her blue eyes at the sour taste of it. He laughed.

‘I guess not.’

‘Cheese?’ she asked hopefully, looking around the table to find her favourite snack.

‘Why do you eat so much cheese?’

Rheya shrugged, still not paying him much attention. As soon as Cassian located a plate filled with all sorts of cheese, he picked it up and held it in front of Rheya to have her pick.

‘Mor nearly pushed me into one of the tanks filled with koi fish because I forgot to invite the pond nymphs. I didn't even know we have pond nymphs here!’

Cassian glanced at Rhys and pursued his lips in an attempt to not laugh. His brother was in a mood.

‘She wanted the cupcakes to be powdered with golden dust. _Actual_ golden dust. And invited magicians and sorcerers for magic tricks and whatnot.’

‘Rhys, do you remember that one birthday party that turned into an orgy? What was it, your thirtieth? I remember Helios was so excited, he almost passed out.’

At the mention of that particular event, Rhys paled. ‘Don’t you dare mention that to Feyre. I was young and foolish.’

‘You did it three years in a row, though.’

‘And if memory serves me right, you also slept with gods know how many Fae during those parties! You slept with Viviane’s sister, cousin, two of those princesses from the continent, even the one who threatened to gut you a week before, the barmaid—‘

‘Okay, I got your point, shut up or my daughter will think I’m a man whore!’ he said, whispering the last word.

Rhys smirked at Rheya, who was munching on her cheese. ‘Can’t hide your true nature from your kids.’

‘You’re lucky my arms are full, or otherwise I would’ve made you regret those words.’

‘Are you also going to teach them to beat the Fae who annoy them instead of solving the issues in a civilised manner?’

Cassian blinked, confused. ‘Of course. What kind of question is that? Words are fleeting, a broken nose or arm will stick longer.’

‘Unbelievable. It’s a miracle no one killed you.’

‘Many tried, all failed.’

Rhys just shook his head, moving his attention towards his daughter. ‘How can you stand him, Rheya?’

Rheya looked up at him and shrugged again.

‘Traitor,’ he murmured to his daughter, who went back to eating.

They talked about things they probably shouldn’t mention in front of a toddler, but when a familiar face stopped by, grinning like a fiend and covered in golden glitter, they both sighed.

‘I saw him half an hour ago, he was hitting on Feyre. And me.’

‘Really? Did you punch him?’

‘No, I think that would’ve just turned him on more.’

Helion, glorious as ever, approached Cassian and Rhys with the purpose of making more inappropriate jokes, but as soon as he saw Rheya, a different sort of expression crossed his face. Disbelief.

‘On my stars, Cassian, I thought the reports on you were false or someone was trying to pull a prank on me—‘

‘You receive reports on me?’

‘— but I didn’t actually think you had a _child_.’

‘Two, actually. Twins. Wait a second, you even sent us gifts when they were born!’

Helion looked absolutely stricken. Rhys laughed.

‘I have servants that do that for me. Are they with _Nesta?’_

Unsure of himself, Cassian nodded. Rhys only laughed harder.

‘And she _agreed_ to it?’

‘Obviously!’

Helion placed a hand on his hip, looking at his daughter with suspicion. ‘Are we talking about the same Nesta Archeron, the one who scared five of my ambassadors to death during a meeting, threw one in the dungeons for a night because he made a joke about the Human Realms and broke another’s feet after insulting you? Well, now that I think of it, it kind of makes sense. That girl used to snarl each time someone said something bad about you, and I witnessed that firsthand. I still can’t believe she turned me down years ago.’

Cassian couldn’t help but grin, feeling a sudden burst of pride and gratefulness for his mate. Gods, he loved that woman.

‘What is her name?’

‘Rheya.’

‘She doesn’t look like you,’ he said, leaning closer to analyse his daughter. ‘Are you sure she’s yours?’

‘Helion, I swear on all the gods that—‘

‘I’m just joking, you brute. Gods, you people have no humour. Can I hold her?’

At that, both Rhys and Cassian exchanged a confused look. Hold her?

‘You don’t even like children,’ pointed out Rhys.

‘Yes, well, I find yours to be sort of adorable, but only because she looks just like Nesta, and she’s absolutely divine. The heart wants what it wants. I won’t drop her, Cassian, I’ve held children before, now pass her to me.’

Cassian already knew how that was going to end, but he saw no wrong in letting him hold Rheya before she’d go off. Rhys also knew that his daughter was extremely temperamental when it came to strangers and was patiently waiting to see how this one was going to end up.

‘Fine,’ he said, putting down the cheese plate and placing Rheya in Helion’s open arms. ‘Don’t hold her like a newborn, smartass, she’ll get pissed. Watch her wings.’

To his credit, Helion managed to hold Rheya upright, a smile blooming on his face. ‘I’ll have to admit, Cassian, for the first time in your life, you actually helped create something impressible.’

That, he couldn’t deny. For all the things he had done in his life, all the battles he had fought and won, enemies that he’d slain, Fae that he’d helped, Cassian was most proud of his two little girls. They were both a blessing, even on their worst days — which weren’t rare, now that he thought of it.

‘Can you talk?’

Rheya, who was still holding a piece of cheese, looked at Helion with curious eyes. Her hair, which Nesta had managed to pull up in a cute ponytail with a blue bow, which matched her blue dress, had fallen out in long curls that brushed her shoulders. It was a nuisance for her, because she kept trying to get it out of her face, but she rarely let any of them do her hair.

‘Yes,’ she answered in a wary tone.

‘What’s your name?’

Rheya mumbled her name, which sounded something like ‘weyah’, since she could’t properly pronounce r’s.

Helion’s mouth hung open. ‘She can talk?!’

‘Gods above,’ Cassian muttered.

‘Do you actually know anything about children, Helion?’ asked Rhys.

‘I know they’re messy and cry a lot.’

‘Can’t argue that,’ said Cassian.

While he ate one of those golden-dusted cupcakes (just to annoy Rhys, that kept saying that they taste bland anyway), Helion attempted to talk to his daughter, which was quickly running out of patience.

‘Oh, look, she’s almost out of cheese,’ Rhys pointed out, smirking. ‘She already looks annoyed.’

‘I hope she barfs on him.’

To his dismay, Rheya didn’t, but she did throw the last bit of cheese she had straight in his face and inhaled once before starting to scream, cry and kick her legs as hard as she could.

Helion, shocked and unaware of how to cope with a crying toddler, held her towards Cassian with a desperate look in his eyes. ‘Please take her, I think she’s broken or something,’ he pleaded.

‘She seems to like you,’ he laughed, right when Rheya managed to hit him in the eye with her tiny fist.

Before he could drop her, Rhys took her in his arms, running his hand up and down her back in an attempt to calm her. ‘Did the bad male annoy you? Don’t worry, love, he annoys everyone.’

Rheya rested her head on Rhys’ chest and began to babble something incoherent. Her crying ceased almost immediately, since she was being held by someone she was familiar with.

‘Is the other one like her as well?’ Helion asked, rubbing his face.

‘Do you want to find out?’

Hearing that, Helion disappeared, making up an excuse about needing to see an old acquaintance or lover. They both laughed at his hurried stride; lucky he hadn’t been around when Lucien was a baby.

‘Can you watch her for a bit? I should probably find Mor and tell her happy birthday, otherwise she’ll flip out like she did last year.’

‘Of course. We’ll just go on the balcony so she can eat in peace. What do you say, Rheya?’

Rheya nodded vigorously, smiling at her uncle’s face. Charming bastard.

* * *

Three hours later and the bunch of them were secluded on a balcony, toasting at a table and laughing at childhood memories. Viviane had joined them a while ago, seated beside Roslyn, whose cheeks were pink from laughing so much at their embarrassing stories.

‘I remember when we were sixteen or seventeen and Cassian fancied this girl from the war camp,’ began Azriel, which made Cassian groan instantly.

‘Do you really have to say that one?’

‘Shh, I want to hear it!’ Nesta said.

The girls were sleeping soundly in the bassinets next to Nesta — they had spares here, obviously. She was sitting at the round table next to Elain and Cassian, who was beginning to look more and more uncomfortable.

‘And we advised him to ask her out, be straightforward about what he wanted, impress her maybe, and he said that he’d do it the following day.’

‘Oh, and he certainly did,’ chuckled Rhys.

‘What did he do?’ asked Feyre, grinning like a mad cat.

‘He thought that by ‘asking her out’ we meant proposition her. So he found her in the meadows after training, took off his pants and asked her if she wanted to be impressed.’

Everyone burst into laughing — especially Nesta, whose stomach began to ache from how hard she laughed.

‘Give me a break, it’s not like we had fancy restaurants to go to in the mountains!’ Cassian complained, crossing his arms while they all laughed.

‘What did that poor girl say?’ asked Elain, wiping away her tears.

‘She didn’t say anything,’ he mumbled. ‘She just punched me.’

That made them laugh even harder.

‘You obviously have a type for feisty females,’ said Rhys.

‘Should I mention how many times you challenged older Illyrians to drinking contests because they said you’re a prissy, and Az and I had to carry you back home while you vomited every five minutes?’

At that, Rhys stopped laughing, but that didn’t stop the rest of them.

‘And you,’ Cassian pointed towards Azriel, ‘remember that time when we were camping and there was this High Fae girl you liked and later that day you peed in a bush that was actually poison ivy and got that horrible rash that had you screaming for the entire night?’

‘Okay, don’t—‘

‘You had blisters all over your dick and that girl walked in on us staring at it! She never spoke to us again!’

‘Oh my gods,’ gasped Mor, laughing.

While they all laughed with tears, poor Azriel turned red, though even he looked slightly amused by the memory.

The party raged on while they remained on that balcony and talked. After a while Kallias joined them, sitting down next to his wife and looking rather horrified at their embarrassing stories, and not long after that Helion appeared, slightly drunk and gorgeous as ever. He dragged a seat next to Nesta and attempted to flirt with her, and when Cassian said that he had no qualms about punching High Lords, Helion assured him that he was more than welcome to join them in the bed.

Feyre fell deep into conversation with Tarquin, who also made an appearance. Rhys, Viviane and Mor began doing shots to commemorate her fourteenth birthday, which is when she got drunk the first time, and Elain and Roslyn were chatting about their trades. Azriel and Kallias watched with great pleasure how Helion continued to compliment Nesta while Cassian kept trying to keep his mouth shut.

‘And your body is absolutely heavenly, are you sure you gave birth? I swear you look better than the last time I saw you.’

Nesta laughed while Cassian groaned into his drink.

‘Az, what is the penalty for murdering a High Lord?’

‘I’m pretty sure it’s death.’

‘Really?’ he gave Helion a suspicious look. ‘For him? I was actually expecting a reward or something. With that big mouth of his, I doubt anyone would miss him.’

Helion, the sly bastard, leaned back on his chair, his muscles flexing. ‘Do you want to know how big my mouth is, Commander?’

And then, to Nesta’s utter astonishment, Helion looked pointedly at Cassian’s pants, rendering him speechless.

Nesta, Azriel and Kallias burst into laughter while Cassian, too taken aback to find a response, just stared at them.

‘I think I need another drink,’ he announced, running towards the bar inside.

This was going to be a long night.

* * *

They left well past midnight, when both the girls woke up cranky and were close to throwing a fit. Feyre winnowed them home, kissed the twins goodbye, and went straight to the townhouse to sleep.

Although they were both tired, they gave the girls a quick bath and Nesta dressed them in their pyjamas while Cassian made their bottles of warm milk with honey.

‘Alright, together or separate?’ she asked them after finishing combing Evie’s hair.

Rheya climbed up into Evie’s bed immediately, followed soon by her sister.

‘Do you want to sleep together?’

They both nodded and let Nesta tuck them in.

‘Tell a story?’ asked Rheya.

‘Aren’t you too tired for a story?’

They shook their heads, making Nesta chuckle.

‘Alright, what story do you want?’

‘The fairy one!’

Even though Nesta could barely see straight anymore, she told her daughters the story about the fairy village and how they lived and what they did while caressing their faces. Cassian joined them soon enough to give them their bottles, which they began to suckle on while listening intently to Nesta.

‘Do you want me to stay with them?’

‘No, you can go sleep. I’ll make sure they’ll asleep.’

And of course he didn’t leave. He sat down behind her so she could lean on him while finishing the story. Every now and then he’d chirp in with ludicrous facts about their made-up village, making the girls giggle. After they finished their milk they began to close their eyes, and soon enough fell asleep.

‘So much energy for such little kids,’ Nesta whispered.

‘Where does it even come from?’

Too tired to stand up, Nesta pulled one of their huge teddy bears and rested her head on it. Cassian leaned on it too, pulling Nesta close to his chest.

‘We were supposed to have sex tonight,’ she sighed.

‘We didn’t even have the energy to change our clothes, I think that having sex right now is a little bit unrealistic, sweetheart.’

Nesta smiled before she kissed her mate. ‘Tomorrow.’

‘Tomorrow,’ he agreed.

They fell asleep on their children’s floor, which they both regretted in the morning, when their whole bodies ached.


	10. Chapter 10

_2 years old_

Lounging in the sun on the banks of the river wasn’t necessarily one of Cassian’s favourite activities, but after a week of brutal training and a very sore… well, everything, he was quite enjoying it. His daughters were having the time of their lives as well — Rheya was sleeping soundly on his chest while Evie was splashing in the water with Rhys, who couldn’t stop laughing whenever she attempted to throw sand at him.

‘You almost hit me! Do it again!’

Cassian shook his head, moving the towel so it would cover Rheya’s head as well. Last thing he needed was for them to get a heatstroke.

‘Look at him, he acts like a child himself. And you all still call me childish?’

Azriel, who was laying on his back while reading a book, have him a curious glance. ‘A week ago you played with them in the sandbox for well over three hours. I know because I looked at the clock. A couple of days ago, at that meeting with the soldiers, you wouldn’t stop bragging about how they were already potty trained and batting their wings like pros. Leave Rhys be.’

Cassian frowned. ‘These are big milestones! And I love playing with them! You should see Nesta playing with the cubes with them, sometimes she keeps them up well past midnight to build castles.’

‘In conclusion, you are all children,’ he laughed.

Well, he had a point.

The beach was mostly empty, except for the few other Fae who tanned on sunbeds. It was abnormally hot; the sun was almost burning his skin, He made sure to cover the twins with sun protection twice before they went off to play, but Rheya got tired after just one hour and began crying. After rocking her back and forth a few times, humming her favourite song that Nesta would sing every night, she fell asleep. He looked at her peaceful face, her long, dark lashes and wet curls, smiling broadly. The fact that she was drooling on his chest was the cutest thing he had ever seen.

He watched as Rhys picked up a squealing Evie and headed into the water, letting her kick her legs in the water and splash him. A few Fae — mostly admiring youths — pointed to him and sighed with adoration. Typical. It seemed that females had a thing for males with babies, even though that meant they were usually spoken for. Gods knew how many attempted to hit on him when he was out with the twins.

‘Why doesn’t he just make one if he likes babies so much? Can’t be that difficult for him, he’s always getting laid.’

Azriel flipped another page, barely glancing at him. ‘You know, people always love babysitting other people’s kids and playing with them, but bail when they start crying or pooping. No one likes to deal with that.’

‘Oh, yes, remember when Rheya puked on you at that dinner party? It’s one of my fondest memories.’

‘Mine is when Nesta threw a dirty diaper at your head when you annoyed her.’

Cassian opened his mouth to say something, but Rhys interrupted them when he walked over with Evie in his arms, wet and grinning.

‘I swam!’ she exclaimed proudly. ‘And and there were fish as well! I saw a red and…’ she looked up at Rhys, who bent to pick up a towel from his sunbed.

‘And the orange ones,’ he added, wrapping the towel around her. ‘And the tiny crabs as well.’

She gaped, suddenly remembering about the crabs, then began talking about how cute and small they were. Cassian listened intently while Rhys sat down, holding her in his lap.

‘You don’t want to know how many times she kicked me,’ he said, running a hand through his wet hair. ‘Why are babies so violent?’

‘Have you seen their family history?’ asked Azriel. ‘They’re bound to be violent.’

Cassian glared at him. ‘You say it like it’s a bad thing. They’re Illyrians, they _should_ be violent. Good job hitting your uncle, Evie! High five!’

He leaned as much as he could and gave Evie a high five.

‘Thanks, I’ll do it again!’

‘No, you definitely won’t!’

"Can we go swim again?" she asked hopefully.

"I'd really love to, darling, but your sister is sleeping and I don't want to wake her up."

"Just throw her off."

Rhys snickered.

"Why would I do that? She's your sister!"

Evie shrugged, pulling at her towel. "I didn't ask for one."

"Don't say that, this way you'll always have a best friend!" said Rhys, ruffling her hair. "I like Rheya."

"More than me?"

"I love you both equally."

"I don't wanna play with you anymore," she announced, standing up and making his way towards Azriel's sunbed. "Azliel, let's make a sandcastle!"

Az smiled at Evie, who was bouncing up and down, throwing the wet towel in the sand. Cassian was about to say something about that, until Azriel closed his book and stood up.

"Come on, let's try making one with towers. Do you want to make tiny soldiers as well?"

"Yeees!!"

"Did you know he gave her a dagger last week?" said Cassian, stroking Rheya's hair. "I found it buried in one of her stuffed toys."

"My goodness, they _are_ violent," laughed Rhys, laying on his back. "Who freaked out more?"

"Take a wild guess."

"I don't even know why I asked. How come she didn't threaten Az?"

"I talked her out of it."

"I can already imagine how."

"Where's Feyre, by the way? How come she's not here?"

Rhys closed his eyes, leaning back on his sunbed. He was the one who came up with the idea to have a beach day.

"Her turn on audience duty. She tried to talk me into covering for her, but I wasn't going to miss a day at the beach. Plus, she handles them better than me, and Amren likes her company more than mine."

"Amren likes company in general? I wasn't aware of that," he laughed. "At least she didn't curse the girls, so I'm grateful for that."

"Do you want more?"

"More what?"

"More kids," he said, turning his head to face him. "Planned, this time."

Rheya stirred, blabbered something incoherent, then went back to sleep.

"Not anytime soon. Two are enough for now."

"But do you want more?"

He pondered on the question for a bit. Having kids was definitely not on their timeline; they didn't even think they were fit to be parents. Cassian didn't think he was cut out to be a father. He didn't have one, so how was he supposed to know how to take care of not one, but two little girls? At first he was worried because girls were definitely more vicious than boys, and what if he didn't have anything in common with them? What if he couldn't play dolls with them the way they wanted him to, or wouldn't be able to attend their numerous tea parties? What if he let them down at some point?

But then Nesta gave him one hell of a lecture and told him that she was just as scared as he was, if not more.

So he swore that no matter what, he'd try his best to be a good dad. He didn't plan on having kids, didn't think anyone would want to have his kids, but he was so, so grateful for them. They were his light.

"Yes," he found himself answering. "Yes, if Nesta also wants to. I know it's not for everyone, and it's definitely not easy, but it's so worth it in the end. Even after they drive you mad with tantrums and waking up before dawn, nothing compares to when they come up to you and ask for a kiss, or when they tell you how much they love you, or the feeling you get when you make them laugh. It's work, but at the end of the day, it's rewarding."

Rhys nodded, an unusual soft smile forming on his face. "I guess I just needed to hear it from you. You're the first of us to have children, despite our bets, and you're obviously doing an amazing job. They adore you, brother."

Cassian couldn't help but grin. "I'm also good with bribery. Are you planning on having kids with Feyre?"

When he shifted slightly and looked at Rheya again, Cassian had his answer.

"I want to. We both do."

"Is she..."

Rhys shook his head. "Not yet. We try not to think too much about it, because we may not even be able to. Who knows?"

"Feyre was human, though. It's easier for humans to reproduce, so maybe that stuck with her?"

"That's what she's saying as well. She thinks that if Nesta managed to get pregnant with twins without even trying, then she sure as hell has a chance. Where is she, by the way? I was wondering why there was no background yelling."

"She's stuck at the embassy. Don't you think she's working too much? Give her less working hours."

Rhys raised his eyebrows. "First of all, I don't make her schedule, the embassy is separated from the throne. Second of all, from what I know, Nesta has to work five hours per day, four days per week. It's not my fault she prefers living there."

Sighing, Cassian tried to shift without waking Rheya; his back was starting to ache really bad.

"She doesn't, but you know how she is. If the job isn't perfectly done, then she's not finished."

"Did you really have to marry such a perfectionist? She puts the rest of us in a bad light. I haven't seen the inside of my office in weeks."

"Yesterday she was surprised when I told her that I didn't feel like going in to train with the soldiers and said that if she did the same, there would be an inevitable war between the lands. I think she was just exaggerating." When Cassian saw Rhys wince, he gawked. "She wasn't?"

Rheya stirred again, managing to hit him in the face with her tiny fist.

"Auch," he mumbled. "Hello to you, too, sunshine. Did you sleep well?"

When she opened her beautiful, sleepy eyes, Cassian melted. This was the reason why he fought Nesta on waking them up almost every morning -- he loved seeing their bleary, tired little faces. She yawned, then moved to sit upright on his stomach, assessing her surroundings. Her nose was scrunched as she regarded Rhys, then turned towards the shore, where her sister and Azriel were building sand castles.

"Where is mommy?"

Uh oh. If she started crying, all hell would break loose.

Cassian cupped her plump cheek, squeezing it gently. "Mommy's working right now, but she said she'll come by when she's done and then we can all go home. And she promised she'll bake cookies with you two tonight, and you can decorate them yourselves!"

His smile faltered at her uncertain expression.

_Please don't cry, please don't cry..._

If one started crying, then the other would follow pretty fast; they had that in common. While Evie was easier to calm down, Rheya was a handful, and usually Nesta was able to soothe her; which was ironic, since her absence was the reason why she was upset in the first place.

"When is she coming?" she whined.

"Less than an hour, probably. Do you want to go swim? Or build a sandcastle with your sister?"

Rheya shook her head and began to pull at her yellow swimsuit.

"I want mom."

"I know, baby, but she has to work right now. We talked about this, remember? She helps other Fae who don't have anyone to look after them. As soon as she's done helping them, she'll come to play with you."

When her fidgeting ceased and she inhaled deeply, Cassian prepared himself for a thorough tantrum. The screaming would come any second now, and there was little he could do, except maybe take her to Nesta and hope she wouldn't dehydrate herself from crying until then?

"Rheya, do you want to go flying?"

Both their heads whirled towards Rhys, who was on his feet and waiting for her answer. The bastard wasn't even looking at Cassian -- wasn't he supposed to ask him first?

"Can we?" Rheya asked in a small, unsure voice. "Where are your wings?"

Just to make a show out of it, Rhys snapped his fingers and his onyx, leathered wings appeared out of thin air, catching the sun as he flared them wide behind him. Seeing this, Rheya's expression shifted to utter fascination. For them, it was like seeing a mythical creature.

"You know I only make them appear for my favourite Fae in the world," he winked.

"Rhys, you can't take her flying, what if she thrashes out of your arms?"

But it was too late. Rheya reached out towards Rhys, who picked her up in his arms. Her hands went immediately to his wings, touching the hard membrane and the sharp horns. Rhys didn't complain, though his left wing shuddered when she pulled at it a bit too hard.

"Don't be so dramatic, you took her flying before and so have I. And you never say no to Azriel!"

"Because he's more careful than the two of us combined!"

Rhys rolled his eyes, making his way towards the shore, where he could easily take off. Seeing the two of them, Evie perked up, sandcastle forgotten.

"Don't worry, brother, I wouldn't put my niece in danger. She's perfectly safe. You should thank me for saving you from a tantrum!" he called out.

"Screw you!"

As soon as he took off, Rheya squealing in his arms, Cassian kept his eyes trained on them. He knew Rhys was an excellent flyer, of course, but he worried nevertheless. He never stopped worrying when it came to his kids, and he probably never would.

"Daaaaaad! Daaad, why is Rheya flying? I want to fly, too! Take me!"

Evie basically jumped on him, pulling him by whatever she could grasp -- arm, neck, leg, wings -- until he had to stand up. She was mostly covered in sand, her blue swimsuit still drenched and her hair hanging in a loose ponytail.

"Eve, I'm not really in the mood for--"

"Noooooooow!" she yelled as hard as he could, making him wince.

"Cauldron boil me, fine, no need to get so aggressive. Nice words work better, you know?"

"Please?" she smiled, flashing her teeth.

Sighing, Cassian picked his daughter up. "How can I ever refuse you?"

* * *

As she strung leaf after leaf on the string, Nesta couldn't keep her mind off of tomorrow. The rustling of paper and the fresh smell of flowers kept her distracted, though; just as the repetitive movements of her hands. As soon as she was finished with the last one she got up on the chair to tape one end of the string full of leaves in all shapes and sizes, then moved it to the other corner of the room and did the same. It took her roughly twenty minutes to stick all of them to the wall, and then she glued the giant fake lotus flowers on one wall, and faces of various animals on the other. Feyre did the animals while she struggled to make the flowers, and although art wasn't exactly her strong suit, they turned out pretty fine.

Nesta took a step back, taking in their room. Both of them had a newfound love for nature; Rheya especially, who was now fascinated by all creatures. Evie loved trees, flowers, leaves, anything that was colourful and smelled nice, which is why she asked Elain for the prettiest, most resistant leaves she could find. Their ceiling was now obstructed with them, blocking most of Feyre's painting, but it looked beautiful. Like they were actually out, in the nature, not cooped up in a room.

She also managed to buy some witchlights during her break and almost fought another Fae for them. She taped it above their beds, and they cast a dim, golden light, the misshapen stones glinting like they held actual suns inside them. They were going to love it.

And it made her realise just how big they were now, and the fact that tomorrow was their first day at the nursery.

The girls were curious and wanted to socialise more and more with kids their own age, so they really had no choice. Nesta wasn't particularly worried about their education -- she got that handled -- but homeschooling wasn't what either of them wanted. Social interaction was vital, especially with other children. It just pained her not to spend most of her day with them.

Cassian proposed to wait another year, but Nesta worried that it meant keeping them away from playing and interaction. Truth be told, neither of them were thrilled, but it was time. Her babies were no longer literal babies.

When the front door swung open and their high-pitched voices reverberated throughout the house, Nesta smiled. They were finally home.

"Let's see who gets to give mommy a kiss first! Come on, who's faster? I'm going to beat you!"

"No, I am!"

"Me, me!"

Nesta's heart hammered as she heard numerous footsteps hurrying up the stairs, and a huge smile erupted as Rheya made it first through the door, followed by Evie and Cassian. Rheya went straight to Nesta's open arms, jumping up and down and kissing her face.

"I won!" she declared afterwards.

Evie squeezed her way in, demanding a hug as well.

"Oh, I missed you two so much! How was your day at the beach? Did you have fun?"

"Yes!" yelled Rheya. "I slept and then I flew with uncle Rhysie!"

Nesta's smile twitched.

"So did I, with daddy!" continued Evie.

"Before you say anything, I just want to say that Rheya was about to have a breakdown because she was missing you and I panicked. The room looks gorgeous, though, when did you have time to do this? Hey, girls, look at the ceiling!"

They threw their heads back and gaped at the newly decorated ceiling.

"Wow, it's a jungle," mused Evie.

"And look, animals! Eva, look!"

They began analysing every new detail about their room while Nesta stood up and made her way towards her mate.

"Flying, huh?"

Cassian flashed her his winning smile. "Desperate times. You didn't answer my question, though, when did you do all of this? Must've taken you hours."

Nesta just shrugged. "I did most of the cropping and painting during meetings, and Feyre did the animals. I figured since they love nature so much, their room should show that."

"You're an amazing mom," he said, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. "And I love you.”

‘I love you more,’ she whispered, leaning into his embrace. ‘How was the beach? Did you have fun?’

‘Yes, I built an amazing sandcastle and the girls wouldn’t stop picking up the jellyfish from the water and dumping them on my head. I think Evie ate some sand as well and Rheya slept for an hour. Also, did you remember to buy ingredients to bake with them tonight? I’d love to stay around and help but I have a war council to attend.’

‘I did, I got their favourite toppings.’

Nesta turned around in his arms, frowning. ‘What good is a war council in times of peace?’

‘This is the ideal time to have war councils. We have plenty of time to prepare in case of attacks.’

‘Well, do let me know if there are any wars coming, I have a full agenda and I don’t think I have time for that as well.’

Cassian laughed. ‘I’ll make sure to remember that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I also promised them that we’d have a tea party as soon as we got home. Do you want to join us?’

Her hand slipped in his, fighting back the urge to jump him right then and there. ’I would love to, actually.’

* * *

"Which one do you want? This one? Alright, you can have it. Rheya, don't try to get in the hammock all by yourself, you'll knock your teeth out before they're fully grown!"

Nesta watched from the backyard door how her mate had a midnight tea party with one of the twins while the other was more restless than usual. The garden was lit with soft witch-lights, which hung in the branches of the blooming trees, and the night sky was dotted with glittering stars. Cassian had laid out a blanket to sit on while Evie pulled our her tea cart from the shed, which included a few diadems from Feyre and so many utensils gifted by Elain.There were a few expensive wine glasses there as well, which were probably from Mor or Amren. She couldn't be sure.

Cassian fake-sipped some tea, the diadem hanging low on his head. Somehow Evie managed to convince him to wear a pair of pink gloves as well, while she herself donned on a pretty dress made of tulle. It was a monstrosity to get the grass stains out of it, though, but it looked so beautiful on her. Especially when she was laughing at whatever face Cassian made, or when she was complimenting her tea-making skills.

"Oh my, this is so sweet! Did you brew it yourself? What did you use?"

"It has apples! And cinnamon!"

Cassian nodded, even though the cup was empty. "I can tell. Very rich in flavour. Would you like a biscuit?"

"Yes, please."

On the other hand, Rheya had somehow managed to get in the hammock and was swaying as she played with that ugly doll and a water nymph.

"Isn't it a little late for tea parties?"

Both Cassian and Evie looked up as Nesta made her way towards their ornate little table and sat down on the freshly cut grass. Evie offered her an empty cup of tea immediately, and she fake-sipped it, shaking her head with disbelief.

"This is so good, your skills are improving! Good job, Evie!"

The girl beamed and went back to serving her rabbit toy some biscuits.

"Aren't you tired? You've had them all day long, you should go to sleep. I can take care of them."

Cassian was still looking at Evie, smiling softly at her mumbling. "I know, it's just calming to spend some time with them after the chaos that training and war councils are. I'd rather try to make them pronounce difficult words than threaten soldiers."

"Who knew we'd make such perfect babies?" she wondered out loud, leaning on him a little.

Cassian chuckled. "I did. Look at me."

"They don't take after you that much, though."

"I hope that's a joke, because they have so many of my traits. Look at Rheya, already enamoured with weapons. Isn't that a promising thing? I've bragged about it to about five Fae today. Gods, fatherhood really got to me."

"I know, yesterday I kept sniffing their heads while rocking them to sleep. I didn't think babies ever smelled nice."

"They mostly don't."

Nesta found his hand and interlaced their fingers. "Do you think we're doing a good job with them?"

"We've kept them alive so far, so I think we do."

Nesta nudged him. "I'm serious."

"So am I. They're healthy and full of joy, sweetheart. They play and laugh and eat from dawn 'til dusk, and they have a family who adores them. I'm sure we're going to fail every now and then, like when we forgot to pick them up from Mor and then Feyre and Rhys, but we'll manage. They're resilient creatures; at least that's what I read."

"Maybe one day we'll have more," she mused. "In the far away future, though. When these two don't need around-the-clock care and we need a new challenge."

Cassian looked down at her. "Really? You think it's a good idea?"

Nesta shrugged, but couldn't contain her smile. "Why not? I'm not aiming for twins again, though. Just one would be nice."

"It's funny, since I had a pretty similar conversation with Rhys this morning. He asked me if I wanted more children with you."

"And what did you say?"

"That if you also agreed, then yes, I would love to. Changing dirty nappies is quite fun, and having them puke on you at the most inopportune times."

Nesta laughed, remembering when Evie puked on him last year, on the Solstice party. It was hilarious.

"Mommy, I want down," she heard Rheya's soft voice call out.

"Duty calls," she sighed, standing up. "You get Evie, let's take them to bed. I need sleep."

"This is going to be fun," he mumbled, before attempting to persuade Evie to come inside.

As soon as Rheya saw her, she raised her arms and waited to be picked up.

"Are you tired, my love?"

To her utter astonishment, Rheya nodded, her doll tucked under her arm. Nesta picked her up and she immediately rested her head on her shoulder, arms around her neck.

"Sleep with you?"

Nesta smiled, walking towards the house. "You want to sleep with us tonight?"

"Mhmmm."

"Alright. Evie as well?"

"Yes," she said, then dozed off.

"That was almost too easy," Nesta whispered to herself, holding her daughter close to her heart.

* * *

While Nesta tucked their daughters in in the middle of their bed, Cassian was locking some of his daggers in a drawer. The girls sometimes woke up in the middle of the night and the last thing he needed was to see them playing with daggers.

"Are they asleep already?"

He turned around to see Nesta nod, pressing a kiss into Evie's hair.

"They were probably tired after the beach."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Is it going to annoy me?"

"I hope not."

He pulled out the object he'd been hunting down for weeks now and handed it to her. It was carefully wrapped in leather, heavy and dusty, yet infinitely precious for someone like Nesta. He'd had to threaten a few merchants and some scholars for it, but he'd managed to buy it.

Puzzled, Nesta took it, taking off its wrapping. "What is-- Oh my gods, how did you find it?"

Her expression was priceless as she laid the heavy book on the comforter, touching its leather cover with inscriptions. Her pretty mouth hung open, and she tried -- and failed -- to say something as she opened it, the heavy creaking making her gasp.

"I used my charm and persuasion skills."

Nesta looked at him, eyebrows raised. "How many Fae did you threaten for this?"

"Multiple. I wanted to give it to you on our anniversary, but the thing was giving me chills. I'll find something else by then."

Before he could say anything, Nesta wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down into a tight, almost suffocating hug. He didn't complain, though; he held her against his chest, delighting in her scent and warmth.

"Thank you, Cass," she whispered. "I've been looking for it for months. I can't believe you beat me to it."

Cassian couldn't help but smirk. "I'm the skilled warrior here."

She pull back further enough to give him a lingering kiss that managed to make his blood boil.

"I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart. Now will you tell me why you've been after this tome for so long?"

She let go of him just to gaze lovingly at the gloomy book again. "It contains some ancient spells that I've been dying to practice, but it's one of the few tomes that gives instructions on how to create and wield dark objects. Wouldn't that be helpful when politics get out of hand? And they're untraceable as well. Oh, I'm going to have so much fun with this mine of gold..."

Although the prospect of his mate creating dark objects unnerved him, it filled his heart with joy to see her so excited. The power books had was impressive.

"Thank you," she said again, giving him another kiss.

"Stop thanking me already," he replied, kissing her again. "You know I'd do anything for you."

"Wait until you see what gift I got you," she grinned.

"What? Where? Can I see it? What is it?"

"No, wait until next week! It's not even here, so don't bother searching for it."

"What is it, though? Is it a weapon?"

Nesta sighed, wrapping back the book and storing it in the drawer next to his weapons.

"You'll see. Did you talk with Rhys about taking the girls tomorrow?"

They got into bed, careful not to wake the girls up, and Cassian managed to move Rheya's sprawling limbs from his pillow.

"Yes, but he and Feyre already planned their hunting trip, so I asked Mor and Roslyn. We'll drop them off at their place at five."

Nesta nodded while she checked on the girls again. She had this worry that they would get the flu or smallpox or some other human disease at some point, no matter how many times he assured her that it wasn't the same for Fae. She touched their foreheads and cheeks, making sure they weren't warm or sweaty. It was her instinct, Cassian guessed; mothers were the fiercest beings in the world and the best protectors. He knew better than to interrupt her.

"And they'll have them for the whole night?"

"That's what they said."

"Thank fuck, we can finally have a whole night to ourselves."

Cassian grinned. "Oh, did you plan anything interesting?"

"Yes, we're going out to eat and then sleep until noon. When's the last time we got to do that?"

"Just eat?"

She unbraided her hair, and as always, he gaped at the long, wavy curls that went past her breasts. If it weren't for these two between them, Cassian would like nothing else than to reach over and run his fingers through it; maybe over her breasts as well. It's been quite a few days since they had the opportunity to do anything, and it was usually in the shower, while they were asleep in their bed.

It was a new habit of theirs, to sometimes sleep with them. They didn't want them to get too used to it, but they also couldn't say no. Who knew for how long they could do this? Children grew up fast, and before he knew it, they were going to yell at him for saying hello or embarrassing them in front of their friends. Which was ridiculous, since Cassian planned on becoming friends with their friends, be it willingly or not.

"We could spar a little. It's been a while."

"You want to fight?" he asked, astonished.

"Why does that surprise you? I like the physical strain. And don't even think about making a joke."

He smirked. "Oh, you know me so well. Alright, I can't wait to beat you."

"Why are you beating her?"

Their eyes darted to Evie, who's puzzled expression made Cassian swear under his breath. Weren't they asleep like two seconds ago?

"No, not like that, darling, we were talking about training."

"Yes, I want to practice sword fighting with your daddy because it's been a long time since I last did it," Nesta added.

"So he's not beating you?"

"Of course not," she said, looking apalled.

"Evie, remember when we talked about not hurting other Fae?"

The girl nodded, eyes fixed on him.

"Unless we're in a war or in the training ring, no one should hit another Fae or cause them harm. It's a very bad thing to do. Plus, I would never, ever hurt mommy. I love her with my whole heart."

Nesta smiled and reached for his hand. "He wouldn't win, anyway. I'm better."

Evie laughed. Cassian didn't.

"This is supposed to be an educational moment, can you keep your competitive side under wraps for a second?"

"Oh come on, she's too tired to remember anything. Eve, come on, let's sleep, it's late and you'll be grumpy in the morning."

Evie rolled over and landed with her head on Nesta's chest, tiny arms wrapped around her.

‘Goodnight,’ she mumbled, already drifting off to sleep.

She kissed the top of her head, and Cassian saw how her body relaxed, how she _melted_ as their daughter nestled into her arms, seeking her warmth.

‘Goodnight, my baby.’


	11. Chapter 11

_4 years old_

‘Mom, Evie stole my doll again! I’m not going without Princess Decay!’

‘Twins shouldn’t snitch, you know,’ she heard Evie retort back.

‘Give her back!’

‘Play with me first!’

Muttering under her breath, Nesta left the chopping board and went straight to the living room, where her girls were fighting and rolling on the ground, knocking over a pile of her paperwork and a vase in the process. They didn’t even pay them any attention, continuing to pull and tug at that unfortunate, ugly doll.

‘Isn’t it a little early in the morning for you two to fight?’

They stopped, looking at her from upside down.

‘I asked her to play with me outside and she didn’t want to!’ complained Evie, which made Rheya huff.

‘I don’t want to play with the cubes again! They’re boring!’

‘Your ugly doll is boring!’

And then they went back to rolling and pulling and yelling, which meant that Nesta had to intervene.

‘Okay, knock it off or you’re not getting any dessert today!’

To her horror, it didn’t stop them. Nesta had to pick up Rheya, who was sitting on top of Evie and threatening to pull her hair, but that didn’t stop her from thrashing around in an attempt to get back to her.

‘Rheya, calm down, she’ll give you your doll back! Right, Evie?’

Her daughter stood up, took one look at her mother and sighed. ‘Fine, take it.’

Nesta let go of Rheya, who snatched her doll and went back to the kitchen table, where she was writing down words from a reading book.

‘That wasn’t very nice of you, honey.’

Evie crossed her arms and sat down on the floor. ‘It’s not my fault that she doesn’t want to go to school! I just wanted to play outside.’

Nesta kneeled in front of her and tucked a few strands of her long, dark hair behind her ear. ‘I know, but taking her things won’t convince her to play with you. Ask her nicely next time?’

‘As if that would help,’ she rolled her eyes.

Nesta knew that was true, so she chose to change the subject. ‘If you’re so bored, how about you help me make your breakfast? I’ll let you cut the vegetables,’ she winked.

At that, Evie’s face lit up. ‘Deal.’

They bickered in the mornings because they hated waking up so early, but they rarely had the energy to tumble around the floor, so Nesta always had to distract them. Well, Evie mostly — she was extremely social. Rheya was perfectly fine on her own, scribbling words and drawing animals while Nesta made them breakfast.

She was still reluctant about letting Evie cut the vegetables on her own, but she watched her closely as she chopped the cucumbers and tomatoes into uneven sizes. Every now and then she’d ask if she was doing it properly, and of course Nesta praised her and encouraged her, even though the funny shapes amused her.

They were so big now. So big that Nesta sometimes watched them play and talk and wondered when the hell did they grow up so much.

She glanced at Rheya, who was humming to herself while writing. Her messy, light hair was half pulled into a ponytail, though most of it hung in shiny curls. She was mouthing every word she wrote, her sharp, blue eyes scanning the pages for more words she recognised. Like her sister, Rheya had some freckles on her nose and cheeks, which they sometimes accentuated with crayons or paint — or covered their faces with it. She was also a bit taller than Evie, and now that they no longer had any baby fat left, they gained a leaner body. Her pyjamas were splattered with what could be orange juice, but she didn’t seem to mind — not that she ever did.

Evie was already wearing her favourite leggings with flowers and a blue sweater, while her dark hair was still in two tangled buns. Neither of them paid much attention to their hair, obviously. She had her eyes — same colour as Rheya and Nesta’s eyes — fixed on the vegetables, cutting them and separating them on their plates. She knew Rheya liked more peppers and less tomatoes, and also sneaked in a few cucumbers, although she never ate them. On her plate she put tomatoes, carrots and cucumbers, leaving out the peppers, because she hated them. As soon as she was done, she took both the plates to the table.

‘You cut them?’ Rheya asked, surprised.

‘Didn’t you see me?’

‘No. Thank you.’

‘You’re welcome. I left out the carrots, see?’

And just like that, the girls forgot all about their fight.

Nesta began to make their eggs while listening to their conversation about vegetables, what they were going to do today and who they were dreading to play with.

‘Mom?’

‘Yes?’

‘Where is daddy?’ asked Rheya.

‘He left last night. He won’t be back for a couple of months.’

Hearing that, their merry chatter ended.

‘What?’

‘What do you mean he left?’ asked Evie, hurrying to her side. ‘Where?!’

Nesta couldn’t hold back her smirk. ‘I’m just kidding. He went to see uncle Az about an issue he had with the Illyrians, but he’ll be back to take you to school.’

‘Moooom!’

‘This is for that statue you broke yesterday. Who wants eggs?’

Breakfast was always a mess. They liked to talk while eating, even though Nesta struggled to teach them table manners. Sometimes they’d throw food at each other, but when Nesta told them that they’d have to clean the mess, they always stopped. They both hated cleaning.

While listening to Rheya talk about imaginary hybrid animals — she liked to imagine what a monkey-shark would look like — Nesta ate her own breakfast. Evie talked about the weapons uncle Rhys showed her yesterday and what their newest teacher taught them.

‘He thinks we can’t count or read,’ she complained.

‘And he makes us colour and write simple lines too much, it’s boring!’ added Rheya.

‘Did you tell him that as well?’

Rheya was about to answer, but realising that her mouth was full of food, she chewed and swallowed before answering. ‘Yes, and he said that not everyone in our class can write and read already.’

‘Why is it our fault that they’re stupid?’

‘Evie, don’t call other kids stupid, it’s not kind.’

‘Fine. Why is it out fault that they’re not smart enough?’

Nesta smiled. Clever girls.

‘It’s not, but every child learns at their own pace and are good at different things.’

‘Like what?’

‘Playing sports, musical instruments, dancing, tinkering, painting, swimming, flying. Everyone has different passions.’

‘What’s yours?’ asked Rheya. ‘Besides arguing.’

‘Who said I’m good at that?’

‘Daddy,’ they both answered.

_Fucking idiot._

‘Your daddy talks too much sometimes,’ she mumbled while taking a sip of her coffee.

As soon as they finished breakfast, the girls ran to the living room to play. It was 7:23 — they had time left to get dressed for school and make it in time. While quickly discarding the dished in the sink and cleaning the table, Nesta began to think about the things she had to do at work today, who she had to meet and possibly threaten. She also promised Feyre that she’d stop by in the evening, but she had to make sure that she’d finish early today.

‘Rheya, that’s my magic box! Give it back!’

‘Oh, for fuck’s sake,’ she swore.

She prepared to break another fight when she heard the front door open, indicating that Cassian was back.

‘Why are you fighting?’

‘She took my box!’

Nesta went to see what all the commotion was about. They were tumbling around the floor again, this time pulling at a wooden box that Evie thought was magical. Cassian winked at her before picking Evie from the floor, holding her up as she continued to yell about the box.

‘Rheya, why don’t you give it back?’

‘Because she took my doll an hour ago!’

‘So you have to fight on the floor like wildlings? Fight like Illyrians at least,’ he said, hoisting Evie up on his shoulders. ‘I showed you how to throw a punch.’

‘Cassian, stop encouraging them to fight!’ Nesta warned him before helping Rheya stand up. ‘Come on, give it back to her.’

‘Make me,’ she retorted, squinting her eyes at her.

Nesta raised her eyebrows. ‘Give it back or no ice cream for a week. How about that?’

‘I don’t like ice cream that much anyway,’ she said, sitting down on the couch while fiddling with that cursed box.

‘Give it back!’ yelled Evie, fluttering her wings in annoyance.

‘No flying for a week, then.’

At that, even Cassian looked a bit shocked.

‘A _week?’_ he asked, but Nesta gestured for him to keep quiet.

‘That’s not fair!’ exclaimed Rheya. ‘I’m just beginning to perfect my take off!’

‘Well, a week will definitely make you fall behind if you don’t give back what’s not yours.’

Rheya was competitive, so of course that motivated her to set that box on the table and go back to her own toys. Cassian set Evie down, who raced towards that box from Mor and began playing with it.

‘Hello, sweetheart.’

Cassian pulled her into a kiss that made both of their daughters make disgusted noises, which only amused them.

‘Did I tell you how radiant you look today?’

‘Cassian, I didn’t even brush my hair and I’m still in my pyjamas.’

‘You’re still beautiful. And hot as fuck,’ he whispered those last words before kissing her neck.

‘Don’t tempt me, we don’t have time for anything.’

‘Take the day off? It’s been so long since we had a day to ourselves.’

‘I can’t, I have that meeting with the Spring Court reps, and so much paperwork to catch up on…’

‘They can wait another day, we can go out while the girls are at school and have fun. Or we can stay home and have fun here,’ he proposed, smirking.

Tempting as it was, Nesta had about a hundred reasons why she couldn’t ditch work, but just looking at her mate, feeling his arms around her ways, seeing that mischievous gleam in his eyes… She desperately wanted more alone time with him. Needed it.

‘Don’t you have training to do with the Illyrians?’

‘Azriel can take over. I’d rather stay with you.’

_Fuck it._

‘Fine, but you’re taking the girls to school.’

The look of pure joy and excitement made Nesta laugh. Truth to be told, she didn’t want to go to work anyway. Those Spring Court Fae could damn well wait in their luxurious villa for another day.

‘I love you,’ he said, quickly kissing her cheek before heading towards the girls. ‘Alright, ladies, let’s get ready for school. Rheya, you’re still in your pyjamas, let’s move it!’

‘I want to stay home!’

‘Wrong day, baby. We can practice your take offs on the way to school if you come get dressed.’

Of course that was enough to convince her, but she still held up her arms. ‘Can you carry me? I’m tired from fighting my evil twin.’

‘Likewise,’ yelled Evie, who was already running up the stairs to their room.

Cassian picked Rheya up by the legs, holding her upside down, making her yell and laugh at the same time. ‘See you in a bit, sweetheart!’

Nesta watched bemused as Cassian carried their daughter upside down all the way to their bedroom, where they began to argue about what clothes to wear, how to do their hair and which toys to take with them.

Thank the gods Cassian dealt with that, because it gave Nesta plenty of time to take a long bath and not worry that her kids were setting the house on fire.

* * *

Cassian adored his daughters. He’d give his life for them, do anything for them, give them anything, as long as they were happy and safe. They were the best thing that had ever happened to him (alongside Nesta, of course) and cherished every second that he spent with them. Seeing them grow up from crying babies to cranky toddlers to chatty children was a gift, one that he could never tire of.

But sometimes, his daughters were acting like little devils who enjoyed tiring him out.

‘Not that bow, it’s ugly!’

‘Can you give me that dress? The yellow one?’

‘Daddy, my hair is too tight, can you braid it again?’

‘Why do I have to wear socks?’

‘Can I take my dagger with me?’

‘There’s this boy in class who peed on the teacher’s favourite plant last week.’

‘I think I want my other shoes now. The red ones, not the blue ones!’

‘Dad, can I also get tattoos?’

‘Did I tell you the rhyme I learned yesterday?’

By the time he managed to get them ready and out the door, Cassian felt like he had just battled an entire army on his own. Thankfully, he managed to send some quick messages to Azriel to inform him that he wouldn’t make it to training this morning and to take over his squad, and to Adriel, his squire-in-training-aspiring-soldier, to make sure that Azriel wouldn’t come after him.

They usually took turns in the mornings. When Nesta made breakfast, Cassian would take them to school, and the other way around. Sometimes he’d just fly to get there in time, but they still had half an hour, so they walked instead; walked and practiced take offs.

‘Flare your wings higher, yes, just like that! Good job, Evie!’

They were both running in front of him, taking off and flying just a couple of meters from the ground, high enough to practice their landing as well.

‘Look at mine!’ yelled Rheya before launching up.

Cassian couldn’t contain his huge smile. His babies, already up in the air. There was no way to describe the absolute joy he felt — it made him emotional, more than anything.

‘You’re a natural!’ he yelled, making her grin.

They landed before crossing the bridge and ran back to him. Cassian told them not to practice near water or too many people, because they could get easily distracted and injure themselves, and to his surprise, they listened.

Well, they listened because Evie fell once and scratched her arm pretty badly, so Rheya didn’t take the chance.

‘Can we practice after school?’ asked Evie, holding his hand.

‘Sure. Do you want to also practice, Rheya?’

Rheya was looking at some swans who were floating on the Sidra, then at the passing Fae who sometimes waved at them.

‘I’m busy today.’

Cassian looked at her with surprise. ‘Really? Got any plans?’

‘I’m playing with Dhara and Madric after school. I already told mom.’

‘Where are you playing?’

‘Dhara’s house. Mom said that you’ll pick me up.’

‘Of course she did.’

‘Where were you this morning?’ Evie asked, fixing her piercing eyes on him. ‘Mom made a joke and said you left and wouldn’t be back for months.’

‘And leave my favourite girls alone? Never. There was a problem with one of the Illyrian camps, but we fixed it.’

That subject got their attention — they were so curious about those camps. Sometimes they’d ask Cassian for stories about what it was like to grow up there, but he couldn’t bear to tell them all of it, not yet. The truth was too grim and he didn’t want his children to even know that such pain existed in their world.

‘When can we go there as well?’ asked Rheya, tugging on his arm. ‘I wanna see the mountains!’

‘Me too!’

‘Didn’t we talk about it? You’re too young to go there, it’s not exactly a children-friendly environment.’

‘Then how come you grew up there?’

‘Because I didn’t know that Velaris existed when I was your age. If I knew, I would have moved here.’

It was far from the truth, and the idea of lying to them didn’t sit well with Cassian, but what else could he say? That his mother was killed when he was around their age and had to live in makeshift tents, scavenging for food?

‘Commander, Commander Cassian!’

Cassian swore, making the girls giggle. ‘Don’t tell your mom I said that.’

He turned around to see Adriel chasing after him. He was a very distant relative of Rhys, who had a somewhat soft spot for the boy after his family in Hewn city cast him out due to his preference for males. Of course, that was after they almost beat him to death, so he sought asylum here. Rhys was more than happy to help him out, but the damn boy wanted to work for a living and preferably in the army, so Rhys dumped the boy in his already full arms. That happened almost a year ago.

Adriel was a skinny boy, no older than twenty who had little to no inclination towards fighting, but still persisted. Cassian trained him but to no avail — he just wasn’t cut out for it. He still tried to, because he kind of liked the boy. He was naïve to the point that it amused Cassian and kind to anyone that crossed his path.

As soon as he caught up with them, Adriel rested his hands on his knees, breathing hard. He ran a hand through his long, blonde hair before saluting him.

‘Commander! Lady Evanora, Lady Rheya!’

The girls laughed, waving at him. ‘Hello, Adriel!’

Cassian just rolled his eyes. ‘Why do you keep calling me that when we’re not training? Nevermind, it’s too early to reopen that discussion. What is it?’

‘Azriel, he sent me to tell you that he cannot take over your squad and to come there yourself.’

_Fucking bastard. Really?_

‘Why not?’

Adriel didn’t expect that question, so his eyes went wide. ‘I-I don’t know, he said that he had trials with his squad today and can’t look after yours at the same time.’

‘Did you make up a lie, like I told you to?’

‘I-I tried to, but you know how scary he gets when he’s pissed!’ he stammered, just like he always did when he got nervous.

‘Do you want to find out how scary I get when I’m pissed?’

At that, Adriel paled. Rheya tugged on his arm, looking concerned.

‘What is it, honey?’

‘I think he’s going to faint if you get mad at him, daddy,’ she whispered, pointing towards Adriel.

‘Mommy says not everyone can handle a scolding,’ added Evie.

That brought a smile to his face. ‘Indeed. So it would be in Adriel’s best interest to go back and handle daddy’s business, right, girls?’

They both nodded vigorously, grinning like wolves.

Cassian dropped his smile just for a second, glaring at Adriel in warning. ‘Fix it or you’ll handle the older trainees for a week.’

‘I will, I promise!’

With that, Adriel ran as fast as his legs could carry him. They continued theirwalk towards the school and Cassian could barely manage to keep them on the ground.

‘Come down, Evie, there are people around!’

Evie landed a few feet in front of them, stopping to say hello to a worker from Roslyn’s bakery. Rheya couldn’t handle it anymore and also took off, but before Cassian could say a word, she circled back towards him in a clumsy manner and landed on his shoulders.

‘Better than yesterday?’ she asked, leaning down to see his expression.

Cassian smirked, holding his hand up for a high five. ‘Definitely.’

‘Are you going to give Adriel a hard time?’

‘No, of course not. I just say those things to motivate him to stand his ground. Can’t say that it works, though.’

‘You don’t do that with me and Evie, though,’ she noted, ruffling his hair.

‘Because you can already stand your ground. Your mom made sure of that. Evie, leave those squirrels alone! You can’t take them with you!’

Rheya was always preoccupied with the well-being of others, be it Fae, humans, animals or even insects. She would burst into tears if she accidentally stepped on a snail or saw a dead butterfly. One time she witnessed how Nesta handled a subordinate that lost an important contract and asked her for a week straight if she didn’t fire that girl or if she still had all of her limbs. It was endearing.

As soon as they got to the school, Cassian handed them their bags and crouched down.

‘Don’t break stuff, don’t punch other kids, don’t swear at your teacher and don’t fly unsupervised. Alright?’

They nodded before hugging him. Cassian managed to kiss their foreheads before they ran towards the school yard where all of the kids were playing.

‘I love you!’ he yelled after them.

‘Love you too!’ they yelled back.

He lingered until he made sure that they both went inside and flew back to the house as fast as he could — he was going to make the most of his time with Nesta.

* * *

Four hours later and Nesta was so worn out that she could barely stand up from the bed.

She didn’t even _remember_ when they got in the bed. Moments like these were sparse, so whenever they wanted to have sex, Nesta would have to soundproof their bedroom. There were times when one of the twins woke up in the middle of the night after a nightmare and demanded to sleep with them, so they had to be prepared for anything. Sometimes they’d sleep over at one of their aunts or uncles, which is when they could be selfish enough to take as long as they needed and have sex on all the possible surfaces.

Not _their_ room, obviously.

Training room, study, library, basement (where they kept the ropes and other fun toys), kitchen counter and even the shower. They only staggered to the bedroom to catch their breath, though now none of them wanted to get up.

‘This feels an awful lot like the first week after we mated,’ she said, rolling to her side to look at him. ‘We couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves even in public.’

‘I still can’t, but you always turn down sex in public places.’

‘That’s not true, how many times did we have sex in those dark corridors at the theatre? And on the beach? And party receptions, changing rooms, human churches, on top of Devlon’s desk, in the dungeons, that abandoned castle, that threesome at Kallias and Vivianne’s party, the foursomes in Helion’s court, during one of your serious trainings with the soldiers when you were all business—‘

He whipped his head towards her, mouth agape. ‘You pulled me behind a tree that time because you said it turns you on when I’m stern!’

Nesta moved to lay on top of his bare chest, arms sneaking around his neck.

‘It does. You’re rougher and you know I like it,’ she grinned, kissing his clavicle.

‘Are you trying to turn me on again? Because it’s going to work.’

‘We have to pick up the girls in two hours and we need groceries, I don’t think we have time for another—‘

Cassian flipped Nesta on her stomach in a fluid motion, pulling her hair aside to kiss her neck, then gently bit it, making her squirm. ‘We have plenty of time, I’m nowhere near finished with you, sweetheart.’

That was enough to get Nesta in the mood again.

* * *

When they were finally sated and managed to put on some clothes, Cassian and Nesta went out to do some grocery shopping and stroll around the city until they needed to pick up the girls. Cassian had the nerve to bribe a young Fae to carry all the groceries to their house when he got too tired and ventured straight to Roslyn’s bakery.

The smell made Nesta sigh; Roslyn baked almost everything herself, though she had two other girls that helped her around the shop. One of them, Aya, welcomed them in and told them that Roslyn was baking in the kitchen.

‘I’m quite tempted to steal all of these cakes,’ Nesta whispered, eyeing the carefully decorated cakes. They were so beautiful, it was often difficult to bring herself to eat them. Her children didn’t have that issue, though. Neither did Cassian.

‘As nice and kind as she is, I’m pretty sure she’d break a few bones when it comes to her baking.’

‘This is why I’m not risking it.’

The kitchen where Roslyn worked was a mess, which was hilarious, since the front store was absolutely pristine. Every surface was covered in flour, sugar, eggs, decorative stuff that Nesta couldn’t possibly name and other baking ingredients. There were trays and trays of cakes baking in the clay ovens and others in the large cooling boxes. Roslyn was hunched over a big, wooden table, rolling out dough. Her red hair was caught in a tight bun and she had flour all over her arms and apron.

‘Does she even know we’re here?’

Nesta shrugged. She used to get quite distracted by baking.

‘Hey, flour face, are you going to ignore us for much longer?’ Cassian asked, then yelped when Nesta elbowed him in the ribs. ‘What? It wasn’t an insult! It would’ve been insulting if I told her about the dough stuck in her hair!’

‘You’re hopeless,’ Nesta sighed.

‘And a dick,’ said Roslyn, who finally looked up at them, a bright smile on her face. ‘You’re one to talk, last time I saw you your whole face was covered in paint.’

‘You try entertaining two four year olds at midnight because they won’t go to bed without their mom. What are you baking? Can I try it?’

‘No!’

While those two bickered over what Cassian could and could not eat or touch, Nesta ate a few fruit tarts and admired her cakes. Gods, they were beautiful. Roslyn did all cakes for the twins’ birthdays, and they were exquisite each year. The last one had squirrels and horses on it, because Evie loves squirrels and Rheya is fascinated by horses and the neighs they make. When they were behaving or Nesta was too tired to make them something to eat, she’d bring them over here, because Roslyn was always thrill to feed the girls. Nesta was inclined to hire her as a cook.

‘Stop eating those, I put them aside for your daughters!’

Nesta turned around to see Cassian attempt to eat some lemon pies and strawberry cheesecakes — twins’ favourites — while Roslyn threatened to pour a bowl of flour on him.

‘They eat too much sugar anyway, I’m sure they won’t mind.’

‘Wait until I tell them,’ Nesta laughed.

Cassian’s eyes went wide. ‘Don’t. They’ll throw a temper tantrum and I can’t handle another after the last one.’

Which was… Two days ago? Three days ago? She wasn’t sure, but Cassian was playing with them in the park and when he said that it was time to go home, they both flipped. Although he had lots of patience, he didn’t quite know how to calm both of them at the same time, so it took him an hour to get them to settle down. Nesta usually did it in ten minutes.

They chatted while Roslyn filled an entire basket of sweets for the girls (most of which Nesta would eat, but she didn’t need to know _that_ ) and as they got ready to leave to pick up the girls, Roslyn pulled her aside.

‘I wanted to ask you something,’ she said, right after Cassian was out of sight. ‘How did you know that he was the one? That you wanted to marry him?’

Nesta smiled at her, the obvious concern in her eyes, yet the determination in them.

‘I didn’t. But then I saw what life without him was like, and I knew that it was a version that I’d completely despise. You don’t really appreciate what you have until you no longer have it, and for me… I didn’t have to go too long without him to realise that I don’t want to live in a world where Cassian and I aren’t together.’

‘Even though you fight more than any couple I have ever seen?’

Chuckling, she leaned against the wall, still holding the basket from Roslyn. ‘We don’t actually fight, you know. We’re both very temperamental and it’s sort of our love language. I’d be more worried about our relationship if we’d stop our verbal sparring. Is this about Mor?’

She nodded, wiping some flour off of her nose. ‘Yes. I love her, and I want to marry her.’

Nesta’s eyes went wide. This was _not_ what she expected.

‘Do you… want to propose?’

Roslyn nodded.

‘I’ve been wanting to for months, but I’m a bit scared. What if… what if it’s too much, or too soon for her? What if she says no?’

This was rather amusing, seeing that Mor worried about the same thing when it came to their relationship — what if putting a label on their relationship was too soon? What if moving in together was too soon? What if, what if, what if?

Truth was, they were both too worried about each other and lost sight of what they were both feeling: love. They were so in love that it scared them.

‘When I found out Cassian was my mate, I felt like I didn’t have a choice. I wanted to be given the option to say yes or no, but I wasn’t, and I hated it. I hated the fact that I didn’t have a say in it. And it took me months to even agree to talk to him, and even more months to talk without fighting. It wasn’t an easy path, but this way I got to know him, and it made me forget about the fact that we were tied to each other, because we did it at a different pace. Cassian never focused on the mating bond, but on building something from scratch, just like you and Mor did. And before I knew it, I was in love with him, so in love that I didn’t know what to think anymore. I was worried it was just the bond, or maybe that I’d ruin it somehow, but then he asked me to marry him, and until that very moment, I didn’t even want to be married. But that simple, stupid question was what I needed to hear — a choice to stay, or to run. To be all in or back away. And all the things I’d been worried about, they seemed foolish afterwards. So I don’t think it’s too soon, Ros. If anything, I think it’s about damn time, because Mor is so in love with you that I’m surprised she didn’t pop the question yet. Though I’m pretty sure she’s worried about the same things that you’re worried about, which is stupid. Take that leap of faith, because the outcome will be worth it. I promise.’

Roslyn nodded while wiping away a few tears, then pulled her into a hug so tight that she could barely breathe.

‘Thank you, Nesta. I never understood while everyone said you’re mean, because you’re quite the opposite of that.’

‘Yes, well, I have a status to uphold. Who exactly is _everyone_ , anyway? Can you give me a list?’

* * *

As soon as they showed up at the school, a young girl rushed out and waved them over, telling them that the headmistress wanted to see them. They knew she wasn’t going to praise her children.

‘What do you think they did this time?’ she whispered to Cassian as they followed the girl through the packed corridors.

‘Probably just swore at a teacher. I made sure they didn’t take any sharp objects from home.’

As soon as they met with the headmistress, they knew it was worse than that. She was a tall, robust female with sharp ears, teeth and green skin, her white, braided hair wrapped around the top of her head. Cassian always found her terrifying, due to her stern look and scoldings, but Nesta quite liked her. She was a fair headmistress.

‘What did they do now?’ Nesta said by way of greeting.

Headmistress Imelda was gazing out the window when they walked in, barely acknowledging them. Her study was more of a library, filled with dusty books and objects that were surely meant to be in a museum of antiquities. Some of them resembled dark objects, but Nesta didn’t want to mention that. She knew she was a responsible woman.

‘Was it a fight?’ asked Cassian, sitting down on an armchair and picking up a crystal globe to examine it. ‘Because if so, you ought to cut them some slack. It’s their instinct to want to fight.’

‘Yes, Commander, you need not remind me how mannerless you Illyrians can be, but this is not it. However, you know very well that we do not condone this sort of irrational behaviour, especially when it comes to younglings. Also, put that down before you destroy it.’

She turned around and glared at Cassian, who immediately put the crystal globe down. Then she set her ancient, almost frightening eyes on Nesta, lips pursued.

‘You forgot to mention that they have begun manifesting their powers. You both know the academy needs to be informed, so we can be prepared for it.’

_‘What?’_

‘Manifesting?’ asked Cassian, standing up. ‘You’re wrong, they aren’t. They’re too young for it, anyway.’

‘There weren’t any signs, and Amren assured me that it takes children longer to manifest their powers, if they have any,’ continued Nesta.

Headmistress Imelda sat in her large, wooden chair, entwining her hands. ‘And she is right, but there are exceptions. The children got into an argument and Evanora set a bunch of toys on fire. When one of them shoved her, Rheya froze his hands. A nasty case of frostbite, but the healers fixed him in no time.’

‘Evie… set things on _fire?_ And Rheya _froze_ someone’s hands?’

Headmistress Imelda nodded. When she glanced at Cassian, there was a huge grin on his face.

‘Why are you grinning?!’

He faltered. ‘Because they stood up for themselves! Headmistress, can I have a word with that boy? You should’ve left his hands frozen, maybe he would’ve learned a lesson this way. What’s his name?’

‘That is irrelevant at the moment, we took care of it. He will be disciplined for what he did. But so will your daughters.’

At that, Nesta raised her eyebrows. ‘Disciplined? For what?’

‘For attacking another child and putting the rest in danger.’

‘They didn’t do it on purpose!’

‘I know, but they need to learn to control it, otherwise they will have more outbursts of this sort. Do not get me wrong, I have no desire to punish your daughters for something that is out of their control, but they need to be taught how to handle their powers and when it is appropriate to use them. Otherwise, they can put themselves at risk as well.’

‘And what does that entail?’ Cassian asked.

‘A tutor, Commander. They are in need of a tutor to teach them.’

Nesta and Cassian exchanged a silent look, already knowing who was going to help them with that. It wasn’t going to be a terrific experience, but neither of them wanted to let anyone else teach their daughters how to handle their magic. They wanted the best, and the best was Amren.

She wasn’t going to like it.

* * *

‘Mommy! Daddy!’

The girls ran into their arms as soon as they caught sight of them. Evie ran straight to her and Rheya to Cassian, both of them giggling and talking.

‘We saw Headmistress Imelda, and she told us about your little incident from today,’ Nesta said, holding Evie up. ‘Anything you want to say to us?’

The girls exchanged a look. Rheya shrugged.

‘That boy was mean. He deserved it.’

‘That’s my girl,’ said Cassian, giving her a high-five. When he saw the look Nesta gave him, be balked. ‘What? She’s right, they shouldn’t let anyone pick on them!’

‘Cassian, don’t encourage them to fight other kids!’

‘I’m not, I’m just saying that they were right to stand up for themselves. Who wants ice-cream?’

‘Me!’

‘No, me, me!’

This was going to be a long talk.


	12. Chapter 12

‘Do you now understand why it’s not okay to hurt other kids?’

They both nodded, although their attention was fixed on their bowls of ice-cream. So was Cassian’s.

They were at a restaurant by the river, sitting at a table right next to the aquarium filled with colourful fish, so the girls could stare at them. It was almost afternoon and the Fae were roaming the streets, ready to go home from work or go out to party. Music was ringing from the main quarter — probably another spectacle or concert. Nesta was surprised the girls didn’t ask to go see what was happening.

It took them almost an hour to explain to the girls why hurting others with their new powers was wrong and what those powers were. She let Cassian explain that part, since he was more versed when it came to it, and as always, the girls were transfixed by his words. They liked listening to stories, and thought that this was one, too.

‘You should’ve told us, though,’ he said at the end of it. ‘When did this happen?’

‘This was the first time,’ said Evie, half her face dirty from all the chocolate. ‘I got mad when that girl took away my doll and didn’t want to give it back. Then her friends agreed with her and started laughing.’

Nesta’s heart ached. Were kids really this mean?

She looked at Cassian and couldn’t help but reach over for his hand. It angered him, obviously, but there was little they could do. And he had been right.

‘I shouldn’t have frozen that boy’s hands?’ asked Rheya, looking at both of them with her wide, blue eyes.

Nesta smiled, taking a napkin to wipe her dirty face, then Evie’s. ‘Next time just stick to punches, okay?’

‘Okay,’ she laughed. ‘Dad, can you take me to play with Dhara? You said I could go!’

‘I definitely didn’t say you could, but fine, let’s go.’

He gave Nesta a quick kiss, then kissed Evie’s head. ‘I’ll see you at home?’

‘Sure. You’re making dinner!’

He sighed as he walked away hand in hand with Rheya, who kept asking if she could fly just for a bit. Evie was still gorging on ice-cream, stoping from time to time to ask her more questions about random things.

‘Do you feel like going to see aunt Feyre?’ Nesta asked her for a while.

‘Yeeeeees! Let’s go, now!’

* * *

Evie adored Feyre for the simple fact that she gave her things. Last time they visited, Feyre gave her a miniature diadem with rubies. She wore it for an entire week, even to bed.

When they entered the townhouse, Evie ran towards the backyard while yelling Feyre’s name, barely containing her glee. It made Nesta laugh.

She got there just in time to see her sister’s face lit up and grin as Evie jumped in her arms. Feyre laughed as she picked her up.

‘I missed you too! Gods, you are so adorable. How was school?’

‘So fun, I set toys on fire and Rheya froze a boy’s hands! We got ice cream after!’

Her amusement turned into concern as she faced Nesta, who just shrugged. ‘They picked on them. He deserved it.’

Evie began explaining the whole altercation while Feyre listened intently to her every word. She was like a child, with her mouth half open and starstruck expression, nodding here and there and even asking questions. While they did that, Nesta went straight for the bassinet next to the table and chairs, where there was a sleeping two year old with arms stretched like a starfish.

Feyre and Rhysand’s son. Caiden. Heir to the Night Court and the sweetest toddler Nesta had ever seen.

Nesta never realised just how loud and temperamental her girls have been until she spent time with Caiden. He only cried when he was hungry, loved eating more than anything and didn’t throw things in people’s faces. Now that he was walking and talking, all he wanted to do was play and talk nonsense.

She leaned over the bassinet and gently touched his dark, curly hair, then his chubby cheeks. He had Rhys’ hair, but Feyre’s eyes and nose. Nesta adored him, and so did the girls; now that he was old enough to play with them, they loved to show him their toys, play dress-up and have tea parties. They had to be supervised, of course, since the girls tended to play rougher at times. Punching their cousin was probably not good for their friendship.

Nesta still remembered when Feyre broke the news — there were many tears, most of them from Rhys. Her pregnancy had been smoother than Nesta’s, obviously, and the birth was celebrated all throughout the court. Nesta had been there when Caiden was born, and watched with teary eyes how her sister cradled her baby against her chest and cried. How Rhys looked at him like he couldn’t believe his eyes and was so terrified of even holding him. It was a beautiful memory.

‘But they said we have to practice with auntie Amren so we don’t hurt others,’ she heard Evie say.

Feyre scrunched her nose. ‘Really? Already?’

Evie nodded, playing with Feyre’s long braid. ‘Mhm. Can I paint something?’

‘Of course you can, munchkin. Make it abstract and colourful!’

Evie hopped from Feyre’s lap and made towards the easel and table full of paints. Feyre had already begun drawing the outline of what seemed to be a landscape, but Evie had other plans in mind; she picked up the nearest brush she could find and splattered as much yellow and purple as she could, then began mixing them together. The outcome wasn’t very pretty, but Nesta still complimented it.

‘How is he?’

‘Exhausted. He was up before dawn and played with Rhys, then fell asleep, then woke up and played with me. I don’t know where he gets all this energy,’ she said.

‘It’s a mystery to me as well.’

‘So, is it true? Do they have powers?’

Nesta nodded and took a seat at the table. Feyre sat in front of her, crossing her legs and barely containing her curiosity.

‘The headmistress called us in and told us about the incident they caused. I didn’t think it would happen so soon.’

‘And you think letting them train with Amren is a good idea? You know she doesn’t really have a soft hand, especially with children.’

‘I know, but she’s also the best. Amren’s not going to terrorise them or scar them for life, anyway.’

‘You’re sure about that?’

Nesta blinked, wondering the same thing. ‘I’ll just have a talk with her before. Better me than Cassian.’

While they talked about how to best handle it, Evie made her way towards the bassinet and, with paint-covered fingers, shook Caiden until he opened his eyes.

‘Caiden, come on, let’s play!’

The boy stood upright and looked for his mother with bleary eyes. Feyre picked him up and kissed his yellow cheeks — thanks to Evie.

‘Evie, really? Why did you wake him up? And your hands are covered in paint as well!’

She looked at her hands with confusion. ‘So? I wanna play! Can he play, auntie Fey?’

‘Do you want to go play with your cousin, my love?’ Feyre asked Caiden, who was still half-asleep, but nodded nonetheless.

She set him down and Evie immediately took his hand and led him towards the canvas she set on the ground, showing him her masterpiece. They picked up new paint tubes and began painting animals.

‘When did they grow so big?’ Feyre sighed, sitting back down. ‘Look at them, they’re so happy. And dirty.’

Nesta laughed. ‘Are they ever clean?’

‘How am I going to get all of that paint from his hair?’

‘Just ask Rhys to do it, I always ask Cassian to give them baths when they’re too dirty. Remember that time they played in the mud? It took him hours to get it all out of their hair. They refuse to let us cut it, so we have to suffer the consequences.’

‘Rhys is already doing everything, I sometimes feel bad to ask him to do any more work. He takes care of him when he wakes up in the middle of the night, feeds him in the morning just so I can get a few more hours of sleep, takes him out to play… It’s like I just had to give birth to him and he took care of the rest,’ she laughed. ‘Not that I’m complaining, though. I wouldn’t have made it on my own.’

‘It takes a village.’

‘It really does. Who knew they’d be so good at it, though?’

‘Don’t even remind me, it’s like Cassian was made for this. His already childish behaviour matches the girls’ perfectly.’

‘You should see Rhys trying to have deep conversations with Caiden, he’s…’ she stopped abruptly, furrowing her brows. ‘I’ll have to finish that story later before Rhys realises we’re talking about him and eavesdrops.’

Confused, Nesta checked the skies, yet there was no sign of Rhysand. As soon as she opened her mouth to ask her if he was on his way here or something, Rhys winnowed a few feet from them, clad in a midnight black suit and polished shoes. Not a single hair was out of place, as usual, and his eyes fell on his mate at once, gleaming. Feyre, still as love-struck as she was years ago, turned sideways and grinned at him.

‘Already back? I thought you wouldn’t be home for another couple of hours.’

‘The meeting was getting too long so I made up an excuse to go. I wanted to see how you were doing. Hello, Nesta. You look less sleep-deprived than last time I saw you.’

Nesta flipped him off, making Feyre chuckle. ‘You try handling three kids.’

‘Cassian won’t be happy to hear that.’

‘Be a darling then and don’t snitch on your sister-in-law. I can hex you.’

Rhys sighed. ‘Out of all the Fae in Velaris, did you really have to befriend Amren? She taught you nothing but evil spells and deadly rituals.’

‘A girl has to be prepared.’

Rhys kissed Feyre’s hand before making his way towards the kids, completely ignoring them. It was always fun to see the males in their life interact with children — how fast they’d stoop to their age and maturity level. It was like they spoke the same non-verbal language.

He picked his son up and kissed him, then sat down as soon as Evie requested it so she could show off their crafty work. He listened intently to their exaggerated explanations, then, when they both requested it, pulled up his sleeves and began painting with them.

‘See? Kids.’

* * *

"So then what did you do?"

"We fought him and we won, of course. Otherwise you two wouldn't be here right now."

"Wow," they both said, exchanging glances.

"Did you kill the king?" asked Evie.

"Yes. Aren't you too young for such stories, though?"

"Dad said that it's never too early to learn about your own history," said Rheya, playing with some hair ties. "I think it's fun."

"Yes, that was what I was worried about," muttered Nesta, her hands preoccupied with Evie's hair.

"Tell us more!" they both pleaded, and as always, Nesta gave in.

They did that almost every night -- after their bath, Nesta would sit with them on their bedroom floor, comb and braid their hair and talk about things. It usually resulted in telling them stories about her life before, the War and their family. They always asked questions and wanted to know more, so of course Nesta told them the truth, but made sure to leave out the gory bits.

As soon as she was finished with Evie's braid, she held up the mirror for her and watched her smile bloom.

"Thank you, mommy!" she exclaimed, then almost threw herself on Nesta in an attempt to hug her.

Laughing, Nesta caught her in time and hugged her back.

"You're very welcome, baby."

"I want one, too!"

Rheya jumped on them, sending all three of them to the ground, laughing and groaning. Nesta hugged both of her daughters to her chest, ignoring the comb that was currently digging into her back. They began tickling her then, because that's what Cassian and her did to them to make them laugh, and succeeded — mostly because of their intoxicating giggles, suffocating her with their weight, but Nesta wouldn't have it any other way.

"Are you three having a party that I wasn't invited to?"

"Yes!" both the girls yelled, still laughing.

_‘Cassian—help—‘_ Nesta tried to say, completely breathless.

"You're going to suffocate your mother," Cassian said, picking Evie up. "And it's not fair, why don't I get any?"

Rheya finally stopped, resting her head on top of Nesta's chest. "Mommy braids our hair."

Cassian gave her an incredulous look. "I braided your hair this morning!"

"Mommy does it better," she said, and Nesta gave her a high five.

Feigning shock, Cassian set a giggling Evie on the ground. Nesta quickly elbowed Rheya, and the smart girl caught on — she stood up and made a run for it, but alas, Cassian was fast. Faster than all of them.

"Gotcha!" he said over Rheya's yells, flipping her upside down. "Care to say that again?"

"Mommy braids my hair better! She can put flowers in it!" she screamed, her face getting redder and redder by the second.

Nesta stood up and prodded Cassian in the ribs. "Don't punish her for saying the truth. Give her to me!"

"Oh really? You wanna play?" he smirked, setting Rheya down. "Fine!"

"Cassian, don't you dare— _Cassian!"_

In a blink of an eye, Cassian placed one hand behind her knees and another on the small of her back, sweeping her off her feet. Her arms circled his neck at once and grimaced.

"You know this is not fair, right? I can't sweep you off your feet."

His grin only widened as he kissed her brow. "You did exactly that the day I met you, my love."

It melted her heart at once.

"Ewwwww!" she heard the girls say.

"That's gross!" said Evie.

Cassian rolled his eyes and glared at them. "What's so gross about being in love? Wait until you get older."

He sat down on one of their beds, Nesta on his lap. She grinned when he snaked his arms around her waist and held her tight, kissing her bare beck.

A part of her, the reckless one, wanted desperately to move around a bit, cause some friction, get a reaction out of him, turn him on— and he _knew_ , because he shot her a warning look that made her stomach flutter.

"Later, then," she whispered, giving him a quick kiss before the girls could complain again. "Girls, aren't you tired? Let's get into bed."

They both dropped their toys and began complaining. Bed time was probably the hardest part of the day — they didn't want to sleep. They had each other to play with, so of course they wouldn't get bored, which made this all the more difficult.

"It's still early! And we have no school tomorrow!"

"It's past midnight, Eve," said Cassian dryly. "And tomorrow we're going to see the horses at the stables! You said you wanted to ride one."

That was enough reason to get them into bed.

"Together or—"

"Together," they said in unison.

"Why do I even ask anymore?" sighed Cassian.

Nesta blew out all the candles while Cassian tucked them in Rheya's bed.

"Where is my—"

"Here's your doll."

Rheya snatched that ugly doll with a toothy smile, muttering a "thank you". Cassian sat down next to their bed and waved at her.

"Go take a shower if you want, I'll tell them a story."

"Are you sure? I can stay, you made dinner and took them to school this morning, I don't mind."

He flipped her off discreetly. "I savour every moment I get to brainwash my munchkins with life advice," he said, ruffling Evie's hair. "Right?"

"Yes!"

"Alright, fine. I love you two very much," she said, leaning in to kiss both of their foreheads. Evie always required three — one on her forehead and two on her cheeks. Rheya also gave her a hug, patting her cheek lovingly with her tiny hand.

"I love you too, mommy," she said.

Nesta never thought how much those words would mean to her one day. She grew up with the idea that she had to have children, but not how to raise them, how to talk to them or what to teach them.Saying that she was clueless was putting it mildly. But she learned along with Cassian, who never even thought that he'd have children one day, and they didn't play by their parents' rules. Nesta wasn't a cold, detached mother. Cassian wasn't an absent father who hated them because they were girls. They were loved, so loved, and receiving their love in return was more precious than words could describe.

"And I!" added Evie, already impatient. "Daddy, tell us a story. _Now!"_

He smirked, bowing his head. "As my tiny lady commands. What story?"

Nesta left her mate and children alone, feeling lighter than ever.

* * *

"The one with the wolves!"

"No, it's boring, the Bone Carver!"

"No, the evil queen!"

"How aunt Fey killed that worm!"

"Tell us about the Illyrian camps!"

"Tell us how you met mom!"

Cassian rested his forehead on the bed's mattress and tried hard not to wince. "Only one, girls."

There was silence for almost ten seconds, after which Rheya declared that she wanted to hear how the two of them met.

Bad story.

Okay, not necessarily _bad_ , but not suitable for them — they needn't know how Nesta hated his guts and how Cassian was torn between falling at her feet or poisoning her wine. So he chose the version of when they _finally_ began to get along.

"Alright," he said, dragging over the armchair to sit in. He picked up the stuffed mermaid and hugged her close to his chest, focusing all of his attention on his wide-eyed girls. "Once upon a time, not very long ago though, in a remote village in the Human Realms, I happened to... _stumble_ upon the most beautiful, intelligentand stubborn human girl."

The girls giggled, eyes glued on him.

"She was fierce and strong in all ways. We were there with your uncles and aunts, and all I could do was stare at her and try to find the rights words to say. Of course, that didn't really work out, so we bickered a lot. For a long time. More than a year, now that I think of it..."

"Mommy says that if you argue with someone a lot, it means you care enough to put in the effort," Rheya pointed out. "So you cared about each other?"

"Of course we did! I cared about her long before I knew she was my mate."

They didn't fully understand the concept of having a mate — and Cassian didn't want them to, anyway — so they thought of it as something that brings two Fae closer for the rest of their lives.

"And were you happy?"

"Well... I was. But I was a bit worried, too. I didn't think your mom loved me."

"But she did?" asked Evie hopefully, as if she didn't know the answer to that already.

Cassian smiled softly. "Yes. Yes, she did. We were friends before we were... anything more, and she was always there for me. We spent a lot of time together, went on missions and adventures, got to know each other better, and then I courted her."

Rheya scrunched her nose. "You mean... Mom was your girlfriend?"

_Not really._

"Yes."

"And she's still your girlfriend?" asked Evie.

"Now she's my mate and wife."

They both regarded him with a confused look. "Why?"

"Why?" he repeated, incredulous. "What do you mean _why?_ Have you been listening to me? Because we love each other very much and we want to be together."

"No, why did mommy say yes? She says boys are easily replaced. How come she kept you?" said Rheya, and Cassian promised himself he'd make Nesta pay for that later.

"Because she loves me a lot."

"And what about aunt Fey and uncle Rhys? Do they also love each other?"

_Too fucking much._ They had no qualms about displaying their love in the most disgusting ways in public.

"Of course they do. And they also love Caiden."

"Do you love Caiden?"

"Well, yes, he's my nephew and your cousin. He's part of our family."

Cassian did love Caiden more than he thought he would. He was an angel, so kind and loving that it sometimes brought tears to his eyes. That boy loved everyone in the family fiercely, including his cousins, despite the fact that they put ribbons in his hair all the time and stole his toys when no one was looking. He trailed after them, mimicked their movements and words and even cried when they would have to go home.

It was also incredible to watch Rhys become a father. He still remembered when they shared the news — there were tons of tears, most of them from Rhys -- and excitement. The whole of Velaris celebrated the news. When Caiden was finally born, Rhys wept again and held him like he was the most precious thing in the world. Cassian knew that feeling well enough, and he was grateful that his brother could experience that firsthand. He was grateful to watch him change nappies as well.

"Do you love him more than us?"

Cassian already knew that that was where they were headed, so he quickly shook his head. "I love you two the most."

"More than you love mommy?" asked Rheya.

"Well, that's a very different type of love, and—"

"Which one do you love more?" asked Evie.

Cassian sighed. "Not this again. I love you two the same amount, which is infinite! Plus, I don't have favourites, ever. Nepotism is for the weak, remember that."

"Can you tell us the story with the wolves now? Otherwise I won't fall asleep," pleaded Evie.

"Of course you won't. Fine, but just this one and then you go to sleep, alright?"

They both nodded.

"Once upon a time..."

* * *

They were out in less than twenty minutes.Cassian found it rather amusing how they loved to downplay how tired they really were, but still fell asleep in the middle of a story.

He disentangled their legs and arms (they hit each other in their sleep sometimes), pulled the covers over them and made sure that they both had their sleeping toys under their arms. As he kissed their warm foreheads, Cassian couldn't help but stare at them for a few seconds -- how big and smart and beautiful they were already. How lucky he was to watch them grow up.

"Are they asleep?" he heard a familiar voice from the doorway.

Nesta was peering in their room, a smile creeping on her face when she realised that yes, they were sound asleep. She motioned for him to come out and, after one last glance and his daughters, he did.

As soon as the door was closed, Nesta raised herself on her tiptoes and kissed him. It took him less than a second to react — it was more of an instinct, really. She had just gotten out of the shower, because her hair was wet and she was smelling of lavender. Cassian traced her jawline, neck and collarbones, delighting in being this close to her without hearing the girls complain about it. Her nightshirt was pooling around her soft thighs, and he didn't hesitate to run a hand over them.

"Are you tired?" she asked, pulling back to survey his face.

This was his absolute favourite side of Nesta. Right before bed, with her hair down and barefoot, too tired to filter her thoughts or care about anything. She looked so young, but Cassian knew better than to challenge that mind behind her blue eyes. Nothing good would come out of it.

"For you? Never," he replied, tucking her long hair behind her pointy ear.

"Good, because I'm still not done with you," she said, clasping his shoulders. "How about we take a trip in the basement?"

"In the basement? What for— Oh. _Oh."_

"It's been a while since you tied me up, don't you think?"

"Well then, we should definitely correct that."

Cassian picked Nesta up, who was trying hard not to burst into laughing, and hurried towards the basement.

They probably wouldn't come out of there until morning.


	13. Chapter 13

_6 years old_

Cassian's fist collided with the soldier's jaw, sending him sprawling on the ground. A few laughed, a few were startled by the deafening crunch of the male's bones. He moaned, clutching his bloody nose, and didn't object when Cassian pulled him up by his collar.

"Want to repeat that again, friend?"

Wisely, the male didn't meet his stare. He watched how the blood dripped on his tunic and shoes.

"Not so brazen now, are we?"

He pushed him back, delighting in the fact that he almost fell over again.

"In position!" he yelled over the crowd, who assembled at once. "Is anyone else going to challenge me? Because I am aching for a real fight, not someone who will be down after just one blow."

Some of the Illyrians snickered at the male with the broken nose.

"No one? Really? What, am I not worth your time? You think you can beat me?"

His words hit home. One of the Illyrians -- quite young, tempered, launched himself at Cassian. He dipped to the side just as the male's fist collided with nothing but air and he caught his other arm, twisting it hard enough to his back that he yelled.

"That's all you can do? After all I've taught you?"

"You saw me coming!" the male yelled.

Cassian twisted his arm harder. ‘That’s not really my problem, is it?’

"I yield, I yield!"

Cassian let go of him, shaking his head as he watched him stumble back to his place.

"Anyone else?"

No answer came. The soldiers stared straight ahead, backs straight and shoulders rolled back, wings tucked in. Cassian almost sighed in disappointment -- he was really craving a round or two with these idiots. They were driving him mad.

They had just finished their basic training and were now training for aerial combat, which was not easy, especially when you couldn't work as a team or follow simple orders. Illyrians weren't exactly obedient, everyone knew that, but Cassian had to make them listen to him somehow. Loyalty was supposed to be earned, but they were running him ragged, especially when they loved challenging him and opposing to certain missions. These punks were no older than twenty five yet still acted like they went through a dozen wars and won them single-handedly. He hated teaching sometimes.

"Right, then let's get airborne and do thirty more laps, then work on our defensive stance!" his voice boomed out over the now muttering crowd. "What was that? Anyone complained? Positions, _now!_ "

They were seconds away from taking to the skies when a piercing cry disrupted them. Cassian recognised that cry at once, and turned around to find a scared-looking Feyre holding Evie's hand.

"What's wrong? What happened?"

He got to his daughter in a second, kneeling before her and checking for any injuries, but there were none. He looked at her red, crying face then, and almost sighed in relief. She wasn't hurt. She was fine.

"I'm sorry, I tried to calm her down but she doesn't want to stay with me anymore and I didn't know what to do, Nesta's in that meeting with Rhys and the other dignitaries and I was alone with Caiden--"

"Feyre, it's fine, really. I can take her."

"She wanted you. Rheya is fine, she's back home with Elain and Caiden."

Cassian nodded. "Alright, I got her. You can go back."

Then Feyre finally noticed the troops. "What about them?"

"You want to take over for me?"

Feyre laughed. "Gods, no. Good luck, though! I'll see you at dinner!"

Before Cassian could say a word, Feyre winnowed from the training grounds, leaving him with his sobbing daughter and a confused audience. He gave them a sharp glare.

"Break!"

They disbanded almost instantly.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Did something happen?"

Evie kept tugging at her bracelet -- a gift from Mor -- while sobbing uncontrollably. Her dark hair was a complete mess, hanging in disarrayed long curls. Her short pants and pink t-shirt were dirty with grass stains, meaning that they've been rolling in the grass.

"Do you want to talk to me?" he asked, cupping her cheek and wiping away her tears. "Did Rheya annoy you?"

She shook her head, still crying.

"Did your aunts annoy you?"

Evie shook her head again. Cassian knew the answers to those questions anyway, but he wanted to get her to talk to him in some way, ground her. In reality, Evie was just terribly tired and exhausted, got annoyed by Rheya and Caiden, who were probably being loud and cheerful, saw that her parents weren't there to immediately guess what was wrong and exploded.

"Do you want a hug?" he tried.

Evie looked at him with tear-filled eyes and nodded at once, then flung herself into his already open arms. Cassian patted her back and kissed her head, reassuring her that she was fine.

"It's okay to feel stressed. You're going to be fine, I promise. You can hang out with me today. Do you want to?"

She nodded, then pulled back to look at him. "B-But mom said you're t-training the soldiers t-today," she said between hiccups.

"So what? You can stay. They were going to practice up in the sky. Do you want to stay and watch or do you want me to take you home?"

Evie considered her options for a second, wiping her wet face. At least she stopped crying.

"Can I stay with you?"

Cassian smiled at his daughter, taking her small hands in his. "Of course, baby. One condition, though: no more crying. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Can I see that adorable, toothless smile of yours?"

Evie giggled, revealing her missing two front row teeth -- they fell out two weeks ago and was incredibly proud of the huge gap in her mouth. She didn't like it when it came to eating, though.

"There's that adorable smile I missed, and your cute little dimples! I swear you get more beautiful every day."

He poked her dimples, earning a laugh from her. It made his heart soar.

"Are you mad I came here?"

His smile faltered. "Why would you even ask that? Of course not! I'd rather spend time with you than this dumb lot."

She giggled again, finally looking at the soldiers. "Won't they mind, though?"

Cassian briefly glanced at his battalion -- some were talking and drinking water, others were watching, satisfied to see their Commander distracted by his kid. Plus, they knew that Cassian wouldn't dare start a fight with Evie on his watch; Nesta and him disagreed on a lot of things, but they were in agreement not to make them witness any sort of violent acts. They were too young for that sort of thing.

Still, he could make them suffer other ways.

"Quite the opposite, Evie. They think that with you here I'll go easy on them."

A glimmer of mischief sparked in her puffy eyes. "Will you?"

"Of course not. Do you want to give them hell?"

"Fuck yes!" she yelled, and Cassian laughed and made to stand up, but then realised what she'd just said.

He raised his eyebrows. "Did you just swear?"

Sheepishly, Evie played with the end of her t-shirt, avoiding eye contact. "Sorry, it slipped. Don't tell mom."

Nesta didn't like it when the girls swore -- well, Evie had more outbursts of this sort than Rheya -- and gave them (easy) chores whenever the swearing got out of hand. Even though they both explained on numerous occasions why it wasn't alright to swear in front of other people, they still found it hilarious.

So did Cassian, to be honest, which is why he was way more lenient when it came to this sort of stuff. Gods knew how much he swore at their age, so he couldn't be a hypocrite.

"I won't as long as you don't swear again. Deal?"

"Deal. Let's go, I want up! Up, up!"

Cassian made a show of lifting her up and huffing in exhaustion. "You're heavier than me!"

"No I'm not!" she laughed. "Come on dad, pick me up already!"

He lifted her just an inch from the ground, sighed and put her back down. "This is all Roslyn's fault. She feeds you too many sweets. I must be getting old if I can't pick you up."

"Daaaaaaad!" she shrieked loud enough that even some soldiers groaned. "NOW!"

"Alright, damn, since when are you so demanding?"

He picked her up, careful of her wings.

"Since I have standards."

"Good girl. Do you want to give the command?"

"Yes!"

He positioned himself in front of the mingling soldiers, his stern face back on. Evie, unaware and thrilled to give an order to an entire battalion, was basically glowing.

"You might want to cover your ears, darling," he whispered to Evie, then cleared his throat. "Soldiers, get in line!"

His voice boomed across the training ground, making the soldiers resume their previous posts.

"We're getting in the air, I want to see your defence manoeuvres!"

Then, he nudged his daughter. "Your turn."

Just like he taught her, Evie straightened her back and raised her clenched fist in the air.

"To the skies, soldiers! Fly, fly, fly!"

And one by one, they did. Evie stared in awe and squealed when they unfurled their wings, bent their knees and shot into the blue sky faster than he could blink. He could feel her own wings twitch under his arms -- Evie loved flying, loved being up in the sky -- and longed for the day he'd see both of them flying just as fast. Still, they were getting the hand of it; they had the best teachers, after all.

"You ready?"

"Ready!"

Cassian spread out his wings and shot into the sky with Evie in his arms, laughing and hollering. They stopped a few hundred feet from the ground, and while the soldiers fell into formation and began fighting and dodging weapons, he looked at Evie's gleeful expression as she took in the landscape below them, the grunting soldiers, their sharp cries and roars -- and he saw excitement in her eyes. How she fidgeted and asked him to move closer, so she could see better, and asked him questions about what they were doing and why; she was a curious one. Cassian knew without a doubt that she would be a warrior some day.

"Fall back further, don't let them get so close to your wings! Dip and dive when they throw spears, or you'll lose your damn wings! Really, Theron, you fell for that trick _again_? How thick are you?! Ten more laps, now!"

While he barked commands and tried his best to supervise their training, Evie would not stop begging him to let her fly for just a minute on her own.

"Please dad, please! You can hold my hand, I'm not going to fly away!"

"Didn't we talk about this? We're too far up and you can't control the colder winds yet, Eve. What if one knocks you over and you lose your balance?"

"You'll be there to catch me!" she grinned.

And she was also so damn good at making him give in, just like her mother. Fuck, he missed Nesta already.

"Promise you won't let go of my hand?"

"I promise!"

"Don't mention this to your mom or she'll kill me. Wings out, lean front, don't falter. Okay?"

"I got it, come on!"

Cassian held her by her armpits while she spread out her black, shiny wings, batting them faster and faster until he was certain he could let go. A look of pure bliss crossed her face as she leaned over, closing her eyes as the wind whipped her smiling face. Gods, when did she grow so much? She was tall, so tall and lean, and had his darker skin. Yet every time he looked at her bright eyes and all-knowing smile, he saw Nesta. To him, Evie was the splitting image of his mate; Rheya was more like him in character.

"This is so much better than training!" she yelled, still gripping his hand. "Can I go there with them?"

Cassian barked a laugh. He had to appreciate her nerve.

"No way in hell. Do you want to get body slammed?"

"Yes!"

"No, you don't. You can do that in a few years, though."

"Years?!"

"Yes, this way I can make sure not all of your bones will be broken."

Cassian hoped that would simmer down her excitement, but on the contrary; it only fuelled her more.

"How fast will they heal?! Will it hurt a lot? Do you think Rheya will want to try it out? If not, can you convince her?!"

Sighing, Cassian decided that there was no way in hell he could supervise the Illyrians with Evie on his watch. He signalled to his second-in-command to take charge and after she nodded, Cassian flew down, dragging his daughter after him.

"Let's fly a bit more! We can race!"

"Wouldn't you rather go home?"

"No!"

"Same. But we should go pick up Rheya, and then we can go see if mom is done with work. What do you say?"

Evie nodded, eyes sparkling with joy. "Can we race?"

Nesta didn't trust them to fly on their own at fast speed, but Cassian knew how capable they both were, and that they could race perfectly fine at lower altitudes. He let go of her hand and flew towards the townhouse, glancing back just once.

"Last one does the dishes tonight!"

That was enough motivation for her to sprint after him.

* * *

"And the Emissary from the Autumn Court? Is he here yet?"

"They killed him on his way here."

"Oh, well. At least we don't have to deal with that."

"Miss Archeron, you don't understand... He was killed on our soil," said Eleri.

Nesta glanced at Eleri. "So?"

"What if they accuse us of his untimely death?"

"Untimely? Eleri, the man was well over a thousand years old and a pain in the ass, I expect them to rule it over as an accident. No one wanted to enter negotiations or share plans with that snitch."

Eleri nodded, writing down other unnecessary things.

"Miss Archeron? We lost the deal with the some of the Illyrian tribes as well. They don't want to forge weapons as long as we don't grant them that extra land they've been vying after."

That struck a nerve.

The words came from Fenrir, one of the dignitaries in the embassy. He was a tall man with fair hair and a neatly trimmed beard, and his yellow eyes were as cunning as his mind. Nesta always sent him on high-risk missions, knowing that he could handle threats -- and poisons -- better than anyone she knew.

"Why wasn't this brought to my attention earlier?"

"I was just informed of this earlier this morning, my lady. They won't relent unless we give them the land or raise their payment, which I don't think you want."

"Of course I don't, we raised it only three months ago! Are they that greedy?"

"They're war lords," said Wulfric, another dignitary. "Greed is what drives them."

"Perhaps you should speak with their representatives from Velaris," suggested Fenrir. "Maybe you'll come to a mutual agreement?"

Nesta scowled at his placid smile. "You mean my mate. My _mate_ is their _representative_ , Fenrir. You want me to enter negotiations with him and not kill him? Have you _met_ Cassian, Fenrir?"

"Several times, my lady."

"Does he seem the type of male that gives in to demands?"

"Not at all."

"Then why would you even suggest that?!"

Fenrir shrugged, now grinning. "Play the mate card. Maybe he'll give in to _you_."

That almost made her laugh. "Cassian gives in to many things, but when it comes to politics, we rarely settle. Plus, we prefer not to mix business with pleasure."

"Then you won't be upset when you find out he made a demand of more livestock and spices for some well-endowed camps and payed half the price."

"He _what?!"_

Before Nesta could launch into a tirade about this matter, the doors of her office were thrown open as two small figures ran as fast as they could towards her.

"Mom! Mommy, mommy!"

Nesta had just enough time to turn her chair around before her daughters jumped on her, their arms squeezing her neck and giggling as they clung to her.

"I didn't expect you two here! Gods, I missed you so much. So, so, so much!"

She kissed their heads as she squeezed them back, delighting in their familiar and dear scent. Rheya smelled of lavender and citrus, as always, while Evie smelled of fresh air and nighttime, which could mean one thing; Cassian took her flying up high. Again.

Their eyes met across the room, and though her heart swelled at the sight of her mate in his flying gear, looking all ready to fight, the recent news made her glower at him.

His smile quivered just a little bit. He knew he was in trouble.

The girls pulled back and began talking about their day. While Evie was rambling about flying with the battalion -- at which point Nesta wanted to throttle Cassian -- Rheya, her sweet, sharp daughter, went over to Fenrir to ask him about what they were talking about.

"Trust me, my sweet, it's better if you don't know," he laughed. "How about I show you some interesting documents, though? Have you ever seen the Peace Accords? The original version, of course."

At that, Rheya beamed. "No! What are those? Evie, come see!"

Fenrir stood up and looked at Nesta. "Can I take them?"

"Of course, I'll come by to pick them up after we're done here. Can you handle them?"

Fenrir smirked, looking all too peaceful, even though both of them were tugging on his sleeves and demanded answers. "I have four children of my own, Nesta. They ran me ragged years ago. I'll be alright."

They left without a glance behind, though Nesta did notice that Rheya's long, light hair was splattered with paint, as were her sweater and pants, and Evie somehow managed to tear a whole in her pants. Figures.

As soon as they were out, Nesta's smile dropped. Cassian shut the door behind him and sat in Fenrir's chair.

"What did I do now?"

Nesta shoved the document from which Fenrir read the demand in his face. "You think I wouldn't find out?"

Cassian barely glanced at the thing. "I didn't even think you'd have to deal with it, since it's nothing too important, so why would I bring it up?"

"Nothing too important? You're trying to scam us!"

"They don't have that many resources!"

"How dare you lie to me! I know well enough the status of each camp, and I mean the _real_ economical status, not the bullshit you feed us. You think we don't know just how deep their coffers run?!"

"Do you also know how deep the Velaris ones run? Because we're a lot richer than them, and we won't starve because of a few missing gold coins."

"A few? We're talking thousands here!"

"We're loaded, they're not!"

"This isn't about who has more money, Cassian. If we cut them some slack, the rest of the camps will demand the same sort of treatment. We can't tax them less just because you like them more."

To her utter annoyance, Cassian crossed his arms. "Hell we can't."

"What happened to 'I don't play favourites', you two-faced imbecile?!"

"Only when it comes to our children!"

Nesta managed to calm herself long enough to claim her seat at the head of the table and motion for Eleri and Wulfric to give them some privacy. They left the room in a hurry, and she couldn't blame them; they were more than often witnesses to their conflicts, even if they argued about what to eat or who forgot one of the kids where. This was nothing out of the ordinary.

Still, Nesta stood by her statement: she'd prefer not to mix business with pleasure, because they were both stubborn as fuck. None would give in easily.

But as soon as they were alone, Cassian brought his chair close enough to hers that he could give her a quick kiss. Despite her anger, she kissed him right back.

"How mad are you right now?"

"Very mad."

He ran a finger up her thigh. "I can unwind you pretty fast, if you'd like."

"'Pretty fast'? You're not exactly selling yourself, darling."

Nesta yelped when Cassian gripped both of the armrests and turned her chair around, facing him fully, then gripped her knees and pulled them apart faster than she could react. She was glad she was wearing pants, because otherwise he'd have easier access to the place where he shouldn't touch right now. Not while she was at work, supposedly.

And yet...

"I'd love nothing more than to prove you how long I can last, sweetheart, but we're going to have an audience in a bit, and I don't want to scar my kids for the rest of their lives. They shouldn't even know what sex is."

Nesta grinned, leaning closer to him, touching his stubble-covered chin. She loved how rough it felt under her hands, how it tickled her fingers, how at night it tickled her thighs...

"They'll find out in a couple of years, anyway. I can't wait to see you complain about that."

"Please don't ruin my mood. This was about us."

"And how you slithered your way into politics, which is _my_ domain," she pointed out, her anger slowly returning. "Do you see me commanding your troops around? We both know they'd listen to me, since I'm scarier than you, but that doesn't mean I'd do well!"

He nodded, half-listening, still moving his fingers up and down her thighs. "You do realise I've had a hand in this court's politics for centuries, right?"

"That's because Rhys was running short on smart Fae like me. He had to do with what he had. Thank the gods I came around."

Cassian's eyes met hers as a devious smile crept upon his face. Nesta tried not to swallow too loudly.

"Aren't you feisty today. We can always argue this out in the ring or the bedroom. Which one do you prefer?"

She opened her mouth to reply, them promptly closed it when his fingers almost touched her where she now needed him desperately. The nerve he had...

"Don't play with me," she whispered as he leaned to kiss her bare neck. "We're not alone, you idiot."

"I don't see anyone else here," he said as he kissed a sensitive spot. "except my intelligent, vicious and absolutely gorgeous mate. Have I told you how beautiful you are today?"

"Flattery won't get you anywhere," she said, then closed her eyes when he kissed her behind the ear.

"It did get me a wife and two kids, so I think I did pretty well. Now how about you let that payment as it is and we can have some fun?"

Nesta's eyes snapped open as she pushed him off, mouth agape. "I can't believe you! Trading sex for political favours? That's it, we're breaking up for a week. Go persuade someone else."

"I was joking!" he laughed, seizing her hand as she stood up and made to leave. "I was joking, smartass. I'll ask Azriel to handle this. We're not breaking up for a week, last time you really took it to another level of pettiness."

Nesta stared at him, feigning shock. "What are you talking about?"

"Remember when we went to that party and you flirted with those males just to piss me off?"

"I don't recall that happening."

"You let them buy you drinks!"

Nesta rolled her eyes. "I'd let the Bone Carver buy me drinks, Cassian, you're reading too much into things."

"Would you also let him touch your ass?"

Nesta blinked. "I broke that guy's hand anyway, so why does it matter? You flirted with that female from the Summer Court!"

"Flirted?" he furrowed his brows. "She asked me how I destroyed that building! You almost hexed her for laughing at one of my jokes!"

"Yes Cassian, because your jokes aren't funny and she shouldn't have laughed, which implies that she fake-laughed as a way to please you and make you interested in her! It's not that complicated!"

He looked so confused that it was almost hilarious. Sighing, Nesta pulled back her hand and shook her head.

"You're impossible and I'm right. Let's go find the girls."

"So we're no longer breaking up?"

"Of course we are. Come on, I'm starving, let's go eat somewhere."

* * *

They stopped to eat at one of their favourite restaurants in the old city centre. The streets were bustling with all sorts of Fae, street performers played and danced and somewhere by the wall of one of the Palaces, the artists painted the sun setting over the glistening river. The sky bloomed with dozens of colours and seagulls cried above their heads, sometimes diving in an attempt to steal food from food stalls or even tables. They were seated at a table where they could gaze at the landscape of Velaris, with its bright houses of all shapes and sizes and the joyful people. Nesta rarely got tired of doing that.

"A hippo would definitely beat a shark. Do you know how powerful their bites are?"

"Do you know how many teeth a shark has?" Cassian countered back, refusing to believe Rheya.

The girl set down her fork and cocked her head at Cassian. "Teeth are nothing in comparison to the brute force of their bite. I can draw it out for you, if you'd like."

Cassian also set down his fork, giving Rheya an acidic smile. "Sharks are more dangerous than hippos. You can't outrun one."

"You are more likely to encounter a hippo than a shark. Plus, they are social creatures and hang out in groups, sometimes with dozens of them. Sharks are solitary creatures and have to fend for themselves the minute they are born. You can escape one shark, but it's unlikely you can escape a hundred hippos.

Nesta tried hard not to smirk at Cassian, who leaned back in his chair with a look of defeat and pride on his face. Must've been hard to be so proud and so annoyed at the same time by his own child.

"Since when do you know so many things about animals, anyway?"

Rheya shrugged, picking up her fork to continue eating her rice and vegetables. "Since I learned how to read. What's your excuse?"

"When I was your age I had more pressing matters than learning about animals, darling."

"Like what?"

"Survival?"

Rheya gave him a weird glance. "Really? Mom says you're more spoiled than us."

"That's not true!" objected Nesta. "What did we say about snitching, anyway?"

Cassian gave her a look that promised nothing good. "So it is true."

"No."

"Yes," said Rheya.

Nesta frowned at her daughter. "You're not really helping me out, Rheya."

"You didn't let me eat cake last night, so this is payback."

"Because that was _my_ cake," intervened Evie, who was too busy stuffing her face with lamb chops and potatoes -- same thing as Cassian ate -- to participate in the conversation. "You always eat my dessert."

"Because you rarely eat dessert," muttered Rheya, before going back to eating.

They had such strange habits when it came to eating. Despite Nesta's best efforts to teach her proper manners, Rheya talked a lot during dinner, and she always dragged Cassian into debates about weird stuff. Cassian, eager to play her games, never backed down. Evie was big on eating, so she usually stayed quiet and ate as fast as she could -- to hell with manners -- and delighted in finishing first. Then she'd ramble about things with Rheya, who as always up for talking, and ignored the two of them.

Which was exactly what was happening right now. Nesta took them in for a second -- how tall they were, how different and yet alike they looked; how one loved bright colours and Illyrian trainings and flying and the other knowledge and games and magic. Evie loved people, while Rheya preferred keeping to herself when it came to strangers, but was louder than all of them sometimes. And how much they fought over the stupidest shit, yet would rarely sleep apart or not play together. They knew each other best, after all; they looked out after one another.

Noticing her staring, Cassian clasped her hand under the table. "Still in awe of them?"

"I don't think I won't ever be," she said, shaking her head. "It's amazing how much someone can annoy you but you would still do anything for them."

"Yeah, I feel the same way about you."

"I'm not annoying."

"You are sometimes," he grinned, kissing the back of her palm. "Hey, Rheya, what about whales and octopuses? Which one is more dangerous?"

Both Nesta and Evie sighed.

"Not again," said Evie. "Mom, make them stop!"

"You think I don't want to?"

Rheya, on the other hand, was close to jumping up and down from excitement. She really loved showing off.

"Well, the octopus..."

* * *

Nesta was attempting to read a book when Cassian walked out of their bathroom in nothing but a towel, dripping wet and unaware of her staring at him. The book forgotten in her hands, she watched him move from here to there, grabbing random toiletries, combing his hair, dropping the towel and putting on his pyjama bottoms, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. He'd twirl the comb between his fingers as if it were a dagger, and did the same with his toothbrush in the bathroom, because she could still see his reflection in the mirror. After he was done he stepped out on the balcony overlooking the city, spread his wings as far as he could and stretched, muscles flexing. Way behind his physical attributes, Nesta was more enchanted by the way his mind worked; how his mind tracked the movements of the Fae under their balcony and saw what happened at dozens of yards away. By now she knew that he felt her staring at him, yet he said nothing, tapping his fingers on the rails instead.

They rarely had such quiet nights. The girls were sound asleep in their bed after Nesta read them _seven_ damn storybooks, excited to go to their magic practice lesson with Amren tomorrow. For some wild, strange reason, the girls loved Amren; probably because she didn't treat them like kids, but as grown ups, and that made them feel responsible. Nesta was thankful that Amren didn't coddle her kids, though she knew she never would have in the first place.

"Are you going to stare at me for much longer?" he asked, still looking at the brightly lit city.

"Can't I stare at my mate? It's not my fault you're so gorgeous."

Cassian briefly glanced at her over his shoulder. "I though we broke up."

"You know I can't be parted from you for too long. Come to bed?"

When he saw that she nearly threw her book away and moved to her side of the bed, snuffling out all the candles except two, Cassian gave in. He left the balcony doors open -- they both enjoyed the sound of the loud city at night -- and sat on the edge of the bed, hand reaching over the silk covers for hers.

"What's wrong?" she asked, intertwining their fingers, fidgeting with his wedding ring.

He shook his head, smiling softly at their hands. "Nothing, actually. Nothing's wrong."

When he looked up at her, Nesta noticed that his eyes were glossy.

"I never dared to hope that nothing would be wrong for me. I guess it just hit me."

Nesta raised herself upright and touched his dear face with her free hand. He leaned into her touch, still smiling.

"You deserve a happy life more than anyone I know, my love. You're the best thing that happened to me."

"And you to me," he said, kissing her wrist. "We got lucky."

"Extremely lucky."

"And we have two healthy, smart and loud children. Is this the equivalent of having it all? Because it feels like it."

"According to society, yes, it is. I never thought it would be so fulfilling, though. But that's probably because every time I look at them, I see you. They have your fire and passion."

"And your wits and beauty," he grinned.

Nesta laid her head on his thigh, still holding his hand. "I love you, you know that, right?"

He nodded, squeezing her hand. "I know."

"Sometimes I don't even think it's healthy, how much I love you," she chuckled. "I remember the things I heard and saw in the Human Lands. How over years, love dims in a marriage. The man usually has affairs while the woman is stuck home, maintaining the social status or taking care of the children. I thought that's what marriage was like after a few years, and that love would eventually go away, but I love you more every day. I know it will never go away, no matter what happens. You'll always be my greatest love."

He kissed her forehead, then her lips, and it was such a tender kiss that it almost shattered her heart. When his hands caressed her face and held her like she was the most precious thing in the world. Nesta almost crumbled.

It shouldn't be possible, to harbour so much love for a single person, yet she did. It took her a long time to do so, and longer to even find him, but every step was worth it. He was worth it.

"I love you," he said between kisses. "You're my whole heart, Nesta. I will love you until my last day on this world, and then in the next one."

"Don't make such promises, you may regret it in fifty years."

He laughed, kissing her nose. "Probably, but it will be worth it. You're worth it."

"Gods, how can I ever stay pissed at you when you say things like that?"

"Don't get pissed at me then," he proposed.

"Highly unlikely."

He nudged her up so he could lay down, then pulled her into his open arms. She kissed him once, then twice, before laying her head on his shoulder, moving her leg over his while he ran his fingers through her hair.

"Why don't you wear it down out or at work? It's so beautiful."

"It gets in the way. Plus, I know how much you love it, so I don't want to indulge you too much or distract you."

"You're so annoying. I don't mind it, though, since I get to see it every night."

Nesta looked up to him and flicked his nose. "Will you ever stop being so cocky?"

"Never. You love it, though."

Before Nesta could say something, Cassian's attention moved to their door, and before she could ask what was wrong, a soft knock made her sit back upright. She watched as the door was opened by none other than Rheya, whose eyes were red and puffy as she was clinging to her doll, hands slightly shaking.

Nesta was immediately out of bed and kneeling in front of her.

"What is it, baby?"

"I-I had a bad dream," she said, her lips trembling.

As soon as Nesta pulled her in for a hug, Rheya sobbed, arms circling her neck.

"It's okay, it's over, it wasn't real," she whispered, running her hand up and down her back. "It was just a bad dream, darling. You're alright."

She pulled back to look at her and Cassian with tears-filled eyes. "C-Can I sleep here tonight?"

"Of course you can," answered Cassian. "Come here."

Nesta didn't let go of her hand as she climbed up in their bed and went straight to Cassian's waiting arms, who tried his best to soothe her. Nesta covered her and ran her fingers through her soft curls.

"Do you want to talk about the dream?" asked Cassian, whose eyes met Nesta's. They were full of concern, yet this wasn't the first time Rheya or Evie had a bad dream -- they always came here or woke each other up with their crying.

"I was alone in a dark room," she whispered. "And I called out for mom and she wasn't there, and neither were you or Evie. You were all gone."

Nesta knew all about nightmares; she'd had hundreds of them after being Made and suffered through them, but to hear that her baby girl, the most gentle and compassionate soul she's ever met, would have to experience them was terrifying and horrible. She rested her hand on her shoulder, trying hard not to snatch her into her arms and never let go.

"We would never leave you, baby," she said.

"Yes, we're always going to be right here, with you and Eve. You're stuck with us."

"You'll never be alone, Rheya. That's what families are for. You'll be tired of us one day, you'll see."

She pulled back from Cassian to look at her with uncertainty. "Promise?"

"Of course I promise! Have I ever broke any promises I made to you?"

She shook her head, sniffling loudly. "No."

"There you go. Bad dreams aren't prophecies or warnings, so you have nothing to be worried about. As long as I'm alive, I'll be with you. And I'm pretty difficult to kill, you can ask your dad."

"She's right," approved Cassian, who was still holding her hand.

Without warning, Rheya flung herself in her arms, resting her head on her chest.

"I love you, mommy."

"I love you more, darling."

"Can you sing me that song?"

Nesta smiled. "The one with the lost princess who fell in love with the thief?"

"Mhmm," she mumbled, eyes already closed.

"Oh, I like that one," said Cassian, laying his head on the pillow. "I love their story."

Nesta raised her eyebrows, amused. Of course he did.

As soon as she began to sing the song from the story, Rheya began to calm, her wings finally settling. Her arm was over her lower back and Cassian intertwined their fingers, smiling softly while she sang to their daughter.

According to them and her two sisters, Nesta could sing beautifully. She didn't think so, and definitely didn't saw it as a skill until the twins were born and managed to sing them to sleep. But whenever she sang, Cassian was always there to listen, and the look on his face... it almost made her voice quiver.

All the while, Nesta kept her eyes on Cassian. There had been a time when she couldn't do that, because she knew the love in her eyes would give her away, but now she showed that love to him in every way possible. She looked at him and saw eternity there.

He moved closer, letting go of her hand to caress her face. Rheya was almost asleep between them, opening her eyes here and there in an attempt to show them that she was still awake.

Cassian loved this particular story because it reminded him of them. Nesta was by no means a princess, of course, but to him, she was from the upper class, despite her years and years of living in poverty. The princess in the story was fierce, headstrong and resilient, qualities he claimed he saw in her every day, though she didn't exactly feel like that. And the thief -- he was a lone youth who travelled the lands in pursuit of glory and fame, despite his unfortunate background, and their paths collided. He always pointed out how similar their relationships were: none could stand each other at first. Then, due to their circumstances, they had to cooperate, which made them allies, and as time passed and they got to know each other, they became friends. At long last, when the princess reclaimed her kingdom, they admitted to their growing feelings for each other.

When the song was over, Rheya was fast asleep. She tucked her mess of a hair behind her pointy ear, leaning to kiss her forehead.

"I hate it when they have nightmares," she whispered. "It pains me to see them crying."

"I know, sweetheart, I hate it too. But at least they come to us for comfort, which I'm grateful for. I'd hate if they suffered through them on their own."

"Like I did?"

"You think you did. I was always in the room next to you, and whenever you woke up screaming, I'd sit outside your door for ages, hoping you'd come out, ask for someone. I knew you'd murder me if I came to you, so I let you come to me."

"I didn't know you did that," she said, furrowing her brows. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Cassian shrugged. "Would you have talked about it back then?"

Nesta smiled sadly. Those had been the worst moments in her life, but in the back of her head, she knew she had Cassian. "No, probably not. But I did wake you up on numerous occasions afterwards, anyway. I still had nightmares even after we confessed. Gods, it must've been annoying for you."

"Don't be silly, it wasn't. I mean it scared the living shit out of me, but at least I could finally be there for you. I think that's when you began to allow yourself to be vulnerable around me."

"I'm still trying to decide if it was a good decision," she joked.

Cassian flicked her nose. "It was. I never expected this relationship to be easy, and I never wanted easy in the first place."

"What about now? Do you still think it's difficult?"

He made a show of pondering on her question. When she nudged him with her foot, he grinned.

"Just the right amount. You're my best friend, Nes, not just my mate. And you know how much I love to annoy my friends."

Nesta tried hard not to laugh. "I can't wait to see how annoyed you'll be when I leave on my business meeting for two days and you'll be on your own."

His grin fell. "What? When?!"

"In a week."

"I can handle the girls on my own!"

"I know you can," she nodded, holding back her smirk. "Because you always indulge them."

"That is not true!"

"You rarely say no to them. Remember when you bought her," she gestured with her chin towards Rheya, "an entire ice cream cake because she failed that test?"

"What else was I supposed to do? She was sad!"

"You don't buy them gifts when they fail tests!"

"You bought them a pony last year!"

"So what? They love ponies!"

"I had to take care of it!"

A sigh interrupted their verbal sparring. "Can you shut up? I want to sleep," Rheya mumbled, turning on her other side.

Both of them winced.

"Sorry, honey," said Cassian. "Your mom was being annoying."

Nesta opened her mouth to say something, but Cassian moved his index to his mouth, gesturing for her to shut up. She scowled, giving him the middle finger.

"I love you too, sweetheart."

Nesta fell asleep soon after that, and their hands found their way back to each other.


	14. Chapter 14

_8 years old_

‘And after that we can stop and feed the ducks. But you can’t skip on your magic lessons again, Amren’s gonna flip out if you bail on her again.’

‘No she won’t, aunt Amren loves us,’ said Evie, bouncing up and down.

‘She threatened to turn us into frogs if we misplaced her vials with poisons again,’ commented Rheya, ‘so I’m not sure about the love part. Can we go to the puppet show tonight?’

‘We can’t, we have to go see your aunts tonight! And we can’t… Oh, look, girls, your mom’s desecrating a corpse. Hello, sweetheart.’

Nesta looked up from the remains of the body and grinned at her mate and daughters. ‘I didn’t expect you to be back so soon.’

‘Who’s that?’ asked Evie, frowning at the withered corpse. ‘And what did he or she do to you?’

They were both clinging to Cassian’s arms, who was currently cocking his head and analysing the situation; he was probably wondering when did she have time to drop off the girls at school, order them a cake, finish up some paperwork, sit in on a meeting with Rhys and Feyre, sit on another one with some foreign dignitaries, and dig up a corpse and transport it to their house, where it currently lay on her desk in her office.

‘Don’t worry, he’s been dead for decades. I just need a tiny little bones for some spells I’ve been working on and I couldn’t do it in the cemetery. It felt wrong and I was somehow certain that the neighbouring spirits weren’t too happy about it.’

‘So you thought that bringing it to our house would lighten up the mood and the ghosts wouldn’t follow you? Well, I can’t blame them, this house is a menace.’

‘What spell are you working on? Why is it dried up like that? Was it a Fae?’

Rheya came dropped her backpack on the floor and raced to the table, surveying the corpse with a rather disturbing curiosity.

‘Ew, that’s disgusting,’ muttered Evie, then turned towards Cassian. ‘Can you make me pancakes? Actually, no, I’m too sick after seeing that creepy thing. Can we go egg Verena’s house? She’s been awful to me this morning.’

Cassian seemed to actually _consider_ it until Nesta glared at him while working on the corpse. ‘No, but we _can_ steal her ugly bike and toss it down her chimney.’

‘Deal! Bye, Mom!’

‘Bye, honey, have fun and don’t get caught!’

‘I never do!’

Rheya took a seat on her chair and whirled around. ‘She says that every time, but she always gets caught.’

‘Give her a break, one day she’ll get better at it. Us finding out about her tricks and schemes will only motivate her to try harder.’

‘Aren’t you supposed to be telling us to do the opposite of that?’

Nesta stopped, fidgeting with her gloves while staring into nothing. ‘I think I spend too much time with your dad. Can’t believe I’m picking up the things that used to annoy me most about him.’

‘You still haven’t answered my questions.’

As she pulled out one rib and deposited it on a tray, Nesta looked at her daughter. Her ponytail came undone and it was barely hanging on with all that hair (both of them refused to get it cut, so it reached their waists) and there were rips in her new stockings as well. Despite that, her bright face held her usual curiosity, and those eyes gleamed with excitement. One would think that seeing a corpse would put her off, but Rheya was always desperate to learn more about everything there was to know.

‘His name was Eldar something, dug him up from somewhere near the Hewn city. There were a few guards who realised what I was doing and were ready to burn me, but I was fast. He was a sorcerer back in the day. I need the remnants of a dark sorcerer from a powerful line to create a dark object.’

‘What will that object do?’

‘Trust me, you don’t want to know. It may or may not involve some screaming.’

‘Will you use it for your meetings?’

‘I sure hope so. How was school?’

Then her little face fell, and so did Nesta’s smile.

_‘Again?_ Oh, I’m coming to school tomorrow and I’m putting a bounty on their heads, and you’re not stopping me this time. I’ll talk to—‘

‘No, you’ll just make things worse!’

‘Worse? Rheya, I’m not going to sit around while my daughter is being bullied by some horrible, entitled girls. I’ve had enough experience with those in the Human Realms, and trust me that they won’t stop until the hair pulling starts.’

Rheya frowned. ‘Dad says that pulling hair is a shitty fighting manoeuvre.’

‘Did he also use the word ‘shitty’? I’m asking in case I need to bring up some bad things he did if we have an argument in the foreseeable future.’

‘He also said that snitches get stitches.’

Nesta gritted her teeth. Of course he did.

She dropped her tools, took off her gloves and kneeled in front of her chair. This wasn’t new — there were a group of girls at their school that kept picking on Rheya. She was a shy one, so she didn’t do anything about it or asked for help, until one day they pushed her hard enough that she fell on her wing. Evie, who had been told not to do or say anything to either her or Cassian, lost it — she punched that one girl so hard that she broke her nose and then kicked another one in the head so hard that she knocked her out instantly. It ensued mayhem, with parents demanding that Evie be expelled or put to work, as if their daughters were the victims. That had happened weeks ago, and both Cassian and Nesta thought that the bullying stopped.

Cassian had been outraged when he found out. Outraged that someone dared to bully his daughter, that Evie got to only two of the three girls before they had to pin her to the ground to stop her and didn’t let her finish, and that the parents actually expected for _her_ to apologise for what she’d done. During the meeting with those parents and the headmistress, Cassian backed Evie up with no remorse whatsoever, saying that it was within her right to protect her sister from their ‘malevolent hellspawns’. Nesta agreed — no one was going to pick on their children and not expect consequences. However, after ensuring that no one was going to kick Evie out and that their children would stop picking on Rheya, Cassian and Nesta had a talk with both of them. With Evie to tell her that even though they didn’t blame her for protecting their sister, perhaps knocking someone out wasn’t the best option. Cassian had to force those words out — he _fully_ supported knocking them out. Even Azriel and Rhys agreed, which made things worse. But Evie understood that she had to simmer down when it came to confrontations and had to remember that it wasn’t fair to hit someone who couldn’t even throw a punch. She had an advantage, but she wasn’t supposed to abuse it.

Cassian didn’t agree with _that_ either, and Nesta was neutral. They were their daughters, for gods’ sakes — _of course_ they wanted them to be able to protect themselves and each other at any cost.

With Rheya, it was more difficult. Evie just shrugged and said that she won’t hit as hard next time, which made Cassian laugh. Rheya wasn’t just as careless. She knew how to throw a punch, too, but didn’t, which worried them.

They picked on her because she was quieter than the rest. They found her silence as a weakness, and then pounced on her. They made fun of her wings, her heritage (which she made sure to mention to their parents and headmistress numerous times, since they claimed to value ‘diversity’) and even for her answers in class. Which made no sense whatsoever to them, because Rheya was smart; she was so smart, it was freaking her out. Of course she knew those girls saw her as competition, and sought to dim her light, scare her into shutting up. Nesta just didn’t understand why Rheya never said a word about it.

She took her small hands in hers and searched her face.

‘What was it this time?’

‘We were in art class, and one of them knocked over her water jug and paint over my wings. I… I left before Evie noticed, because she was on the other side of the room with Dhara, and dried them in the bathroom.’

Her blood churned as the words left her daughter’s mouth; this was it. They were getting those girls out of that school.

‘I… I didn’t say anything to them. I know I should’ve, but I-I…’

‘No, no, darling, it’s okay, don’t feel bad about that. Come here.’

Rheya hugged her tighter than usual, which meant that she _did_ feel bad about it. Nesta worried that not those girls’ actions hurt more but the fact that people kept expecting her to lash out at them, which wasn’t her thing.

‘Listen to me. Just because people like your sister lash out, it doesn’t mean that you have to do it as well. Those girls are horrible, _horrible_ people and you shouldn’t listen to them for one second. I know you, and I am amazed by you every damn day.’

She pulled back to cup her red cheeks. ‘You’re the smartest and most creative person I have ever met, Rheya. Don’t dim your light because of some petty Fae children. And don’t you dare feel bad that you don’t react the same way other people do. You can always come to me or—‘

‘Oh, I didn’t say anything to them, but I slipped something in their drinks afterwards.’

Shit.

Shitshitshitshitshit.

‘What did you put in their drinks?’

She didn’t even hide the worry in her voice. Rheya had access to dangerous potions and vials in Amren’s apartment, and was stealthy enough to sneak one without Amren’s knowledge. She could also tell them apart, which meant that she knew which ones were the fatal ones, and that would…

‘Don’t worry, I didn’t put mercury or cyanide in their water.’

Her sigh of relief made Rheya smile.

‘What was it, then?’

‘They’re going to wake up with some ugly pig tails tomorrow. _Actual_ pig tails.’

‘Will they… go away?’

‘Yes, if they cut them off.’

Nesta gaped at Rheya. ‘You’re more evil than I thought. I am so proud of you, you have no idea.’

Rheya giggled as Nesta hugged her one more time, running her hand up and down her back.

‘I also stole their lunch money.’

‘Your father will weep tears of joy when he hears it.’

‘I know, he taught me that trick.’

‘He teaches you too many things.’

‘That’s what he said about you when I froze his soup when he wouldn’t let me fly during that storm.’

‘He was right, though.’

‘I know. I was still angry. Tell me more about this dark object, maybe I’ll make one of my own!’

She bolted for the table, ready to examine the corpse. Nesta stood up, her chest almost bursting with pride — finally. Finally she stood up for herself, in her own way.

They were still kicking those girls out of school, though.

* * *

Hours later, Rheya was off somewhere in the house doing her homework, and Nesta had just finished with that creepy corpse. She tossed the remains in a coffer and made a note to transport it back to the Hewn city sometime in the future, although she was pretty sure Eldar didn’t have anywhere to be. He could wait.

She was stacking some books away when Cassian and Evie returned, the halls reverberating with their laughter. Nesta smiled instinctually while climbed on the ladder, waiting for them to burst in her office any time now.

‘Mom, mom, guess what! We turned her dog into an ugly toad!’

‘Just for a couple of days,’ intervened Cassian. ‘It won’t stick.’

Nesta looked towards the door, where Cassian was leaning on the threshold. ‘Really?’

‘What? She needed to practice her magic!’

Shaking her head, Nesta placed the last books on a random shelf. ‘Eve, why don’t you go find your sister and get ready to leave? You should also consider taking a bath, there’s paint in your hair.’

‘Is it?’ she glanced at her dark hair, running a hand through it. ‘So what? No one’s gonna say anything. I still look pretty.’

‘No one said that you’re not pretty, but it kind of implies that we’re bad parents,’ said Cassian.

Ignoring him, Evie looked up at Nesta. ‘Where’s Rheya?’

‘Doing homework somewhere upstairs. When are you going to do yours?’

‘I’m paying her to do mine!’

‘Evie, I swear to—‘ she bolted before Nesta could even finish her sentence, making Cassian tip back his head and laugh. ‘It’s not funny, she always does this!’

‘I know, but it’s not like she’s not smart, and she’s paying Rheya for her work! At least we know she recognises the value of what she’s doing.’

‘No, Cass, it’s because Rheya demanded she be paid. The thought didn’t even cross Evie’s mind.’

‘Where does she even get the money from?’

‘You don’t want to know. Can you come help me for a second?’

Cassian was ready to hold a dozen books, as he often did for her, but didn’t expect for her to let go of the ladder and fall straight into his arms. He had quick instincts, and barely flinched.

Her arms circled his neck as she pressed a kiss to his lips; she missed him. She always missed him.

‘I guess you can say I made you fall for me again,’ he grinned, kissing her forehead.

‘Don’t, it wasn’t a pleasant experience. I was denying it with all my being.’

‘And look at you know, still madly in love with me. Who would’ve thought?’

She ran a hand through his hair, smiling softly. ‘You’re right, for once.’

‘I’m always right,’ he said, then kissed her again.

This one was more heated. He set her down and backed her against the shelves, his hand gripping her waist as she bit his lip. Nesta pulled him closer, so impossibly closer that their bodies seemed to be glued to each other, and judging from the low groan he’d just made, from how his grip on her tightened, he also wished they had no clothes on in that moment.

‘Remember,’ he panted, ‘when we could do this all day, everyday, with no fear of being seen?’

Nesta sighed, closing her eyes as Cassian kissed her neck, biting it hard enough that she moaned.

‘Don’t make me regret having kids,’ she gritted out.

‘Can our lives not revolve around our kids for just a couple of minutes? Because as soon as my hand slips inside your pants, you’re forbidden to mention their names for at least twenty minutes.’

‘Twenty? What if they—‘

The doors of her office shut and locked before she could finish that sentence. With a grin that made her see red, Cassian unbuttoned her pants and slipped his hand inside them, right past her underwear, earning a gasp from her.

‘You’re all mine now.’

———

Twenty minutes later, they were both laying on the floor, hardly breathing and more rugged than before. Cassian watched as Nesta ran a hand through her sweaty hair, staring at the ceiling with a dumb smile plastered on her flushed face. It warmed his heart.

He rolled on his side and traced the curve of her waist. ‘Tired already?’

‘I know, I’m out of shape.’

‘Then you should be glad to know that I talked to Az and Elain to take the girls for a trip to the lake the day after tomorrow. Two entire nights to ourselves. When did we last have that?’

‘Almost nine years ago,’ she said, grinning as she sat upright. ‘How did you convince them?’

‘I didn’t even have to, they were already going, and I asked them if the girls could tag along. Elain nearly burst into tears when I offered.’

‘Gods, I love you so much,’ she said, straddling him and leaning down to kiss him.

He wanted to complain that it wasn’t the best time to get him all riled up again, seeing that their kids could demand their attention any second now, but he didn’t want her to move at all. Not when she was naked, on top of him, and oh so exquisite.

‘I love you more,’ he whispered.

‘I saved you from the King, that means _I_ love you more.’

‘Do you have to turn everything into a competition?’

She smiled, caressing his cheek. ‘With you? Always.’

And to his utter dismay, she stood up and reached for her underwear, and then sweater.

‘We also need to talk.’

He groaned. ‘What did I do now?’

‘Surprisingly, this isn’t about you.’

‘I find that hard to believe,’ he said while putting on his underwear, followed by his pants. As much as Nesta would've liked to let her gaze linger for a bit and delight at the sight of his still sweaty body, they had more pressing issues to attend to.

"Your daughter."

"Which one?"

"Care to make a wild guess?"

He hummed as he put on his shirt, probably trying to remember if any of them did anything bad on his watch and wanted to prepare to lie on their behalf. Nesta knew that Cassian was no better than them and loved every opportunity to be as immature as possible if it meant making the girls happy -- gods knew how many stupid things they did on his watch and convinced him not to tell Nesta. And he didn't; he was very defensive when it came to their fun. But Cassian knew that Nesta knew, so words were meaningless. As long as he kept them alive and out of harm's way, Nesta was willing to turn a blind eye. She knew that Cassian needed this as much as the girls did.

"If this is about Evie flying solo across the Sidra yesterday, then I can't say anything except that a boy challenged her and you know how stubborn she is."

"This isn't... wait, she flew alone across the river? Cassian, that's dangerous, the winds are worse around the river!"

"I know, but Azriel was supervising them."

"And where were you?"

"At a council meeting. So you didn't know?"

Nesta raised an eyebrow.

"...are you mad?"

"Did she win?"

"Of course she did. She was marvellous."

"Then no, I'm not. But this is about Rheya, actually. She..."

Sighing, Nesta leaned on her desk, trying -- and failing -- to find the proper words to tell her mate that their daughter was being picked on again.

Sensing her sullen mood, Cassian's smile faded. "What is it?"

"Those stupid girls from school."

Swearing, Cassian sat on a nearby armchair, his mood already deflating. "What did they do now?"

"Promise you won't react badly."

"If you felt the need to say that, then it means I should react badly."

Nesta crossed the distance between them and sat on the armchair next to him.

"They keep picking on her. Today they threw water and paint on her wings. She... She didn't want Evie to see so she slipped out of the class and cleaned them by herself in the bathroom. She also told me that she poisoned their water bottles, but I know it still hurts her."

As she explained the whole situation, Nesta watched how Cassian's eyes were brimming with anger. Pure, raw anger, which he couldn't put into use, because

while those girls were horrible bullies, they were still children. He couldn't exactly hurt them back; at least not for a few good years.

"I knew this would happen again. Why didn't she tell me?"

"She feels bad, Cass. She's not like you or Evie."

"What does that even mean?"

"She doesn't like using violence to solve her issues, and she feels like this is what you or Evie would've done in her place. I think you should talk to her about it and make her understand that she doesn't need to be ashamed because of it."

That anger quickly dissipated into guilt. "Why would she feel like that? Of course there are other ways to solve conflicts, but hiding them won't help her. I hope you know I'm getting those girls kicked out of the school."

"I was kind of counting on that. She's already a shy kid, the last thing I want is for her to be terrified to go to school because of bullies."

Cassian sighed and rubbed his temples. "I'll talk to her tonight. I... Fuck, I really hoped that this wouldn't have to happen to them. Especially her."

"Why?"

"Because she's sensitive. So much more sensitive compared to Eve. I'm afraid she'll dwell too much on those things, and that it'll make her feel insecure in the long run."

Nesta nodded, knowing well enough how that felt. Cassian might be loud and brash, but he too had suffered at the hands of petty bullies, and it had taken its toll.

"Did she steal those poisons from Amren?"

"Yes, you know how much she likes them."

"Good girl. I know you were supposed to take her to buy shoes for tomorrow, but can I take her instead? So I can talk to her?"

"Of course. I'll take Evie with me to work, I need to drop some stuff off and then I'll take her to the park. Feyre will probably want to come as well."

"Then I'll see you tonight," he said, then kissed her farewell. "Wish me luck."

She smiled, kissing him one more time. "Already did. You'll need it."

* * *

"Hey darling, what are you doing upside down?"

Rheya looked up (or down?) as she was hanging off her bed, slightly swinging her arms.

"My brain hurts from homework. I need a break."

"Perfect! We can go get you some shoes for tomorrow."

Rheya uprighted herself and frowned. "Wasn't mom supposed to take me?"

"Does it matter who takes you?"

"Well, yes, she knows about girl shoes, what do you know about them?"

He laughed. "Let's not even open that subject. Come on, let's go!"

She sighed but went with him anyway.

The streets were rather quiet at this hour and not many stopped to say hello to them. Cassian noticed how every time someone asked her a question or attempted to get a bit too close to her, she'd mumble something and move closer to him. This wasn't unusual behaviour -- she did that sometimes, whenever she wasn't in the mood for interaction or simply wasn't comfortable with the situation she was in. Cassian didn't force her to talk to them, though; he just made an excuse and left, and the flood of relief he felt from his daughter made his chest tighten.

There was nothing wrong with her -- that was obvious. But the treatment from those girls at school only made things worse for her. She'd always kept to herself around new people and disliked strangers, but he couldn't let her think that it was a flaw.

"Dad?"

"Yes?"

"I was wondering if I could train with your group instead of Uncle Azriel's next week."

"Sure, but why? He says you're doing great."

She shrugged, tugging at her t-shirt with her free hand. "I don't want to compete with Evie all the time. It's like they all see us as a unit, not two different Fae. I talked to her about this and she also thinks it would be best if we trained separately."

Surprised was a mild description of how he felt in that moment; but also impressed. They were twins, yes, but they needed time apart as well, especially if it affected their progress.

"I see. I think that's a wise choice. But why did you choose me?"

She looked sheepishly at him. "I was kind of stuck with you."

Cassian gasped. "Stuck?"

"Well, I'm not supposed to tell you this, but Evie doesn't think you push the other kids hard enough and spend too much time playing war games. It bores her."

"My own child betrays me," he murmured, which made Rheya giggle. "Is this true? She actually thinks that?! That's not true at all!"

"It kind of is," she winced. "Sorry, dad."

"You too? Oh, just wait until next week and you'll be sorry for that."

"I'll pretend that you're right."

"You don't believe me?"

"I believe that you won't put your own daughter through difficult tasks just to prove a point. Plus, mom would be angry."

He grinned, ruffling her hair. "You're right. I still won't go easy on you. I can't be your dad and Commander at the same time -- it wouldn't be fair for others."

She nodded, eyes trained on the passing buildings. "I know that. I just hope you won't forget it. Last thing I want is special treatment."

"I never did that!"

"Remember our first week of training with you? Evie fell off that climbing wall and you almost had a heart attack. I think it hurt you more than it hurt her."

"But that's--"

"And when I fell during my first flying lesson and you rushed me straight to the healers, even though I said I was fine. All the kids laughed at me!"

"I'm not gonna apologise for being worried!"

She glared at him in a way that reminded him of Nesta. "You brought the whole family to see us train. It was embarrassing!"

Okay, maybe she was right, but he was too proud of them to not invite them all.

"They were very impressed, though. Look, shoes!"

He sighed in relief as they entered the shop, which was empty except for a few parents and their kids. The clerk was busy with a mother and her son, so they didn't even notice them come in.

"Okay, your dress is yellow, so what colourdo you want your shoes to be?"

Rheya scanned the rows of children shoes, already looking bored. "I don't know, yellow as well?"

"That was surprisingly easier. It usually takes longer with your mother."

"I know, which is why I don't go shopping with her."

They walked around for a bit, picking three different pairs of shoes that she liked, though they were hardly dress shoes. One was a pair of yellow running shoes, one had two big, rainbow-coloured bows and the other were so green that they reminded him of a lime.

"How about those?" she asked, pointing toanother pair of running shoes, only they were red.

"I like them, but I don't think the red goes with yellow."

"How about those?"

She ran to the section of flying shoes -- those were the best ones. Sewn by the best tailors in all of Prythian, some even used by the Peregryns and Seraphims during their training. They were made from the best leather, weighted almost nothing and protected the feet from the cold, water and slippery stones. Rheya already had two pairs, but one was in a pretty bad condition due to all the training and the other was "too colourful and it gave her away", even though she insisted on getting the bright red ones. He'd told her the same thing, but would she listen? Of course not. Gods forbid he could ever be right.

"As long as they're not red," he said dryly, and Rheya beamed.

She picked black ones, and Cassian sat down next to her on the couch with her legs on his lap as he put them on for her. She'd wiggle the foot in the air for a couple of seconds and then walk a few steps to see if they fit, then sat down again while he changed her shoes.

"So," he began, "Mom told me about what happened today."

He finished strapping the green shoes and then looked at her. She was tugging at her sleeves now, her smile turning into a firm line.

"I know you weren't going to tell me, but I don't want you to think that I'm mad. But we do need to talk."

"About how I should've told you, or stood up for myself?" she asked in a quiet voice.

Shit. This wasn't good.

"No. About how I gave you the false impression that my methods are the best methods in the world, when in reality there are a multitude of options that work better in different situations, but not everyone can see that, much less use them. I couldn't see that, but you did."

"I don't get what you're saying," she frowned.

Cassian sighed, setting her feet on the ground. "Darling, I'm sorry that I gave you the impression that violence is always the appropriate response to violence. I was obviously wrong. But I don't want you to think that I'm less proud of you for choosing differently, or for being the bigger person, because you always are, no matter who annoys you. You manage to stay calm and collected when others would just go rampant, and it's more impressive than you think. Not everyone can do that. I certainly can't."

"But Evie always tells me to beat up anyone who is mean to me," she replied.

"Because Evie is reckless, and that's not always a good thing, but she won't listen to me. There are other ways to prove that you're better than someone, and you found them."

"You mean the poisoning?"

He couldn't help but grin. "Yes. It was brilliant, I have to admit. Ethically wrong, of course, but so was them touching your wings without your consent. You know what an ordinary Illyrian would've done to them? Beat them into a pulp. Probably hurt themselves in the process as well. But you were more conniving than them, and paid them back. I'm very proud of you, Rheya."

That frown turned into an almost smile. "So you aren't disappointed that I didn't fight them, like Evie would've done?"

"Disappointed? Of course not! And stop comparing yourselves, you're two different Fae with two different brains and hearts. Listen to your own heart, darling, not to what anyone else is saying. You need to be your own person, and whoever that person is, I'll always be proud of her."

She scooted closer and hugged him tight. "Thanks, dad. I love you."

He kissed the top of her head, hugging her back. "I love you more. Are you fine after what happened today?"

She let go and nodded. "Yes. I wasn't happy, of course, but I didn't want to let it slide."

"Will you please tell me if something like this happens again? Words are something, but you know how wrong it is if someone touches you without your permission. This isn't something you should treat lightly."

"I will, I promise."

"Good. Now let's try these other shoes and get something to eat, I'm starving."

"Can we get cake? Mom wouldn't let me eat cake at lunch," she pouted, which was the surest way to convince him to do something.

"You bet we can. I'm dying for some strawberry cake."

* * *

They ended up buying the yellow running shoes and the black flying shoes, which weren't exactly a match for her dress, but neither of them cared. They were only shoes.

They ate too much cake at Roslyn's bakery, however she wasn't working that day. She and Mor were probably up to something, because they were being kind of sketchy lately. He'd find out what was going on eventually.

When they got home, neither Nesta nor Evie were anywhere to be found, so Cassian played board games with Rheya until she got pissed after losing four times in a row and stormed off to the kitchen for a snack. She might be his daughter, but he wouldn't lose just to boost her ego; they were strategy games. She should be able to master those in a few years, and losing to him only fuelled her determination more -- this is how she'd learned to read, after all. She simply couldn't accept that neither him nor Nesta had the energy to read her endless bedtime stories, so she'd learned how to read them herself.

Cassian smiled as he remembered opening their bedroom door way past midnight to check on them, and finding her under the sheets reading with a witchlight, or hidden in their tent. Evie was always passed out in her bed, not hearing Rheya softly muttering the words, practising as much as she could.

It warmed his heart to see how much love she harboured for knowledge.

That warmth disappeared as soon as he heard yelling from just outside the front door.

"-- I don't care, I want it! I'm old enough for one, and tomorrow's my birthday!"

Evie ran into the living room, peering over the sofa at him. Her dark hair was barely hanging in her ponytail, and her face was flushed and obviously angry.

"Dad, tell mom I'm old enough for a sword!"

Nesta appeared a few seconds later, looking both irritated and relieved to have passed the issue to Cassian. Evie thought that because he was a warrior, he couldn't possibly deny her the right to wield whatever weapon she wanted that week or day, which is why she always ended up running to him for back up.

He said "yes" only once and regretted it immensely. A seven years old with a broken arm was no fun.

So he just smiled at her and flipped her nose. "I'm afraid you aren't, honey. Give it a few more years, okay?"

Evie pulled back and huffed. "This isn't fair!"

"Nothing in life ever is," said Nesta as she set down her bag and took off her shoes.

"You're a bad parent!"

Nesta barely blinked at Evie's insult, even though Cassian wanted to say something.

"For not wanting you to get hurt? Again? Remember what happened last time?"

"It was a mistake!"

"Okay then, you can practice with a wooden sword until your uncle deems you're ready for a real sword, and then you can have one. Is that better?"

Evie crossed her arms. "No."

Nesta gave her a puzzled look. "Oh. Then you just have to get used to it."

Nesta sat on the couch and rolled her eyes at Cassian, knowing that Evie couldn't see her. She was still staring daggers at her mother, obviously pissed that she didn't get her way.

"Eve, you'll get a sword one day, don't worry. It's not such a big deal."

Now she moved that ferocious stare to him.

"You're supposed to back me up!"

"Not when it comes to dangerous things!"

"You're being mean!"

"And you're acting like a spoiled kid."

Evie raised one eyebrow. "And whose fault is that?"

And with that, she went straight to her room, ignoring his request to come back and talk about it.

"She's been like this all day," Nesta muttered, rubbing her eyes. "She even tricked me into going to the weapons shop to show me some new daggers that she liked. Then she accidentally broke an old vase at the Embassy while flying, even though she knows she's not supposed to fly indoors. And I'm the bad one for not giving her sharp objects. Is it bad that I'm really looking forward to those two child-free days?"

"I can hear you!" yelled Rheya from the kitchen, and Nesta groaned.

Cassian couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. What are you doing there?"

Rheya appeared from the kitchen with a plate in her hands. On it there was a sandwich; or something akin to one. Itwas mainly cheese, olives and tomatoes -- not much nutritional value. He opened up his mouth to ask her if she didn't want to eat something more... consistent, but she abandoned the plate on a table anyway and jumped on the couch.

"I was hungry, but I ate a bunch of olives while making that sandwich, so now I'm not hungry anymore. Is Evie fine?"

Nesta nodded while dragging Rheya in her arms. She was a tall kid, but Nesta still saw her as a baby that loved to cling to her parents.

"You know her, she just likes drama. She'll be fine. Did you guys buy shoes?"

"We did," he said. "Yellow running shoes."

Nesta sighed. "Can't say I expected anything else. At least they go with your dress."

"I'm extremely conscientious," she proudly acclaimed, and Cassian winked at her.

"Wow, that's an impressive word. Do you mind having a word with your sister as well? Keep her company so she won't burn our house down out of spite?"

"Why does it have to be me?"

"Because you do a better job at calming her down than us these days," Cassian said. "She won't lash out at you."

She made to leave, then stopped abruptly. "What's in it for me?"

Nesta scoffed. "Nothing. You're doing it out of the goodness of your heart."

"Who says I have such a thing?"

"Go or I won't let you join my training group," Cassian added.

"You're saying it like it's a reward," she muttered before leaving.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Nesta's head turned towards him, eyes filled with curiosity.

"So? How did it go?"

"Did what go?"

"Your talk with her!"

"Oh. Smoother than I thought. I made sure to tell her that I don't care about the way she deals with the Fae who bully her, as long as she does something about it, and that she shouldn't compare herself to me or her sister. Regarding that, she wants to switch to my group."

"I was about to ask about that. Why?"

"Apparently she talked with Evie and they came to the conclusion that people treat them like they're the same person, so they want to train separately. Evie doesn't like my method of training, that spiteful little witch, so she chose Azriel."

Nesta grinned as she lowered herself down on the rug, right next to him. "How pissed are you about that?"

Cassian scoffed. "Pissed? I'm not pissed at all. Why would I be pissed? This isn't a popularity contest."

"Everything's a contest to you. Don't tell me it didn't bother you."

"It didn't--" he swallowed his words at her pointed stare, then let out a shaky breath. "Okay, it did sting a little bit. She said I don't go hard enough of them!"

"Hard enough? Sometimes I wonder if she's aware that she's still a kid, not a full-grown warrior."

"I know! And I just know that Azriel's gonna gloat about it. I can already imagine the fight it'll ignite."

"Can't wait for that. Okay, I'm gonna change, and then we can leave. Can you make sure the girls get dressed?"

"Will do."

She made to stand up, but Cassian's arm went around her waist and pulled her right back in his lap. Her muffled yelp did all sorts of things to his heart, and it even fluttered when he moved her hair to the side and pressed a rather chaste kiss onto her neck.

"Are you sure you don't need a hand with getting dressed?"

He could almost see her smile. "I think I can manage."

His palm rested on her thigh, drawing his fingers higher and higher. She tensed, pushing herself further into him, making him grit his teeth. Gods, this woman, this devilishly, splendid woman, was his undoing.

"Then you won't mind if I watch."

Cassian did have a thing for watching Nesta. Be it in rather compromising situations or important social gatherings, there was something in the way she carried herself, with instinctual precision and elegance. When you watched her from afar, Nesta didn't seem all too welcoming or warm, which was what intrigued him at first; give him a challenge and he'll win the whole contest. No, she was all ice and manners, pride and cold calculation. But once you got close enough, once you tested her waters and learned which buttons to push, you could see blazing fires in her eyes. Her mask of ice would fall and she'd reveal herself in all her thrill-seeking, fierce and wild glory.

Discovering that part of her was probably one of his greatest achievements.

Discovering that she was his mate, so different on the outside and yet alike on the inside, was also one.

"Oh, then in that case, I might as well just draw a bath as well," she murmured, tracing the contours of his fingers. "I'd love some assistance."

His blood was boiling, and when she looked at him with those big, doe eyes, playing the oh-so-innocent card, Cassian's pants became impossibly tight. Would he ever tire of their games?

"And you can also join me," she whispered in his ear, then pulled at his shirt.

Nesta's laugh was probably heard in every room of their house as he stood up with her in his arms, almost running to their bedroom.


	15. Chapter 15

"Alright, what's this little secret of yours?" yelled Cassian, struggling to remain upright as Evie clung to his neck from behind, Rheya on one leg and Caiden on his other.

"Guys, give him a break, you've been attacking him for the past two hours," offered Feyre, watching the scene unfold with a mixture of amusement and sympathy.

"Nonsense," intervened Rhys, setting his glass down. "Keep going, kids, you're doing great! Evie, your choke hold is getting better and better, I love it!"

Evie's head whipped up, a feral smile on her face. "Thanks, Uncle Rhys! Do you wanna play with us?"

"Gods forbid, no, you all play dirty. I'm good here." When Feyre gave him a shady look, he raised his hands. "What? This way he'll tire them out and Caiden will fall asleep faster. I physically can't bring myself to read that stupid book about the talking dolls again."

"The one with the smartass protagonist that falls for the princess doll? The girls loved it," Nesta intervened.

Rhys levelled her a look. "It's creepy."

"It's endearing," said Feyre. "And I'd much rather read him love stories than Night Court lore. You want him to know about his murderous and corrupt predecessors?"

"Yes!" he exclaimed, as if glad that someone finally got his point. "So he can learn from their mistakes!"

"He can do that when he's older."

While the two of them bickered about what stories were more suitable for their son, Nesta turned her attention to the door, wondering when Amren was going to show up. She was already late, but then so were Mor and Roslyn, which was odd, since they were in their house.

Feyre, Rhys, Azriel, Cassian, her and the kids arrived here more than half an hour ago, expecting to be welcomed by those two, but found the house empty. They let themselves in and found a note in the living room that read "Will be back shortly, enjoy the food!" next to numerous trays of snacks.

That distracted them for about fifteen minutes.

Then the kids grew bored, and dragged them one by one to play games. Azriel made a show of shadows, but they were growing restless, so Cassian stepped for some rough-and-tumble play. Their booming laughs and cheers made the house seem alive.

Cassian pretended to suffocate while Evie laughed so hard that tears fell from her eyes. Rheya was still clinging to his leg, doing her best to make him trip, while Caiden yelled encouragements to Evie, his laugh so melodic that it swelled her heart.

"Don't let him get us, Evie, stop him!"

Oh, her sweet, loving nephew. How big he'd grown.

His dark hair was getting too long, brushing past his pointy ears, and he was missing one front tooth, but that didn't stop him from smiling as much as he could. Nesta didn't think that a child could be so exuberant, so affectionate and loving. The twins used to be like this only with them, never with unfamiliar people, but Caiden didn't seem to care. He loved people; loved to be surrounded by them, to talk to them and even hug them.

He was also extremely smart and intuitive. Nesta would play games with him when she'd babysit, and he managed to keep up with her. He liked to paint with his mother, and Feyre framed almost all of his artwork. Whenever he had a question, he went straight for Rhys, and they'd have lengthy talks about random things, usually followed by playing outside or pranking Feyre.

Caiden also loved his cousins, and mirrored their passions and interests. He looked up to Evie, who glorified fighting more than Cassian, and whenever she took flight, he'd attempt to do so as well. When he was old enough to learn how to fly, all of them tried to teach him -- well, those who had wings or could summon them. They all had different methods, but the poor boy was too scared to do it, so they decided to take a break and wait a bit more.

One day, when Caiden was playing with the twins in the park (and Cassian and Rhys were supposedly watching them), Evie and Rheya explained to him in the most basic, child-like way how to fly, then held his hands while he attempted to hover above the ground.

And it worked.

It was the pressure, Rhys had guessed. Caiden sensed that it was important to learn how to fly, since all of them were attempting to convince him to just take off, and it scared him off. The girls, however, didn't make a big deal out of it, and treated it as a game. And since Caiden liked to do whatever they were doing and trusted them, he had to try.

Rheya loved to read to him. Stories, her homework, news -- anything she could get her hands on. She showed him how to add and subtract numbers, which animals were safe to play with and which ones could bite your head off, and where all of the courts in Prythian were.

With Evie, he'd have tea parties. Rheya would join them as well, and they'd play until they'd fall asleep on the floor, and Nesta and Feyre found it so hilarious and endearing that they could barely bring themselves to move them; especially Caiden, whose hair always ended up in braids and wore a tiara. That was the best part.

"Weren't they supposed to be here by now? They said seven, didn't they?" asked Azriel, who was idly touching the hilt of Truth-Teller.

"They did," sighed Nesta. "This better be good, I'm tired as fuck and we're supposed to stay up past midnight for the girls' birthday."

"I imagine you're tired, since you reek of sex," he replied, a coy smile on his face. "You two really can't keep it in your pants."

Nesta smirked, drawing her knees to her chest. "Can't say I'm sorry."

"How do you even find time with the girls? They wear me out after a couple of hours."

"Well, when you're desperate..." she laughed when he cringed. "I'm excited to see how you handle them for two days."

"I told Elain to get some sleeping pills."

Before Nesta could say something, Evie rushed to her armchair. "Mom, look!"

She almost shoved a bottle of perfume in her face. By the smell of it, it belonged to Mor.

"I found it under that nightstand," she explained, pointing towards the one next to the window. "Look how pretty it is!"

It was; the glass was of deep purple, and it had the shape of a lion's head. Figures Mor would like it.

"It is. Smells like Mor as well."

"Can I take it?"

"Well, it's not really yours to take, darling."

"But it was under that nightstand. Maybe she doesn't like it anymore?" she asked, her face alight with hope.

"Don't you have like two perfume bottles? Stolen from me, I might add; what do you need one more for?"

Evie toyed with it. "This one smells better," she explained, and Nesta frowned. "And I like the lion. It's ferocious."

"You can't take it."

"But what if I ask aunt Mor?"

"Fine, but only after you ask her."

"Thanks, mom!" she said, then ran off.

"Don't you dare steal it!" she called after her.

"I won't!"

"She probably will!" Rheya yelled back.

Next to her, Azriel snickered.

"Just wait until you have kids," she spat.

"Which won't happen any time soon."

That wasn't a bad thing, since his and Elain's relatively carefree life allowed them more time to babysit; Nesta was fine with that.

When the front door opened, all of them expected to see Mor and Roslyn, but sighed when Amren and Elain made their way into the living room.

"The feeling's mutual," scowled Amren, who went straight for the pastries.

Elain barely said hello before heading to the dining room, where Cassian was playing with the kids. She heard their shrieks and squeals when they saw Elain, then beckoned her to join them, which she did, of course. Elain was obsessed with them.

"So, what's this all about? Are those two finally announcing their wedding date?" asked Amren.

"About damn time, it's been years," said Feyre.

"No, I don't think that's it," said Azriel. "I saw Mor yesterday and she seemed to be on the edge. I didn't ask any questions, though."

"Come to think of it, so was Roslyn," said Feyre. "I saw her two or three days ago, and she kept zoning out. When I asked her what's wrong, she spilled her coffee on the table."

"Do you think something bad happened?" Nesta asked.

"No, they're just bad at hiding secrets," said Rhys. "Should we raid their wine cellar? I know they have some pretty rare bottles down there. Some stolen from me."

Amren grinned. "Everyone has stolen bottles from you."

"Why do you sound so proud?"

"Because it's too easy to steal from you," answered Nesta.

A fight was about to start, but they stopped short when they heard steps in the foyer.

"Finally," sighed Feyre. "Elain, Cass, they're here!"

The kids ran in the living room, followed by Cass and Elain. Caiden went straight in Feyre's arms, and Rheya, exhausted from all the playing, sat on the couch next to Rhys. Evie sat on the rug, still playing with that perfume bottle.

"Are you two coming? We've been waiting for an hour already!" shouted Cassian.

"Then you can wait a bit more!" Mor shouted back.

Their shoes clicked against the wooden floors, and they were all ready to snap at them for making them wait so long, but were rendered speechless when they came into view.

No one was looking at them, but at what Roslyn was holding so snugly in her arms.

A... baby.

"Is..." Rhys began, then blinked in confusion.

Silence.

When the baby cooed, Evie looked up in confusion. "Whose baby is that?"

Mor, who looked like she was about to burst into laughing or crying, reached up and touched the baby's head.

"Ours. We adopted him. His name is Finian."


	16. Chapter 16

The silence seemed to stretch on forever. Roslyn, whose cheeks were damp from tears, managed to tear her eyes from the baby and look at them all.

"Why aren't you saying anything? Too much of a shock?"

Only Elain managed to nod.

Mor, who couldn't contain herself anymore, clasped her hands and peered at the baby.

"Before anyone asks, yes, this is why we've been acting so strange," she began. "We knew this day was approaching and we were both extremely anxious."

"When... Why didn't you tell us that you wanted a child?" asked Rhys, this time with more confidence. "When did this happen? _How_?"

"We obviously didn't give birth to him," chuckled Roslyn, who made her way to an empty armchair and gingerly sat down. Cassian and Elain, who were closest to her, looked at the baby with wide eyes.

"Holy shit," murmured Cassian. "He's Fae?"

"Of course he is! He was born in the Winter Court four months ago," explained Mor.

"I think it's time for a little back story," said Amren, who looked just as shocked as the rest of them. Feyre was covering her mouth with her hand, Rhys was whiter than a sheet of paper, Azriel kept frowning and Cassian was a mix of awe and annoyance. Probably because they didn't tell anyone.

Even the children gathered around Roslyn to sneak a glance at the baby.

Mor leaned on the table littered with leftovers, shaking her head. "It's kind of a long story."

"Just start talking," Nesta said.

Mor rolled her eyes, but went on. "I was visiting Viv one month ago. We were in this remote village, getting food for those who couldn't get to the capital due to the snowstorms. We stopped at a tavern for a drink, and there was this woman that Vivi knew, the owner of the tavern. Extremely old, even for us, and looked exhausted. She seemed relieved to see Vivi. Then she started talking about how she was too old to be going through this again, that she can't possibly care for a child when she has the tavern to worry about; that's when it occurred to me that Vivi knew what this was all about, and planned to go there all along. She seemed so calm and understanding, apologising for taking so long to get there. Apparently the woman was an old acquaintance of hers, and she had been writing Vivi for weeks, begging for her help, but due to the heavy snows, she couldn't get there sooner, so I winnowed us there.

The baby was the child of a barmaid that had worked there. She was a young girl from what I've been told; twenty or something. Got pregnant and attempted to terminate the pregnancy, but Moira, the owner of the tavern, talked her down, told her how beautiful it would be once the child would be born, that it was a miracle. She was reluctant, but kept the baby. One week after he was born, she left the town, leaving only a note in which she apologised. She said that she wasn't fit to be a mother and it wasn't what she wanted, so she left him there.

Vivi was supposed to take him home and find him a suitable family; you know it's never difficult with newborns. No baggage to deal with, as they say, which I find unfair. And when she took the baby from Moira and I saw him, my knees went weak. He was small, too small, and wouldn't stop crying, and he was obviously starving, 'cause where would they get enough fresh milk for a baby in that town? I was afraid to ask if he was dying or not, but Vivi opened the bag she had with her, pulled out a bottle with milk and began feeding him. He stopped crying immediately, and finally opened his small eyes.

On the whole way back in the carriage -- we didn't want to winnow, thought it was risky --I couldn't stop staring at him, and how he wriggled and tossed in Vivi's arms.Her arms went numb after a while and asked me to hold him for a bit, so I did. She fell asleep, and I held and rocked him for at least two hours, after which he finally fell asleep. When we got to the palace, Vivi took him back, but saw the way I looked at him, and asked me softly if I ever considered having a child with Roslyn. And that's when she put into words exactly what I was feeling, but couldn't put into words."

She took a shaky breath, wiping her eyes, though she was still smiling. No one dared to interrupt her.

"I told her that I didn't know, that we talked about having a child at some point, but we didn't know when; we can't even decide on a wedding date, for gods' sake," she chuckled. "And I was scared to ask her. I know I can be impulsive, and I didn't want to do something rash, especially something so big, because you can't back down from it. So I stayed there a few days more, and I spend most of that time with the baby, who didn't even have a name. Some nursemaids showed me how to feed him, how to swaddle him, how to catch his attention faster. He stopped crying whenever I held him, which only made _me_ cry. I winnowed back here the next day, went back with Roslyn, and showed him the baby."

"And I thought she was mad at first," intervened Ros, who was grinning at Mor. "I didn't take her seriously and asked whose baby this was. He was tiny, too tiny. But then she told me that he had been abandoned, and how he didn't have anyone, and if I could consider adopting him with her. And when I saw how she looked at him, like he was the most precious thing in the world, I knew this wasn't a joke."

"We decided on adopting him the next day and went back and forth for the next weeks," Mor went on. "It took time to prepare. We didn't even know which room to turn into a nursery, what things he'd need, if it was actually going to go according to our plans. When we weren't there, Vivi took care or him, helped us nurse him back to health. Since he was a subject of the Winter Court, both Vivi and Kallias helped us with the paperwork, and we decided that since he's going to grow up here, in the Night Court, he should be a proper citizen of this court as well, while also remaining one of the Winter Court. They both signed the papers, and if you two agree," she jutted her chin towards Feyre and Rhys, "he can call our home his home as well."

Nesta bit her tongue in an attempt not to tear up. Unfortunately, Rhys couldn't compose himself fast enough, and a few tears slipped down his cheeks.

"Of course," he managed to say, standing up. "Your child will always be a child of the Night Court. My gods, we have another nephew," he said incredulously, looking at Feyre with huge eyes. "These two actually adopted a baby."

"I can't take it anymore, let me see him," Feyre said, approaching Roslyn. In the meantime, Rhys took Mor in his arms and hugged her so tight, both of them crying tears of joy, that it made Nesta's chest swell.

"I'm so happy for you, cousin, you have no idea," she'd heard Rhys whisper to Mor while kissing her head. "You deserve this joy more than anyone I know."

Trying to give them some privacy, especially when Azriel went to congratulate her too, Nesta also made her way towards Roslyn, who was no longer holding the baby. It was in Feyre's arms, and he was holding him upright, while he squealed and cooed with joy, moving his arms up and down.

"Look at you, you're so beautiful!" Feyre cried, looking at the others as if she couldn't believe her eyes.

He was; he was an adorable, chubby baby with quite a lot of hair, which was all silver. His eyes were icy blue, and he already had two front teeth.

"Congratulations, Ros," she said, gripping her hand. "He's so big already."

"I know, I still can't believe it. It feels like yesterday I saw him for the first time."

"Enough, Feyre, I wanna hold him as well!" Cassian demanded, arms open and ready to hold him.

"Why Finian?" asked Amren, a small smile on her lips. "Who chose his name?"

"We both did. It's from this play that we saw on our first date, and we loved the character. He was a young king who dreamed of seeing all the worlds, and opened portals to travel between them. Plus, it sounds very melodic."

"And does that Finian have a happy ending?" Nesta asked.

"Oh, we sneaked out before the ending, but now I'm kind of glad that I did. I'll let this one play out in time."

Cassian was now holding Finian, bouncing him up and down, earning more excited squeals from him. She saw how his eyes lit whenever he held Finian close to his chest, most certainly remembering when the girls were this small. Evie got jealous after a while, and demanded for him to hold her as well, which offered Elain the perfect opportunity to snatch the baby and hold him.

"Hello, my darling Finian," her sister said, tracing the outlines of his face. Nesta stood behind her, touching one warm leg, and smiled.

"I forgot how small they are at first," she said. "Look at that precious smile. He looks so happy."

"He is," Elain replied. "He has a home and a family now."

* * *

‘They look so happy,’ Nesta whispered to Cassian as they watched Mor and Ros change the baby. He kept kicking his legs in the air, hitting Mor every now and then, which amused Ros immensely. Their nursery was quite big, equipped with toys and clothes that would last him at least a few years. Feyre was in the room with them, answering questions they had about the baby. They had drilled Nesta on it for the past hour, and when she almost fell asleep, they moved on to Feyre.

‘They do. I still can’t believe that they did it, though.’

‘Why not?’

‘I thought they enjoyed their lifestyle too much to actually have a baby right now.’

Nesta laughed in disbelief. ‘The same thing happened to us as well, smartass.’

‘Yes, but despite them, we didn’t exactly had it planned,’ he shrugged, then took a sip of his wine. ‘Not that I regret it. I guess I’ll need a little bit of time to get used to it.’

‘That’s what they all said when we announced that I’m pregnant,’ Nesta remembered fondly. ‘That was more shocking to them than this, trust me.’

‘Oh, I know. When word got out and other Fae in the army found out, they thought it was a prank. To them, I was probably the least likely to have children and actually enjoy fatherhood.’

‘They don’t know you,’ she said, leaning her head on his shoulder. ‘You’re an amazing dad, and the girls adore you. You’re extremely lenient with them, though, and always teach them stupid things, but I guess you can’t have it all.’

Cassian nudged her in the ribs, peering down at her. ‘Do I need to remind you of how many times the girls saw you pillage cemeteries for bones and threaten Fae?’

She was about to argue, but realised that he was right, so she just shrugged. ‘They’re not traumatised, so it’s fine.’

The girls were currently sitting at the dining table with Amren, who was trying to explain to them a certain elemental spell. Evie kept bouncing her legs under the table, which meant that her patience was running thin and wanted to try it already, but didn’t dare say a word. They both loved Amren, considered her their spooky aunt with cool objects, saw her almost daily for magic lessons, but didn’t want to cross her. Small as she was, they found her stricter and more intimidating than their teachers at school.

Amren, on the other hand, was more fond of the twins than she was letting on.

When they began practising with her, she’d been reluctant, claimed that she didn’t know anything about children, especially teaching them. She was used to teaching older Fae, Fae who could take harsh criticism, hexes and broken bones. Knowing that she had to change her method have her quite the headache.

She agreed to do it mostly for Nesta; they were good friends, after all. It took some time, but after a few lessons, Amren began to enjoy their interactions, and actually admitted it to Nesta as well — they were so, so curious. Full of wonder and potential. They asked question no one asked her before, questions so simple and basic that it took her by surprise; she was used to more complicated questions, not ones about the origins of the elements, how they came into existence and how they had the means to control them. Nesta guessed that having to explain such complicated phenomenas in a simple, easy to understand way, grounded her. And the kids were eager to learn, to absolve her knowledge like sponges, so Amren gave as much as she could. She was never mean towards them, never punished them except with homework, and actually played games so they could understand things better. Right now, she was showing them how the flames were quickly extinguished by taking the air around the flame away.

Rheya was perplexed by it all. She was standing so still, watching Amren’s slim fingers move with dexterity, that Nesta thought she was a statue. Her mouth hung open and didn’t dare breathe as Amren did it again, showing other tricks as well.

‘Can I try it, too?’

Amren nodded and Evie puffed.

‘What about me? I want to try it as well! I know I can do it already.’

‘Didn’t we have a talk about how annoying bragging is? It’s always better to just prove someone that you can do something instead of telling them.’

‘Right,’ muttered Evie, a bit confused. ‘Can I show you, then?’

‘After Rheya.’

Nesta left them to their antics and returned to the nursery. Her mate was holding Caiden on his shoulders because he kept insisting on touching the ceiling, while the others were still talking about the adoption. Nesta was still taken aback by that — she knew they were going to be amazing mothers, but it was so out of the blue that it took her some time to register it.

She moved closer to the crib, where the baby was staring at nothing in particular. He was beautiful, so beautiful and fragile, it almost brought tears to her eyes.

‘Are you remembering when yours were this small?’ Mor asked from behind her.

Nesta nodded. ‘I remember complaining that I couldn’t wait for them to grow up and not require around the clock care so I could get some time to at least shower, but now when I look back at it, I miss it. They used to need me for every little things, and now they’re more independent than I’d like.’

Mor laid a hand on her shoulder. ‘They still need you, Nes. You’re their mother. They’ll always need you.’

She faced Mor, smiling softly. ‘I know. It’s just that now they have opinions, strong ones as well, and I have to listen to them most of the time. I might go mad in a few years.’

Mor laughed, squeezing her shoulder.

‘I can’t wait to see that happen. Now come on, I need you to explain some things to me. Where do I get the…’

* * *

‘Should we wake them up?’ Nesta wondered, gently setting Evie down on her bed.

‘No, who knows when they’ll fall asleep again? We can just tell them happy birthday in the morning, they won’t be mad.’

Nesta wasn’t so sure about that. While she took off Evie’s shoes and dirty clothes, then changed her into clean ones, she tried hard not to give in to her whims and wake them both up to wish them a happy birthday.

She tucked Evie in, kissed her brow, then went to see Rheya. Cassian had just finished putting her in a clean sleeping t-shirt, then tucked her in.

Without even realising what she was doing, Nesta leaned on her mate and intertwined their fingers, gripping it tightly. He sneaked a glance at her.

‘Getting emotional?’

Nesta didn’t trust her voice, so she just nodded while staring at Rheya.

‘Nine,’ she whispered. ‘They’re already nine years old. How did this happen?’

Cassian let out a long breath, putting his arm on her shoulders. ‘Beats me. Gods, I miss it when they were toddlers. They’d always come wake us up in the morning with their blabbering and screaming. Remember when they’d just fall asleep between us?’

‘Are you trying to make me cry?’

‘No, of course not,’ he chuckled. ‘Come on, let’s go do something to take your mind off of it.’

They left their room as quietly as they could, then went upstairs. Nesta knew where they were headed — to the roof, where they both went when they needed to work on their anger, which was quite often.

The night air sent chills down her spine once they stepped outside, though Cassian didn’t even seem to notice. He went straight for the locked coffers where they kept some of the training equipment, then glanced at her.

‘What weapon do you prefer?’

‘Sword.’

He reached for the wooden ones, which is when Nesta clicked her tongue. ‘The real ones.’

That brought a devious smirk on his face. ‘Alright, then. I’ll go fetch them from the armoury.’

They kept the more dangerous weapons locked in the armoury, where they needed to put more defensive spells over the years since the girls learned how to pick a lock. Nesta didn’t really use weapons on a daily basis, but she still liked to spar with Cassian, especially when she was in a mood.

When he came back up and handed her her sword, she almost grinned. It had been a gift, just as his sword was.

It was a short sword, crafted from the best iron in Prythian, light enough for her to wield and strong enough to cut the thickest hide. It was Cassian’s second gift to her — the first time he got her a gift, it had been a bunch of books that she loved. He nailed it both times, nonetheless. On the hilt he engraved a line from a poem they both loved: _‘but we loved with a love that was more than love’,_ because it applied to them and their rocky relationship, especially at first. They both knew they were in love with each other, but it was more than that; they were made for one another, not to complete each other, but to compliment each other. When he gave her this sword, Nesta was still putting on a tough front, and lied that the tears in her eyes were from all the dust in the room.

His sword was a gift from her, forged a couple of years ago, when he gifted her a tome for dark magic. The best forgers from all the known world had made it, and Nesta had to bully them for a long time to convince them to make it.

It was exquisite in all ways. The blade itself was mixed with iron and crushed Siphon stones, which Nesta had to steal. This way, Cassian could push his own power onto the blade, making the blows even stronger. The handle was from the rock from the Illyrian Mountains, to remind him of home, and on the length of the blade, Nesta had the blacksmiths engrave the twins and her name in old Illyrian, as well as some ancient blessings for good luck in battles. When she presented it to him, Cassian almost cried. It was a memory she thoroughly treasured.

‘Do you want to talk about it before?’ he asked, rotating the sword in the air.

She shook her head, positioning her feet. ‘What’s there to talk about? I have a lot of pent up anger and frustration and this is the best way to get it out of my system.’

‘Fine. But I’m not going easy on you.’

Nesta smirked, gripping the hilt tighter. ‘This is why I love fighting with you.’

Cassian winked before lunging for her, sword raised and ready to strike.

The ringing of the swords made her teeth clench, and Nesta struggled to push back on Cassian, whose blow managed to make her sway a little. She threw herself forward, putting all of her weight in, and managed to escape his hold. It was the best moment to strike — so she did, as hard as she could.

Nesta never held back when she fought with Cassian. He met all of her blows with ease, though some got a bit too close to home, and it only excited him. Moving from the defensive to the offensive, Nesta was relentless; she hit and hit and hit, finding ways to untangle herself when Cassian got her into a knot, trying her hardest to disarm him.

That was almost impossible, of course. Nesta was skilled enough with a number of weapons, but she was a far cry from Cassian, who had a calling for this. It was in his blood, to know exactly when and where to move, how to hit and how to end a life. He could easily overpower her, but pretended that he couldn’t, just for her sake. As if they both didn’t know just how strong he was.

Nesta drew first blood. It was a small nick on his biceps, but they both saw the blood trickle down, soaking in his shirt. She almost dropped her sword and apologised, but his smile turned feral.

‘ _Now_ we’re talking.’

And once again, Nesta moved to the defensive.

Cassian moved like a snake. You could barely predict his moves, block them _and_ hit back. This usually happened when he decided to hold almost nothing back, and Nesta was overwhelmed. Her heart was pounding as the sword ran just past her cheek, cutting a few strands of her hair, which made her back away.

‘Don’t tell me you’re giving up, sweetheart,’ he taunted her.

Oh no, she wasn’t, but her hits were hardly effective. He blocked them all with ease, paying attention to her footwork, anticipating where she’d hit next. She gasped when he used his arm to push her into the wall, blocking her sword with his own so she wouldn’t be able to gut him from that position (because she _technically_ could).

‘Playing dirty? Really?’ she said between laboured breaths.

‘I’m surprised you didn’t do it first. You’re angry enough to do it.’

She wiped the sweat from her brow, looking up at her amused mate. ‘I thought I’d play fair for a change. Bad idea.’

‘Then we can call this off and…’

His gasp of surprise was like music to her ears.

Cassian backed away just as soon as Nesta’s knee connected with his most sensitive part of his body, looking almost murderous for a second. His sword clanked to the ground as his hands were covering his groin, muttering curse words, some of them directed towards her.

‘You damn witch,’ he gritted out. ‘This is worse than playing dirty, this is a direct threat to your favourite part of my body!’

Nesta sighed, dropping her sword to the ground. ‘Darling, you should stop sexualising yourself like that. I didn’t fall in love with your dick.’

He had the audacity to look up at her and grin. ‘That’s why you’re begging for it almost every night?’

She blinked once, twice, then her nostrils flared. ‘You’re fucked.’

Fighting hand-to-hand wasn’t her specialty, but she never backed down from a fight. Nesta got Cassian into a chokehold in less than a second, with him being distracted with the pain in his balls and all, and squeezed as hard as she could. A few seconds like this and she could knock him out properly, but the stupid bat was fast. He pulled her from her shoulders until she rolled right into his lap, where she was entrapped.

‘Really? You’re not gonna best me in a hand-to-hand combat,’ he laughed, trapping her legs under his before she could move. ‘Just yield.’

‘Not a fucking chance,’ she muttered, trying to move her arms, which were held securely by him.

‘We can keep this up until morning, but I’ll still beat you,’ he drawled, moving closer to her ear. ‘Just admit defeat, sweetheart. It won’t kill you.’

‘Probably, but it will kill my pride.’

Cassian scoffed. ‘Nesta, I’ve seen you in your worst moments, I don’t think your pride matters that much after all these years.’

Dumbfounded, Nesta looked up at him, forgetting about her struggle to get out of his hold. ‘What moments?’

‘I’m not going to start an argument about—‘

She elbowed him as hard as she could.

‘You viper,’ he mumbled, still holding her tightly. ‘Well, the worst were definitely those few months after you were Turned. Do you remember the tantrums, fights, throwing things, threatening to kill everyone in your close vicinity and then yourself, just out of spite?’

Memories of those dark times flashed before her eyes, but Nesta barely blinked. ‘Barely.’

Cassian rolled his eyes, not believing her lie for one second. ‘Then when things between us got serious, and you freaked out and tried to push me away.’

‘Okay, you were an insufferable bastard as well, you have to admit!’

‘I was nothing but kind to you!’

‘That’s not true! You were bullying me all the time!’

‘That’s because I was trying to get a reaction out of you!’

‘Wow, you sound just like that little boy that has a crush on Eve. He has an excuse at least, he’s eight.’

A shadow of a smile crossed his face. ‘Now you’re the mean one. And you’re no longer tense, which means I did a pretty good job of helping you. Aren’t I the perfect mate?’

To her utter astonishment, he was right. Her body was no longer tense and ready to fight, choosing to relax in his arms instead. It was an unconscious reaction, she knew; she associated him with safety, warmth, love. It was the mating bond that intensified these feelings, and being so close to him, being held so tight, did wonders to her.

‘You kind of are,’ she admitted, now leaning on him. ‘Thank you.’

‘You don’t need to thank me, love, you just have to admit that I won.’

‘Never.’

When she leaned more into him and brought her lips close to his mouth, Cassian’s hold weakened immediately. He gave in to her kiss, returning it with just as much love and gentleness, a token of their adoration for each other, not infatuation. He didn’t object when she pushed him down and straddled him, her hands winding up in his hair, hips position right above his groin.

‘I love you,’ she whispered, pressing a kiss just behind his ear. ‘How am I not sick of loving you so much?’

Cassian laughed as he gripped her ass. ‘No idea, but I hope you never will.’

‘Oh, I know I won’t.’

His smile faltered as she traced the outer membrane of his wing, using her nails to incite him. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it along with his eyes, delighting in her careful touches.

Nesta loved seeing him like this. Lost in pleasure, pleasure that she was causing, and it filled her heart with joy. Nothing compared to seeing her mate in the throes of passion, losing control, being nothing but a _feeling_ , a _sensation_ , leaving all rationality behind. This was one of the reasons why they were so good for each other — Cassian was acting on his emotions, and Nesta was too rational. Every now and then, they reminded each other that they needed to walk on the other side, too.

Oh, she would’ve loved to do this for hours, but she was thirsty for payback. Cassian didn’t suspect a thing when she reached for the dagger sheathed in his belt, took it out at an incredible speed, then pressed it against his throat.

His eyes flew open, looking down at the dagger with mild surprise. ‘I definitely didn’t see that coming, you damn demon.’

Nesta beamed. ‘That means you lose and I won!’

‘Cheating doesn’t count!’

‘Cheating?’ she asked increduously, still holding the knife. ‘Don’t blame me for using my assets, blame yourself for being so tempted.’

‘Now look who’s sexualising herself,’ he said, then pushed her hand away. ‘Fine, you win, I lose. But you’re going to regret that in the next couple of minutes.’

‘How—‘

She didn’t have time to finish her sentence. Cassian picked her up, ignoring her protests to put her down, and went straight downstairs.

* * *

‘Wake up, lazy butterflies, it’s your birthday!’

Cassian couldn’t help but laugh as Nesta went straight for their little heads and ruffled their hair until they woke up, all groggy and grumpy. They both bunked in Evie’s bed, snuggled under fluffy blankets and stuffed animals, not caring one bit that it was their ninth birthday.

‘Go away,’ mumbled Rheya, hiding her head under the pillow. ‘It’s early.’

‘It’s ten in the morning, it’s far from early,’ said Nesta, still not giving up. ‘Come on, I made you your favourite breakfast!’

Still no reaction. Evie turned on her other side, promptly ignoring them.

Nesta looked at him with annoyance. ‘Why are they not waking up?’

‘Try something else,’ he suggested. ‘Like this: girls, come open your presents, we got you pointy and sharp things!’

That got their attention pretty fast.

‘Gifts? What gifts?’

‘Did you get me a sword?’

‘Did you get me that pretty dagger I wanted?’

‘Did you get me the dolls from that shop?’

They didn’t really have time to finish all of their questions, because they bolted from their beds, successfully avoiding their attempt to hug and kiss them, and went straight downstairs, where they knew their gifts were awaiting. Little devils.

Their surprised gasps brought a smile to his face, though. Nesta and him barely got there in time to see them dive in their pile of presents, all beautifully wrapped; he didn’t know why they bothered, to be fair. They were going to shred them in a second.

Starstruck, Evie turned to them. ‘Are all of these for us?!’

‘Who else?’ he replied. ‘Red are yours, yellow are Rheya’s. And be careful with them, some are from your aunts and uncles!’

Not that they’d listen. They sat down on the rug as the girls began unwrapping them, brimming with excitement. Rheya jumped up and down as she found a set of porcelain dolls that she had been vying after for ages, and some new dresses in her favourite colours. Evie’s eyes went wide when she found a dagger in the pile — small, but still sharp.

‘I can actually have this?’ she asked them.

Nesta and Cassian exchanged a look. They had a long debate about this — was she old enough to have weapons of her own? Probably not. Was she skilled enough to wield them? Yes. Was she going to endanger herself or others with it? Well… that was the main issue.

‘On one condition,’ he said. ‘You can play with it in the house, as long as you don’t point it at someone or injure yourself. You can take it to your training, but you’re not taking it to school, because I’m not sure we can convince the headmistress to not expel you again. Alright?’

She nodded frantically, yelling ‘thank you, thank you!’ again and again, hugging them both at the same time.

‘You’re welcome, darling,’ he laughed. ‘Happy birthday.’

‘We love you so much,’ Nesta said, kissing her forehead.

Evie pulled back, giving them a toothy smile. ‘I love you both.’

Then she went back to unwrap the rest of her gifts, gasping each time she found something she liked — which resulted in a lot of gasping.

Toys, books, dolls, clothes, new portraits, all brought enormous smiles to their faces. It was endearing to watch them get so happy over such things; old books that Nesta knew they would like or knitted sweaters that Elain made them. Cassian got Rheya a new set of vials for her potions, since she loved brewing random things, and she looked so excited to try them out. Even the magic book from Amren got Evie excited.

‘Thank you,’ said Rheya, who was hugging Nesta. ‘They’re amazing!’

‘You’re welcome, my love. Did you like the dress from Mor?’

‘Yes, I’m going to wear it today,’ she declared before going to him for a hug. ‘I love you, dad.’

_Don’t start tearing up now,_ he reminded himself as he hugged her back.

‘I love you more, baby.’

Unwrapping their gifts and gaping at them lasted for another five minutes, after which their stomaches started growling and they remembered that Nesta mentioned something about food. They raced to the kitchen and started digging in their pancakes with ice-cream and chocolate syrup. Cassian knew that Nesta was dying to ask them if they didn’t want to eat something more consistent, some actual food, but he took her hand in his and led her to a chair.

‘Let them be,’ he whispered, watching how Evie gave up on using a fork and was now eating with her hands. ‘They’re children, they crave sugar more than air.’

‘They eat too much sugar. Their teeth will fall out in ten years.’

‘We’ll just grow some other teeth,’ Rheya intervened, her mouth covered with chocolate.

Cassian laughed. ‘It doesn’t work like that, honey.’

‘Yes, it does. I read a spell about it.’

To make her stop thinking about the huge amount of sugar the girls were eating, Cassian made Nesta breakfast, because he knew she forgot that she also needed some sustenance. They talked about trivial things, as they did each morning — what they were going to do that they, who forgot what for school, complaints about training and homework, new facts that Rheya had read the night before… things that he had grown so accustomed to, that he couldn’t imagine how life was before them. Rheya begged for another pancake, and before Nesta could protest, Cassian gave her one.

‘But—‘

He threw her a glance. ‘You can resist one day, Nes.’

‘I’m not sure I can.’

‘Think of their happiness!’

‘I can’t, I’m more concerned about their health.’

‘Be concerned about something else, then. Now, who wants to fly to their birthday party afterwards?’

‘Me, me, me!’

‘No, me, me!’

He laughed as Nesta dropped her head in her hands, already giving up.


	17. Chapter 17

_10 years old_

Cassian hated everything about the Hewn city. The groggy, dirty streets, the filthy beggars, the posh politicians that wanted to murder him, the conspiracies and schemes… You were never really safe in that place, and you always had to watch your back.

Which he forgot to do for a second when he was having a beer with some Illyrians from his troops, and some street urchin stole his money pouch without his knowledge. All he could see was a small child bolting for the dirty alleys, so he didn’t bother to get up and chase after them. It was just a child.

After that beer, he had been dragged into meeting after meeting, discussing defence strategies with the Council of the city, who was more stubborn than his mate. They liked to listen to his propositions, nod and act fascinated by them, then change their mind right before he was supposed to leave. He had been so, so close to decapitating them, it was almost hilarious. Explaining it to Rhys and Feyre would’ve been too much work, so he did what everyone else did in such situations — fantasied about their slow, horrible deaths.

He couldn’t wait to get home.

* * *

He heard small footsteps behind him; so small, that he almost missed them. Nevertheless, he kept on walking in the dark alleyway, the stench of dead rats, dogs and whatnot making him scrunch his nose.

It was almost morning; he'd have to gather his things from the court and leave in time to catch the girls before school. Nesta reassured him that she didn't mind dropping them off, but it was his turn today, and he quite enjoyed their early morning talks; even though Cassian was more or less worn out after those tedious hours spent talking about politics.

The steps didn't fade. No, they got nearer, and he had to appreciate that person's courage. Were they not afraid? Would they really dare to attack him or rob him?

When he turned around, he could see nothing. Only darkness.

Yet he knew -- he knew that they'd hidden behind that dumpster over there. He could hear a faint heartbeat.

Cassian kept on walking, listening intently.

Of course, the culprit kept on following him. Closer and closer, steps lighter than he thought it was possible, which meant only one thing. The hand that was gripping his dagger dropped, and his instinct to fight disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Cassian stopped again. As he had anticipated, the Fae hid behind another dumpster, barely breathing.

"You," he said to the darkness. "You're the kid who stole my money this morning, right?"

No answer, which he'd also predicted.

"It's okay, you can come out of there. I'm not going to hurt you."

Cassian waited a few seconds, which turned into a few minutes. He leaned against the dirty brick wall and tried to listen to what the kid was doing behind the dumpster he kept on watching intently.

"Were you planning on stealing more? Because I don't think it's going to work out. But if you need help, you can tell me."

Cassian took a few steps towards the place where the kid was hiding; and faltered as he listened.

That faint heartbeat turned into an erratic one, thumping so fast that it was a surprise it didn't cease beating altogether. And the hectic breathing, muffled by their hand, which was most certainly shaking. A wave of emotions washed over Cassian — panic, fear, despair. The kid really thought they were in danger.

It made his own heart drop in his stomach.

"My name is Cassian," he said as softly as he could, moving sideways, attempting to catch a glimpse of the kid. "I'm from Velaris. We don't hurt children there; or anyone, for that matter."

There — a little boy, huddled behind a few broken boxes, wearing dirty rags. As soon as his eyes met Cassian's they flared with fear, fear so pure and undiluted that it stunned him.

Fuck.

He showed his hands to the boy, so he'd know that he's unarmed, then slowly crouched down.

"It's okay, I promise. I won't hurt you."

Cassian quickly assessed him. Probably nine or ten, around the same age as his daughters. He had long, brown hair that was matted with dirt, and big, yellow eyes, almost like a cat's. Cassian could see that he was starving, and he had no shoes, his heels black with dirt. A few bruises and scratches littered his arms and legs, which were shaking due to the frigid cold.

It shattered his heart.

"Can you tell me your name?"

The child still looked around for an escape route, though he was trying to be subtle about it.

"You don't need to run, I promise I won't come near you. I just want to help you."

His eyes fell on him, and Cassian took a closer look at his visible despair. Did he really think he'd hurt him?

"Do you have parents?"

The boy slowly shook his head.

"Do you live on the streets?"

A small nod.

"Do you know who I am?"

Another small nod. The fact that he knew who Cassian was — who he was to the people from this cursed city, anyway — was probably the reason why he was so goddamn afraid. The Fae here hated and feared him; they spread stories and rumours. The poor child thought that he had no qualms regarding murdering little children, even though earlier that day he'd had the guts to rob him. Or was he just that desperate for money?

"Do you know that I also have two daughters? Twins, actually. They're probably around your age. Their names are Rheya and Evie, and I love them more than I can tell you."

That seemed to pique his interest. There was now doubt in his eyes; he was wondering if he was telling the truth.

"They just turned ten. Evie, she's the older one, and she loves fighting and dress up. We have tea parties at least three times a week. Rheya loves magic and reading, and flies better than I did at her age. They're both Illyrians, you see. She always asks me what I do on my missions and the Fae I meet, so I can't really leave this place without knowing your name, because otherwise she'd be really pissed at me."

The child's heartbeat became more regular, and his eyes stopped darting from left to right. Cassian didn't think he'd answer him, but there was no way in hell he was leaving this disgusting alley without making sure this child was safe. He wasn't leaving him here.

"Aedan," he responded, his voice shrill.

"Aedan," Cassian repeated with a smile. "It means little fire. I think it suits you."

Aedan took a shaky breath, then pushed away the box he was hiding behind.

"I'm sorry for stealing your money," he whispered, looking at his dirty feet. "I don't have them anymore. I'm sorry. I needed them."

Those words should never come out of a child's mouth. Cassian looked at him, at the state he was in, and felt his heart shattered.

This was how he was once, too. A lonely orphan, with no food and no shelter. Alone in a horrible place. No one to take care of him.

Those wounds would never heal.

"Do you need more? Are you hungry?"

He shook his head faster than before, then something akin to hope lit his eyes. "I... I need medicine."

Cassian frowned. "Medicine? Are you sick?"

"My sister is. She's been sick for two weeks. I'm afraid she'll die."

The whole world seemed to fall on his head. The smile he'd kept trained on his face vanquished.

"Where is she?"

Aedan opened his mouth, then closed it. There was conflict on his face; should he trust this stranger? Would he actually help him? Would he keep to his word?

"Aedan, listen to me. I swear on my life that I won't do you or your sister any harm. I just want to help you. Tell me where she is, so I can take her to a healer if she needs one. I know you don't know me, but I need you to trust me."

One second, then another and another. Aedan searched his face, trying to see if he was lying, but he knew he had no choice. He was desperate. He couldn't risk it.

So he pointed to the back of the alley, behind a couple of dumpsters that no one would even think of looking behind.

"She's there. She's asleep."

"Alright," he said, standing back up. "I'll go check on her, okay? Will you come with me, in case she wakes up?"

Aedan nodded, then stood up as well.

Seeing him upright, Cassian saw just how ragged he was — so skinny and dirty. How was he still apt to sneak around people, less alone steal?

Cassian tried his best not to run to where Aedan had pointed, so as not to startle him. He kept his pace light, making sure Aedan was right next to him, then let him go first when they neared the dumpsters.

"She's here," Aedan whispered. "She's sleeping."

When Cassian's eyes landed on that small, barely clothed little girl, he fought back a gasp.

She was much younger than Aedan. Three or four at most. She was covered with what seemed to be an old towel, and her face was flushed and sweaty, meaning that she was running a pretty bad fever. There was garbage all around them, and she was sleeping in a plain box. Aedan sat down next to her, his small hand wiping her brow.

"I needed the money to buy some herbs for her. I don't think they worked."

That was quite obvious. The seller probably scammed him, which only fuelled his anger, but there was no time for that.

He needed to get them out of here.

He crouched near the sleeping girl and touched her small forehead; she was burning up. She barely moved, and even her breathing was laboured.

"Aedan," he began, looking at the scared boy. "Your sister needs to see a healer as soon as possible, and I can take you to one, but she's all the way in Velaris. I swear that she'll take care of her, and you can stay by her side all throughout it. Alright?"

Cassian didn't know what he would have done if he said no. Snatch her and take her away? Take him by force as well? Would the boy ever forgive him for that, even though it was in their best interest?

But there was no way he was leaving this alley on his own. He was taking these kids with him, one way or another.

"Do you promise she'll be fine?"

"I promise, Aedan. You'll both be fine."

He looked at his sleeping sister again, then nodded. "Okay. If it means she'll be fine, then yes."

Swallowing his sigh of relief, he stood upright and made to pick up the girl, but Aedan raced him to it. He scooped her up carefully, muttering some comfort words to her when she tossed, her tiny arms latching to his dirty shirt.

"How will we get there?" Aedan asked.

Flying was his first option, but he couldn't possibly fly with these two. It would take too long and it was dangerous. So he pulled out a piece of paper he had in his trousers, a pen from his coat, and scribbled down a quick message. He squeezed it tight into his hands, a whisker of his magic seething into it, then it disappeared.

"Winnowing," he explained, taking off his coat. "Do you know what that is?"

"Yes."

Cassian placed his coat on his shoulders, trying not to say something when he flinched.

"My brother will get here in a second, and he'll take us all there. Okay?"

Aedan nodded, his eyes trained on his sister.

It took Azriel less than five seconds to make his appearance. Clad in all black, wings tucked in tight and looking rather bored — until he looked around and realised who was standing before him. Confusion clouded his vision, followed soon by alarm, especially when he noticed the little girl.

Cassian pulled him to the side, so the boy wouldn't hear him.

"I need to take them to a healer immediately," he whispered. "They're living in this alley and have no parents. The girl in his arms is sick and burning up, and the boy, Aedan, is quite jumpy, so be careful around him."

"Alright," Azriel nodded.

When he turned around, Aedan was staring at Azriel, his gloomy presence probably freaking him out.

"Aedan, this is Azriel. Ignore his grumpy face, he was born with it."

Azriel simply sighed, them moved closer to the boy. "Nice to meet you, Aedan. Are you ready to leave? Do you need to take something with you before we go?"

Aedan shook his head with resignation. "We don't have anything," was his reply.

The pang in his heart was getting stronger and stronger. Even Azriel was looking at him with a mix of compassion and grief; they both understood what it meant to have nothing, but they had been on their own. This little boy was also in charge of his sister, who was little more than a baby.

"We're going to get there in a blink of an eye. Just hold my head and close your eyes, okay?"

"Okay," he said, then closed his eyes and reached for Azriel's hand.

Cassian wanted to offer to hold the girl, but he had the feeling that he would refuse, so he quietly took Azriel's other hand and braced himself as they entered what he liked to call the shadow world.

It truly was over in less than a second — but Cassian was trained to be perceptive about his surroundings. He saw dark things, things that didn't exist in their world, but probably dwelled between worlds. They saw them as well and watched with hungry eyes, some trying to reach for them, some changing their shapes and sizes. None got to them before they made it to Velaris; and Aedan kept his eyes closed all the way, because when he opened them, they were already at the healers' building.

One spotted them right away and rushed to their side.

"Is everything alright?" the woman asked, then saw the two children. "Oh, dear gods," she mumbled. "Were did you find them? What happened?"

"Back of an alley," Cassian answered. "They have no home. The girl is his sister, and she's burning up. Can you see to her, please?"

The woman wasn't even looking at him, but nodded regardless. When she crouched before Aedan, her whole face shifted from bewildered to joyous and welcoming.

"Hello, my sweet. My name is Aya, I'm a healer. Cassian here told me that your baby sister is quite sick, so we're going to take care of her, alright?"

"Can I come with her?"

"Of course you can! But we have to be really fast, so we can find out what's wrong with her. We'll go to another room with more healers. Can I hold her, so I can check her temperature?"

Aedan looked very reluctant and almost took a step back, but Cassian tried to give him a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry, Aedan, Aya will take good care of her."

Seeing that he had no option, Aedan passed his sister to Aya, who quickly touched her forehead.

"She's got a pretty bad fever, so we'll go upstairs for a better consult. Aedan, will you come with me? If she wakes up I'm sure she'll want her brother next to her."

"Alright," he said, then glanced at Cassian. "Will you take us back after?"

"No," was his immediate response. "I... Don't worry about that, Aedan. Stay with your sister and I'll be here when you're all finished, okay?"

He nodded, then turned around and followed Aya.

"Who would abandon two children and let them live like that?"

Cassian didn't have an answer to Azriel's question, so he just shook his head.

"What are you going to do?"

Confused, Cassian turned towards his brother. "About?"

"About them, you idiot. You said you wouldn't take them back, but they can't exchange the streets from the Hewn city with the ones from Velaris. You'll need to see if you can find a foster family to care for them until they find a permanent home."

"Are there any left?"

Azriel pursued his lips, which was enough of an answer for him.

There had been conflicts up north, which left many children orphans. There were still families in Velaris that wanted children, so they had taken them in, but they reached their limit. Cassian knew there was no way anyone would want to care for two street children in such a bad condition.

"I'll figure it out," he muttered, then began pacing the hallway. "Maybe there are still some left. I'll talk to them."

"Alright. You go, ask around, and I'll stay here until you've returned."

Cassian nodded before leaving the building. He looked at the city before him with uncertainty, wondering if he'd be able to find someone for the children.

* * *

He didn't.

He didn't and he hated himself for it.

Hated himself so much that he went straight for the Embassy, where he knew he'd find his mate. He needed her help.

Eleri attempted to stop him, but one look at his face made him rethink his decision, so he backed away. Cassian heard the noises from inside the meeting room before opening the large, oak doors, their loud creaking reducing the noise to mere whispers.

Nesta's sharp eyes took him in. For a second she looked pissed to have been interrupted from what seemed to be an important conversation, but then her features softened.

"Will you please excuse me for a bit? I need to have a talk with the Commander. Fenrir, please continue."

Cassian held the door open for Nesta, and once she was outside and he closed it, he sighed loudly.

"What happened? You were supposed to come home before dawn."

"I know, but I..." he rubbed his eyes, not knowing how to explain what he did. "A child robbed me yesterday, and I ran into him a few hours ago, in a disgusting alley in the Hewn city. He was probably trying to rob me again."

And then he began telling her the entire story. How scared Aedan was, yet willing to sacrifice his own safety for the benefit of his sister. How he had no shelter or family. And when Cassian mentioned the sick toddler, her face went slack, horror filling her eyes.

"A toddler? He was taking care of her on his own?"

"Yes. And she's sick. He tried to rob me because he needed to buy her medicine, and they still scammed him."

Words couldn't describe how angry he was, though he would've loved nothing more than to punch those Fae right now, or do worse to them. Sweet tendrils of power seeped into his siphons, making them cast a red shadow around them, making Nesta wince.

"Cass, look at me. They're fine now. She's being taken care of, and we'll figure this out. I'll help you. We can find someone for them."

She pressed her palm against his cheek, making him look into her eyes.

"I'm here for you. It's going to be fine, I swear."

And he believed her; he trusted her with his life. Whenever Nesta promised something, she always delivered.

He was not on his own.


	18. Chapter 18

Nesta wasn’t quite sure what to expect when she walked in the room where those two poor kids were resting. Cassian was pacing and fidgeting more than usual, his frown so deep that he couldn’t even focus on her words, so she left him be, squeezing his hand every now and then to remind him of her presence.

When Aya informed them that they could go in, Nesta was barely breathing.

‘She’s fine now, should be up pretty soon, but the boy… He’s the one I’m worried about,’ she whispered.

‘Why? Is he also sick?’ Nesta asked.

Aya shook her head, taking off her gloves. ‘Physically? He’s fine, just a few scratches and bruises. Emotionally? He’s been mistreated, malnourished and stressed for so long that I’m surprised he’s still upright. I gave him food, and he ate all of it, but that won’t fix all of his problems. Have you found a foster family for them yet?’

‘No,’ answered Cassian, his voice raspy. ‘We’ll keep looking.’

Aya nodded, then left them alone.

Nesta’s eyes landed immediately on the small child on the bed. A beautiful baby girl with short, brown hair and still round cheeks. She was sucking on her thumb, dreaming peacefully. Next to her, seated in a tall chair, was just as equally beautiful boy, albeit more ragged. Those fast, yellow eyes took them in at once, but he remained quiet.

‘Hey, Aedan, how are you feeling?’

Cassian kneeled in front of the boy, his frown replaced by a warm, comforting smile.

‘Better,’ the boy whispered, still eyeing her with suspicion. ‘They said that Aurora’s going to be fine, she just has the flu.’

‘I’m really happy to hear that,’ he said, looking at the girl with a now real smile. ‘Aedan, this is my mate, Nesta. She wanted to come meet you and your sister.’

‘Hello, Aedan, it’s really nice to meet you,’ she said, a warm smile on her face. ‘Cassian told me about you and your sister, and I’m really sorry for what you had to go through, but I don’t want you to worry anymore. You two are going to be fine, I promise.’

‘Where will we go?’ he asked, and there was worry in his eyes, worry she recognised immediately. ‘Can we stay here?’

Nesta had to grip the bedrail in order to compose herself. These words — she asked the exact same words decades ago, when she was just around his age, with a deceased mother and an indebted father. Two little girls on her watch, a house that was no longer her own and no means to feed themselves.

Every night, right after Elain and Feyre fell asleep, she would cry herself hoarse, wondering what was going to happen to them. For a time she worried that her father would sell them — it was definitely a possibility. He would’ve fetched a pretty high price for three young girls. But then she realised that he didn’t even care about them, so the thought left her mind. She had tried to find work, but no one wanted to work with a child, especially a hot-tempered child like her, so she just gave up. Gave up and prayed that the roof of their miserable cottage would fall on their miserable heads.

Nesta looked at his mate and saw how distraught he looked. He didn’t have an answer, either; and he also understood the pain Aedan was going through. He had been on his own his entire childhood.

Nesta swallowed the knot in her throat and attempted to give Aedan a smile. ‘No, you can’t stay here, but that’s alright. Would you and your sister like to come and stay with us for a while?’

Cassian’s head whipped towards her at such speed that she was surprised it didn’t snap. Nevertheless, she didn’t pay him any attention.

‘I know my daughters will be excited to have someone to play with all the time. Did Cassian tell you about them?’

Aedan nodded, starting to look a bit more at ease. ‘He did. Evie and Rheya, right?’

‘Yes, and they seem to be around your age. How old are you?’

‘Ten. Both of us can come?’

‘Of course you can,’ she said, kneeling next to her still bewildered mate. ‘We wouldn’t just take one of you.’

Aedan kept tugging at his clean shirt, glancing nervously at them both. ‘Someone once offered to take Rory with them and take care of her, but I wouldn’t be allowed to come, so I said no. I can’t leave her alone.’

‘And you won’t,’ she reassured him, placing a hand atop his shaking one. ‘She’s your sister, of course you should stay with her. You two can have your own room, if you’d like, so you can always be by her side. How does that sound?’

Cassian remained quiet, thank the gods. She wasn’t sure what his reaction was going to be, but she didn’t care. She wasn’t going to let these two children on their own again.

‘You seem kind,’ Aedan whispered. ‘And you helped my sister,’ he said to Cassian. ’So yes, we’ll come if you’ll have us.’

Nesta had to bite her cheek hard enough to stop the tears from falling. Before either of them could say anything, a loud yawn reverberated across the room.

Aedan jumped on the bed at once, ready to check on a now wide-eyed girl who couldn’t stop staring around her.

‘Where are we?’ she asked, her yellow eyes bleary.

‘It’s okay, Rory, you’re fine now,’ Aedan comforted her. ‘A really kind healer took care of you, and now we have a place to stay.’

Aurora’s eyes fell on Cassian and Nesta, her small mouth forming an ‘o’. ‘Hello,’ she said, waving at them. ‘I’m Aulola.’

This time, Nesta couldn’t care less about the damn tears. She sat on the bed and smiled at Aurora, who wouldn’t stop staring at Cassian’s wings.

‘Hello, Aurora, my name is Nesta,’ she introduced herself, ‘and that oversized bat is my mate, Cassian. How are you feeling?’

Aurora shrugged, barely paying attention to her. ‘Aedan, I’m hungry.’

Aedan was about to say something, but Cassian was faster. ‘I got her, don’t worry. I’ll be right back.’

He left the room in search for food, leaving the three of them alone. Aedan got under the covers with her, answering all of her impatient questions about where they were, what was happening, who Nesta and Cassian were, and where did the get the clothes from. It astounded her, how much patience this little boy had. He kept his tone even and didn’t falter once, talking to her as if she was a grown up. Aurora, on the other hand, didn’t seem scared of the presence of someone she didn’t know. Nesta guessed it was because of their history of always being surrounded by strangers; you had to get used to the idea, even at such a young age.

‘We’ll stay with you?’ she finally addressed a question to Nesta, who was so in awe of their dynamic that she could barely find her voice.

‘Yes, if you’d like,’ she said. ‘My daughters will be thrilled. They’re the same age as your brother, and they love playing. Do you like playing as well?’

Aurora nodded eagerly. ‘Do you have toys?’

Aedan elbowed her. ‘Rory, that’s not nice.’

‘No, no, it’s okay, Aedan, don’t worry. Yes, we have lots of toys for you to play with. What toys do you want?’

‘Ummm….’ she began tugging at her blanket, trying to think hard. ‘I want a bunny and a bear… And a princess!’

Nesta chuckled. ‘I’m pretty sure we have those. Rheya, my daughter, loves animals, so she’ll be very excited to play with you.’

Cassian returned in a bit with a healer, both of them carrying trays of food for the children. She checked their temperature again, making sure they were fine, then let them alone.

* * *

‘Nesta, we didn’t really think this through,’ Cassian told her later, as they were waiting for the girls to come out of the school. ‘What if it’s a bad idea?’

‘Why would it be a bad idea? They need a temporary home until we find them a permanent one, and it’s not like there was a queue or anything. What was I supposed to do?’

Cassian ran a hand through his dishevelled hair, seeming at loss of words. ‘I… I’m not sure.’

‘Are you against it?’

‘What? No, of course I’m not. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about it for a second, but fostering two children is a lot more responsibility. We already have two children and can barely keep up with them. How are we going to do this?’

Nesta fell quiet. He had a point — their schedules were pretty erratic as it was. Nesta was always at the Embassy whenever she wasn’t home, and she thanked the lucky stars that Cassian was picking the girls from school almost every day and taking them to their training, where they were always supervised. The only free time she had was in the afternoon, and that was dedicated to doing homework or playing with them. Whenever she didn’t feel like doing that, she just took them out.

‘We’ll find a way. They need someone, Cass, and it broke my heart to see them like that, especially Aedan. That poor boy is traumatised, and he needs to be around children his own age as well.’

Cassian laughed dryly. ‘You think leaving them with our girls is a good idea? They’ll eat him alive.’

‘I’m not so sure about that. They’ll love to have a playing buddy around their age, and maybe they’ll help him come out of his shell and act like a child. No one should have so many responsibilities at such a young age.’

He nodded, intertwining their hands. ‘He reminded you of you and your sisters, right?’

She nodded, watching the kids run out into the schoolyard, towards the exit where the parents were waiting. ‘He did. I want to help him, Cass. I really do.’

‘So do I, my love,’ he said, leaning his forehead on hers. ‘If you’re really sure about this then yes, I think we can do it.’

Nesta looked at him with wide eyes. ‘Really?’

‘Really. We can handle two more kids for now.’

She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in a tight hug. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you, too, sweetheart.’

‘Ew, really? We just got here!’

They pulled apart to find their daughters glaring at them.

‘I missed you two, come here!’

They both jumped in Cassian’s arms, laughing as he pulled them up.

‘You were supposed to be home in the morning! Where were you?’ asked Evie, poking his cheek.

‘Damn, I was expecting this sort of reaction from your mom, but I can’t say I’m surprised. I had some unexpected business in the Hewn city.’

‘Was it horrible as always?’ Rheya asked, unbraiding her hair.

‘Of course. It’s the Hewn city.’

‘Girls, we wanted to talk to you about something,’ Nesta intervened. ‘Your father ran into a young boy this morning.’

She told them the entire story, and even though the girls never experienced hunger or homelessness, Nesta could clearly see the compassion in their eyes. Rheya looked sad, and Evie outraged that someone would leave two children on their own for such a long time. When she raised the question of them staying at their house for a while, the girls exchanged a glance.

‘I think it’s a good idea,’ Rheya told Evie. ‘We have someone else to play with at any hour of the day.’

‘And he can come to school with us,’ Evie added, growing fonder of the idea. ‘And we can have princess parties with Aurora! Oh, we can play dress up and I can give her my old dolls!’

Rheya gasped. ‘Mom, she can have my princess dresses as well, I can’t fit in them anymore!’

‘When are they coming? Are they coming today?’

‘Do you think they’ll want to play with us?’

‘Which room will be theirs?’

As they began to assault them with questions, Cassian cringed, trying hard not to burst into laughter. ‘I told you,’ he whispered, and Nesta laughed.

* * *

‘Wait, did I hear right? Are you going to take two children in?’

‘Evie, don’t push that, it’s—‘

A loud crashing noise interrupted Rhys mid-sentence, followed by a dramatic sigh.

‘It’s eight hundred years old. Nevermind.’

‘For the moment, yes. Cassian found them on the streets of the Hewn city. They’re both orphans and lived in the back of an alley.’

Nesta filled her sister in as fast as she could, watching her face grow more stupefied by the second.

‘Are they alright now?’

‘Well, as alright as they can be, I guess. I just wanted to drop the girls off here while Cassian and I go get their bedroom ready and buy them some clothes.’

Feyre nodded, still looking worried. ‘Take your time, Rhys and I were going to take Caiden to the zoo, so the girls will be fine. Do you need any help?’

Nesta shook her head. ‘Not for the moment. I’ll just see how things are when we get them all home. Do you mind dropping them off later today? You can meet the kids this way as well.’

‘Yes, of course. I’ll come by before dinner.’

‘Auntie Nes, hi!’

Caiden abandoned his cousins long enough to hug her, his wings fluttering in excitement.

‘My gods, will you stop getting this big? You’re going to crush me one day!’

She hugged her nephew back, kissing his dark, wavy hair. He was the splitting image of his father, with Feyre’s blue, icy eyes.

‘Training does that to you. Is it true what Rheya told me? You’re taking two children in?’ he asked, curiosity sparking in his eyes.

‘Yes, a boy and a girl. You can meet them tomorrow, if you’d like. We should let them get settled in first.’

He grinned before turning towards the living room, where the girls were playing. ‘See, I told you I can meet them! Liars!’

He ran off before any of them could say anything, Evie and Rheya’s yelling making them both wince.

‘That’s my cue to leave. Good luck today!’

‘Thank you, I guess I’ll need it,’ Feyre laughed.

* * *

They bought them clothes and what other necessities they needed in record time. By four in the afternoon, Cassian and Nesta were home, assembling their bedroom — well it used to be a guest bedroom, but they brought in another bed for Aurora and placed it next to the wall, while Aedan’s was next to the (securely locked) window.

‘This one or this one?’ Cassian asked, pointing towards the bedsheets with animals and the simple blue one.

‘Blue one. Maybe he doesn’t like animals.’

‘Who doesn’t like animals? I love animals,’ he frowned, fitting the bedsheets.

Nesta had just finished making Aurora’s bed — soft pink with fluffy, warm covers and lots of plushies and dolls aligned to greet her. They even brought in a trunk full of toys that the girls outgrew — cubes, puzzles, dolls, animals and balls. They had no idea what toys Aedan likes — or if he even liked toys to begin with — so they chose to decorate his side of the room with books. The room looked cozy enough, especially after Nesta brought in some plants as well, displaying them on the sunlit window.

‘Will they like it?’ she wondered, surveying the room with her hands on her hips.

‘No offence, Nes, but I think anything’s better than an alley.’

‘You’re not helping.’

Cassian sighed, finally finished with his bed. ‘Of course they will, idiot. It’s very welcoming. Can we go pick them up, now? Maybe they’ll think we changed our minds.’

‘Shit, you’re right, let’s go.’

The walk to the healers’s building wasn’t a long one. They passed the busy city centre, with Fae hurrying to get home or just out for a stroll, all the while checking off items from her mental list.

‘We got them toothbrushes, right? And socks? Did we remember socks?’

‘We did, stop being worried. I’m sure they won’t be mad if we forgot one or two things.’

‘I know, I just… I’m worried about how they’ll be with the girls. I mean, mostly Aedan, since he’s their age. Do you think they’ll get along?’

‘I’m not worried about that, to be fair. In case you haven’t noticed, both of them have the ability to get under people’s skins, so they should be fine. He’ll be attending tea parties in no time.’

She hoped for the same thing.

Once they got there, Aurora was up and walking, even though she swayed from side to side every now and then, which almost gave Nesta a heart attack. Aedan’s eyes lit as soon as they saw them, and he even smiled a little bit. Cassian noticed that as well, and she could just feel the joy radiating off of him.

‘Hey, buddy, sorry for being so late. Are you guys ready to go?’ he asked Aedan, who nodded immediately.

Cassian began telling them what they were going to do that day, while the healer informed Nesta of their health. She assured her that they were both physically fine, but needed to have a healthy diet to get back on track, which she already figured out. Once they told them they were ready to leave, Nesta couldn’t help but smile.

‘The girls are so excited to meet you two,’ she began telling them as they were heading for the door. ‘They already want to play with you. Don’t worry, you can always tell them no, but they’re not going to make it easy for you. They’re very persuasive.’

Aedan nodded, listening intently to everything Nesta was saying, carefully holding his sister’s hand at the same time. He wasn’t much of a talker, although he answered every time they asked him something, and he was so, so careful with his words, like he thought he was walking on thin ice, which pained her.

They weren’t too far away from home when Aurora stopped, looking ready to burst into tears.

‘I’m tired,’ she said, tugging on her brother’s sleeve. ‘I want to sleep.’

‘It’s okay, Rory, you can sleep in a bit,’ Aedan reassured her, and bent down to pick her up, but Nesta placed a hand on his shoulder.

‘Aedan, do you mind if I hold her until we get home?’

He seemed caught off guard, but nodded nonetheless. ‘O-Okay.’

Nesta opened her arms to Aurora, who looked up to her with tear-filled eyes. ‘Do you want up? I can sway you until you fall asleep.’

She didn’t need much convincing. Aurora raised her arms and let Nesta pick her up, then settled her head on her shoulder, arms around her neck. Nesta bit her lip as she ran her hand up and down the girl’s small back, swaying her slightly as they continued their walk home. Even Cassian kept glancing at her, looking at Aurora with a sort of affection and compassion.

They didn’t have a family, didn’t know what it meant to be loved, cared for, taken care of. Aedan seemed amazed that his sister fell asleep so fast in her arms, but he couldn’t possibly know that this was what a child her age needed — parents, or at least someone who knew what they were doing. She could see how tired and weary he was, but he still held on.

Nesta swore she was going to care for them as if they were her own.


	19. Chapter 19

Impulsive decisions were nothing sort of new to him. Try living for five hundred years with no obligations to anyone but yourself, surrounded by sometimes just as careless friends as him, fully enjoying the hedonistic lifestyle after dozens of years spent trying to prove yourself in the harshest conditions possible and not caring about consequences. If there were consequences to his actions (cue: that blasted building in the Summer Court, which was horrendous anyway), Cassian would just shrug and move on with his life. If it didn’t threaten his life, he couldn’t care less.

That changed along the years. Well, more exactly, when he met his counterpart.

Nesta grounded him. She made him think about his actions, not throw himself in the midst of a battle just for the sheer joy of it and realise that his actions also impacted others. Most of all, she reminded him that he was no longer on his own — well, not that he was before. He called his friends his family, but Nesta was something else. She was his home.

When the twins came, Cassian had to cut down on his impulsive decisions. No more surprise vacations, fighting anyone that looked at him in the wrong way or levelling rebel villages. It just didn’t sit well with him to kill Fae (traitors as they were) at breakfast and pick his daughters up from school at noon. He didn’t like it when those two worlds collided.

Not that he let go of himself; oh, no, far from it. His blood still called for wars and the frenzy of battles. Whenever he had to deal with criminals, he enjoyed it thoroughly, but nothing was better than the duels up in the North, where the Illyrian tribes resided. It was a pleasure to kick their asses into the dust, and even his brothers participated in those tournaments.

So it came as a complete and utter surprise to see Nesta make an impulsive decision. It wasn’t even something meaningless, like letting the girls skip school to spend the day together or going to a party after they fell asleep; no, it was a decision that would alter their lives irrevocably, and when it hit him, he didn’t know how he was supposed to react.

Of course it crossed his minds to take Aedan and Aurora into their home. That’s the first thing he thought about after he realised that there was no one in Velaris that would take them in, and there was no way in hell he was sending them back. But he knew it was a rash decision, and Nesta most certainly wouldn’t agree. It was just too risky.

So imagine his surprise when _she_ came up with this idea — how was he supposed to react? On one hand, he was truly happy and relieved; he liked Aedan, and Aurora, the sweet, sharp-eyed toddler, warmed his heart. He was certain that they would get along with the girls, and it comforted him to know that they were going to be truly cared for. On the other hand, what after?

What after a month, two months, three months?

What if they found a family willing to take them in after they got used to living in their household, to their routines and presence? What if they didn’t want to leave, and what if they felt abandoned afterwards? To welcome them into their family and offer them love then move them around was nothing short of cruel. It would confuse them.

Yet when he looked at Nesta holding Aurora with so much care and joy, as if remembering what it was like to hold such a small baby, he couldn’t help but forget all about that. Maybe it wasn’t even going to happen. Maybe they wouldn’t find a family, and they were going to live with them.

A part of him hoped that was going to be the ultimate outcome.

‘Here we are,’ he said as he opened the door, gesturing for Aedan to walk in first. ‘The girls aren’t home yet, but they’ll be back in time for dinner.’

Aedan furrowed his brows at the word ‘dinner’, but didn’t say anything. He walked quietly inside, eyes darting from side to side while tugging at his shirt nervously. Nesta pursued her lips when she passed him, but didn’t say anything.

‘Aedan, do you want to come see the house? I’ll show you your bedroom as well, and then you can help me give your sister a bath and get her into bed. I think she needs to sleep a few more hours.’

‘Okay,’ he said, still glancing around. ‘This house is really big.’

‘That’s a good thing, since you’ll be living here as well. I’ll go get started on dinner while you guys go get settled in,’ Cassian said, winking at Nesta. ‘Shout if you need me for anything.’

She winked back. ‘I’ll make sure I won’t. Come on, Aedan, I really hope you like how we arranged your room. We didn’t have much time to get everything, but we can always go shopping. Also…’

Cassian let Nesta take it from there — he knew children always felt safer around women, especially mothers. It was best she showed them around and reassured them of everything.

* * *

‘And this is your bedroom. It’s right next to the girls’s bedroom and mine and Cassian’s is at the end of the hall.’

At this point, Nesta didn’t even think that Aedan was listening to her anymore. He trailed after her in utter silence, peering inside the rooms with eyes as big as onions, looking sheepish each time Nesta told him that he could go in if he’d like. Once they got to what would be their room, he went in straight ahead, his mouth hanging open.

‘We’re going to sleep in this room?’ he asked, looking at the beds and the numerous toys. ‘Are those for Aurora?’

‘Yes. I figured you’re a bit too old for baby toys, so we brought in some books in case you like to read.’

Still not looking at her, Aedan said, ‘I can’t read.’

Nesta stopped, squinting her eyes. ‘No one taught you?’

He shook his head, touching the blanket on his bed. ‘No. I never met my father, and my mother died when Rory turned one. She was really sick.’

‘I’m… I’m so sorry, Aedan, that you had to go through that. No child should have to live such a harsh life.’

With as much care as she could muster, Nesta set Aurora on her bed, then sat on the edge of Aedan’s one. She patted the empty space next to her, and he sat down without a word.

‘How are you feeling?’

Aedan just shrugged, avoiding her gaze.

‘I’m alright.’

‘Are you scared?’

He glanced at her form the corner of his eyes, then said, ‘No. You didn’t give me any reasons to be.’

She smiled at him, fighting back the urge to move his hair away from his eyes. ‘Good, because you don’t have any reasons to be scared anymore. You’ll be fine from now, I promise. And if you’d like, after you get more settled in, I can teach you how to read.’

Finally, Aedan looked up at her. ‘Really?’

‘Really. Cassian would probably love the chance to teach you how to fight as well, but you can just ignore him. That’s what I do most of the time.’

To her surprise, Aedan almost smiled, and it warmed her heart.

‘Now do you want to help me wake Aurora up and give her a bath? She’ll sleep better once she’s clean and in warmer clothes.’

He nodded, standing up. ‘She’s not going to like it, though.’

* * *

To her dismay, Aedan had been right. Aurora just wasn’t in the mood for a bath.

She screamed and kicked until she was all red, her eyes squinted so hard that you could barely see them. Cassian came in twice to see what the hell was going on. Aedan tried his best to comfort her, speaking softly to her and patting her head, though it didn’t help much. Once the tub was less than half-full, Nesta prayed for mercy and eased her in the water while encouraging her.

‘Look, Rory, it’s fine, it’s warm and nice and I promise you’ll sleep so much better after this!’ she said in her baby-voice, which was seriously misused after all these years. ‘Do you want to play with the toys?’

She didn’t, though her screaming turned into a mild crying once she realised what was happening. She splashed around a couple of times, getting herself wet, then promptly stopped crying.

More shocked than anything, Aurora looked up at her. ‘Toys?’

Nesta grinned. They all gave in eventually.

* * *

She didn’t fight Nesta as she gently washed her hair, getting out weeks of grease and dirt. Not even when she cleansed her face; she was too caught up in the rubber ducks, throwing them around and then asking Aedan to pick them up.

‘Where’s the ducky?’ She asked, looking behind her. ‘Aeeeedan!’

Sighing, Aedan stood up for the tenth time, picked it up from the ground and returned it to her.

‘Do you always tire your brother out?’ Nesta asked her, chuckling.

‘Yes,’ she answered.

‘I think we should give him a break. So after we finish your bath, how about we let him take one as well, and we can go play with other toys?’

Aurora looked her at her, cocking her head to the side, as if thinking this over carefully. ‘You’ll play with me?’

‘Of course, I miss playing with dolls. It’s been a while.’

That seemed to do the trick. She nodded vigorously, continuing to throw the rubber ducks around.

When she took her out of the tub and wrapped her in a big towel, Nesta took out the plug for the water to drain.

‘Aedan, you should take a bath as well. I’ll take Aurora to the girls’ room to play there, so you can have your privacy. Is that fine with you?’

Aedan nodded. ‘Of course. Thank you.’

Still holding Aurora, who was beginning to get fussy, Nesta smiled at him. ‘No need to thank me, just take all the time you need. Only the girls use this bathroom and they’re not home right now, so no one will disturb you. If you do need any help, though, just give me a shout and I’ll be right over.’

He nodded again, so Nesta took that as her cue to leave.

Dressing Aurora was rather easy, especially since she thought it was a game. She played peek-a-boo with her, tickled her until she was laughing hysterically and imitated her ridiculous faces rather well.

‘Which one do you like?’ She asked her, holding up a pink sweater with flowers and a green one with animals.

‘That,’ she said, pointing towards the green one. ‘I can have it?’

Nesta faltered, trying to keep her smile intact. ‘Of course, it’s yours now. All these clothes are.’

Aurora was looking at the clothes laid out on her bed as if they were alien. Even at the toys, though she didn’t go for them yet.

‘Bed is for me?’

‘Yes, it’s all yours, and that one over there is for Aedan.’

‘And where do you sleep?’

Nesta put on her sweater, then a thick pair of wool socks. ‘I sleep in the other bedroom with Cassian. Do you remember him?’

‘Mhm. He has wings.’

Nesta grinned. ‘Yes, he does. He likes to fly.’

‘Will he play?’

‘I haven’t asked him, but I’m sure he’d love to. Let’s go ask him now, what do you say?’

Aurora nodded, sliding down from the bed and on the ground. ‘Let’s go!’

When she raised her hand and waited for Nesta to hold it, her heart swelled. Now that she was all clean, her hair slightly curling at the ends and wearing proper clothes, Nesta felt a pang. She was adorable and beautiful, so beautiful with those unusual, cat-like eyes that didn’t seem affected by the life she had lived so far. No, her brother made sure that she wouldn’t have to suffer, though she couldn’t imagine how.

Aurora sniffed, looking at her pants like they were the weirdest thing she had ever seen, but kept on walking.

When they got downstairs, the house smelled of cooked turkey and potatoes. Her mouth was watering by the time they got to the kitchen, and even Aurora was sniffing the air, looking expectantly around.

‘Oh, hi, how was the bath?’

‘We survived. Aedan’s taking now one, and Aurora wanted to ask you something.’

They both turned their attention towards her, Nesta trying to look encouraging and Cassian expectantly, crouching in front of her.

‘What is it, darling?’

She gave him a shy smile, though it was obvious that she was excited to ask him. ‘Do you wanna play with us?’

Cassian looked more than thrilled to be asked that question. ‘I’d love to, it’s been ages since I last had a playdate. Come on, let’s go!’

* * *

When Feyre returned with the girls, Cassian was still playing with Aurora, while Aedan was sitting quietly in an armchair, trying not to stand out too much. They both tried to ask him if he didn’t want to do something as well, but he said he was fine. He’d actually offered to help Nesta finish the food, or clean around, do anything useful, which was the last thing she wanted to hear from him.

‘Of course not, that’s not your job to do. I just want you to feel at home here.’

‘I don’t want to get in the way,’ he’d admitted. ‘I want to be of some use if we’re to stay here.’

Nesta sighed, then sat in the armchair next to his. ‘Darling, I can promise you you’re not. I would never expect you to do any work around, so don’t worry about something so silly. Your job is to be a child, to learn and to play or whatever boys your age do. I don’t have much expertise with boys, but my sister’s son, Caiden — he’s a bit younger than you —is very adventurous. He loves the outdoors, horses, flying. He also has an artistic streak and paints a lot.

Aedan listened intently to her every word. ‘Is he an Illyrian as well?’

‘Part Illyrian, like my daughters. Feyre and I are high Fae and Cassian and Rhys are Illyrians. Well, Rhys is only part Illyrian as well. So I guess that makes Caiden what… A quarter Illyrian?’

He smiled. ‘Yes.’

‘You can meet him one of these days, if you’d like. I’m sure you’ll get along just fine.’

He looked a bit anxious about that prospect, but nodded nonetheless. Cassian and Aurora, on the other hand, were playing with horses when she walked in. Cassian was telling her their names, and let her rename a few. Then they played with the cubes, building high towers and destroying them afterwards. She was watching in awe how Cassian taught her the animals when the front doorbell rang, announcing that Feyre and the twins were here.

‘Mooooom, where are they?’ she heard the girls yell. ‘We want to meet them!’

‘Guys, don’t be so loud, maybe they’re nervous!’ Feyre told them.

‘Why? We’re just kids,’ Evie observed.

Nesta got to the living room before Cassian and Aurora, and the girls looked at her with disappointment. Nesta tried not to squint her eyes at her.

‘Oh,’ Rheya mumbled. ‘They don’t want to meet us?’

‘They do, don’t worry. Aurora is playing with your dad, and Aedan was just in the kitchen.’ Then she lowered her voice and leaned in, ‘But be patient with him, he’s a very shy kid. I think he just needs a little bit of time.’

They nodded right before Cassian got there, hand in hand with Aurora. As soon as the girls saw her, they beamed.

‘Hello!’ said Evie, trying hard not to go in for a hug. ‘I’m Evie. It’s really nice to meet you.’

Aurora was looking at them with caution, still clinging to Cassian’s hand.

‘I’m Rheya. Your eyes are really beautiful.’

While she fiddled with her hair, Aurora smiled. ‘I like your wings.’

Both the girls looked back at their wings, and Evie, the all-time show off, flared them for her to see them better. ‘We can take you flying one day! You’re small enough for us to carry, right, daddy?’

‘Definitely not, but maybe one day!’

Evie still clapped her hand in excitement.

‘Where is your brother?’ Rheya asked, looking around. ‘We want to meet him as well.’

As if just realising that Aedan wasn’t there, Aurora looked frantically around. ‘Aedan?’ she called out, then one more time. ‘Did he leave?’

‘No, of course not,’ began Cassian, then all of their eyes darted towards the kitchen door. ‘Look, he’s there!’

Her pout disappeared as soon as she saw Aedan standing awkwardly in the threshold, not saying a word, barely looking at them. Nesta knew he just came there because his sister called out his name — he would’ve been fine standing there on his own, where no one would ask him anything.

The twins wouldn’t have any of it, though.

‘Hello, hi!’ Evie almost yelled, approaching him with enthusiasm. ‘I’m Evie, and this is my sister, Rheya!’

Rheya read the situation better than her sister and didn’t move closer, though she smiled at him. Evie extended her hand, and when Aedan furrowed his brows and finally looked at her with confusion, Evie cocked her head to the side.

‘What are you doing?’ she asked, clearly puzzled.

‘W-What do you mean?’

‘You’re supposed to shake it,’ she informed him, reaching out for his hand. ‘See? Like this!’

She took his hand in hers and swung it a couple of times, a big grin forming on Evie’s mouth. Aedan, the poor boy, looked half horrified, half embarrassed by what was going on.

‘And that’s our aunt, Feyre,’ she said, pointing to her sister, who was watching the whole scene with a mixture of love and sadness. ‘She’s really cool, she always plays with us and gives us gifts. You’ll love her.’

‘If Mor were here to hear that,’ Cassian mused, and Feyre shot him a dark look.

‘Not my fault I’m the favourite. Hi, Aedan, it’s really nice to meet you! And your sister as well,’ she said, kneeling in front of Aurora. ‘Hello, sweet girl. My name is Feyre.’

Aurora didn’t say anything, though she kept glancing at Feyre.

‘Would you like to see a trick?’

That piqued the girl’s interest.

‘What’s your favourite animal?’

‘I like rabbits,’ she said.

Out of nothing, Feyre conjured a small flame, which took the shape of a small, fluffy rabbit. Aurora’s eyes turned to saucers as Feyre made the bunny hop around a few times, circling her, though keeping its distance. The flames were too small to burn her, but it was always best to be cautious around small children — they were too inquisitive about things they didn’t fully understand.

Even Aedan was staring at the flames, completely ignoring Evie, who was asking him something. Rheya then went up to him, which got his attention.

‘Would you like to see some weapons?’

‘Yes,’ was his immediate response.

Rheya smiled. ‘Come with me.’

To her utter surprise, Aedan did follow her, glancing only once at Aurora, who was still enthralled by Feyre’s tricks with the elements.

‘Don’t play with any weapons!’ Nesta called out after them. ‘Rheya, I mean it! Don’t take anything out!’

‘I won’t, don’t worry!’ her daughter called back.

‘Wait for me!’

Evie chased after them on the stairs, and just like that, they were gone.

‘This wasn’t so bad,’ Nesta said to Cassian, who finally let go of Aurora’s hand. The girl didn’t even seem to notice; she was sitting on the floor with Feyre, who was playing a game with her. ‘They were really nice.’

‘They’re always nice.’

‘We both know they aren’t.’

‘Yeah, I know. Do you think we should watch them? What if they want to let him hold a weapon?’

Nesta just shook her head, not worried a bit. ‘They won’t. Evie might try, I wouldn’t put it past her, but Rheya definitely won’t. They’ll be fine.’

‘I can’t wait to see this one play out,’ he sighed, but there was excitement in his eyes, excitement that Nesta also shared.

‘Me either, but I have a good feeling about this.’

Cassian grinned, tracing his fingers along the back of her hand. ‘So do I.’


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!   
> I just wanted to let you know that even though I don't always answer to all of the comments, I read them all, and they brighten up my day. It's honestly the only reason why I make a point to write a little bit every day, so thank you from the bottom of my heart. It means the world to me.  
> Enjoy some more drama!

The first night was particularly difficult.

Not terrible, though — no, the girls managed to make Aedan say one or two things about himself, but it was obvious that they were displeased with their efforts. Aurora had been in a splendid mood following Feyre’s show of magic, and kept talking about that all throughout dinner, asking when she could see the magic animals again. Feyre excused herself before they could start eating and winnowed back home, explaining that Caiden had somehow gotten himself in some trouble with a friend. Aedan ate along with his sister, but barely looked up from his plate and only talked when someone asked him something. Every now and then he’d frown at the random shows of affection between them — Cassian kissing Nesta just to annoy the girls, Evie throwing food at Rheya, Rheya throwing food at Cassian, Cassian attempting to throw food at Nesta, but changing his mind after seeing her glare at him. When Evie jumped on her seat and declared that tomorrow she’d challenge another child from her training group, a girl called Izara, to a duel, Cassian would not stop beaming at her.

‘I already know you’re going to beat her,’ he said, pointing his fork at her. ‘And even if you don’t, that’s fine, you had the guts to challenge her. Sometimes bravery is all you need to keep yourself alive — take me for example.’

‘Or don’t,’ Nesta said between bites. ‘It’s easy to mistake bravery for stupidity.’

The girls laughed despite Cassian’s sour look. ‘Can you not be more obvious that you’re jealous you never beat me in a duel?’

Nesta couldn’t say out loud that it was far from true, that she won numerous ones against him, just not by playing fair.

‘But mom can wield weapons,’ Rheya observed. ‘How come you don’t fight more often?’

Nesta just shrugged. ‘I don’t have the inclination for it, I suppose.’

‘Aedan, do you know how to fight?’ Rheya asked, and all eyes fell on Aedan.

He looked up in surprise, his lower lip quivering for a second. ‘Um… No, but I can steal.’

Evie almost dropped her fork. ‘No fucking way.’

Her surprise turned into alarm as she realised what she’d just said — and looked sheepishly at Nesta, who already crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.

‘Really?’

‘Sorry, mom,’ she winced. ‘It slipped.’

Rheya couldn’t care less that her sister was in trouble, which was usually something she thoroughly enjoyed. ’How did you learn to steal?’

‘I-I just made sure people weren’t looking, and I grabbed whatever I could,’ Aedan explained. ‘I know it’s wrong.’

‘It is,’ Cassian said, setting down his knife and fork, ‘but no one blames you for it. You did what you had to do to survive. We get that.’

Aedan nodded, dropping his head again, which meant that the conversation was over for him.

‘Mooooore!’ Aurora yelled from beside her, pushing her now empty plate around. ‘Please?’

They all laughed, especially at her adorable face covered in gravy. Nesta put more food in her plate, but not too much; last thing she wanted was for her to be sick from overeating.

When it was time for bed, the two of them didn’t really know what to do. Would Aurora want to be rocked to sleep, or have someone stay with her? Should they leave them on their own?

The girls saw them worrying over it and fixed it for them: they asked them both to come to their room so Nesta could read them a story.

‘Come, you’ll love it!’ Rheya said.

‘Yes, it’s our favourite,’ Evie continued. ‘And mom’s an amazing storyteller. Not as dramatic as dad, but still decent.’

‘Thanks for that,’ Nesta coughed.

‘You’re welcome!’

So they gathered in the twins’ bedroom, Aedan and Aurora on one bed, Nesta and Rheya on the other, and Evie on her favourite huge bear, right under the window. When she realised that the book also had pictures, Aurora stood up and got on their bed, sitting right in Nesta’s lap so she could look at them properly. Once she began reading, the children fell quiet, and even Aedan seemed to listen intently to the story. Realising that he was sitting alone, Evie got up and sat down next to him, flashing him a toothy smile. That girl really knew how to win people over.

In less than an hour, they were all asleep.

Evie and Aedan in one bed, Aurora and Rheya in the other. The little girl was sucking on her thumb, looking so at peace. When she put a blanket over Evie and Aedan, she noticed the bruises on his wrists, but she knew she couldn’t bring herself to ask about them. Not yet.

‘Don’t tell me they’re asleep already,’ Cassian said when she entered their bedroom. ‘I don’t believe it. Did you drug them?’

Nesta chuckled, taking off her clothes. ‘I just read them a story. They fell asleep before the ending.’

‘Try a better story next time.’

He put down his book — one about the history of the land — once he saw Nesta undressing. ‘Please just stay like that for a couple of hours. I just want to look.’

Grinning, Nesta made her way towards their bathroom, where she turned on the shower. ‘I’d love nothing more than to play statue for you, but I’m so, so tired. My back hurts like a bitch and I’m more tired than I can tell you.’

Cassian didn’t say anything after that, and Nesta was too preoccupied with washing her hair to point out his unusual silence. When she reached for the bottle of oil to soften her hair and took a step back, she bumped into her also naked mate. She almost jumped, the bottle falling from her slippery hands.

‘You idiot!’

She turned around, glaring at Cassian, who was already wet from head to toe. He ran a hand through his hair, his devilishly grin making her heart beat faster.

‘Can’t say I didn’t enjoy startling you. Let me help you out.’

He picked up the bottle of oil and poured a generous amount of it in his hand, then gently massaged her scalp with it, all the while pressing soft kissed along her shoulders and back. Nesta’s eyes were shut tight, swaying slightly from the heat and pure bliss of being held and touched by Cassian; he knew exactly how to unknot her and make her relax. Sometimes it was by bickering, sometimes by fighting with weapons, shows of magic or even pranks, but this was her favourite way — physical affection.

Not sex; sex wasn’t on her mind, and she knew it wasn’t on his, either. This sort of intimacy was what she had yearned for long before she could put it into words. Years ago, when they first started dating, Nesta didn’t have her way with words like Cassian did, so her most efficient way of showing him that she cared for him were small, intimate touches. It was the only language she was fluent in, and he knew how to read it.

To her, intimacy was better than words of love. She wanted to hear those as well, of course, and said them in return, but this was her being completely and utterly vulnerable. Her walls down, her masks off, her soul bared. Before she used to be afraid that Cassian would back away once he saw her for who she really was, but he didn’t. He didn’t balk once.

It was his trust that allowed her to lower her walls.

‘You should’ve let me put them to bed, you already work too much.’

‘True, but I haven’t spent any time today with the girls, and I wanted to make sure that Aedan and Aurora were fine. They all fell asleep together, it’s adorable.’

She turned on her heels, her arms circling his neck. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Better now,’ he sighed, leaning his forehead against hers. ‘So much better.’

She picked up the bottle of shampoo and motioned for him to turn around. ‘You’re still worried.’

As she ran her fingers through his hair, untangling it and gently scraping his scalp with her nails, Cassian fell silent.

‘Aren’t you as well?’

Nesta shrugged, wiping away the water from her face with her arm. ‘Of course, but that’s not unusual for me. I’m always worried about something. When was the last time you were truly worried?’

‘I think when I let the girls alone for ten minutes and they set fire to the kitchen.’

‘Please don’t remind me, I don’t want to get angry as well.’

He laughed, bowing his head. After she pulled him under the shower and rinsed his hair, which was all splattered down to his face, Cassian sighed in his typical, dramatic fashion, which was still endearing.

‘I know we’re not doing anything bad, but I feel like we are. We’re giving them a temporary home, and they don’t know that, so what will happen when we find them a family? How do we tell them that they need to go, for their own good?’

That was also Nesta’s worry. It dawned on her like a bucket of cold water, and she had no idea how to stop thinking about it or fix it.

‘We don’t need to think about that now,’ she said, trying to convince herself more than him. ‘We have time.’

Cassian cupped her cheek, tilting her head back so she could look at him. ‘I know, my love, I know. I just don’t want them to hate us for it.’

‘You think they will?’

He pursued his lips. ‘I really hope not. That would suck.’

‘Can we talk about this some other time? It’ll do us no good, and until then, we’ll be too busy to even think about it.’

‘Since when have the roles reversed? I was usually the one avoiding serious discussions,’ he smirked, circling her waist with his arms, bringing her close to his body. ‘not that I’m complaining.’

‘I’d much rather talk about how much I miss spending time with just _you_.’

‘That can be arranged,’ he whispered, then leaned in for a searing kiss.

* * *

Aedan woke up screaming that night.

Cassian was the first to hear them. His arm flew instinctually over Nesta, but when he realised what was going on and who was screaming, he stood up. When she opened her eyes and looked at him in confusion, Cassian motioned for her to remain there.

‘It’s fine, I got it.’

When he got to his daughters’ bedroom, they were all wide awake. Evie was trying to talk to him and hold his hand, to coax him out of his nightmares, but Aedan was huddled in the corner of the bed, knees up and head bent, crying hysterically. On the other bed Rheya had her arms wrapped around Aurora, who was watching the whole scene with teary eyes, obviously scared.

As soon as the girls saw him, they exhaled in relief.

‘Dad, I don’t know what to do,’ began Evie, obviously distressed. ‘He just started screaming.’

‘It’s fine, darling, you did well. Rheya, why don’t you take Aurora to mom?’

Rheya nodded and left with the girl. Evie stayed there, staring at Aedan with pain in her eyes.

‘What did those Fae do to him?’ she whispered.

Cassian said nothing, because Evie shouldn’t know of the horrors of the Hewn city, although it was selfish of him not to tell her. She was old enough now; she had a right to know what was going on in their imperfect world, that not every place was like Velaris.

He knelt beside their bed and dared to gently hold Aedan’s ankle, to find a way to bring him back from his nightmare.

‘Aedan, it’s me, Cassian,’ he said. ‘Listen to me, you’re fine, nothing happened. It was just a nightmare. You’re fine and so is Aurora. You’re out of that place, you hear me? It’s over.’

He said that to him again and again, which was something he used to do with Nesta as well, back when the nightmares were haunting her every night — remind her that she was out of that dark place. She was free to begin anew, and she was not alone.

‘You’re not alone anymore, buddy, you have us. It’s over.’

It took some time, but slowly, his body stopped convulsing and the crying ceased. When he looked up at them, eyes bloodshot and cheeks damp, Cassian’s chest tightened. How much sorrow, how much pain could children endure? Where did they get the strength from? When he looked at Aedan, Cassian had no idea how he had managed to survive when he was his age.

‘I-I’m s-sorry,’ he said between hiccups, wiping his eyes. ‘I had a n-nightmare.’

‘Don’t apologise for that, it’s normal. Everyone has nightmares. Even Evie here has them sometimes.’

Evie nodded eagerly, desperately wanting to help somehow. ‘I even wet the bed once!’

Perhaps that wasn’t the best thing to say, and she realised that, because she winced with embarrassment. Cassian couldn’t help but smile.

‘Forget I said that.’

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

Aedan was staring at his knees, which he was no longer hugging close to his chest. His hair was a mess, and he didn’t pull back when Cassian pushed it away from his eyes to see him better.

‘You don’t have to, you know. But speaking from experience, it helps when you share your burdens with others. We’re not a solitary species. We need others.’

Finally, Aedan looked him in the eyes. ‘I was hidden under a table in a tavern, and they were looking for me,’ he whispered. ‘They knew I stole their money, so they wanted to hurt me. They said they already got Rory, and now they wanted me.’

‘But they didn’t,’ he tried to reassure him, not wanting to show how shaken he was by his confession. ‘And they never will. No one will touch you or your sister, Aedan, I promise you.’

He nodded, taking a deep breath. ‘Thank you… for everything.’

Cassian smiled, patting his arm. ‘You have no reason to thank me. And if you ever want to talk, you know you could always come to me or Nesta. Or a healer, if you’re more comfortable with that. Just don’t keep it all inside you, because it’s the worst thing you can do.’

‘Do they go away?’ he asked, a bit too hopeful. ‘The memories?’

Oh, how he wished they did. His smile turned bittersweet, and flashbacks of his own painful memories resurfaced for a second. ‘I wish they did, buddy, but they don’t. At least not completely. But in time you’ll get too caught up with your life and they’ll stop pulling you back and reminding you of the past. They’ll always serve as a reminder of how things used to be, but that doesn’t matter that they’ll ever be that way again. Things will get better.’

‘Like they did with mommy?’ Evie perked up, then turned towards Aedan to explain. ‘She was human before, but these wicked queens threw her and my aunt, Elain, in the Cauldron, and they were Turned. Mom had nightmares for months after that, but she got better.’

‘She did?’

‘Well, she still gets angry sometimes, but that’s just part of her personality,’ Cassian admitted, and Evie snickered. ‘Are you all right now?’

Aedan nodded, attempting a small smile. ‘I am.’

‘Do you want to go back to sleep?’

They both nodded, so Cassian took that as his cue to leave and see how Rheya and Aurora were.

‘Shout if you need anything,’ he said, leaving their door ajar.

He stood there for a second longer to make sure they were both fine, and was glad; he witnessed Evie giving Aedan a gentle push, which made him pay attention to her.

‘You scared the shit out of me. I thought someone stabbed you.’

There — a smile. It wasn’t a big one, but it was genuine, and it was the first time Cassian saw that on his troubled face. It made him look like a child, at long last.

‘I’m—‘

‘Don’t apologise,’ Evie interrupted him. ‘It’s not your fault. But if you’re sad or scared again, you can wake me up. We can play or fight so you’ll forget.’

‘I don’t know how to fight.’

‘I can teach you. It’s easy.’

‘Okay,’ he said, then laid down again. ‘Goodnight, Evie.’

His daughter settled down next to him, wings tucked under her. ‘Goodnight, Aedan. See you tomorrow.’

Back in his bedroom, Rheya and Aurora were fast asleep next to a concerned Nesta. As soon as she saw him enter the room she made to rise, but Aurora was half-sleeping on her, so she had to stay there.

‘What happened?’

He went around the bed and pulled Rheya’s legs on the bed — she always fell asleep with them half-off the bed — then tucked her in.

‘He had a nightmare, but he’s fine now. We talked a bit about it.’

‘What was it about?’

He sat down, untying his hair. ‘He was hiding in a tavern and these Fae were after him because he stole. And they said they got Aurora as well.’

Nesta looked at the sleeping child, who looked so peaceful and beautiful.

‘Poor boy,’ she said. ‘Nothing about what happened to them is fair.’

‘I know. Evie made him smile, though, so small steps. He even talked to her.’

‘I knew she’d make him talk. You can hardly say no to her.’

Cassian got in the bed and found Nesta’s hand under the covers, which he brought to his lips and kissed. ‘Just like I can hardly say no to you, sweetheart.’


	21. Chapter 21

_Two weeks later_

Things got slightly better over the next few days, and although it was still a struggle to accommodate everyone in their house, Nesta and Cassian really tried their best. They took a few weeks off from work, which hadn’t happened in years, and dedicated their time to the children, who outnumbered them. Still, they had found a rhythm, and while it wasn’t a stable one, it was better than nothing.

Evie and Rheya still went to school in the mornings, which gave Nesta and Cassian time to spend with Aedan and Aurora. Aedan was still a bit cautious around them, but they gained Aurora’s trust, so she could finally be a child around them; which meant mayhem.

One morning Nesta asked how the fuck did they survive two children, because while Aurora was only one, she was keeping them on their toes with her unending energy and desire to do things, even dangerous ones. They took turns playing with her, but it wasn’t easy, since she wanted to run around, to go out, to pet and touch everything she saw. Aedan was still quiet, but talked with the girls. They still didn’t understand why he couldn’t come to school with them, but as soon as they got home, they went outside in the backyard and played. One time Nesta actually heard him laugh when Rheya showed him a trick with her wings, and Evie showed him her favourite dagger and how to stab a dummy properly.

He still got nightmares, though. They took turns going in, because he usually woke up his sister and the twins, who were also worried. Two nights ago Rheya had been faster than her and went in their bedroom to comfort him; she’d succeeded in no time. Nesta felt bad about it, and talked to the girls about it in the morning — the last thing she wanted was to make them believe it was their responsibility, but they reassured her that they wanted to help him, because he was their friend.

_That_ had made Nesta’s day better.

Other than that, the rest of the family still hadn’t met them, which was driving them nuts. Only Feyre had, and now they were supposed to meet them tonight, at dinner, which they were hosting. Everyone knew they didn’t have time to cook, so they said they’ll bring the food. It was best to host it there, in case the children wanted to leave to their rooms — Nesta didn’t know how they’d react to strangers, even though they were family. It was better to be safe than sorry.

‘Do you need help with that?’ Aedan asked from the doorway, pointing to the dishes Nesta was washing.

‘No, I’m almost done, and what did I tell you? You don’t need to help me around the house, I have Cassian for that,’ she winked, and her heart jolted when Aedan smiled softly.

‘But then can I help set the table? Or I can look after Rory if you’re too—‘

‘Aedan,’ she said, and the boy stopped talking. ‘We got it. Cass wanted to take Rory to the park in a bit to see the pond with nixies, so you can join them if you want.’

He shook his head, pulling at his sleeve. ‘Is it okay if I don’t? Rheya said she’ll teach me to write my name today.’

Nesta’s hands faltered. ‘I thought we were supposed to do some writing together today.’

‘Oh, I-I can tell her—‘

‘I’m just joking, Aedan, of course it’s fine. She’ll probably make you write it until you do it perfectly, though.’

‘That’s fine, I don’t mind,’ he said. ‘When are they coming home?’

Nesta checked the time; a little over twelve. ‘Well, they finish in about half an hour, so how about we go pick them up from school? Do you want to go?’

It was the first time Nesta saw Aedan look so eager to do something. ‘Yes, I’ll go get my shoes,’ he said, then ran off to his room.

He was slowly coming out of his shell around them, but when he was with the twins, he did it with so much ease. It was clear that Aedan liked to spend time with them, and the girls did as well. They said that he was a very quick study, which Nesta also noticed when they sat down one morning together and she showed him the letters of the alphabet. And that he was very kind and considerate, and though neither she nor Cassian witnessed it so far, he was also funny. When they impersonated some characters in the backyard, Evie said that he made her laugh so hard that her stomach hurt.

Aurora always wanted to play with them as well. With dolls, fake swords, puppets, anything that she could get her hands on — and they all indulged her. She was finally starting to act like a normal, happy child, and it filled Nesta’s heart with so much joy.

‘Ready!’ he announced from the foyer.

He was dressed in a blue t-shirt and pants, but it was cloudy outside, so Nesta motioned for him to wait. She quickly went to their room, picked one of the jacket they got him from the wardrobe, then went back downstairs.

‘It’s getting too cold for only t-shirts,’ she said, helping him put it on. ‘You should’ve put on a sweater as well, you’ll get a cold.’

He didn’t say anything while she buttoned his jacket, but she could feel his gaze on her.

‘Nesta?’

‘Yes?’

‘Your family is coming over tonight, right?’

She nodded, looking at him. ‘You don’t want them to?’

‘No, no, of course not, but… What if they don’t like me?’

As she put on her own coat, Nesta couldn’t help but smile at him. ‘Wanna know a secret? They barely like me, but they still love me. That’s what family is all about. And I don’t see any reason why they won’t like you, I like you a lot.’

‘Because I don’t talk a lot,’ he explained.

‘You talk a lot with the girls, though.’

They went outside and Nesta closed the door behind them. The streets were fairly empty, seeing that everyone was probably at home or at work, and the children were all in school at this time. Aedan kept close to her, staring at random buildings or sights, still amazed by Velaris.

‘I like spending time with Rheya and Evie. They’re not like the kids from Hewn.’

‘Well, I should hope so, I tried my best to raise them right.’

‘I think you did,’ he said, looking up at her. ‘I wish we had a mother like you.’

Nesta would think about those words for the rest of the day, but in that moment, she couldn’t bring herself to say anything; she was utterly and completely speechless.

Aedan didn’t seem to think about it twice, because he moved on, now staring in awe at a passing Fae on a dark horse.

She wanted to; deep down, she knew that, and it felt right. She cared for these children more than she thought she would, and looked at them as if they were her own. At night she’d reminisce with Cassian about small milestones they both made with them — how he’d finally found the courage to ask for help when he needed it, and no longer depended only on himself. How Aurora would get excited to see Cassian in the morning, knowing that he’d take her flying around for a bit (and at low altitudes) and play until she fell asleep. How Aedan talked more and more, and how he wanted to know more about their family, so he had a talk with Cassian about it one day. How Aurora would ask Nesta to braid her hair, read her a story, make her one of those sweet sandwiches she liked — which were only butter croissants with strawberry jam.

And it was obvious to the both of them that the twins grew accustomed to their presence. Now they had a reason to do their homework; Aedan could stay with them and they’d explain it to him as well, so he could also learn. Every day they would ask when he could go to school as well, and Nesta knew that Aedan was growing curious about it, because he also looked at her expectantly. She told them that if he could catch up in the next couple of months, he could start the new school year with them.

One day they had a playdate, and Dhara and Madric came over. Aedan was a bit reluctant to meet them, but it took little time for him to warm up to them and play war games and hide and seek. He was also very skilled at those, as well.

Nesta wanted them to stay in their house, their family, forever. She didn’t want to let them go.

Cassian did, too. They didn’t say it out loud yet, but they knew. They were mates, after all.

* * *

The girls came out separately; Rheya with Madric, who waved Nesta hello before going his separate way, and Evie with her posse.

It was obvious that she was a popular girl, and a snarky one as well. From what Rheya told her, Evie wasn’t mean to other kids, but she liked to tease their teachers as much as she could and didn’t care at all if she got punished. This was the reason why there were days when Cassian or her were called in to inform them of their daughter’s behaviour.

Rheya didn’t particularly like the girls in Evie’s group; she said they were superficial, loud and only liked to gossip. Evie still tried to convince Rheya to join them for lunch at least, but she preferred to stick with her two friends, Madric and Dhara.

As soon as Aedan saw them, he took a few steps forward, his face morphing completely. His lips quirked and he raised his arm to wave at them; Rheya was the first one to notice, and she rat towards them with obvious excitement.

She was so excited that she pulled him into a hug, which came as a surprise for him, because it took almost two seconds until he hugged her back.

‘I didn’t think you’d come to pick us up!’ she said, taking a step back to look at them. ‘Where’s dad and Rory?’

‘In the park, he’s showing her the nixies,’ Nesta explained. ‘Why is your sister taking so long?’

They all looked in Evie’s direction; she was too busy chatting with her friends to notice them. Rheya sighed and called out her name, but she couldn’t hear them over the other kids.

‘I think she’s just ignoring us,’ she said, and Aedan huffed in amusement. ‘She does that sometimes.’

‘Eve!’ Nesta called out, hoping she’d notice her. ‘Evanora, come on!’

Hearing her full name seemed to do it. Her head turned in their direction and her mouth formed an ‘o’. as if she didn’t expect to see them there.

‘You said we could come home by ourselves!’ she said as soon as she got there. ‘Were you that bored without us?’

‘We were. You’re always there to break something,’ Nesta said.

Evie made a face at her, then turned her attention towards Aedan as they began their walk back. ‘You said you’d train with me today. Do you still want to?’

‘If you promise not to break my face.’

‘Even if I do, the healers here are really skilled, so they’ll fix it in no time. Once I broke my arm and they fixed it in less than an hour!’

‘You shouldn’t test out their limits, though, Eve,’ Rheya told her.

‘How else can we test ours, then?’

‘I’m sure there are other safe ways for you to do that,’ Rheya continued. ‘Like magic. Magic is safer.’

Nesta had half the mind to tell her that it definitely wasn’t, but she didn’t need to know everything about dark magic yet. She had time for that.

‘It’s not. Mom makes hexes all the time!’

They all turned around to glare at her, Evie daring her to deny it, Rheya expecting to be backed up, Aedan shocked to hear that she dabbled in the dark arts.

Nesta simply shrugged, tightening the cord of her coat. ‘I have an excuse. I work with Fae from courts like the Spring one.’

The twins nodded, knowing it was a valid excuse, while Aedan looked even more confused. ‘Is the Spring Court a bad place?’

‘It is. Their High Lord, Tamlin, fell in love with our aunt, Feyre, and kept her inside his palace,’ said Rheya.

‘Did he kidnap her?’

‘More or less,’ said Evie. ‘She killed a Fae when she was human so she had to pay for it. Tamlin made her leave my mom and our other aunt to go live in his boring mansion.’

They talked about that all the way home, walking a few feet in front of Nesta, and she couldn’t help but grin at the image they presented. A boy listening intently to two girls who wouldn’t stop talking, their wings fluttering in excitement every now and then. It was absolutely adorable.

* * *

‘Did you get it this time?’

‘No.’

‘Do you want me to go over it again? Which part don’t you understand?’

‘All of it,’ Evie gritted out, pushing the books away. ‘It’s boring and I hate it and I don’t want to understand anything anymore! It’s too difficult, this is torture! No, this is worse than torture, this is damnation!’

Nesta sighed, dropping her pen. ‘It’s just math. I think you’re exaggerating a bit.’

‘Am I?! Why do I need to know all of this stuff?’

‘Because it’s _basic_ math, and everyone should know it.’

Evie raised one brow and looked at her incredulously. ‘Really? Can dad solve these?’

‘He can, and he can solve much more difficult math questions than this. Believe me, I was just as shocked as you are when I found out.’

Evie groaned, dropping her head on the table. ‘This is futile. I shall never conquer this useless subject.’

‘At least your vocabulary’s rich,’ Nesta chuckled. ‘Look, I know you hate it and it’s boring, but you need to understand this if you want to pass your exams. Would you rather have Rheya explain it to you?’

She shook her head, toying with a pen. ‘No, she’s a know-it-all and gloats when I don’t get something right. I don’t like studying with her.’

Nesta was all too aware of that. They were both smart, but Rheya had an inclination towards academics, whilst Evie liked to learn on her feet. Whenever Evie asked Rheya to explain something to her, it usually ended in screaming and fights.

It didn’t seem to be the case with Aedan — right now they were in the girls’ bedroom, and she was showing him how to write his own name. Evie and Nesta were in Nesta’s office, and she was trying her hardest to show her how to solve her math homework, but it proved to be more difficult than she thought. Plus, Nesta also hated math.

‘Okay, we’ll go over it one more time and then…’

‘We’re home!’ she heard Cassian yell from the foyer.

It distracted Nesta long enough for Evie to slip from beside her and bolt for the door.

‘Evie, come back, we’re not finished!’

Too late. The girl ran as fast as she could, knowing that her dad would save her from the horrors of her least favourite subject.

Sighing, Nesta closed all of the books and went to the living room to see what they were doing. Aurora was in Cassian’s arms, giggling and telling Evie of what she’d seen; her brown hair was still plated back, though messier than it had been in the morning. He set her down on the couch and Evie sat on the rug, listening to what she was telling.

‘Let me guess, she said I was torturing her with math?’

Cassian grinned. ‘And that you’re merciless.’

‘She needs to finish it.’

‘It’s fine, I’ll do it with her later.’

Now it was Nesta’s time to look suspicious. ‘Will you?’

‘Yes, I promise!’

‘Fine, but if you don’t, you’re sleeping alone.’

Judging by his expression, Nesta now had no doubt that her homework would be done by tomorrow morning.

‘How was the park?’

They went to the kitchen, where they were out of earshot, and Nesta began taking out the plates and cutlery for the dinner.

‘It was really fun. She’s never seen ducks before and got really scared of them, but after we fed them she wanted to take one home. And then the nixies came, and she absolutely loved them. One of them gave her a pearl bracelet.’

‘I guess they were the friendly sort?’

Cassian nodded. ‘They didn’t even try to pull her hair. Maybe they were in a good mood.’

Some nixies were a bit mischievous; some stole, bit or pulled, but they never really harmed anyone. You just had to be careful around them, and if you brought them trinkets, they would love you for eternity.

‘How was Aedan?’

‘He was fine, we talked a bit more today. He’s upstairs with Rheya now, she’s teaching him how to write his name.’

‘Weren’t you supposed to teach him how to write and read?’

‘I was, but you know Rheya. She wanted to teach him herself. I guess Evie’s right, she’s a know-it-all sometimes,’ she laughed, and Cassian joined her. ‘Did you talk to Rhys?’

‘I did, but I still don’t think it’s a good idea for us to go there. It might be a bit too soon.’

‘Too soon? Cass, I can’t believe I’m the one saying this, but the girls really want to see the camps and the Illyrians. They’ve been begging us to go since they were what, four?’

‘Which means that they have high expectations of those places and its people, but we both know that the reality is otherwise. And do we really want to take them there during the celebrations? _All_ of them?’

All of them, because they wouldn’t let Aedan and Aurora behind, of course. Now that she was thinking about it, maybe it was still too soon; but Nesta seriously doubted that anything bad would happen during such a revered celebration.

It happened annually — Illyrians fought and duelled in the name of their warrior gods. There were cases when some would fight to the death, but seeing that Cassian, Azriel and their High Lord would join them this year, it was unlikely that they would let anything like that happen. They were all going this year, along with Feyre and Elain. Mor and Ros weren’t too eager to participate, so they were skipping it; it was understandable, since Finian was only two years old.

‘Cassian, we’ve been postponing it for too long,’ Nesta pursued her lips. ‘They’ll be so disappointed if we tell them no again this year.’

He took a seat at the kitchen table, rubbing his temples. ‘You know I want to take them there as much as you want, I’m just trying to be cautious. Especially now that we have Aedan and Aurora with us.’

It was hard not to grin at his reaction. Cassian, her wild, ruthless mate, being more concerned and cautious than she usually was. Parenthood really spared no one.

She made her way towards him and sat on his lap, cupping his stubble-covered cheek.

‘They’ll be fine, Cass. No one will dare to touch them. I’ll put hex bags in their pockets in case someone tries to.’

His lips quirked upwards as he snaked his arms around her waist, dropping his head on her chest. ‘I love it when you’re cruel. It turns me on.’

‘Who knew you’d be into women with an attitude? Back then I could’ve sworn you were the type that liked the doe-eyed, stuttering girls who fainted when you said anything even remotely sexual.’

Cassian raised his head, their eyes on the same level. ‘Then I’m sorry to inform you, but you’re shit at reading people. I was always into women who threatened to disembowel me if I said anything sexual,’ he said, then brought his mouth close to her ear, ‘but were more than eager to participate in said activities.’

Nesta pushed him away. ‘You heathen, I was the definition of a proper young woman.’

‘On paper, perhaps, but not even the gods could keep up with you if they knew you, Nesta,’ he laughed. ‘Thankfully, I’m in incredible shape and have no trouble with that.’

‘Give it twenty more ears,’ she said sweetly before kissing him quickly. Before she had the chance to stand up and go check on the kids, Cassian pulled her back down, sealing her mouth with a burning kiss.

She could’ve lounged there, in his arms, all day long. He traced her bare arms up and down, then her waist, the curve of her breasts and thighs. He knew her body by heart, would know it blind or deaf. The sound he made when she pressed herself more against him, right where she wished her hands or mouth could be, stirred something primal in her, something that ached to hear more, _do_ more.

‘Do you think we can get away for twenty minutes?’ she whispered against his lips, bringing her hands up his shirt.

‘That’s wishful thinking, sweetheart,’ he chuckled, gripping her hips. ‘Should we try our luck, though?’

She was more than ready to say yes and go anywhere where they could be alone, but a loud call interrupted their fun.

‘Mooooom, Rory looks like she’s about to cry, help me out!’

They both groaned in exasperation.

‘Go, I need a minute,’ Cassian said, pointing to his obvious arousal. ‘Should we reschedule for tonight?’

Nesta had enough time to kiss him again before heading for the living room. ‘I hope you don’t have plans to wake up early,’ she winked, then went to check on the children.

Evie was right, Rory was about to burst into tears. She was sniffling, face splotchy with red as tears fell down her cheeks. She was in Evie’s arms, who was struggling to hold her, and bounced her up and down in an attempt to soothe her. As soon as she saw Nesta, relief washed over her face.

‘I’m not ready for such responsibilities,’ she said, the panic obvious in her voice.

‘What happened?’

As soon Rory saw her, she held her arms out towards her, ready to be held.

‘Come here, darling,’ she said, taking her from Evie’s arms. She held her against her chest, pressing a kiss into her soft hair and wiping her tears away. ‘Did something happen, Rory?’

She leaned her head on her shoulder and played with her necklace while she continued to sniffle silently. Seeing that she would get no response out of her, Nesta turned her attention towards her daughter.

‘We were just talking,’ she shrugged, ‘but I may have been getting too excited about going to the Illyrian mountains so I was just telling her about that. I guess she got bored?’

Nesta laughed, hugging her sideways, careful not to crush Rory. She was so tall now, almost up to her chest, and her dark brown hair, identical to Cassian’s, smelled of lavender. Evie hugged her back immediately; she could be a clingy child, but Nesta loved that about her. She always showed people that she loved them.

‘No one could ever get bored of you telling stories. You’re great at storytelling,’ she admitted, kissing the top of her head. ‘I think she just needs a nap. What do you say, Rory? Do you want to sleep for a bit?’

Rory nodded, hand tangled in her hair. Evie pulled back, swaying on her heels. ‘When are the others coming?’

‘In about two or three hours. Why?’

‘Do you think daddy will want to go flying with me until then?’

‘Why don’t you ask him that?’

‘Ask me what?’

Cassian came out of the kitchen looking more poised than Nesta would’ve expected.

‘Come fly with me! Please, please, please!’

She bounced up and down, pulling him by the arm towards the door. Cassian tried to play hard, taking his time to consider it, and even Rory stopped crying to watch the two of them.

‘Fine, but go change your clothes, you can’t fly in a skirt.’

Evie stopped short. ‘Why not? I’m wearing underwear.’

Cassian opened his mouth to say something, then looked at Nesta for help.

‘Velaris doesn’t need to see your underwear, darling,’ she chuckled. ‘What if the kids from school see you? Especially that boy you told me about a couple of days ago?’

‘Boy? What boy?’

‘Mom, stop talking!’ she said, then went to her room to change.

‘What boy are you talking about?’ Cassian pressed, looking as if the world was going to end.

‘Just a boy she paired up with for her art project. She said he has cute horns.’

Cassian gasped, and it was so dramatic that Rory actually giggled. Nesta tried to bit her cheek as hard as she could to refrain from it, but to no avail.

‘She’s too young for boys!’

‘I’m ready, let’s go!’

Evie came running, all dressed in shorts and a sweater. Cassian wanted to say something, but Evie ran right past him and went straight outside, probably already taking to the skies. She didn’t like waiting for others.

Groaning, Cassian went after her. ‘Wait for me, this isn’t fair!’

‘War isn’t fair!’

‘Really? You’re telling _me_ that?’ Nesta heard him call after her.

Once they were gone, Nesta looked at Rory, who was no longer crying. ‘Now it’s all quiet and nice. What do yo say, take a nap or eat something?’

‘Eat,’ she said, ‘then nap.’

Nesta grinned, making her way towards the kitchen. ‘Couldn’t have said it better myself.’


	22. Chapter 22

‘We’ve been knocking for five minutes now, are you people deaf?!’

‘…swear to the gods that I would’ve blasted that damn door down if I had to wait one more minute.’

‘Simmer down, Amren, they have four kids. You try handling just one and we’ll talk.’

‘Why? I’m not dumb enough to not use tonics. They did it to themselves.’

‘Where is everyone? We got food, come on!’

‘Should we— oh, there are my favourite nieces in the world! Come here!’

Cassian was watching Nesta struggle to braid her hair backwards into a bun, which was so entertaining that he couldn’t be bothered to get up and go let his family in. It’s not like they couldn’t do that themselves — he was pretty sure at least Feyre had a key to their place. Once he heard Amren start cursing, though, he was tempted to go downstairs, but it seemed like they let themselves in.

Nesta suggested that he should go see to them, but when Elain practically announced that the twins got there first, he refused. The girls could play hosts for a few more minutes.

Aurora was sitting on the bed next to him, playing with a few dolls. She wasn’t really interested in what Nesta was doing, and definitely didn’t see it as fun. Cassian, on the other hand, was very close to bursting into laughter.

‘This isn’t funny,’ she groaned, half-bent. ‘My arms are killing me. This is hell.’

‘Why don’t you just let it be? Your hair is beautiful, you don’t need to braid it all the time.’

‘I know that,’ she snapped, finally glaring at him with barely suppressed rage. It brought him great pleasure. ‘I just prefer it when it’s braided. It’s more efficient.’

‘I would’ve understood if you were off to battle, but seeing that you only have to face your family, I think you’re in the clear. I don’t think either Feyre or Elain have any plans of pulling you by it tonight.’ He then glanced at Aurora, making sure she wasn’t paying attention. ‘I can’t say the same about me, though.’

It was clear that Nesta had a thing or two to say about that, judging by the killer look she had on her face, but thank the Cauldron for Aurora’s presence; she wouldn’t swear in front of her.

After trying one more time — and failing — Nesta violently unbraided her hair and groaned in frustration. ‘I give up. My arms are sore and I’m not trying again, so let’s go downstairs, I’m starving.’

Cassian got to her before she could stand up and turned her chair towards her vanity mirror. Nesta looked at him through it, giving him a puzzled look.

‘Don’t tell me you want to braid my hair. You can’t do it like I want it.’

He picked up her brush from the table and gently detangled it. ‘If I do it right, you’ll go on a date with me tomorrow night. No questions asked.’

A small smile played on her lips. ‘A date? Who’s going to watch the kids?’

‘Feyre. I already asked her.’

‘That means you’ve been planning this?’

He raised an eyebrow as he parted her hair, then began to braid. ‘I remember saying no questions. Which part of that was unclear?’

‘Fine,’ she conceited. ‘It’s been a while since we went on a date. Remember our first one?’

‘Which one? Cause the first time I was supposed to take you out you forgot about it because you were reading since dawn, the second one you stood me up because you panicked and the third one — I guess that would count as the official one — you were so nervous you wouldn’t even look at me, so we just bickered most of it.’

Cassian saw her gasp. ‘That’s not true, I wasn’t nervous!’

‘Your hands were shaking under the table. It was the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen you do.’

‘ _You_ were even more nervous when I slept in your bed that night during the storm. Remember?’

Oh, he remembered that night fondly, though at the time it almost ruined him.

It was when Nesta was still having nightmares, but they were at a certain point in their relationship where they were frenemies (with unspoken feelings), so they were closer than at the beginning and Nesta began to let him in, but they still had arguments. On one such night, when Cassian had just come back from a mission, he felt the presence of someone in his room. He didn’t know who it was; at first, he thought it was an assassin or his brothers wanted to play a prank on him, so he had his dagger ready, just in case. Once he opened the door to his room though, dagger pointed to the said intruder, his hand faltered.

Perched on his window seat with her knees hugged close to her chest was Nesta, though it wasn’t the one he was used to at that point in their relationship — cheeks damp from tears, deep, dark circles under her red eyes and shaking hands, which were fisted in her nightshirt. When she saw him, she quickly wiped her tears and made to stand up, but her knees were too weak, though she didn’t want to admit that.

‘I’m sorry,’ she’d said, voice shaky. ‘I… I guess you know what this is about. I have nightmares every night and I haven’t slept in almost two days, and I can’t take it anymore. I can’t stand to wake up crying alone one more time, seeing nothing but darkness and thinking I’m back into that blasted Cauldron. This morning it took me an hour to get in the shower without panicking, and I’m so, so tired, I just want to sleep.’

When her lower lip began to tremble, Cassian had crossed the room in a heartbeat and wrapped his arms around her, cursing those queens once more for doing this to her.

‘It’s fine, sweetheart,’ he’d said, smoothening her hair. ‘You’re going to be fine, I promise. Nothing and no one will ever touch or hurt you again.’

‘Can… I sleep here? With you?’

When she’d pulled back and looked at him with big, uncertain eyes, _his_ knees almost gave out.

‘Of course you can. Why would you even ask that?’

That had been the first time Nesta was vulnerable in front of Cassian, and most importantly, the first time she’d reached for any sort of help. It broke his heart and filled it with gratitude at the same time — she was going to be fine. As long as she was asking for help, it meant that she wanted to learn how to live, not just survive.

The part where he got nervous was when they’d got into bed. Nesta’s back was facing him, and it took everything in his power not to reach out and touch her, hold her hand, comfort her in any way. He’d desperately wanted to say something, anything, but no words would come out. When she’d turned around and faced him, Cassian was rendered speechless.

He remembered thinking that she was the most beautiful and terrible thing he’d ever seen, and he still thought that to this day.

Beautiful, because everything about her was ethereal, otherworldly, unpredictable.

Terrible, because he knew she was his mate, and that he was so in love with her, it made his soul ache.

Cassian had been yearning for Nesta long before he’d met her, and their meeting was a stroke of luck he didn’t think he deserved.

‘That was the first time you held my hand,’ he continued, smiling softly. ‘Yours was shaking like a leaf.’

This time, Nesta didn’t contradict him. ‘And when you kissed my hand, my heart wouldn’t stop racing.’

Cassian finished her braid, securing it with a hair tie. Nesta’s eyes went wide as she gently dabbed it.

‘I take it back, you’re really good at this.’

He turned her chair around, then kneeled in front of it. As he took her hand in his and kissed it, just as he did that night, Nesta laughed.

‘Just like I am at all things.’

‘I love you.’

‘And I love you.’

‘I was really lucky, you know. I don’t think I could’ve come to terms with myself if you wouldn’t have helped me through that phase.’

‘You did all the hard work, Nes. I will always be in your corner, backing you up.’

She shook her head, chuckling. ‘And I’ll be in yours, too. Even when you’re wrong.’

‘I thought we agreed that I’m never wrong.’

‘I can’t keep that lie going for another few years, Cass, you need to accept it at this point. It’s just who you are, but I still love you for it.’

Before Cassian had a chance to say anything, Nesta have him a peck on the cheek, then made her way towards Aurora.

‘Are you ready to go downstairs, my love? Do you wanna meet more bats like Cass?’

Aurora dropped her dolls and clapped, nodding her hands in excitement. Nesta picked her up with a laugh, grinning from ear to ear as Aurora wrapped her tiny arms around her neck, leaning her head on her shoulder as she always did. It was obvious how much Nesta loved her — and Aurora obviously loved her back.

‘Let’s go meet some bats!’ she said in her baby voice, making her giggle.

‘Wait for me!’

* * *

The atmosphere downstairs was… chaotic, to put it mildly. Their dining room was filled with laughter and shrieks, the kids running from one corner to another as they played. Rhys was in one corner with Mor, whispering like a couple of secretive teenagers, while Roslyn was sitting on the floor with little Finian, who was playing with some cubes. Feyre and Elain were playing with wooden swords with the twins and Caiden, and Azriel was sitting with Amren at the table, both looking like they could use more wine than the ones in their cups.

‘Mom, finally, what took you so long?!’ Rheya exclaimed, sword still pointed at Caiden.

Then the attention turned towards her, and the little girl she was holding.

‘Oh,’ Mor said softly, finally coming out of the shadows. ‘My gods, she’s so beautiful.’

‘Hello again, Aurora, remember me?’

Feyre waved at Rory, who, once she recognised someone in the room, attempted a small smile.

‘Show me a trick again?’

Feyre burst into laughter, and so did Nesta. ‘Of course, as many as you want. Do you want to see them now?’

Rory nodded, kicking her legs until Nesta set her on the floor, and watched as she reached for Feyre’s hand. Her sister bit her lip in excitement, leading her across the room.

‘How about you meet the family first? They’ve been dying to see you, you know. I told them so much about you and how brave you are.’

‘Mom, is that her?’

Caiden, who dropped his sword and ran to his mother’s side, stared at Rory with curiosity.

‘Hi, I’m Caiden,’ he introduced himself. ‘I can show you a magic trick as well.’

Before anyone could protest, Caiden set his hand aflame, making Rory’s eyes bulge out. Feyre’s breath hitched and Rhys just sighed, but it was obvious that the boy knew how to control his elements.

‘That was actually decent,’ Amren complimented him, finally turning around in her chair. ‘Better than last time.’

Caiden scoffed. ‘Would it kill you to ever compliment my skills? It’s perfect!’

‘It would, because then you’re going to become arrogant, and arrogant people are the worst. Just look at your father.’

‘I am _not_ arrogant!’

‘He said, in an arrogant manner,’ Amren rolled her eyes.

‘Wait, if we’re doing tricks, I want to show her some as well!’ Rheya exclaimed. ‘Rory, look!’

‘I want to show her some, too!’

‘Oh, for fuck’s sake,’ Amren muttered under her breath before gulping down her wine. ‘Are we really going to do this now? I’m starving, I’m not in the mood to supervise you all!’

The kids, excited to show off their impeccable skills, took Rory’s hand and lead her towards the sofa, where they sat her down and instructed her not to move. She seemed more than excited to do that, watching them with wide, curious eyes, grinning like this was the best thing in the world.

Amren’s eyes flashed as she levelled both Nesta and Feyre a look. ‘You two ought to start paying me for keeping your offsprings alive. I used to counsel kings and empresses, now look at me.’

‘How the mighty fall,’ Cassian drawled from behind her, and Nesta bit her tongue to keep from laughing.

‘Fuck you,’ Amren said before going to sit down next to Rory, crossing her arms as she watched the kids. Still, Rory didn’t mind her gloomy aura, and actually scooted closer to her as she watched.

‘She’s so adorable, my heart is breaking,’ Mor said, glancing at her with awe. ‘And she looks so full of joy.’

‘I still can’t believe that they lived like that,’ Ros said, holding Fin in her arms.

‘What about their parents?’ Rhys inquired, sipping from his wine glass.

‘Dead,’ Cassian replied. ‘At least the mom is. They don’t know who the father is, so he might as well just be dead.’

‘Where is Aedan?’ Azriel asked.

‘He didn’t come at all?’ Nesta frowned. ‘I thought he would’ve at least said hi.’

‘It’s fine, I’m sure he’s just nervous,’ Mor said, patting her arm. ‘I don’t think he expected to meet so many of us tonight.’

‘Girls, where is Aedan?’ Cassian asked.

‘His room,’ they responded in unison, barely paying them any attention.

Nesta wanted to go check on him, but Cassian squeezed her shoulder. ‘It’s fine, I got him. I’ll be down in a bit, you guys can start eating.’

‘Actually, can I come with?’

They all stared at Rhys, who was still holding that damn wine glass, looking as if he was at an art gallery, walking around fancifully, not in a nuthouse.

‘What? Maybe he’ll like me and he’ll come down.’

‘I seriously doubt that, but sure, come on,’ Cassian shrugged. ‘Don’t say any weird crap, though.’

‘I never say weird crap!’

‘And act normal. Don’t freak him out.’

Rhys gasped as they excited the dining room. ‘How dare you, children love me! Yours are coming over every day!’

‘For free stuff,’ she heard Cassian say, and her, Mor and Ros burst into laughter.

‘That’s going to be an interesting conversation.’

* * *

Cassian knocked on Aedan’s door, saying that there was someone here who wanted to meet him and if they could come in. He was certain he wasn’t going to reply, but then he opened the door himself, and his eyes landed immediately on Rhys.

Well, to Cassian, Rhys was just Rhys, his other moronic brother.

To Aedan, though, Rhys was the High Lord of the Night Court, and he knew of the stories that the denizens of the Hewn city spread about him; and none of them were good.

Cassian and Nesta made sure to let him know that they were just stupid rumours, and that Rhys was an incredibly good person. Cassian explained in more detail of the reasons why he acted like that in the Hewn city, and that it was all just a front. Aedan seemed more relaxed after that, but now that he was seeing Rhys in the flesh, there was panic in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, staring at him as if he were a ghost, but no words came out.

‘Remember, Aedan, they’re all just lies and gossip,’ Cassian reminded him, and he saw his brother’s smile falter a little bit.

‘I see that they still paint me as the bad wolf back there,’ he said with a humourless laugh. ‘But Cassian is right, so please, don’t fear me. I’m nothing like what they say, I can assure you. Do you mind if we come in?’

Aedan didn’t respond, but he moved from the doorway, making room for them. Cassian still had no idea what Rhys wanted to talk to Aedan about, and he refused to say anything on the stairs, which pissed him off. He sat on one of the armchairs, pulling some dolls from behind him, while Rhys surveyed the bookshelves.

‘Why don’t you want to come downstairs?’ Cassian asked him. ‘They’re waiting for you, you know.’

‘I’m sorry, but I… I sort of panicked when I heard everyone come in.’

He kept tugging at his sleeves, which was what he always did when he was nervous. Cassian motioned for him to sit on the other armchair, and he did, glancing cautiously at Rhys from here and there.

‘It’s okay, don’t worry about it. You don’t have to come if you don’t feel like it. We can stay here and play a game. Rhys, why do you keep staring at those books? It’s really creeping me out.’

Rhys gave him a puzzled look. ‘Because some of the priestesses were complaining about some missing books, but it seems like they somehow winded up here. Weird.’

He sat on the edge of Rory’s bed, his attention now focused on Aedan. ‘Did we really freak you out that much?’

Aedan nodded, remaining silent. When he got like that, Cassian wanted to pull him in a hug and remind him that he was alright and so was his sister, and that the people surrounding him now wanted only the best for him — including Rhys, who was obviously intimidating him.

‘My mate thought that as well when she first met us,’ Rhys said, his face softening at the mention of Feyre. ‘You met her, didn’t you? Feyre. She’s downstairs making magic tricks for your sister.’

‘The High Lady,’ Aedan said quietly. ‘I thought they were just rumours at first. They only said bad things about her.’

‘Well, you’ve met her. Were the rumours true?’

‘No,’ Aedan said, understanding where he was getting at. ‘You really don’t murder Fae from other courts for sport?’

Rhys cringed. ‘Definitely not.’

‘You didn’t burn that building in the Hewn city three months ago?’

‘I was on vacation three months ago, so I’m pretty sure I didn’t.’

‘And what about the ones who disobey you? You don’t skin them alive and then make them eat their eyeballs?’

Both of them cringed, Rhys more so than him. ‘Are the Fae there really _that_ bored? That’s just disgusting, I’m very squeamish about eyes.’

‘I heard a merchant say that in the War, you impaled ten soldiers on one lance, then threw them across the field. Is that also false?’

‘Yes, they were only four.’

‘Oh. Did you also cut down five soldiers with a broken branch?’

‘That’s just ridiculous. How would I be able to do that?’

‘I think you can,’ Cassian said, now in deep thought. ‘I’ll test that one out.’

‘Why do I get the feeling you’re a bit disappointed by some of my answers?’

To his eternal surprise, Aedan almost, _almost_ smiled at Rhys, and he noticed that, too.

‘I grew up hearing scary stories about you. I thought you’d be a bit more… frightening.’

‘Why would I want to frighten you? You’re a kid, I don’t like scaring kids.’

‘Wait, what about me? Do they not say stories about me as well?’

Now Aedan looked almost uncomfortable. ‘You don’t want to know, trust me.’

Cassian straightened his back. ‘I do! Tell me.’

‘I warned you,’ he sighed. ‘They say you’re a savage who can barely talk, growls a lot, only knows how fight, pillages villages, kidnaps women, steals power from other strong Illyrians to feed his Siphons and was involved in numerous war crimes.’

If his face was the definition of shock, Rhys’ was that of pure amusement. He was laughing so hard that he had to bite his hand, and Cassian didn’t know which topic to tackle first.

‘None of that is true!’

‘I know,’ Aedan assured him.

‘I’m very articulate and I never kidnapped anyone! And to even suggest that I would feed off of other Illyrian’s powers— Rhys, quit laughing or I’ll kick your ass!’

Rhys had the nerve to wipe his tears from laughing so hard. ‘I’m sorry, this was extremely entertaining. Please tell me there’s more.’

‘Not really,’ Aedan shrugged. ‘Oh, only that Nesta hexed you to be with her and you’re basically her pet.’

‘Oh, I can’t wait to tell Feyre _that_ one,’ Rhys said, bursting into laughter again.

Cassian groaned, covering his face with his hands. ‘I hate that city so much, I can’t even put it into words.’

‘Stop proving their point that you can’t talk,’ Rhys snickered.

‘Do you really want to piss me off?’

‘No. Why, is it working?’

‘You’re not making a very good impression on Aedan, you know.’

At that, Rhys stopped laughing. ‘Why not? I just deconstructed every false impression he had about me, I thought that would help! Is it helping, Aedan?’

‘A bit, I guess.’

‘Does that mean that you’ll come downstairs with us?’

‘Do I have to?’

‘Now? No, not really. But at some point, you do,’ Rhys said, leaning his arms on his knees. ‘I know how difficult it is to get out of your shell and make room for more people in your life. Many people in this family share that problem as well, so you’re not alone. Feyre, for example, hated my guts when she first met me, even though we were mates. Don’t even get me started on Cassian and Nesta. Amren’s also a little tough, but you can just pretend she’s not there, she’s small and easy to look over. Mor, Ros and Elain are going to adore you, though, but I promise I won’t let them be too overbearing.’

‘What if they don’t, though? What if they don’t like me?’

Silence fell across the room. Cassian wanted to reassure him that it was not the case, that no one could not like him, because he was an incredible person with a heart of gold. It tore his heart to know that someone with so much courage could think so little of himself.

Rhys cocked his head to the side, examining Aedan with keen interest. ‘I have just met you, but do you know what I see when I look at you?’

Aedan didn’t say anything, but he was clearly waiting for Rhys to continue.

‘A brave, fierce and selfless heart. In the Illyrian camp I grew up into, there were many children with no parents or homes, and they all shared one thing: they were always in a survival mode. And you know how that made some of them? Arrogant, selfish, brash. They only looked after themselves, and it hurt them in the future. They weren’t team players. You, however, are the opposite of that. You took care of your sister, made sure she stayed not just alive, but also happy. You did what you had to do to make sure she survives. And after all you’ve been through, you still have a good heart. I don’t think you understand how rare that is, and how glad I am to know someone like you.’

He stood up, then extended his hand towards Aedan.

‘Besides inviting you to dinner downstairs, I want to say that I’m honoured to have someone like you in Velaris,’ he said, then a smile bloomed on his face. ‘and in my family. I hope you can call this city your home, because as far as I’m concerned, its gates will always be open for you and Aurora.’

With a trembling hand, Aedan gripped his and shook it. Rhys winked at Cassian, and though he was still annoyed at him, his heart was bursting with pride for Aedan.

‘Thanks,’ Cassian mouthed.

‘Now can we go eat? Because I’m starving. Come on, Aedan, you’re coming as well, I don’t want to hear no for an answer. Now tell me, is it really that easy to steal from Cassian, or are you really skilled?’

Aedan didn’t even flinch when Rhys put his arm on his shoulders, leading him towards the door, and the look of pure awe on his face whenever Rhys talked said enough about the impression he made on him.

At least he was finally letting them in.

* * *

‘Mor, you can’t just go up and hug him, he doesn’t even know you!’

‘But he’s—‘

‘No, don’t,’ Cassian warned her. ‘I don’t want to hear it.’

‘But look at him, he looks like he needs a hug! He’s adorable!’

‘If he wants one, he’ll ask for it. Don’t smother him.’

Mor just flipped him off before making her way towards her seat, which was right in front of Aedan’s. As soon as she had laid eyes on him, Mor’s mouth hung open and almost went in for a hug, but Cassian was faster. He gripped her arm and pulled her back, maintaining a fake smile all the while.

He didn’t blame her, though. Mor was like that with all the kids, and she had a soft spot for those that went through difficult things. Still, she didn’t push him.

‘How do you like Velaris so far, Aedan?’ she asked, a blinding smile on her face.

‘It’s beautiful,’ he replied, playing with his food. ‘and more peaceful.’

To his right, Evie was eating like there was no tomorrow, and next to Evie was Rheya, who was laughing at Aurora squishing her food. At the head of the table, right next to Aurora, was Nesta, who was trying to wipe Aurora’s face, but to no avail. The girl was a messy eater.

Then to Nesta’s right was Roslyn, and then Mor, who was balancing Fin on her knees and attempting to convince him to try some vegetables. He wouldn’t have any of it, eating only the meat. His white hair was tied in an adorable ponytail, and it was so clear how much he loved his moms. They both showered him with love and affection, and his giggles of joy whenever they spun him around or tickled him were infectious.

Rhys and Feyre were sitting next to Mor, and then Caiden, who was eating and talking at the same time, despite Feyre’s warnings. Seated at the other head of the table and sipping what seemed to be her fourth glass of wine was Amren, looking mildly bored but still answering all of Caiden’s questions about random things. Then came Cassian and Azriel, probably the only ones who were not chatty (Cassian unusually so).

‘Did you have any friends back there?’

Aedan made a sour face. ‘No. How would that have helped me?’

‘Well, having friends has its benefits,’ said Mor, eyeing the lot of them. ‘Believe it or not.’

‘I say don’t,’ intervened Amren. ‘I’ve been friends with them for the last couple hundred years and I’m still waiting for the benefits.’

‘That’s because you’re not a sociable person. Aedan here might be,’ said Rhys.

‘I’m not.’

‘And maybe he’ll make friends that he’ll want to hang out with all the time.’

‘I don’t really see that happening.’

‘Who knows? Maybe it will happen sooner than we think!’

‘I barely leave the house.’

Rhys sighed, setting down his cutlery. ‘You’re supposed to back me up, not give Amren the satisfaction of being right. Look at her grin, is this what you wanted?’

‘Leave him be,’ said Nesta. ‘He can make friends whenever.’

Evie glared at them. ‘He has friends, though. Me and Rheya. Right, Aedan?’

Cassian noticed it; he saw how his face softened when the girls both looked at him expectantly, encouraging him silently to speak his mind, as they always did. It happened more often recently, and he guessed it was due to spending so much time together. He was glad to know that despite everything, at least Aedan had it left in him to befriend his daughters.

‘Right,’ he eventually replied, mirroring their smiles. ‘I guess I do now.’

* * *

‘Auntie Mor, that’s a splendid bracelet you have there. Where did you get it from?’

‘This one? From a market in the Day Court, if I remember correctly. Or maybe… wait, are you doing it again?’

‘Mom, Evie’s trying to take stuff again!’

Exasperated, Nesta wiped Aurora’s hands once more before turning to Rhys, the only one left in the kitchen. ‘Can you watch her for a bit while I go and stop Evie from stealing Mor’s stuff again?’

‘Of course. She’s getting better at it, though. Last week she convinced me to give her an old jewellery box. I guess she’ll need it after that conversation with Mor finishes.’

Nesta gave him a look before picking Aurora up from her chair and setting her down. ‘Not funny. Aurora, I’m going to check on the girls, and I’ll be back in a bit. Stay here with Rhys for a bit?’

‘Okay. Come back soon?’

‘I’ll be back before you know it, darling.’

She saw Rhys bend down to talk to her before leaving the kitchen. The only ones left in the living room were Evie, Mor, Roslyn and Finian; Azriel and Elain left ten minutes ago, Amren left as soon as dinner was over and Feyre was in her office with Cassian, planning a trip for an object Feyre was searching for. Rheya was probably in her room with Aedan and Caiden after snitching on her sister— she really hoped those two were getting along fine.

‘I love the stone. What is it?’

‘Rubies, you know how much I love red. I wasn’t sure if this would look better or one with emeralds, though.’

‘Oh, emeralds would definitely go with your skin tone and hair. What am I even saying, every gemstone suits you.’

Mor laughed while Ros shook her head, an amused smile playing on her lips.

‘You’re definitely doing it again, but I don’t even care, you’re too adorable and know how to compliment a woman. Here, it’s yours.’

Before Mor could unclasp her bracelet and give it to Evie, Nesta cleared her throat. Sighing, Evie turned around to face her, then offered her an innocent smile.

‘Need any help with the dishes, mom?’

‘Cut the play, stop playing Mor for things!’

‘It’s fine Nesta, I don’t mind, she can have it if she likes it.’

‘The problem is that she likes too many of your things. Evie, cut it out, you don’t need jewelleries. You’re ten.’

‘Mom, stop meddling, no one asked you anything!’

‘Stop hoarding things, you won’t even wear it!’

‘You don’t know that!’

‘Unfortunately for you, I do, I know you. Come on, move away from it. Stop eyeing it like a hawk.’

Huffing, Evie stood up, glaring at her. ‘You’re just trying to snuff my potential.’

‘I’m trying to stop you from becoming a kleptomaniac. It’s different.’

‘You’re so annoying!’ she yelled before running up the stairs.

‘Don’t forget to brush your teeth!’

‘Is she really playing me that often?’ Mor asked once she was gone, and both Nesta and Ros burst into laughter.

‘Oh, love, you have no idea,’ Ros said, face flushed from laughing so much.


	23. Chapter 23

_Three months later_

The change in their family’s dynamic was so sudden and fast that Nesta had barely taken notice of it. It went from complete chaos to a routine that ran so smooth, it made her life from before seem ten times harder. There were bumps and stops here and there, but with each passing day, she realised just how much better things have gotten. Part of that was due to their new family members, Aedan and Aurora, whose place was now with them.

Still, she needed to have a talk with her mate, who’d just dropped off the twins and Aedan at training (he was shadowing for now, but was keen on practicing with the girls) and arrived home right after she put Aurora in bed for her nap. The sweet girl clung to her until her eyes couldn’t take it anymore and fell asleep in her arms, as she did almost every day now. Nesta loved it more than words could tell.

‘Cass?’ she called out from her office.

She was sorting through some documents that needed her signature. She went back to work a month ago, though only for a couple of days a week, and it was… not easy. During those hours, Aedan was with Cassian while he trained the legions (which he grew to like more and more) and Aurora was with her. It wasn’t that she distracted Nesta; no, on the contrary, she was easily entertained. Give her a couple of toys and some snacks and she was settled. Sometimes she’d ask Eleri to play with her during important meetings, which he was happy to do, just so nothing could interrupt those official meetings.

‘Need something?’

‘Yes, to have a talk.’

Furrowing his brows, Cassian shut the door behind him. ‘Something happened?’

‘Yes. No. Not really, I just… I need to talk with you.’

Cassian leaned on her desk, obviously worried, but trying not to show it too much. ‘Tell me. What’s wrong?’

She didn’t want to beat around the bush and so she did the most natural thing: she blurted it out.

‘I don’t want Aedan and Aurora to leave. Ever. I don’t want them to go live with another family and call them mom or dad. I want them to stay here, with us, and I’ve even prepared a speech to convince you why it’s a brilliant idea. Here, let me grab it.’

She picked up the piece of paper from her desk, avoiding eye contact with her mate as much as possible. Though he was unusually still, Cassian didn’t interrupt her.

She cleared her throat, holding the paper before her eyes. ‘I love them both as if they were my own. Well, our own. I think they got used to us and our lives and I see their progress every day. Aurora is an absolute delight, except for when it’s bath time and she destroys everything. She falls asleep on me like a kitten and I swear to the gods, her whole face brightens up whenever she sees you walk into a room or play with her. She asks for you whenever she’s sad, and she even told me that she prefers the mornings when you wake her, because she thinks you’re funnier than me. And Aedan, Aedan is the gentlest soul I’ve ever met, and he’s grown so much since that day. He even jokes with us now, and he admires you a lot. And he’s so damn selfless for a kid, it almost breaks my heart. When he hugged me without saying a word a couple of days ago, I almost cried. The girls would be devastated if they had to leave, and I think it’s a shit idea.’

She put the paper down, suddenly remembering an event that occurred yesterday. ‘Did I tell you what the girls asked me yesterday, right after school? If they could refer to them as their brother and sister. Evie wants everyone at school to know that they now have a brother who’s going to go to school with them soon, and a little sister whom they love to play with. And I don’t want to deny them that, because I also want them to be my children. I want us to adopt them, Cass, and I don’t care how hard it’ll be. I’ll—‘

A shriek left her mouth as Cassian pulled her into his arms, squeezing the air out of her, laughing with absolute joy.

‘You idiot, you were worried I was going to say no? Nesta, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about this for weeks, but I never knew how to bring it up or if it was too soon.’

‘Wait,’ she said, pulling apart. ‘You mean this? You want to adopt them?’

‘Of course I do. I love both of them with my whole heart.’

Nesta searched his face, his honest eyes, and found his words to be true. She knew it, already — Cassian was close with both of them. Of course he’d grow to love them.

Speechless, Nesta covered her mouth with her hand, feeling her eyes fill with tears. ‘We’re actually going to do this? They’ll live with us forever?’

Cassian wiped one of her tears, his enormous smile warming her heart. ‘Well, hopefully not forever. Living with four kids for the rest of my life wasn’t exactly the plan.’

She half-laughed, half-cried, not knowing how to measure her joy and excitement. ‘I can’t believe this is happening. We have four kids.’

‘Four,’ he repeated, shaking his head. ‘We’re going to be fucked in a couple of years, you know that, right?’

Nesta nodded, trying hard to wipe her face. ‘I can’t wait.’

‘Me either,’ he said, picking her up and spinning her around despite her protests. ‘I love you so, so much, sweetheart.’

Laughing, Nesta circled his neck with her arms and kissed him. ‘I love you too, Cass.’

‘Shall we tell them?’

‘Now? Shouldn’t we wait, talk to the girls as well?’

Cassian put her back on the ground, fixing her hair. ‘Do you want to tell them all at once?’

‘I think we should tell the girls first, then tell them all together, so they’ll get to see their reaction. I think they’d love that.’

Cassian nodded. ‘Perfect. Let’s go pick them up right now and tell them on the way home.’

He went straight for the door, leaving Nesta confused. ‘Now? Cass, it’s too early, they still have like three classes. We should—‘

‘Aedan! Can you come here for a second?’

Aedan appeared from his room, looking a bit dishevelled, which was normal for him at this time of day. He hated early mornings and usually spent them in his bed, practicing reading and writing. Leaning on the railing, he have Cassian a puzzled look.

‘Did something happen?’

‘No, why would something happen?’

‘You look like you’re in a good mood.’

‘I’m always in a good mood.’

Aedan raised one eyebrow, giving him a look of disbelief. ‘You weren’t yesterday.’

‘It’s different when I’m working, you know that.’

‘I’m not talking about training, I’m talking about when Rheya refused to play cards with you.’

Nesta bit back a laugh, watching as Cassian’s smile twitched.

‘Betrayal ought to dimmer your spirits, Aedan, but that’s a topic for later. Can you watch Aurora for twenty minutes while we go pick up the girls from school?’

‘Sure. Why are you picking them up so early?’

Nesta winked. ‘It’s a surprise.’

‘You know I hate surprises.’

Cassian elbowed her discreetly. ‘It’s not a surprise, she just wants to go have lunch together by the Sidra and can’t wait any longer.’

Aedan still wasn’t buying it. ‘But you said you wanted to make dumplings today for lunch and that I could help you.’

_Shit._

‘I know, but I didn’t feel like cooking today. We can make them for dinner, if you’d like.’

His eyes moved from Nesta to Cassian, from Cassian to Nesta, looking extremely suspicious. ‘You’re acting weird. Is this about me and Aurora?’

‘Well, yes, but…’ she shut her mouth as soon as Cassian elbowed her again. ‘I promise nothing’s wrong. We’ll be back in twenty minutes. Don’t answer the door to strangers, don’t turn on the oven and don’t leave any windows open for too long, we don’t need pixies in the house again.’

‘I know, I know, don’t worry. We’ll be fine.’

They left the house both worried and excited; worried that Aedan got the wrong message, and excited to tell the girls the news.

* * *

‘Are you being serious?’

‘Is this a joke?’

The girls stared at them with big eyes and mouth wide open, having trouble comprehending what they’d just said.

‘Why would we joke about this?’ asked Cassian. ‘This is serious. Your mother and I talked and we would really, really love to adopt Aurora and Aedan, but we want you two to be on board with this decision as well.’

Nesta tucked a few strands of Evie’s dark hair behind her ear, but she was too shocked to notice. ‘Remember yesterday when you asked me if you could call them brother and sister? Now you can, if you’d like.’

‘What do you guys think?’

The girls shared a look, the type that spoke loads without needing to say a word. It always fascinated Nesta when they did it — communicated with each other across a room, without needing to say a word. Maybe it was because they were twins and shared the same womb, but Nesta believed that it was also because they were good friends (who still fought like wildlings from time to time).

‘Yes,’

‘Fuck yes,’ they said in unison, Evie adding the ‘fuck’ as a bonus. ‘Sorry, mom.’

Nesta laughed. ‘I guess you can say ‘fuck’ in this situation.’

‘We have a brother now!’ Rheya said, cupping her hands in excitement. ‘And a sister! Did you tell them yet? Do they know?’

‘Can we tell them now? Please, please, we want to tell them!’

‘Can we tell the kids at school? Do auntie Feyre and Elain know? What will they say?’

‘Let’s go home right now!’

‘Mom, they’ll be so happy! I know Aedan will, and Aurora will finally have parents!’

Nesta and Cassian shared a look, and it was like looking in a mirror; they were both so happy and excited, that their eyes filled with tears. A part of her worried that the girls wouldn’t want to share them or wouldn’t be okay with them calling them mom or dad at some point, but they weren’t greedy children. They knew their place in the family, and loved Aedan and Aurora so much that they wouldn’t want to be separated by them. They were family already.

* * *

‘What’s this about?’ Aedan asked as they all sat down in the living room. ‘Did someone die?’

‘No, why would you think that?’ Cassian asked, bouncing a laughing Aurora on his knees.

‘Force of habit. Now will someone tell me what’s going on?’

Nesta looked at the girls, winking at them. Rheya got the cue, and she turned towards Aedan, barely containing her smile.

‘Aedan, would you like to be our brother?’

‘And Aurora our sister?’ completed Evie.

At first he look confused, looking at Nesta and Cassian as if they spoke another language, but then his face morphed into disbelief. ‘You don’t mean you…’

‘We want to adopt you,’ said Cassian. ‘We want you to live with us, not another family. If you also agree, of course.’

‘Please say yes, say yes!’ said the girls, holding his hands.

Aedan’s wary expression crumbled bit by bit, leaving way for a tentative smile. ‘You mean it?’

He was talking to Nesta, since she was the only quiet one.

She looked at Aurora, who was watching everything with curiosity, but wasn’t that interested in the topic. She clung to Cassian’s arm and asked him to keep bouncing her, and her laughter was infectious. And Aedan, the sweet, sharp-eyed boy she already considered to be her own.

She nodded, fighting back tears.

‘Of course I do, darling. I love you and your sister so much, you’ve no idea. We all do. I don’t want you to go anywhere else. I want you to stay here with us if you also want to and be part of our family for good.’

‘She means with documents,’ Cassian added. ‘She loves documents. Makes things official, apparently. According to her, we got married after a month of our actual wedding day, because that’s when she remembered to bring out the documents for signing.’

‘Will you shut up already? Let him think!’

‘I was just warning him of what he’s getting himself into!’

‘Yes, because scaring him is the right choice.’

‘Guys, I wouldn’t be too worried about that,’ Rheya said. ‘He knows by now that you’re not exactly in your right minds.’

‘See!’ Cass exclaimed. ‘Wait, what? What do you mean?’

Aedan looked at Aurora, at how happy she looked, and his face broke into the biggest smile she’d ever seen from him.

‘Yes,’ he said at long last. ‘Yes, I want you to be our parents. And you my sisters.’

The girls both jumped on him, howling like a pack of wolves, while Aurora jumped up and down as well, squeezing her way into the big hug. Nesta couldn’t hold it anymore and cried, joining their group hug, kissing their heads. Cassian came as well, picking Evie up as he hugged Aedan tightly, and it was the first time that she saw Aedan hug someone for so long without pulling back. Once he let go, Nesta pulled him in for a long hug, and she didn’t let go too soon.

‘I love you,’ she told him. ‘And I know no one can ever replace your mom, but I hope one day you can consider me yours. I already think of you as my son, and Rory as my daughter, and I love you both a lot.’

‘So do I!’ Cassian intervened, struggling to hold both Evie and Rheya up. ‘Don’t forget me, I also love you!’

Aedan looked up at her, and there were tears in those beautiful, yellow eyes. ‘I love you too. All of you. Before you left to pick up Rheya and Evie I was worried you found another family for us, and we weren’t ready to leave. We didn’t _want_ to leave.’

‘Another family? Of course not! You two aren’t going anywhere!’

She hugged him again, and Aedan indulged her for a long time. When they pulled apart she fixed his messy, long hair, and wiped his face.

‘We should go celebrate. What do you want to do? You pick.’

He grinned, giving the girls a knowing look. ‘Ice cream? And then maybe we can go horseback riding in the glen?’

‘Yes!’ they all screamed, except Nesta.

‘Wait, that’s a bit dangerous—‘

‘We’re going!’

Sighing, Nesta could do nothing but say yes. ‘I guess we are. But we’re going out for dinner tonight.’

‘Are you asking me out on a date?’ Cassian grinned.

‘No, we’re _all_ going.’

‘I can’t complain about that, either. Let’s go, everybody go change!’

Once the children ran upstairs to change, racing to see who would get there first, Nesta ran straight into Cassian’s arms.

‘I can’t believe we did it.’

‘I can’t believe we took so long to do it,’ he said. ‘they looked so happy.’

‘I know. Have you seen how his whole face lit up? I almost started bawling my eyes out.’

He laughed, kissing her forehead. ‘I noticed. Now let’s go change, I don’t think that dress is suitable for horseback riding.’

She groaned, letting him drag her to their bedroom. ‘I’m not really in a riding mood.’

‘Really? You were this morning.’

‘At least I get some pleasure out of that. What do I get from doing _this_?’

‘Your children’s joy?’

She made a face at that. ‘Yeah, they’re generally full of joy, so that’s not a very convincing argument.’

‘What if I promise you a weekend all by ourselves? We can go to that cabin in the mountains, just the two of us, no children.’

Nesta grinned. ‘ _Now_ we’re talking.’


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Sorry for the long wait, I'm momentarily all caught up in assignments for uni and trying to make the deadlines. Fingers crossed!
> 
> Enjoy this chapter of Cassian and Aedan bonding -- I loved writing this one so much.

‘Are you sure I should come?’

‘Why shouldn’t you? It won’t take long. Are you nervous?’

‘Maybe? Last time I went to a merchants’ fair, I was chased right to the outskirts of the town. I stole quite a lot of money that day.’

Cassian couldn’t help but grin. ‘But you _did_ outrun them. That’s quite impressive, seeing that they usually carry traps and books with binding spells around. Were you ever caught?’

Aedan shrugged, rubbing his wrists. They carried no proof of being shackled or hurt, but he remembered how they looked like the first time he saw him. He was bruised all over, and he had no doubt that the assailants didn’t let him go willingly. Aedan somehow managed to escape.

‘You know I was. You saw my bruises.’

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry,’ he apologised. ‘We don’t have to talk about it, if you don’t want to. It’s all in the past.’

Aedan fell silent as they made their way towards the fair. They were there on business — Nesta had been pleading with him all morning to go and find her some objects she’s been searching for: a corpse’s mask and a memory ring. They were quite rare artefacts, but she heard from someone that a certain witch would be at the fair and she possessed them. He gave in after a while, and asked Aedan if he’d like to accompany him.

They spent quite a lot of time together. Cassian pushed for it, of course, because he really, _really_ wanted to bond with Aedan. It was quite hard to have heartfelt chats during his trainings with the legions, but he still tried. And Aedan began to open up: he was no longer the reticent child he’d met months ago. He talked more freely, he laughed, he voiced his thoughts and opinions. It seemed that as soon as he realised that he was no longer in danger, he could be himself, and Cassian felt extremely lucky to witness that.

Especially the character growth; in some ways, Aedan reminded him of a younger Azriel, who kept to himself and liked to observe the world around him. In other scenarios, like when he was playing or annoyed, he reminded Cassian of himself. Boisterous, confident, quick on his feet. Those were some skills that Cassian greatly admired and respected.

Plus, he loved this kid. He really wanted to have a good relationship with him, no matter how much he had to try. He had all the time in the world.

With Aurora it was easy; she was little more than a toddler. She barely had memories of her first years of life, and Aedan was all she knew. She already saw Nesta as a maternal figure, would probably call her mom any day now, and it was the same with Cassian. He had a great relationship with her. With Aedan… it was a bit more tricky, but he loved a challenge.

‘You get what it’s like,’ Aedan said after a while. ‘Your life as a kid wasn’t much easier, either, and you don’t exactly pity me. That’s why I like hanging out with you.’

Cassian looked at Aedan with surprise. ‘You like hanging out with me?’

Aedan frowned. ‘I do. Why else would I be here?’

‘I… sort of thought that you felt compelled to come.’

He raised his eyebrows and huffed. ‘Far from it. You don’t make a big deal out of what happened to us, at least not to our faces, so I feel more at ease. With Nesta, I sometimes feel like she’s a bit afraid to ask the wrong questions.’

‘Ah, I understand,’ he nodded. ‘She’s the cautious sort. She loves you dearly, but she sometimes doesn’t know how to get closer to you. It happens with everyone, actually. It takes a while to warm up to her.’

‘I don’t think she’s cold. Quite the opposite.’

‘You’d be the first not to think that. I should mark this down.’

‘Was she not like this when you first met?’

Cassian laughed, right as they entered the fair. There were caravans everywhere, Fae announcing their wares, the streets bustling with mingling people. Everything was colourful and magical, and the air was tinged with the sweet, deadly smell of magic.

‘Hell no. She was rude, mean, and very hard to like. But I still liked her, and I saw past her bullshit. She also had a tough childhood, so I couldn’t blame her.’

‘Did you like her because you’re mates?’

‘I didn’t realise right away that she’s my mate, so no. I liked her because I didn’t know her game, and I desperately wanted to play it with her.’

‘So you liked her because she was out of your league.’

‘That’s one way to put it, yes.’

‘Did she like you back?’

‘Absolutely not. She hated my guts.’

‘And after she found out you were her mate?’

Cassian pondered on that question for a while. ‘She hated me a little bit more.’

Aedan laughed, his whole face alight. ‘But you still charmed her. How?’

‘Have you ever liked somebody, Aedan?’

‘I liked this girl last year. She was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. She was oneyear older than me, and she had this long, blond hair, and eyes as black as the night. I stole some flowers for her once, but she didn’t accept them. I think she didn’t like me,’ he shrugged.

Cassian rested his arm on his shoulder. ‘Then she was a fool. Some girls your age are, though. Don’t tell the girls I said that, they’ll eat me alive.’

‘I won’t. They’d probably kill me, too.’

‘That’s how girls are, though. They’re prideful and rightfully so. When it came to Nesta, I knew flowers and gifts wouldn’t charm her, so I challenged her. She didn’t want someone to worship at her feet, she just wanted someone who could handle her. An equal.’

‘Girls my age certainly don’t want that. They want gifts and declarations of love. Yesterday I heard Evie say that if a boy doesn’t give her either flowers or a weapon, she certainly doesn’t want to hear what comes out of his mouth.’

An unexpected flare of pride filled his chest. They were way too young for romance, true, but he was glad to know that his daughters already had high expectations. Kept the weak ones away, which eased Cassian’s job as a dad.

‘Girls are a bit more materialistic. Don’t mention that to them, either. But between you and me, Aedan, it’s the way you behave around them that matters. You have to be polite, charming and funny at the same time.’

‘That seems like a lot of work.’

‘It is. But it’s worth it!’ he said with a big smile, which faltered in less than a second. ‘Usually.’

They walked between the packed alleys of the fair in search of the witch and her caravan, but they had no luck. He was certain she was here. Some merchants tried to stop them to offer samples, potions and elixirs, even charms that would fend off evil. Cassian subtly said that he wasn’t looking to get rid of his mate just yet. One offered Aedan a chest of rubies in exchange for one of his cat eyes, and when he saw him actually consider this, Cassian whisked him away.

‘Never bargain in a place like this, unless you want to bind yourself to them.’

‘But he offered me—‘

‘Not worth your soul!’

‘What can I do with my soul? Nothing. What can I do with a chest full of rubies? Everything!’

Cassian glanced at Aedan, trying hard not to laugh. ‘I don’t think you’d look very handsome with an eyepatch. But I know someone with a fake eye, and it just made him more annoying. You don’t want that.’

Still, the atmosphere was that of a celebration. Dancing young girls, bards singing at the top of their lungs, enchanted instruments that glued you to the spot to listen for hours on end. Aedan tried a few times to drift off to one of these shows, but Cassian didn’t let him out of his sight, and didn’t let go of his hand, no matter how many times he said it was embarrassing to be seen like that in front of all those Fae.

Somewhere at the outskirts of the fair, there was a gloomy caravan with almost no customers. Sitting on a rocking chair and smoking a pipe with what Cassian guessed to be some sort of hallucinogenic herbs, there was a crone dressed in a black dress, all bent and grumpy. As soon as her beady eyes landed on them, though, her wrinkly face morphed into a cheerful one.

‘My, my, customers! Come, see what I have! What do we have here, a legendary warrior? Where I come from, deep in the mountains, they whisper about you, Commander. Some in awe, some in fear. Tell me, what are you looking for?’

She stood up awkwardly, making her way towards the tables filled with objects. Some where weapons, others were intricate little boxes and hex bags that Cassian wouldn’t dare touch. Several objects that reeked of dark magic but were so beautiful that you could never have guessed.

‘Is it a weapon?’ the crone asked, eyeing him up and down with a greedy look. ‘I have the perfect ones right here. ‘I have a staff that causes rifts between worlds and lets you travel anywhere in this dimension, just like winnowing does. I have a longsword that in the hand of the fighter, it weights nothing, and never misses its mark,’ she said, extending her bony hands towards the weapons. ‘Shadowglass daggers, these are rare ones! They leave no mark on the body, and the damage is all internal. Kills the victim in less than a day, though it is a painful death. Or the helm of whispers! This is a popular one, though very pricey. It allows you to enter the mind of your opponent and know where they will try and hit you next. Very useful during combats.’

‘I’m not looking for weapons, I’m here for something else. Corpse’s mask and a memory ring.’

At that, the crone’s grey eyebrows shot upwards. ‘My, I wouldn’t have taken you for a politician as well, Commander. Those are very rare items.’

‘They’re not for me, they’re for my mate.’

A grotesque smile adorned the crone’s face. Cassian wondered just how ancient she was; thousands of years old? Surely she met several High Lords in her lifetime, and no one could intimidate her now.

Aedan, on the other hand, seemed intrigued by her dark aura. He looked at her with big eyes, not knowing what to make of her.

‘Oh, I’ve heard of her, all right. Born of darkness and magic. Nesta, isn’t it? Nesta Archeron.’

The woman began to search through her wares, humming softly to herself. She opened box after box, seeming completely lost in her world, and though she was old, she was quick on her feet.

‘In another world, not far from ours, there is a river called Acheron. It’s in the Underworld, ruled by a dark yet just god. Do you know what it represents?’ she stopped, checking another box, then cursed under her breath. ‘Woe and misery. Some say that it was used to carry the dead souls over the river, like a rite of passage, though it’s not the main one. I wonder… I can’t help but wonder what water the they forged her in when she was born into this world. Was it from that river? Is this why she lived such a rough life? Or maybe it was water from the river Styx, which would explain the hatred she nurtured for so many years. There’s also Lethe… Drinking from that river makes you forget everything there is to know. It strips you of identity, even of your soul. Some say you’re reborn, others that it’s the cruelest form of punishment. Which one do you think it is, Commander?’

The crone grinned, showing some missing teeth, and Aedan inhaled sharply, attempting to take a step back. Cassian squeezed his hand, giving him a reassuring look, before facing the crone with a bored expression.

‘Is there a river that makes you impatient? Because I’m willing to bet my money on that. She needs those objects before her meeting tomorrow.’

‘Of course, of course,’ she said sweetly, continuing to check her wares. ‘So many things collected over centuries, I’m surprised I haven’t misplaced my own head!’ she gave a shrill laugh. ‘Here it is! The ring of memory. My, powerful object, fit for a powerful bearer.’

She opened a small jewellery box, displaying the ring. It was small and had a big, yellow stone, with different carvings and runes etched upon its surface. The band was made of copper and resembled twigs, and though it was beautiful and intricate, it also had a powerful aura.

‘This ring will remember every conversation, every word whispered or shouted during a confrontation. It will store them all, along with their emotions, their thoughts, their intentions, be them ill or good. What a thoughtful little objects,’ she chuckled, then closed the box. ‘And this right here, is the corpse’s mask.’

The other box was bigger, covered in dust and spiderwebs. When she opened it, Cassian thought this was a joke — it was a ball mask. It was beautiful, covering all of the face, and it was made of golden and black crow feathers.

‘Wow,’ Aedan mumbled.

‘This one is extremely powerful. It stores different faces of deceased people, and morphs even your voice. One you put it on, you’ll become someone else entirely.’

‘How do I know it works?’

‘You want a demonstration? All right, then.’

The crone picked up the mask and placed it on her face. Within moments, everything about her began to change and smoothen out, her long, dark dress shortening into a billowy white one. Her face, which was marked by age, turned into a beautiful, pale one, with rosy cheeks and pouty lips. Even her white hair fell down her back into a yellow cascade, and her eyes, which were green and piercing, changed their colour into icy blue.

‘This body certainly reminds me of my good years,’ she giggled, staring down at herself. ‘Though mine used to be more generous than this one.’

‘Fuck, even her voice is different,’ Aedan said. ‘How does it do that?’

The woman laughed. ‘Trust me, my boy, you don’t want to know that. You’ll have nightmares for days,’ she winked.

Cassian had to admit that the change was impressive. She went from a crone to a young woman, and hard as he tried, he could see no glitch in her appearance, nothing to tell her away. She realised what she was looking for, and she even made a twirl for him, laughing softly at his disbelief.

‘Alright, I believe you. How much for both of them?’

‘I won’t ask for too much,’ she said, tracing the smooth skin of her arms. ‘Let’s say… Five thousand golden pieces?’

‘ _Five thousand?_ ’ Aedan gasped. ‘That’s outrageous!’

‘I have to agree with him. How about you lower it to three thousand?’

Her smile turned into a displeased frown. ‘And I thought we were becoming fast friends. Three thousand? For these rare items? I won’t hear of it.’

She took off the mask and placed it in its box, returning back to her old self.

‘Three fifty,’ Cassian offered.

‘ _Four_ fifty,’ the woman negotiated.

Good, he thought. At least she’s willing to bargain.

‘Three fifty. I know you don’t have many customers here, so this is better than nothing.’

‘What a trained eye you have, Commander. I’m willing to lower it down to four thousand in exchange for a palm reading.’

‘A palm reading?’ he frowned. ‘Why would you want to predict my future?’

‘Not yours,’ she rolled her eyes. _‘His.’_

She jutted her chin towards Aedan, who barely realised they were talking about him.

‘Me? Why?’

‘Because I have a feeling about you, boy, and I wish to know more. I wish to see what the future brings you.’

‘No,’ Cassian intervened. ‘I know you witches, how you trick Fae with promises of the future and whatnot. You’re not touching my son.’

‘I have no intentions of harming him, Commander, have no worries. Not all witches seek to kidnap young children for their spells, though they are powerful sacrifices. I simply have an itch about him and I want to know if it’s true.’

He was prepared to refuse her again, but then Aedan looked up at him. ‘Let her. I want to know as well.’

‘Aedan, I don’t think this is a good idea,’ he whispered. ‘She’s a witch, we don’t know what she’s capable of.’

‘She’s not going to hex me, don’t worry. I already have a hex bag in my pocket. Plus, you’re here, so nothing bad will happen. She can’t hurt me,’ he shrugged.

Something told him that this was a bad idea, that this witch shouldn’t touch him, but there was eagerness in his eyes. Cassian knew that look all too well — he also wanted to know what the future had in store for him when he was young. He knew what that curiosity could do to you.

‘Alright,’ he finally gave in. ‘But if you try doing anything funny, I won’t hesitate to remove your head from your shoulders.’

The witch gave him a curt nod. ‘You have my word that I won’t harm your child, Commander. Come, come, let me look at you, boy.’

Aedan let go of Cassian’s hand and made his way towards the witch. She held her arms out across the table and cocked her head to the side once she took Aedan’s hands in his, squeezing her eyes shut.

‘Grew up alone, didn’t you? A harsh life… Especially with a baby on your watch. Aren’t you quite brave.’

Aedan flinched, watching the witch with both wonder and alarm. Cassian’s hand was positioned right above his dagger, just in case.

‘Your mom was a lower Fae, but not a powerful one. Your father… he must’ve been High Fae. This would explain the power coursing through your veins. Would you like to know who he was?’

Silence fell across the conversation. Cassian’s chest tightened, and for a second, he was reminded that he wasn’t, in fact, Aedan’s father, though he viewed him as his own son.

‘No,’ said Aedan. ‘I’ve no interest in him. I have a family now.’

The witch nodded and kept on talking, though Cassian spaced out for a moment. He called them his family — _all_ of them. The joy and happiness he felt in that moment overcame the anxiety of watching that witch gaze into his future, and though he wanted nothing more than to hug him, he let her finish.

The crone’s features softened ever so slightly. ‘You have a grand future in store, my boy. I can see it as clear as the dawn. Upon your brow you’ll wear the mark of darkness, and you’ll wear it with pride and joy, for you’ll have found your place in the world. And everyone will quiver before it.’

Aedan snatched his hands back and retreated, while the witch was still lost in her own visions. There was disbelief and awe on her face, and when she looked at Aedan, a wild grin spread across her face.

‘What do you mean by all that?’ he asked.

‘Don’t be afraid, child. You’ll live a life kings can only dream about.’

‘Here,’ Cassian said, placing the money on the table and taking the boxes. ‘A pleasure negotiating with you. Let’s go, Aedan.’

The witch watched them go in silence, but that wild smile remained glued to her face.

‘What did she mean by all that? What was she talking about?’

‘Aedan, witches are never really clear about what they think or see. Most of the time they just say random stuff to confuse you and make you dwell on their words. My advice? Don’t waste your time on it. Either way, the future will play out and you’ll know in time if she was right or not.’

He nodded, falling silent. Cassian placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping in the street. ‘Are you alright?’

‘Yes,’ he said. ‘It was just… Strange. I felt like she could see right into my soul.’

Cassian nodded, knowing what that was like. Witches were a sneaky lot with lots of hidden tricks. ‘It’s going to be fine, don’t worry. And even if she was right, would that be so bad? Who doesn’t dream about a grand future?’

Aedan attempted a smile. ‘You’re right. Can we go home now? I’ve had enough of dark magic for one day.’

‘Yes, yes, we can.’

It was an inexplicable sort of joy; to know that Aedan finally trusted him enough to call him his family. And he loved this boy, he loved him as much as he loved the twins, as much as he loved Aurora, and though they didn’t share the same blood, that didn’t make him less part of his family. To him, Aedan was his son, and he’d do anything to protect him and make sure that he had that grand future the witch was talking about. Whatever it took, Cassian wanted him to be happy.


	25. Chapter 25

‘Everybody ready? Come on, we need to get going!’

‘Dad, come help me up with my bag!’

‘It’s fine, Rheya, I got it.’

‘Thanks, Aedan. I’ll go help Rory with her shoes.’

‘Mom, did you take my coat? I can’t find it anywhere!’

‘It’s downstairs by the door, Evie, just like I said ten minutes ago!’

‘Um, can someone help? Rory doesn’t want these shoes!’

‘I don’t want to wear shoes, they’re boring! Stop, they’re too tight, let go!’

‘Rory, we need to leave, the festival is going to start in a few hours!’

‘I don’t care about the festival, I wanna stay home!’

‘But it’s going to be really fun, you’ll see!’

_‘Noooo!’_ she yelled, and that was Nesta’s cue to intervene.

Rheya seemed on the brink of yelling back, but as soon as she saw Nesta enter their bedroom, she stood up and left, probably to finish packing.

‘Alright, darling, what’s wrong?’

Nesta sat on the bed next to Aurora, running a hand through her messy brown one. She vaguely remembered braiding it for her this morning, but as always, she took it down.

‘Do we have to go?’ she asked, looking up at her with her beautiful, big eyes.

‘Why don’t you wanna go? You’re not going to be alone, everyone’s going to be there. I won’t leave you alone.’

Rory shrugged, pulling at her thick sweater. ‘I’ve never been to the Illyrian Mountains. What if it’s as scary as they say?’

‘I promise you it’s not, darling. It’s a little bit grey, true, but we’ll have fun nonetheless. Plus, we won’t be there for long, only three days.’

‘What if Aedan and the girls won’t let me play with them? They’re always playing rough and don’t let me run around with them,’ she pouted, and Nesta’s heart melted.

‘But that’s because they don’t want you to get hurt, Rory, not because they don’t want to play with you. How about I have a chat with them before we leave and make them promise that they’ll play with you as well?’

Hearing that, Aurora nodded with a little bit more enthusiasm.

‘And you know Finian and Caiden love playing with you. They always follow you around like puppies,’ she laughed, and Aurora giggled, then hugged Nesta by the waist.

‘Thank you, mommy,’ she said, and in that moment, Nesta’s brain went haywire.

_Mommy_.

Her arms went around Aurora instinctively, pulling her as close to her as possible, and she bit back a sob of joy.

_Mommy_.

This was the first time Aurora called her that. She wasn’t expecting it; the girl was old enough to know that Nesta wasn’t her biological mom, which made this moment even more special. She knew who Nesta was to her, and still chose her to be her mom.

It was one of the best moments in her life.

‘You’re welcome, my love,’ she finally replied, ignoring the few tears that ran down her cheeks.

‘Are you girls ready? We’re— what’s going on? What happened?’

Cassian watched them with a mixture of confusion and panic from the doorway, two bags in his arms. He set them down right as Aurora pulled back, grinning widely.

‘She said she’ll talk to the girls and Aedan to play with me more!’ she announced, jumping up and down, before bolting through the door. ‘Guys, guys, mom said you have to play with me as well! Did you hear me? _Aedaaaan!’_

Realising what she’d just said, Cassian’s mouth hung open. ‘Did she just call you mom?’

‘She did,’ Nesta nodded, then burst into tears.

‘Sweetheart, that’s amazing! Why are you crying? You should be happy!’

‘I am happy, you big oaf!’ she said, swatting his arm away. ‘I’m just overwhelmed. She hugged me and called me mommy. It was so damn beautiful, I think I’m going to need ten minutes to pull myself together.’

Chuckling, Cassian set down on the bed next to her, draping an arm over her shoulders. She leaned her head on his shoulder, smiling and sobbing at the same time.

‘Take all the time you need, sweetheart. It’s not like dozens of Illyrians are waiting for us, including your sisters and my brothers. But sure, we can wait a few more minutes.’

‘I hate you sometimes,’ she sniffled.

‘I’m glad you love me enough to overlook that, then.’

* * *

Winnowing with four kids was by no means easy, but they managed to do it. They all landed hand in hand, with Rhys and Feyre at each end, sharing their power to transport them all. As soon as they saw themselves on land and out of that dreadful shadow land, they all let go to gawk around them.

‘Wow,’ breathed Rheya, staring at the endless snow-capped mountains splaying in front of them.

Nesta was used enough to the view to not be taken aback by it anymore, but her children weren’t. Aedan had his usual reticent look on his face when faced with something unfamiliar, yet his curiosity didn’t stop him from taking everything in. Rory was still holding on to Cassian’s hand, swaying slightly at the sight of the imposing mountains before them, and the twins… oh, they’ve dreamed about coming here for years, begging them to take them here for at least ten minutes, but neither of them thought they were prepared to see how brutal these Illyrians could be. Now that they were here, though, Nesta wasn’t sure what their reaction would be.

It was Evie who spoke first, her voice almost a whisper: ‘I didn’t think mountains could be _this_ big.’

Cassian laughed, ruffling her hair. ‘They’re the biggest on our continent. Even the ones we have in Velaris, they’re not as big as these ones, and they’re covered in snow all year-round.’

‘Is this the camp where you two grew up?’ Rheya asked, looking at both Cassian and Rhys.

The brothers shared a look before nodding.

‘Yes,’ said Rhys. ‘All three of us grew up here. Not an ideal place for a child, though.’

‘But it did turn you into one of the best warriors,’ noted Evie.

Rhys gave Cassian an odd look. ‘Did you fill in your daughters on _how_ we were raised, exactly?’

‘Mostly,’ he shrugged. ‘Come on, let’s go see if they set up the fighting rings!’

That was enough to set the girls in motion. Along with Rhys, Cassian and Aurora, they began to make their way towards the numerous houses where the Illyrians were celebrating, while the three of them took their time following them.

‘Where is Caiden?’ Aedan asked.

‘He’s already here with Az and Elain,’ Feyre said, putting on her fur gloves. ‘He was so excited to go, he couldn’t wait anymore. They got here early in the morning to help with the preparations.’

‘Weren’t you worried to leave him here by himself?’

Feyre scoffed. ‘Terrified, but he woke up before dawn, brimming with excitement. Az stopped by before leaving to pick up some things, and Caiden insisted to go with him. Him and Elain swore they wouldn’t let him out of her sight, so we let him. He was thrilled.’

‘I don’t get it. If this place was so bad for them, why do they still want to come back?’

‘Male pride?’ suggested Feyre.

‘That, and the fact that they still hope to change things around here,’ continued Nesta. ‘And trust me, they did change. When I first came here, half of the Illyrians either hated me or were afraid of me.’

‘Because of your powers?’

‘Mostly because I’m a woman with powers,’ she chuckled. ‘But I think the males resented Feyre more. She’s the first High Lady in history, and some of them are still extremely misogynistic.’

‘Rheya told me about the wing clipping, but they forbid it a long time ago, didn’t they?’

‘Not everywhere,’ sighed Feyre. ‘Some remote camps still try to do it, but they can’t get away with it anymore. We have spies in every camp, no matter how hidden it is. They need to get it through their thick skulls that not only is it barbaric, but they’re taking away their most precious gift. Flying.’

Years later and Nesta still couldn’t get accustomed to the sight of those small houses and booming voices. Crowds formed as they saw their High Lord and Commander approaching, some raising their arms in excitement, others murmuring to themselves. For once in their lives, the girls did what they were told to do — stick to their family. They were walking between Rhys and Cass, who kept their distance minimal, just in case things went south. No one in their right mind would threaten their children, but you never knew who had a death wish.

They stopped before the crowd, waiting for the three of them. Aedan was fiddling with his gloves, barely looking up from the ground, and Nesta put a hand on his shoulder.

‘Nervous?’

Aedan nodded. ‘That’s a big crowd.’

‘I know. I hate it as well. We’ll just stop long enough for them to say something, and then we can leave. They won’t trail us for too long, don’t worry.’

As soon as they got there, Aedan went to sit behind Aurora, his hands on her shoulders. She looked absolutely adorable in her white coat and fur-lined hat. Her scarf was too long, though, and she kept tripping on it. The girls were staring at the mass of Illyrians — they’ve never seen so many of them before, and they were starstruck. Feyre went to sit next to Rhys, who already had his arrogant High Lord mask on, a suave smile on his face. Nesta looked disinterested as she stopped next to her mate, who was the opposite of her; barely containing his excitement to get into that ring and smash some bones.

‘Took you a while to get here,’ a familiar voice rasped. ‘Your shadow spy got here bright and early, along with your son. It’s good to know that at least the future High Lord has a sense of punctuality.’

Lord Devlon appeared at the top of the mass, taking them all in with a bored look, though blinked in confusion at the sight of all the children.

‘My, I wasn’t expecting this many of you.’

‘Hello to you too, lord Devlon,’ Rhys said. ‘I’m glad to know you missed our presence here.’

‘High Lord, High Lady,’ he nodded curtly. ‘Commander, Demon-Witch, always a pleasure. And these young lads?’

‘These are our children,’ Cassian said, brimming with pride. ‘Aiden, Evanora, Rheya, and our youngest, Aurora. I’m certain you’ll make sure their stay here is pleasant and won’t involve any unpleasant surprises.’

‘Lord Devlon is the most reasonable war lord there is,’ said Feyre. ‘And smart enough to know that it’s best to be on our good side.’

Devlon gave her a crooked smile. ‘How wise you’ve become, High Lady. You look as radiant as ever. As for your sister…’

He stopped a few feet from Nesta, who tried her hardest not to grin. Once, this male looked at her with disdain, as if she was nothing. Now, he recognised not only her position, but her power, and knew that despite his centuries of battles, Nesta could still wipe him out if she wished to.

‘Nesta Archeron,’ he nodded. ‘Well met, witch. Are you here to fight as well?’

‘I don’t fight unless there’s something to win, so I’ll sit this one out, thank you.’

‘Pity. Would’ve been an interesting fight.’

‘Are you challenging my mate, Devlon?’ Cassian asked, obviously amused. ‘Because it won’t end well. She’s a skilled fighter.’

‘I’m sure she is, with all those magic tricks of hers,’ he mumbled.

‘Magic tricks or not, she could still turn you into ash,’ said Evie.

That took him by surprise. He glanced down at Evie, who didn’t bat an eyelash at the sight of a full-grown Illyrian warrior, even older than Cassian.

‘My worst nightmare, a combination of the two Fae I dislike the most,’ he sighed. ‘Aren’t you the splitting image of your father. I assume he taught you how to fight as well?’

‘Of course. I’m going to be the best warrior in the world one day.’

Devlon’s lips quirked just a tiny bit before glancing at Cassian. ‘And you sound like your father as well. Great. Come on then, let us begin the festivities! We have a long day ahead of us!’

The crowd erupted into cheers as Lord Devlon walked them to the tables piled high with food and drink. It was a merry atmosphere; loud music, laughter all around, fights around every corner. Nesta knew it was only a matter of time before the girls demanded to go see the fighting rings, and she hoped nothing too brutal would happen.

* * *

Once the fighting began, Cassian lost sense of all time and space. There was only him and his opponent; which turned out to be less skilled than he expected. Devlon’s camp was one of the best out there — after all, he trained them himself. Still, these young lads that were trying their best to put him down didn’t have his history of battles. One after another, they fell down, and Cassian relished in the cheers of the crowd, the sound of bones snapping, the spilled blood and growls of fury. His favourite part of a fight was after he’d landed a few punches, his opponent would struggle to stand upright, then glare at him with undiluted hatred and anger. _That_ , if they were brave enough to get up anymore. Some wouldn’t bother to and yielded.

‘I’ll kill you!’ Shouted Loras, his opponent. ‘I’ll break both your arms and legs!’

The crowd shouted their support of his threat, full-grown Illyrians yelling encouraging words at him from the sidelines. Cassian took his time analysing them, their shirtless, branded chests, their flared wings and arms splattered with mud and blood. They loved this festival more than anything else — but then again, Illyrians loved any excuses to fight and not get in any trouble.

Cassian chuckled, cracking his fingers. There was no weapons allowed during these fights; only your hands and wits.

‘Do you have any idea how many idiots said that to me in the past? And guess how many of them lived up to their promise.’

Loras charged at him with a battlecry, eyes red with fury. Cassian barely made a move, standing his ground and ready to dodge his very obvious punch. Right as he raised his arm and made to hit him, Cassian ducked and punched him in the stomach, knocking the air out of him. He gasped and almost fell on top of him, but Cassian, now lying on his back, hit him again with his foot, sending him sprawling on the ground.

‘Fucking bastard!’ He yelled, spitting blood on the floor.

He stood up, running a hand through his wet hair. ‘Is that all you can do?’ He asked, then looked at the crowd. ‘Is that all everyone can do? Come on, give me a real fighter! Send me someone who is worthy of my time!’

They shouted and cheered him as Loras was dragged out of the ring. Cassian was in a trance; oh, how he loved this feeling. His people screaming out in joy, swords clanking against the ground or their shields. The brittle cold didn’t even bother him anymore — his blood was boiling, and he ached for more fighting. He wanted so much more.

‘Ask and you shall receive,’ a velvet voice said.

Cassian’s smile faltered just a little bit. He whipped his head towards the other end of the rink, where the crowd parted to let a familiar face walk through. Some glared, some cheered even louder, some gasped with recognition. Whispers erupted like wildfire as his contestant bent to enter the ring through the ropes, some leering at the slow, precise movements. Cassian wiped his bloody hands on his pants, then faced the woman he loved more than life itself.

‘This is mostly for Illyrian fights, you know. For someone who still considers us barbaric, you’re fast to jump in the fray.’

Dressed in a tight black top and leather pants that hugged her delicious curves, Nesta looked more intimidating than ever. Her hair swayed in a long ponytail as she took a few steps towards him, then rested her palms on her hips.

‘You think I would’ve passed up the opportunity of kicking your ass in front of everyone?’

Cassian smirked, shaking his head. ‘You don’t want to do this, love. What will the kids think?’

As he taught her himself, Nesta began circling him, eyeing him up and down. ‘Eve and Aiden are watching from the crowd, and they were both beaming when I told them that I’d come up here. Rheya and Rory are with my sister, feeding the horses. They hated the noise.’

‘So you thought it’d be a good idea for me to best you in front of them?’

Her smile turned vicious as she stopped in her tracks.

‘Best me? Darling, you’ve said it yourself, I’m not an Illyrian, which means I won’t play by your rules.’

Right as those words left her mouth, her fingertips began turning black. The ground under his feet began swaying as his siphons flared bright red. Finally — a worthy opponent.

And he’d be damned if he let her win.

‘Bring it on, sweetheart.’

* * *

That fight ended tragically.

Tragically for Nesta, because Cassian did manage to kick her ass into oblivion. Her powers begged her not to pull back, but she couldn’t physically bring herself to hurt the man she loved most in the world, so it wasn’t exactly a fair fight on her part. Cassian did the same — instead of breaking and smashing, they resorted to grappling, twisting, throwing and using each other’s strength and momentum against each other. Both her wrists were sore afterwards as he made sure to press on her nerve centres hard enough to hurt like a bitch, but not enough to sprain them. She managed to split his lip and bring him to his knees a couple of times, angering him when she almost popped his shoulder out of its socket.

The fight took around twenty minutes, with Illyrians chanting their names from the sides. There were so many of them — not many mates were willing to get into that ring and fight each other, but the two of them had enough experience to know how to manage themselves. Cassian loved to coax the anger out of her, and Nesta was more than willing to practice her magic on someone who understood it, probably even better than himself.

‘Technically you would’ve lost anyway, magic isn’t allowed during these fights,’ Cassian said, icing her wrist. ‘But you still put on a hell of a show. And I know you let me win.’

They were alone in what was once his family’s home; they remodelled it, made it big enough to fit their numerous family, and were now resting in their bedroom. Cassian’s face was still bloody and his chest glistened with sweat, but that murderous look from his eyes perished.

‘I did not.’

‘You obviously did. You think I don’t know your moves by now, and what you’re capable of?’ He chuckled, moving the ice pack to her other wrist. ‘You can’t beat me with just your fists, but I know how strong your magic is, and you would’ve been able to put me down in less than ten minutes if you wanted. But you let me win.’

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about,’ she smiled, knowing exactly what he meant. ‘You beat me fair and square.’

He traced her jaw, then tucked a few strands of her hair behind her ear. ‘Thank you, but I’d rather you not hold back next time we fight. I don’t care what these people think.’

‘I just didn’t want to ruin your winning streak,’ she shrugged, shifting on the bed. ‘You were definitely on a roll. You should’ve seen Eve and Aedan, they were cheering you on so bad from the crowd. At one point, Az picked her up on his shoulders so she could see the fights better, and she loved it. I think she idolises you now.’

‘Music to my years,’ he sighed, obvious pride on his face. ‘I’m surprised she didn’t try to come up there herself.’

‘Oh, she did, but Aedan held her back. I’m still surprised by how much sway he has on her.’

‘Finally a balance. But before we go back out there, how about we take a shower? We both reek of blood.’

His fingers traced her thigh, working its way higher as her breath shuddered. Before Nesta had a chance to reply, the door was blown open and Aurora ran inside as fast as she could.

‘I heard you got into a big fight!’ She yelled as she flung herself on both of them, making them wince. ‘Why did you fight? What happened?’

‘Oh, Rory, we didn’t actually fight,’ Cassian laughed, seating her on his knees. ‘We’re both alright. It was just for fun.’

Rory’s nose crinkled. ‘For fun?’

‘I know, I still find it hard to believe that some people do that,’ Nesta said.

Cassian kissed the top of her head, holding her close. ‘It was nothing serious, don’t worry.’

‘Then why are you covered in blood?’ She asked, pointing at his face and body. ‘And why is mommy’s arm bruised? Are you two no longer mates? Were Aedan and Eve serious when they said you were mad at each other and fought really badly?’

As tears formed into her eyes, realisation kicked the both of them, their smiles vanishing instantly.

‘No, no, of course not!’ Cassian said.

‘Darling, they were probably just pranking you, we didn’t have a fight, I promise! We talked about how much Illyrians love practicing fighting, didn’t we? Just like the twins do back home.’

She nodded, tears spilling down her cheeks. Cassian wiped her face as she leaned on him, not caring a bit about the blood.

‘This is just the same, though it’s more for… grown ups. It’s a tradition, but it’s not for everybody. We sometimes fight like that because we want to stay in shape.’

‘And we’re still mates,’ Cassian continued. ‘We’ll always be mates. I’ll have a word with your brother and sister and make sure they won’t prank you like that again.’

‘That was mean of them,’ she sniffled. ‘I’ll get them back for it.’

Nesta couldn’t help but laugh. ‘They do deserve it.’

‘Just don’t make it painful,’ Cassian said, though it definitely wasn’t necessary with Rory. Out of all their children, she had the gentlest soul.

‘Promise you won’t fight?’ She asked, looking at them both with wide, hopeful eyes.

‘We promise,’ Cassian said. ‘We love each other, and we also love you a lot. No one’s going to fight.’

Rory nodded, then flung one of her arms around Cassian’s neck, and the other around Nesta’s, bringing them together for a hug. ‘You’re the best mommy and daddy in the world.’

Cassian’s breath hitched the second Rory called him dad, and Nesta saw the look of pure awe and shock on his face, especially when she pulled back and gave them a huge, toothy smile.

‘I’ll go play with Cay, at least he’s not a liar. Bye bye!’ She waved them goodbye, then ran out of their room, heading downstairs.

Nesta nudged Cassian, who was still staring at the door, his mouth hanging open. ‘Shocked?’

‘She called me dad,’ he managed to say, turning his attention back to her. ‘You heard her, right? She called me daddy!’

‘Of course she did, she adores you. I swear she’s obsessed with you.’

‘And she said we’re the best parents in the world!’

‘ _That_ also took me by surprise,’ Nesta chuckled.

Cassian sat back on their bed, staring at the ceiling. ‘I can’t believe this just happened. Holy fucking hell.’

‘My money was actually on you,’ she admitted. ‘I was certain she’d call you dad first. It still happened on the same day she called me mom, so I guess we’re in a tie.’

‘One down, one more to go,’ he winked. ‘Speaking of which, do you want to scold them or should I?’

‘You do it, I’m too tired for that. I need a shower.’

‘What a coincidence,’ he gasped, standing back up. ‘So do I!’

Nesta laughed as Cassian gently took her hand in his, pulling her towards the bathroom, where he made sure to make up for those sore wrists, and she definitely made up for his split lip.


	26. Chapter 26

Cassian found the twins and Aedan in the living room, staring out the window at the Illyrians who were still fighting and shouting as if they were delirious. It was well past sundown and the bonfires and feasts would begin in an hour or two, but it was hard to stop fighting once you were in that state of mind. The only reason he stopped was because of Nesta.

He cleared his throat, getting their attention. Evie gasped as soon as she saw him, jumping down the couch and running up to him. ‘I saw you fighting mom and all those Illyrians, you were incredible!’

Cassian caught her right as she jumped into his arms, ignoring the pain in his side from one of Nesta’s blows. He kissed the top of her head and listened to her babble about how everyone else fought and how much she wished she could’ve fought, too.

‘I can’t wait to grow up and get into one of those rings myself,’ she sighed. ‘It was beautiful.’

‘I can’t wait to see you get your ass kicked,’ Rheya observed, still staring out the window. ‘This place is more violent than I thought.’

‘Don’t tell me you expected something else,’ Aedan said.

‘I will train hard enough so that no one can have the honour of kicking my ass!’ Eve announced, and Cassian set her down.

‘Before you do that, we need to have a talk. Why did you two lie to Rory about me and your mom fighting? She came to our room crying about it.’

‘Oh shit,’ Aedan murmured. ‘I didn’t think she’d actually buy it.’

‘We didn’t mean to make her cry,’ Evie explained. ‘But she asked why you two fought and we just went along with it.’

‘Is she okay?’ Rheya asked, finally looking at them. ‘I saw her a few minutes ago with Caiden, they’re playing in the library, I think.’

‘She’s fine, I checked in on her a minute ago. But what you said to her was kind of shitty, don’t you think?’

‘I’ll go talk to her now,’ Aedan announced, and Cassian didn’t miss the look of guilt on his face.

The girls watched him leave in silence, Evie biting her lip. ‘I didn’t think she’d actually believe us. I’m sorry.’

‘Well, I’m not the one you should apologise to,’ he said, gesturing towards the library. ‘Go and say you’re sorry.’

Evie left without another word, which was terribly unusual of her. She loved having the last say in every argument.

‘Why did you two fight, anyway?’ Rheya asked, squinting her eyes at him. ‘Show of power?’

Cassian sat on one of the couches, looking at the living room in which he grew up into. Even though everything had been refurbished, he had a clear memory of spending a lot of time here with Rhysand’s mom, who taught him how to read and write, and sitting next to the very window where Rheya was standing right now when she scolded them for getting into petty fights and breaking each other’s noses. Oh, how he wished she was still alive, just to see how far all of them came. To meet their children and teach them the same values she taught them centuries ago.

‘I think your mom needed to let out some steam,’ he finally said. ‘It was a very good fight, though. She can certainly hold her own.’

‘Didn’t she use magic as well?’

‘Yes, but she’s not Illyrian, so I can’t blame her for that,’ he shrugged. ‘Plus, in a real fight, your opponent won’t care about your heritage, so you might as well use everything in your arsenal.’

‘That’s not what you taught us during training.’

‘Because when we’re training I’m not your dad.’

‘Isn’t parenting a full time thing?’

‘We’re allowed to have a break here and there.’

Rheya huffed in amusement before staring out the window again. If Evie took after him, Rheya was the splitting image of her mother, with her fair hair and small, button nose. They were both tall, the same height as Aedan, and it baffled him every time he looked at them — when did they grow up so much?

‘The women here still have their wings.’

‘They no longer clip their wings here, and they train the girls and women who want to learn how to fight. By far, this is one of the least problematic camps we have.’

‘That’s why you brought us to this one? So we won’t see the really bad ones?’

Cassian sighed, rubbing his temples. ‘You can’t really blame me for not wanting you guys to see how those Illyrians act, especially around females. I know you know everything there is to know about them, but it’s different seeing it firsthand. It’s way too brutal for you.’

Rheya’s mind was a wonder to him. Evie was extremely smart as well, and Aedan learned everything on his feet and caught up quickly to everything, yet Rheya was more analytical, took everything under consideration before acting upon something. Her sense of observation was baffling for someone her age, and sometimes he had to remind himself that he was still talking to a ten years old kid, just in case something slipped out — even though she had her ways of making others talk without them realising it.

‘They’re all so violent here. I don’t think I would’ve been the same person I am now if I grew up here.’

‘Yes, well, it’s not exactly a favourable place for a child to grow up.’

‘You turned out well enough.’

Cassian couldn’t help but grin. ‘I’ve had a support system.’

‘Uncle Rhys’s mom?’

‘Yes. And Rhys and Azriel as well. We had each other growing up, and if it weren’t for them, I don’t think I would’ve been the same person I am now either. Before them I didn’t really know compassion or love, which is why I’m grateful I no longer live here.’

‘Would you ever be able to live here again?’

‘No,’ he admitted. ‘I’ve seen too much of the world to come back here again. Plus, nothing compares to the restaurants we have in Velaris, and I’m way too spoiled to eat the shit they cook here.’

Rheya laughed, sitting down on the couch opposite him, dangling her feet. ‘Will you take us to the Human Realms one day?’

‘I’m not sure Nesta would like that very much.’

‘Why not?’

‘You know why,’ he rolled his eyes. ‘Some of them still fear the Fae. They think we’re evil and are after their souls or babies, as if we don’t have our own. And they’re more narrow minded than you think.’

‘Mom, auntie Fey and auntie Elain aren’t narrow minded,’ she frowned. ‘Or are they a special case?’

‘They most definitely are a special case,’ he laughed. ‘But your mom and Elain were still wary of us at first. Feyre was the only one more accepting of our kind.’

‘Until the High Lords turned her,’ she remembered, and Cassian nodded. ‘What did you think of her when you met her?’

Cassian pondered on that question for a moment. ‘She was… different than how she is now. You know the story about what happened Under the Mountain, right?’

Rheya nodded, crossing her legs under her. ‘They taught us in school.’

‘After those blasted trials and the death of Amarantha, Feyre was in a bad place. Physically, she was in the Spring Court, which was hell enough, but mentally? She was a mess. I remember that when I saw her for the first time, she looked like a ghost. She tried to look alive, tried talking to us, but there was so little life left in her, I was actually scared she wouldn’t make it. I saw it in Rhys too, how he tried to bring her out of that dark place every day, but it was difficult. Being Turned, seeing all those Fae die, going through all of those trials… No one should have to go through something like that, especially a young human girl with little ways of defending herself. Still, she made it. She had reasons to keep going.’

‘What reasons?’

‘Your mom and Elain. Despite their differences and how much they fought, Feyre loves them deeply. They fought together in the War.’

‘Is it true that the king of Hybern was about to kill you when mom shielded you with her body?’

Cassian smiled at that bittersweet memory. Back then, he was certain that it was their last moment together, when he kissed her for the first time and swore that he’d find her in their next life, no matter what.

‘Yes. That’s when I realised that I was in love with her.’

‘And then auntie Elain killed him.’

‘She did. It was a beautiful sight.’

‘I never would’ve thought she was capable of killing someone,’ she said, cocking her head. ‘She’s such a gentle person.’

‘War brings out the worst in us,’ a familiar voice said. ‘But some have happy endings. That one certainly had a happy ending.’

Rhys came in the living room in clean clothes, though his bruised knuckles were a sore sight to see. His hair was damp after his shower and looked weary, but still had a soft smile on his face as he sat next to Rheya, ruffling her hair.

‘Why are you reminiscing about the War? Shouldn’t you be out, celebrating?’

‘Shouldn’t _you_ be out, since you’re the High Lord?’ Rheya asked, fixing her hair back.

‘Cauldron knows how many Illyrians I’ve fought, I deserve a little break. Feyre’s out there, so that should be enough. I’m tired of playing pretend.’

‘Who did you fight?’ Cassian asked.

Rhys shrugged, massaging his neck. ‘A bunch of cocky idiots. They barely landed a punch or two. You? How was your fight with Nesta? You had quite a crowd.’

‘I beat her, but she let me win.’

‘Did she use her magic?’

‘If she hadn’t, I would’ve beaten her faster.’

Tired of the subject already, Rheya pulled Rhys by his arm. ‘During aunt Fey’s trials Under the Mountains, you betted on her, right? Why? Did you know she was your mate back then?’

‘Rheya,’ Cassian tried to warn her, but Rhys batted him off with a hand.

‘It’s fine,’ he said, leaning back on the couch, wincing slightly at an invisible wound. Probably some bruised ribs. ‘I didn’t exactly know she was my mate, but I had this feeling in my gut, that she would change everything. And turns out that I was right, as always,’ he grinned.

‘Did you like my mom when you first met her?’

His smile turned into an anxious one as he shot Cassian a desperate look. Oh, this was definitely going to be fun.

‘Well… we had our differences when we first met, but I’ve grown to like her over time.’

‘So you didn’t like her.’

‘I didn’t _not_ like her, but she wasn’t the biggest fan of Fae, and it was a long time ago, anyway. It’s not like your dad got along with her either!’

Cassian shook his head, disappointed. ‘Really? Avoiding questions by throwing the blame at me? Shitty move, brother.’

‘I knew they didn’t get along at first. To be honest, I’m surprised they somehow managed to fall in love with each other. They’re an unlikely pair.’

Rhys nodded solemnly. ‘That had been our reaction as well when we find out, trust me. We thought it was one of Cassian’s pranks and somehow managed to persuade Nesta into plotting with him.’

Cassian couldn’t help but gape at his daughter and brother. ‘Why would you say that? We get along just fine!’

‘You just fought each other in front of the camp and act like it’s normal,’ said Rheya.

‘It isn’t?’

‘And you argue about silly things all the time,’ she continued, then turned her attention towards Rhys. ‘Last night they argued about who ate mom’s last rice cookies, and no one else likes them besides him.’

‘I didn’t even touch them!’

‘Oh, I know. Evie took them away just because she was bored and wanted to see something entertaining. You certainly delivered.’

‘That little minx, she’ll pay for it during training. Evie, where are you?!’

‘Evie, he found out!’ Rheya yelled as Rhys started laughing, and he heard his daughter yell _‘oh, fuck’_ before going into hiding.

These children were going to be the end of him one day.

* * *

The night celebrations proved to be more entertaining for the children. There was dancing, singing, huge bonfires and feasts to feed an entire army. Nesta kept to herself at one of the tables with Feyre, while their mates were celebrating with their fellow Illyrians. Cassian had Evie in his arms while she showed off to a group of young Illyrians, while Rhys did the same with his son. Rory was sound asleep with her head on Nesta’s lap, while Rheya and Aedan were sitting together near the closest bonfire, whispering to each other and giggling.

‘Look at them, they look so happy,’ Feyre said, letting out a sigh. ‘The difference a couple of months can make.’

Nesta knew exactly what her sister was talking about. ‘He did come out of his shell, especially with the girls. He truly cares about them.’

‘He cares about you too, silly. And Cassian. He thinks of you as his parents, even though he hasn’t called you mom or dad yet.’

‘Wanna know something? This one here just did,’ she whispered, grinning from ear to ear.

Feyre’s gasp was priceless. ‘When? Today?’

‘Yes. She called Cassian dad a couple of hours ago, and you should’ve seen the look on his face. It was absolutely priceless.’

Feyre clasped her hands together, slowly shaking her head. ‘Nesta, I’m so happy, you have no idea. Gods, you two are amazing parents. You brought two incredible girls into this world and met two other incredible kids on the way. You almost make parenting look easy.’

‘Fuck, no. You know how many times they vomited and pissed on me. It’s definitely not easy.’

Before Feyre could say anything, Nesta heard Rheya’s sharp voice.

_‘Leave him alone!’_

‘Rheya, it’s fine, they didn’t—‘

‘No, he’s my brother, you can’t talk to him like that! Leave us or I’ll freeze your brains inside your skulls!’

Nesta was on her feet in a second, moving Aurora to sit on Feyre’s lap instead. Two Illyrians were sitting a few feet away from her kids, drinks in hands and daggers at their waists. Her heart was thumping in her chest as she basically winnowed there.

‘What the hell is going on?’ She asked, eyeing her children from head to toe, making sure that they were alright. ‘What do you want?’

The males were obviously drunk, but one of them had a mean sneer on his face, especially when he looked at Aedan. He didn’t say anything, but the distaste in his eyes was very obvious.

‘That little shit has a lot of nerve, talking back to Illyrian warriors like myself. Who even allowed him to be here? He doesn’t belong in this camp!’

His counterpart didn’t say anything, though he laughed, swaying slightly on his feet. Rheya had her hands balled in fists, while Aedan quirked an eyebrow.

‘I didn’t talk back. You asked me a question, and I answered. Is that not how it works?’

‘You fucking little—‘

As soon as the male took a step towards Aedan, Nesta’s wrist flicked on its own accord, sending him back until he hit the trunk of a tree. He fell to the ground, growling viciously.

‘Aedan, what did he ask you?’ Nesta asked as calmly as she could, ignoring her desire to disembowel the man.

Aedan refused to meet her stare, looking downwards. ‘Nothing important, don’t worry. It’s fine.’

She could see the male trying to stand up and reach for his dagger, but Nesta kept him in place. His friend went to help him up.

‘Aedan.’

‘He asked him from what gutters you and dad dug him out of,’ Rheya answered, cringing at her own words. ‘And if he thinks himself worthy of being in such a place.’

Silence, deafening and eerie, settled over Nesta’s mind. Rheya took Aedan’s hand in hers, and he squeezed it back tightly.

‘You damned bitch, you’re going to pay for picking a fight with me!’ The male sneered, now back on his own two feet. ‘This is my territory. You think women like you have rights here?’ He barked out a laugh, and it was chilling. ‘You don’t. You don’t rule this place. And that one,’ he pointed to Aedan, ‘has no right to belong here. He isn’t one of us.’

‘He is _my child,’_ Nesta sneered, fingers tingling with dark magic. ‘He belongs wherever I see fit. And if I were you, I’d back off now before you find yourself strangled with your own intestines.’

Nesta was painfully aware of her children watching, but she couldn’t stop herself. The others were too busy celebrating, the music was too loud, so there was no way someone would intervene now, which was bad — bad for the male, because she was seconds away from murdering him.

‘Really? How about I do that to you?’ He laughed, taking a step closer. ‘Your kids can watch. Then I’ll take care of the boy, and then your daughter. She looks old enough for her wings to be clipped.’

As soon as she heard Rheya’s sharp intake of breath and how Aedan pulled her back behind him, Nesta lost it.

He was a dead man walking.

* * *

It was difficult for Feyre to make her way through the crowd with a sleepy, almost weeping child. Her niece was secure in her arms, clinging to her neck, but she was confused and kept asking where her mommy and daddy where.

‘It’s fine, my love, we’re going to get them now, okay?’ She said, pressing a kiss to her temple, hoping to soothe her.

This was bad. This was _really bad._

She had enough time to glance back to take a good look of Nesta’s face and know that the situation was close to escalating. Those fucking idiots were playing with fire, and Nesta was still somehow holding back. She knew she didn’t want to cause a scene in front of the kids, but Feyre understood. By now, those men would’ve been dead if she was in her place.

‘Where are they, where are they…’

_Where are you?_ She sent down the bond, using it as a guide to her mate.

The answer came a second later. _From the looks of it, to your right. Turn around, darling._

There — there they were. Rhys was watching her with a bemused grin, while Cassian and Elain were arguing about something. Caiden was perched on a table next to Evie, laughing.

As soon as Rhys saw Feyre’s expression, he knew something was wrong.

‘What happened?’ He asked as soon as she approached them.

‘Cassian. It’s Nesta.’

Those simple words managed to freeze Cassian in his tracks. ‘What happened? Where is she? Where are the kids?’

He took one look at Aurora, who was playing with her braid, then scanned the crowd.

‘ _Feyre,’_ he pressed.

‘Two men were threatening Aedan and Evie. I think she’s going to—‘

‘Elain, keep an eye on Evie please,’ he said before departing.

Feyre sighed, running a hand up and down Rory’s back, knowing it would not bring the comfort she sought from her parents. ‘It’s fine, Rory, your mommy and daddy will be back in a second.’

‘What the hell is happening?’ Evie asked, jumping down from the table. ‘What do you mean, threatened Rheya and Aedan? Where are they?’

Before she could run after her father, Rhys caught her by the arm, pulling her back.

‘Stay here, Eve. You can’t go there now.’

‘Why not? They’re my siblings, I _need_ to be there!’

Rhys gave Feyre a panicked look before crouching in front of his niece, trying hard to put on a brave face. Feyre knew he’d rather be with his brother right now, helping him, but he needed him here.

‘You need to stay here because we don’t know what’s going on, and we don’t want you to be in any sort of danger.’

Evie made another attempt of pulling away, but Rhys held her in place. Her wings unfurled, and for a second, Feyre’s heart stopped beating.

She knew Evie was reckless when she got angry, but they couldn’t lose sight of her. They needed her to stay _here_.

‘I want to go there. I need to go, _let me go!’_

She yelled and squirmed, but Rhys didn’t let go of her. Tears streamed down her face while her wings batted furiously, and Feyre took a step back, shielding Aurora from the sight of her sister absolutely losing it.

‘She does this a lot,’ Rory whispered. ‘It calms her down if you hug her or scream at her. It gets her attention.’

Rory didn’t seem at all fazed by Evie’s behaviour. Just how normal was this?

‘Evie, it’s not that bad, I promise!’ Feyre tried to help. ‘They have it under control!’

She flashed Feyre a bitter look. ‘Then why the hell are you all standing here? Go there!’

Azriel came as soon as he saw the commotion. Elain whispered something in his ear, took one look at Evie, and vanished. Rhys was still holding on to her.

_‘Listen to me,’_ he almost shouted at her. ‘You can’t go there because like it or not, you may get in the way. It’s enough for your mom and dad that Rheya and Aedan are there, witnessing all that, and they don’t need to worry about you too. Trust me, Eve, they can both handle whatever the hell is going on. Azriel just went there in case they need help, but I can tell you that they don’t.’

Her struggling stopped, and Rhys let out a shaky breath. He never, ever shouted at any of the children, no matter how much they got on his nerves. But it seemed like he figured out how Evie would calm down faster, though he didn’t look happy about it.

‘I’m sorry for shouting at you,’ he said, holding her small hands in his. ‘I didn’t mean to. But you have to stay here, okay?’

She gave him a tiny nod, sniffling loudly. Her face was streaked with tears.

Caiden got down from the table he was sitting on and hugged his cousin sideways. Rhys let go of her hands as she hugged Caiden back, and the sight nearly tore her soul in two.

‘They’re fine, Eve,’ she heard Caiden whisper. ‘They’re all fine.’

She really hoped they were, because if Evie got it into her head to leave again, Feyre wasn’t sure they could stop her without tying her to a tree.


	27. Chapter 27

Blind, undiluted fury and sparks of fear shot through Cassian as he took in the sight of her mate standing in front of their two children, dark tendrils coiling around her fingers as she gritted her teeth. He knew instantly that she debated whether she should just obliterate them there, on the spot, but something held her back — or, better said, they had witnesses. Young witnesses, at that, and they were both too young to see something that would mark them forever.

‘I was planning on letting you go, but after you just threatened my daughter with something as brutal as wing clipping, you should know there’s no way this is going to end nicely for you.’

The words were like a violent blow to Cassian’s gut.

_Wing clipping._

Dark, unwelcome images from his childhood flashed before his eyes — young women and girls being held down, screaming and begging while men bigger than them mutilated them. Their terror and panic were so horrific that Cassian would usually hide behind a tree and vomit his guts out, feeling an acute sense of worthlessness. He knew he couldn’t have helped them back then, but things were different now; and he’d rather _die_ than even hear a man threaten his own daughter with the same barbaric procedure.

No one was touching his daughter.

‘Mom, maybe we shouldn’t…’

‘You think you can kill me, _witch?’_ The man, an Illyrian he recognised instantly, laughed boldly. His name was Eldar, and the other one sitting next to him, twirling his dagger between his fingers, was Arkin.

Rheya flinched when Eldar took another step closer and Aedan gripped her arm tighter. That was it.

‘What the fuck do you two think you’re doing?’ He tried hard not to shout, but the words were laced with obvious anger. ‘Are you threatening my children? Do you have a death wish?’

Nesta faltered for a second, and he saw how those dark vapours turned a lighter colour at the sight of him, but shifted back to pitch black almost instantly. He was next to her in a second, surveying the kids from head to toe.

‘Dad, we didn’t do anything—‘

His chest constricted violently. ‘I know you didn’t, darling,’ he reassured his daughter, whose eyes were wide with panic. ‘Aedan, are you okay?’

He nodded, trying to appear brave for his sake and his sister’s, but there was no mistake that he was also scared. Oh, Cassian wasn’t going to forgive them for scaring his kids like this.

‘And here he comes,’ Eldar boomed, raising his arms to the darkened sky. ‘The great, mighty Commander, the hotshot in Velaris. You came to this witch’s help like a yapping dog.’

‘Cassian,’ Nesta said between gritted teeth, her whole body shaking.

‘Not like this,’ he whispered. ‘Not with them.’

‘Don’t tell me you’re afraid of those offsprings seeing a little blood,’ Arkin cooed. ‘Oh, look, company!’

A small group of Illyrians joined them. All nine of them were — go figure — males, their hands near their weapons and a certainty in their eyes that indicated what they had planned for the evening.

Cassian frowned, taking their faces in. ‘You are not from this camp.’

One of them, a big, burly man, crossed his arms across his chest. ‘No, we’re not. We are from a remote camp in the Mountains, where we still respect traditions, and we came here tonight to pay you a little visit.’

Ah, so that was it. He knew instantly what they were talking about.

A few weeks ago, Cassian and Azriel got wind of a smaller, seemingly insignificant camp going rogue and killing a bunch of women and youth for attempting to claim their rights. Not only were they grossly tortured, but once he and Azriel got there, they pretended that the rotting corpses in the middle of the forest were no big deal.

Of course they obliterated that camp, killed most of those who were at fault for their crime and sent the surviving victims to different camps.

He guessed this was payback.

‘My family included? How nice of you.’

‘You made our families suffer by what you did back there, so we plan on making yours suffer,’ another one leered, drawing his weapon.

His Siphons thrummed with power that threatened to spill any second now, but he held back, just like Nesta was obviously trying to do.

‘What did you do now?’ She whispered, looking positively murderous.

‘Nothing that they didn’t deserve,’ he whispered back, and took another look at Rheya and Aedan. He opened his mouth to tell them to go find their aunts and uncles, but realised how stupid that was. There was a high chance that one of them would go after them.

That left him with no choice.

‘Evie is crying,’ Nesta said, her tone almost broken. ‘I can hear her. She’s scared of what’s going on.’

Panic surged through him. He knew Rhys and Feyre wouldn’t let her nor Rory get close, but he still worried.

He had no choice. He had to get rid of them before things got out of hand, then deal with the consequences later.

‘Nesta, take them away. I can handle this.’

Her head whipped towards him immediately. ‘You’re out of your mind if you think I’m leaving. They threatened my children, and they’ll pay for it.’

Nesta’s eyes were wholly black. This was it — the darkest face of the powers she stole from the Cauldron. Cassian rarely saw them, and only in the direst circumstances, but he knew that once she unleashed them, there was no turning back.

‘That’s it, I’m getting bored,’ Eldar yawned, then took out his dagger and aimed it at them. ‘Which kid should I aim for first? I say the boy, since he’s blocking the girl.’

Cassian was faster than Nesta.

He got to him at inhumane speed, forgetting who was watching, forgetting that he wasn’t supposed to let his kids see him like this. The most primitive, bloodthirsty part of him claimed his mind, and as he dodged Eldar’s dagger and gripped him from behind, he let his instincts guide him.

Eldar had no chance, really, not when he was like this. He struggled for only a second before Cassian twisted his neck with so much brute force, that he was surprised it didn’t fall off. He heard the sickening crunch of bones as they severed from his spine, and he went weak in his arms.

Cassian vaguely heard the gasps from his children’s mouth, but he wouldn’t be able to stop. These were Illyrians, yes, but they were not his family. And they were all about to die.

Before he could get to the next one, Azriel appeared out of thin air, sharp eyes assessing the situation. He took one look at Cassian, at the body slumped at his feet, and his jaw set tight.

‘Get Rheya and Aedan out of here,’ he managed to say. ‘Take them away and _don’t let them out of your sight.’_

He knew better than to argue when he was like this, so he winnowed next to the kids, grabbed both their hands before they could object, and vanished.

‘Finally,’ Nesta said, just as the Illyrians drew their weapons. ‘You’re all dead meat.’

For this, Cassian would need no weapon. He wanted to kill them with his bare hands, feel their blood and guts through his fingertips and revel in their cries of agony.

No one, no one came for his family. Not his mate and especially not his children, who were too young to be able to fend for themselves.

He went off at the same time as Nesta.

* * *

Feyre pushed a mug of hot tea into Rory’s hands, brushing her hair out of her face. Caiden was sitting next to her, trying to distract her, since he failed miserably with his other cousin, who was now pacing a hole in the ground.

‘Should I try to talk to her again?’ He asked, not taking his eyes off of Evie. ‘I’ve never seen her like this. Are uncle Cass and aunt Nesta alright?’

Sighing, Feyre sat down in the empty armchair. ‘I have no doubt that they’re alright, but I’m also worried.’

‘You shouldn’t talk to her,’ said Rory, answering his other question. ‘Unless you want her to roundhouse kick you.’

Feyre wanted nothing more than to go there and see what was going on, but couldn’t leave the children alone in the house. Rhys went out to stop the festivities, knowing that they’d listen more to him than her, and Elain was in the other room, trying to use her own powers to find out what the hell was going on out there. Feyre loved Elain dearly, but she couldn’t leave all of the children alone with her. She didn’t know how to fight physically if anyone barged into the house, or if Evie tried to leave again.

‘This is taking too long,’ Evie mumbled. ‘Unless they’re taking on too many people, or if something happened to one of them. But that can’t happen, right? They both know how to fight, and they’re good at it. Unless they’re preoccupied with Rheya and Aedan there, and they’re distracting them… They could get in the way, turn into casualties, get hurt and distract mom and dad, leave them vulnerable for another attack…’

Rory’s hands began to shake on her mug as she took in Evie’s words. Feyre knew she was thinking out loud and didn’t even realise what she was saying, but the terror on Rory’s face was clear as crystal.

She wasn’t scared before, knowing that her parents were skilled fighters.

Now she had to think about it from a different angle, thanks to Evie’s input.

Caiden took the mug from her hands before she could drop it, enveloping her in a hug.

‘Eve,’ Feyre said, trying to approach her niece. ‘Evie, calm down, none of that will happen. Azriel went there to help them out.’

Evie didn’t pay her any attention, continuing to pace, continuing to think out loud. Rory’s eyes filled with tears fast enough and Feyre motioned for Caiden to take her in the other room.

‘Rory, do you want to see a new trick I learned? Aunt Amren taught me this yesterday. Come on, you’ll love it.’

Now that they were alone, Feyre focused all of her attention on Evie.

‘You’re scaring your sister with all that talk.’

Evie froze, glancing around, confused. ‘Rory’s not here.’

‘No, because Caiden had to take her away before she’d burst into tears. You don’t believe me that everyone will be alright, do you?’

Evie began tapping her foot across the floor. ‘Last time I checked, aunt Elain was a Seer, not you.’

Damn. Her mother’s daughter, indeed.

‘You should go out there, you’re the High Lady. You can put a stop to the fight.’

‘Rhys is out there already, and someone needs to stay here with you.’

‘In case they come after us, as well.’

‘In case you try to run away again.’

Evie resumed her pacing, brushing off her statement. ‘I won’t run away again. My mind is racing with possibilities of what can happen while I’m stuck here. They can’t hurt them. They can’t hurt either of them. Rheya…’

Her voice broke, blue eyes feeling with tears. ‘Rheya’s not a violent Fae. She never, ever fights outside of training. What if they hurt her, and she won’t fight back? What if she _can’t_ fight back?’

‘She won’t even need to fight back, because your mom and dad won’t let anyone touch her or Aedan. You know that, darling.’

Feyre fought back the desire to lay a comforting hand on her shoulder, to pull her in a tight hug, to wipe away her tears, since she was oblivious of them; but she knew Evie wouldn’t appreciate that too much. She was too tense, too scared.

_Rhys, talk to me,_ she shot down the bond.

An answer came a second too late than usual. _This festivity will end with way more casualties than I had in mind._

His voice sounded strained, as if he was in the middle of a fight. Panic surged through her.

_What is going on?_

_Rhys?_

_Do I need to come out there?_

_No, he finally answered. A bit busy right now. Azriel will be there in a second with the kids. Rogue Illyrians sneaked in the camp. Your sister and Cassian are alright._

‘Evie, I just talked to Rhys. He told me your mom and dad are alright, and that some rogue Illyrians sneaked into the camp. They have it under control.’

She stopped her pacing again, giving her a look that said _‘are you out of your fucking mind?’_ , before realising what she meant by talking.

‘Why did they come here? Did he say anything about Rheya and Aedan? Did you ask him? Where are they right now? Do you—‘

The breath was knocked out of her lungs the moment Azriel winnowed inside the house with Aedan and Rheya in tow. Aedan was gripping Rheya’s hands tightly, looking like he’d just seen a ghost, while she was trembling like a leaf, eyes as big as saucers.

‘You won’t believe what just happened,’ she said, voice shaking slightly.

Evie made a whimpering sound before launching herself at them. She hugged them both while tears streamed down her face, sobbing silently as they enveloped her in a tight hug.

‘I thought you were hurt,’ she said, and Feyre’s chest tightened. ‘I thought something bad happened to you two. Are you alright?’

She pulled back to assess them at the same time as Rory ran into the room and straight into Aedan’s arms.

‘Hey, Rory, I’m here,’ he said, picking her up. ‘I’m here, I’m fine.’

Rheya ignored Evie’s questions and wiped her face. ‘You look disgusting. I’m perfectly alright.’

Then she hugged Evie again, and they held so tightly to each other that Feyre got weak in the knees. They weren’t always this affectionate with each other, but they were twins. They never knew life without another, were never separated, were never in real danger. She knew exactly how Evie felt minutes ago; she felt like that about her sisters, too, back when they were all human and helpless.

Caiden walked into the room as well, sighing in relief before hugging his cousins.

‘You’re here,’ Elain said, walking in the room with a solemn face. ‘I just saw it all. Rhys joined them, too.’

‘Let’s go in the other room,’ Azriel said, and Feyre nodded. The children didn’t need to hear about all of this.

‘What happened, exactly?’ Feyre asked once inside the office. They left the door open to hear the kids, just in case.

Azriel looked furious. ‘Rogue Illyrians got into the camp, seeking revenge for what we did to their camp weeks ago. You know what happened.’

‘Oh,’ was all she could say. ‘How many?’

‘Around a dozen.’

‘Shit. Do they need more help?’

Azriel shook his head, taking a deep breath. ‘I just witnessed Nesta rip the spines out of five Illyrians’ bodies without ever laying a hand on them. I think they’re good.’

‘Oh my gods,’ Elain whispered, sitting down on a divan. ‘I skipped the bloody parts, I couldn’t bear to watch them.’

‘And Cassian ripped at least a couple of heads off with his bare hands. Rhys killed a couple, too. Devlon will be furious about it.’

‘It’s his fault that they got inside the camp in the first place,’ Elain said. ‘He has no right to be angry.’

‘Well, he’s the one who’ll have to deal with the bodies, so he won’t let us off the hook so easily.’

‘This was supposed to be a festivity, not a carnage,’ Feyre sighed. ‘The kids shouldn’t have gone through all of that. They’re too young for this shit.’

Azriel toyed with the hilt of Truth-teller, looking more grim than usual. ‘They’re the children of some of the most important and feared Fae on this continent. You all knew this was going to happen. Our enemies are their enemies as well, and this won’t be the last time someone will come after them to get at all of us. And we certainly can’t kill all of our enemies, because then there will be a drastic drop in population.’

‘They don’t deserve to go through this,’ Feyre whispered, hoping they wouldn’t hear her. ‘Not them as well. We swore they’d have different lives than the ones we all had.’

‘They do, Feyre,’ Elain tried to reassure her. ‘They’re happy children. This was just an accident.’

‘And if it happens again?’

Elain exchanged a look with Azriel, at loss for words.

‘We’ll protect them better.’

* * *

‘Well, this was a shit day,’ Rhys said, kicking the ripped arm of a male out of his way. ‘At least it’s over now.’

Cassian was sitting down next to Nesta under a tree, his attention focused solely on her. She was covered in blood and had just a few bruises, but she was eerily calm, as if nothing happened.

‘Sweetheart?’

She turned her face to look at him, a bit dazed.

‘Before you ask, yes, I’m perfectly fine. I’m just a bit… shocked.’

Rhys sat down in front of them, wiping the blood from his hands on his pants. ‘Can’t blame you after what you did. That was impressive, Nesta. I haven’t seen such mastery of the dark magic since…’ he blinked, confused. ‘Since Amren. Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. She taught you, after all.’

Damn, did she taught her well. Cassian saw Nesta fight before, of course, but never like this. Never with this much viciousness and hatred as she tore man after man apart, doing it in such grotesque ways that it left Cassian in awe. He understood quickly that it was her mother’s instincts screaming at her to protect her children, and while she managed to hold off while Rheya and Aedan were there, she certainly didn’t hold anything back once they were gone.

‘I’ve never felt so… drained.’

Cassian repositioned himself, wincing at a bruise on his side. ‘It’s normal. You most likely emptied your barrels of power. You’ll recharge in a couple of days, if you take it easy.’

‘We have four children. That’s not an option for us. Now will you tell me what the fuck they wanted with you? Why they threatened Aedan and Rheya in the first place?’

Sighing, Cassian explained the whole situation. He didn’t tell Nesta the story before because it was too grim, but now it came back to bite him in the ass. This was what he deserved for keeping things from her.

While he knew it wasn’t really his fault, Cassian couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit guilty. His actions, his decisions made those Illyrians react this way. If he hadn’t made them pay for the lives they took, they wouldn’t have come here and threatened his kids. The night wouldn’t have been ruined.

‘It’s not your fault for not getting them all,’ Rhys said, kicking some dirt with his foot. ‘Or Azriel’s. It was to be expected that some of them would escape.’

‘I know, but still…’

Still, he could’ve done more. He could’ve _tried_ harder, damn it.

Nesta laid a hand on his shoulder, catching his attention.

‘This isn’t on you, Cass. I never blamed you for a second.’

He looked at her in confusion, trying to decipher her facial expressions, to find out if she was serious or not.

‘I mean it, idiot. It’s not your fault. Don’t you beat yourself up over this.’

‘I didn’t think I’d be killing anyone tonight. This is a far cry from last year’s celebration.’

A hoarse laugh escaped Cassian’s throat, and Nesta grinned.

‘I doubt the kids will want to come here again,’ she said. ‘Where are they now?’

Rhys’s smile faltered just a bit. ‘Az took them to the house here. They’re all fine, but Evie… Gods, she’s certainly a handful. Almost slipped through my fingers trying to get to you two.’

Cassian didn’t expect any less from his daughter, but was still annoyed at her. She should’ve known better than to throw herself into the fray without knowing what the hell was going on.

‘She was scared shitless,’ he continued. ‘I’ve never seen her like that. I thought she was going to have a panic attack.’

‘We should go back,’ Nesta said, standing up. ‘I need to see her; all of them. I don’t want them to worry about us.’

She was right, they should get back. He wanted to see his children.

‘Before you do that…’ Rhys snapped his fingers, and all the blood and dirt on the surface disappeared. ‘Just a precaution in case they freak out. Come on, let’s head back before someone else thinks of attacking us.’

* * *

As soon as they walked inside, Nesta’s eyes landed on the children. One, two, three, four, five. Five children, all of them in perfect condition. All of them shaken to their core.

‘Mom, dad, you’re fine, you’re both fine,’ Evie said, jumping straight into their arms. Nesta didn’t miss her tear-streaked face. ‘I thought something bad happened to you.’

‘We’re fine, Evie, you shouldn’t have worried about us,’ Nesta said, and even though she was tired as fuck, managed to grin. ‘You thought they’d take us down that easily?’

Before they knew it, Rheya jumped in there, too.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said, leaning on Cassian. ‘I-I didn’t think anything bad would happen if we stood there.’

‘I’m sorry, too,’ Aedan said, approaching them. ‘Are you okay? You look tired.’

‘We’re both fine,’ said Cassian, then scowled. ‘Why would you two even apologise? It wasn’t your fault. You did nothing wrong.’

Rheya pulled back, but Evie was still clinging to Nesta. She ran her hand up and down her back, trying desperately to comfort her daughter.

‘Honey, everything is fine,’ she said. ‘No one got hurt.’

‘I wanted to help,’ Evie replied. ‘but these wouldn’t let me get away.’

‘And good thing that they didn’t. We’ll have a talk tomorrow about your reckless—‘

Cassian was stopped short when Evie threw her arms around his waist, hugging him just as tight. Forgetting that he was supposed to admonish her, he picked her up and kissed the top of her head.

‘You were so brave, and I’m proud of you. Of all of you.’

Rory made her way to them, gesturing for Nesta to pick her up. ‘Bad day?’ She asked, taking in her dirty clothes and bruises.

Nesta couldn’t help but laugh. ‘You have no idea, darling.’


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phew, now this is a long chapter. hope everyone enjoys it!!

_A couple of months later_

Warm, familiar hands wrapped around her waist, then traced the curve of her spine with feather-like touches. Cassian’s slow, deliberate movements awoke her gently, and as his fingers brushed her hair out of her face, he noticed her smile.

‘Happy birthday, sweetheart,’ he whispered, kissing the tip of her nose, then the corner of her mouth. His fingers were still tangled in her hair, combing through the curls.

‘Couldn’t this have waited a few more hours? It’s early,’ she replied, barely managing to open her eyes. She was still tired.

He opened one of his wings to shield her from the morning sun rays, and her smile quadrupled in size. She loved it when he did that.

‘You know I want to be the first one to say happy birthday to you, and now that the kids understand the concept of a birthday, I didn’t want to leave this to chance. They may be ours, but I’m allowed to be selfish about this. I want the privilege of wishing happy birthday first thing in the morning to my mate before they get the chance.’

Nesta rubbed her eyes before opening them, landing directly on her mate, who was watching her with the same look of adoration that she couldn’t get tired of. Warmth flooded through her body when his hand cupped her cheek, rubbing his thumb across it, then shook his head.

‘What’s wrong?’ She asked, leaning into his touch.

‘I…’ he stopped, grinning as if he couldn’t believe his own thoughts. Cassian was rarely speechless, and when he was, it was due to the weight of his emotions. ‘We’ve been together for little more than a decade now, and it still feels like I met you just a couple of days ago in that manor. I remember how much I wanted to throttle you, how beautiful you were, and how much venom you spewed at us and your sister.’

‘As any proper young lady should do,’ she grinned.

‘I got so lucky with you,’ he continued, his eyes glossy. ‘I should tell you this more often.’

Now it was Nesta’s turn to shake her head, leaning on her forearm and gripping his hand in hers. ‘No, _I_ was the one that got lucky. And you tell me every day that you love me, and you make me feel so, so loved. More loved than I thought it was possible. You know that I never thought I’d get married, and if I did, I had little hope that it would be with someone who would take me as I am, stubbornness and all. But you did.’

That familiar tug in her heart glowed bright and red. Nesta knew that he felt it, too, because it connected them. When she concentrated on it, she could feel his emotions, too — awe, love, gratefulness. They perfectly mirrored hers.

‘You gave me two incredible and smart girls, and then gave me — quite literally — another girl and a boy that I love more than I could ever say. They are my heart, but you’re my soul, Cass. Every little piece of it.’

He kissed her then, and it felt like their first kiss all over again — not the one on the battlefield, because that was rushed, desperate, a goodbye. This was a _hello, I’ve been looking for you my entire life,_ and he held her against himself with so much gentleness, as if she was made of glass. Leaning on her back, Nesta pulled him over her, and his wings flared behind him, shielding them from the gaudy light. There, they were completely alone, with no one to bother them. They were in their own bubble, their secret world, and oh, how he knew how to set her body alight. Her hands roamed his naked chest, traced every scar, every inked part of him, as he kissed every part of her face and neck.

They rarely had mornings like this, where they could indulge in each other as if they had the whole time in the world. Usually, one of the kids would walk in unannounced, but for some reason, they didn’t interrupt them. Or maybe they were still asleep.

‘Cauldron, this is my favourite sight in the world,’ he mused, pulling back just enough to take a proper look at her.

‘What, me in the morning?’ She held back a laugh. ‘I’m sure I’ve looked better.’

‘Nuh-uh. I prefer you like this,’ he laughed, kissing her chin, intertwining their fingers. ‘Wanna know why?’

‘Please, enlighten me.’

‘Because you’re usually grumpy, and your hair is a complete mess, and you have no make up on, and have I mentioned how beautiful your freckles are in the sun? They look like a constellation.’

He pressed a finger down on each freckle, earning a heartfelt laugh from her. ‘And you’re _so damn clingy._ Gods forbid I try to wake up before you, because you won’t let go of me.’

‘It’s because you’re warm,’ she tried to lie, and he saw right through it.

‘Oh, sure, and not because you’re addicted to cuddling me. Keep denying it.’

Shrugging, Nesta pulled him down for another kiss. ‘And because of that, too, I guess.’

‘There are nights when I wake up with you on top of me, hands wrapped around my neck like a vine, almost suffocating me, but I still don’t have it in me to move you away. I probably never will.’

‘You’re one to talk, some nights _you_ almost suffocate _me_ with your weight. At least I’m not made of muscles.’

‘No, you’re made of glitter and flowers and honey,’ he rolled his eyes, and Nesta laughed. ‘Did I tell you happy birthday?’

Her laugh turned into a soft smile. ‘You did. Thank you, Cass. I love you.’

‘I love you, too. And what are you in the mood for on this special day?’

‘Absolutely nothing.’

‘Unfortunately, that’s not an option. We have a party tonight, remember?’

That made her frown. ‘A party that I only agreed to to shut you and my sisters up. You know I’m not a big fans of parties.’

‘I know. But I am, and so is our entire family. Well, most of it, anyway. And because I knew you wouldn’t want to do anything until the party, I’ve taken the liberty of planning it myself. With some help, of course.’

‘What did you—‘

‘Until then, I’ve planned something extra,’ he added, eyebrows wiggling. ‘Room is soundproof, thanks to my divine powers, and there’s a long way before any of the children wake up.’

Nesta could barely keep her face straight. ‘Are you _propositioning_ me, Commander?’

He gave her one of his obnoxious grins before letting go of her hands, running them down her thighs. ‘I believe I am, Ambassador. Are you declining?’

‘I wouldn’t dream of it,’ she drawled, right as his hands reached under her nightgown, pulling down her underwear.

* * *

Cassian had a couple of rules that he lived by, but one of the most important ones were _happy mate, happy…_ other _mate._ Something like that. To put it plainly, if Nesta was pissed, his life was as good as over. So he did everything he could to keep her happy, and while there were some unfortunate incidents at the beginning of their relationship where he did the exact opposite, now he liked to think that he grew up.

He only annoyed her occasionally.

The other do’s and don’ts included:

  1. _Don’t give the children too much sugar, especially Aurora, who has the sweetest tooth in the entire world._
  2. _Don’t leave sharp objects around the house unless you want them to vanish (then find them later under Evie’s bed)._
  3. _Don’t interrupt Rheya when she’s reading, unless you want to have your ear yelled off. Same applies to Nesta._
  4. _Don’t let Aedan study too much. He’ll get headaches again._
  5. _Don’t let Evie unsupervised during training. She’ll get into a fight._
  6. _Get Nesta a new book every other week._
  7. _Get Rheya another encyclopaedia every other week._
  8. _Get Aurora a new toy every week._
  9. _Get Evie new colourful ribbons every week._
  10. _Get Aedan to run errands with you just to make him talk more and be less wary of strangers._



So far, they worked like a charm.

But today, Cassian felt the need to give Nesta even more attention than usual, which must’ve been a lot for her. It was her birthday, though, and she deserved way more than this. She deserved the world.

An hour and a half later, after they were both exhausted from too much fooling around, they managed to get out of bed and take a shower. They bickered for a bit, which riled them both up again, followed shortly by Cassian taking her against the bathroom wall.

When they finally emerged from their bedroom, dressed in comfortable clothes and stupid grins on their faces, they made their way towards the children’s bedrooms, only to stop short when they sniffed the air.

‘Is that…’ he began, brows furrowing.

‘Do you smell it, too?’

‘Yes. Are they _up?’_

He checked the closest bedroom — the twins’ one — and it was empty. So was Aedan’s and Aurora’s.

‘Cassian, did the soundproof charm you put on go both ways?’

He froze, then gave Nesta an innocent smile. ‘Oops?’

‘Unbelievable,’ she shook her head, heading downstairs. ‘We’re lucky they didn’t set the house on fire.’

Cassian followed her closely behind. ‘They’re smart kids, of course they didn’t!’ He said, but was secretly glad that they didn’t, either.

When they entered the kitchen, none of the kids noticed them, and it was an absolute _mess_.

‘No, Aedan, you’re supposed to use less flour, see? Read the recipe!’

Aedan, whose t-shirt was dirty with flour and cocoa — _correction_ , _all_ of their clothes were dirty — sighed dramatically. ‘I read the recipe, Rey, but in case you haven’t noticed, it says that it’s for _four_ servings. We’re _six_ , so it needs to be adjusted.’

‘In that case, you added too little caramel.’

‘No, I put just the right amount!’

‘Here, Rory, try this one as well!’ Evie said with enthusiasm, directing a big, wooden spoon towards Rory’s gaping mouth. ‘It has marshmallows.’

Rory’s mouth closed around it like a shark, and he was surprised that it came out intact. ‘This is sooooo good,’ she sighed, throwing her head back. ‘But I still liked the strawberries one better.’

‘More pancakes with strawberries, coming right up! Where did I— oh, mom! Mom, mom, happy birthday!’

The second Evie noticed her, all eyes zoned in on Nesta.

And basically ambushed her.

Cassian had to put a hand on her back to make sure the twins wouldn’t tackle her down with their ferocious hugs, and once Rory got down from the counter, she ran towards Nesta as well.

‘Happy birthday, mom!’

‘Mommy, happy birthday! I love you!’

Nesta kneeled, laughing and crying at the same time, trying her best to hug them all at the same time. ‘Thank you, thank you so much, my darling babies,’ she said, kissing their heads and faces. ‘Easy, though, don’t suffocate me!’

Aedan made his way towards them as well, looking eager to jump in there as well, but waited until the girls gave her a little breathing space. When Rheya moved out of the way, he crouched in front of Nesta and wrapped his arms around her neck.

‘Happy birthday, mom.’

Nesta’s hands stilled on his back, and her eyes met Cassian’s, full of shock, a perfect mirror of his.

Evie gasped in a very discreet manner. Rheya covered her mouth, hiding her enormous grin, and Aurora simply clapped her hands, jumping up and down.

‘He called her mom,’ Evie whispered excitedly, elbowing Rheya.

Rheya shot her an amused glance. ‘We all heard, Eve. I’m sitting right next to you.’

Aedan stood back on his heels, grinning widely at Nesta. His hair was too long again — but he refused to cut it shorter, claiming that it made him look more fierce, but it always ended up braided by the girls each night. Sometimes they’d stick flowers in, too, waiting to see how long it would take him to notice.

His mate’s face was one of pure shock. She opened her mouth to say something, eyes welling up with tears, then closed it.

‘I had an itch that you’d get emotional,’ Aedan said, giving her one of his rare, soft smiles. ‘In my defence, I waited so long because I knew I wouldn’t know what to get you for your birthday, so I figured this counted as a gift?’

Nesta laughed and cried at the same time, pulling him in for another hug. Aedan’s arms wrapped around her instantly, and she whispered something in his ear.

‘You liar!’ Shouted Evie. ‘We all got you a gift, and he contributed!’

‘Stop snitching on me!’ Aedan shouted back.

‘He even asked us if it’s fine with us if he calls you mom,’ Evie chirped, earning a death glare from Aedan. ‘What? You didn’t tell me that I couldn’t say that!’

He turned towards Evie, facing her completely. ‘Because I was counting on your conscience not to!’

‘Well, be more precise next time!’

‘Do I have to write it down for you?’

Evie squinted her eyes at him. ‘Can you spell it correctly?’

He made a motion to lunge at her, and Evie took a defensive stance at once, making Cassian laugh under his breath. Before he could stand up, Nesta grabbed his arm, pulling him back into her arms and kissing the top of his head.

‘Thank you,’ she said, smiling in a way that made his heart twist. ‘All of you. I love you so, so much.’

Cassian was about to say that this was a fun way to start their morning (but theirs had been _definitely_ better) before a strange smell caught his attention.

‘Is… something burning?’

‘Shit!’ Evie shouted, running towards the stove, Rheya following her at once.

‘Evie!’

‘Sorry, mom!’

‘What are you doing here? Are you trying to bring down the house?’

He inspected their work — or, better said, their absolute disaster — and tried not to wince.

Noticing where his attention was directed, Nesta joined him, her eyes wide. ‘Oh,’ was all she said, lips upturned. ‘I guess we don’t have to worry about breakfast today.’

‘Or cleaning,’ he added dryly, eyeing the numerous dirty bowls, dishes, glasses, cutlery, counters — basically every surface in the kitchen. The stove was dirty with flour, sugar, drops of milk, and bits of chocolate had been glued into a straight line with what looked like caramel. It was dangerously close to where Rory had been sitting on the counter, so Cassian could only guess whose work that was.

Glancing at her, he gave her a lopsided grin, picking her up in his arms. She was still small enough to enjoy being held without complaining about being embarrassed, like his other two girls.

‘I guess you helped as well?’ He asked her, and she nodded with enthusiasm.

‘Evie, tell them what we made! And don’t forget about the cake!’

‘The cake?’ Nesta wondered.

‘Look, mom, come here!’

Aedan helped Evie carry a tray on the kitchen table, and Cassian couldn’t help but gawk; it was piled high with round, fluffy pancakes, each a different size and… colour. Probably different flavours as well. Written with less-than-cursive writing on them was ‘Happy b-day Mommy!’, followed by lots and lots of smiley faces. Some had chocolate flowers on them, others lots of different toppings, and a some were squished together like a sandwich with a thick layer of jam between them.

‘We made them for you!’ Rheya exclaimed, bringing her hands together under the chin. ‘We woke up extra early!’

‘And we managed not to make the oven explode,’ Aedan added, looking just as excited as the girls.

‘We made your favourites as well,’ Rheya continued, pointing to one of the piles. ‘Blueberries and bananas.’

Well, that explained the colour.

‘I can’t believe you did all of this!’ Nesta said, mouth agape. ‘Thank you so much, you’re incredible. I’m proud of all of you.’

‘Why don’t I get the same treatment for my birthday?’ Cassian intervened, pretending to be annoyed. ‘Just because you didn’t come out of my—‘

_‘Dad!’_ The twins yelled.

‘What? Don’t you study the Fae body at school? Is it a secret?’ He mocked them, knowing they’d get even more riled up.

‘Shut up!’

‘Dad, _gross!’_

Nesta was too busy taking a bite out of all of the pancakes to back him up. Not that she usually did.

‘Try that one as well,’ Aedan said, not paying any attention to their conversation. ‘I made it.’

‘It’s so delicious,’ Nesta moaned, mouth full. ‘You’re actually good at this. I thought they’d taste really bad.’

‘The first dozen _did_ taste bad.’

‘Daddy,’ Rory pulled at his t-shirt. He noticed her fingers were sticky from the caramel she’d been eating — and playing with. Even her cute little face was smeared with chocolate. ‘Can you make me breakfast?’

He tried to wipe some of the chocolate away. ‘Didn’t you have enough sweets already?’

She shook her head vigorously. ‘I don’t want sweets, I want eggs. None of them know how to make eggs.’

‘Of course I will. But let’s go wash your face and hands first, and maybe change your t-shirt. How did you manage to get so much chocolate on it?’

He left the kitchen with Rory in his arms, heading upstairs.

‘I had to wipe my hands on something,’ she shrugged, making him laugh.

‘This may shock you, but that’s what towels are for. See, they…’

* * *

They spent the day out, doing all of the activities Nesta loved (excluding reading and yelling) — they went to the park and had a picnic, they played games (hide-and-seek was a blast), went shopping for a bit (which ended in her mostly buying stuff for the kids, even Aedan, who was still a bit reluctant about them spending money on him), then visited an art gallery. She recognised Feyre’s paintings immediately, and the twins did, too. They ran around and made up stories about what they thought the paintings represented and what the painter looked like, while she walked back with Cassian. Rory was holding Aedan’s hand and sucking on a lollipop, listening to him intently while he read the description of each painting out loud. He’d gotten so much better at that.

For lunch, they stopped at one of their favourite restaurants by the Sidra, where the chef — Celia, a blue-haired Fae that Nesta absolutely adored — came out to wish Nesta a happy birthday, then prepared her favourite meal. The girls wouldn’t stop talking about how training was, how glad they were that Aedan decided to join them and how, for once, they couldn’t wait for school to start so that Aedan could go with them, too.

While they talked about that, Nesta couldn’t stop grinning like a fool.

He’d called her mom.

She never really though she’d hear those words coming from his mouth, and she didn’t really mind. Aedan had a rough past, rougher than her own childhood, and he was too mature for his age. She never thought he’d view her as a mom. But still, she hoped.

And in the end, he did. No words could possibly describe that joy.

The party was taking place at the House of Wind, given that it was spacious enough to host more people and they wouldn’t have to worry about cleaning afterwards. Feyre and Elain organised it after begging her to let them, and when she finally relented, they were ecstatic. She made them promise to keep the party small — less than thirty guests, if it were possible — but she had an itch that it would be bigger than that.

…and her suspicions had been confirmed moments ago, when they winnowed right at the entrance of the House, kids in tow.

‘Shit, that’s definitely more than thirty people,’ Cassian snickered at her side.

‘There’s so many Fae! Come on, come on, let’s gooo!’ Evie pulled at her hand, and Nesta had no choice but to go inside the ballroom.

Once they made their entrance, all eyes landed on her, and the room exploded in shouts and wishes of ‘happy birthday, Nesta!’, making her yelp.

‘You’re here, you’re here! Happy birthday, Nesta!’ Elain tackled her first, giving her a tight hug and kissing both her cheeks.

‘Thank you, Elain,’ she said. ‘I thought this was going to be a small party.’

Elain took a step back, smiling like all was right in the world. ‘We might have made more invitations,’ she said innocently. ‘You look so beautiful, I love your dress!’

Nesta briefly glanced at her own outfit. It wasn’t too fancy, since she thought that not too many Fae would show up, but it was indeed beautiful. Soft blue, shimmering in the light, and reaching her ankles, her dress had been a gift from Cassian a few months ago. He saw her eyeing it in a designer’s window one day; the corset was embroidered with stars of all shapes and sizes, each having a blue gemstone sewn in their middle. It hugged her figure beautifully, especially her breasts, which Cassian wouldn’t stop staring at. The bottom was made of the most delicate tulle, glowing and flowy enough to allow her to run in case one of the kids got away. Too bad she decided to wear heels instead of boots.

‘And you look lovely too,’ she said, eyeing her stunning yellow dress. Only Elain could pull off a yellow dress. It only reached her knees and had a daring cleavage, very unlike Elain, but fitted her like a glove. ‘Now will you tell me—‘

‘Oh my stars, look at you! You look so beautiful, I’m going to eat you alive!’

Well, now she was lost. Once Elain got her eyes on her kids, there was no way of getting her back.

Truth be told, they did look gorgeous. Rheya was dressed in a purple dress with a bow at the back, her hair falling down her back in bouncy curls. Rory, who was currently holding her hand, had the most precious pink dress, which matched her headband with flowers made by Elain. She didn’t miss the look of joy on Elain’s face when she noticed it. Evie had a white, billowy dress, which she swore she wouldn’t stain, but Nesta wasn’t counting on it. At least she let her tie her hair up in a ponytail, which Evie insisted on tying with a blue ribbon. And Aedan — oh, he was absolutely exquisite in that tux. He looked uncomfortable at first when he came out of his room, saying that it felt stuffy, but when everyone told him how good he looked, he decided to go along with it.

And her mate…

Oh, Cassian always, _always_ looked good in a tux. A couple more hours, and she could get to rip those buttons off herself.

‘Nesta, there you are! Happy birthday!’

One by one, their family flocked to wish her a happy birthday, and gratitude filled her to the brim. She hugged all of them, thanking them for their kindness, wondering how she ended up deserving all of this. Mor hugged her the tightest, saying that she was glad she got to know the real Nesta, and not just the bitchy one — she abstained from commenting on that remark — and Roslyn said that she made her the most delicious birthday cake in history. Even though she’d had her fill with sweets today, she was eager to try it.

Feyre took her hand, guiding her towards the crowd. ‘Come on, there are Fae who want to see you!’

‘That’s new.’

She took a deep breath, giving Cassian one last helpless glance before letting her sister take the reins.

This was going to be a long, long night.

* * *

Cassian loved parties and loved to use any excuse to attend them. Nowadays it was harder for him to attend any, but not even because of the children; mostly because of Nesta, because usually she’d get into an argument with someone and threats would soon follow. Alcohol would turn her into a party freak, but that was also not an option with the kids. So they had to enjoy them sober, which was more or less fun, but he couldn’t complain either way. It was better than nothing.

His mate had been swept away by some work colleagues minutes ago, all eager to give them their gifts, and she threw him one last hopeless look before being led away. Evie was playing tag with Aedan and Caiden among the guests, Rory was showing her newest doll to Finn, who was watching it with wide eyes, while Rheya was sitting quietly next to him, her nose in a book.

He nudged her gently, and she grumbled.

‘What?’

‘You bored?’

‘No. You?’

‘Yes. Do you want to dance?’

Rheya gave him a perplexed look. ‘I don’t know if it would be more embarrassing for me or for you.’

Cassian couldn’t help but sigh dramatically. ‘Why would that be embarrassing? You’re my daughter!’

‘I guess the apple fell far from the tree in this case,’ she replied, flipping the page of her book.

Mor, who was sitting next to him, giggled like a school girl. ‘She turned you down.’

‘Thanks for the heads up, I wasn’t aware of that.’

‘I always hoped you’d end up having daughters.’

‘Why?’

Mor smirked, her lips a shade of bright red, a beautiful contrast to her cream dress. ‘Just so they’d humble you.’

‘Give him a break, he’s doing a wonderful job,’ Ros intervened from her side, stuffing her face with the beignets she’d made. ‘Cass, don’t listen to her. One day Finn will also decline to dance with her, and she’ll know what it feels like.’

Mor gasped while Cassian laughed, finishing his glass of champagne.

‘My son would never do that to me,’ Mor said, running a bejewelled hand through Finn’s stark white hair. ‘You wouldn’t, right, my love?’

Finn looked up at his mom and cocked his head as if to say, _‘why are you bothering me?’_. Mor huffed.

‘So much for loyalty in this family. Cass, come on, dance with me. This one—‘ she pointed to Ros, who was still eating — ‘has two left feet and won’t let me teach her, and I can’t sit down a minute longer.’

She stood up and extended a hand to him, which he gladly took. Finally something fun to do.

‘Rheya, you sure you don’t want to join us?’ Mor asked her.

She muttered something and made a _go-away_ motion with her hand. Mor winced.

‘Dismissive just like her mother. Love that. Come on, Cass, we haven’t danced in ages!’

Laughing as if they were still teenagers sneaking away to attend parties in the camp, Mor led him in the middle of the dance floor, which was packed with dancing Fae. There was an extraordinary variety of the way they danced; some alone, some in pairs of three or four, some doing some incredibly eerie moves, typical to their kind. They didn’t exactly go with the rhythm of the music, which was slow-paced, but it certainly amused him to no end.

‘It’s been so long since we last danced,’ Cassian said, one hand on her waist, the other holding her hand. ‘It was more fun when we were young, though.’

Mor laughed, tipping her head back, and she looked like the sun.

‘When we got so drunk that we could barely stand up, less alone dance. And you had no idea how to dance, remember? You used to step on my toes all the time.’

He rolled his eyes, groaning in embarrassment. ‘I was more preoccupied with fighting, not dancing!’

‘Remember when you had a huge crush on that girl from court, and me and Az taught you how to dance in time for Starfall? It was painful to watch you.’

He scoffed, both of them swaying gently. ‘She ended up saying yes, didn’t she?’

‘Thank the Cauldron you’re more skilled with your words than your legs.’

They kept reminiscing about their teenage years, laughing and swearing when the other mentioned a particularly embarrassing event, and how much things have changed. They had less opportunities to catch up these days, but whenever they did, it felt like nothing changed at all. Despite the centuries that’d passed, Mor was still one of Cassian’s favourite Fae in the world, and he loved her dearly. Every now and then she’d sneak a glance at Roslyn, her face melting at the sight of her, and it made him more proud than joyous.

‘How’s Ros these days?’

At the mention of her betrothed, Mor’s face lit up.

‘Whenever she’s not at one of the bakeries or cooking at the shelters, she’s at home, spending as much time with Finn as possible, or going on dates with me. It’s hard to find the time, but we make it work.’

‘It she still… You know…’

_Affected by her previous life?_

Mor pursued her lips. ‘More or less. There are days when it hits her harder, after seeing the refugees. I keep telling her that maybe it would do her good to take a break from the shelters, but she refuses, and I can’t blame her. Those Fae need all the help they can get, and they sympathise better with those who went through the same shit.’

Still, Ros came a long way. While she was still a klutz and a blabbering mess with strangers, she grew so accustomed to them, that Cassian couldn’t help but adore her sweet personality and wild streak. He thought she was the opposite of Mor, but it turned out that they were very much alike.

‘I went there a couple of weeks ago to check on some Fae I brought in. It never ceases to shock me how terrible those Fae in Hewn are, and how much they cling to their outdated traditions.’

Mor sighed, her lips quivering just a bit. ‘I saw my mother a month or two ago, and I was there with Ros.’

Cassian’s breath hitched. ‘I didn’t know you went to there.’

‘I didn’t tell anyone, not even Rhys, but I have a feeling he suspects it, but we haven’t talked about it. I couldn’t bear to.’

‘What happened?’ He asked as gently as he could, the pang in his heart echoing. Cassian knew Mor’s mother well enough to know that she perfectly fit the description of a heartless wench.

Shadows troubled her bright, warm eyes. Mor rarely talked about her family, especially her mother, the one who was supposed to protect her from harm when she was a young girl.

Instead, she ended up with a nailed to the ground by the bastard sons of Beron, and Mor’s mother claimed that it _‘served her well’_ for her wanton behaviour. He blamed himself so much when that happened; it was him who slept with Mor, after all. He caused all of her suffering and couldn’t retaliate, no matter how bad he wanted to. Centuries passed and he’d still jump at the opportunity to kill Beron’s sons and what remained of Mor’s lecherous family.

‘It wasn’t even intentional. We were there to bargain for the life of a couple of prisoners, and she happened to be at court one day. I hadn’t seen her in years. She actually looked surprised and came over to speak to me, which seemed absolutely ludicrous, and asked who Ros was. I told her that she’s my fiancée, and she went pale. When I told her that we have a son together, she actually gasped in horror,’ she laughed dryly. ‘I’d never seen her gasp so dramatically. Then she continued to tell me how I’ve ruined my life, how obscene and shameful I was, that I have a depraved lifestyle and that I would burn forever in the depths of the Cauldron. The usual stuff.’

‘Mor, I’m so sorry,’ he managed to say. ‘She’s the horrible one, and I still stand by my wish to murder her. Don’t listen to one word that bitch says. You’re an incredible woman and mother, and nothing will change that.’

She nodded, a tear running down her face. Cassian wiped it away.

‘From all four of us, you came the longest way,’ he admitted. ‘I wish you could see it from my eyes. I’m proud of you, more than you know.’

Mor wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him. He wrapped his arms around her and held her against his chest, listening to the erratic beating of her heart, letting her settle down.

‘Thank you, Cass. I hope you know how much I love you.’

He couldn’t help but smile, running a hand through her blond curls. ‘I know. I love you, too.’

* * *

Nesta found Evie, Aedan and Caiden by the bar, talking to none other than Vivianne and Kallias. They both met Evie and Caiden, and her daughter looked exuberant to tell them of the newest moves she learned and about her progress in magic. Viv listened intently to her every word, a big, goofy smile on her face, while her mate was talking to Caiden and Aedan in hushed voices. For once, Aedan didn’t look uncomfortable talking to a stranger, but she had a hunch that it was due to the fact that Caiden was at his side. He liked Caiden.

‘Nesta, there you are! Come on, let’s drink more!’

Elain and Feyre appeared at her sides, hooking their arms to hers. They were tipsy — well, more than tipsy, after dancing and drinking like there was no tomorrow. She had no choice but to join them, though she kept away from the alcohol as much as she could.

‘I think you’ve both had enough to drink,’ she said, although she didn’t stop them from heading to the bar.

‘Bo-hoo, you’re sounding like a big sister,’ Elain said.

Nesta frowned. ‘I _am_ your big sister.’

‘Doesn’t mean you have to act like one,’ Feyre giggled. ‘Oh, there’s my little starlight! Why isn’t your father with you?’

All eyes landed on them, Kallias’ narrowing on Feyre. Viv was grinning like a wildcat.

‘Looks like someone’s having fun,’ she mused, nudging Evie.

‘He went to find you with uncle Az,’ Caiden said, fighting back a smile. ‘I guess you found us first.’

‘That’s great. We’re here to do a couple of shots. Nesta, come on, this round’s on me!’

‘Feyre, we don’t have to pay for anything, it’s an open bar,’ Nesta reminded her, laughing.

‘Oh, shots? I’m doing shots as well. Back home, we have these shots that turn your throat to frost, and they get you wasted in no time. I don’t suppose you have those here, do you?’

Feyre’s shoulders slumped in disappointment. ‘Now I wish we did.’

‘Mom, can I do shots as well?’ Evie asked, tugging at her hand.

Nesta could only scoff as Evie sat on one of the barstools, the picture of innocence. Her dress was already stained.

‘Not if I can help it.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because alcohol is bad for you.’

‘Then why are those two drunk?’ She asked, pointing towards her aunts.

Elain was in the middle of chatting with the barman, while Feyre was inspecting the menu like it was written in an ancient language.

‘Because they enjoy life a little bit too much.’

‘In that case, I— _auntie Amren!’_

Evie jumped from the barstool and ran directly to Amren’s, hugging her by the waist so tight that she made a choking noise. Although any day now Evie would be just as tall as Amren, she leaned down and hugged Evie back, which completely astonished Nesta.

‘I saw you a week ago, missing me already?’ Amren asked, lips quirking up.

‘I did. You’re fun to hang out with.’

‘That’s fantastic, but let go of me now, you’ll squeeze me to death.’

Evie let go, but still held on to her hand, as if she was still a toddler. Amren, to her credit, didn’t let go of it.

‘I didn’t think you’d show up,’Nesta said by way of hello, and the two of them shared a secretive grin.

‘I knew these two would try their best to get you drunk, so I figured I’d come and rescue you. Happy birthday, witchling,’ she said, then extended her a badly wrapped box. It was endearing.

‘Amren, you didn’t have to get me anything,’ she said, setting the box on the counter to open it.

‘You won’t say that when you see what it is.’

Evie was glued to the edge of the bar, dying to see what was inside. When she opened it, Nesta couldn’t help but gasp.

‘You didn’t,’ she uttered. ‘How?’

Amren gave her a sneaky smile. ‘I have my methods.’

Nesta pulled out the shimmering purple garment, letting it fall to the ground. At the sight of it, Vivianne yelped loudly, making Kallias wince.

‘Where did you get that? I’ve been looking for one for ages now!’

‘What is it?’ Feyre asked, squinting her eyes at the cape.

Nesta ran her fingers on the soft velvet, marvelling at its intricate embroidery of runes and spells in ancient tongues.

‘It’s an invisibility cloak,’ she answered, barely believing her own eyes. ‘And blocks off any sort of enchantments, hexes and spells. It’s more like a shield.’ Then her eyes met Amren’s, and she shook her head. ‘I can’t believe you got me one. Thank you, Amren.’

Not caring that she didn’t like hugs all that much, Nesta hugged her dearest friend. For once, Amren hugged her back with little reluctance.

‘You’re very welcome, Nesta. You definitely need it with your job.’

‘I wanna try it! Aedan, Caiden, come see this! Mom got an invisibility cloak! Where’s Rheya? She needs to see it, she’ll die of jealousy!’

They all got turns trying it on. Evie was jumping up and down, staring at her invisible body, grinning from ear to ear. Caiden pulled his mom’s hair right as she took a shot with Elain and Viv, making her spill half of it on her chest, and then promised to make him scrape off all the dried paint from her palettes. Even Aedan tried it, but freaked out and said that it felt too peculiar to not see his own body.

An hour later, they were all sitting at a round table, drinking wine and laughing. The party was still raging on, and she wondered briefly where her mate and other two children were, but then he spotted Cassian with Mor a few moments ago, and knew they were fine. Kallias went off to the bathroom, but she guessed he was in search of some male company. Viv waved him off and informed him that she planned on getting wasted tonight. He said he didn’t expect any less, then kissed her tenderly, whispering something in her ear that turned her cheeks pink.

‘My, my, what a sight for sore eyes,’ a familiar voice purred, making her groan instantly. ‘Don’t you all look absolutely spectacular.’

Helion was, as always, infuriatingly beautiful, with his black tux and golden lapels. His dark skin gleamed, and the glitter around his eyes made him look almost ethereal. As much as this male annoyed her, Nesta couldn’t deny how handsome he looked, and how well he could pull off that damned golden glitter.

‘Wow,’ she heard her daughter mumble, eyes glued to Helion. Nesta fought back the impulse to nudge her awake. ‘Who are you?’

Helion’s eyes zoned in on Evie, mirroring her confusion. ‘Who are _you?_ ’

‘I asked first.’

‘I’m a High Lord, _you_ need to answer me first.’

Evie sighed dreamily, twisting her straw in her juice. ‘You do realise you’ve just answered my question, right?’

At his baffled expression, the entire table snickered.

‘I guess you can’t have it all, after all.’

Helion looked like he was about to say something, but then his gaze landed on Nesta, and his mischievous grin returned in a heartbeat. She almost choked on her wine.

‘I was so glad to receive an invitation to your birthday party,’ he said, pulling out the empty chair beside her and sitting down. His hand found hers and he brought it to his lips, kissing her knuckles, not taking his eyes off of her. ‘The mere sight of you brightens my day. Happy birthday, Nesta dear.’

Maybe it was because of the wine, but Nesta actually laughed. ‘Thank you, Helion, you’re too kind.’

But then he wouldn’t let go of her hand, so she hand to pry it away. ‘Still happily mated.’

‘Damn it,’ he muttered under his breath.

‘Hello, Helion,’ Feyre waved, glass of wine in hand. Elain was laughing silently with Viv, their faces red, while Aedan and Caiden where whispering to themselves. ‘It’s been a long time since I last saw you! You look good. The glitter suits you.’

Helion winked. ‘My favourite High Lady, it’s always a pleasure to see you.’

Hearing that, Viv cut him a sharp glare, laughter faded. ‘And why am I not also your favourite High Lady?’

‘Because you snitched on me to your mate, remember? Ruined my whole damn vacation.’

Viv gasped, gripping the edge of the table. ‘You were planning on stealing a dozen reindeers from us!’

‘Not stealing, borrowing!’

‘Without our permission!’

‘I wanted to go on a sleigh ride, give me a break!’

‘If Rheya would be here,’ Evie whispered to Nesta, ‘she’d be so furious that these people are leaders.’

Nesta bit back a laugh, pulling her daughter closer to her side. ‘We’ll tell her all about it later.’

When Helion’s eyes saw how Evie was leaning on her, he balked. ‘Don’t tell me that’s your child right there. Wasn’t she a baby?’

‘Helion, that was ten years ago,’ Nesta sighed.

‘I met him before?’

‘He met Rheya, and he made her cry within ten seconds.’

‘Oh, right, you have two.’

‘I have four, actually. That one sitting next to Caiden is also my son. His name is Aedan.’

Hearing his name, Aedan perked up. ‘Sorry, did you say something?’

Nesta waved her hand. ‘Nothing important, darling. This is Helion. He’s the High Lord of the Day Court.’

Helion was probably expecting him to bow or salute him in a formal manner, as all his subjects probably did, but Aedan wasn’t the most skilled Fae when it came to pleasantries, so he just waved at him.

‘’Sup.’

‘Did he just say _‘sup’_? What the hell is that?’ Helion asked, looking mortified.

‘So, Helion,’ Evie intervened, moving to sit on Nesta’s lap. She almost complained that she was a bit too heavy, but she knew she was in one of her detective moods. She never met another High Lord except for Rhys and Kallias. ‘Can I call you Helion?’

‘I could go for Your Highness or—‘

‘Anyway,’ Evie waved him off, and he made a grimace. Second time he was dismissed by a child tonight. ‘What’s the Day Court like? I’ve never seen it.’

‘Trust me, I would’ve known if you were in my court,’ Helion grumbled. ‘It’s beautiful, and definitely warmer than this place. Our summers are absolutely magical.’

‘Do you have a palace?’

‘Do I have a palace,’ Helion scoffed. _‘Of course_ I have a palace. What High Lord doesn’t live in a palace?’

‘My uncle lives in a townhouse.’

‘Oh, my apologies. I didn’t know the Night Court was _that_ poor.’

‘Do you have a mate?’ She went on, and Nesta swore he saw something flickering in Helion’s eyes, though his grin didn’t falter.

‘Sadly, I don’t. Not all of us are as lucky as your parents.’

‘So you want one?’

‘Perhaps one day I won’t be too opposed to the idea of it.’

‘Male or female?’

‘As long as they have a good fashion sense, it matters not.’

‘Do you like fighting?’

Helion gestured towards himself. ‘Look at this body. Years and years of mixed fighting styles and sword fighting.’

Evie almost swooned in Nesta’s arms, which made her stifle her laugh in her fist.

‘Maybe when I grow old, I’ll be your mate. You check off all the boxes.’

Helion seemed to choke, taken by surprise.

‘Evie!’ She said, trying to sound admonishing, but Evie just glanced at her curiously.

‘What? He’s perfect!’

‘He’s…’ Nesta cringed, not wanting to inform her daughter that her possible first crush was a notorious playboy. ‘He’s too old for you. I’m sorry, sweetheart.’

‘That makes no sense. I’ll grow up one day, so why does it matter?’ Then she returned her attention to Helion, who was fighting back a laugh now. ‘You don’t seem like a terrible male.’

‘Why, thank you, miss Evie,’ he actually bowed his head, and Nesta wanted to step on his foot. ‘I try my best not to be. And anyone would be lucky to have you as their mate when you grow up, although your father will be a force to be reckoned with.’

He flicked her nose, earning a huge smile from Evie.

‘I made up my mind already. Would you like to dance with me? I might step on your shoes, though.’

At that, Helion actually stuttered. Helion. _Stuttering._

Well, if this wasn’t an interesting turn of events.

‘I-I think…’ his eyes darted towards her. ‘If your mom agrees?’

Evie turned in her lap like a whirlwind, managing to hit her in the shin. Auch.

‘Mom, can I dance with him? Please, please, _please?’_

Rubbing her foot, she cast Helion a wary glance. ‘Sure, go ahead.’

Evie jumped from her lap and grabbed Helion’s hand, pulling him towards the dance floor. He gave Nesta a helpless look, which amused her immensely.

‘Let’s hope Cassian won’t see you!’

‘Oh, Cauldron boil me,’ he said, but let himself be dragged away nonetheless. ‘So, what sorts of dances do you have around here?’

* * *

They left the party after midnight. Rory was fast asleep in Cassian’s arms, Rheya wasn’t far from falling asleep either, Evie was happier than ever and Aedan also had a silly smile on his face, though Nesta had no idea why. She’d try to pry tomorrow.

As soon as they got home, Cassian went upstairs to put Rory to bed. Rheya hugged her and wished her happy birthday again, then she clocked out as well. Evie was sprawled on the couch, her head hanging on the edge, while Aedan was telling her what he thought of everyone they met. Nesta only heard parts of the conversation as she came downstairs, now changed into comfortable clothes. She could finally breathe.

‘—I thought they’d be more pompous. Since they’re High Lords,’ Aedan said, twisting a butter knife between his fingers. They were eating cake.

Evie shifted, her feet hanging up in the air. ‘From what I know, Kallias is actually a great High Lord, and he made Vivianne, his mate, High Lady as soon as the war was over.’

‘Helion seemed arrogant.’

Hearing that, Evie mouth hung wide open. ‘Don’t say that! He was so dreamy. And charming. And a very good dancer!’

They didn’t pay Nesta any attention when she went into the kitchen for a glass of water, continuing to talk.

‘Eve, he’s _old_.’

‘So? I’ll grow up one day.’

‘And then he’ll be even older.’

‘Dad is over five hundred years old, you know that, right? And mom barely turned thirty eight years old. Is it weird? Maybe. Will it stop me? Absolutely not. Mom, what do you think?’

Nesta sat down next to Aedan, who seemed just as amused by the situation as her.

‘I think you should find another crush.’

‘Crush? Who has a crush?’

Cassian came downstairs in different clothes, looking more tired than even her. Still, he sat behind Nesta, arms sneaking around her waist and pulling her close. ‘Don’t tell me you have a crush,’ he said to her.

Nesta chuckled. ‘Worse. Evie has a crush.’

‘What? _Why?’_

Evie’s nose crinkled. ‘What do you mean why? Am I not allowed to have a crush?’

‘Depends on who.’

‘Oh, you’re going to love this,’ Nesta chuckled, right as Evie clasped her hands.

‘On Helion!’

Silence.

One, two, three heartbeats.

Aedan snickered.

When she turned around to look at him, Cassian seemed frozen.

‘I’m sorry, I think I must’ve heard wrong. Did you say _Helion_? As in, the _High Lord_ Helion?’

‘Yes! He danced with me! It was magical. He has a palace,’ she added, as if that was the most important thing.

Cassian leaned his head against Nesta’s, groaning loudly, and she couldn’t help it anymore. She burst out laughing.

‘Oh come on, they were actually cute! Evie kept on stepping on his feet and wouldn’t stop talking to him!’

‘Why am I cursed?’ He muttered.

‘At least you’re aiming high,’ Aedan elbowed Evie.

‘Don’t encourage her. Evie, you can’t have a crush on Helion, he’s— he’s—‘

He stammered, knowing that he couldn’t tell her the truth about him.

‘He’s _old!’_

‘That seems to be the only argument you people have. You’re old as well!’

‘Auch _._ But I met your mom when she was an adult, not when she was a child! It’s creepy!’

‘Didn’t uncle Rhys have visions of aunt Feyre ever since she was a baby? _That’s_ what’s weird.’

‘Okay, that _is_ creepy,’ Aedan agreed.

‘Nesta, help me out,’ Cassian moaned, as if in agony. ‘I can’t live knowing that my baby daughter has a crush on Helion. Not him. Anyone else, just not _him_.’

She patted his cheek, secretly enjoying this. ‘It’s fine, I’m sure they’re not mates or anything.’

_‘Mates—‘_ his eyes bulged out. ‘Who even said anything about mates? Oh my gods, stop saying it out loud, maybe it’ll come true! Evie, find another crush.’

‘No,’ she said sweetly.

Chuckling, Nesta sat back and watched the two of them spar. Aedan scooted closer to her, offering some of his cake.

‘You know, I thought that having a family would mean living with people that you’d never argue with.’

‘In that case, you landed in the wrong one,’ she laughed.

Aedan looked at her with an unusual gentleness. ‘No, I landed right where I was supposed to be.’

* * *

‘This was a long day,’ her mate whined, hopping down on their bed. ‘With an unfortunate twist.’

Nesta ran her fingertips over the bracelet she’d received from Elain. It was a golden band encrusted with black gemstones, and on the inside, the names of her children were carved in cursive letters. It almost made her weep.

After securing it on her wrist, promising to never take it down, she faced her mate. He was staring blankly at the ceiling, his brows furrowed, pants hanging dangerously low on his hips. She stared a second too long at his naked chest with its intricate tattoos, as he always did, and her palms tickled, as if they could almost feel his skin.

‘You’re exaggerating. It’s just a harmless crush.’

‘You can be mad at me all you want, but I’ll never, ever be okay with the idea of our daughter crushing on that prick. I don’t want to be the one saying this, but she has terrible taste in males.’

‘You and Helion are a lot alike, you know? That’s why you can’t stand him. Which means that I also have terrible taste in males, because I’m with you.’

The look of pure shock and betrayal made her bite her tongue. Oops.

‘I’m nothing like him!’

‘You share some traits, you have to admit. And it’s not like he encouraged her or anything, so stop fussing over it. She won’t see him for a long time, anyway, and by that time, she’ll find someone else to crush on, likely from school. _Then_ you’ll have real reasons to be worried.’

‘I don’t want to think about this anymore. Tell me something, anything. Just distract me for a bit.’

She sat on the edge of the bed, brushing her hair.

‘Did you see what the kids made me?’

That got his attention. ‘No. What?’

‘They made me a scrapbook,’ she grinned. ‘It’s filled with sweet messages, drawings of us, bad portraits of me and their handprints in paint. It’s so beautiful, and their messages are adorable. Even Aedan wrote inside it, and you should see how neat his handwriting is. I would’ve shown it to you, but I left it in my office, just to be sure no one spills anything on it.’

He turned on his stomach and faced her. ‘Now I’m starting to feel jealous,’ he said, despite his bright smile.

‘I’ll give them a hint to make you one for your birthday.’

‘I still haven’t given you my gift.’

Her hand stilled on her hairbrush. ‘Cassian, you gave me like four presents in the course of one week.’

He shrugged, as if it were nothing. ‘As any male in love should do.’

Then he reached under the bed and pulled out a box.

‘What is it?’ She asked, shaking it to get a feel of what’s inside.

‘Open it, smartass. It’s not a ticking bomb.’

She pulled loose the bow and took a peak inside. It was a ring, though an exceptionally unusual one. Nesta noticed it right away — the band was beautifully crafted, smooth and golden, taking the shape of a twisted twig, and held securely a shimmering, odd-shaped stone. It didn’t have one colour; it shifted to numerous ones, from white to black to blue to green and so on.

‘Why is it—‘

‘Put it on your finger,’ he instructed her, ‘and tap the stone.’

‘Tap the stone?’

‘Just do it, you’ll see.’

Nesta slid it on her middle finger, and it fit her perfectly. She tapped the stone twice with her fingertip, and before she had a chance to say a word, sparkly bits of dust left the stone, gathering and morphing until they created a moving image before her eyes.

She held her breath as the figures became clearer and clearer. It was them — Nesta, Cassian, the twins, Aedan and Rory. They were in the park, sitting on a blanket, posing for one of Feyre’s quick sketches. They all smiled for just a second before Evie and Rheya made a face, Aedan groaned and leaned back on the grass, and Rory began jumping up and down, trying to get their attention. Then Cassian whispered something into Rheya’s ear, and with one meaningful look to Evie, they began tickling Nesta, just as they did when they were young. Noticing the fun, Aedan joined them too in torturing her, and so did Cassian. Rory climbed on top of them, grinning brightly at Feyre, who was still sketching.

She blinked the tears from her eyes just as the moving picture dissipated, the particles of sparkling dust returning to the stone.

‘H-How…’

Cassian brought her hand to his mouth and kissed it one, twice, thrice. It was a million times better than when Helion kissed it.

‘Remember when I got you that memory ring a couple of months ago?’ He asked, and she nodded, wiping her face with the sleeve of her sweater. ‘I wanted to make you an actual memory ring, and I asked around any powerful sorcerers and inventors that I knew. This girl from the Dawn Court told me of the remains of a particularly strange star that sorcerers used to store their memories in. Only a few pieces were left, and it was incredibly difficult to fixate a memory inside it. It required lots of power, which I honed with Amren’s help.’

‘And the memory?’

‘Courtesy of dear Feyre,’ he said with a sneaky smile. ‘Amren retracted it from her brain. She said it felt like claws were digging against her head.’

Without warning, Nesta jumped on top of Cassian, wrapping her arms and legs around him. He groaned in pain but hugged her back, smoothening back her hair.

‘I take you like it?’

‘I fucking love it,’ she laughed. ‘And I love you, too. It’s incredible. It’s officially my favourite birthday gift in history.’

He pushed her shoulders back. ‘Better than the scrapbook?’

She hummed, making a show of thinking about it. ‘Close enough to the scrapbook.’

‘In that case, I’m relieved,’ he said, kissing her. ‘Happy birthday, sweetheart.’

There was no question that it had been her favourite birthday so far.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early update because it's the winter Solstice today!! I thought it would be appropriate to upload a winter-y chapter today in honour of Feyre's birthday.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy it, and thank you so much for the support! it means the world to me <3

_13 years old_

‘And when do we need to ship them?’ Adriel asked, stuffing the papers in his satchel. ‘Should we wait a few more days, see if the snowstorms up north calm down?’

Cassian nodded. ‘Don’t send out any Illyrians if the snowstorms are too bad. And make sure the crates are well packaged. Oh, and throw in more blankets, they are going to need them.’

‘Will do, Commander. And there’s one more thing—‘

_‘You imbecile, get back here and say that to my face!’_

Both Adriel and Cassian winced. He didn’t even need to turn around to know what all that was about. Adriel took that as his cue to leave.

‘We can discuss this at a later time,’ he said with an apologetic smile, then promptly left.

Already sensing a headache forming, Cassian returned to the compound that they used for training. It was an enormous building at the edge of the town, high enough to facilitate flying indoors as well. They were in the middle of winter, and while it wasn’t a problem to train the older troops outside in harsher conditions, they couldn’t do the same with children.

He entered the enormous hall filled with weapons, scaling equipment and dummies to practice on, and his eyes zoned in on his daughter. Evie was holding a staff that was twice her height, pointing it towards an older boy who had his arms crossed around his chest, looking at her with obvious fury in his eyes. While Evie was tall enough for her age, the boy was still much taller, yet she looked at him as if he were an ant meant to be squashed. The other kids were watching the fight expectantly, as they always did, and Cassian briefly wandered where the hell Azriel was. He was supposed to watch them while he ran some things by Adriel, and now the idiot was gone. Perfect.

‘I’m sorry, princess, was I not right? Your aim _is_ shit,’ the boy said.

‘Oh boy,’ Cassian mumbled, already walking towards them.

‘Stop prancing around like you’re the biggest warrior in the room. You’re not.’

‘We’ll see about that, you moron!’

She took a step back and prepared to throw the staff at him, which would’ve most likely impaled him, but Cassian was fast. He knocked the staff right out of her hand and threw it somewhere in the back, far away from her reach.

‘What the—‘ furious eyes met his annoyed ones. ‘I was in the middle of something!’

‘Maiming your colleagues?’

‘He’s been picking at me the entire damn week! He’s asking for it, and I’ll be damned if I won’t give it to him.’

And then, with an outrageous battlecry, Evie made to run towards him, and Cassian didn’t miss the look of pure distress on the boy’s face. Everyone got out of her way. He caught her in time, ignoring her wings fluttering furiously and her attempts to get out of his grip.

‘Let me go, he called me a ninny! He said I’m shit at fighting, so I’ll prove him that I’m not by bashing his face in!’ Evie bellowed.

‘You’re crazy!’ The boy yelled, voice shaking slightly.

_Gods, give me strength._

‘Evie,’ he tried, knowing that it wasn’t going to work. ‘Stop. _Stop._ That’s an order, Evanora.’

That made her stop in her tracks.

‘Everyone else, go to the other training room. Practice your stances and jabs. If anyone else gets into a fight, I’m seriously going to lose it and you won’t be happy when that happens.’

‘Yes, Commander!’ They shouted before scrambling out of her room.

A couple more kids remained in the farthest corner of the hall, but they weren’t from this group.

‘Evie, we talked about this,’ he kneeled in front of his daughter. ‘You can’t pick fights every time Azriel walks out. It’s not fine.’

When she looked at him, Cassian fought back the urge to cringe. Oh, she wasn’t just angry, she was _murderous_.

‘He deserves it,’ she said as calmly as she could. ‘I’ve held back for as long as I could, but he crossed the line. I won’t let him talk to me like that, especially not in front of everyone! How else can I assert dominance amongst them if he undermines me all the time?’

Cassian rubbed his temples, wondering where the hell did she get this dramatic flair from.

Oh, right — _him_.

Somewhere behind them, a dummy burst into flames. Some of the kids swore, but Evie barely paid it any attention. She merely flicked her wrist, and the fire was put out.

‘Alright, I understand how you’re feeling, and you’re right. No one gets to talk to you like that.’

‘So you’ll let me beat his ass?’

‘Of course I won’t. I’ll move him to another group.’

‘That’s not how this should work! Let me fight him!’

He sighed, scratching the back of his head. ‘You can’t duel each other officially yet, you know that. You’re too young.’

‘So you’re just going to let him walk away?!’

‘I’ll punish him, don’t worry. But you’re not going to walk away freely, you know.’

That made her freeze. ‘What does that mean?’

‘It means that you can’t start fights, disrupt the whole class, and then expect that nothing will happen to you. Just because you’re my daughter, it doesn’t mean I’ll treat you differently during the classes, and neither will Azriel. Where is he, anyway? He should’ve been watching you.’

‘Something to do with aunt Elain. And you can’t punish me for standing up to myself,’ she said. ‘You taught me to do that!’

‘And I’m not doing that! I’m punishing you for disrupting the entire class, and the same goes for that boy!’

Evie crossed her arms around her chest, tapping her foot angrily against the floor. It was a miracle that nothing else burst into flames.

‘If it helps, I’ll have a very, _very_ serious word with him after the class ends,’ he tried to add. ‘I promise you he won’t be saying anything to you ever again.’

‘It doesn’t help. I don’t need you to fight my own battles.’

‘I obviously don’t, but I can’t let you run around and kill your classmates just because they’re dicks.’

‘So you admit I was right?’

He looked to the ceiling, wondering why there were so many stubborn women in his family. ‘Yes, Evie, you were right. You still have to do twenty laps around the room.’

She brushed an invisible lint off her shoulder, her smile finally returning. ‘He gets double, I presume?’

‘The same amount, transferred into the worst group _and_ a few threats from me.’

There — that seemed to do it. Just like that, Evie’s anger dispersed and a smile bloomed on her beautiful face.

‘Deal. Also, don’t play the Commander card with me, you know it won’t work forever.’

He shrugged, taking her still small hands in his. ‘Probably, but how else am I supposed to stop you from committing mass murder at such a young age?’

She laughed, and all his worries and anger disappeared.

It still surprised him how easy it was for him to ignore all of the stupid shit his kids did just for the simple fact that he loved them so fucking much. And he had to admit, Evie was right to get angry at that idiot. He’d make sure he won’t be picking on his daughter anytime soon.

‘Where’s your sister?’

She pointed towards one of the highest windows in the hall. Surely enough, Rheya was sitting on the large window’s threshold, dangling one foot in the air, nose buried in a book. Did she even notice what was going on here?

‘Why is she all the way up there? Rheya, come down!’

He stood up, eyes trained on his daughter. He saw how she murmured something, probably her dissatisfaction at being interrupted, promptly closed her book and dived down towards them.

It was an impressive dive, he had to admit it. Rheya was by far the most skilled flyer in all of the young groups — probably better than some Illyrians in his older groups. Her wings were long and smooth, perfect for stealth flying, and she navigated the winds better than most flyers at her age did. Even Evie struggled with flying in certain manners or altitudes sometimes, but her twin was a natural. There wasn’t any movement that she couldn’t do or speed that she couldn’t fly at.

To his relief, Evie wasn’t at all jealous of her sister. When there were flying contests, she’d be in the front rows, cheering on her and throwing popcorn at the others who cheered on her opponents. She’d ask Rheya to show her certain manoeuvres, how to fly in sync, how to wield weapons when you needed to focus on the currents as well. Rheya wasn’t that big on fighting like her sister, but she loved flying with a burning passion.

‘What happened? I was in the middle of a chapter,’ she said as soon as she landed, throwing back her dark braid. Both were dressed in training clothes, but Rheya’s were less wrinkled and sweaty, meaning that she hadn’t been in a fighting mood today.

‘Didn’t you see your sister get into a fight minutes ago?’

Rheya blinked, taking her sister in. ‘I did, but the last chapter ended in a cliffhanger, and I wanted to know what was going to happen.’

Cassian gave a dramatic sigh and Evie giggled. ‘You’re both terrible.’

Side by side, they couldn’t be more different yet alike. Everything about Rheya was neat — not a hair out of place, her wings tucked in tight and her book under her arm. Evie was a maelstrom. She unbraided her light hair, which spilled down on her back in messy curls, and there were even specks of blood on her clothes. He didn’t even want to know where they were from. Her wild grin told him that she had no regrets about what happened a few minutes ago, while Rheya looked ready to go back to her book.

‘Dad, can we go now? I have homework,’ Rheya said.

‘Sure, but first, your sister has something to finish,’ he winked, and Evie grumbled. ‘Come on, let’s go to the other room.’

* * *

Nesta wanted to go home.

She debated throwing all of these documents in the fireplace and pretending that they never arrived. Would that get her into any trouble? Probably not, since she was the Ambassador. She had diplomatic immunity, didn’t she? That’s how she got away with so many murders.

It was well over three and she was supposed to have a meeting in twenty minutes with a representative from the Summer Court. She pushed the papers aside and took a sip of her now cold tea, glancing out the window. Her office faced the city and Sidra — it was well situated, especially now that it was snowing. Nothing compared to this perfect view and the fire crackling in the fireplace a few feet away from her.

She ran her thumb across her ring from Cassian, and she almost tapped it twice, but someone knocked on her door. It was Eleri, a smile glued to his face as always.

‘Miss Archeron, I’m afraid your four o’clock meeting has been cancelled,’ he informed her, still smiling like he was telling her some good news. ‘The lady had come down with the flu and asked me to reschedule this morning.’

_This morning?_

‘Then why the hell are you just telling me that?’ She snapped.

‘Oh, uh, I-I forgot? I’m so sorry, please don’t kill me!’

Sighing, Nesta waved towards the door. ‘Go, please.’

He nodded and took his leave. Now what? Could she go home? No, she still needed to finish these piles.

While she read, signed and looked over documents, Nesta couldn’t help but think about going home, getting into bed and reading a book. But they were all supposed to go out for dinner, and then stop by Feyre’s to drop her a couple of things off. She needed to postpone reading for a little bit.

Her office door opened again but she was in the middle of signing something, so she couldn’t look up. ‘Eleri, if you’re here to deliver bad news or annoy me again, I _will_ turn you into a frog before you can apologise.’

‘I don’t think I’d make a very attractive frog.’

She looked up to find Aedan smiling coyly at her, his tie loose and shirt wrinkled. His dark brown hair was dishevelled, but at least he’d let Nesta cut it shorter earlier this week — it used to get into his eyes all the time and it drove her mad. He dropped his bag on the floor and closed the door.

‘Hey, mom. Are you busy?’

‘For my favourite son? Never.’

‘I’m your _only_ son.’

He sat down in one of the armchairs in front of her desk, surveying the large pile of documents. ‘Had a lot of work today?’

‘Oh, you have no idea, but you’re the perfect excuse not to finish it. How come you’re here? Didn’t you have training with the twins?’

‘I asked Azriel if it was alright for me to skip. I wasn’t feeling like it.’

Her motherly instincts kicked in at once.

‘Why? What happened? Do you feel ill?’

He looked perfectly fine. Not tired or weary, and he didn’t seem to be in a pesky mood.

‘I’m fine, don’t worry. I just had a rough day at school.’

Oh. _That_.

Nesta stood up from her chair and leaned on the front of her desk, combing a hand through his hair so she could see his adorable face and sharp, cat-like eyes better. He despised it when she referred to his face as being ‘adorable’, but she couldn’t help it. In the last three years, Aedan grew to be tall, taller than his sisters, his facial features beginning to sharpen, and he wasn’t a lanky child anymore. Training helped with that, of course.

‘What happened?’

‘Two boys shoved me during our break, but I didn’t want to hit them back, ‘cause then I would’ve probably broken their noses. Evie got into it, though.’

‘What? Cauldron, not again,’ she mumbled, rubbing her temples. ‘How come I wasn’t called in?’

‘The teachers didn’t see, and Rheya and I managed to pull her away after she landed two punches. Nothing bad happened. Please don’t tell dad about this? She made me promise not to tell.’

Of course Evie wouldn’t want Cassian to know, given that he made it clear that if she got into more fights at school, she’d have to take a break from training. Nesta agreed with it; she was too volatile when she got angry.

‘I won’t, since it was for a good cause,’ she winked. ‘But why did they shove you? Do you want me to talk to the teachers, or parents?’

‘No, I think they’ll leave me alone after today,’ he said, playing with his tie. ‘They just don’t like me. Three years and I’m still the new kid from the Hewn city,’ he rolled his eyes.

‘Darling, I hope you’re not listening to what they’re telling you. They don’t know anything about you.’

He nodded, but Nesta didn’t notice the way his whole body relaxed. Aedan didn’t admit it, but he still needed to know that the place where he was born didn’t make him a bad person in the least. He wasn’t part of them; his home was here, in Velaris.

‘I know. Thank you.’

Nesta wanted to ask more about these boys — just to send an anonymous message to their parents, no biggie — when someone knocked on her door.

‘Come in!’

‘Hey aunt Nes, sorry to barge in, is Aedan— oh, here you are!’

Caiden walked in, also in his uniform, though they couldn’t have been more different. Caiden’s was pristine, his jet black hair neatly arranged, his icy blue eyes shining with his usual exuberance. He was only eleven, but he was still tall, and had so much of his father and mother in him, it was endearing.

He was also the sweetest boy she knew, and she loved him to death.

‘We were supposed to walk home together. What happened?’

Realisation dawned on Aedan’s face. ‘I’m so sorry, Cay, I completely forgot.’

‘It’s fine, I heard about the fight. Are you okay?’

‘I’m okay,’ her son replied, a soft smile on his face.

Their friendship was priceless. Since the very beginning, Caiden went out of his way to befriend Aedan, who was reluctant to talk to anyone he didn’t know. He was still like that, though, but his confidence grew tenfold. Now they saw each other everyday, spent time together during lunch at school, walked home together with the girls. They were thick as thieves.

‘How about we all walk home together? I’m mostly done here, and I’m tired as hell. Just let me get my coat and we can all go.’

They nodded, Caiden moving to sit on the empty armchair next to Aedan, asking more about the fight and who the bullies were. Nesta lingered long enough behind the door to hear their names, and with a devious smirk, she went to pick up her things.

* * *

‘Can we go shopping? I want a new coat.’

‘Oh, if we go shopping, can we also stop by the bookstore? I saw a new book about wildlife that I really want!’

‘And shoes. Some shoes wouldn’t hurt.’

Cassian listened to his girls ramble about what they wanted for approximately one minute. They tended to do that mostly with him, knowing that he didn’t have it in him to refuse any of their whims, but Nesta gave him a talk a few weeks ago that he couldn’t buy them everything they wanted just because they asked nicely. When he asked why, she simply said that they’d grow up to be spoiled girls who would take advantage of everything and everyone.

He still failed to see what the big deal was. That meant they were resourceful.

‘No, and no,’ he said to each of them. ‘You got a new coat two weeks ago,’ he pointed towards her long, cream-coloured coat with fur lining, ‘and your mom bought you like three books this week. You can’t tell me that you’ve read every single one of them.’

They frowned at the same time, which made him laugh.

They’ve been waiting outside Rory’s kindergarten for about five minutes now, and she was supposed to come out any second. The snow started to set on the ground, and Cassian promised them that they could have a snowball fight tonight if it would continue to snow. Despite his protests, Evie kept taking off her hat, saying that it bothered her, and Rheya was growing impatient. Her blue coat was covered in snowflakes, but unlike her sister, she kept her hat and scarf on, looking like an absolute angel. Evie looked like a rebellious one, especially when she tried to skip rope with her own scarf.

‘Okay, you, come here,’ he motioned for Evie. He took the scarf from her hands, gave it a good shake for the snow to fall, then circled her neck with it and stuffed the ends inside her coat. ‘You’re sweaty and you’ll catch a cold. You think I want your mom to kill me? No.’

She gave him a sly grin as he took her hat out of her pocket and put it back on her head. ‘Then why don’t you also wear a hat?’

‘Because I’m not a child,’ he winked, which he knew would annoy her.

‘You act like one.’

‘I don’t!’

‘You do!’ She stomped her foot, making Rheya sigh.

‘You both act like children.’

‘You love us anyway,’ Evie mused, hugging Rheya despite her protests. ‘What’s taking her so long? Go in and sneak her out.’

He was actually considering it, but then the front doors opened, and small children began pouring out like ants. Yelling ensued quickly enough as they spotted their parents waiting, and the twins winced.

‘Children are so loud,’ Rheya said.

’So were you, don’t worry.’

_‘Daddy!’_

He couldn’t contain his enormous smile as his littlest daughter came running at him, coat hanging on one arm and scarf halfway stuffed inside her pink backpack. She was waving a piece of paper in the air, her brown hair whipping side to side in her ponytail.

‘There’s my little girl!’

He bent down to pick her up as soon as she was out the gates. As she always did, Rory wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a hug, barely surprising her energy.

‘How was school today?’

‘Boring. Look what I made! Evie, Rheya, come see!’

They all squeezed into a tight circle to peer at Rory’s newest drawing. It was their family, but made of sticks and weird geometrical forms — Cassian with a big grin on his face, an overly long arm draped around Nesta, who had an unusual bright smile. Then the twins, which looked exactly the same (even the dresses), except for their respective hair colours. Rheya was sitting next to what seemed to be a pile of books, while Evie had about three different weapons in each hand. She drew Aedan with his arms crossed and a bored expression on his face, making him taller than the girls, which he knew annoyed them, and Rory was at the end of the line, wearing a bright pink dress and pigtails. She also forgot to draw one of Nesta’s arms and Aedan’s feet, but despite that, it seemed perfect.

‘Why do I look so small? I’m not _that_ small,’ Evie grumbled.

‘I actually like it,’ Rheya grinned. ‘It’s a really good drawing, Rory. I like how you forgot to draw Aedan’s feet.’

‘I— What?’

Before she had a chance to reexamine her drawing and probably get upset, Cassian set her down on the ground, handing the drawing to Rheya to hold.

‘We’ll put it on the fridge when we get back home!’ He tried to distract her. ‘Now let’s put your coat on, and… Rory, where’s your shoe?’

All of them glanced at Rory’s feet. She only had one purple boot over her thick rainbow stockings, her favourite, but the other one was missing.

‘I just noticed,’ she winced. ‘I was in a hurry to come out and see you, so I guess I forgot. It’s fine, I’ll get it tomorrow!’

He always marvelled at her bright, cheerful personality. How was she even real?

‘Okay, we’ll get it tomorrow, but put this on properly or you’ll catch a cold.’

While he tried to button her coat as fast as he could and put on her scarf and hat, Rory asked the girls how training was. Evie said that it was annoying, throwing him a pointed glance, at which he just rolled his eyes, and Rheya told her about the book she had been reading. She listened intently, even though she probably didn’t care much about it, but Rory adored the twins too much to ever ignore them. She loved spending time with them.

‘Alright, all done, you should survive like this until we get home,’ he said, making her giggle. ‘Any more complaints, missing objects or discarded clothes I should know about before we head home?’

They all shook their heads, and Cassian picked Rory up. He wasn’t going to let her walk without one of her shoes on.

The town was busier than usual. Everyone was out and about, children playing in the streets, excited that it was finally snowing. Some recognised the twins and said hello to them, and by the looks on the girls’ faces, he knew they’d want to go out and play later as well. Fae began hanging out Yule decorations, music rang from the city centre and the smell of fire and pastries filled the streets.

He loved this period. It was the best time of the year.

The girls went on and on about what gifts they wanted for Yule, and Rory began bouncing in his arms with excitement when he said they could go sleigh riding if it kept snowing. Familiar Fae waved at them every now and then, giving them huge smiles, and the girls, walking hand in hand and not bickering for once, looked excited as they spoke about the winter break, which started next week.

As they neared the house, Cassian was busy explaining to Rory why they gave each other gifts and celebrated Yule, but Rheya shook him by the sleeve of his coat.

‘Isn’t that mom there?’

He surveyed the crowd, trying to spot his mate, but— oh, there she was. Clad in her long, dark-green coat with a matching hat, Nesta was walking with Aedan and his nephew on each side, talking about something he couldn’t hear. Without saying a word, he tugged on their bond, making her stop in her tracks and look back with assessing eyes.

As soon as those icy eyes landed on them, a smile broke on her face.

‘And I was hoping I’d beat you at getting home faster,’ she said as soon as they reached them. ‘Hi, darlings,’ she said, hugging the twins briefly before they slipped away to Aedan and Caiden.

Those two were about to come say hello as well before the twins snatched them by their sleeves and continued to walk towards the house, probably filling them in on what happened. Cassian wasn’t surprised in the least.

‘Hey, Rory, how was— Where’s your shoe?’ She squinted her eyes at her bare leg. ‘I remember giving you two of those this morning.’

‘I forgot it inside. I was excited to leave,’ she explained, her smile so wide that Cassian could count all of her missing teeth.

‘How can I even complain about that when you’re so damn cute,’ Nesta said, taking her into her arms. ‘You’re the most adorable kid in the whole world, I swear.’

‘And what about me?’

They both regarded him with a look that said, _‘you’re not part of this conversation’_. Of course.

‘You’re the cutest man-child, if that helps,’ Nesta said, then kissed him briefly anyway. He only managed to steal two kisses before Rory pretended to gag.

‘Child here,’ she informed them. ‘Can we go home? I’m hungry.’

They continued their walk towards their home, filling each other in on what happened during their day. Cassian told her about the shipments they sent to the Illyrian camps for winter and the fights he got into during his training, then how his own daughter got into a fight during training. Like father, like daughter, he guessed.

Nesta wasn’t even fazed by that. They all got used to Evie’s temperament. She told him how her meeting got cancelled, all the boring paperwork she had to take care of, and then how Aedan showed up at her office.

‘Azriel told me that he wasn’t in the mood for training and that he went home. Is he fine?’

She made a _so-so_ gesture with her head. ‘I think the kids at school are being mean to him. I got their names, so I’ll take care of it tomorrow.’

‘No, give me their names, I’ll talk to their parents.’

Nesta laughed. ‘I’m not giving you their names, who knows what you’ll end up doing or saying?’

‘What do you think I’m gonna do or say? I’ll just tell them to mind their own kids and that if they want to pick on my son again, I’ll make sure there’s a special spot in the He—‘ he stopped short when he realised Rory was listening. Taking a deep breath, he mumbled ‘Fine, you can deal with it.’

It killed him that Aedan was being picked on by those vulture kids at school. Unlike Rheya, who went through something similar a few years ago, Aedan didn’t seem all that bothered by it, but it bothered the hell out of him. He was a tough kid, he knew, but that didn’t mean that others had to test his limits. Cassian wasn’t going to allow them to.

Despite that, he made so much progress in the past three years. He began school and was doing so good; top grades, along with Rheya, and the teachers loved him. Two years ago, he discovered that he had a flicker of power, after which he began training with Amren. Air powers, which shocked them all.

Air powers were, in Amren’s not-so-humble opinion, both a nuisance and a great advantage. Very unpredictable, dangerous and sometimes hard to control, given that air was everywhere. It wasn’t like fire or water; for those, you usually needed a source. With air… you could use your powers anywhere, anytime. You could end someone’s life by taking the air out of their lungs, striking them with a lightning or charging the air surround them with toxins. He wasn’t particularly excited about those possibilities.

Rory had the same abilities as well, though she was still at the beginning. She manifested a little over a year ago by shoving some toys off the table without using her hands. Nesta had been so excited that she barely slept that night, and frankly, so was he.

As soon as they got home, they found the kids in the kitchen, eating junk food and talking about school gossip. Nesta went upstairs to help Rory change into warmer clothes while Cassian was supposed to make her lunch — but it could wait a couple more minutes.

‘Hi, uncle Cass!’ Caiden waved at him.

He ruffled his nephew’s hair, knowing that just like Aedan, he’d protest to being hugged. Boys.

‘Hey, buddy. How are you?’

‘Tired. School is killing us.’

‘Can’t say that I can relate. Better than being in a war, though.’

The twins rolled their eyes.

‘Yeah, we get it, you fought in wars. Can you pass me the whipped cream, please?’ Rheya asked, pointing towards the bottle on the counter.

Feeling just a little bit hurt, Cassian gave her the whipped cream.

‘Brats. Caiden, do your parents know you’re here?’

‘Nah. They’ll figure it out eventually,’ he said, stuffing his face with waffles.

Perfect. He wondered who’d barge in first; Rhys, frantic and worried, or Feyre, who was used to her son popping up at their house almost every day?

‘Can’t wait. Aedan, are you okay? Az told me you weren’t in the mood for training today.’

Aedan raised a shoulder, mouth full. ‘Just wanted a little break,’ he said, then took the bottle of whipped cream, tipped his head back and filled his mouth with it. If Nesta saw him, she’d lose her mind.

He didn’t want to ask him right now if he was sure, because the others would get worried, and Aedan didn’t like it when anyone was worried about him, so he chose to talk to him about this later.

‘Okay, but you won’t say no to a snowball fight later, will you?’

The corners of his mouth turned upwards. ‘I would never.’

‘Great. Now how about some real lunch? Nesta will kill you if she sees you eating this junk.’

* * *

‘Hello, anyone home? I’m looking for my runaway kid!’

Nesta tried to open her mouth and shout that they were in the backyard, but she was cut shot when a huge snowball hit her right in her left breast. Bewildered, she searched for the culprit.

Cassian stood a few feet away from him, a mocking smile on his face. ‘If it helps, I was actually aiming for your ass.’

‘Dad, gross, shut up!’ Rheya bellowed from where she was building a snowman with Caiden.

‘We’re back here, mom!’

‘You’re going to pay for this,’ was all she said before taking some snow into her hands and shaping it into a ball. ‘I may have put a rock inside as well.’

She didn’t have time to even finish it, because Cassian was upon her in a heartbeat, squashing another snowball right on top of her head. Laughing and groaning from the icy water dripping down her back, Nesta managed to sneak one hand between his arms and push her own snowball right into his face.

‘Go, mom, beat him!’ She heard Rory cheer.

‘Now you’re going to pay for that.’

There was no time to attempt to run away. Without warning, Cassian gripped her hips and swiped his leg under hers, making her lose her balance and fall backwards. To his credit, Cassian didn’t let go of her completely, but pushed her straight into a boulder of snow, making her squirm and try to push him off.

‘Cheater! Get off!’ She shouted, but he was unmovable.

‘Aww, really? How’s this?’

He threw some more snow on her face, making her cry out.

_‘Cassian!’_

‘What? Did you say you want more? Coming right up!’

Her stomach hurt from laughing so hard, even as her whole front was covered in snow, and her face was practically frozen. She tried to wipe most of it away, but it still got into her mouth, soaked her coat and most of her back. Her ass was practically an icicle.

‘You fit the description of what I think that monster from the library looks like. Scarier, even,’ he laughed, ignoring her jabs in his stomach. ‘You want me to get off?’

‘Yes!’

He surveyed her bright red face, the tears streaming down her face which mixed with the melted snow, and the grin she couldn’t contain.

‘Nah, I don’t think so,’ he shrugged, then threw more snow on her face.

‘Fight, fight, fight!’

Before any of them could look to see what was going on, Evie jumped on Cassian’s back and smacked a huge snowball right in his face, prompting him to let go of Nesta. And then Rory jumped in as well, attempting to throw a snowball at Cassian, but hit Nesta’s thigh instead. That didn’t stop her from jumping on Cassian as well.

‘Don’t you murder our mother, she’s the one keeping this house from burning to the ground!’ Evie yelled, strangling him.

‘Yeah, what she said!’ Rory approved, pushing him off of Nesta.

Cassian was so busy laughing that he didn’t even fight back. He got pushed onto his back, Evie scrambling for more snow to hit him with, while Rory was piling more onto his legs.

‘My own children betraying me,’ he sighed, wiping his red face. ‘What has the world come to?’

Nesta found the strength to kneel into the snow and motioned for her daughter to come closer. ‘Let’s make a big one.’

As Cassian attempted to fight off Evie, who was relentless and probably wet to the skin, the two of them made the biggest snowball they could manage, picked it up together, then aimed for Cassian. Coincidentally, it hit Evie in the shoulder, then the rest fell on Cassian’s face.

‘Oops,’ Nesta winced, trying hard not to laugh at Evie’s shocked expression. ‘Bad aim?’

‘And here I was, trying to save you,’ she shook her head, hair dripping wet.

‘Here you are! Gods, you look dreadful. Are you having a snowball fight?’

They all turned towards the backyard door, where Feyre was watching them with amusement. She looked like she had at least ten layers of clothes on her.

‘Yes,’ Cassian replied, breathing heavily. Noticing that Evie wasn’t paying attention, he pushed her off of him, landing face-first into the huge pile of snow. ‘Wanna join us?’

‘Child abuse!’ Evie shouted as soon as she stood up, frantically wiping the snow off her face. ‘You’re going to regret this.’

‘I’d love nothing more than to be maimed by Evie, but I can’t,’ Feyre replied, pointing towards her belly. ‘I don’t think this one would agree.’

While Evie resumed fighting Cassian, which ended with her buried in the snow mountain each time, Nesta stood up and shook the snow that covered her. Rory joined them, too, but since she was only six years old and would probably burst into tears if Cassian pushed her too hard, he asked her to make more snowballs to throw at Evie.

‘I’m sorry, I know we were supposed to come over, but we got caught up doing… this,’ she explained, gesturing towards the mess. ‘I can’t even feel my toes anymore. How are you feeling?’

Feyre shrugged. ‘Huge. I didn’t miss this part of being pregnant.’

Nesta took a look at her protruded belly. Even with all those clothes, there was no mistake; she was heavily pregnant, with only a few weeks until her due date. Looking at her like that, hands cradling her bump unconsciously, the starstruck smile on her face, Nesta was overflowed with happiness for her sister. This time it was a girl, and when her and Rhys found out, Feyre said that she couldn’t remember who cried the most. They both hoped for a little girl this time, and they got her.

‘Let’s go inside and make some tea, I’m freezing my ass off. Don’t kill each other!’ She shouted at the kids, but they paid her no attention. Rheya and Caiden were still busy building that snowman, and Cassian had his hands full with Evie and Rheya.

‘Where’s Aedan?’ Feyre asked as they walked inside, Nesta discarding her wet coat and drenched boots near the door. She needed to change.

‘He went back inside like ten minutes ago, he was freezing to death. I’ll go change and come back.’

‘Alright, I’ll put the kettle on. What tea do you want?’

‘Doesn’t matter, as long as you pour some alcohol in as well!’ She yelled as she headed for her bedroom.

* * *

They went inside the house well after dark, all of them wet and shivering. Rheya and Caiden were the only ones intact, since they didn’t play in the snow like them, which gave them a reason to mock them. Evie’s face was red and her hair hung in strings laced with snow, but her cheerful smile let him know that she couldn’t care one bit. When he saw that Rory’s lips were turning blue, Cassian swore under his breath, took off her coat and boots and tried to get away before Nesta could see. She warned him to be careful.

Thankfully, she was in the kitchen with Feyre, drinking tea and talking. Rheya went in with Caiden as well, Evie following him upstairs.

‘Where are you guys going?’

‘Rory’s freezing, I’m going to give her a quick bath. You should take one as well, I can sense you shivering from here.’

‘I’m not!’

‘Uh-uh. Go warm up.’

Mumbling, Evie went straight to her room, probably to change. Rory wasn’t too preoccupied about being cold; she was in a good mood, rambling on about building more snowmen tomorrow, and she made him promise that they’d give them some clothes as well, in case they got cold. As soon as the tub filled with warm water and she got inside, hands going straight for the dolls they kept in a box on the edge, Cassian tried to explain to her that snowmen didn’t really get cold, since they were made of snow. Rory refused to believe him.

‘They need clothes, just like us,’ she insisted.

‘Okay, I get the clothes, but why would they need swords as well?’

‘What if they get attacked by other snowmen while we sleep?’ She asked, dead serious.

Cassian didn’t have it in him to contradict her.

As soon as she was back to her normal colour and spotless, he took her out of the tub and enveloped her in a big towel, drying her hair.

‘Are you guys done? I wanna take a shower as well.’

Evie peeked inside, holding her pyjamas and looking as impatient as ever.

‘I thought you weren’t cold.’

‘I changed my mind. Can I come in?’

‘Yes, we’re all done,’ he said, picking Rory in his arms. ‘Will you come downstairs afterwards?’

Evie nodded, setting her clothes on top of the drawers. ‘Wanna play cards?’

‘No need to ask me twice. See you there.’

They went to Rory and Aedan’s bedroom (Rory was very persistent on sharing, even though Cassian knew that he wanted his own space from time to time) and knocked twice.

‘Come in!’

Aedan was sitting at his desk, which was piled high with books and sheets of paper filled with scribbling. He didn’t even look up from whatever he was writing about. ‘Finally froze out there?’

He set Rory on her bed, then searched for the thickest pyjamas he could find in her dresser.

‘Yeah, I managed to sneak away before Nesta could see Rory’s blue lips. We had a blast, though. You should’ve stayed.’

‘I wanted to, but I still have to finish these things, and I’m behind in at least two classes, and Amren gave me like two books to read until next week. I don’t think I can cover it all.’

‘Dad, tell him to take a break,’ Rory said, lifting her arms so he could put on her wool sweater. ‘He’s studying even after we’re supposed to go to sleep.’

‘Aedan, is that true?’ He asked, motioning for Rory to put one leg inside her pants, then the other. ‘We talked about this.’

He didn’t reply, continuing to write. Sighing, Cassian put on Rory’s socks, then planted a kiss on top of her wet hair. ‘You’re all done now. Why don’t you go downstairs and drink some tea? Persuade your mom to give you some cookies.’

At the sound of cookies, Rory almost bolted out the door. Anything that contained sugar, Rory would eat it.

As soon as she left, Cassian folded her discarded towel, set it on her bedrail, then sat down.

‘You’re pushing yourself too hard, you know that, right?’

Aedan put his pen down, then turned his chair around to face him at last. He looked tired, and it killed him.

‘I know, but it’s fine.’

‘Why would you think that it’s fine? Not even Rheya studies this much, and she’s pretty much a nerd. Don’t tell her I said that,’ he added quickly, earning a small smile from him. ‘But really, why would you do this?’

Aedan shrugged, fiddling with the ends of his sweater. He still did that whenever he felt anxious.

‘I feel like I have to. I almost failed my first year, and the others wouldn’t stop making fun of me, so I’m trying to change that. I don’t like it when they call me stupid or an idiot. And with Rheya it’s different, you know that. She learned how to read when she was what, four? Five? She’s a natural at this. And she helps me all the time, but I feel bad to ask her every time to explain something that I should’ve probably known by now. It’s not her job to make sure I catch up to everything.’

‘Aedan, what do you even need to catch up on? You have some of the best grades in your class. You’re far from being an idiot or stupid. You can’t listen to what those idiots say about you, because frankly, they don’t know the first thing about you.’

He fell quiet, making his chest contract. When they moved here, it struck him that Aedan wasn’t sure how to navigate these waters. He was always on his tiptoes, waiting for the next bad thing to happen, always keeping an eye on his sister, but when the realisation that nothing bad would occur anymore, he was lost. What was he supposed to do with his life?

But now there was this incessant need to prove himself. Despite all of their support, their long talks and distractions, it wouldn’t vanish. Not yet.

‘Did I tell you about the first time I came to Velaris?’

Aedan shook his head.

‘I was around your mother’s age, if not a big younger, if I recall correctly. Rhys had just been made High Lord, and asked me and Azriel to move to Velaris with him. He didn’t want to be alone and we were the only friends he had and trusted, along with Mor and Amren. When I saw how these Fae live, how they dressed, how fancy they were…’ he laughed incredulously at the memory. ‘I didn’t think it was possible to feel so inadequate. You should’ve seen me. Straight from the mountains, dressed in animal skins and battle clothes, a hand always on the hilt of my sword. Needless to say, I used to freak out a lot of them at first.’

Aedan gave a breathless laugh, cocking his head to the side. ‘I’m guessing they were wary of you.’

‘Damn right. They thought I was going to murder them or something, even though I used to break stuff all the time by mistake and make a fool out of myself in public places. They were all so sophisticated, so careless, and it didn’t feel right at first. I wondered, how could they live without their guard up all the time? What if someone comes for them in the dead of the night? But then I began to understand that this is a place of peace, not war. War never touched them, not really. Rhys’ ancestors made sure it would be protected.’

‘Let me guess, then you began to like them more.’

Cassian made a face. ‘Not really. They were still pompous asses, and I was still considered a wildling. There were a ton shit of warriors stationed here that loved to pick on me and Azriel. They commented on our appearance, our lack of social etiquette, that we were little more than savages and war dogs. It hurt us, but despite beating them into a pulp, we couldn’t do anything. They still had the same opinions about us, no matter how much we tried to fit in. What I’m trying to tell you is, there will always be Fae or humans or whatever creatures there are out there that won’t like you for one reason or another. Burning yourself out just to attempt to please them won’t change a thing about how you feel about your own person. You think that if you’re the smartest in History or Arts, they’ll look at you with different eyes? Not likely. They pick on you because they’re afraid of you, and it’s the best mechanism for bullies.’

‘In that case, why don’t they pick on Evie as well? They’re all scared of her.’

‘Because Evie will rip their arms off without thinking twice. She doesn’t care about consequences, she listens to her gut. You know how many times we get called in because of her fights?’

‘I know. I’m usually the one trying to hold her back.’

‘They used to pick on Rheya as well because she was so quiet. She still is. She chose to ignore them, which was what she needed, but I don’t think you need the same thing.’

‘Are you… suggesting that I beat them?’

Cassian raised his palms. ‘Those words never left my mouth.’

He winked at Aedan, knowing that he got the message.

‘And you’re already so damn smart. I’m not saying to give up studying entirely, but you don’t need to push yourself so hard. You’re still a kid, even though I know you don’t like it when I say that, and you should have more fun. Burn stuff, get into trouble, do more of the things you love. You have a huge family that adores you and would love to spend more time with you, and so many others Fae in the city who want to get to know you better. Let them, and I’ll promise you that it’ll be worth it in the end.’

Cassian anxiously waited for his reply; Aedan had quite a hard face to read sometimes. It’d be a lie to say that it didn’t unnerve him sometimes.

But then he closed his books and shoved them under his desk.

‘Alright, you convinced me. I’m not touching those until the next semester of school begins.’

He was on the verge of saying that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to throw Amren’s book away, since she’d probably hex him, but the words couldn’t leave his mouth when Aedan crossed the room and hugged him.

‘Thanks, dad. I needed that.’

Cassian hugged him back, smiling like an idiot.

He called him dad for the first time three years ago, but it still felt new. When he said it for the first time, Cassian choked, then proceeded to cry. In front of everyone. A very ugly sort of crying that made everyone laugh to tears. Cassian couldn’t have cared less; Aedan called him dad, and it meant the world to him.

‘Anytime, son. How about we go horseback riding tomorrow? You love horses.’

‘As long as I don’t get that frivolous mare of yours that bites, I’m in.’


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy holidays everyone!!  
> I thought I should update this fic today, since it's Christmas Eve, and the topic is sort of related to that. I hope everyone is safe, happy (as one can be rn, anyway..) and has a wonderful break.   
> Again, thank you so much for reading/commenting on this fic. It's what kept me writing this entire year <3

Yule approached fast, and with it, the Starfall celebration and Feyre’s birthday. It was, in Nesta’s opinion, the busiest period of the year. She spent endless hours shopping with Cassian for gifts while trying to find some for each other as well; without them figuring out what, of course. As the kids grew, it was harder and harder to find something that they’d like. With the others, they got whatever they thought it suited them. They were too tired to put too much thought into it. She hoped Azriel liked this new invention that made waffles in no time and Elain some rare flower seeds they managed to get at a reasonable price. For Feyre, they had to get a grander gift, since it was also her birthday, so they got her a magical bow that never missed its mark, along with some baby stuff that she knew she’d love. Mor would get some dazzling jewelleries, Roslyn a cookbook with new recipes from the continent and some rare herbs and spaces, and for Amren and Rhys, weapons. Their brains turned to mush by the time they got to them, but they made sure they were going to be to their liking.

As for the kids… Gods, it took them days to decide what to get them.

They started banging on their door at the crack of dawn like their life depended on it.

‘Told you,’ she snickered under the covers.

‘I thought they’d at least wait until _after_ dawn,’ Cassian grumbled, refusing to open his eyes.

Not waiting for their reply, the children ran inside their bedroom, jumping on the bed. Good thing they were both wearing clothes, knowing that this would happen.

‘Yule morning, Yule morning!’ Evie roared. ‘Come on, wake up!’

‘Can we open the presents now? Please, please!’ Rory pleaded.

Rheya pulled the covers off their faces. Nesta squinted, her eyes barely adjusting to the bright rays of sunshine. ‘What are you still doing in bed? It’s Yule, there are presents we need to open!’

Even Aedan was here, sitting on the edge of their bed and grinning as his sister jumped up and down on the bed.

‘Even you, Aedan? I was hoping at least one of you would still be sleeping,’ Cassian groaned.

‘I was actually the one who woke them up. I’m not going to say no to presents.’

‘We corrupted him,’ Rheya grinned, circling her arms around his neck. ‘He’s on our side.’

‘Can’t we get one more hour of sleep?’ Nesta tried, burying her face in the pillow. ‘I’m tired.’

Cassian nodded. ’So am I. See you in a bit.’

That caused havoc. They began pulling at their arms and legs, trying to get them out of bed, Rheya even threatening to open the gifts without them. Rory said she’d start crying if she had to wait one more minute, and Evie was basically in a frenzy.

It was Aedan who persuaded them, in the end.

‘You know we didn’t have gifts in the Hewn city,’ he sighed dramatically. ‘I always saw other children receive presents and wondered if I’d ever have a family who’d get me something for Yule. I never thought I’d actually come true, but now you’re depriving me that joy because you want to sleep.’

Silence fell across the room. The girls stopped bouncing on the bed.

‘Emotional blackmail,’ said Cassian, a hint of approval in his voice. ‘Can’t say that I’m not impressed.’

Nesta took a good look at Aedan, and when she saw that he was trying hard not to laugh, she reached across the bed and hauled him in the safety of her arms.

‘That was a horrible persuasion tactic. I hate you, but I’m proud of you. Turn into a politician when you grow up,’ she said, pestering him with kisses. ‘Let’s go open those gifts. You can have all the gifts in the world.’

Laughing, Aedan tried to stand up, but she wasn’t ready to let go just yet.

‘I had a feeling that it was going to work. Done now?’

‘One more,’ she said, kissing his forehead. Cassian fist-bumped him, pride flaring in his eyes.

‘Come on, everyone, downstairs! Let’s rip those presents open!’

Rory was the first one out the door, followed by Evie. Rheya was pulling Cassian by the arm, telling him to move faster, and then shot Nesta a glare.

‘What are you still doing there? Let go of him, you’re going to suffocate him! Come on, we’ll open them without you!’

Grumbling, Nesta got out of bed, put on her robe and made her way downstairs with Aedan. Even he was unusually excited.

Cassian held up both his arms before the girls could dive in for the presents. ‘Everything is colour coded! Yellow for Rheya, red for Evie, blue for Aedan, pink for Rory! Go!’

He got out of the way just in time. All of them raced towards their respective presents, which were equal in number. They made sure of that.

While they were momentarily distracted, Nesta wrapped her arms around Cassian’s waist, looking up at his handsome face. His hair was all ruffled from sleeping, curling at the nape of his neck, and there was even more stubble than usual on his face. She loved how it made him look; and how if felt when that face explored certain regions of her body.

‘Really?’ He chuckled, twisting in her arms to face her. ‘They’re opening presents and you’re thinking about _that?’_

Nesta made an innocent face, twirling one strand of hair between her fingers. ‘Can you blame me? I’m addicted to you.’

When he cupped her cheek and rubbed his thumb across it, looking at her in that adoring way that got her weak in the knees, Nesta forgot all about the chaos around them. She was a lovestruck young girl over and over again, relishing in the freedom of finally opening up her heart to the right person. Would she ever be able to tell him how much better life was with him by her side?

He closed the space between their mouths, kissing her lips gently. His free arm fell to the small of her back, running his fingers on her spine.

‘I know,’ he said, pressing his forehead against hers. ‘I know, sweetheart.’

‘When can I get you all to myself? We haven’t had a day alone in forever,’ she complained.

Then he winked at her, his typical smirk that indicated that he had something cooking up, resurfacing. It wasn’t always good news.

‘What—‘

‘You’ll see. Now come on, I don’t wanna miss the look on their faces.’

He sat on the couch by the Yule tree, tugging Nesta to sit on his lap. She rested her head against his and watched as Rheya unpacked her newest collection of encyclopaedias and magic books, Aedan his first collection of daggers, which he had been eyeing in a weapons shop, Rory her multiple toys, dolls and live-size princess castle (that Cassian and Azriel had spent endless hours trying to build), and Evie her huge jewellery box (she really wanted a ‘grown up’ jewellery box, since she was a hoarder) and then her first short sword.

Her look of pure shock made the two of them burst into laughter.

‘Can I actually keep _this?’_ She asked, watching the sword in awe.

‘After endless debates,’ Cassian said, ‘I guess it’s time for you to have your own sword. I asked the best blacksmiths in the Illyrian Mountains to have it done for your size and weight, so the grip should be fine. We can practice later, if you’d like.’

Evie pulled the sword out of its sheath, its golden-encrusted hilt shining in the morning light. The metal was carved with Illyrian blessings and other traditional stuff that Nesta couldn’t decipher, but when she analysed it more closely, dragging her fingers across the blade, her eyes became glossy.

‘I can’t believe you got me a sword,’ she said, testing its grip and weight. ‘It’s perfect! Thank you, thank you, I love you so much!’

She put it back in its sheath as fast as she could, then jumped in their arms, kicking her feet up in the air.

‘Don’t use it inside!’ Nesta said, hugging her back

‘Wasn’t going to!’

‘Oh my gods, where did you get this?!’

Rheya got to her newest flying leathers, complete with more places to hold weapons, lighter than the usual ones, and ideal for any weather condition. It would keep her heat inside during colder months, but it would be breathable during summer. Nesta had it commissioned from an acquaintance in the Dawn Court, since they were crafty, and created the perfect flying leathers for her daughter.

‘Dawn Court,’ Nesta replied with a proud smile. ‘Special order for the best flyer in the Night Court.’

While she freaked out over that, the others went through the clothes they got — despite the objects, they also got them new clothes — and Evie let out the loudest squeal at her new dresses, sewn by the best seamstresses in Prythian. Nesta made the orders months ago. So were Rory and Rheya’s, and she laughed when Rory cried out in joy when she saw her princess costumes.

‘They’re from the fairytales books! They’re so beautiful!’

They got Aedan more of… well, everything. He didn’t particularly like shopping, so Nesta got him new clothes for every possible occasion. Shirts, sweaters, pants, shoes, warm coats and three more official attires for formal dinner parties. Cassian got him the best training clothes they could find. He elbowed Nesta, pointing discreetly towards his dumbfounded expression.

Each year, Aedan would react the same way at the amount of gifts he’d receive. The first time, he was actually shocked that he got any gifts at all, and it made Nesta’s eyes overflow with tears. Cassian sat down on the floor next to him, an arm draped over his then small shoulders, and told him that everyone got gifts, no exception, then proceeded to open them with him. His usual frown and incertitude turned into a huge smile as he looked over all their gifts for him. Even the twins chipped in; they made him drawings, wrote him cards, even gifted him some of their favourite weapons and training equipment because they were ‘ _their lucky charms, and he needed all the luck in the world with their family.’_

There was one box left, wrapped in blue paper. Aedan unwrapped it carefully, giving them a strange look.

‘What’s in here? Don’t tell me it’s something fancy. You know I don’t like fancy stuff.’

‘Just open it,’ Nesta prompted him, brimming with excitement.

When he finally did, Aedan’s scowled.

‘A… bridle?’

He looked to them for explanation, clearly not understanding.

‘Should I use it on Aurora’s stuffed animals?’

‘Even better,’ Cassian replied, giving Nesta a sly look. ‘Should I do the honours?’

‘What’s going on?’ Asked Rheya.

‘Be my guest.’

Cassian cleaned his throat before continuing, tapping his fingers nervously against Nesta’s thigh. He was just as excited as she was.

‘Remember that sickly foal you saw at the stables? The one you insisted on nursing back to health?’

‘Yeah,’ he said, still not getting it.

‘Well, he’s all yours.’

Aedan’s frown didn’t disappear. ‘Do you mean…’ his eyes moved from Cassian to Nesta, then at the bridle in his hands, realisation dawning upon him. ‘You mean, you got me a horse? _Him?_ The one f-from the stables?’

‘The same one!’ Nesta beamed. ‘He’s yours. We talked with the owners of the stables. They said you get to train him and care for him. It won’t be easy work, though. You have to check up on him daily, do the groundwork, and when he’s older, get him used to the saddle, riding, being out in the open. But you loved him so much and fought for him, and he’d be lucky to have you as his rider. He got attached to you as well.’

His mouth was hanging open as he looked at the bridle again, just now noticing his name written on the fine leather.

‘I…’

He set the bridle down, stood up, and hugged them both.

‘Thank you,’ he said, his voice wavering slightly. ‘I can’t believe I get to keep him. Thank you. I love you both so much.’

Whenever he told them that he loved them, Nesta’s emotions were a whirlwind. Happiness, love, astonishment. It meant so much coming from him.

‘I can’t believe you got him a horse!’ Evie exclaimed from somewhere behind. ‘When I asked for one, you said I should keep on dreaming!’

Cassian laughed. ‘Because you’d forget about the horse in less than a week and it would probably starve to death. Trust me, the horses are better off like this.’

Evie crossed her arms. ’What makes you think he’ll take care of the horse?’

Aedan sat on the couch next to Cassian, giving Evie a sharp glare that was bound to annoy her.

‘Because I’m more responsible than you?’

‘Are you trying to annoy me?’

‘I don’t know, depends on how jealous you are right now,’ he shrugged, grinning mischievously.

‘Please don’t start fighting, it’s seven in the morning,’ Nesta pleaded.

‘Why would I be jealous of a horse? They’re dirty and smell and have flies all over them!’

‘Your face is bright red. That means you’re jealous. It’s fine, maybe I’ll let you pet him if you’re nice.’

That ticked her off.

‘You’re dead,’ was her only warning before going in for the kill.

‘Woah, woah, stop!’

Cassian put himself between the two of them just in time. He held Evie with one arm while she tried her best to get to Aedan, who was laughing so hard, tears formed in the corners of his eyes. Nesta gave him a pointed look.

‘Stop doing this to her, you know it only riles her up.’

‘I know, that’s why I do it. Plus, better to let her get it out of her system, right?’ He then circled the couch, barely managing to avoid Evie’s outstretched arms. ‘Wanna have a proper snowball fight? Bet I can get more hits than you!’

He quickly put on his shoes and coat, then ran outside before Cassian let Evie go.

‘Shoes and coat!’ Nesta yelled after her.

She mumbled under her breath while she hastily put them on, wings fluttering in anticipation, then dashed out the backyard door. ‘Come here and face your death!’

Rheya cringed. ‘Gods, does she have to be _so_ dramatic?’

‘Don’t hit each other’s faces or you’ll be grounded!’ Cassian yelled from the doorway, then shut the door.

‘Done with those two. Rory, wanna show me around your new palace? That paintwork looks so good, I wonder who did it.’

Rory popped her head out of a window, grinning like a wolf in a hen house. ‘Come see where the princesses sleep and pee!’

‘Cauldron, I hope not in the same place,’ Cassian recoiled as he bent down to peek inside.

Rheya plopped down next to Nesta, holding a huge tome in her arms.

‘Thank you for the gifts, mom,’ she said, eyes glued on the book. ‘They’re incredible. I love you.’

‘I love you, too, darling. That one’s filled with tricks for practicing your elements. It should help you more with focusing.’

Rheya looked through the pages of the book, radiating with curiosity.

Out of the two of them, Rheya was more inclined towards magic than Evie. She already exhausted herself with training and didn’t have much energy left for magic, but Rheya did the exact opposite. She practiced almost daily with Amren, and given that she had a touch more sensitivity towards the elements than Evie, it was sometimes hard for her to control them.

To her surprise, Rheya closed the book and looked at Cassian playing with Rory, then towards the door, where she could glance at Evie and Aedan tumbling in the snow. Nesta was certain she heard Evie’s typical battlecry, followed by a whimper of surprise, also made by her. She didn’t even bother to check; she knew Aedan wouldn’t actually hit her too hard or break anything.

Hopefully.

‘You know, I never told you this, but I never thought having more siblings would be fun. They get in your space, steal your stuff, never leave you alone, but now I can’t imagine how boring life would be with these idiots. They’re annoying and get in so much trouble, but I’m glad I’ll always have someone to rely on except you and dad.’

Nesta wrapped an arm around Rheya. ‘You keep them from getting into so much shit, and don’t think I don’t know that. They’re also lucky to have you — as are we. You’re perfect.’

Rheya chuckled. ‘You didn’t say that when I made some corrections with a red pen on that document.’

‘Yes, because it was an _official_ document.’

‘It’s not my fault that those Fae from the Spring Court are illiterate. Someone should point out their mistakes.’

‘I know, I know. Gods, you just had to be his smart, didn’t you?’ She laughed.

‘Someone in this family had to,’ she shrugged, leaning in her arms. ‘So, wanna show me some of these spells?’

‘No need to tell me twice. Go to my office, I’ll bring some tea and food.’

* * *

It turned out that Cassian’s surprise was leaving the children to spend the night at Mor and Roslyn’s. When he dropped them off, Ros opened the door with that dorky smile of hers.

‘Hi everyone! Come on in, I just made cupcakes!’

That got their attention.

Cassian followed them inside, enveloping Ros in a tight hug. ‘Thank you for taking them off our hands for tonight. We needed the break.’

‘Of course, you know I love them. Mor went out to buy me some groceries, but she’ll be back soon.’

‘Mor? _Groceries?’_ His eyebrows quirked up. ‘Have you broken her?’

‘Just a little bit,’ she winked, her bright red hair shimmering.

As soon as little Finian — who wasn’t so little anymore; he was five, less than a year younger than Rory — perked up when he saw all of his cousins in one room. The twins picked him up and spun him around, as they always did, making him laugh. His white hair, which was considerably longer, was tied up in an adorable little bun. When did he grow up so much?

Caiden was there as well, going straight for Aedan when he saw him. They sat down on the couch, chatting lively, while Rory begged the twins to spin her around as well.

‘I guess you’re babysitting _everyone’s_ children tonight.’

‘I don’t mind, I love them. They’re fun.’

‘Give them an hour or so until they start breaking shit. I’m leaving, don’t annoy your aunts too much!’

They didn’t even listen to him, of course.

‘See you tomorrow, Ros,’ he said, stepping outside.

‘Have fun tonight,’ she winked, eyes sparkling with mischief.

Oh, he was going to.

* * *

By fun, they both meant a quiet dinner alone at their favourite restaurant, without the need to wipe someone’s face or break any fights. They talked and drank and laughed in peace, enjoying each other’s company as they used to do years ago. They still did; but it was more difficult to focus on each other all the time.

As soon as they got home and took a long shower together, which almost never happened, Cassian took out three bottles of wine and set them on the coffee table in their living room. Nesta eyed them, barely suppressing her grin.

‘You didn’t tell me you planned on getting wasted tonight.’

‘Sweetheart, we both know I’m not getting wasted just from three bottles. Five, at least. Give me some credit.’

She put on her wooly socks as he filled their glasses, the fire crackling beside the Yule tree. Behind her, set on a high table so Rory couldn’t pull it off, was a music box that played a soft tune — a gift from the ingenious inventors from the Dawn Court.

It was so quiet without the kids. She almost expected Rheya to jump out from behind the couch to ask her a question or to braid her hair, or Evie to stomp out and complain about one of her missing ribbons. Aedan was always quiet whenever he moved around, but every now and then he’d inquire about random things, like why did they need a can opener when you could just use your teeth. Rory was always hosting parties for her toys, and they were always invited (or forced to attend).

Now, Nesta didn’t need to keep looking over her shoulder. For tonight, the house was theirs, and it would be a lie to say that she wasn’t enjoying it.

‘What are you thinking about?’ Cassian asked, sitting down next to her, pointing towards the comb on the table.

Nesta handed it to him. ‘That it’s so quiet without them. We got too used to nosy children.’

‘Is it horrible to say that I’m not missing them right now?’

Nesta laughed. ‘Just a tiny bit.’

He ran his fingers through her still wet hair, untangling it, then began combing it. He loved doing that; Nesta couldn’t reach it all the way down and she had a habit of pulling it too hard, but his hands were gentle as he worked out every knot.

‘I missed spending time alone with you like this.’

‘So did I,’ she said. ‘It’s been too long.’

‘How’s work? Killed anyone recently?’

‘Dreadful. And no, everyone’s been on their best behaviour, which is a little bit suspicious. I’m supposed to go to the Summer Court next week, do you want to come?’

‘Not if I can help it,’ he scoffed.

‘What about the kids?’

‘What about them?’

‘What if they want to come? They haven’t seen much of the other courts except the Winter Court.’

‘You know I can’t leave now, we’re in the middle of the selection for the aerial army,’ Cassian sighed. ‘But I’m not opposed to the kids coming with you, if that’s what you were thinking. They should get out more, especially Aedan.’

‘I highly doubt he’ll want to come.’

‘He will if you ask him nicely.’

Cassian braided her hair, planting a kiss into her hair once he was done. She took the glasses of wine from the table and handed him one.

‘How is the selection, anyway? You haven’t told me much about that.’

Nesta stretched her legs in front of her and leaned on Cassian’s chest. He was toying with the end of her braid in one hand, taking a long drink.

‘Tedious. I can’t wait for it to be over.’

‘That bad? Any good ones?’

‘Most of them are good, they’re just so reckless and ready to get into fights. They got into a fight with the soldiers from the Winter border just last week.’

Nesta drank half of the glass in one go. Cassian raised one brow.

‘It’s been too long, shut up.’

‘Anyway,’ he laughed. ‘I’m hoping they’ll settle down after the selection. If not, it’s the Steppes for them.’

A thought crossed Nesta’s mind. ‘Cass, have you ever spoken to the girls about the Rite?’

A shadow crossed his face, and Nesta knew that it stirred memories of his own Blood Rite. She didn’t even want to think how it must’ve been for him; surviving in those cruel mountains for days, killing your own kind, praying to make it until the next morning. Years and their traditions haven’t ceased to amaze her.

‘I don’t think you ever have to worry about that,’ he gave a breathless laugh. ‘Rheya isn’t in the least interested in that sort of brutal fighting, and I’m genuinely glad. I didn’t even need to persuade Evie, Rheya talked to her after reading more about some specific cases and told her that the chances of her surviving aren’t looking good, especially as a young girl. She complained that it’s not fair, but after I asked her if she’d prefer being dead, she relented. I explained to her that the Blood Rite isn’t what makes her a full warrior, and if she wants, she can get the siphons without participating in it. I’ll make sure of it.’

‘Favouritism, huh?’ She teased him.

‘Damn right. I’ll give her eight siphons if it means not participating in that outdated, ridiculous competition. She’s already an Illyrian and a powerful one, and so is Rheya. They don’t need to prove anything.’

‘Not that there’s anything bad with being Illyrian, but I’m glad Aedan and Rory aren’t. I can’t even picture Rory threatening someone,’ she laughed.

‘Did I tell you that a couple of days ago she saw a fisherman pull out a net of fish from the Sidra, and she cried for over half an hour about it?’

Nesta choked on her wine.

‘I didn’t even know what to say, since we had eaten fish the night before,’ he winced. ‘I said that the fish were already dead when they were pulled out, which certainly didn’t help.’

‘Gods, you’re terrible,’ she laughed.

‘I was panicking!’

After finishing those three bottles of wine, which took them a little over an hour, Nesta opened two more. Needless to say, they were drunk as fuck around midnight, stumbling in their bedroom while laughing about the stupidest little things. It felt like the old times; when they could do this at least three times a week, and calling in sick for work the next day. It happened more than once that either Rhys or Feyre would pull up at their apartment to check if they were still alive or finally died from alcohol poisoning.

Their bedroom was messier than usual. Clothes littered the floor, but neither of them had any energy to clean up. They fell face-first on the bed, huge grins splayed on their faces.

‘Are we horrible for letting them spend the Yule night with Mor and Ros?’

Nesta snorted. ‘No. Caiden and Finn are there, too, so they have plenty of company.’

‘Did you notice how well Cay and Aedan get along?’

She hummed in agreement.

‘I’m really glad they’re friends. He helped him get out of his comfort zone at school.’

‘Him and Rory are so different,’ he said, turning on his back. ‘it still baffles me how parallel their personalities are. She’s so full of sunshine and joy, and Aedan is so closed off.’

‘Don’t say that, he’s made so much progress.’

‘I know, I know, but I can tell that it’s still tough for him, especially at school. If they let him see his soft, caring side, they’d treat him differently.’

‘You’re the one to talk. You act cocky all the time and a ton shit of Fae don’t like you.’

‘They still like me better than you,’ he flipped her off.

True. She hated when he was right. It still bugged her.

‘By the way, were you going to tell me that Evie got into another fight at school?’

Oh, shit.

‘Who told you that?’ She squinted her eyes at him.

‘I have my ways.’

The kids wouldn’t snitch; not when they knew Evie’s situation. The fact that Nesta knew was an exception. So who else was there?

Nesta glared at him until he relented. ‘Okay, fine, it was the teacher’s assistant. She saw the whole thing. Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘Because she was right and I’m not okay with punishing her for standing up for Aedan.’

‘But you’re okay with her getting into so many fights?’

‘Of course not. This was a special case. By the time she’ll turn twenty, she’ll be burnt out and tired of fighting, so she should be fine. Don’t make her take time off from training, she’ll go ballistic on everyone.’

Sighing, Cassian searched for her hand. ‘I know she will, but if we act like everything’s fine, then she’ll always believe that there’s nothing wrong with fighting everyone who steps on her toes.’

‘If we take away the option of training with Azriel, which happens in a supervised environment, how else will she let off steam? It will just built and built inside her until she explodes. I don’t want that to happen.’

‘Neither do I. So… what else is left?’

Nesta struggled to come up with an answer. ‘I don’t know. We make her meditate? Maybe that will help?’

Cassian burst out laughing. Now that she thought of it better, the idea of Evie meditating, keeping still for minutes on end, seemed preposterous. A laugh built up in her throat.

‘Or not.’

‘I’ll have a talk with her one of these days and find a reason to convince her to simmer down. Maybe she’ll listen this time.’

‘Highly unlikely, but good luck.’

‘Thank you for the vote of confidence. Really helpful.’

She crawled until she was laying on his chest, dragging her fingers through his soft hair, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart. How could she even blame Evie for her behaviour, when she knew well enough how Cassian used to be? But he grew out of it; so will she, one day. As long as she wasn’t hurting those that loved her, she was going to be fine.

Cassian’s arms surrounded her like a safety net. She could stay like that forever, with his arms around her, inhaling his familiar scent, knowing that nothing in this world or any other could make her feel this safe and loved.

‘Are you falling asleep?’ He whispered.

‘Just a little,’ she replied, eyes fluttering shut. ‘Please don’t make me move. You’re so comfortable.’

‘I wasn’t going to,’ he laughed, and his entire chest vibrated. Her stomach tightened in pleasure. ‘Don’t you want your pyjamas? You hate falling asleep in day clothes.’

Nesta sat back until she was halfway upright, moving her leg on his other side so she was straddling his waist. She rejoiced in his initial confusion, then understanding when she leaned down on his hardening member. Her hands grabbed the end of her sweater, tugging it off in a swift motion.

‘How about no clothes? No one can barge in.’

A wicked grin spread across his face as he raised himself on his elbows, taking in the sight of her.

‘No need to ask me twice, sweetheart.’


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year, everyone! Here's to 2021 being better than this shitty year!

Starfall parties were Cassian’s favourite type of parties. Everyone gathered at the House of Wind in their finest garments, brimming with excitement to see the annual phenomena that left everyone speechless for several moments. When the lights began to dim and the music turned to a soft tune, paving the way for the stars to cross the sky, no one dared to say a word. Eyes were turned upwards, mouths were hanging open, and some were whispering wishes.

His family was sitting on one of the numerous balconies, the kids flocking to the front to see the show. It was one of the few moments when they didn’t need to ask them to be quiet; they were in awe of the spectacle that took place above their heads. Nesta was sitting in front of him, her back pressed into his front, looking up with a look of pure joy and longing. He squeezed her tighter, barely managing to look up at the sky and not her — she was his favourite sight, no matter how glorious Starfall was.

Everyone cheered as the stars began to fade. Some yelled when the remains of a dying star hit them in the face, wiping it off their faces. One of them was Ros. Mor laughed at her startled expression, then kissed her, smearing her impeccable dress. Azriel was in a corner with Elain, whispering to each other while she mindlessly ran her fingers up and down his hands. It occurred to him just then that Azriel was hardly even looking up; his eyes were transfixed on Elain, on her thoughtless movements, on the radiance of her presence. It wasn’t difficult to see that it lit Azriel’s heart.

A few feet away from them, Feyre was laughing at something Rhys had said, one hand splayed on her enormous bump. Cassian wondered when she was going to give birth; if she grew any bigger than this, she was going to explode. He didn’t miss the way Rhys look around him, at his mate, his family, his child, nieces and nephews, as if he couldn’t believe any of this was real. An old scar reopened in his chest, and when his brother looked at him, eyes a bit glossy, Cassian gave him a sad smile.

_I know. Sometimes I can’t believe it’s real, either. But we made it._ You _made it._

A single tear escaped his eye as he nodded. No one understood the horrors of war better than Rhys, who had been kept a captive Under the Mountain for decades, forced to hand over his powers and body. It stirred an anger so primal in him, that he had no idea how he’d managed to go for so many years without seeing him, without knowing that he was safe.

Feyre looked up at him, wiping away his tear, leaning in to whisper something in his ear. The pure look of love and tenderness on his brother’s face was too much, so much that he had to look away, feeling as if he was intruding.

‘Got melancholic again? You always get emotional during Starfall.’

Nesta turned around in his arms, looking absolutely breathtaking. Her eyes were rimmed with dark make-up, making her blue eyes look even more striking, and for once, her hair was down, a few curls pinned to the back. Every time she moved, her navy dress shimmered, and it hugged her curves so beautifully that his mouth almost watered. Cauldron, she was getting more beautiful by the day.

‘Just a little bit. Can you blame me? I’m a romantic at heart.’

Nesta snickered, rearranging his tie. ‘One of us has to be.’

She raised herself on her tiptoes and kissed him. Cassian lost himself in the kiss, at how she parted her lips and gripped him tighter, her taste and scent so familiar that it made his blood boil. Every inch of him wanted to let his hands roam her skin, to kiss her collarbones and generous cleavage, to reach under her dress and pull it high up, so he could run his hands over her thighs, her hips, her…

A pointed cough interrupted his sinful thoughts. He was ready to pick a fight with whoever decided to pick _this_ particular moment to get in their way, but sighed when he realised it was Rheya.

‘Am I interrupting you two?’

‘Yes,’ he said, then Nesta elbowed him sharply. ‘No,’ he grumbled.

‘Perfect. Also, gross. I’m gonna go to the library with aunt Amren, she wanted to show me something.’

‘Right now? But it’s Starfall!’

‘Starfall doesn’t care if I can master my powers or not, mom,’ she said sweetly before taking her leave. ‘See you later!’

‘Every damn time,’ Cassian chuckled.

‘I’m surprised Aedan isn’t tagging along. He doesn’t like parties any more than her.’

But Aedan was too busy talking to Caiden while minding his slippery little sister at the same time. Rory had a habit of just taking off whenever she felt like it, so someone had to keep an eye on her. Evie was somewhere at the desserts bar with Finn, no doubt overindulging herself and her cousin with sweets.

‘I’m going to take Rory off Aedan’s hands. Do you mind getting me a drink? I feel like I’m going to need one.’

Nesta chuckled, planting a fast kiss on his lips. ‘I’ll meet you by the bar. Elain, Az, get out of your bubble and let’s go drink! Mor and Ros are already half drunk, it’s not fair.’

As soon as Aedan saw him, he sighed in relief. ‘Please tell me you’re here to take Rory. I can’t talk about ponies anymore.’

‘Since when don’t you like talking about ponies?’ She asked.

Aedan gave Rory a look that clearly stated _‘I’ve never liked talking about them, I just indulged you’_ , but she paid him no attention.

‘Tell dad about them, he loves ponies!’

At that, Rory perked up instantly. Cassian glared at Aedan.

‘Throwing me to the vultures? Just like that?’

‘Just like that,’ he nodded, grinning mischievously. ‘Good luck, dad!’

‘You’re all a nightmare. Come on, darling, let’s go get some drinks. They make a mean strawberry and mango juice here.’

* * *

It was almost dawn by the time everyone had left. The only ones remaining was their family; seated at one of the round tables and chatting into the morning. Mor had taken Finn and Rory in her room here where she put them to sleep an hour or so ago, while Rheya was sitting with Caiden on a window’s ledge, eyeing Evie and Aedan every now and then as they sparred. She was excited to try out her new sword, and while everyone else was too tired for that, her brother offered. Of course he did.

Nesta could barely keep her eyes open anymore, but she was too tired to get up and go home. The rest of them, however, were still in a partying mood; cracking up jokes, laughing echoing across the vast ballroom, glasses being clicked and food covering most of the table’s surface. She discarded her shoes somewhere a long time ago, and she rested them on Cassian’s lap, who got all handsy under the table. When Azriel gave them a pointed look, knowing exactly what he was doing, he stopped.

‘He wasn’t all that bad!’

Cassian huffed in indignation. ‘He was. He still _is_.’

Feyre rolled her eyes. ‘Will you stop despising him? I think he’s fun.’

‘In that case, your taste in males is horrible,’ he shrugged, taking a sip of his drink. ‘Sorry, Rhysie.’

His brother looked seconds away from pulverising him. Cassian couldn’t care less.

‘I also think he’s fun,’ Nesta said, dying to elicit a reaction from her mate.

‘Won’t you look at that,’ Rhys drawled. ‘It seems like even Nesta has bad taste in males.’

Amren tapped her glass with a long, blood-red nail. ’I thought we all agreed on that when we found out they were together.’

‘In any case,’ Cassian sighed, ‘Helion is annoying and snotty. He isn’t even in my top five favourite High Lords.’

They had been playing this game for the past half hour; deciding who was the best and the worst. Rhys considered himself to be the best, of course, so he ranked himself the first. Then came Tarquin, whom everyone loved, Kallias, Thesan, Helion, and they were still wondering if Tamlin or Beron deserved the last place.

‘At least I know that I’m everyone’s favourite High Lady here,’ Feyre chirped.

‘There are days when I prefer Vivi,’ Mor grinned. ‘Usually when you step on my toes.’

‘That never happens!’

‘Were you guys talking about Helion? He should’ve come tonight, I wore my prettiest dress!’

They burst into laughter as Cassian groaned, hitting his head against the table.

‘Evie,’ he grumbled, ‘forget about Helion!’

‘Never!’ She yelled while blocking Aedan’s attack. ‘You can’t stop me!’

‘I can if I ground you forever!’

‘I’ll escape eventually!’

‘Cassian, let her— oh, _shit_ ,’ Feyre winced, leaning forward.

Everyone’s laughter ceased as Feyre doubled over, a strained expression on her face. Rhys nearly dropped his glass.

‘Feyre? Are you okay? Are you in pain?’

As always, her sister put on a brave face, reassuring him that it was a tiny contraction, but Nesta knew better. She squinted her eyes at Feyre, subtly checking her hand watch at the same time.

‘You had like four or five contractions tonight. Are you sure you don’t want me to get Madja here to check up on you?’

Feyre nodded. ‘I’m sure. It wasn’t a big one. I’m not giving birth today.’

‘But that would be really fun, you’d have your birthdays one day apart!’ Elain pointed out.

‘That’s exactly why I don’t want to give birth today.’

‘Selfish much?’ Chuckled Cassian.

‘Selfless much, actually. I want everyone to celebrate her birthday, not mine. And if— _fucking shit!’_

‘Right on time,’ Nesta whispered, tapping her clock with her nails. ‘Feyre, that was a close contraction.’

Even the kids noticed what was going on. Caiden rushed to his mother’s side, an unsure hand on her shoulder, while Rhys insisted he go after Madja. Evie and Aedan stopped sparring, worry etched on their faces.

‘Is she going to give birth?’ Rheya asked, standing behind Nesta’s chair.

‘I’m not going to give birth today!’

‘Um, mom, your dress is wet.’

Everyone’s eyes moved towards Feyre’s lap, which had a distinct wet patch on it. Rhys and Cassian swore loudly. Elain covered her mouth with her hands.

The pure look of shock on Feyre’s face would’ve made Nesta laugh in any other situation.

‘I guess I am,’ she said, right before everyone started to panic.

* * *

Feyre was a delight compared to Nesta when it came to giving birth. She didn’t swear at the healers, didn’t threaten to gut anyone, and most importantly, didn’t break Rhys’ hand like she did.

He flew her down at the healers’ quarters himself, while Azriel and Mor winnowed everyone else there. Amren, whose face turned green at the sight of her water breaking, elected to stay behind in case Rory or Finn woke up. That said a lot about how much Amren hated births, if she’d rather babysit than be there.

Not that there was a lot of room left, anyway. They were clustered on the hallway while Madja checked on her pelvis, to see how dilated she was. Everyone looked anxious, and Rhys was so nervous, everyone thought he was going to faint.

Nesta had just come outside of the room to tell Cassian that maybe he should take the kids home to sleep, since they had to wait around for a bit, but they refused to go. Everyone wanted to be here to meet the newest member of their family. So Mor, Elain and Nesta took turns going inside and trying to soothe her pain in any way, while Ros rushed home to bring some food. Azriel and Cassian were sitting in the hallway, talking quietly to themselves, Rheya dozing off on Cassian’s shoulder. For whatever reason, Evie still had energy, so she roamed around the building with Aedan and Caiden in tow. None of them wanted to be here when the screaming started.

Nesta forgot how messy births were. She suddenly understood why Amren didn’t want to be anywhere close when they happened; lots of screaming, sweat, blood, bodily fluids… yet the healers still had the brightest smiles on their faces as they tended to her every need.

‘I don’t remember it hurting this much,’ she said, biting her lip as another contraction hit. ‘Gods, this is torture! Those trials weren’t half as difficult as this!’

Rhys, ever the encouraging mate, wiped her sweaty hair back, telling her that she was incredible and could do this. Nesta was more preoccupied by other aspects.

‘It’s probably because she’s bigger than Caiden was. Your belly wasn’t this big when you were pregnant with him.’

Feyre whimpered in realisation as Rhys shot her a look.

‘What? I thought she knew!’

‘You’re really going to worry her now about the size of the baby?’

‘Isn’t it better to be prepared? She wondered why it hurt so much, so I told her!’

‘You’re not supposed to tell her that!’

‘Well, what else am I supposed to tell her? That it’ll be easy work and won’t feel a thing? Maybe that works with _you_ , but it’s not the same when a baby comes out,’ she said, and Rhys opened his mouth to fight back, but Feyre waved them off.

‘Shut up. Both of you. Not the moment to fight! _I’m giving birth!’_

‘Sorry,’ they both apologised, still glaring at each other. He mouthed the word ‘demon’, and Nesta flipped him off when Feyre’s eyes were closed.

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

‘How much longer?’ Caiden asked Mor, the only one still barely awake.

She went home an hour or so ago to change out of her fancy dressed. Now she wore large pants that hung low on her hips and a white sweater, her blonde hair caught up in a ponytail. She even wiped off all of her make-up.

Thankfully, she brought a change of clothes for Nesta and Elain as well. They changed in one of the empty rooms, grateful to be out of those confining dresses.

‘No idea, darling. It depends on every woman.’

When another blood-curdling scream jolted everyone awake, Nesta guess that it should happen any moment now. She started pushing ten minutes ago, and Elain was in there, holding her hand. Nesta’s was currently sore, and Feyre wanted an empty room this time, so they stayed outside.

‘I don’t get why people want babies if _that’s_ what it takes,’ Evie mumbled, pointing towards the door. ‘It sounds horrible.’

‘It is,’ Nesta agreed, an arm draped over Rheya, who was sleeping with her head on her lap. Aedan was sitting next to Caiden, who was torn between falling asleep and worrying for his mother. Everyone assured him that everything was fine; even Rhys came out a couple of times to tell him that. But he was still worried, and he refused to leave. He wanted to be here, like they all did.

The screaming went on and on. No one was sleeping anymore — except Cassian, of course. She fought back the urge to hit him. Mor paced in front of the door, looking willing to ignore their wishes and storm inside.

Seeing that Cassian was still sleeping, she crossed her arms over her chest. ‘How can he sleep with all this screaming? _How?’_

Eyes still closed, Cassian gave Mor her middle finger. Azriel’s mouth quirked upwards; so did Nesta’s.

‘If I could sleep during wars and your raging parties, I can sleep through this as well. Wake me up when she’s here.’

Then he went back to sleep. Just like that.

Half an hour later, everyone stood up as they heard a high-pitched cry, followed by Feyre’s breathless laugh or cry. Nesta wasn’t sure.

‘Oh gods, you did it, Feyre, you did it!’ She heard Rhys say to her.

‘High Lady, you have one big, beautiful baby daughter. She’s healthy and strong, just like her mother.’

Everyone sighed in relief when they heard that. Mor’s eyes were brimming with tears as she hugged Caiden to her chest; she had the same reaction when he’d been born, too. Cassian attempted to go inside, but Nesta slapped his arm.

‘What? It’s over, we can go inside!’

‘Not until they tell us to!’

‘Can we go in? Can we see her?’ Evie asked, attempting to sneak between them and head inside. Nesta stopped her.

‘Give them a few minutes, they’ll tell us when to come in.’

Rheya said a _‘yay, we have another cousin!’_ before leaning on Aedan, eyes closing instantly. Typical.

‘I’m going in,’ Caiden announced, before he pushed past them and went straight inside.

He stopped in the middle of the room, eyes glued to the bed, and everyone saw this as an excuse to peek inside. Nesta felt a pain behind her eyes, and soon enough, they filled with tears.

‘You can come in now,’ Feyre said weakly. ‘You’re so nosy. Caiden, come meet your sister. She’s so big, she looks just like you when you were a baby.’

As Caiden went to his mother’s side to take a good look of his new sister, everyone else marched inside, curious to meet their niece. Rhys couldn’t even speak; he was staring at his daughter with tears in his eyes, then at Feyre, as if he couldn’t believe this was real.

When Nesta saw the girl, she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from crying.

She was beautiful, and so, so big.

She was wrapped in a cream-coloured blanket, the healers having already washed her. Her hair was dark and covered all of her head, and she had her eyes squinted, cooing as Caiden gingery touched her foot. He had a big, dorky smile on his face as the baby yawned, and Feyre laughed.

‘My gods, she’s perfect,’ Mor said.

Nesta went to her sister’s bed, gripping her shoulder, barely taking her eyes off the baby. ‘Feyre, she’s so beautiful. I’m so happy for you. Congratulations, you two. She’s absolutely adorable.’

Elain was sitting on the chair next to the window, a healer tending to her hand, but her enormous grin let her know that she didn’t mind. Azriel went to check in on her before coming to take a closer look at the baby.

Feyre looked absolutely exhausted, her make-up smeared on her face and her hair an absolute mess. Still, her smile was flawless.

‘I can’t believe she’s finally here,’ she whispered almost to herself, staring at her daughter. ‘Rhys, she has your nose. Look.’

Rhys have a chocked laugh as he looked closer, a tear running down his face. One of his hand was on Caiden’s shoulder.

‘What’s her name?’ Evie asked. ‘No one said anything about the name. Also, can I hold her?’

‘No,’ Cassian and Nesta responded at the same time. Evie crossed her arms over her chest.

‘How about later, Evie? When I’m awake enough to make sure you don’t give her any pointed things to hold?’ Feyre laughed.

‘I would never!’

‘You would,’ said Aedan and Rheya at the same time.

‘Only when she’s at least three.’

‘We were thinking of naming her Lucinda,’ Rhys said, his voice coarse. ‘After my sister.’

With her empty hand, Feyre intertwined their fingers, smiling softly at her mate. Feeling just as emotional, Nesta grabbed Cassian’s.

‘It’s a beautiful name,’ Mor replied, also holding Roslyn’s hand.

Azriel patted Rhys on the back, taking a good look at the baby.

‘She would’ve loved her,’ he said. ‘Your mother, too.’

Evie and Rheya managed to squeeze next to Feyre’s bed, desperate to look at their cousin.

‘Hello, baby Luce,’ Evie said. ‘I’m your biggest cousin. And the prettiest.’

‘And the most annoying,’ Rheya completed.

‘Will she ever stop flaunting over the fact that she was born first? You both are only four months older than me!’ Aedan complained.

‘Shh, the adults are talking,’ Evie waved her hand. ‘So, can I really hold her later?’


	32. Chapter 32

The Day Court was, as it was expected to be, absolutely dazzling. The first time she had been here, Nesta had actually mistaken it for the Summer Court, but that was due to the fact that they'd come during the summer season. Soaring, glittering buildings towered over their heads as they made their way towards the palace, where the Ambassador was supposed to greet them. But knowing Annora Fairwood, she was probably off somewhere nursing her hangover with a drink. These Fae partied a lot, which was to be expected, given their _strong_ leadership.

The palace was enormous, with spirals that seemed to scratch the sky, statues of various deities and past High Lords nestled between oval windows, each of them having stern, determined looks on their faces. Compared to the palaces from Velaris, this one screamed opulence. Even though it was centuries old, the marble was still shining in the sunlight, vines blooming on its side with radiant golden flowers. Helion made some obvious modifications, too, one of them being the pools that overlooked the city, the glass transparent so the whole world could see what was going on inside the water. She didn't want to think if he enjoyed being watched by his people while he swam, or did other nefarious things up there.

They passed the golden gates, the guards bowing their heads, and Nesta took in the lavish front gardens. Fountains littered the green spaces, all of the ponds filled with colourful fish. Fae folk languished on the benches under the trees, chatting merrily between themselves, while the ladies fanned their dainty faces with silk fans. The ones who recognised them and their odd attire -- which meant clothes that still left something to the imagination -- gave them curious glances, but none of them seemed scared. Odd. That was usually the reaction she got when she visited other courts.

'I want to live in this place.'

Nesta glanced at her daughter, whose eyes were upwards, scanning the imposing building. She couldn't blame Evie; the palace was incredible, fit for royalty. The inside of it was even better.

Aedan seemed just as impressed, though for some other reasons. He'd never seen a palace quite this big and luxurious.

'I kind of want to live here, too,' he mumbled, barely minding his steps.

When she told the children that she was going to the Day Court for some business, Evie begged Nesta to take her along. Promised she'd do all of her homework in time, be nice to her teachers, and mind her manners all the time. Nesta was going to take her anyway, but she wasn't going to complain about the promises she'd made. Rheya didn't want to come, saying that she couldn't skip her magic lessons, and Rory was still too young to be by herself while Nesta was having the meetings. Aedan and Evie could've watched her, sure, but they wanted to explore. They couldn't do that if they had to babysit at the same time.

Also, if they got in any trouble, they didn't need to drag her along as well. Better two than three.

And the only reason why Aedan came was because Evie pleaded with him for well over an hour, saying that she didn't want to be alone while Nesta was busy. As always, he gave in.

'Welcome, welcome! I've been expecting you for quite a while. Nesta, you look so beautiful!'

Nesta tried to hide her surprise as Annora tackled her in an incredibly tight hug. Even though she was shorter than her, she had incredible strength. When she pulled back, hands still on her shoulders, she grinned.

'Where is that charming mate of yours? He's always so good on the eye. Better than candy.'

Nesta laughed at her impression of Cassian.

'Home, with the children. Probably getting into some trouble.'

Annora smacked her lips, green eyes shuddering. 'He's good looking, and he's also good with children? I may just steal him from you one of these days, Nesta dear.'

'You'd be doing me a favour, trust me.'

Annora was radiant in all ways. Her beauty was particularly exceptional; her dark brown curls were tightened on top of her head with a golden circled, yet some strands still managed to find a way out, framing her round, sunny face. Her chocolate-coloured skin always seemed to glisten, and her dark-lined eyes were full of mischief. She had donned on a thin, white blouse with bell sleeves, ending just above her navel, and her matching white pants hugged her curvy silhouette beautifully. A dangly charm protruded from her bellybutton, and her long, graceful earls had earrings all the way up.

Out of all the ambassadors she knew, Annora was probably her favourite. Not only was she incredibly amusing and had a knack for wild experiences, but she was also smart beyond her years and so, so thoughtful of her people. She was a delight to work with.

'Oh my, look at you! Evie, I haven't seen you since you were what? Five, six? You're so grown now!'

So grown that they were almost the same height. Evie hugged Annora with glee, complimenting her beauty, as she always did. She was always in awe of her.

'Still a terrific fighter?' Annora asked, pointing at her black wings.

Evie nodded proudly. 'The best.'

'She says,' Aedan muttered, but before Evie had a chance to elbow him, Annora's arms were around his neck.

'You must be Aedan! I've heard so many good things about you. You're so tall and handsome, the Fae will drool after you in a couple of years,' she winked, and his cheeks flamed red. Nesta stifled a laugh.

'T-Thank you,' he managed to say.

'Now come on in, you must be tired. I restrained from having any drinks today, knowing that you'd arrive, so we'll have to drink together now.'

'I may just take you up on that offer, I haven't had a drink in quite a while.'

As Annora intertwined their arms, Evie scoffed loudly.

'By a while, you mean two days.'

'Two days is a long time,' Nesta said.

'Two days without a drink?' Annora gasped. 'My dear, I must have the ladies prepare you the best cocktails in the Day Court. You'll absolutely love them!'

'I'm afraid I'll love them too much,' Nesta chuckled as they went inside the brightly lit palace.

* * *

'So, how is Helion? Galavanting around, throwing parties as usual?'

Annora shook her head as she finished her drink.

'Close enough,' she said as she wiped her full mouth with the back of her hand. 'He's meeting with a few lords from our court as we speak. He knew you'd be coming and said he'd make sure to stop by before you left.'

As soon as she heard that, Evie stopped prying around and rushed to the couch where Annora was seated.

'He's coming?' she almost yelled, startling poor Annora. 'This trip is just getting better and better! Aedan, I told you he'd be here!'

Aedan was somewhere behind the rows of books, investigating the titles. He sighed at Evie's enthusiasm, but listened to her prattlenonetheless.

'She's a fan of his?' Annora inquired, eyes still big from her fright.

'Sadly, yes. She met him three years ago at my birthday and forced him to dance with her. But Evie likes someone new every other week, so I'm not too concerned about it.'

Annora laughed, leaving her empty glass on the table. They were in her office, which was the furthest thing from an office in Nesta's mind; it had a damn bar in it, complete with chaises and white couches with numerous small pillows. Her desk was massive, piled high with documents and a few empty bottles. The white curtains flowed in the breeze, the sound of the buzzing capital ringing across the room. Paintings with golden frames adorned the walls, some of them portraying nude Fae; her children analysed them a bit too much.

'She'll probably give him a run for his money in a couple of years.'

'That's what I'm afraid of. How is Elias?'

At the mention of her lover's name, Annora's face became impossibly luminous.

'He's good, he's at his shop right now. Well, he'd better be, otherwise I'll find out. Nothing happens in this city without me knowing.'

'The girls loved his dresses, by the way. You should've seen Aurora's little face when she saw the princess ones. She refuses to wear anything but them.'

Elias was, in Nesta's opinion, one of the best designers in all of Prythian. Women and men from all over the courts flocked to his shop to buy his designs, if they managed to find any left. Nesta met him a couple of times, and he couldn't be any different than Annora. Grounded, almost shy at the first glance, but his love for this exuberant woman was written all over his face.

'He'll be thrilled to know that. Once your commission came in, he was so ecstatic that he began sketching the very same day. He doesn't get to design dresses for children that often. It took lots of coercing to get him out of his study to entertain me a little,' she laughed. 'And your two other little monsters? I was hoping to see Rheya as well. That girl never ceases to amaze me with her knowledge.'

'Rheya skipped coming with me because she didn't want to miss her magic lesson with Amren,' she said, and grinned at Annora's stunned expression. 'I know. I also find it hard to believe that Amren likes children.'

'That's definitely not the Amren _I_ met. She said I'm louder than a dragon and that I give her headaches.'

'She says the same thing about everyone who says more than two sentences to her.'

'And Aurora?'

'She's a delight. Loud and full of energy, but still a delight. Definitely better than how she was three years ago. Same goes for Aedan.'

Annora's smile turned a little sad. 'Horrible Fae, those from the Hewn city. They deserve their fate. Children should be protected, not made to beg on the streets and fend for themselves at such a young age. I'm surprised Rhysand and Feyre haven't burned that city to the ground yet.'

'Me too, trust me. It took Aedan a long time to get accustomed to us all.'

'He looks like a good kid, though.'

'He is,' Nesta nodded, spying her children behind the numerous rows, arguing about something. 'He's not very outspoken, but he's extremely kind and loving. You should see him try to take the blame when the other three do something stupid. It's endearing.'

'I bet it is,' she grinned. 'So, what do you say? Another drink or should we get to business?'

'Definitely another one. I'm not tipsy enough to handle trade talks right now.'

* * *

It was almost dusk when they wrapped up their meeting. As always, they ended it on amicable and profitable terms for both courts.

'Where are we going now? Please say home.'

Aedan was by her side, eyes droopy from sleep. Evie must've worn him out while they explored the palace.

'Annora invited us to dinner, and she didn't leave any room for refusals. Sorry, darling,' she winced, ruffling his hair.

'I'm not even hungry.'

'I am!' Evie grinned, a few feet in front of them. She was trying to get rid of a stain on her short, blue skirt, but there was no way it was going to come off. How did she always manage to get her clothes dirty?

'You're just hoping to see Helion, shut up.'

Evie glared at her brother. 'Jealous?'

'More like annoyed.'

'You didn't seem all that annoyed when I sneaked us inside that armoury hall.'

Nesta suppressed a groan. 'Eve, didn't we talked about trespassing?'

She twirled one of her long curls around her finger, her golden bracelet from Mor shining. 'Don't look at me, he's the one that distracted those guards.'

Nesta's head whipped towards her son's strained expression.

'How? Please don't tell me you got in any fights.'

'She's exaggerating, I didn't hurt them! I just made a couple of windows blow open with some air currents. They went to check it out and we sneaked inside.'

Nesta would've said something about that, but Annora appeared out of the dining room, a smirk plastered on her face. Not good.

'I thought you got lost on the way. Come, the dinner table is all set! We also have a guest.'

* * *

Nesta knew that Helion would show up at one point or another. What she didn't know was that Helion wouldn't be aware that her children would also be present, which explained his complete bafflement when he beheld Evie and Aedan. Especially Evie, who was grinning like a wildcat, wings flittering as she struggled to keep them still. That spoke volumes about her excitement.

'I thought it was just going to be you,' was all he said as he stood up from his chair, wearing a see-through white tunic and long, black pants. 'That explains the extra plates. And the passed out guards.’

'I thought I'd surprise you,' Annora said slyly, pushing everyone inside the intimate dining room. 'It crossed my mind to mention it, but you were extra snarky this week, so consider this payback.'

Nesta tried to keep her amusement at bay as she approached the High Lord.

'Helion, it's nice to see you. I heard you had a wild rave last weekend. I guess you enjoyed yourself?'

He shook his head, his charming smile resurfacing at long last. 'As always,' he winked. 'And you?'

'What about me?'

'I take you're also well?'

'Better than ever.'

'Decided to take these two on a short vacation?' he asked, eyeing a dissociating Aedan and grinning Evie.

'Oh, the second Evie heard where I was going, she insisted on tagging along. I couldn't deny her the pleasure of your company,' she winked, and Helion swore under his breath.

'You truly are wicked.'

'You don't know the half of it, darling,' she laughed, finding her seat next to a beaming Annora.

Evie saw her opportunity and took it.

'Helion, it's so nice to see you again! You haven't aged at all, you don't look a day past a thousand. But I definitely did! So, should I catch you up on how these last three years were, or should we leave that for dessert?'

'Gods help me,' she heard Helion whisper.

'You haven't told him my children would be here?'

Annora tsked softly. 'Of course I haven't. I wouldn't want to miss out on this spectacle.'

'Mom?'

Aedan sat next to her, trying his hardest not to close his eyes.

'What's wrong?'

'We're still going home tonight, right? Evie won't keep us here all night long?'

Nesta took a look at her daughter, who was currently showing off her wings with pride, and Helion, who was telling her that they were definitely bigger than last time he saw her, but not big enough to make the aerial army. She half expected her to get annoyed, but she said that 'the aerial army isn't ready for me yet'. Good gods.

'I'll drag her away if I have to, don't worry. Eat something, you barely ate all day.'

Aedan was never one to say no to food, even if he wasn’t hungry, so he dived right in. Nesta chatted with Annora while Helion sat down with an exasperated sigh, Evie prattling his ears off. She didn’t even hide her endless amusement; this was extremely entertaining. She was in the middle of telling him about what she planned on wearing for her birthday and which weapon would complement her dress better when he pushed an entire chocolate cake in her face.

‘Here,’ he said, smiling brightly. ‘For you.’

Evie frowned. ‘All of it?’

‘All of it, and more if you want. You should only eat the sweetest things in the world.’

He shot Nesta a glance that made Annora laugh.

Evie seemed a little bit confused, but could never refuse an entire cake, so she picked up her fork and dug right in. Seeing what she was eating, Aedan picked up his and joined her.

‘This interaction just took a decade out of my lifespan,’ he sighed, rubbing his temples. ‘I need a drink. Anybody need a drink?’

He didn’t wait for a reply as he uncorked the bottle of wine and filled his glass to the brim, then drank some more straight from the bottle. Damn.

‘Imagine what it’s like on a daily basis,’ Nesta said.

‘I don’t want to. At least the other one is quiet. I much prefer quiet children.’

‘I’m not a child,’ Aedan snapped.

‘Forget what I said. You ladies are sure you don’t want any wine?’ He asked, but before either of them had a chance to reply, he took a long drink from the bottle again. Annora was howling.

‘Gods, this is so entertaining,’ she said.

‘So, Nesta, I heard that Feyre gave birth. How is she?’

‘Ecstatic. So is Rhysand. They have a beautiful baby daughter. Her name is Lucinda.’

‘But we’re just calling her Lucie,’ Evie said, mouth full of chocolate cake. Even her face was smeared with it. ‘She’s quite fussy, though. Finn wasn’t that fussy.’

‘ _You_ were a fussy baby.’

Evie pointed her fork towards her. ’High risk, high reward.’

‘You should really stop saying that. It never works out in your favour,’ Aedan commented.

‘When has is not?!’

‘You say that almost all the time before you get into a fight. You said that before you tried to hide Rheya’s books just to see her face and she froze your hands.’

‘And I defrosted them myself! You’re the one to talk, whenever I come up with a prank you’re more than willing to participate!’

As they began another long arguing session, Nesta downed her glass. Annora and Helion did the same.

‘Think twice about having children,’ she said.

* * *

‘You’re cheating, aren’t you?’

‘You know well enough that I’m not.’

‘Then how the hell are your cards always so good?’

Rheya gave him a dimpled smile. ‘Lucky, I guess?’

Cassian lost yet another round to his daughter. It was hard not to let it sting, despite seeing her joy every time she obliterated him. It warmed his heart to know that she’d always hold her own with a deck of cards, but not when he was on the other side of the table.

‘How was your lesson with Amren?’ He asked as he shuffled the cards, then began dealing him.

‘Tiring. And long. We focused on fire magic today, and it’s my least favourite.’

‘Why?’

Rheya shrugged, resting her face in her palm. She seemed more irritated than tired.

‘It’s hard to control. Its shape, intensity, manner of spreading. With the others, it’s much easier. This one is giving me a headache.’

‘Isn’t it more powerful, though?’

‘Not necessarily,’ she replied as she picked up the cards Cassian dealt. ‘You need a source for the fire. It can also be put out. Use air, for instance, and you won’t be so lucky. Aedan got lucky with this element. Earth, the same. It’s everywhere. Even water. Fill someone’s lungs with it, and they’ll gave a hard time getting it out.’

‘You know, elements aren’t exactly made to hurt others,’ he couldn’t help but laugh. ‘You can also use them to help people.’

‘I know that, but aunt Amren doesn’t seem to know that. She’s really into defensive and offensive magic. I have to remind her that I’m not going off to war anytime soon.’

‘That’s because she’s used to teaching High Lords and other sorcerers,’ he explained, looking at his dreadful pair of cards. He was going to lose this game, too. ‘Not young ladies who are more interested in how to show off more.’

‘I’m not a show off! Evie is, you know that.’

Oh, he certainly did. With the numerous fights she got into and how she walked around that school as if she owned it, Evie was always bound to be in the centre of attention. His eldest daughter had plenty of his attitude.

‘Can’t blame her for liking the attention. It runs in the family,’ he winked as he put down one of his best cards.

Rheya’s mouth twitched before setting down a bad card. Maybe he finally had a chance.

‘Mom said you have to leave in a couple of days. Where are you going?’

‘The Steppes,’ he sighed. ‘Not looking forward to it.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because it’s a dreadful place. Some rebels got it into their head to kill some Illyrians.Azriel’s coming as well.’

‘Why do you care so much about them?’ She suddenly asked, those blue eyes seeming to see right into his soul. ‘I know all about how things were for you and uncle Rhys and Az when you were young. I know how they treated grandmother and why she died. But you keep trying to help them. Why?’

Rendered speechless for a moment, Cassian put down his cards. It didn’t surprise him at all that Rheya knew all the bad details of his past; well, his childhood, at least. She knew how to dig into someone’s life. But he tried to keep them away from those bad details, even if it was irrational and stupid. He knew they’d find out eventually.

‘Because for a long while, that’s all I was,’ he finally answered. ‘An Illyrian. I wasn’t a soldier, or a Commander of an entire court’s army. I wasn’t liked, respected or part of anything. Being an Illyrian was the only thing that defined me. My mom used to tell me to be proud of who I am, of the gift I’d been given,’ he said, pointing to his wings. ‘Even though she had lost hers years before. She taught me how Illyrians used to be a proud, good people, before corruption started to rot their souls. I know some of them are still good, and they suffer at the hands of the horrible ones. So the reason why I’m trying to help them is to honour my mother, who still had it in her to forgive them for what they did to her. To honour her by helping countless other women who find themselves in a similar situation, and to make sure that no other child grows up to live the way that I have lived. I don’t want her death to be in vain. She would’ve been happy with all the changes that occurred over the years.’

Rheya set down her cards, a soft look on her darling face. ‘She would’ve also been proud of you, dad,’ she said. ‘I know I am. I hope one day I’ll be half as brave as you are.’

‘You are,’ he said almost immediately, ignoring the way his heart stung from all the overwhelming emotions. ‘You’re more brave than I was at your age, and definitely more brave than your mother was. You held your own before a group of Illyrians who wanted to hurt you and Aedan when you were only ten. You think many can do that?’

She chuckled, shaking her head. ‘I didn’t actually fight them. Evie would’ve, though.’

‘That’s because she’s incredibly reckless, and would’ve probably killed herself in the process. You two may be twins, but you’re so different from each other, it amazes me.’

‘Do you think she would’ve liked us?’ She asked quitely. ‘Grandmother?’

_Grandmother_. Oh, she would’ve loved to be called that, to have enough nephews and nieces to keep her busy all day long, to play with and tell stories to. His mother’s face flashed before his eyes, bringing a sad smile to his lips.

‘She would’ve loved you, Rheya. She already does, from wherever she is now. You’re exactly how she wished young Illyrian girls would grow up to be like. Even more than that.’

She nodded, but he didn’t miss the way her eyes turned a little bit red.

Then she turned around her cards so he could see them.

‘You lose this round, too.’

‘Damn it!’

Noise coming from the foyer startled them. He instantly knew it was her mate, along with their two bickering children.

‘Will you stop fighting already? You’re giving me a headache!’

‘This is going to be fun,’ Rheya grinned as she turned around to face them. ‘Fun day?’

Aedan was the first one to come into view, an angry look in his eyes as Evie followed him closely, basically yelling his ears off. He looked moments away from killing her. Nesta came last, a tired look on her face as she threw her coat on an armchair, eyes meeting his.

‘I tried, but they’re relentless. They’ve been arguing for the past hour. Deal with it, please, I need a shower.’ She made to leave upstairs, but noticed that someone was missing. ‘Where’s Rory?’

‘At Ros and Mor’s house. She wanted to play with Finn. I’ll go pick her up later.’

‘Oh, alright,’ she nodded. ‘Good hand you’ve got there, Rheya. Don’t you dare let him win the next round.’

‘I won’t!’

‘We’ll see about that. But first, let’s deal with those two.’

‘ _You_ deal with it. I’m going to eat something,’ she announced, hurrying for the kitchen.

‘Traitor!’ He called after her, then went upstairs.

Evie followed Aedan into his bedroom. That said a lot about how furious she was. The second he pushed back the door, he almost wished he hadn’t.

‘Why are you two fighting? Stop it!’

They didn’t listen. Evie was gesticulating angrily as she tried to explain something to Aedan, who wouldn’t have any of it. He listened for a couple of seconds, realising that they were calling each other out on their bullshit, and who got into the most trouble. By the looks of it, Aedan had the upper hand, and Evie hated that. No matter how many problems Aedan caused on his own, they were nothing compared to Evie’s.

‘Okay, that’s enough,’ he stepped between them, holding up his hands. ‘You’re ridiculous. Stop fighting like children.’

Evie redirected her anger at him. ‘I thought we _were_ children. That’s what you keep saying, anyway.’

Oh, Mother’s tits.

‘A better solution would be talking like civilised Fae. So why don’t we sit down and…’

‘He’s _not_ a civilised Fae!’

‘And _you_ are?’ Aedan laughed harshly. ‘You try to beat someone every other minute. Is fighting all you care about?’

Cassian could see it in her eyes that she was about to lose it.

‘Don’t blame me for your shortcomings. I make use of what I was given.’

‘ _Given_. Exactly. Because you’re such a little spoiled brat!’

‘Oh, and you’re so much better than me, aren’t you?!’ Evie threw up her hands. ‘Spare me the _‘life is harsh’_ bullshit talk. Life is what you make of it. And in case no one has told you, you’re not in Hewn anymore, so stop acting all high and mighty. We get it, you had a rough childhood, move on!’

‘Eve, shut your mouth,’ Cassian warned, glaring at his daughter. ‘I mean it.’

‘Why don’t you take him back from where you found him and remain there, too? Since you’re both little more than savages!’

She stomped away, ignoring his calls for her to stop. Not that any of it would help.

‘I’m sorry, Aedan. Don’t listen to her. You know she’s a pestilence when she’s angry like this.’

Aedan nodded, looking away. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that her words had hurt him.

‘Hey,’ he said softly, laying a hand on his shoulder. ‘Aedan, she didn’t mean it. She’s just angry. She says stupid shit every time she’s angry, you know that. She loves you.’

Cassian felt bad trying to convince his son of Evie’s love for him when he was put out by her harsh words. Of course she loved Aedan, but she could be incredibly rude when anger got the best of her.

‘I know she does. It doesn’t make it any better,’ he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

‘I’ll go talk to her, don’t worry. I’m surprised you didn’t punch her, to be honest,’ he joked.

Aedan raised a brow. ‘You were the one that told me to never harm or strike a girl.’

‘Unless you’re in a duel.’

‘Are you suggesting I ask Evie to duel me, dad?’ A faint smile appeared on his face.

‘Gods no, that would end in bloodshed for sure. And of course I don’t want you to hit her or any other girl, for that matter, but I’m surprised by how calm you manage to remain when she gets like this. Even _I_ get angry.’

‘Practice makes it perfect.’

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

He shook his head. ‘I’m fine, dad, I promise. She’s going to come apologise in a bit, anyway.’

Cassian raised one brow. ‘How do you know that?’

‘She always apologises when she starts a fight. They never really get this bad, so I’m expecting a flowery apologise from her.’

Cassian couldn’t help but laugh. ‘I’ll make sure she delivers. Are you coming downstairs to eat?’

He nodded, going through his closet. ‘After I take a shower.’

Cassian left Aedan alone, going through the house in the hopes of finding Evie. As soon as he heard the sound of daggers colliding with a target, he followed that sound.

Naturally, Evie was in the training room Cassian built years ago. Over the years he had to include new equipments to accommodate his children; even Aedan enjoyed using it when he wanted to blow off some steam. It wasn’t big enough for Rheya to practice flying, but she enjoyed target practice and archery, so she could be found here early in the morning, when everyone else was asleep. It was the best time for her and Cassian to practice alone. Sometimes they’d both do their own thing, other times he’d drill self defence moves into her head until he was sure she got the grip of them.

He walked just as Evie threw a dagger towards the wooden circle. It hit bull’s eye.

She threw one again.

‘We need to talk.’

Another dagger hit the target, knocking the others to the floor. Her whole body was tense with concentration, her hair tied in a messy bun to keep it from getting in her face. She was still wearing her blue skirt and white shirt from this morning.

‘Evie, put down those daggers and come talk to me.’

With a long sigh, she dropped the daggers to the ground, then made her way towards one of the sideline benches. She didn’t look remotely interested in what he had to say.

‘What happened?’

She fiddled with her fingers, not looking at him. ‘I know I was rude to him. I’ll apologise, don’t worry.’

‘It’s not about that,’ he said, sitting down next to her. ‘You can apologise all you want, but you still said some really mean things to him. Did you have to drag his childhood into your fights? That’s not fair.’

‘I know it’s not, but he just got under my skin. I’m tired of being told that I shouldn’t act this way or that way, or that I always end up being in trouble. You think I don’t know that?’

Her eyes flashed as she finally looked at him. It wasn’t just anger; no, she was exhausted. All those things they said, how she should control herself more… they got to her. Why didn’t he see it earlier?

‘I want to keep out of trouble, but believe it or not, it’s not always me that starts it. What am I supposed to do when other Fae pick on me? Let them have it? When those idiots at school try to have a go at Aedan, should I just stand on the side and watch? He won’t fight them because he doesn’t care enough to, but _I_ care. And I wouldn’t physically fight Aedan, so I said those things because I knew it’d hurt more than a punch. And now I regret them, so you don’t need to tell me that what I did was bad. I already know that.’

Cassian was quiet for a few moments, taking in his daughter. Everyone assumed that it was him she took after; all that burning fire, the rage, the need to prove herself stronger than anyone her age. How she wouldn’t shy away from a fight. But in reality, Evie was so much more different than he was at her age. Cassian didn’t give a rat’s shit about who he hurt or in what ways his words would affect someone else. Evie cared, maybe a little too much.

‘I’m sorry,’ he finally said. ‘That I didn’t try to see things from your point of view whenever those things happened. It’s my fault. I don’t blame you for standing up for Aedan or for yourself, for that matter. The fights, I can look past them, but not fighting with your own siblings. Not like that. Aedan would never say to you that your words hurt him, but they did.’

‘I know,’ she whispered, wiping her nose. ‘I know.’

‘You know why he gets under your skin so much? Because he knows you, and he’s not doing it to hurt you. That’s what siblings do all the time. I think he just wants you to be more cautious, not to reprimand you for everything you do.’

‘In that case, he’s really shitty at it,’ she sniffled.

Cassian chuckled. ‘Maybe it’s not the best way, I admit, but you could always talk to him about it. You know he’d listen. He loves you, Evie, and you and Rheya were his first friends. He’d do anything for you.’

‘Do you think he’ll forgive me?’ She looked up at him, eyes filled with tears. ‘About what I said?’

He placed a hand on her cheek, wiping away a tear. It broke his heart to see his daughter cry.

‘Of course, darling. I think he already did. He doesn’t really hold grudges, you know.’

She smiled, wiping her face. ‘That’s true. I’ll make it up to him.’

‘Do you think training is helping you?’ He found himself asking. ‘Or does it just rile you up more?’

Evie shook her head. ‘Believe it or not, it’s helping me. It calms me down. If I didn’t train, I’d probably be a ticking bomb.’

‘So cutting back isn’t really an option, is it?’

‘Hell no. The only times I actually get into a fight is when I’m provoked, or when it’s about Rheya or Aedan. I know you all expect me to simmer down and not be so impulsive, but I’m not sorry for standing up to them. If you want to ground me for that, then it’s fine. I’m not sorry for any of it.’

His chest flared with pride as she looked at him with determination in his eyes. That’s also what he lacked at her age; accountability for his actions. Evie knew that what she did wasn’t exactly right, but she did it for her sake and others’. He understood that now.

‘It would make me a bad parent to ground you for that reason,’ he said, rubbing her back. ‘And I’m proud of you. For being there for them. They need you just as much as you need them.’

‘Thank you,’ she said, scooting over to hug him. ‘I promise I’ll try to cut back on the fights. I’ll try to win them in other ways.’

‘Please don’t say poison.’

‘I was thinking more about words, but I’ll take poisoning under consideration,’ she laughed.

‘Please don’t. We’re good with words.’

* * *

By the time Cassian returned home with Rory, who was tired from playing with Finn for hours, Evie and Aedan had made up. She found them sitting on the staircase, talking quietly to each other, barely paying any attention to him. Aedan had a cheeky smile on his face, and Cassian heard him say, ‘I know you didn’t mean it, silly. You’re my sister. I sort of have to forgive you, right?’

That seemed to do it.

Nesta was in the kitchen with Rheya, talking about the latest gossip in town. Of course. Rheya was chopping some tomatoes while Nesta was stirring something in a frying pan, but as soon as she saw them, a huge smile adorned her face.

‘Finally. I was getting tired of cooking. How was your play date, Rory?’

‘It was really fun! We baked with aunt Ros.’

‘Did aunt Mor help?’

‘No, she kept drinking her grown up juice, but she stayed with us. She even played with our dolls!’

Cassian and Nesta exchanged a bemused look. They knew exactly what that grown up juice was.

He set her down on the ground, and she bolted for the table to see what Rheya was doing.

‘How was the Day Court? We didn’t have time to talk today.’

‘It was quite fun, actually. Evie tortured Helion. It was sublime.’

Cassian groaned. ‘Not this again. She still likes him?’

‘Give it a day, she’ll like someone else before you know it,’ Rheya assured him.

Cassian looked from his daughter to his mate, not believing his ears. ‘How is that better?!’

‘You’re right,’ Nesta agreed. ‘At least Helion has a palace.’

He groaned as the girls burst into laughter. It seemed that he couldn’t solve _all_ issues.

* * *

‘Where’s your sister? Isn’t she coming down for breakfast?’

Evie raised one shoulder, mouth full of scrambled eggs. ‘She said she wasn’t hungry. I don’t know what’s up with her this morning, she’s crankier than usual.’

‘She also said that she’s not in the mood of working on that project with me,’ Aedan added, then frowned. ‘Now that I think of it, it’s really odd. She’s the one who usually assaults me to finish projects early.’

Finding that extremely out of character, Cassian went upstairs to check on Rheya. The door was closed, and when he knocked, he got no answer.

‘Rheya? Can I come in?’

Receiving only an incoherent mumble as an answer, Cassian opened the door and stepped inside. Rheya was still in bed, lying on her side and facing the wall.

‘Are you alright? Evie and Aedan said you didn’t feel like eating. Do you feel sick?’

‘Not in the mood,’ she replied. ‘I want to sleep.’

Now that was even more worrying. Rheya wasn’t the sort of person to sleep in until late.

‘Honey—‘

‘Dad, I just want to sleep!’

‘Do you want me to get mom?’

She let out an exaggerated sigh, throwing the covers from her face. ‘ _No!_ Holy gods, can I have no alone-time in this house? I’ll come down when I’m hungry!’

‘O-Okay,’ was all he managed to say, scanning her from head to toe. She didn’t look sick, and she went to bed relatively early.

But staying here would only make this worse, so he left her bedroom, confused and worried. Should he have pressed her more? Or maybe she actually wanted to sleep; he knew that Evie would get sudden bursts of energy at night and talk her ears off.

Nesta was taking a shower and Rory had just gotten downstairs, by the sound of it. He already left her breakfast on the table.

Nesta would know how to handle that better than him, obviously, but it still didn’t sit right with him. Maybe more children at school were picking on her? No, he would’ve found out by now. Evie or Aedan would’ve told him, or the school would’ve sent word. It couldn’t be that.

He went into their bathroom to pick up the laundry basket and take it downstairs for washing. The weight of it was impressive; they always managed to get their clothes dirty by doing nothing.

But as he walked downstairs, Cassian sensed a strange smell. It was faint, but his Fae nose wasn’t deceiving him. He looked at the basket in his hands, setting it down to see what it was. All of them were too old to pee their pants or underthings, and it definitely wasn’t pee. But then he found a pair of shorts carefully folded, a considerable scarlet stain on them.

‘Oh,’ he mumbled, realisation kicking in.

Blood.

Those were Rheya’s pants.

She had gotten her period.

_Well, that explains everything,_ he thought to himself, staring at her closed door. He left the basket on the stairs and went straight to his bedroom, where Nesta was still showering.

‘Sweetheart? We got an issue.’

She was drying her hair with a towel, stark naked. In any other situation, Cassian would’ve definitely stared at her body, but he felt more alarmed than when he’d been gutted on the battlefield.

‘What issue? Don’t tell me you can’t open the pickle jar and need my help,’ she smirked.

‘Rheya got her period,’ he whisper-shouted. ‘And she isn’t telling anyone about it. Why hasn’t she told you? You had the period talk with them years ago!’

Eyes wide, Nesta hung the towel on its hanger. ‘How do you know she had her period?’

‘I took the laundry basket downstairs and I smelled the blood. Her pants were stained. Do you think she’s embarrassed?’

‘Did you say anything to her?’ She asked, ignoring his questions as she put on her clothes.

‘No. I’m not sure she’d like to talk about her _first period_ with her dad, Nesta.’

Rheya was the first one of the twins to get her period, which may or may not have made him a little bit emotional. Gods, they were so grown up already, and he was definitely freaking out about it.

‘Do you think I should have said something? I checked in on her earlier, and she basically shouted at me to leave her alone. She said she isn’t hungry and doesn’t want to work on her project with Aedan. Do you think she’s in pain? Shit, of course she is, periods always hurt. Should we take her to see a healer?’

Nesta let him rant while she finished getting dressed, then placed both hands on his shoulders.

‘Cassian, I love you, but please stop talking.’

‘Why didn’t she tell us?’

‘She’s probably embarrassed! Which is stupid, but don’t go around and make a big deal out of it, that will just make it worse. I’ll go talk to her and give her some of the stuff I take when I get my period. It should help with the pain.’

He nodded, finally allowing himself to breathe.

‘Gods, Rheya got her first period,’ Nesta whispered, as if reading his thoughts. ‘They’re so grown, I can’t believe it.’

‘Me either,’ he confessed. ‘So you think I shouldn’t talk to her about it?’

Nesta raised one perfect eyebrow. ‘Knowing you, you’ll definitely make it weird. You just made it weird for me.’

‘Why would I make it weird? Do I act weird around you when you get your period?’

‘I can’t say that you’re not being _extra_ attentive when I get mine,’ she chuckled. ‘Not that I’m complaining.’

Cassian sighed. ‘And how is that a bad thing? Also, I’m always attentive with you, so shut up. Go talk to her.’

‘I’m going!’

She opened one of her drawers, taking out a bottle and a couple of pads.

‘Don’t linger near the door.’

‘I wasn’t going to!’ He definitely _was_ going to.

* * *

They came downstairs half an hour later. Nesta had quite the talk with Rheya, which hadn’t been bad at all; she guessed right, she was embarrassed, which completely baffled Nesta. She talked to them about periods before and they knew what to expect, but she still felt weird.

Nesta had given her the concoction that would ease the pain, and while they waited for it to kick in, she had shown Rheya how to put a pad on her underwear. She reassured her that the pain was worse during the first and second day, and that periods were completely natural and nothing to be ashamed of. Gods knew how many times Nesta woke up with her bed stained from it.

Cassian had just finished with the dishes, and Aedan, Evie and Rory were all sitting on the couch. As soon as they saw her, Evie grinned widely.

‘You got your period!’

‘Oh, dear gods…’ Rheya muttered, hiding her face.

‘You just _had_ to beat me to it, didn’t you?!’ She rushed towards Rheya, jumping up and down. ‘Does it hurt? Was it a lot of blood? Is that why you yelled at me this morning?’

‘Do you want me to yell at you again? Stop talking about it!’

Rheya’s face was bright red. Cassian cast her a relieved look, then looked at Nesta, mouthing a ‘good job’.

‘I’m not sure I want to stay here for this talk,’ Aedan announced, eyeing the twins. ‘Congratulations, I guess?’

Rheya gave him a murderous look. Aedan responded with a sheepish smile.

‘Why didn’t you tell me when I came to your room?’ Cassian asked.

‘Because you’re my dad!’

‘So? You think a little blood affects my sensible feelings?’

Rheya gave Nesta a pleading look. She wrapped her arm around her shoulders, heading for the kitchen.

‘Alright, leave her alone, I told you not to make a big deal out of it!’

‘I’m not!’ Cassian protested. ‘Rheya, I went out and got you all of the stuff that your mom usually craves when she has her period, which is mostly chocolate and ice-cream!’

‘They won’t stop, will they?’

‘Not a chance, darling.’


	33. Chapter 33

_17 years old_

Another arrow bolted after her, but she dipped just before it could hit her leg, crashing into the far wall behind her. Before she could rebalance and straighten her wings, another wave of them zipped towards her, but she was prepared. She went through the various flying techniques which had been drilled into her head, dodging and diving before any of them could hit her, the rush of adrenaline keeping her focused on any incoming threat. It helped that the lights had been considerably dimmed so she could rely more on her senses rather than just her sight. She listened to the soft rattle in the air, how they inched closer and closer to her, and swooped to one side and then the other before any of them could crash her.

It was her favourite training exercise.

With a soft thud, Rheya landed on the ground, chest rising and falling rapidly.

‘That was an improvement from yesterday, but you need to focus more on keeping your wings open significantly less if you don’t one of those arrows to end up in them. The fall would break most bones in your body.’

She nodded, adjusting her trembling wings. They had been at it for the past twenty minutes.

‘Still, that was very impressive. Good job, Rheya.’

Her uncle gave her a soft, secretive smile, nodding appreciatively, before instructing them to go through their usual routine of stretching. They’d practice their self defence movements afterwards, then hopefully stop for the day.

‘You really need to teach me that mid-air tumble. Last time I did it, my lunch almost came up.’

Caiden sat on the floor next to her, his hair sweaty and plastered to his face. To her dismay, her cousin grew significantly in the last couple of years, towering over her with his impressive height and building muscles. The same thing happened with Aedan, and while they liked to mock them for the fact that _they_ were the short ones now, Rheya liked to remind them who they came to when they had trouble keeping up with their training. That usually quieted them.

‘The trick is not to have lunch before.’

‘Or you’re just using magic.’

‘I don’t need magic to be an excellent flyer. I’m just _that_ good.’

Azriel went through numerous instructions and corrected some Fae on their position and technique, barely paying any attention to them. Rheya liked to believe that he just couldn’t hear their incessant whispering, but those shadows coiling around his frame knew and heard everything. He just chose to ignore them for a while.

‘Where is Aedan? He doesn’t skip training,’ Caiden noted, stretching out his back.

‘Mom let him sit in one of her meetings to observe. I convinced her to let me attend one next week as well,’ she grinned, making him scoff.

‘I have no idea how you two can go through that sort of torture willingly. Last time dad made me come, I fell asleep after twenty minutes. They’re a bore.’

Rheya crossed her legs under her, arching her wings back. At least the shaking stopped.

‘They’re fun when mom starts threatening Fae. And when they negotiate and fail to realise that she won’t give in to their demands.’

‘Do any of them end on bad terms?’

‘Most of them,’ she said, and Caiden’s grin matched hers.

The doors burst open, catching everyone’s attention. Rheya sighed almost involuntarily as she beheld her twin, hair a complete mess from flying, wearing her training top and her skirt from school over her leggings. Evie winced when she realised everyone was staring at her, mouthing a _‘sorry’_ to Azriel, whose arms were folded across his chest in a very _‘you’re in so much trouble’_ manner. Her eyes landed on them and as she raced to sit down, she threw her bag in one corner and struggled to take off her skirt.

One guy whistled while two other laughed. Evie’s head whipped in his direction.

‘Zip it, Cirro, before I rip out your tongue,’ she sneered.

‘But you make tardy look so hot,’ Cirro whined dramatically, making everyone snicker.

‘You know what else is hot, Cirro? Four laps around. Evie, since you’re also late, why don’t you join him?’

‘But it wasn’t my fault, I—‘

One look from Azriel shut her up. Rheya couldn’t help but snicker.

‘Don’t laugh, that moronic new teacher made me stay back until I finished my assignment,’ Evie whispered angrily as she took off her skirt, tying her long hair in an unsteady ponytail. ‘Did you nail it this time?’

Rheya nodded. ‘Not one of them hit me.’

Evie clasped her hands together. ‘I knew you could do it! I’m so sorry I missed it. But we can try it again tomorrow and maybe use real arrows this time? I know I’d—‘

‘Evie, _now,’_ Azriel intervened.

With an exasperated sigh, Evie ran off to do her laps, jabbing Cirro in the ribs every time he tried talking to her.

‘Will she ever stop giving him such a hard time?’ Caiden asked beside her.

‘Not until he stops being so openly in love with her,’ she scoffed. ‘Or maybe he’s just a masochist. Evie likes torturing boys.’

‘Oh, I know. I’ll never forget the day when Ash Greyvine brought her roses and she used the thorns to stick them to the teacher’s chair. Unforgettable.’

They laughed at the memory as they watched Azriel yell at them to move faster. Evie complained that she didn’t have her running shoes on, which only made him shake his head. Out of all of them, Evie was always giving him a hard time. Frankly, she gave everyone a hard time.

* * *

‘And what do you do if I have you in this hold?’

Her elbow hit back instinctively, barely hitting Azriel in the solar plexus before he pulled back, an arm still around her throat.

‘Good. And if your arms are immobilised as well?’

She threw her head back with as much force as she could muster, aiming to hit his chin, but again, Azriel pulled back. He let go of her, nodding appreciatively.

‘Good job, Rheya. Evie, want to try as well?’

Evie gave only a gruff as she attempted to get out of Caiden’s grasp. They were on a training mat, with Caiden currently having her on her stomach and her legs trapped, teasing her endlessly. It was an intricate manner of keeping someone on the ground; while her arms weren’t trapped, she could hardly reach out to him, and if she flared her wings, she’d most probably hurt them in the process. Rheya usually got out of a back mount like that by kicking her leg over her opponent’s, rotating her hips so their left knee would bend, bringing it closer to her arm, making the hold easier to get out of. Then she’d just kick back on her feet and they’d fall on their face, then probably twist their legs so they’d stay down.

Evie, on the other hand, chose differently. Somehow, she managed to twist her waist and throw a punch in his stomach, taking him by surprise. That diverted his attention, weakening his hold on her, leaving enough room to pull back her legs and grip his exposed throat with them, taking him to the ground.

She looked at Azriel and Rheya with big, gleeful eyes. ‘That was faster than before!’

She ignored Caiden’s struggling, but before he’d have a chance to either pinch her thighs or hit her somewhere that would definitely bruise, Evie went on her back, bringing him with her. She placed one arm behind one of his, rendering it useless, andcaught the other right under his neck, where he was currently suffocating.

‘Give up yet?’ She chirped.

‘No!’ He muttered, face turning rapidly red.

Caiden attempted to find a way to get out of that hold, but with every move, Evie applied more pressure on his neck, pushing out his left arm so that it’d hurt more.

While Caiden was definitely bigger than Evie, who was leaner and didn’t have his muscles, she learned how to use people’s size and height against them. Their dad taught them how to; he said that bigger males would always view them as easy prey because of their size, but you can always use it to your advantage. They were faster, stealthier, and could easily get out of any restrictive hold.

Caiden tapped one hand against her leg and Evie let go, letting out a victorious cheer. Their cousin glared at her.

‘I guess I shouldn’t worry too much about self defence with you,’ Azriel noted. ‘Caiden, you’re turning purple. Are you alright?’

He waved a hand, muttering something incoherent, before lying back on the mat to catch his breath. Evie basically skipped towards them, beaming.

‘That was so much fun.’

‘I definitely couldn’t tell,’ she said. ‘Uncle Az, are we done for today? We’ve been here for hours now.’

Azriel checked the time, looking surprised to see how late it was. Then he addressed the entire class and dismissed them, but before her and Evie could get away, he motioned for them to wait.

‘Do you think he knows?’ Evie whispered, clutching her arm.

‘Of course he knows,’ she whispered back, looking at her sister. ‘The question is, will he tell on us?’

Evie worried at her lip while the other Fae left the training hall, Cirro stopping long enough to compliment Evie on her glorious beauty. She merely flipped him off, not even looking at him.

Her twin _was_ beautiful. While they shared most physical features, Evie kept her hair long, a few purple and blue streaks catching your attention. Rheya preferred to keep her hair shorter, barely grazing her shoulders. Given that Evie trained more than she did, her body was leaner, with long, slim legs and a snatched waist. She paid more attention to sweets than training, which resulted in a curvier aspect. Not that she didn’t like it; this way, Evie could no longer steal her tops or dresses.

As soon as everyone left — excluding Caiden, who was still catching his breath — Azriel focused his attention on them.

Rheya adored their uncle. He was quieter than uncle Rhys, which she usually preferred, and didn’t treat them like his nieces during training. He also took them out for ice-cream, listened to their hours-long rambling about school drama, and let them wield the grown ups weapons.

His ‘teacher’ mask fell off, leaving way for the annoyed uncle to slip back on. Not a good sign.

‘Two things,’ he began. ‘Why were you late? Again?’

‘It really wasn’t my fault! We have this idiot new teacher and he wouldn’t let me leave because I forgot to do my homework!’

‘Forgot, or chose not to?’

‘I was too tired to do it, actually. Yesterday you kept us here until what, eight?’

‘Nine,’ replied Caiden from the floor.

‘Nine,’ nodded Evie.

‘So I’m to blame for your lack of time-managing skills?’

Rheya suppressed a smile.

‘No, but I can’t be expected to stay on top of everything, right?’ She waved a nonchalant hand, hoping to sweeten his mood. ‘I promise I won’t be late again. Promise, promise, promise!’

Azriel shook his head at her childish pout, which she only did to get out of whatever punishment he had planned for her. It usually involved endless laps.

‘Last time,’ he warned, and Evie nodded vigorously. ‘And the second thing, I was informed by a friend of mine that someone broke into the headmistress’ office just a couple of days ago.’

Caiden sit back up, panic all over his face, and although Azriel had his back on him, he probably sensed the abrupt movement. Rheya schooled her features into innocent surprise, as did Evie. At least they knew how to lie.

‘Now I don’t want to accuse you _all_ ,’ he pointed towards Caiden as well, ‘of doing something this bad, but my friend may have said that one of them had coloured hair.’

_Damn it, Evie._

‘Many kids at our school have coloured hair,’ Rheya intervened before her sister could say anything stupid. ‘Rory has pink hair. Is she also one of the suspects?’

‘I highly doubt Rory has any reason to break into the headmistress’ office.’

‘And we do?’ Caiden inquired.

‘You had an exam yesterday, didn’t you?’ Azriel cocked his head to the side, analysing them. ‘What was it, History of the Realm?’

They nodded.

‘The test samples are kept inside the headmistress’ office, are they not?’

They nodded again. Shit, shit, shit.

‘So it’s only natural for me to ask if you had anything to do with it.’

Evie’s hand turned sweaty on her arm, and Rheya knew that she’d lose it in a couple of seconds. Azriel had a way of prying the truth out of their mouths without even trying. Caiden looked at Rheya, just as startled as Evie.

_Admit or play stupid?_

But this was Azriel, and he always, _always_ found out the truth. Maybe coming clean would be better than lying to him.

With a long sigh, Rheya nodded. ‘It was us. I wanted to know what the essay question was because I didn’t want to risk failing it. They helped me.’

She made sure not to include Aedan’s name, who had also been there. Better to spare him the punishment.

‘Rheya—‘ Evie began, but she squeezed her wrist in warning.

‘You wanted to know the essay question?’ Azriel asked, now looking amused. ‘I find that hard to believe.’

‘Why?’

‘Because you know everything there is to know about our history.’

‘It included the history of the continents, and I didn’t know what it would focus on,’ she explained. ‘It wasn’t regarding the Night Court, and what if it focused on the political aspects, or the agricultural ones, or economical ones? I needed to know! If it was about the cities from the continent, then I would’ve definitely failed, because I find those chapters really boring, and if it was about certain courts from here, I needed to know on what they’d specifically want me to talk about! I didn’t even look at the other questions, I just wanted to know that specific one.’

Azriel raised one brow, eyes darting from her to Evie. She didn’t lie completely; she _was_ curious about the essay question, but Evie and Caiden wanted to know the first part of it, and Aedan had been there just to make sure no one would spot them. Later, they’d shared what they found with him, too, so in all fairness, they were all to blame.

But she had a higher chance of getting out of it, judging by their history.

‘Alright,’ he nodded. ‘Did anyone catch you?’

They shook their heads.

‘I won’t tell your parents on one condition. Don’t do it again.’

‘We won’t,’ Evie answered.

‘If any of you will end up failing that History exam, then I’ll be extremely disappointed. All that work for nothing.’

Rheya sighed in relief. Thank the Cauldron, he wasn’t going to tell on them.

‘And Rheya?’

She met her uncle’s dark, knowing eyes. His lips tugged upwards.

‘Nice try, taking all the blame. Maybe next time I’ll believe you.’

* * *

‘Can you believe he found out? Do you think he’s spying on us?’

Rheya huffed, taking off her jacket. Summer was approaching fast, and while she loved the warm weather, it only made her feel more gross after training.

‘Of course he is. I’d be surprised if he wasn’t.’

Evie was a few steps ahead of them, muttering to herself about how they should have some rights to privacy. Caiden tried to tell her that they were practically trespassing, which was considered an illegal activity, but she paid him no attention. She was too busy staring at the sweets stands.

‘I’m getting some ice cream,’ she announced before approaching one of the smiling servers. They recognised her immediately, therefore them, too, and waved an excited arm towards them.

Rheya and Caiden waved back, ignoring her sore arm.

‘So,’ he began, focusing his attention on her. ‘I didn’t see Vesper at training today. Have you?’

She wisely kept her stare on a vendor beckoning customers. It was well past dark, but the stands were out until midnight.

‘No, why would I? Isn’t he _your_ friend?’

She could see Caiden’s smirk from the corner of her eyes. ‘That, he is. He also likes you.’

Eyes wide, Rheya nearly sprained her ankle as she turned around to face him. ‘First of all, you know I’m not a fan of Vesper. He’s annoying, just like you’re annoying right now. Second of all, do not repeat that in front of Evie, or she’ll go off the fucking rails. Got it?’

Caiden bent a little so he could be on the same eye-level with her. The same eyes she and Evie shared; Lucie got lucky and had uncle Rhys’ violet eyes.

‘You like him too, don’t you?’

‘Why would I like him? He makes comments about me all the time. He made fun of my skirt at school a couple of days ago, remember?’

Caiden rolled his eyes. ‘Rheya, if he’d been acting rude or mean towards you, I would’ve stomped on his neck by now. He’s teasing you because he likes you. And that skirt was hideous, no offence.’

With great effort, Rheya tried to still her beating heart. Not from emotions — no, from anger. Vesper was a nuisance; a good-looking nuisance, but still a nuisance.

‘Why are you suddenly so interested in my love life?’

Caiden shrugged, eyes dancing with mirth. ‘I thought I’d help you see it, since the poor guy can’t tell you himself.’

‘Oh, good, just what I like in a guy.’

‘It’s not like that. He doesn’t even know I’m telling you this, but I’m pretty sure he’s afraid you’ll hex him if he says anything out loud.’

A pleased smile formed on Rheya’s face. ‘He’s smart, I’ll give him that.’

‘So you won’t try and talk to him for once?’

‘We’ll talk about that as soon as we talk about _you_ ,’ she said with a pointed glance. ‘Since we’re on the topic of love. What do you say?’

The amusement faded from his eyes in a heartbeat. ‘Not funny, Rheya.’

He started walking ahead, even though Evie was still at the stand, probably trying to decide what to pick. Rheya caught up with him easily.

‘I wasn’t trying to be funny, I was serious! Are we never going to talk about it?’

His jaw was set in a tight lock. ‘No.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because,’ he gestured around. ‘Because it’s pointless!’

‘I wouldn’t call it pointless. You know you can talk to me, Cay. I’m your friend.’

In that moment, being his friend meant more than just his cousin. Rheya saw the quiet torment in his eyes, and though he refused to speak openly about it with anyone, she knew. And he knew that she knew, but chose to never bring it up, because whenever she did… Well, _this_ happened.

‘I know you are,’ he said quietly. ‘But _he_ ’s also my friend.’

As if summoned by their conversation, Aedan appeared at the end of the street, swinging an arm in their direction. He was alone as he made his way towards them, hands shoved in his pockets and the wind kicking back his shaggy hair. He and Caiden were the same height, which meant that both towered over Rheya.

‘I saw that you were quite late and thought you’d go out without me. Didn’t want to miss in on the fun,’ he said by way of hello. ‘How was the flying exercise? Did you do it this time?’

Pride flared in her chest one more. ‘I did. Not one arrow hit me.’

‘I knew you’d do it,’ he smiled in earnest now, reaching to ruffle her hair. Rheya ducked instantly, giving him a pointed glare. ‘Cay, are we still on for tonight?’

Caiden nodded, grinning as if nothing had happened. ‘Damn right we are. The rest said that they’d meet us there.’

‘Meet you were?’

‘We’re going to that tavern by the Rainbow,’ he explained.

‘And we weren’t invited because…?’

Caiden crossed his arms over his chest. ‘Vesper will be there. Are you sure you want to come?’

Before Rheya had a chance to answer, Evie appeared out of nowhere, carrying four cones of ice cream.

‘I saw you show up, so I got you one as well,’ she said, pushing a truffle chocolate icecream cone in his hands. ‘Rheya, I got you raspberry, Cay, I got you hazelnuts.’

Hers was, of course, a mix of vanilla, strawberry, lemon, and gods know what else. They thanked her as they took their ice cream, walking idly towards their house.

‘So,’ Caiden said, ‘what’s it going to be, Rheya? Are you going to come?’

‘Come? Come where?’ Evie asked. ‘Are you going out?’

‘Yes,’ said Aedan, licking his finger. ‘The tavern by the Rainbow.’

Evie’s mouth hung open. ‘Why weren’t we invited?!’

‘Rheya doesn’t want to come,’ Caiden shrugged, but she could see the mischievous glean in his eyes. Oh, he was going to pay for it…

Evie whirled towards her, eyes frantic. ‘Come on, Rheya, it’s been ages since we went out! Can we go, please? _Please_?’

It definitely hadn’t been ages, but she wasn’t going to point that out to her. Evie would go mad if she had to stay indoors for more than one day.

But to go there would imply courting madness. Because Vesper _was_ mad. They were in the same class, and gods, did he love to bug her with his incessant talking and attempts to pair up with her for projects. Once, he annoyed her so much, she magically shut his mouth for an entire class.

Still, Rheya wasn’t the sort of person to fret over the presence of a boy. Her mother would faint if she even _heard_ that. She wanted to go out and spend time with them, laugh a little, even if she had to try her hardest not to strangle Vesper with her bare hands. Not that it wouldn’t be beneficial towards her training…

‘Alright,’ she relented, and Evie beamed. ‘We can go.’

‘Fantastic! Oh, I know exactly what to wear. I have those pants from…’

* * *

Nesta didn’t think that she’d end up sneaking into her own home, drenched in blood and gore from a meeting gone wrong. But the last thing she wanted was for her youngest daughter to see her like that, because she was pretty sure Rory would either faint or cry for at least a couple of hours. It was better to keep her away from that grim aspect of her job, since she was only nine, slowly making her way towards ten. She had time.

Still, she couldn’t help but scowl as she used a ladder long forgotten from their shed to balance it against the side of the house, right below her balcony. As she made the rather tedious trek, chiding herself for wearing a dress out of all things, Nesta recalled the pleasant events of the evening.

She had met with a charming group of mortals from the Mortal Realms. They had deigned to meet in their court, after an associate of hers who mastered the winnowing art agreed to bring them here, and discussed the recent issues that occurred in the past couple of weeks. To put it plainly, the mortals attacked a couple from the Night Court who was passing through the Mortal Realm on their way to the continent for a short visit. They had managed to immobilise them by using poison, then proceeded to kill the two males in cold blood. Nesta would not forgive that.

So, under the pretence of discussing reconciliation, Nesta let the small party of seven have a go at her, reminding her that once upon a time, she’d been one of them, that she should understand why they feared the Fae. They didn’t seem to hear that the couple was harmless, not even well versed in magic, and were simply on a vacation. They threw insults at her and the court, claiming that Fae were the root of evil, seeming to forget where they were or the peril they were in.

The second they were done, Nesta killed them one by one.

It had been delightful. Killing obtuse mortals always was.

As soon as she gripped the rail of her balcony, arms drenched in blood, drying up under her fingernails, Nesta hauled herself over the edge, pushing the ladder to the ground. Maybe Cassian wasn’t in their bedroom just yet.

Quiet as a cat, Nesta unlocked their balcony door with a twist of her wrist, then slowly, carefully, let herself in. Oh, good, he wasn’t here. She unfastened her cloak, revealing a dress that had once been green, but was now smeared with dark red. There wasn’t even a point in trying to get their maid to wash it; it would never come off.

‘Fun day at work?’

She froze with her cloak in her hands, eyes landing on her mate, who was leaning on the threshold of their bathroom, mirth dancing in his eyes.

‘See, this is the sort of behaviour I was expecting from the twins and Aedan, not you. My fault for making assumptions, I guess.’

She sighed, moving past him to throw the cloak in a laundry basket that was specially designed for blood-soaked clothes. Gods knew how often this happened.

‘I didn’t want Rory to see me like this. It would’ve freaked her out.’

‘And what of my poor heart? What if I fainted when I saw my gorgeous, intelligent, scary mate show up covered head to toe in blood?’

Nesta faced him then, taking in his playful smile, his buzzing excitement. Leave it to Cassian to be thrilled by the sight of Nesta drenched in blood.

‘The only reason why you’d faint from this is because it turns you on so much,’ she grinned. ‘How are you not worried over the possibility of me being injured?’

Cassian watched her as she turned on the faucet of the washing basin and attempted to scrub the blood from her hands. ‘I felt you way before you made your way up that ladder, sweetheart. If you were hurt, I would’ve known instantly.’

Of course, she knew that. Plus, distance didn’t even matter when they shared a mating bond; no matter where they were, they could sense when the other was in pain or hurt.

‘Who got on your bad side today?’

As she began cleaning herself, Nesta told him of the meeting. He listened intently, frowning at the mention of the cruel acts of the humans, but perked up immediately when she told him of the way she ended their existence.

‘I’m a bit insulted that you didn’t invite me as well,’ he said at the end.

Nesta attempted to reach her zip behind her back, but when she realised there was no way she’d do it, she turned her back to Cassian. ‘Zip, please. And I promise that the next time I plan an execution, you’ll be on the list of guests.’

‘That’s what I like to hear,’ he whispered in her ear, the zip going down. He pushed her ruined dress to the ground, then turned her around, capturing her mouth in his in a searing kiss.

She gave in at once, forgetting all about the blood that coated her. For whatever reason she couldn’t understand, Cassian always got worked up whenever Nesta was in one of these moments, reeking of death and fury and vengeance. But then again, she also liked it when he was like that, too. It called to a primal part of her brain.

They kissed for what felt like hours, his wandering hands gripping her hips, fiddling with her underclothes, waking her body and making it call for his touches. As her clothes came completely off, he tugged her inside the shower, turning on the hot water.

Before she had a chance to pull him against her, Cassian slipped out, a bemused look on his handsome face.

‘I’d love to, but I _just_ had a shower.’

‘You’re joking, right?’ She asked, not quite sure what to make of it.

And then he pulled off his shirt and pants so fast, it made her laugh.

‘Damn right I’m joking. I’m not passing this wonderful opportunity up. If I ever do, you have permission to kill me.’

‘Gladly,’ she whispered against his lips, chest bursting with love, before wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.

* * *

They were in Nesta’s office when they heard the kids walk in. She was in the middle of showing him some trading contracts between the camps that he needed to approve, but as usual, they would not see eye to eye on such matters.

‘You’re being ridiculous,’ she said, shoving a piece of paper in his face. ‘This clearly states that it’s more than enough livestock for the population they gave. Why would they need more sheep and cows and whatever else they’re getting?!’

‘Throw in some chickens and I’ll agree,’ he retorted, biting into an apple as he sat in her chair, feet propped on the edge of her desk. It infuriated her how comfortable he looked.

‘No chickens. They got chickens two months ago!’

‘And what if they ran out of chickens? Maybe they ate them all.’

‘You’re not being serious, are you?’

‘I am serious, just as you are cheap.’

Nesta’s mouth hung open. ‘I am not being cheap! You’re just out of your damn mind with these requests! Livestock, grains of all sorts, weapons, food provisions, medical equipment, construction materials,’ she listed them one by one, and then some. ‘It’s too much. I would’ve understood if it were winter, but it’s nearly summer. And if you really want them all, then I’ll have to raise their taxes.’

‘You can’t do that,’ he said simply, eating that damn apple.

‘Of course I can. You can check with Rhys, if it’ll make you feel better.’

There — a crack in his cheerful demeanour. It almost made her smile.

‘You’d raise their taxes for _basic necessities?_ ’

‘You and I both know that’s not the case, _sweetheart_ ,’ she said sweetly, using his preferred nickname for her. ‘You give them too much, too often. Keep acting this way and they’ll grow used to it, and then when we can’t give them too many supplies, they’ll riot against us. Is that what you want?’

‘They won’t,’ he waved his hand, but she could see the doubt in his eyes. ‘Fine, I’ll agree to what you wrote on those papers, but only if you throw in at least fifty chickens.’ When he saw her annoyed face, he made an exasperated noise. ‘Come on, fifty chickens are nothing!’

‘They are! You’re trying to scam me!’

‘I’m not!’

A soft knock on the door interrupted their charade. It was already open, revealing four unnerved faces that stared at them incredulously.

‘Should we come back later?’ Evie asked, fighting back a smile.

‘Of course not, we were just discussing some work stuff,’ Nesta said, her anger dissipating at once at the sight of her children and nephew.

‘Is that how you discuss work stuff? I thought you were fighting,’ Caiden said as they made their way inside, plopping down on the couch and armchairs.

‘Oh, if we were fighting, you’d know,’ Cassian said, throwing the apple core in her trash bin. ‘The house would probably burn down. How was training? Rheya, tell me everything. Don’t leave any details out.’

Rheya’s face lit up as she began telling him how she nailed one of the hardest flying exercises she’d ever tried. As she went on and on, Nesta looked closely at Cassian’s face; it glowed with pride and love, and she wouldn’t be surprised if he started crying any second now.

She was pretty certain that the day their children made their first kill, Cassian would weep with joy for days.

‘Did you make it in time?’ Nesta asked Evie.

‘You bet I did.’

‘You didn’t,’ Cassian said.

‘How did you know?’

‘I had a hunch, but now I know.’ He smirked.

Already tired of the small talk, Aedan cleared his throat. ‘Anyway, we’re not here for Evie’s trial, although I’d be happy to attend it later.’

Evie glowered at her brother, baring her teeth. Nesta suppressed a smile.

‘Can we go to the tavern by the Rainbow? We’re meeting a few friends there. We won’t stay out late,’ he added, knowing that it would help persuade them.

Nesta set in the only armchair left. ‘All of you?’

They nodded in unison.

‘Even _you?’_

Rheya threw out her hands. ‘What is so wrong with me going out?!’

‘Nothing’s wrong, darling, you just never seemed too eager to go to a tavern,’ she said, then winced. ‘Not that I blame you. They can be disgusting.’

‘Only if you’re a pretentious snob,’ Cassian added helpfully.

Nesta’s left eye twitched.

‘So, can we go?’ Evie asked.

‘Do your parents know?’ She asked Caiden, who shook his head yes.

‘Already told them. They said if they’re going, I can go, too.’

That didn’t came as a surprise. Caiden was younger than the twins and Aedan, so it made sense that he’d be allowed to go to a tavern only with them. Not that they were too responsible; well, except Rheya, maybe. Aedan was debatable, depending on his shifting spirits, but Evie was out of the question.

She’d already made up her mind, but took her sweet time pretending to think about it, enjoying how they shifted and squirmed. She could feel Cassian’s amusement when she opened her senses to him, but he remained quiet, knowing how much she loved this part.

‘Alright,’ she relented at last. ‘You can go. If you’re not home by eleven, you’re in trouble. Don’t make me come after you.’

‘You mean, send me after them, ‘cause we all know you wouldn’t go,’ Cassian cut in.

Nesta shrugged. ‘Semantics.’

Already done with the conversation, they stood up and almost raced for the door, no doubt to get ready, but Nesta hurried after them before they could evade her.

‘I didn’t get to hug any of you today,’ she said as she hugged the closest one to her, Rheya, and kissed the top of her head. Gods, she was almost as tall as Nesta now.

‘Will you always do this?’ Rheya grumbled, but hugged her back nonetheless.

‘Yes. It’s mandatory.’

‘I don’t mind. I love hugs,’ Evie said, and as soon as Rheya got out of the way, she basically jumped in Nesta’s arms. She laughed at her unending enthusiasm, smoothing back her hair.

‘You’re still three,’ Nesta said, grinning.

‘That’s why I’m your favourite.’

‘I don’t have favourites. I do have a favourite son, though,’ she said as Aedan groaned.

‘I am your _only_ son,’ he complained, but there was fondness on his face.

Before he could escape, Evie gripped his arm and pulled him into the hug. Nesta thought twice about telling him that he needed a haircut; once, he cut his own hair just to get her off his back, and the results had been… disastrous.

Aedan liked to play the tough boy act and pretend that he didn’t like this sort of affection, but Nesta knew better. He always hugged her back the fastest; even faster than Rory.

‘If any of you gets back drunk, you’re disowned,’ she warned, letting go of them. ‘Especially _you_ ,’ she pointed towards Caiden, ruffling his dark hair. ‘You’re still a baby. Don’t drink.’

At that, his eyes went wide. ‘I am _not_ a baby!’

The others burst into laughter, including Cassian. Caiden’s cheeks were tinted pink.

‘Does it help if I say you’re a cute baby?’

‘Aunt Nesta, you’re merciless,’ he sighed, but hugged her nonetheless. ‘Aunt Mor would all but shove a bottle of wine in my hands if she could.’

‘She’s my role model,’ Evie sighed.

‘You better leave before I change my mind. And I mean it, don’t come back drunk. Aedan?’

He turned around, those cat eyes gleaning brightly. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll bring them all back in one piece.’

Nesta’s worries eased. She knew Velaris was the safest place in the world for the, but you could never be too safe. It’s not like she wasn’t aware that the girls and Caiden could very well protect herself, but she knew they wouldn’t pay attention to their surroundings all the time. They could let their guard down. They could be too trusting. Aedan would never do any of those.

As soon as they left, going upstairs to change, Nesta sighed. ‘Look at them, already going out to party. We should be the ones going out to party.’

‘Why don’t we do that? We can go somewhere fancier, though, not a tavern. I know you don’t like those.’

Cassian snaked his arms around her waist, leaning down so his cheek was grazing hers.

‘I’d love to, but we’re not going to leave Rory home alone.’

‘Who said anything about that? Rory! Can you come here, please?’

‘Where is _‘here’_?’

They both chuckled. ‘Mom’s office!’

Rory strode into the office, those identical cat eyes that she and Aedan shared falling on them. Her hair, more than half of it a soft pink, was tied in two adorable pigtails, and she was carrying a cereal bowl in her hands. She waited, tapping one foot against the floor, eating her cereals.

‘Do you want to go out?’ Cassian asked her, and a slow, wicked smile spread across Rory’s face.

‘Just the three of us?’

‘Just the three of us,’ Nesta said.

‘None of them is coming?’ The tapping stopped. ‘Thank the gods, I’ll be ready in ten minutes!’

With that, Rory vanished upstairs, the air colder than it was before she entered. Her excitement usually influenced her powers.

‘The only one left who still loves to hang out with us,’ Cassian sighed, resting his chin on her shoulder. ‘I never want her to grow up.’

‘I can’t even picture her not playing with dolls.’

‘At least we convinced her to give half of them to Lucie. Her room was turning into a doll museum. It was creepy.’

‘Don’t tell me you’re scared of dolls,’ Nesta grinned. ‘The fearless leader of the Night Court armies, backing away at the sight of some porcelain dolls. That would be a marvellous sight.’

‘They’re creepy and you have to admit that,’ he whispered, his sharp canines grazing the sensitive skin of her neck. That grin faded instantly. ‘It’s still so easy to get you to shut up.’

‘Do you have a death wish?’

‘Since I’m mated to you, I obviously do.’

He kissed that spot, arms tightening around her. Nesta didn’t dare to move or pull away; between his arms was still her favourite place to be.

‘Do you think they’ll do anything stupid?’ She asked after a few moments.

‘No, but then again, I wouldn’t be surprised if they did. But they’re in Velaris, what could possibly go wrong?’

She thought the same thing, but something, a little part of her mind, told her that she shouldn’t be too sure of that.


	34. Chapter 34

The barmaid’s face brightened up the moment she saw the four of them entering the tavern. Evie recognised her immediately; her name was Neva, and she was a friend of her family. She had known her since she was a baby.

But then again, everyone in this city did.

Evie was relieved to see that the tavern wasn’t all that crowded — a dozen or so Fae were seated at different tables across the big room with the low ceiling, glasses of ale clinking and music making the creaky wooden floors shake. At a table in the back, away from the view of most, were the Fae they were supposed to meet.

She sensed Rheya’s body tense before she could even look at her.

At that large table were seated three Fae. Aelene, Zandro and, inevitably, Vesper, the one whom her sister always tried her best to ignore or avoid. The fact that she was here right now, going against her precious rules, made Evie’s chest burst with pride. A part of her hoped she’d finally snap at him.

Spotting them, Aelene waved frantically at them, lips pulling back in a toothy smile. The others, noticing her movements, turned their stares towards them.

Evie heard Rheya’s sharp intake of breath.

‘If you want to go,’ she said quietly as they made their way towards them, ‘give me the signal. I’ll make up something and get us out of here. Alright?’

Rheya nodded, her hair swaying back and forth as she moved. ‘Thank you.’

Grinning, Evie put her arm across her shoulder, leaning her head against hers. ‘What are twins for? If you also want me to beat him, I’d be more than willing to do that.’

‘Really? The idea of you offering to beat someone never even crossed my mind.’

‘What can I say? I’m a generous spirit.’

Their conversation ceased when Aelene stood up from her spot next to Zandro and wrapped her arms around the both of them, squealing worse than her younger sister.

‘I’m so glad you’re both here! We were making bets on the flying tournament. Rheya, you’re participating in the trials tomorrow, right?’

‘Of course she is. She’s going to beat those Peregryns and Seraphims for the, what is it? Second, third year in a row? I’ve lost count.’

Evie spotted Vesper sitting on the lone bench opposite of Aelene and Zandro, a lazy smile on his rather handsome face. Vesper wasn’t exactly her type, but she had to admit that he was eye candy with that blue, shaggy hair and startling grey eyes. The top buttons of his white shirt were unbuttoned, revealing dark ink covering a large portion of his chest and spreading down his arms, which were littered with faint scars. Just like Zandro, they were Illyrians, both casualties of the civil wars that took place in the northern camps years ago. They have been living here since they were no more than toddlers, with new, better families.

Zandro was two years younger than them, in the same class as Caiden, though you couldn’t really tell the difference. He was tall for his age, with a muscled body and a sharp look in his eyes. His dark hair was buzzed, showing his perfectly chiseled face, with a bone structure that Evie couldn’t help but envy. His green eyes were a stark contrast against his deep brown skin, and his dark tunic covered the ink she knew he also had. Most Illyrians inked their skin at this age.

Aelene, her closest friend, hit Vesper under the table, glaring at him with her red, violent eyes. Her almost white hair was braided at the back, and just like Evie, she was wearing a dress that did wonders to her lithe form. Aelene was High Fae, the daughter of a rich family in the city, and they’d been friends for years now. She was on par with Evie when it came to getting in trouble and pranks, though they didn’t share the love of fighting. Aelene was a daemati in training.

‘We’re here to have fun, not get into petty arguments. Right, Vesper?’

But Vesper wasn’t paying attention to Aelene; his eyes were glued to Rheya, who tensed. Evie knew he’d get under her skin soon enough.

‘Alright,’ she cut in, ‘what are we drinking? Aedan, Caiden, can you tell Neva to bring us some ginger ale? Where’s the betting list, I want to see who’s competing this year.’

Just to dim the spirits, Evie claimed the seat next to Vesper, but not before glaring at him. His smile faded a little bit.

‘Anything else, princess?’ Aedan teased her.

‘Now that you mention it, ask her if she has some cake. I’m craving some chocolate cake.’

Rheya sat next to Aelene, who began talking faster than a windmill, telling Rheya what the odds were this year. She looked at ease with her, but each time Vesper glanced at her, she tensed all over again. Zandro chipped in with information about each contender — he was also participating, just like Vesper and Caiden— and began making plans. Most of the time, Illyrians would become allies in an attempt to get rid of the opposing teams, and then they’d begin working against each other. It was a tournament of betrayals and working behind each other’s back. Last year, Rheya won, and they’d celebrated for two days in a row. The whole town had been proud of her accomplishment.

‘So, Vesper, I didn’t see you in training today. What were you up to? Burning orphanages to the ground?’

He smiled, his sharp canines almost shining. ‘No, I usually do that at the end of the weekend. I was helping my mother out at the restaurant. Heavy carrying and stuff like that.’

Vesper’s mother, a well-loved cook and owner of her parents’ favourite restaurant by the Sidra, was quickly approaching her due date. His father was a Council member in at one of the Palaces, though Evie couldn’t remember which one. Her mother said that he was one of the less annoying ones, which, coming from her, was a high compliment.

‘I just can’t picture you as a big brother,’ Evie shook her head. ‘You’d drop the baby on its head.’

Vesper scoffed. ‘I’ve seen you with Aurora. That kid is in constant danger next to you.’

‘That’s not true! I’m always careful.’

‘Didn’t you let her alone in the armoury once?’

‘So? Nothing happened.’

‘She was five,’ he said dryly, as if that was enough of an explanation. ‘just because you were wielding longswords at five, it doesn’t mean everyone else did.’

‘For your information, the first time I wielded a longsword, I was fifteen. And I couldn’t even handle it back then.’

Vesper was quiet for a moment, then burst into laughter. ‘You do realise how that sounded, right?’

Evie blinked, then she felt the heat rush to her cheeks. Without thinking twice, her hand went straight for the dagger strapped under her dress, unsheathing it. He pointed it towards Vesper’s neck as he wiped some tears away.

‘Now I know why my sister is always annoyed by you. You’re impossible.’

He didn’t even seem fazed by the dagger.

‘How am I to blame for what your mind conjures?’ He laughed. ‘I’m sure there are Fae out there who will appreciate your skill with… handling longswords,’ he laughed harder, and before she’d have the chance to nick the skin of his throat, someone pulled the dagger out of her hand.

Aedan placed it on the empty table behind her, then motioned for her to move down the bench, so he could sit between them.

‘No bloodshed while I’m here, please.’

‘Who put you in charge?’

‘Mom and dad. If you have any complaints, take it up with them. Here’s your ale and cake.’

Her annoyance vanished as soon as Aedan placed a plate of two big slices of chocolate cakes in front of her. She damn nearly hugged him.

‘I take it back. You can be in charge. You got me two slices,’ she almost hummed in excitement, picking up her fork.

Aedan flashed her a rare smile. ‘I’m an amazing brother, aren’t I?’

Evie didn’t even lie when she said, ‘The best one.’

He sat down between her and Vesper, providing a much-needed barrier, and fell into conversation with the rest. While she devoured her cake, the music ringing around and laughter indicating that some tables had more than enough ale, Evie wondered why Vesper acted like this towards her sister, even if he was head over heels for her.

Rheya laughed at something Aelene said, head tipping back. They never talked about it; they all thought she’d exaggerate or make a big deal out of it, but she knew. What she couldn’t understand, however, was why Vesper wouldn’t just grow a pair and tell her. There was probably a high chance that Rheya would turn him into a toad, sure, but at least he wouldn’t have to keep it a secret anymore.

Not that it was really a secret. Vesper wasn’t in any way subtle.

_Someone_ else was subtle, though, and Evie had been watching him closely for a long, long while now. Her dearest cousin, Caiden, happened to glance at Aedan a little bit too often, shift his body towards his, look at his face whenever he laughed, eyes a little bit wide, because that didn’t happen too often. The quiet, almost strangling pain in his eyes whenever a girl flirted with Aedan, or whenever he kissed one, because for whatever reason, girls seemed to find her brother attractive. When that happened, Evie saw how quickly Caiden turned away, how he pretended that nothing was wrong and that Aedan was only his best friend.

And they were. They’d been inseparable since Aedan moved in with them. They’d always had a soft spot for each other, but Evie wasn’t blind.

She knew unrequited love when she saw it.

And Caiden was so in love with Aedan, she was surprised by how well he managed to hide it.

What she didn’t understand, though, was why he never shared that with anyone. Was he afraid they’d react badly towards his preferences? No, that couldn’t be the case. Caiden was well aware that no one in his family cared about such things. His parents wouldn’t care if he liked boys rather than girls, as long as he was happy. They were all happy when their aunt Mor came out, and they’d be happy for Caiden as well.

Maybe… maybe he was afraid Aedan would reject him. Ruin their friendship.

As she took a sip of her ale, Evie propped her elbow on the table, resting her chin on her palm. That was absurd. Didn’t Caiden know that Aedan had kissed boys as well? He was as fluid with his sexuality as Evie was with her skill in weaponry.

But then she remembered… Only she and Rheya knew about that part, and only because they caught him kissing a boy. He’d never shared it with anyone else, not even their parents. Caiden didn’t know.

He thought Aedan would never see him like that.

An idea spurred into existence just as her twin squinted towards her. She cocked her head to her side, her sharp eyes waiting.

‘What?’ She asked innocently, lowering her fork.

‘You’ve got that look on your face.’

‘What look?’

‘The look you get when you’re about to do something stupid.’

Evie didn’t bother to contain her smirk, earning a groan from Rheya. She ran a hand through her curls, the thin strap of her top falling. She noticed Vesper’s attention shift towards her sister, though she paid him no attention.

‘Whatever you’re thinking about doing, don’t,’ she whispered across the table. ‘Can’t you just take the night off?’

‘What if I tell you that what I plan on doing would help someone else out? Someone sitting at this table?’

Rheya frowned, leaning closer. The others weren’t paying any attention to them.

‘Who?’

Evie didn’t name him, just glanced at Caiden for a second. Realising that, Rheya’s eyes went wide.

‘Don’t,’ was all she said. ‘Evie, I mean it, don’t get into that. I can promise you that it will blow right back in your face.’

‘How do you know that? I thought only aunt Elain was a Seer.’

She opened her mouth to say something, then just stood up, came around the table, gripped her forearm and nearly hauled her up.

‘We’re going to be right back.’

‘Easy on the hold, you’re going to leave bruises!’

‘As if you ever cared about that,’ she muttered as she dragged her in a quiet corner, far away from their table. When Rheya faced her, it was like staring in a mirror; only an angrier, slightly red mirror.

‘You’ve known for how long now?’ Evie inquired.

‘I could ask you the same thing.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me? Did you really think I couldn’t keep my mouth shut about it?’

‘It’s not that. I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d do something like this,’ she waved a hand towards the table. ‘Evie, Caiden refuses to even speak about it. He never acknowledged it out loud. If we get thrown in the mix, it won’t end well. We can’t force their hands.’

Evie scoffed, leaning on the wooden wall. ‘So we should just kick back and watch him suffer in silence? I don’t think so.’

‘We’re going to leave him to make his own decisions. If he doesn’t feel comfortable enough telling us about it, his _family_ , how do you think he feels about telling Aedan? Eve, it’s too much.’

‘For all we know, Aedan might like him, too,’ she shrugged. ‘Technically, they’re not family. I mean, they are, but you get what I mean. They’re not blood related. And they’re always together.’

Rheya sucked on a tooth, seeming lost in her own thoughts. This was her best shot.

‘I wasn’t going to tell Aedan anything,’ she explained. ‘I’m not an idiot. I just wanted to nudge them towards each other in a very subtle manner.’

‘There’s hardly anything subtle about you, Eve.’

She waved a dismissive hand. ‘Details. Here’s the deal — I swear I will not muster a word about it or make allusions regarding the situation. I’ll just make them both realise what’s standing in front of them, because they’re both very dense, and when they finally do, they’ll thank me. No harm, no foul.’

‘And if I told you not to do it, would you drop it?’

‘There’s a high chance that I won’t, but I’d rather have you on board with me. I’m not even saying that it’s going to work, but Rheya…’ she lowered her voice, smoothing out the wrinkles on her dress. ‘I want Aedan to know that he has this option. Love, I mean. All those girls that pine over him at school, we both know they don’t really like him for who he is. He always keeps them at distance. And who is the only one he confides to?’

‘Caiden.’ She answered, then frowned. ‘But for all we know, that doesn’t mean anything.’

‘Really?’ She chuckled. ‘Aedan trusts Cay. He knows all about his past. Has he ever shared that knowledge with anyone outside of our family?’

‘No.’

‘And you know that despite everything, he still lives with those scars. He deserves someone who understands that, and Caiden does. He looks at him like he’s the gods-damned sun when Aedan thinks he’s not even cut out for love. Do you know what he told me once? That the thought of being loved like _that_ never even crossed his mind. Even after all these years, I wonder if a part of him is still…’

She didn’t need to finish the sentence for Rheya to get where she was going. _I wonder if a part of him is still in the Hewn city. If he’s still in survival mode. If he thinks he is undeserving of love and good things._

Rheya closed her eyes, pain etched on her face. She didn’t want to see him in pain any more than she did.

‘So,’ she cleared her throat. ‘I won’t say a word, but I will still try. Aedan deserves this. I want him to be happy.’

‘So do I,’ Rheya sighed. ‘Fine. But promise you’ll be subtle about it? Please?’

Evie all but threw herself into her sister’s arms. She hugged her, and Rheya let her linger more than she let anyone else. It wasn’t that she hated hugs, but she was quite… selective with her physical affection. Although, after sharing the same womb for many months, then bed for years, Rheya always made an exception for Evie. And she loved her all the more for it.

‘I swear,’ she said, drawing back. ‘I’ll ask them to play some pool with me. In the meantime, keep those three at the table, will you?’

‘What?’ Her eyes went wide. ‘I don’t want to—‘

Peeling away from the wall, Evie bolted. ‘Thank you, I owe you one!’

_‘Evie!’_

She didn’t even look back. It was time to play the matchmaking with her cousin and brother.

‘Gods, that sounds so wrong,’ she laughed to herself.

* * *

Rheya was twirling her dagger between her fingers as she watched the room from her spot. More Fae joined the tavern; some, she recognised, and they also recognised her. Peregryns and Seraphims, all here for the trials which began tomorrow. They were all in the same age group — under twenty-five — and some openly glared at her, others bared their teeth in disdain. She didn’t bother to respond. She’d wipe the floors with them tomorrow.

A familiar laughter caught her attention. Evie was playing pool with Aedan and Caiden, knowing damn well that Aedan couldn’t play, so she suggested Caiden show him how to while she found excuses to leave them alone for a couple of minutes. First, she chatted with Neva, then with another barmaid. Then she ate a slice of cake while watching them together, a grin plastered on her face.

Her poor cousin looked ready to pass out, while Aedan was… Now that she looked at him more closely, he didn’t seem just as self-assured as he always was. Whenever Cay’s arm brushed his, or their hands touched, his eyes seem to follow the movements, cheeks tinted pink. It pained her to admit it, but Evie had been right. Maybe they did need a little push.

‘You’re still here? I thought you would’ve grown bored by now.’

Vesper sat across her, wings flaring slightly behind him. He’d left twenty minutes ago to talk with the contestants from tomorrow, while Aelene and Zandro left almost half an hour ago. Rheya wondered why he even bothered with the pleasantries; it’s not like they got him anywhere. They never allied with the Illyrians, no matter what.

‘ _Now_ I am officially bored.’

‘What a coincidence, then. I can keep you entertained.’

‘I’m perfectly fine by myself, thank you. Go fraternise with the enemy, see if you can score at least the second place this year.’

Vesper laughed deeply, as he did whenever she insulted him, which wasn’t often. Usually, Rheya just ignored him.

‘So you’re certain you’re going to win again?’

She nodded without looking at him.

‘What makes you so sure?’

‘My skills, I’d say. The aerial army would be thrilled to have me.’

‘But you don’t want to join the army, do you?’

Sighing, Rheya faced him with what she hoped was a placid expression. His blue hair was swept back, and she was pretty certain his shirt was more unbuttoned than it was when he left the table. The coat of ink that marked his skin looked brand new; she wondered how bad they hurt.

‘No, I don’t.’

‘Why’s that? You’re a skilled fighter.’

‘Because I don’t love fighting, like the rest of you do. I’d rather do something else.’

There were so many things she’d rather occupy herself with; magic, the ruling of the court, politics. She knew first-hand how difficult it was to rule a court, and was certain that when Caiden took the crown — which would be in a long, long time, when her aunt and uncle decided to step down, and in the case he even wanted to — he’d need trusted allies around him. She had never been much interested in the concept of power and even teased Caiden about the role he’d have to fill in one day, but she knew that she’d be in an advantageous position. She could _help_ others. She could do incredible things.

That’s what her parents told her, anyway. They were firm believers that all of them would grow up to be exceptional in whatever they decided to do.

Rheya just wasn’t sure what she wanted to do yet.

‘What would you do?’

‘Why do you care?’

‘Because this may just be one of the rarest occasions when you actually talk to me, and I’m curious.’

‘Go talk to a wall if you’re feeling chatty, Vesper, I’m busy.’

‘Busy doing what?’

She pointed to her ale before taking a long, long sip. Too bad there was no real alcohol in it. Vesper chuckled, but she didn’t allow herself to stare too much at his face, his shining, sharp canines and gorgeous eyes. Whenever she did, she forgot why she didn’t talk to him to begin with.

‘I’m not going to pass up this incredible opportunity of talking to you while we’re outside of school and training,’ he continued, clearly unfazed by her disinterested responses. ‘Although, I have to admit, I’m a bit scared to say anything around you when we’re training with your father. Last time I said something, he made me fly around the city twice. Against the _currents_.’

That made her chuckle. She vividly remembered that wonderful day; her father stepped in for Azriel and trained them for the day. Vesper usually made it so they’d be paired together during exercises and attempted to nag her throughout it, but her father wouldn’t have any of it. Vesper said something about pairing up for a flying exercise, saying that she could definitely teach him a thing or two, but her dad overheard everything, of course. Rheya was pretty sure he eavesdropped.

So he made him train alone.

Around the city.

She’d never loved her dad more than on that day.

It wasn’t that he was strict when it came to boys or girls, but he was still… well, he was their father. Her mom warned them a long time ago that he’d go full-on protective mode once they were old enough to date, which is why Evie kept all of her dates secret.

Her mom reacted the same with the girls Aedan sometimes hung out with, which is why no one brought their dates home. Utter humiliation ensued for the both parties.

‘In that case, Vesper, don’t talk to me anymore,’ she recommended with a sweet smile. ‘I’m pretty sure my dad wouldn’t be too thrilled to know I’m talking to you, either.’

That was partially true. He was always weary of Illyrian teenage boys; mostly because he’d been one, too, and didn’t want his daughters to be around playboys.

Rheya wondered if he knew that Evie was the textbook definition of an Illyrian playboy, too. Only with better taste.

‘If getting your dad to like me is what it takes for us to be friends, then I’m fine with it. I’ll get him to like me.’

Rheya couldn’t help but scoff at his audacity. ‘First of all, you don’t know my dad.’

‘Everyone knows your dad,’ he rolled his eyes.

‘He wouldn’t like you.’

‘I beg to differ. He’ll like me once he gets to know me. Just like you will,’ he winked.

Her lips curled back. ‘I don’t like you, Vesper.’

‘I know, Rheya, but that’s because you don’t know me. I thought we established that already,’ he waved a hand. ‘For someone so smart, you sure take your sweet time wrapping your mind around the situation.’

She could feel her ears turn red from anger. Gods, he was so full of himself, it was driving her mad.

‘What situation? There’s no situation! I don’t want to know you!’

‘Why not?!’

‘Because you’re entitled and arrogant!’

‘That’s not true!’ He fought back. ‘I just…’ he sighed, and to her astonishment, his cheeks turned a little bit pink as he looked sideways. ‘Would you laugh if I said that you’re terribly intimidating, and I have no idea how to talk to you?’

Rheya blinked once, wondering if she heard him right. When she registered his confession, she burst into laughter.

‘I guess you’ll laugh,’ he sighed as she clutched her stomach, laughing so hard that tears blurred her vision.

‘Oh, that was hilarious,’ she said, gasping for breath. ‘Vesper, that might just be the funniest thing that came out of your big mouth.’

‘I wasn’t kidding, you know. You _are_ intimidating.’

She wiped her cheeks, her laughter subduing little by little when she took notice of his serious expression.

_Shit, he is actually serious._

_Shit._

‘You are smarter than anyone I’ve ever met, you have a better grasp of magic than most of us do, and let’s not even mention your flying skills. Who wins the flying tournaments at sixteen? _No one_. And you know how I know that? I looked through the ledgers. You’re the first one under twenty to ever win this thing.’

‘You actually looked?’

He nodded. ‘There were bets at school, you know. I put my money on you. Needless to say, I made a small fortune.’

Rheya gaped at him like a fish outside of water, not knowing how to react. She was well aware of the bets; Evie, Aedan and the rest of her friends that weren’t participating bet on her, but the ones who were also participating… well, it was custom for them to bet on themselves. She never thought someone so self-sufficient and confident in his skills would even dream of putting his money on _her._

Not that she doubted her training. She knew what she was capable of, but sometimes, it was hard to convince others of that, too.

‘And since that’s all thanks to you, how about you let me repay you by inviting you out? Or if you don’t want that, it’s fine. We can do anything you want. I could watch you practice magic and I’d be more than happy.’

‘I…’ she looked around, wishing Evie was here to help her solve this. What did she usually do when someone asked her out? She had more knowledge than her on this matter. Why couldn’t she prepare first? She hated being caught off-guard. ‘Vesper, you’re asking me out? On a… _date?’_

She nearly whispered the word, because she truly did have a hard time wrapping her mind around the idea. Vesper, the boy she’d been ignoring for years, thinking he was nothing more than a loudmouth and a rascal, was actually interested in her.

He _liked_ her.

Oh, stars above, she did not see this coming.

For the first time since she’d met him, Vesper hesitated, his blush deepening. ‘Yes,’ he said, a tad too loud. ‘I’ve never actually been on a date before, but I want to. With you. Because I like you, if that wasn’t obvious enough.’

She was moments away from fainting.

‘I’ll… think about it?’ was all she managed to say.

However, that seemed to be more than Vesper was expecting, because a huge, almost child-like smile broke across his face. She’d never seen him smile like that.

‘Take all the time you need.’

* * *

‘I’m not sure how I feel about those two being alone,’ Aedan said, pointing towards her sister and Vesper with the tac. ‘They’ve never gone this long without an incident.’

On the other side of the table, Caiden hit the balls with his own tac, sending them in opposite directions. Two entered a hole. Lucky bastard.

‘I don’t think there’ll be an incident this time,’ he grinned, as if he knew something he didn’t. ‘They seem civil enough from here.’

Aedan considered the two of them again. Rheya wasn’t the sort of girl to entertain boys for her own amusement, much like Evie was, and was quick to turn away unwanted advances. As far as he knew, Vesper had never really tried anything of that sort with her, but judging by that dumb smile on his face, he suspected he’d played his card. Rheya wasn’t storming out just yet, so that must be a promising sign.

He needed to corner Vesper one of these days and have a chat with him. Friend or not, Rheya came first, and Rheya wasn’t Evie. She didn’t know how to play these sort of games, and she wouldn’t turn into a game for Vesper. Not if he had a say in it.

‘That’s what worries me,’ he shook his head, returning his attention to the game. He’d worry about those two later. ‘What’s this, the third time you’re winning? I think I should just give up.’

Caiden laughed, straightening his back. His wings were nowhere in sight; unlike the twins, he could make them disappear whenever he wanted to, just like his parents could.

‘You’ll get the hang of it. It takes a certain amount of concentration and finesse to win—’

‘— things you don’t possess, either,’ he pointed out.

‘…but in time, maybe you’ll manage to hit just one ball.’

Caiden was right, he was hopeless. Evie won the first round, after which, she magically disappeared somewhere in the crowd, as she always did. How she could manage to socialise so much after training and school baffled him; Aedan had spent the better part of a day at the stables, grooming his horse, and then sat in on a meeting with his mom. Both activities ran him ragged.

‘So, how are things with Meara?’

Aedan scrunched his nose. ‘There are no things with her. I don’t like her.’

Caiden gave him a strange look. ‘You were kissing her less than two weeks ago, Aedan.’

‘Fine, I don’t like her like _that_. She’s just not my type,’ he lied, surprising himself.

He hated lying to his best friend. Caiden knew all there was to know about him, especially his predilections when it came to girls — or, rather, what Aedan told him — so he saw right through the lie. There was nothing wrong with Meara; he was the wrong one for her. For all of them, in fact. He just couldn’t be with them like that.

‘I’m not biting it,’ Caiden said, repositioning his tac to hit another ball. ‘Want to talk about it?’

Aedan watched his back muscles flex as he pulled the tac back, then dove it forward, hitting the ball with enough force that it send at least three more in the holes. He wasn’t even paying attention to the game anymore.

What was there to talk about? Aedan didn’t like talking about himself with strangers. And they were strangers; the only people who were entitled to know anything about him was his family and close friends. Those girls, pretty and interesting as they were, didn’t need to know all about his emotional baggage. And as all pretty, interesting and _smart_ girls, they tried to find out.

Aedan never gave them the chance to learn anything worthwhile. Everyone that needed to know anything about him already knew. And Caiden knew more than the rest.

‘No,’ he said after a little while, leaning against the table. Caiden sensed that he was done playing, so he set his own tac aside, bracing his arms on the table. ‘I just don’t want all… _that_ ,’ he waved his hand, as if it could explain everything going on inside his head.

‘Are you referring to the relationship in itself, or in telling them about yourself?’

He met Caiden’s perceptive stare, which offered him the answer he was looking for. Back when they’d first met, Aedan was a boy of few words — still was, but he didn’t like to think of himself as a boy anymore — and Caiden seemed to be perfectly capable of reading between the lines. Over the years, he learned to read Aedan a little bit too well, maybe even better than his own family in some ways. Sometimes, he was able to give voice to feelings Aedan didn’t even know he had. It was like he was the other side of the same coin.

‘I don’t understand your reasoning. Do you think it would drive them away?’

Aedan shrugged. ‘One of them. Everyone here grew up in nearly perfect conditions. Spending their times with one who’d been a derelict and thief for years might not sound too appeasing. Especially one born in the Hewn city,’ he added with no amount of pleasure.

‘If they think that of you, then you are indeed wasting your time. The place you grew up in doesn’t reflect who you are. Mor grew up there, too, and everyone loves her. My mom was born in the Human Realms, yet the people of Velaris embraced her.’

‘That’s different,’ he sighed. ‘You know that’s different.’

‘How is that any different?’

He was aware of the Fae beginning to dance not too far from them, of Evie joining them shortly, laughing as she danced with a handsome male. The music picked up, barmaids mingling around, carrying trays of ale and platters of food. Rheya was still at the table, Vesper keeping her company.

‘Because of who they are. Mor is basically royalty to these Fae, and Feyre is the first High Lady in history. Of course everyone loves them.’

‘And what about your dad? What about uncle Az? They’re not from noble blood. Both of them were born in Illyrian war camps, raised as bastards. No one gave them a chance at life, less alone a title, and yet here they are,’ he countered, levelling him a hard stare.

_And yet here you are,_ he silently added.

‘They fought for everything they gave. I got lucky.’

‘Is that what you think?’ he laughed briskly. ‘Aedan, you’re my dearest friend, so I’ll speak plainly. You got lucky because you were smart. No one put you in that alley with Cassian, you got there yourself. He didn’t find you, you found him. You _made_ it happen.’

He stared at Caiden in silence, a maelstrom of emotions flooding his senses. It was rarely that he felt so strongly, so suddenly, about something, about someone. Words rarely impacted him like this.

‘And you think that the girls you fancy will turn their back on you once they find out everything there is to know about you? Then they’re fools. I don’t think your past is something you need to keep hidden away. If anything, I don’t think I would’ve liked you very much if I didn’t know all there is to know about you.’

Caiden always made up for his silence, for his stoic appearance. What he most appreciated and loved about him, though, was how he spoke his mind and bared his feelings without fearing anything. Aedan wondered if there would come a day when he’d be able to do the same, because he didn’t think there was anything that scared his friend. There couldn’t be.

Ignoring the unusual fast thumping of his heart, Aedan moved closer to him, gripping his shoulder.

‘Good thing you’re here to remind me of that. I’d be lost without you, you know?’

He kept his tone light, trying to keep his smile real, hiding his overwhelming emotions. He’d meant it; Aedan would be lost without Caiden. He didn’t like to think of his life without him in it.

Caiden clapped his shoulder, smirking in that annoying way of his, although there was a strange shift in the air; one his senses picked up immediately. It came from Caiden, though it was flimsy, barely a trace of something… Something sweet. It reminded him of pleasant summer nights by the river.

‘Everyone would be lost without me, friend. I’m a treasure.’


	35. Chapter 35

‘So, Rory, what do you want to do for your birthday this year?’

Rory shrugged, gripping her spoon with so much concentration while she scooped out every last bit of ice cream that it made Cassian smile. This girl loved sweets more than he thought it was possible.

‘I don’t know. A princess party would be nice.’

‘Didn’t you have that last year as well?’ Nesta asked.

‘I did.’

‘You don’t want to try a different theme this year?’

‘No. I still love princesses. I want to become one when I grow up.’

Cassian and Nesta exchanged a look, both attempting to subdue their amusement. Rory knew very well that there weren’t any princesses in Prythian, yet still seemed adamant that she’d grow up to become one.

‘That’s a lot of work, though. You might want to look into something different.’

Rory took a pause from eating — which almost never happened — and met his stare. The corners of her mouth were covered in chocolate.

‘You told me I could be anything I wanted when I grow up.’

‘Yes, well, I thought you’d pick something more realistic,’ he said, scratching the back of his head. ‘Not that princesses are unrealistic. We just don’t have them.’

Before an argument could ensue, one that Cassian would have to lose in order to prevent Rory from throwing a tantrum, Nesta stepped in.

‘A princess party sounds perfect,’ she said, pushing her clean napkin towards their daughter. ‘Your face is covered in chocolate, darling.’

Rory wiped the corners of her mouth with the back of her hand, then proceeded to lick it. Cassian burst into laughter while Nesta groaned.

‘Why am I being punished?’

‘What? It’s better than letting it go to waste!’ Rory protested. ‘Can I go play with Finn the day after tomorrow? We wanted to go to the park to see the new baby rabbits. Aunt Ros said they’re tiny and love being petted.’

‘I have to fly out that day,’ he said before Nesta had a chance to intervene. ‘But I’m sure your mother would love to take you!’

His mate gave her a look full of disbelief. ‘I have work that day, too!’

‘Skip it?’

‘You know very well I can’t skip it. I’m needed there.’

‘And Rory here needs to see the baby rabbits,’ he said, biting down on a breadstick. ‘Baby rabbits are truly adorable.’

‘You’re playing with me.’

‘I wouldn’t dare to. I value my life.’

Rory watched the whole exchange in silence, eating whatever else remained in her bowl of ice cream.

‘Why can’t you take her? I went with her to feed the ducks two days ago.’

‘Because they’re signing a deal for weapons and I need to be there. Wouldn’t want anything to go wrong, you know?’

‘Can’t the twins or Aedan take her?’

‘Rheya will take the day off after the trials, and Evie and Aedan have training. You know they won’t miss it.’

‘Or aunt Elain can take me,’ Rory suggested. ‘She said she wanted to go see them anyway.’

Cassian saw that Nesta tried hard not to look too relieved. She just wasn’t a fan of little animals — or animals in general.

‘You should’ve said that sooner. Would’ve made this conversation easier,’ she said with a pointed look to Cassian.

‘Can I have more ice cream?’

‘Sure!’

‘No way,’ they said at the same time, then both of them sighed.

Every damn time.

‘Rory, that’s your second bowl. How are you not full already?’ Nesta asked.

‘I’m a growing child, I need food,’ she explained, flashing them a toothy, adorable grin; one that she knew Cassian wouldn’t resist.

‘I’m sure one wouldn’t hurt…’ he said, then faltered when Nesta hit him under the table. ‘Or… not?’

Rory was on the verge of complaining, but the doors of the restaurant burst open, a familiar looking Fae running towards them. It was Neva, a barmaid he knew all too well.

Cassian sensed that something was wrong before she could even reach their table.

‘What happened?’ He demanded, standing up.

Neva placed a hand on her heart, breathing heavily. ‘It’s Rheya, she’s not feeling well. She’s at the tavern. I-I think someone slipped something into her drink, she’s dizzy and feels sick.’

Nesta swore, standing up and making to leave, but then realised that one of them needed to take Rory somewhere first. She gave him a determined look, although he could see how terrified she was.

‘I’ll take her to Feyre, she’s the closest,’ she said, already picking up Rory’s coat. ‘You’re faster. Go there. Make sure she’s fine. I’ll be there as soon as I can.’

He nodded, then left the restaurant, his heart dropping in his stomach.

He took to the skies, already seeing the tavern. He’d get there in less than a minute. No one would dare to poison them; that would result in their heads severed. But he knew, he knew it in his gut that it had something to do with the trials tomorrow.

This gave him the perfect opportunity to weed out the competition for his daughter, because someone was certainly going to pay for what happened.

And he’d show them no mercy.

* * *

Everything was fine.

Everything was perfectly fine, albeit a bit out of the ordinary for her. Rheya was, for the first time in history, willingly talking to Vesper, whose behaviour was so unlike him that for the most part, she thought this whole thing was a prank. But there was no way his nervousness could be fake; and she’d never seen Vesper nervous about anything, even if they were just talking. The change had been so sudden that she felt like she was seeing him through different eyes.

They didn’t talk about anything in particular; he asked her about tomorrow, who she was on the lookout for, which parts of the trial made her nervous. They changed every other year, to keep the competitors on their toes. Then he asked her more about herself; surface things, mostly. Why she hated their Arts teacher, why she kept to herself so much in public, if Amren was truly that scary. Then he asked her if she ever liked anyone from their school, and when he noticed her sudden lack of words, he opted for a safe topic, one she could talk about for hours: her love for magic.

The barmaid, a Fae named Tyria, kept their ginger ales coming. After her third or fourth one, she began feeling drowsy. She shook the feeling away, thinking it was just weariness after her long day, but it kept getting worse. The back for her blouse was stuck to her skin and she could feel beads of sweat forming on her forehead.

Vesper noticed that, too, because he stopped talking, casting her a worried look. She’d never seen him worried about anything, either.

‘Rheya, are you feeling alright? You’re all red.’

She blinked, the edges of her vision blurring. ‘I’m fine, I think I’m just a little bit hot.’

‘You don’t look fine to me,’ he said, leaning across the table to press a hand to her forehead, apparently not caring that she was profusely sweating. ‘You’re all burning up. Are you—‘

_‘I’m fine,’_ she insisted, meeting his gaze. His face became even blurrier, and she couldn’t focus on his features, couldn’t focus on anything. A wave of nausea hit her in full force, but she restrained herself from making a scene.

_I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine,_ she kept repeating to herself.

‘Rheya, you’re pupils are dilated, you’re not— Mother’s tits,’ he swore, and she felt him clasp her by the arms.

She didn’t even realise she almost fell on her back. Vesper kept her upright, muttering something she could hardly hear, as everything around her went very still. Her bones were jelly and her throat felt like it was closing up on its own. Goosebumps broke across her skin as she tried to focus on her drink, realising all too late what was happening.

With an arm that was no longer her own, Rheya willed herself to knock it over, hoping it would make Vesper understand what was going on. He said something, or rather yelled as he tried to balance her against himself, her wings falling helplessly to the ground, because she no longer had the strength to keep them upright. Vesper avoided touching them, as any other Illyrian would, but didn’t let go of her.

_‘Don’t get close,’_ she distinctly heard him sneer, then louder: ‘Where the hell are they?!’

Fingers gingerly touched her face, fingers so cold that they made her shudder. Or maybe she was burning too much; what poison did they lace her drink with? It was hard to scramble through her muddy thoughts like this, when it was a feat it itself to focus on her breathing.

He murmured something to her, or maybe shouted them, which was all the same. She could no longer see anything except patches of colour and a fuzzy face right up her face. When she tried to say something, her tongue felt like it had turned to ash in her mouth.

Then — then other hands were on her, smaller hands on both her cheeks, two others propelling her upright. Someone yelled her name; she recognised that voice, she’d recognise it anywhere. It was her sister, trying to catch her attention, to open her eyes and look at her.

She didn’t — she couldn’t.

It wasn’t a killing poison, she realised moments before her unconsciousness threatened to claim her. She wouldn’t die, but there was no way to tell them, no way as she drifted off into the unknown.

* * *

Aedan rarely felt panic like that in his life.

The last time had been years ago, when he was certain his sister would be claimed by Death sooner than it would’ve been fair.

Now, as he pushed Fae to the side to get to his other sister, the same horrible, heart-wrenching panic settled over him like a dark, suffocating blanket. He balked when he saw Vesper attempting to hold Rheya on her seat, shouting at him to come help him, desperation written all over his face.

Evie got there faster than him. She placed her hands on her face, calling out her name, yelling at Vesper to tell her what the hell was going on, why wasn’t she talking, why was she all hot and sweating—

Aedan forced the panic away and helped Vesper hoist her up, Rheya a dead weight between them. Her brow was covered in a film of sweat as her lips moved, but she wasn’t saying anything. He was careful of her wings, which hung back helplessly, as he took a careful look around the room.

Everyone was staring at them in sheer horror. No one was moving or saying anything; they didn’t know what to do. There were too many people standing in their way through the door, and they needed to get her out fast and take her to see a healer, they needed more air for her.

Caiden seemed to have realised that, too, because in a voice that was not his own, he shouted at all the Fae to get the hell out, to make room for them. Because he was who he was, everyone obeyed him. They scrambled towards the door as Aedan placed a hand on Rheya’s hot, wet cheek.

‘What the hell happened?’

He’d addressed the question to Vesper, who looked almost as bad as Rheya. He shook his head, then pointed towards the knocked over mug.

‘I think someone slipped something into her drink,’ he said, voice trembling.

‘What?! Who the hell brought that drink to the table? Rheya, Rheya, please open your eyes, please look at me,’ Evie shouted over and over again, agony clear in her voice. Aedan had never seen her look like this.

‘Eve, we need to get her out of here,’ he said, ducking so he could put Rheya’s pliant arm over his shoulder. Vesper did the same.

‘She’s not— she’s not opening her eyes, why is she not opening them?! Oh my gods, I can’t— what was inside that fucking mug?!’

Aedan tried to block Evie’s desperate words out his mind as they hauled Rheya out of the tavern and into the chilly night, Caiden right behind them, holding up her wings up so they wouldn’t drag across the floor. They were far, too far from the healers, and they needed to get her there; he’d almost turned to Caiden to tell them to get one of his parents here before a familiar shape landed a few feet away from them, looking just as horrified as Aedan felt.

His dad took one look at Rheya and swore.

‘What is it?’

‘Poison,’ he found himself replying in a voice that was not his own. ‘Someone must’ve slipped something into her drink when we were—‘

As he picked her from their arms as if she weighted nothing, careful of her wings, their dad took one look at all of them, his jaw set in a tight lock. ‘Where the hell were you three when this happened?’

He’d addressed the question to Evie, Caiden and him, but before any of them could have a chance to respond, he took off towards the healers. Aedan didn’t even have time to let the guilt set in as Evie gripped his shoulder, tugging him along.

‘We need to get there, come on!’

* * *

‘What is it?’

Madja wiped her hands on her clothes, breathing heavily. ‘It looks like henbane to me,’ she said, searching her cabinets for what Cassian hoped was an antidote. ‘It won’t kill her, but she needs to eliminate the substance from her system.’

‘How?’ Nesta asked, the fear so pure in her eyes that it tore his soul apart. She was holding Rheya’s hand tightly, a hand pressed to her sweaty forehead, trying and failing to help wake her up. She was stirring and muttering, as if delirious, but she wasn’t responding to any of them.

‘Open her mouth for me,’ Madja ordered Nesta, and she did without thinking twice.

Cassian watched as she poured the contents of the little tube inside his daughter’s gaping mouth, then held it close in order for her to swallow it.

‘She’s going to vomit it out. Daena, bring that bucket over, please.’

It astounded Cassian how calm she could be when they’d been yelling at her for the past ten minutes, demanding to know what the hell was wrong with their daughter and why she wasn’t awake. For Nesta’s sake, who was seconds away from levelling this whole damn building because Rheya wouldn’t open her eyes, he tried to steady his heart, push away that horrible, helpless feeling of not being able to do one damn thing.

He hadn’t felt this powerless in decades.

He held Rheya’s hair back as she surged upwards and vomited right into the bucket the other healer, Daena, was holding for her. Nesta ran her hand up and down her back, telling her over and over again that she was going to be just fine, that she and Cassian were right there, that she just needed to breathe and take it all out. It astounded him how calmly she could talk; even he found comfort in her words. Holding her hair in one hair and her hand in the other, Cassian squeezed it tightly when his daughter let out a strangled cry.

All of them sighed in relief. All except Madja, who told them numerous time that she was going to be fine.

‘You’re alright darling, we’ve got you,’ he told Rheya, who continued to hurl her guts up. ‘You’re going to be fine, I swear.’

When she was finally done, her chest rising and falling rapidly, Rheya finally opened her eyes, zoning in on Nesta, who was wiping her mouth with a wet cloth that she threw in the bucket afterwards.

‘Rheya, how are you feeling? Can you talk to me, honey?’

Cassian’s knees almost betrayed him when Rheya took him in, too, then closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them again, she seemed to become more aware of her surroundings.

‘Mom, I… I think I was poisoned,’ she said, voice raspy.

Despite the situation, Cassian nearly laughed. Nesta gave him a pointed look.

‘Of course you figured that out already.’

Then he kissed her forehead, thanking all the gods out there that she was fine and whole. Nesta was half-listening to whatever Madja was saying, but his whole focus was on Rheya. She smacked her lips a couple of times, brows furrowing in confusion. Her face was no longer burning, and she stopped sweating. Still, he wasn’t going to let her out of his sight anytime soon.

‘Where are…’

‘They’re right outside,’ he answered, knowing she was asking about Evie, Aedan and Caiden. ‘They’re worried sick. I may have snapped a little bit at them, though.’

‘Good,’ she said with a weak smile. ‘It wasn’t… their fault, dad.’

He knew that damn well, but the second he saw Aedan and that boy carrying an unconscious Rheya between them, he felt fear like never before. In a moment of pure recklessness, he unwisely blamed them for not keeping an eye on each other, as if they could’ve prevented something like this.

‘I know. I’ll apologise once I make sure you’re fine, alright?’

‘I am fine,’ she said, blinking slowly.

‘That is debatable at this moment,’ Nesta intervened, placing a hand on Rheya’s cheek, relief showing on her face once she realised her fever broke. ‘Do you need anything? How is your head? Madja said you’ll have one hell of a headache.’

‘Already do,’ Rheya winced. ‘Water?’

Cassian already made for the empty cups and jug of water placed on a cabined next to the window. He filled it while Nesta asked Rheya how this happened, if she had any idea who served her the drinks or if she noticed something unusual.

‘Nothing was wrong,’ she said after she finished drinking. ‘There were too many Fae there. The Peregryns and Seraphims, too. Everyone was celebrating.’

Cassian stared at Nesta at the exact moment that she did. His worry was swiftly replaced by anger, so cold and unrelenting that he felt his Siphons thrum with power aching to be let loose. Judging by the look in his mate’s eye, Nesta had also come to the same conclusion as he did.

He needed to take care of it. Now.

Cassian allowed himself to linger for another minute, just to make sure that Rheya wasn’t going to pass out again, then Nesta subtly nodded her head, indicating that he could go. He wasted no time.

Outside the room, numerous worried faces greeted him.

‘How is she? Can I go in?’

Evie gripped his arm, fear shining in her big, blue eyes. Remorse overwhelmed him at once.

‘She’s awake and fine,’ he said, placing a gentle arm on her shoulder. ‘I’m sorry for snapping at you. And you two,’ he said to Aedan and Caiden, who were right behind Evie. ‘I was scared. I know it wasn’t your fault. I’m really sorry.’

‘It’s alright, dad,’ Evie said, then turned her attention towards the door. ‘I’m going in.’

Caiden followed her, and so did Aedan, but Cassian stopped him.

‘Aedan, I’m really sorry,’ he repeated, knowing just by looking at his face that he was blaming himself for what happened. ‘You are in no way to blame for this. You hear me? Henbane can’t be traced that easily. Not even Rheya sensed it. You couldn’t have prevented it.’

Aedan nodded, his eyes bloodshot. ‘I know, dad. It’s fine, I promise. You don’t have to apologise, I would’ve done the same thing.’ Then, a pause. ‘It was probably one of those Seraphims or Peregryns. Some of them had been glaring at her, but I didn’t think anything of it. I thought they were just intimidated of her. I never thought they would…’

Cassian sighed, rubbing his forehead. ‘They wanted her out of the trials tomorrow. It wasn’t their intention to kill her, just take her out of the game.’

‘Are you going after them?’

There was no judgement or concern in his eyes. Just pure curiosity.

‘Yes.’

‘Good,’ he said. ‘I can’t convince you to take me with you, can I?’

Cassian clapped his back, giving him a strained smile. ‘Not a chance. Go inside and stay with your sister. She needs the company.’

‘Be careful,’ he said, then went inside the room.

Then came the second wave of worried faces, although they didn’t linger. Mor, Ros and Elain rushed into the room, only Rhys and Az remaining behind. Az seemed just as calm and poised as well, but his blue siphons were casting a glow around the hall. Rhys simply shook his head, disbelief etched across his face.

‘What they did,’ he said in a low voice, ‘is unthinkable. For a damn contest? I’ll rip their feathers out myself.’

Cassian was glad to hear they were all on the same page. He regarded his brothers, his own Siphons thrumming in anticipation. ‘I’m going to find whoever did this, and I will kill them. Are you two coming? I can take care of it, if you don’t want the blood on your hands,’ he addressed the last part to Rhys, knowing that it could cause a political conflict.

‘They harmed my niece after I opened my city up to them. I’ll gladly have their blood on my hands.’

‘I’d also prefer not to miss out on it,’ added Azriel. ‘She worked for months to perfect her flying manoeuvres. They’re going to regret this.’

Relieved to hear that they were joining him, the three of them began their hunt.


	36. Chapter 36

‘So, Vesper said that he likes you.’

‘Yes.’

‘And he asked you out on a date.’

‘Don’t sound so surprised,’ Rheya rolled her eyes at Evie’s lack of reaction.

‘I’m not surprised because I assumed he would, at some point. Did you say yes?’

‘I said I’ll think about it.’

Evie looked at her expectantly.

‘I haven’t thought about it yet.’

‘Why not? It’s not a very hard decision to make. Also, it’s not like you have to go a second time if you don’t like how the date goes.’

‘I can’t think about that right now, I have other things on my mind.’

Evie raised her brows. ‘Like what?’

‘The trials,’ she sighed. ‘The trials are today. I’m missing those damn trials because _they_ ,’ she jutted her chin towards the closed door of their bedroom, ‘won’t let me go, even though I feel just fine.’

Evie rolled on her stomach, casting her a wary look. ‘I can’t blame them either for wanting to keep you here. You were poisoned, Rheya. It’s a pretty big deal.’

Rheya didn’t bother hiding her shock. ‘You would’ve sneaked out the window and gone to those trials regardless of what they’d say!’

‘Probably true, but you’re not me,’ she shrugged. ‘There’s always next year.’

She abstained from saying anything else, even though she knew Evie was right.

It was still early in the morning, and both of them were still in bed. The maid brought them breakfast an hour ago, fussing over Rheya and asking if she was sure she didn’t need anything else. She loved Quynn, but she was tired of everyone making such a big deal out of this situation. Honestly, she wasn’t even surprised; more like flattered. It meant others saw her as serious competition and tried taking her out of the game.

Evie, on her part, tried her best not to be overbearing, even though last night she’d been nothing but a mess at her side. She distinctly remembered her puffed face and red eyes, how she nearly lost it when she saw that Rheya had awakened and didn’t leave her side for one minute. Well, no one did; all of her aunts were there, too. She wisely didn’t inquire as to where her dad and uncles were.

Once they got her home, Evie sneaked into her bed when she thought she’d fallen asleep, and her mom spent an awful lot of time in their bedroom, too. She had her stacks of papers here, which meant that she’d worked long into the night, but wanted to keep an eye on her as well. A little before dawn, she heard the door creak open, and heard her dad’s voice whisper something to her mom, and then felt a calloused hand on her forehead. They let them sleep after that.

Evie was in the middle of rambling about how first dates were always awkward, but she couldn’t focus on that. She ached to get out of the bed and out, to do something, train or go to her aunt Amren’s place and beg her to teach her something new. But they were all so very persistent about her taking the day off, and Rheya had no other choice but to comply.

Their bedroom never felt so small. Rheya liked sharing a room with Evie; they usually fought about space and how dirty the bedroom could get (not thanks to her), but it was nice to have someone to talk to when one of them couldn’t sleep. Sometimes, even Rory would come sleep with them, when she wasn’t sneaking inside their parents’ room. Almost ten years old and she still did that. But now, now that she couldn’t do anything but stare at the painted walls and listen to Evie, she felt suffocated.

When the door of their bedroom opened, she almost sighed in relief.

‘Can I go to aunt Amren’s place for a few hours?’ She asked her mom before she could even utter a word. ‘I can’t stay here all day long. I’m already missing the trials, which is bad enough, but I don’t want to sit around and mope for the rest of the day.’

‘Glad to see you’re feeling better,’ her mom grinned. ‘Does that mean I don’t need to bring Madja here to check up on you?’

‘No. I’m perfectly fine, I don’t even feel sick. It’s out of my system.’

Her mom nodded, although she still looked worried. She leaned on the threshold, eyes crossed over her chest, tapping her foot against the floor.

‘I actually came to tell you three things,’ she said. ‘They found the one who laced your drink with poison. It was a Peregryn.’

‘Did they…’ Evie began, sitting upright.

‘They did. Just the one that poisoned you. Apparently, more than one was involved, so they sent the rest to the Prison for a little while.’

‘What about Thesan? Won’t he be angry about it?’

‘Rhys has already gotten in touch with him to let him know. He’ll probably have to send them back at some point, but he understood the situation. We were entitled to punishing that male for what he did, according to the laws.’

Because they had been allowed into their territory and hurt one member of the High Lord and Lady’s family. By law, that was punishable by death.

Still, Rheya couldn’t help but feel a little bit bad.

‘They could’ve just thrown him into the Prison,’ she said quietly. ‘He didn’t need to die for it.’

‘He did. He knew the consequences. It was his fault for thinking that he’d get away with it.’

It was Evie who said those words, and to her surprise, her mom nodded in approval. It was rare that she agreed with Evie when it came to violence.

‘Don’t feel bad about it, Rheya,’ her mom said. ‘He hurt you. That wasn’t a mistake.’

‘How did they kill him?’ Evie cut in. ‘Any gory details?’

Her mom closed her eyes, making an exasperated sound. Rheya’s mouth curved upwards.

‘None for you. And why do you talk about killings like it’s gossip?’

‘It’s not gossip,’ Evie gasped. ‘It’s better than gossip!’

‘We’ll talk about that later. The second thing I wanted to tell you is that Rhys postponed the trials.’

That got her attention.

‘What? When? How?’

‘An hour ago,’ she explained, smirking. ‘It was quite funny. Everyone assembled and were ready to begin, but then he just showed up like he was out for a stroll, and told everyone to go back home. He said that someone will eventually let them know when the trials will take place, but he was extremely vague about it. The crowds went mad.’

Evie gasped while Rheya had to shake her head to make sure that she heard right.

‘So… I can participate?’

‘Once you feel better,’ her mother said. ‘And not a day before. Rhys said that once you feel up to it, he’ll reschedule the trials.’

‘Tomorrow?’

‘I was thinking two weeks would be fine.’

‘Two weeks is too much!’

‘An argument can be made for one week and a half, but that’s it. Not a day early.’

Rheya’s tongue itched to argue more, but she didn’t bother. This was already good enough. She could still participate and snatch that damned trophy out of their hands for the second year in a row. Oh, she’d make them pay for what they did.

‘And the third thing?’ Evie asked.

Nesta frowned, but then perked up. ‘I almost forgot about that. You have a visitor downstairs.’

‘A visitor? What visitor?’

‘That boy from your school, Vesper? Yes, I think that’s his name. I left him in the hands of your father.’

Rheya threw the covers off at once, feet slipping into her furred slippers. ‘Mom!’

She didn’t even bother to hide her amusement. Evie was clapping her hands in excitement while Rheya threw on her robe.

‘Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!’

‘Did dad kill him yet?’ Evie asked, smirking like a damn hyena. ‘Mom, you’re evil.’

‘I know,’ she said, her voice catching a dreamy note. When Rheya glowered at her, she had the audacity to look stupefied. ‘What? How else am I supposed to see if he has guts? A ten minutes conversation with your dad should suffice.’

‘You’re all crazy!’ She said while she dashed for the door, nearly running down the stairs.

Obviously, she didn’t get there in time. Her father was positively glaring at an ashen-faced Vesper, who looked so out of his element, Rheya thought he’d faint.

‘You really have no weapons on you?’

‘No, Commander.’

‘And why is that?’ Her dad crossed his arms over his chest, looking as if he was facing an army, not a seventeen year old boy. ‘You’re an Illyrian. You should always be armed.’

‘Can you count these as weapons?’ Vesper wiggled his hands in the air.

Knowing that answer would just warrant a very unpleasant conversation, Rheya tapped her dad on his shoulder. He turned around, a smile breaking on his serious face.

‘Hello, darling. How are you feeling?’

‘I’m fine,’ she said, trying hard not to let her annoyance show. ‘What are _you_ doing?’

‘Just having a talk with young Vinson here,’ he said with false enthusiasm.

‘My name is Vesper,’ Vesper said.

‘Unimportant. He claims he came here to see how you are.’

‘I _am_ here to see how she is.’

‘How do you know my daughter again?’

Rheya closed her eyes, knowing this wasn’t going to end well.

‘We go to school together. And we train together,’ Vesper tried to explain. ‘You’ve met me before!’

‘Did I? I can’t recall that ever happening.’

‘You know my parents. You and Azriel brought us here when we were children!’

Her dad raised a brow as he sat down on the couch, looking at complete ease. ‘Are you trying to appeal at my humanity? Because it won’t work, since I don’t have such a thing. Making me feel bad about your past won’t convince me to let you alone with my daughter.’ Then, as if he’d just remembered, he sulked. ‘I even placed you with one of the best families in this town, why should I even feel bad about you?! You were a hellion of a kid, I’m surprised they never complained about that.’

Vesper had the audacity to grin. ‘So you do remember me, after all.’

Before her dad could have a chance to say something or worse, decapitate Vesper, Rheya stepped between them. ‘Dad, I think I can talk to him alone for a few minutes.’

‘Talk about what?’

Rheya tried her hardest not to yell. She was acutely aware that her mom and sister were watching this unfold from upstairs, laughing quietly.

‘I don’t know, the weather! We’re going to talk upstairs.’

Shocking even herself, Rheya grabbed Vesper by the wrist, tugging him along.

‘Not in the—‘

‘Not in the bedroom, dad,’ she rolled her eyes. ‘Training room!’

‘That’s better. Maybe teach him a thing or two about the importance of carrying weapons.’

‘I will,’ she said, going up the stairs.

‘If I come up there and see your hands where they shouldn’t belong, Veril, you’ll find them at the other end of the room!’

‘Dad, stop embarrassing me!’ She yelled.

Thankfully, Vesper didn’t add anything else. The halls were clear, which meant that her mom and Evie ran back to her bedroom, so she went straight for the training room. Once they were inside and the door was closed, she faced Vesper.

‘Do you have a death wish?’

‘I… No, why would you think that?’

‘You came to my house! Where my parents live!’

‘I was aware that you live with your parents, Rheya,’ Vesper grinned, taking a look around the room. ‘This is pretty impressive. Are those weapons from the War?’

‘You knew my dad wouldn’t be happy to see a boy show up at my door,’ she said, following him around.

‘I figured, but I wanted to see how you were. Caiden told me you were fine last night, but I knew I couldn’t come see you.’

Then he turned around, the grin fading, concern taking its place.

‘I won’t ask you if you’re fine, since I assume you’re tired of everyone asking you that question. I can see that you’re in one piece.’

Rheya nodded, glad that someone finally understood that. She sat on one of the training mats, hugging her knees to her chest.

‘I’m also sorry for what happened last night.’

‘It wasn’t your fault, Vesper. It wasn’t anyone’s fault. How could you have known?’

He crouched in front of her, his blue hair falling over his eyes. He looked weary, and there were dark circles under his eyes. Did he even sleep last night?

‘I know I couldn’t have, but…’ he shook his head, as if trying to banish some unwelcome thoughts. ‘It was bad, Rheya. _You_ were bad. I thought you were going to die.’

‘It’s going to take a little more than henbane to kill me,’ she smiled. ‘I know it was bad. I remember Evie screaming and how sick Aedan looked. I’d never seen him like that. Rory thought I had the flu and went to get some herbs, but when I came back, she nearly burst into tears. She’s a little sensitive.’

That, she was. Rheya hoped she’d never change.

‘Can you blame her? Everyone was worried sick last night. The whole town found out.’

Rheya pressed her forehead to her knees, groaning. ‘Perfect. Just perfect.’

‘Then I found out that your uncle postponed the trials, which caused havoc.’

She quickly looked up. ‘What do you mean, ‘found out’? Weren’t you there, too?’

‘No. I was home.’

‘Why were you home?’

‘Because I wasn’t going to participate after what happened,’ he explained, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

‘Why not?’

‘Because it wouldn’t have been fair towards you. Caiden didn’t go, either. And Zandro.’

She blinked, not believing her own ears. Evie had already told her that Caiden wasn’t going to participate, but she had no idea that Vesper would do such a thing, too. It enraged her.

‘Are you an idiot? Why would you skip on that?! Those trials are important!’

‘How does that make me an idiot? I wasn’t going to show up and pretend that the competition didn’t just try to kill you!’

‘You could’ve won!’

‘Probably,’ he said, considering the idea. ‘But it wouldn’t have been the same. If I’m going to win, I’d rather beat you to it. Plus, the trials were postponed anyway, so why does it matter?’

Rheya shook her head, disbelief quickly replaced by annoyance. ‘You’re unbelievable.’

‘I’ve been called worse.’

‘No doubt about it.’

‘So… you’re feeling better, right?’

‘I thought you weren’t going to ask me that.’

‘I couldn’t help it. It just slipped.’

Rheya laughed. ‘I’m perfectly alright.’

‘Good. Because I’d hate to beat you at those trials if you weren’t in full form.’

‘I could beat you any time, any place.’

‘I know you can,’ he said softly, then reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. His hand lingered a little bit too much, thumbing her cheek, and her stomach sunk. Gods, she couldn’t even think about how she must’ve looked — straight out of bed, her hair not even combed, in a dumb robe…

‘I forgot to tell you something last night.’

‘What?’ She asked, her voice a little too strained.

‘That you’re beautiful. Easily the most exquisite girl I’ve ever laid eyes on.’

Her eyes went a little wide at that, and she stammered over a response, not knowing how to react to that. A part of her thought that he was going to kiss her, but he didn’t; he just stroked her cheek, looking at her with tender eyes, as if he couldn’t believe this was actually happening. She certainly couldn’t, and the erratic beating of her heart was surely giving her away.

Before her slow mind could come up with an answer, the door to the training room was thrown open, the knob hitting the wall. They both pulled apart and turned to find her worried sister.

‘There you are! Dad said that you were being held hostage in the training room.’

‘Of course he did,’ she said dryly, earning a laugh from Vesper.

‘I saved you your favourite muffins downstairs,’ Rory said, approaching them. ‘Aedan almost ate the last ones.’

She circled her arms around Rheya’s neck, making to sit on her lap. She couldn’t deny her; no one ever could. Rory hugged her, smelling of sugar and vanilla, and there were spots of chocolate on her dress. When she looked up at her, those cat-like eyes analysing her face closely, Rheya felt her heart lurch. Even though she was big now, she still saw her as a toddler.

‘What were you two doing?’

Rory turned towards Vesper, who was now sitting on the floor.

‘Are you her boyfriend?’

‘Aurora! He’s not my boyfriend!’

‘Why not?’

‘Yes, Rheya, why not?’ Vesper asked, looking way too pleased for her liking.

She wanted the roof to drop on her head.

‘Evie sees boys all the time. So does Aedan. You should really find a boyfriend, too, Rheya. You’re getting old.’

Vesper laughed. Rheya wondered if her parents would get mad if she turned Rory into a lizard for an hour.

‘Plus, he’s not bad looking at all,’ she continued, focusing on Vesper. ‘Is your hair always blue?’

‘Well, yes,’ Vesper said, glancing at a strand of his own hair. ‘I don’t suppose yours is always pink.’

‘No, but I might go for blue next time. If I can convince mom to let me try it.’

‘I’m sure it would look gorgeous on you,’ Vesper said.

‘And a boyfriend would look good on her,’ Rory said, elbowing Rheya.

‘Alright, that’s it, I’m going to—‘

‘Rory! I’ve been looking all over for you.’

All eyes turned towards the open door, where her dad was standing.

Rory made a face. ‘You knew I was here. Why would you be looking for me?’

‘Dad, _really?_ ’

‘What? You’ve been in here longer than five minutes!’

‘And what did you think was going to happen, kill each other?’

‘I would’ve actually been fine with that.’

‘Do you need something?’

‘Yes. We’re going to Rhys and Feyre for lunch, so you’d better go get dressed if you don’t want to spend the rest of your day inside. That’s what your mom wanted, anyway.’

She sighed, standing up. Of course he’d find any excuse to get Vesper out of the house. Judging by the way he glared at him, his dad would’ve thrown a party just so he’d leave.

‘Rory, honey, what were they doing when you walked inside?’

_‘Dad!’_

‘Talking,’ Rory shrugged, although she gave Rheya a secretive smile. ‘No touching.’

‘Good. It better be like that at all times. _You_ ,’ he pointed a finger at Vesper, ‘are on my to-watch list, along with the rest of the criminals of the court. One wrong move and you’ll be at the top of that list. Got it?’

‘Yes, sir,’ Vesper nodded, standing up.

He made to leave, then stopped abruptly, glaring at Vesper once more. ‘If you plan on asking her out, you’d better come up with a plan for me to review.’

‘Alright, dad, that’s enough!’ She moved towards the door, ready to push him down the stairs if needed.

‘And bring her flowers or a book for gods’ sake, has no one taught you manners?!’

‘Are you planning on ruining my life?!’ She yelled, pushing him out of the room.

‘I was going to bring her a book anyway!’ Vesper shouted from behind.

Cheeks burning from embarrassment, Rheya swore she’d take Evie’s advice and keep everything under wraps. She didn’t need to go through this sort of altercation ever again.

* * *

Lunch at his aunt and uncle’s house was always chaotic. Even if it was just their parents, Rhys, Feyre and Mor along with the little ones, it was a bit overwhelming at times. Someone was always shouting, not breaking anything wasn’t an option, and there wasn’t a place where you could be alone. The only thing that Aedan truly enjoyed about these lunches was the delicious food and how the entire townhouse smelled of cooked meat.

He managed to get away from the dining room while everyone was fussing over Rheya. He almost pitied his poor sister, because she looked aggravated after their dad made a fool of herself in front of Vesper and had been poisoned the night before, but he wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity of some silence.

Still, he was relieved that she was alright. He never wanted to experience that sort of fear ever again. It damn nearly crushed him.

Aedan passed through the cosy living room, where Finn was attempting to teach Rory chess. Seeing him, he gave him a curious glance, those icy eyes almost unnerving him.

‘Aedan, can you play chess?’

‘Yes, why? I’m not going to play with you right now, if that’s what you want.’

‘Grumpy,’ Rory muttered.

‘If you can play then why didn’t you teach her? She’s hopeless.’

Finn grinned when Rory knocked over his pawns.

‘It’s a boring game!’

‘It’s a game of strategy, it requires patience,’ Finn explained, calmly arranging his pawns back on the table. ‘You’ll get the hang of it.’

His sister gave him a helpless look, earning a grin from him. Everyone knew that Rory wasn’t into anything that required strategy and would rather play with dolls and have tea parties, but Finn was slowly trying to broaden her horizons. In a way, Finn reminded Aedan of himself, with that stoic expression and moods you couldn’t quite read. The stark white hair made him look almost eerie, as if he came from a fairytale. Him and Rory couldn’t be more different, even fought a lot, yet they loved each other’s company.

‘Sorry, Rory, I can’t help you out right now. Plus, playing chess can be fun!’ He said before heading for the stairs.

‘Traitor!’ His sister yelled from behind.

Aedan knew the way to Caiden’s room by heart, and he didn’t even bother with the knocking. Partially because he was there a lot, partially because he always hoped he’d catch him doing something inappropriate. So far, he never had any luck with that.

Today he wasn’t lucky either. Caiden was at his desk, seeming to be in the middle of writing something. There were specks of colour on his pants, and then he noticed the canvas; he was in the middle of creating something new. It was little more than a sketch with a few attempted strokes of a brush, but he was a long way from finishing it. Aedan cocked his head, analysing the realistic design of what seemed to be a fortress.

‘Don’t tell me you plan on building that one day.’

‘You never know,’ Caiden replied, continuing to write. ‘We may be under siege one day. A fortress like that could withstand it.’

‘And where would the people inside get their provisions for? Blockades can last for months.’

Without taking his eyes off the paper, Caiden pointed towards his work table, where he kept his dozens of brushes, tubes of paint and stacks of sketches. On top of it, arranged in no particular order, were numerous other sketches, these one in pencil. They weren’t made to look pretty, but practical. All of them were devoid of Caiden’s artistic side, but were proof of his analytical mind. Blueprints of the said fortress from various points of view, the main parts of it, location of the rooms, where the armament would be placed, and most importantly, the underground chambers. Aedan shuffled through the pages, noticing that the underground was connected to a series of tunnels that led into the city, stretching for miles, going right under the Sidra. It seemed extreme to make something like this, but he had to admit, it was impressive. A place like this would be ideal for a siege; it offered a way in and a way out for those who knew where to find it. They wouldn’t be forced to starve inside.

‘So you _do_ want to build it,’ he said, stepping back to look at the canvas again.

‘It’s just a little project, nothing serious,’ Caiden replied as he finally set his pen down and turned in his chair. ‘It could come in handy if we’re ever attacked. It would be impregnable.’

It would, and it would also save lots of lives. Velaris didn’t have a place for the Fae to hide in case they were attacked; transporting them to the House of Wind wasn’t really an option, and there was no underground tunnels. Caiden had come up with a solution.

‘I think you’d be a fool not to build it,’ Aedan admitted. ‘It’s a brilliant idea.’

He sat on the edge of Caiden’s neat bed, taking in his colourful room. He kept his best works in here; paintings and canvases hung from the walls, some more obscure than others, and there wasn’t much space that hadn’t been painted. Just like his mother, Caiden had a nick for this art, and he was brilliant at it. Whatever he didn’t like, she kept it deposited somewhere, refusing to throw away something her son had made. Even Rhys kept numerous of his paintings in his court.

‘Now you’re just sucking up to me. Got bored downstairs?’

‘Too much commotion. Thought I’d come by and see what you were up to. Are you writing a love letter?’

Caiden appeared to be scandalised by that idea. ‘Of course not. It’s a letter for some dignitaries. Dad said I should build my relationship with them early.’

‘That sounds positively dreadful.’

‘Wait until I start exchanging love letter with Beron,’ he rolled his eyes, making Aedan laugh. ‘I don’t think I’m his type, though. I heard he likes them demure and quiet.’

‘Explains why his wife left him. Good thing they weren’t mates, because that would’ve been inconvenient for both of them.’

‘I don’t think the Fates are so cruel that they’d pair together two people who are wrong for each other in all manners,’ Caiden said, sitting down next to him, his back hitting the mattress.

‘Aunt Elain and Lucien?’ He proposed, also leaning on his back.

Caiden turned his head to the side so he could see him better. His dark hair fell into his eyes as the smooth lines of his face wrinkled in confusion.

‘They weren’t the same as those two, you know it. Lucien wouldn’t have hurt her, but I’m not sure they would’ve loved each other either. At least not in the way she and Azriel love each other.’

Aedan thought about that; about mates and how ludicrous it all seemed to him.

‘I think it’s weird,’ he finally said. ‘It’s like you don’t have a choice.’

‘Most of them work out for the best, though. My parents, your parents. They would do anything for each other.’

‘Would you want a mate?’ He found himself asking, and didn’t miss the way Caiden’s eyes widened just a tiny bit, his brows raising in surprise. He quickly moved his gaze to the painted ceiling, colour spreading over his cheeks.

‘I never thought about it. I’d like to make up my own mind about the person that I love, and not be told that I should love someone in particular, just because some greater forces than me decided that they’re the right person. But then I look at my parents and how much they love each other, and I wonder if that sort of love ever happens without something as strong as a mating bond.’

‘You think it intensifies it?’

Caiden shrugged, biting his lip. Aedan eye’s drifted, watching that movement.

‘In a way, yes. But I know they chose each other. Your parents chose each other, too.’

Aedan huffed in amusement. ‘I think that mating bond nearly tore them apart at first. Dad said that she pushed him away when she found out.’

‘But she had feeling for him before that, didn’t she?’ He inquired, switching his attention back to Aedan. ‘They certainly make an unlikely pair. Half the time I wonder if they’ll end up killing each other.’

‘That’s just their love language,’ Aedan said, suddenly all too aware by how close they were to each other, how intensely Caiden was looking at him. ‘Only they know how to speak it. They’re not really the sort to flaunt their devotion for each other in public, but it’s not hard to see it, if you know them. Even if it wasn’t for the mating bond, I think they would’ve still chosen each other.’

‘What about you? Would you want a mate?’

‘Gods, no. Too complicated.’

‘And if it still happens?’ He raised himself on his elbows, his arm muscles tensing as he leaned on the wall next to his bed.

‘Then I can only hope it will be with someone I already love,’ he said without thinking. ‘Not that I think too much about that, but I don’t see myself trusting someone just because I’m supposed to.’

Caiden laughed at that, and Aedan found himself watching him again, this time with renewed interest. Just as the night before, he sensed that sweet scent, just as intangible and discreet; given that Aedan could, on a certain level, control the air surrounding him and influence it, it was easier for him to pick up on scents not even older Fae could. It was puzzling and intriguing at the same time; he was always good at putting names on scents, but not this. Not when there was just a flicker of it, and if he tried to tap into his power in order to sense more, Caiden would know. He knew when those around him used their abilities.

‘Of course you wouldn’t. Which is why you’ll be a bachelor until you’re a thousand years old.’

‘I honestly don’t see the problem in that. By that time, people will have stopped expecting me to open up and bare my heart to them. I see it as a win.’

‘You do open up, though.’

‘When?’

‘You’re opening up right now.’

Aedan’s brows pinched together. ‘Because you’re _you_. It’s different.’

‘How’s it different?’

‘You don’t push me to do it. I tell you things because I already trust you. That doesn’t mean I have to trust anyone that gets tossed my way. Which, by the way, I already pity.’

Caiden seemed to be on the verge of saying something, but someone came running through the open door, little wings flitting behind her.

‘I knew you’d be here!’

Lucie jumped on the bed, violet eyes sparkling with enthusiasm, as they always were. She sat on Caiden’s stretched legs, tapping his knees in that demanding way of hers.

‘Mommy sent me to tell you to come eat before the food gets cold. Ohhh, what are you painting?’

Then she jumped off the bed, inspecting Caiden’s latest art projects, touching the still-drying canvas and looking through the sketches. Her long, dark hair was braided back, but because she was always running around, it looked extremely messy. Lucie was four years old, a miniature, female version of Rhys with all of Feyre’s curiosity and love for art. However, Aedan had seen some of her own drawings, and it was obvious that the talent had been passed down only to Caiden.

‘Don’t smear that— And you smeared it,’ Caiden said, earning a hearty laugh from his sister. ‘It’s not dry, Luce. You can touch it afterwards.’

‘Where’s the fun in that?’

She attempted to touch it again, this time moving her fingers slowly, keeping an eye out for her brother. Knowing that she just wanted to be entertained, Caiden lunged for her and picked her up, making her squeal.

‘You’re a nightmare,’ he said, hoisting her over his shoulder. ‘If you pinch my wings, I’ll drop you.’

‘I’ll tell on you!’ She said, cheeks red from laughing, yet still squirmed in Caiden’s arms.

‘You know,’ Aedan said, standing up as well. ‘We’re highly outnumbered by girls in this family. I have three sisters, you have one. Why couldn’t we have more brothers?’

‘Because boys are annoying,’ Lucie announced while kicking her legs as hard as she could, attempting to hit Caiden either in the chest or face. ‘And they’re no fun.’

‘And you’re a little brat. Aedan, let’s go eat, otherwise I won’t get her off my back. Quite literally.’

Aedan watched with unsurpassed amusement as Lucie attempted to rile her brother up by pulling and tugging and wriggling, demanding that he play with her after they finished eating. As always, Caiden indulged her, though he was pretty certain he’d considered throwing her over the banister when she accidentally hit him in his left wing.

‘I think this one belongs to you,’ Caiden said to Rhys when they entered the dining room. Rhys bent to be on the same eye-level as his daughter, smiling indulgently.

‘Got into trouble again, my little terror?’

Still throwing over his shoulder, her hair now falling over her face, Lucie glanced at her dad with unapologetic eyes. ‘He said he’d throw me out the window.’

‘I did not!’

‘You did!’

‘You kicked my wings at least three times!’

‘Lucie, how many times did we talk about that? We don’t kick each other in the wings.’

Rhys unlatched his daughter from Caiden’s shoulder, settling down immediately. It seemed only Caiden had that effect on her.

‘He wasn’t playing with me,’ she explained. ‘I was bored.’

Rhys smoothed down her hair, kissing the crown of her head while Caiden glared daggers at her.

‘That’s no excuse to do that.’

Knowing what was expected of her, Lucie sighed a bit too dramatically. ‘I’m sorry for hitting your wings, Cay.’

‘I forgive you,’ Caiden replied, lips tugging upwards.

‘I’m also sorry that you’re such a _bore!_ ’

Sensing that an argument would ensue, Rhys darted towards the table. ‘Alright, let’s eat now!’

* * *

Evie was in the middle of stuffing her face with pot roast in the kitchen (safely away from her mother's view, of course) when her aunt slid in the chair next to her, a flurry of gold and red.

'So! I heard your sister has been asked out on a date.'

Mor was grinning like a wolf, oblivious to Evie's poor table manners. She wiped her face with the back of her hand, chomping down the meat off the bone.

'News travel fast. How do you know?'

'Az, who else?'

Evie furrowed her brows. 'How does he know?'

'He knows Vesper likes her,' she said as a matter-of-fact. 'He said it's pretty obvious, as well.'

'It is, when you think about it,' Evie mused, picking up a baked potato, throwing it into her gaping mouth. 'Boys can be extremely see-through.'

Except Caiden. He was a master when it came to keeping secrets.

'What about you?'

'What about me?'

'Do you like anyone?' she wiggled her beautifully shaped brows.

Evie put down the clean bone on her plate and finally used a napkin to wipe her fingers.

'You know I get bored easily. I have other priorities.'

'Smart girl,' she petted her head, as she often did when she was a child. 'Besides that, I came here for another reason.'

'Not only to chitchat with your favourite niece? I'm hurt, Mor.'

'We can catch up on gossip later. I'm going to the Winter Court next week to visit Viv, and I would like you to come with me.'

Caught off guard, Evie dropped her potato and whirled her head towards her aunt, thinking she must've heard her wrong. 'The... Winter Court? You want _me_ to come with you?'

'Yes.'

'What for? And if you're going to say that I need to work on my diplomacy and build relationships outside our court, I think you should ask Rheya. Just dye her hair my colour and no one's going to be able to tell the difference.'

'That's not it. I want you to come with me because Viv just let me know that a good part of their Winter legion will be at court right when we'd arrive, and she said it would be possible for you to train with them. Learn a few tricks from someone who's not an Illyrian or hails from our court.'

Evie fell silent. The Winter Court legion, or the Frost Knights, was one of the most elite groups of warriors in the known world. Unlike Illyrians, who mainly used their brute force and siphoned it with the help of magical stones, the knights dabbled in magic to boost their strength and had a fighting technique so elegant and deadly that few could ever hope to master it. They were renowned for their calm, silent behaviour, yet they valued discipline and resilience more than anything. Few even dared to hope to join their ranks, and the opportunity to train with them was unheard of. Evie knew that; she had read about them when she was eight years old.

'You're joking.'

Mor gave her a sly smile. 'I take you're interested?'

'How would that even be possible? They're the most elitist warriors in the world!'

'I have my ways,' Mor winked. 'I knew you wanted to meet them. Viv already talked with them, so the arrangements have been made. They wouldn't refuse their High Lady, after all.'

'But... But what about my parents?' she inquired, still dazed.

'What do they have to do with this?'

'As much as I appreciate you thinking I'm independent and need no one's permission to do anything, I'm not so sure they'd be on board with this little trip. Especially mom.'

Mor waved a nonchalant hand. 'Details. I'll talk to them. They know nothing could ever happen with me watching you, which is true. They'll say yes.'

Evie blinked one, twice, then launched herself at Mor.

'Cauldron, Mor, this is incredible! My gods, I'll see the Frost Knights! I'll train with them! I love you so much!'

She hugged her so tightly that Mor made a low-pitched noise, but hugged her back nonetheless.

'So... You're coming?' she laughed.

'Damn right I am! I need to take my weapons. And clothes. Court clothes, too! This is surreal, thank you, thank you!'

When she finally settled down, her head feeling lighter than ever, Evie allowed herself to imagine how training with a Frost Knight would be like. Demanding, perhaps a bit difficult, but revolutionary. Eye-opening. Oh, the tricks she would learn, and how far ahead she'd be compared to everyone else here... This seemed too good to be true.

'I was serious when I said that I'll be watching you, Eve. Like a hawk. No pranks or attempts to fool me, sneak away or do anything that would endanger you or anyone else. As long as you tell me what you plan on doing and I deem it's safe, you can do whatever. Just talk to me first.'

She nodded, although she was in a state where she would agree to pretty much anything. Mor babbled on about court etiquette, who else would be there, how glamorous their parties were, but Evie was lost to her own thoughts. She was aware that with Mor, Evie was less likely to do anything stupid; not because she was a good influence, but because she'd bite her head right off. And unlike her parents, who grew compliant over the years and didn't notice every idiotic little thing she did, Mor had a fresh set of eyes. She would sniff her attempts from a mile away.

But she doubted she'd even have any time for that, anyway. She would be too busy training.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This chapter's all about Rheya's first date and how it goes. The next one will be about Evie in the Winter Court and what trouble she gets into. Also, my fingers are itching to write about Aedan and Caiden already, so that might come next...
> 
> Thank you for reading & commenting! It means the world to me <3

Rheya flicked her fingers, extinguishing the flames little by little, until they turned to mere embers, then grew them back until the covered the entire stack of books, but didn't let them burn. The fire turned into ice; all of them had been turned into a solid block, and she concentrated on defrosting them so not one page would be soaked.

By the time she was done, Rheya tilted her head, inspecting the books. She frowned when she saw that one of the covers had been singed.

'You're distracted today.'

Rheya regarded her aunt, who wasn't even glancing at the books, but rather at an old tome that was set on the low table in front of her. Amren was sitting cross-legged on a pillow on the ground, heavily jewelled fingers flipping through the pages, her long earrings swaying as she leaned to read something small. Her red mouth was set in a hard line, meaning that she was concentrating on whatever she was looking for, but Rheya learned a long time ago that Amren had the uncanny ability to take into account everything that was happening around her.

Which meant that no matter how many times Rheya tried to get away with something, Amren would still know.

'I'm not,' she lied. 'It just... slipped.'

Amren finally looked at her. Her eyes, eyes which her parents described as having been utterly terrifying before she'd been turned into a High Fae, saw right through her poor attempt at denial.

'Are you still worn out after the henbane incident?'

Rheya shook her head.

Amren wasn't exactly the comforting sort, but her eyes did soften a little bit. 'If that's the case, then you know it's not a big deal. We can practice more after you're back to your normal spirits.'

'I'm in my normal spirits right now. That henbane didn't damper my abilities, Amren. I don't need a few days off.'

Even though she had enough days off.It had been almost six days after the incident, and she was perfectly fine.

'Then what is it? Because there is something on your mind. Don't bother lying again, I won't buy it. I'm not your father.'

Rheya couldn't help but grin a little. She always enjoyed her aunt's interaction with her dad. They had an odd relationship, jabbing at each other every time they could, even if the other wasn't present. Still, Rheya knew they considered each other family.

'Unless...' Amren's eyes squinted. 'Don't tell me it's about that _boy_ Mor was raving about.'

Her grin faded and she could feel her cheeks flaming. 'It's not that!'

Amren closed her eyes, pressing her forehead against her open palm. 'Not you, too. I had so much faith in you. Must every young Fae fall prey to such odious feelings?'

'Amren, you've been together with Varian for decades. Aren't you in love with him?'

Amren glowered. 'Don't insult me like that. Have you ever seen me distracted by him? No.'

'I am not distracted by a boy!'

'Isn't it enough that I have to deal with Evie's fluttering mind? Now you, too. This is dreadful. What's his name?'

Rheya clamped her mouth shut, debating whether it would be wise to disclose the truth to her aunt. She would likely forget by the time she'd leave her apartment, but what if she wouldn't? You never knew with her.

'Vesper,' she conceited, sitting down on the floor in front of the table. 'I'm going out with him tonight.'

Amren seemed surprised by that. 'Nesta and Cassian agreed?'

'Well, my mom did. My dad hasn't warmed up to the idea.'

'For the first time in the last century, I must agree with him. Boys are a waste of time at this age. This,' she pointed a finger at the book in front of her, 'should come first.'

'Please point me in the direction of another Fae my age that can do what I do, and then we'll talk.'

Amren knew she was right. Rheya's knowledge of magic at her age was deep; she could winnow, perform difficult spells, master a variety of the elements with little problems and use them to her advantage. The moment Amren found out what had happened to her, she began an extensive lesson about poisons and how to trace them by using her powers, which she had found endearing. It was her way of telling Rheya that she had been worried about her and wanted to arm her against similar situations.

'That doesn't mean you should grow comfortable with what you can do right now. You can do much more than this, and you know it.'

'How will going out on a date dim my potential? Evie goes on dates all the time and no one tells her that she'll be a mediocre fighter!'

'That's not it,' Amren rolled her eyes. 'Evie doesn't care about boys. You're not your sister.'

'As in, I care about boys?'

'Not about boys. You're just more empathetic than she is, and you take everything to the heart. Not that it's a bad thing, but I don't want you to lose sight of what's really important. Which is your evolution.'

She knew that. Her mother and father made sure to remind her what her priorities were when she told them she'd decided to go out with Vesper. Her mom didn't make it a big deal like her father did, but still, she wanted to make sure it wouldn't get in her way.

That wasn't even the problem. Rheya loved magic too much to ever stray from it; the problem was that she was nervous about it, and it made her careless today. If she wouldn't have been thinking about fifty ways her night could go wrong, that cover wouldn't have been scorched.

When she looked at her aunt again, an idea crossed Rheya's mind.

'Do you happen to have anything that helps with... You know... Calming down?'

Amren made a face. 'You seem calm enough to me.'

'I can get pretty agitated every now and then. A potion with a sugary taste would be better, I hate the sour ones.'

Then it dawned on Amren; she could see it on her face.

'So you're nervous,' she said, realisation filling her voice. 'Well, that's disappointing. Whatever would you be nervous for? In my opinion, dates are a waste of time. Half the time, they don't lead anywhere.'

'You weren't nervous when you went out with Varian for the first time?'

Amren smirked crudely. 'That didn't happen with us. We jumped straight to the fun part.'

Rheya's eyes went wide, but refrained from asking more about that. 'Alright, then what do you do when you're nervous?'

'Nothing.'

'Nothing?'

Amren raised a delicate shoulder. 'I never get nervous. It’s not in my nature.'

Rheya sighed, resting her head on a stack of wrinkled papers. They smelled like her mom's office.

'This is pointless. Maybe I shouldn't even go. Evie is away and can't help me pick something to wear, and I'll probably just make a fool of myself. Is it awful that I've never been on a date before? Even Rory makes fun of me. Everyone thinks it's amusing except my dad, who's my biggest supporter when it comes to my lack of dating. He'd be so proud if I cancelled my date.'

Rheya blabbered mostly because she knew there were slim chances Amren would actually answer; most of the time, when Rheya talked about something that was on her mind, she'd nod and mutter a _'mhmmm_ ' every now and then, carrying on with her own work. It suited them both; Rheya vented and Amren listened, which was ideal. Most of the time, Rheya didn't even want a reply or advice — she just wanted to be heard. Amren was perfect for that.

This wasn't the case. Amren hit her with a book over her head — thankfully, a paperback book — prompting her to yelp.

'Don't be an idiot! I will not be associated with a girl who is nervous about going on a date with a boy who probably has poor manners anyway. Whatever has Nesta taught you? You _will_ go on that date and you _will_ sit throughout it and act like you do with me and everyone else in this family and if he doesn't like you, then you should improve your taste in males. But don't waste your time, which at this moment is also _my_ time, by fretting over such silly things. You're a bright girl, Rheya. You have nothing to be nervous about. Except the tasks I'll give you for worrying so much over nothing.'

Not knowing how to react, Rheya simply nodded. To say that she was speechless was an understatement. But her aunt's eyes were fierce and she clearly believed every word she'd said, which comforted Rheya.

'I'm alright with that.'

* * *

Cassian was in a piss-poor mood. Bad enough that not even ten laps around the city and running up to the House of Wind and down subdued it. By the time he washed off all the dirt and sweat and dried, he hoped he'd be too tired to be annoyed anymore, but he wasn't that lucky.

He got dressed, then his eyes fell on a couple of Nesta's misplaced jewelleries. Even though he wanted nothing more than to toss them under their bed and watch her attempt to find them, he placed them in their exact spots in the jewellery box. He may be pissed at her, but not enough to take it out on her belongings.

Truth be told, it was one of their stupid fights. Often they wouldn't even care about more important issues, but of course one would snap if the other forgot to pick something up or lost an item. In this case, they fought about the fact that Nesta forgot to inform him about the school meeting with the teachers, which she had signed him up for, since it was in the middle of the day and there was no way she could make it. Cassian had no issue going; quite the opposite, this way he'd find out more about what his children did in school. However, his mate only remembered when he confronted her after receiving a very angry letter from the headmistress, and when he went to the school to apologise, the damn woman scolded him for being so irresponsible. As if he was at fault for any of this.

Nesta looked baffled when he stormed into her office and told her about this. She apologised, he was still pissed, she got angry because he was pissed, and, well... the rest was history. At least he got it out of his system.

With most of the children out of the house, Evie in the Winter Court, Rheya at Amren's and Aedan at the stables, the house was eerily quiet. He knocked on Rory's door and went inside, finding her fast asleep in her bed, clutching one of Rheya's old dolls to her chest. She loved afternoon naps more than anyone else, and never even fought them. The sight of her sweet face faded his annoyance as he draped a blanket over her, tucking her in. He half hoped she'd be awake to distract him, but waking her up would mean courting chaos. Rory valued her sleep and Cassian his ears.

Well, at least Rheya and Aedan should be home soon enough. Maybe they would deign to spend some time with him, since he tired of mulling over what went down between him and Nesta.

When the front door opened Cassian was already downstairs, picking up some thrown toys, and immediately sighed when he sensed his mate.

'Are you still pissed at me?'

He gave her a one-sided glance as he threw the dolls inside their crate.

Nesta winced. 'I guess you are.'

He didn't say anything, listening to her take off her coat and shoes, set her bag and stack of papers on a corner table, then make her way towards him. Cassian didn't stop her as she circled his waist with her arms, resting her head between his shoulder blades, her hair tickling his wings.

'I'm really sorry. I completely forgot. I didn't think that old crone would scold you for such a little thing. Do you want me to go there and have a go at her? You know I've been dying to do that for years, and this is a perfectly reasonable motive. Only I get to scold you.’

Cassian glanced at the ceiling, marvelling at how fast his annoyance began to dissipate. Still, he wasn't going to give in so easily. He could have some fun, since it wasn't often Nesta was at fault for something.

He peeled her hands off, stepping away. He continued to pick up the toys, then went into the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water as Nesta trailed after him.

When he finally looked at her, she looked crestfallen.

'I'll make it up to you. Date? Dinner? We can go camping for a night or two. Or go to that lake you like so much? I'm down for sword practice, if you'd like. Just don't be mad at me anymore, I've had an awful day and you not talking to me would make it ten times worse.'

The last flicker of annoyance vanished. For Nesta to offer to go camping, which she absolutely loathed, meant that she was truly feeling sorry.

And Cassian was an asshole for making such a big deal out of this, as usual.

He set the glass down and tugged her towards him, enveloping her in a hug. She sighed in relief as she hugged him back.

'I stopped being mad the second you walked in,' he said, kissing her head. 'Well, partially at least. What happened?'

'Just tired,' she replied, pressing her body against his. Cassian knew what it meant; not anything inappropriate, but she was feeling overwhelmed and needed a shoulder — or rather, a body — to lean on. 'I miss Evie, too.'

Cassian ran his hand up and down her back, feeling just how tense and knotted her muscles were.

'Me too. Mor sent me a message an hour or two ago, she assured me that Evie was fine and already bickered with a few Winter Fae. Means she's in good spirits.'

'What about the others? Are they not home yet? Is Rory still asleep? She shouldn't sleep so much during the day, she won't go to sleep tonight and—'

Cassian pushed her away just an inch, enough to look at her precious face.

'Sweetheart? Relax. Rheya is at Amren's, Aedan at the stables, probably with Caiden, too. Rory fell asleep less than half an hour ago, so she's fine. Now, will you tell me what's going on?'

Nesta blinked, obviously confused. 'Nothing's going on. Just a couple bad meetings, and then it went downhill after our fight. Not that I blame you, since it's technically my fault, but I don't like it when we're mad at each other.'

'Me either,' he admitted, brushing her cheek with his fingers. 'I wasn't actually that mad. It's just so rare that you're the one doing something wrong for once, that I thought to take advantage of if.'

There — a smile. Cassian felt like his whole heart expanded.

'So I'm all forgiven?'

'Yes. But I'll still take you up on that camping trip, just another day. How about we go out tonight, just the two of us?'

Nesta nodded. 'I'd like that. And I was thinking of taking off a few days. I'm just too exhausted to function properly anymore.'

'I was going to suggest that myself, but I wasn't sure you'd react nicely,' he chuckled. ‘You enjoy what you do too much.’

‘That’s true, but I enjoy spending time with you infinitely more. Oh, I almost forgot! Rheya has her date tonight. We should wait to leave after she does.’

That put a damper on Cassian’s mood faster than a massacre. He groaned, dropping his head on Nesta’s shoulder, his irritation flaring when she laughed.

‘This isn’t funny in the least. Why did we even agree to it? I don’t like that boy.’

‘Cassian, she’s seventeen. There’s nothing wrong with her going out with a boy. Well, back in the Human Realm it would’ve definitely been a problem, but this isn’t the case here. It’s not like they’d be doing something inappropriate. Why are you so opposed to it?’

He pulled back, meeting her bemused eyes. ‘Because she’s my daughter.’

‘Your daughter is also a female who wishes to explore. You should know that, you always loved her curiosity.’

His face went slack. ‘Explore? Explore _what?’_

Cassian saw that Nesta regretted even opening up this subject, but he didn’t care. Going on dates was something, but _exploring_ wasn’t something his heart was ready to acknowledge. He was well aware that at their age Cassian was doing far worse things, but they were his babies. In his mind, they were still ten years old.

‘I’m sensing that this isn’t something we should talk about just yet,’ she said in a calming voice. ‘Either way, don’t make her feel weird about it, Cass. It’s her first date. Be supportive.’

‘I’m always supportive!’

‘Not when it comes to dating.’

‘Point me in the direction of any father who is, sweetheart.’

The front door opened, and they both turned towards it, knowing that it was Rheya. Aedan never slammed the door shut so loudly.

‘One more thing,’ Nesta added. ‘I know you’ll make that boy come inside and give him a talk. I’m alright with that, as long as Rheya doesn’t hear you. Deal?’

‘Deal,’ he grumbled at the same moment Rheya ran in the kitchen.

She barely stopped to give them a tight smile. ‘Hi.’

‘Hi,’ they both said back.

‘Um, mom, do you mind helping me with something upstairs?’

‘Sure, go ahead and I’ll be right there.’

‘Now!’ She nearly shouted as she dashed outside, the sound of her footsteps going up the stairs making him laugh. One way to know Rheya was going through something: she stomped around. Loudly.

‘At long last, one of them asks me to help them with their clothes for a date,’ Nesta said dreamily. ‘Good thing she’s not as picky as Evie.’

‘Are you sure we can’t make her stay home?’

‘Positive,’ she said, making for the door. ‘She’s old enough to decide for herself.’

Cassian muttered something under his breath, well aware of the fact that she was. That didn’t mean he had to be too happy about it.

* * *

The boy, Vesper, showed up at their door less than an hour later.

Cassian was in the middle of polishing a couple of daggers while Rory was talking about her day at school when the knock interrupted them. Thankfully, Nesta was still upstairs with Rheya, so he had leave to do whatever.

When he opened the door, revealing an adequately dressed Vesper, with his hair neatly arranged and a stack of books tucked under one arm, Cassian’s features were already hard. Vesper, on the other hand, seemed oblivious.

‘Hello, Commander. It’s nice to see you again.’

‘I can’t say the same.’

‘I’m here for Rory. And before you ask me, yes, I prepared a plan for you to review. There’s a comedy performance in the town square tonight, and from what I’ve heard, they use a lot of dark humour, which also happens to be Rheya’s favourite. Then, I was thinking of having a picnic on the beach, since it’s not crowded and I know she isn’t a fan of crowds. I already asked one of the maids from my house to help me set everything up. And I’m not too sure if I should be telling you this, but I’m very tempted to sneak us both inside the forbidden part of the library. They have a ton of magical books that she’d love to look over, but I’ll convince her not to steal any. I will have her back by ten, you have my word.’

Cassian considered him for a second before stepping aside, waving an arm.

‘I guess you can wait inside while she’s getting ready.’

‘Thank you.’

Rory gave them a knowing look, smirking like a vicious cat. ‘Dad, are you going to act like this when I’ll go on a date, too?’

‘There’s a high chance of that happening, darling.’

'And Aedan?'

'What about Aedan?'

'Will you scare away his dates, too?'

Cassian couldn't help but laugh. 'If it's a girl he chooses to date, I'll leave that to your mother. She'd be more thorough than me.'

While her intentions had always been pure, Nesta tended to go a little overboard when it came to Aedan. It started from her desire to make him feel at home and comfortable around other Fae, something their daughters never struggled with; not even Rory, since she'd been in the same boat with him. But Rory had been too young for her mind to shape like Aedan's, and adapted quickly.

He remembered how she'd go pick him up from school every day, even though it embarrassed him, and how she talked with his teachers at least once a week. She encouraged him to make friends, sometimes throwing him in with other children of dignitaries she dealt with, and liked to intrude every now and then in his personal life. When she had _the talk_ with the twins — something Cassian wasn't allowed to attend, knowing it would just embarrass them — Nesta thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to also have it with Aedan.

That didn't end well.

Aedan marched up to him, more flustered and red than he'd ever seen him, and told him to inform Nesta that he had no desire to learn about contraceptive methods and the right circumstances to begin his sexual life. In all fairness, he'd been sixteen at the time, and barely spent his time with girls. Cassian understood why he didn't want to talk about sex with his mother.

Too caught up in his own thoughts, he didn't even notice Vesper moving to sit next to Rory, who was showing him her latest drawings. They were mostly deformed animals (he assured her that they were extremely realistic) and princesses with one too many fingers or crossed eyes.

'Rory, can you take these to the armoury, please?'

She looked at the bandolier of daggers he held, nodding enthusiastically. Although she aspired to become a princess, she found sharp objects just as intriguing as her siblings.

'Don't cut yourself with them, alright?'

'I know how to hold a dagger,' she scrunched her nose, snatching the bandolier and heading upstairs.

Cassian sat down on the opposite couch, arms crossed as he regarded Vesper.

'Shall I set out the rules for you?'

'That doesn't sound like I have too much of an option.'

_True,_ Cassian thought. At least he's not an idiot. He didn't have to worry about that aspect of his personality.

'I'm hoping that you already know the basic ones: be nice, considerate, and most importantly, respectful. If you attempt to touch her without her approval, I'll know, and you'll say goodbye to that hand. You do anything she doesn't want to do, you lose more than a hand. You make her cry, which would be catastrophic, since Rheya rarely cries, you can say goodbye to a future in Velaris. I hear Hewn is nice around this time of year. And if you toy with her feelings, you'll find out up close and personal why they call me the Lord of Bloodshed.'

To his credit, Vesper didn't balk at his threats. He merely nodded, fingers intertwined in his lap.

'I wasn't planning on doing any of those things, but thanks for the warning.'

'You're a young Illyrian male, and they tend to be pretty thick at your age. At least you didn't grow up in a war camp.'

He would've acted the same if he was a High Fae, but an Illyrian made him want to be more wary. Some tended to be show-offs, viewing females as their conquests, thinking with their dicks instead of their brains. Rheya was rational, too rational for her own good, and wasn't adept to that sort of thinking.

'Didn't you grow up in a war camp?'

Cassian shot him a scathing look. Vesper clamped his mouth shut.

'If I were you, I wouldn't question my abilities to act around females. I live with four of them. My mate is Nesta Archeron. That should say enough.'

Vesper nodded thoughtfully. 'Did you know they tell scary stories about her? Especially outside Velaris. Just like those with Amren, only more wrathful.'

That almost made him grin. Oh, Nesta would love to hear that.

'Cassian, can you come up here? I need to move something!'

He frowned, twisting his head in the direction of Nesta's voice. 'What do you need to move? We're not rearranging the furniture again!'

_'Cassian!'_

With a sigh, he stood up and made for the stairs.

'Remember, if you do anything you shouldn't do, Rheya has leave to kill you, and she'll definitely get away with it.'

Vesper chuckled. 'Then I shall give her no reasons to do that.'

Upstairs, Nesta was in their bedroom. Before he had a chance to ask what she needed to move, she grasped his arm and pulled him inside.

'I thought it would be nice to not embarrass her further and let her see him alone.'

'What? Nesta!'

'Stop it, you're going to scare that boy away. He's nice enough, I asked around about him. Quite the troublemaker and loudmouth, but we have one of those home, too.'

He was on the verge of saying something, but he heard Rheya going down the stairs, and he peeked outside. She was wearing a cream summer dress and her hair was hanging in curls, some strands pinned at the back with one of Nesta's hairpins. In that moment, she looked more like Nesta than ever, her poise sure and unfaltering. The only indication that she was nervous was the slight twitching of her wings.

Cassian allowed himself to smile as Nesta took a peak as well.

'Can you believe we made something so beautiful?' she wondered out loud, leaning against his body. 'I still can't believe she's ours. Any of them, actually.'

'She looks a lot like you. Her glacial stare is almost as perfect as yours.'

'You do love it when I look at you like that.'

'I'm a masochist. And it turns me on.'

'Wrong time to talk about that,' Nesta shook her head.

He would've liked to eavesdrop more, but from the sound of footsteps, they were heading towards the door.

'Home by ten!' he yelled.

'Dad, you're killing me!' Rheya yelled back, and Cassian gave a hearty laugh.

At least she wasn't nervous enough to not shout back at him.

* * *

The night had been, in her opinion, a mild success.

Mild, because she was sure she ruined it at first.

When Vesper showed her the books he'd gotten for her, books she gawked at it disbelief, she found no words to thank him. Touched as she was by the gesture, Rheya couldn't make her tongue form any words.

She was tongue-tied while they walked together towards the city centre, though Vesper didn't seem to mind. He was his usual, charismatic self, talking and poking around, asking her questions. Only when he made a jest about her did she shot back.

They attended a comedy show, which certainly lightened the mood. Rheya laughed throughout it, eyes glued on the stage and the comedians, enjoying the tales they depicted and events they described. There wasn't one Fae in the audience who wasn't red from laughing. After that, Vesper led her to the banks of the Sidra, where — to her surprise — he'd set up a picnic.

That got her back to square one. Complete and utter surprise. They were also alone, with no one around to provide as a distraction, and it dawned on her just how... precarious dates could be. Nerve-wrecking, even.

She was uncharacteristically silent as she ate, then drank the still-cool cider. Her wings wouldn't stop twitching.

'Rheya?'

'Yes?' she snapped back to reality.

'Am I... Do you want to go home?'

She squinted her eyes at him, his hair tousled from the night breeze. For the first time tonight, there was a little uncertainty in his gaze.

'Why would I want to go home?'

'You barely spoke to me all night,' he said softly. 'Not that there's anything wrong with not talking, but I know you're not always quiet. I just wanted to make sure you actually want to be here, with me.'

Rheya blinked at the implication of his words, then laughed. Vesper's mouth curved into a silent 'o', clearly taken aback once again by her reaction.

'I do want to be here,' she explained, her laughter subduing as her cheeks flushed. 'I'm just incredibly nervous, and I don't like being nervous. It goes against who I am.'

'You're talking like you're a marble statue, incapable of having normal feelings and reactions,' Vesper said, relief clear on his face. 'I'm nervous too, you know.'

'Why would you be nervous about?' she frowned. 'Is this about my dad? I knew he'd say something to you. What is it, did he threaten you? Did he tell you the story about the dismembering of criminals, or how they hung them up in damp caves to starve?'

She should've known her dad would've intervened. Her mom did linger longer than usual to put coloured powder on her eyelids and rouge on her lips, but Rheya didn't think he'd have too much time to do any real damage. Damn it, she should’ve—

'What? No, no, that’s not it. I admit he is a bit scary, but it wasn't him. I was just nervous about seeing you, and spending an entire evening with you alone. I didn't want to fuck it up, or say the wrong thing, which I usually do.' He then made a pause, twisting the glass between his fingers. 'I didn't know if you'd change your mind or not, or realise that it was a mistake.'

A mistake? On her part? She began shaking her head, the tremor in her wings finally stopping, and for the first time tonight, she let them rest behind her, on the warm blanket. If anything, it should be a dead giveaway to her desire to be here, and that she was more comfortable than before.

'I don't think it's a mistake,' she began. 'I want to be here, and I had an incredible night. It's just the getting to know someone part that's... tricky for me. I'm used to being known by those who are around me all the time, and, well, I must've grown complacent. My bad. With them, I don't have to worry about how they see me after I do or say something.'

'You think I'd change my mind about you?' he asked in a quiet voice.

Rheya nodded. It wasn't pretty, and it didn't speak loads about her self-assurance, but it was the truth. If he didn't accept it, then perhaps it was for the best, although it would've--

'I had my mind and heart set on you since the first time you hexed me, Rheya Archeron. I'm counting on you being a bit controversial. What do you think lured me in the first time?'

Rheya took in his soft features, how different they seemed from his characteristically roguish face, his sharp tongue and witty humour. Now, under the moonlight and fading sounds of the city, Rheya felt like staring at someone else — no, not someone else. Someone without a mask on. No defences or games. He was being as open and vulnerable with her as he could, and in doing so, he risked a lot. People usually did when they opened their hearts like that, welcoming either a caressing hand or a dagger.

'I hoped it was my impeccable skill with magic,' she finally answered, her nerves easing completely. 'And sparking personality.'

Vesper laughed. 'Those come after. It's your calculating mind. You'd be a terrific battle strategist, you know? Fae will one day kill for your counsel.'

'They just might, when they'll hear about my fares.'

'Tax the overly-rich lords and ladies. Especially the heads from other courts. I hear Helion's coffers run deep.'

Rheya scoffed. 'Don't say that around my sister. She pretends she's over her crush on him, but I know better. She perks up like a puppy whenever anyone mentions him.

'Evie and... Helion?' he cringed. 'Cauldron, that would be catastrophic.'

'That's just putting it mildly, but she'd give him a run for his money.'

Vesper propped his head on his palm, legs sprawled before him as he surveyed Rheya with keen interest.

'I thought you two would be more similar when I met you, but you have little in common when it comes to your personalities.'

The side of her mouth quirked upwards. 'We get that a lot.'

'What is it like, having a twin?'

They both got asked that question a lot. Once or twice, even her parents asked them that, but they were still little, and what did they know about it? They just were, and there simply wasn't another option for them in order to live.

'It's like staring in a foggy mirror. It shows you another version of your person. Evie can be a lot, and can I drive her mad, too, but I never knew a world without her in it. She did, for a few minutes before I was born, but I had the privilege of stepping into it when she was already here. I'm selfish enough to say that I hope I'll never get to live without her, because although we might be different, she's the one I love most. I love the rest of my family as well, but Eve feels like an extended part of myself, as weird as it sounds. Having a twin, especially a twin like Eve, means that I will never be alone.'

Rheya rarely got overwhelmed with emotions for her siblings, since she was always having a fight with at least one of them. They drove her mad and tested her patience. But what would she be like without them? How lonely would she have been without Evie?

'You almost make me jealous,' Vesper finally said, a look of delight crossing his face. 'I may not have a twin, but I'll find out soon enough if having a sibling is really that fun.'

She remembered his mother was pregnant, due any day now. 'What is she going to have?'

'A boy,' he replied, smiling in earnest now. 'You should've seen how sad she was about it. She wanted a girl this time.'

'Maybe the third time will do the trick.'

Vesper scoffed. 'Trust me, she won't take that chance again. She and my dad talked about it. It's either a girl or nothing, so they'll probably look into adopting again. I don't blame her, though. I wasn't a fan of playing with dolls or dress up when I was young, and it might also be the case of my brother.'

Then it occurred to her — Vesper was in a situation similar to Aedan and Rory's. They were also adopted.

'Can I ask you something?'

'Shoot.'

'Did you ever feel like an outsider with your family? Because of the adoption?'

He gave a dry laugh. 'You're wondering if Aedan has ever felt like the odd one out?'

'Yes,' she said sheepishly.

'No,' he said, leaning on his back and gazing at the sky. ‘Rory was like three when she was adopted, right? So was I, and just like she didn't take long to view your parents as her parents, too, I didn't, either. I may not be biologically theirs, but they never treated me otherwise. In Aedan's case... well, he was older, and his life had been shit, but if anything, I think it's quite the opposite of what you think.'

'How?'

'I remember Aedan when he first came to our school. He looked... scared of everything. Like he might stab you if you got too close. But now? He's the most himself around you and your family. So while he's well aware that he's not biologically your brother, I doubt he'd ever felt left aside. If anything, I think your mom enjoys coddling him the most.'

That made her laugh. 'It's true, and he claims he dislikes it, but I think he sometimes enjoys it.'

'Do they coddle you, too?'

'Me? No. They know I'd hate it. Although my mom still freaks out whenever dad gives us weapons and spars with us, and let me tell you, he doesn't pull back his hits, his children or not.'

She loved that about her dad — how, during training, he never treated them as children. He wanted to make sure that they could protect themselves too, and wouldn't have to rely on anybody else to step up for them.

'You don't pull back your hits either, you know.'

Rheya gawked at him. 'I do! Not with you, but I do.'

With Rory, for example, Rheya showed immense patience. Not that she sparred with her younger sister, but just teaching her how to tumble, tuck and roll and have a correct grip on weapons was enough to drive any instructor mad.

'It's alright, they barely hurt.'

Her cheek twitched in indignation. 'Liar.'

'No, I'm serious. It's like a feather-like hit most of the time. Sometimes it tickles.'

'Are you baiting me?'

'I wouldn't dare to,' he smirked, turning his head to look at her. 'You're clearly a menace to my wellbeing.'

Rheya aimed for his stomach — a hard blow that would've left him gasping for air for a good while. Swinging back, fist clenched, she made to deliver the hit, but Vesper saw it coming. His hand wrapped around her wrist at the last second, rolling on his side and pulling her after.

'Make it less obvious next time,' Vesper laughed. 'I don't know what gave you away first, the snarl or swing.'

'Next time, I won't make the same mistake,' she huffed, rolling on her back. 'It would've been a magnificent blow, though.'

'I agree, but I'd rather not fight you on a date. Would ruin the prospect for future ones.'

Rheya glanced at him; he was leaning on his elbow again, looking down at her with endless amusement.

'Future ones? Now look who's bold.'

'Is it a crime that I want to go out with a beautiful lady who can maim me if I say the wrong thing? There's hardly anything that can top that.'

Try as she might, Rheya couldn't hold back the heat that washed over her face, and she prayed that Vesper's vision wasn't all that good during the night. However, judging by the way he kept his eyes trained on her face, she seriously doubted that.

'In that case, watch your tongue,' she said, a little breathless.

'Oh, I'm watching something far more interesting than my tongue right now,' he replied, and only years of training prevented her from startling when his finger twirled around one of her curls.

When their gazes found each other, Rheya could hear her heartbeat in her ears. His fingers lingered in her hair for a moment before touching her cheek, shoulders sinking. Rheya had never seen him look so... So unsure.

Swallowing the knot in her throat, Rheya pretended to turn her head more to get a better view of him, but the movement only glued his hand to her face.

'You didn't even look like this when Azriel made us shoot blindly at each other.'

'I'd rather risk an arrow than do the wrong thing,' he said in a raspy voice.

'Then risk doing the wrong thing and see what happens.'

Vesper considered her words, not taking his eyes off her face for one second. She was trying heard to ignore the erratic beating of her heart, her clammy hands and intrusive thoughts, especially when he leaned over her, his wispy hair touching her face.

Then she heard it — the wild beating of his own heart. Sensed the nervousness, strong desire. It was so intoxicating, Rheya fought back a gasp when it washed over her in sweet, rolling waves.

She never felt desire like that in her life.

'Can I kiss you?'

'Yes,' she said almost immediately, and the moment Vesper leaned down to kiss her, Rheya pushed up on her arms, meeting in the middle.

It was her first kiss, and there had been plenty of times when Rheya had envisioned how it would feel. Weird, perhaps, or even a little uncomfortable, but there was nothing of that sort when Vesper’s lips moved on hers, so soft and careful, that palm on her cheek gently tilting her head back and unraveling her.

Stomach tied it knots, Rheya kissed him back — tentatively at first, unsure of what she should do with her hands and if moving her lips this or that way was a wise choice, if it felt nearly as good for him as it did for her. Right when she was considering imitating his movements, seeming a plausible method of learning how to kiss properly, Vesper pulled back just a tiny bit.

The worst came to mind.

‘Was it… Was I bad?’

His eyebrow squeezed tight. ‘That’s the first ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard you say. You’re perfect.’

With an uncharacteristically big grin, Rheya kissed Vesper again, this time leaving her worries aside.

* * *

He got her home a few minutes before ten, after surprising her with a visit to the library. And not just any part of the library — the forbidden section, one where Amren deigned to take her just once, just in case she got ‘too many ideas that she couldn’t be bothered to rectify’. Rheya forgot all about being on a date and browsed as much as she could on her favourite topics. When she was fairly certain that Vesper wasn’t paying attention, she sneaked a book inside her back, then another one. Surely no one would miss them.

On the way back home, Rheya had been so overwhelmed by everything that’d happened, she could hardly find the words to express it. So she just held his hand, hoping it would convey everything her mouth refused to say.

‘Thank you for tonight,’ she said as soon as they stopped in front of her door. ‘It’s been wonderful.’

‘Is it too bold of me to hope that we can repeat it another time?’ He asked, reaching to hold her other hand.

She looked up at him, since he was well taller, and pretended to consider it. ‘I don’t know, I’ll have to check my schedule first. Between beating you at that tournament and training, I hardly have any free time.’

Vesper laughed, taking a step closer until the points of their shoes were touching.

‘I may like you a lot, Rheya,’ he said, ‘but I hope you know I won’t let you win.’

‘I would’ve hated you otherwise,’ she grinned.

‘Well, until you make up your mind about me, which I assure you it won’t take long…’ he sneaked an arm around her waist and pulled her impossibly close, kissing her fiercely. Her toes curled inside her shoes by the warmth and giddiness that overcame her body, sudden flashes of pleasure that left her mind foggy. He ran his hand up her back, deftly avoiding touching her wings. She may have been raised among High Fae, but rarely did she let anyone she didn’t completely trust touch them.

‘I hope you’ll think fondly of me,’ he whispered when they broke apart.

‘I’ll think of beating you. It can’t get any fonder than that.’

Vesper grinned and was about to say something, but the front door flew open, revealing none other than her dad.

Rheya didn’t even bother to hide her frustration.

‘You and I need to talk about boundaries,’ she turned towards her dad, who had the audacity to look like someone betrayed him.

‘Boundaries? I respect all of your boundaries. Just not so much when it comes to a boy,’ he gave Vesper a sour smile, crossing his arms. ‘Well, since it’s ten, you can take your leave, Vergil. It’s been a pleasure seeing you. Don’t turn it into a habit.’

‘I will keep that in mind,’ Vesper replied, still grinning. ‘Have a good night, Rheya. I’ll see you at school.’

‘Goodnight,’ she nodded, fighting back the urge to throw something at her dad.

When Vesper started walking away, Rheya took one look at her dad’s satisfied smile before gripping his forearm and dragging him — or rather trying to — inside.

‘This is unacceptable!’ She bellowed, glad that he at least played along. ‘Stop behaving like this, it’s embarrassing!’

He scoffed. ‘Stop exaggerating. It’s not like I tagged along or followed you. Although I had half a mind to do that…’

Her mom was sitting on the couch with Aedan, talking about something. Once they saw them enter, her mom’s face lit up. ‘How was it? Did you enjoy it? Did he kiss you?’

‘Nesta!’

‘Mom!’ They yelled in unison. Then Rheya coughed, dropping her dad’s arm. ‘ _You_ need to talk to him. He can’t keep doing this, I’m not twelve!’

‘No, you’re seventeen, an age where many of us make a lot of mistakes,’ he mused, moving to sit down next to her mom. ‘I’m aware that you’re not on board with this, but it’ll take a while before I get used to the idea.’

‘Don’t you trust me?’

‘Of course I trust you,’ he waved a nonchalant hand. ‘It’s him I don’t trust.’

‘If it’s any help,’ Aedan cut in, ‘I hardly think Vesper would do her wrong. He’s been swooning over her since we were what, thirteen? Fourteen?’

‘Really?’ Her mom chirped. ‘That’s adorable,’ she said, turning to look at Cassian’s grim face. ‘Oh, stop pouting like a child. Nothing happened to her, she obviously had a good time, so cut them some slack. It’s not like they’re sleeping together.’

Aedan laughed harshly at Rheya’s flaming face. Her dad looked at her mom like she completely lost her mind.

‘Don’t even joke about that.’

‘Why wouldn’t I? How old were you when you had sex?’ She asked, but Rheya was certain she already knew the answer to that question. She was just trying to make a point.

‘Now this is getting interesting,’ Aedan murmured, turning to face their parents.

‘That’s irrelevant. I was a stupid kid back then. Rheya is nothing like I was.’

‘Which is why she isn’t a danger to herself or anyone around her,’ her mom shrugged. ‘Like you were. I trust her judgement.’

She winked at her, and Rheya damn nearly sighed in relief. ‘Thank you, mom.’

‘I’m still going to expect details about the date, you know.’

‘Oh, me too,’ Aedan said sarcastically. ‘I’m dying to know. Did he tell you you’re brighter than the sun, or more mysterious than the moon?’

Rheya picked a pillow and threw it at his head while their dad snickered. He caught it before it could hit his face.

‘Or, let me guess, you’re so violent, it’s endearing.’

‘Shut up. Jealousy doesn’t suit you well.’

‘What would I be jealous of? I spent my entire day riding in the woods. That’s enough to keep me happy.’

‘Explains why you reek of a horse,’ she scrunched her nose, then made for her room.

‘And you of Vesper.’ He shot back.

_‘What?!_ Rheya, come back here!’

Shaking her head, she didn’t bother to answer back. All she wanted to do was get into bed and replay the events of the night — maybe sneak a look at those forbidden books, too.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! 
> 
> First of all, ACOSF was released a little while ago and I have yet to read the book (because I am terribly scared and nervous about it), so I wanted to kindly ask you to not give any spoilers in the comments. I am (obviously) deeply attached to Nesta as a character and see so much of myself in her, so I'm trying to postpone reading it for a little while, until I gather my courage. 
> 
> Secondly, I'm sorry for the long wait for this chapter; these haven't been the best weeks of my life and I'm also trying to stay on top of my uni assignments. 
> 
> Either way, a million thanks for reading this fanfic and for all the support you gave it!! 
> 
> I hope you have a wonderful day. <3

So far, Evie's stay at the Winter Court had been... eventful. Before winnowing them here, Mor briefed her on what they would be doing, who they'd spend most of their time with and what to expect. She also added as a last thought what she shouldn't be doing, which mainly consisted of not getting into physical altercation and not baiting anyone into one. It was pretty reasonable in Evie's opinion.

However, she didn't expect to unwillingly get caught up in one.

Needless to say, after just a few hours at the court, Evie sported a bruised lip after a guard yelled something both insulting and obscene after her. It was a woman who said it; something along the lines of _'vile creatures, these half-breed Illyrians'_ and _'their arrogance is unfounded, but they insist on parading themselves around like cattle. Or prostitutes.'_

She could've overlooked it — no one was there to bear witness except the other snickering guard. If she was a better Fae with more patience, Evie would've walked away. She would've ignored it.

But she didn’t, because she wasn’t.

Which is why her aunt was chastising her at the very moment.

‘— and we can't allow anyone else, no matter what court they're from, to look down on us! Are you even listening to me, Eve?'

Evie snapped back to attention. 'I am now. And I know what you're thinking, and the answer is no. I couldn't have ignored it. They insulted me without provocation. They called me a vile half-breed!'

Mor nearly flinched from the words. 'I know. I'm not mad that you punched that girl.'

'You're not?'

'No. I'm mad that you got caught.'

Evie smiled, ignoring her stinging lip. 'Me too. I'll work on that.'

'Good,' she nodded, eyes focusing on her lip. 'Does it hurt?'

'No. I've had worse from better fights. This is nothing.'

Mor sighed, looking at the ceiling of Evie's designated bedroom in the palace. 'It's like I'm having a conversation with Cassian four or five hundred years ago. Sometimes I wonder if he taught you these lines when you were a baby.'

'Please, I have more originality than him. You should hear my speeches before a duel. Worthy of a villain.'

'Let's hope you won't turn into one,' she said, rifling through her bag. She took out a tin, throwing it in her direction. Evie caught it with one hand. 'Use this for your lip. It's the salve I use for when Finn scrapes his knees or palms, which is quite often for a kid so solemn. It's almost hilarious. I always keep one in my bag, just in case.'

Evie uncapped it, applying a thin layer on her lip. Her younger cousin, Finn, was truly a menace to himself. For all his high intellect and quick thinking, poor Finn was the clumsiest boy she'd ever met. It made her heart melt.

'You should keep it, though. I think you need it more than him.'

'Thank you,' she laughed. 'So, when can I meet the guards? You said they're stationed here. Is tonight too soon?'

Mor glanced at herself in the mirror, running a hand through her curls. 'Don't worry, they won't leave without you meeting them. Vivi said they'd be at the feast tonight.'

She almost began tapping her foot against the floor from excitement. Finally — finally she would meet the legendary warriors.

* * *

Balls and glamorous parties weren’t foreign to Evie. She’d been going to them for as long as she could remember, and for the most part, she enjoyed them, too. But what it soon occurred to her was that not all parties were like those back home — no, they were different here. They followed proper _etiquette_ , wore proper _clothes_ and their mannerisms were so impeccable, they would’ve made even Rheya feel out of place, and she was the most well-mannered young person she knew.

In the Night Court, everyone wore whatever the hell they wanted. Felt like showing a lot of skin? Good! High collars and tight garments? Also good! Veils and masks to obscure your identity? No one cared!

Here? Oh, no, this wasn’t the way here, and Evie immediately regretted not listening to Mor as soon as she stepped inside the ballroom.

Slow, orchestral music played from one corner while the guests mingled, delicate dresses flowing around like snowflakes and soft laughter echoing across the immense room. From the top of the ceiling, snow fell in a steady rhythm, but Evie was surprised that none touched the guests. Long tables covered in white, silken tablecloths held high platters of foods she had never tasted, and somewhere in between the those tables, fountains of beverages attracted a small crowd. Each time a champagne or wine bottle popped open, the crowd erupted in cheers.

Mor guided her through the Fae, saying a ‘hello’ and ‘I haven’t seen you in ages!’ Every now and then, but didn’t stop to chat with anyone. They went straight for the back of the room, where a long banquet table was placed on a podium overlooking the entire room. Here, the lights were dimmed, and the wall behind was covered in what seemed like ice. Evie’s mouth hung open once she took a closer look at it: no, it wasn’t just ice — things have been carved into it, too. Symbols of the court, faces, historical events, even columns as high as the room. She was gawking at one of those when Mor stopped short, almost making her bump into her back.

‘I had the same reaction at first,’ Mor laughed, threading their arms together. ‘It’s a magnificent ballroom, isn’t it?’

‘It is,’ Evie agreed, staring at the ceiling. ‘Wait, is that also carved? How did they—‘

‘Mor!’ A high-pitched voice interrupted her. ‘Finally, you arrived. I’m all about being fashionably late, but you take it to another extreme.’

Evie stepped back to let Mor embrace Viv, the two of them so different yet alike; Viv with her white, coiled hair and pale blue dress and Mor, a beam of literal sunlight, with a crimson dress and lipstick to match it. Evie, on the other hand, wasn’t feeling like wearing one of her fancy dresses, so she opted for something practical — breezy pants with a wool sweater that clung tightly to her skin. At least it was white, blending in nicely with the background, but she was painfully underdressed for the occasion.

‘—and she’s so excited to meet them. Aren’t you, Evie?’

‘Huh?’ She snapped back to attention, finding the two women watching her carefully. ‘Oh! Of course I am. Very much so.’

Viv gave her a secretive smile before gesturing discreetly to the side of the room, in the proximity of one of the ice columns. Sitting right next to it was a High Fae male who looked like he had better things to do than be here.‘That is Kharos Dawnhorn. He’s a valuable member of the knights and a distant relative of Kallias. Since he’s one of the more… _approachable_ knights, I asked him to introduce you to a few of their tricks, but I have to warn you — they’re a far cry from Illyrians. Not in a bad way, of course, but you’ll see what I mean for yourself.’

He wasn’t paying attention to them, even though Evie was sure he must’ve felt three pairs of eyes trained solely on him.

‘So he knows about me?’

‘He does.’

‘Then there’s no reason to waste any time. I’ll go and introduce myself.’

‘But—‘ Evie cut Viv short by giving her a brief hug, then winked at her aunt, who also looked like she wanted to cut in.

She didn’t give them a chance to intervene or step in on her behalf. Evie was old enough to present herself to Fae — otherwise, how else were they supposed to take her seriously?

Cutting her way through the crowd, eyes trained on the knight, Evie began to discern certain features about him. Tall; imposingly tall, with silver hair that was pulled back from his face, revealing sharp features and even a few scars. Despite them, he didn’t look too mature — maybe a couple of years older than her, at most. His pose didn’t indicate centuries or even decades of fighting, as she saw in the males from her own family. You could usually tell these things by the manner they changed their body language or shifted whenever someone invaded their personal space or, as Evie was doing right now, walking right up to their faces.

A truly seasoned warrior, like her dad or Azriel, wouldn’t have visibly shifted at all, but their eyes would track your every move, allowing you to think that you had an advantage.

Kharos tensed when she saw her approach but, to his credit, didn’t shift his body. Eyes as dark as the night itself hardened as he beheld her, lips pulled in a firm line.

The first thought that occurred to Evie was that he was gorgeous; no, not gorgeous. Beautiful in a way that chilled her bones and thrilled her at the same time.

Showing off her signature grin, she stopped maybe two feet away from him.

‘You must be Kharos Dawnhorn. Vivi told me you’re a knight and would be willing to teach me a thing or two about your ways. I’m Evanora Archeron, but please call me Evie, all my friends do.’

‘I know who you are,’ he replied, voice flat and cold as ice. ‘And we are not friends, nor will we be, _lady_ Evanora.’

‘I guess hugs are also out of the question also, huh? ‘Cause I tend to hug my friends, too,’ she added, trying to keep her amusement from her voice.

Kharos scowled as he looked her up and down. Evie repaid the favour, noticing that he was a head taller than her, had quite a muscular body, and wore what she recognised as a knight uniform — all navy blue and covering almost all parts of the body, except his hands, neck and face. A bandolier of knives and daggers was slung across his chest and he carried a long sword at his hip. Large and heavy, from what she could tell, but the pommel was ordinary. Nothing extravagant or decorative. Purely for fighting reasons.

‘That is decidedly out of the question.’

‘Vivi mentioned you’d be a tough one. Are all of you like this?’

Evie was expecting this. Even looked forward to it — the cold and hard to crack behaviour. It thrilled her just to think what Vivi said, that he was one of the more approachable ones. Did that mean that the rest of them were worse? Oh, she was so looking forward to finding out for herself, even if it meant driving Kharos to the point of almost impaling her.

‘Worse. Are all Illyrians busybodies who talk more than they should?’

Evie snorted. ‘Oh, you have no idea. Believe it or not, there are others worse than me.’

‘Thirty seconds of this, and I find it hard to believe.’

‘Why are you sulking on the sides? There’s a party going on. Aren’t you going to have some fun?’

Kharos looked as if even the notion of _fun_ was appalling to him. ‘The only reason why I am here is because I was supposed to meet you. If I had it my way, I would be training right now.’

‘Perfect! That is also my idea of fun. Want to start now? Go a couple of rounds?’

Then Kharos did what all boys and men tended to do when she brought up the option of training and fighting — took another look at her, a _closer_ one, trying to see if they were capable of holding her own. It used to unnerve her greatly until her dad taught her not to be so shallow and use it to her advantage. Let others underestimate her; she knew what she was capable of.

‘When the High Lady asked me to train a female from the Night Court who wanted to become a warrior one day, I expected something else. Certainly not someone so young.’

‘I could say the same thing about you.’

‘I am not entirely versed in the way Illyrians fight, but us that want to join the knights start training as soon as five. I made it into the guard at fifteen, and now I am close to twenty.’

‘Cute. I held my first dagger at four,’ Evie chirped, then took another step, fully invading his personal space. She had to tilt her head back a bit to look him in the eye, and there was no mistaking his curiosity. ‘I grew up surrounded by the best warriors and fighters of my court, arguably of the entire continent, but make no mistake, this lifestyle was not thrust upon me. I chose it. And I am damn good at it, too. So, Frosty, are you done with your prejudices, or will you show me where the training area is?’

Kharos regarded her with a cold stare, but his entire body was tense, eyes darkening with every word that left her mouth. Still, a corner of his mouth moved upwards, the movement so subtle that she could barely see it.

‘Alright, lady Evanora. Let’s see what you are made of.’

Evie decided then that she was going to enjoy this no matter how prickly his attitude was going to be.

* * *

Kharos won the first fight.

And the second.

And the third.

It rattled Evie down to the core. So much so that she almost used her magic against him, something she usually avoided doing in fights, channelling it mostly into brute power, like her dad did. But Kharos wasn’t using any of his powers, and cheating certainly wasn’t her way.

On the fourth try, Evie managed to beat him, but it was more of a lucky win. She was so enraged that losing again was simply not an option.

Panting, Kharos looked up at her, wiping his brow with his forearm. They had both changed into training clothes and Evie took her sweet time braiding her head back, earning his discontent. But what was the purpose of fighting if she couldn’t look good while at it, too?

‘That was not as bad as before,’ he commented, barely paying attention to where her staff was pointed at his middle. ‘You have heart, I admit. That is a valuable skill in a fighter.’

‘Not as bad? I had you on the floor in less than a minute.’

‘Or maybe I simply allowed you to do that. I know the Fae from the Night Court can be a bit coarse with their manners, but us Winter folk value them greatly.’

That only fuelled her anger. Pulling back her staff, Evie was prepared to strike a blow that was surely going to leave him a panting mess and a couple of bruised ribs, but Kharos was fast. Too damn fast.

He rolled on his side and quickly stood up, side-stepping her and gripping the middle of her staff, pulling it back, and with it, her. Evie bowed and planted a foot in front of her, then, rolling on her heels, she switched positions and came face to face with him, not bothering to hide her scowl.

‘My manners are _impeccable_. I was friendly to you the moment I introduced myself. You’re the rude one.’

Kharos simply raised one eyebrow before pulling the staff hard, bringing her closer to him. ‘Rude? Have you met many Winter Fae?’

‘My cousin was born here,’ she offered, although it wasn’t really the same. Finn may have been born here, but he grew up in the Night Court nonetheless. ‘And he’s a hell lot nicer than you are.’

Then she made to hit him in the groin; a shitty move, perhaps, but it was one that required little momentum, and it would surely get him on his knees.

Only that Kharos anticipated her movement and side-stepped again, his foot sweeping hers from under her. Evie fell on her back and had enough conscience to haul her body to the left right as he made to snatch her arms and probably immobilise her.

‘At least we don’t use dirty fighting techniques,’ he said as he avoided a punch in the shins.

‘All is fair in war,’ Evie grunted, standing up. ‘But war is never fair.’

‘Wise words. Who said that?’

‘My dad, when he lost to me at cards. I cheated then, too.’

There — almost a smile. It almost disarmed her.

‘Little tip: we don’t believe in that. Nothing is fair in war, just like nothing is fair in life.’

He took another step towards her, and her wings fluttered. He now knew to keep an eye out for her wings, too, since she used them to fly overhead and kick him rather hard in the back.

‘In war, there is no good or bad side. Only the winning side. And to win, you must have no scruples, no morals, no ethic. You must not give in to fear or panic. Once you do that, you are lost, and so will the far.’

‘So… being as uncaring as possible is the goal? Yeah, that’s not for me.’

Kharos closed his eyes for a second, sighing. ‘No. That is not the goal. The goal is to rule fear out. Fear is the enemy, so make it your ally.’

Shifting from one leg to another, Evie wondered what was the need of this pep talk. This wasn’t what she wanted to learn; moves and tricks were more up her lane, not philosophies and old teachings. She had her aunt Amren for that.

‘I am not afraid.’

‘No?’ He took another step, then another. The points of their shoes were almost touching, and her breath nearly hitched. ‘We all have our fears. Denying them will only be your downfall. Accept your fears, face them, conquer them, and only _then_ you will be able to master your body and abilities. The physical fighting is only the half of it. This —‘ he pointed to her heart ‘— is the real obstacle. It will either be your enemy or ally. And it hides more than you let on.’

Then he stepped back, dropped the staff he was still holding and left her alone in the training room.

Alone and with only her erratic breathing, Evie didn’t know if she should feel angry or intrigued.

Angry, because he assumed he saw right through her.

Intrigued, because he _saw_ her.


End file.
